From being a lot older these days, I've made some really bad decisions from not thinking through things properly. It's like I lose patience and estimate wrong then I find out something, which turns out to suck out the fun. It's basically experiencing failure. I believe it happens, and this is where it comes down to building resiliency and considering if it's worth it or not.
This is probably what keeps me from making these cool decisions. It's from planning a lot in my head, but never having enough to follow through with all of it. It gets pretty hard, so I just managed to barely figure out how to re-organize myself. Having friends is great, and I seriously don't have that many. I guess it's just normal with where I'm at. Maybe, I'm just looking at the wrong place and the answer should really be about more Jesus.
From thinking about it, I see myself actually wanting to work really hard and contribute to offering some of my time and effort to support great ministries and even wonderful charities. I can see that it really feels good out of having just a generous heart. It doesn't have to be returned and that's where it's hard for a lot of people I guess to accept. I'm just one of those types who gets over that mess.
I just want to live out my life to the fullest and not get sucked into something that later on feels not that great for having done it. I make those mistakes constantly and even with the same things repetitiously. I have to now consider the positives and negatives because I believe that I can be resilient, but I would like to be happy at least while being that type of person.
My decisions are really going to have to be about making wise choices. It's like going after really seeing how things are from peeking through small cracks and windows that are available to dig through.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
