Being a guy who is visual and from having grown up with a little sister who wasn't that laid-back, it really brought on a lot of challenges for me. I think I asked her if she could set me up with her friends and then she would just get crazy and dumb with me about it. I think she had massive anger issues and blamed me all the time for it! I can't really blame her for trying my best to not offend her but I did anyway because she ticked me off so many times, too.
It's really funny to look back and just see things for what they are. My sister and I have a decent and better understanding. I am a really smart cookie who struggles a lot in the beginning and comes across as a scary lunatic who happens to be so smart! I'm about a head shorter compared to normal guys out there, and this still doesn't matter to people who are afraid of me. It's because they have become paranoid about my abilities from knowing that I am hard-working and seriously have the potential to screw them over and make them lose their position they worked so hard for. It's because they are afraid of not understanding what I'm bothered about, and they want to protect themselves.
From being a direct person, I have this effect of calming people's anger issues down. It's so strong that it even works on me! This is why I'm still writing about it to this day.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Accepting Craziness Over Silliness
I believe a lot of my life the last few years has been about overcoming my sensitive emotions while relating to others and having a decent flow with a string of good friendships. Something I have established is that I keep in contact with female friends more than guys. It's interesting because I'm single and looking for someone nonchalantly. They haven't really appealed to me so much yet as to me trying to go ask them out.
I think my biggest drawback is that I want to be financially successful and have my own place to live and manage a happy life while being single. Having female friends is great because I get to talk about some things with them and they have a nice perspective and it feels like there are some elements to going on a date with them while hanging out. It's a cool experience and something I can build upon when it comes to the moment that I do finally meet someone I want to pursue after.
I'm pretty much a calculating type person and want to be reasonable. I think for the longest time I cared about a woman's appearance, but now it's falling out. I think I'm more scared now with the thoughts of dating a lady with muscles, rather than being displeased by how manly she looks. It seems like there's all of these hidden assumptions to make a connection with and if it feels good enough than that's where it turns into like a hunt for finding satisfaction.
I think my biggest drawback is that I want to be financially successful and have my own place to live and manage a happy life while being single. Having female friends is great because I get to talk about some things with them and they have a nice perspective and it feels like there are some elements to going on a date with them while hanging out. It's a cool experience and something I can build upon when it comes to the moment that I do finally meet someone I want to pursue after.
I'm pretty much a calculating type person and want to be reasonable. I think for the longest time I cared about a woman's appearance, but now it's falling out. I think I'm more scared now with the thoughts of dating a lady with muscles, rather than being displeased by how manly she looks. It seems like there's all of these hidden assumptions to make a connection with and if it feels good enough than that's where it turns into like a hunt for finding satisfaction.
Staying Young At Heart
I think for most single adults and no matter how old he or she gets, they can stay young at heart and even tick off a bunch of family members for being so happy and not miserable about married life and having kids. My parents really want grandkids so that's where my comment came from. I have told them my reasons in that I don't want to get into arguments like they have in the past. How they stayed together in itself is a marvel because my dad once told me about how my mom tried to tear up the living room and house and started raging while shouting because she thought my dad was getting charmed by another lady.
My mom never talks about how crazy she was and pretends nothing happened and says don't bring it up because it's too embarrassing for others to find out about. My mom cares about her image in other words and I guess recently from the way I have acted and how other parents are happy out there, my mom wants to disappear because of me. I don't really care because we are all accountable for our own actions and I know I'm not some criminal and can be a smart aleck all he wants to be from working hard to get somewhere.
I believe in the whole saying of getting knocked down and rising back up only to fall again and to keep on reaching for the top. It's all rooted in hard work, passion, and consistency. There's an annoying guy I know who likes to say he's the best and has that delusional feeling like he's the best. It's one of those kids in the classroom who daydreams he's on top of the world and doing amazing feats. He believes he is it and is living it and then just starts becoming annoying when you disagree and try to prove your point. His biggest weakness I believe is not taking him seriously and moving on with your life without really staying in contact. In other words, it's depression because he isn't really happy from thinking he is the best all the time which is quite interesting to suspect of. It's probably more from being lonely and having no one to project and show off to and get a kick out of having an effect. A friend is his twin brother and keeps reinforcing it by responding negative to it. I think my friend has been crazy with all of his views and is also a loner for the most part. Humanity has like this hypocritical or opposite sides thanks to Adam and Eve's fall at the Garden of Eden ( Book of Genesis).
My mom never talks about how crazy she was and pretends nothing happened and says don't bring it up because it's too embarrassing for others to find out about. My mom cares about her image in other words and I guess recently from the way I have acted and how other parents are happy out there, my mom wants to disappear because of me. I don't really care because we are all accountable for our own actions and I know I'm not some criminal and can be a smart aleck all he wants to be from working hard to get somewhere.
I believe in the whole saying of getting knocked down and rising back up only to fall again and to keep on reaching for the top. It's all rooted in hard work, passion, and consistency. There's an annoying guy I know who likes to say he's the best and has that delusional feeling like he's the best. It's one of those kids in the classroom who daydreams he's on top of the world and doing amazing feats. He believes he is it and is living it and then just starts becoming annoying when you disagree and try to prove your point. His biggest weakness I believe is not taking him seriously and moving on with your life without really staying in contact. In other words, it's depression because he isn't really happy from thinking he is the best all the time which is quite interesting to suspect of. It's probably more from being lonely and having no one to project and show off to and get a kick out of having an effect. A friend is his twin brother and keeps reinforcing it by responding negative to it. I think my friend has been crazy with all of his views and is also a loner for the most part. Humanity has like this hypocritical or opposite sides thanks to Adam and Eve's fall at the Garden of Eden ( Book of Genesis).
Getting Out of a Funk with People in the Past
It really doesn't matter because it's all in the past now. As long as you aren't pursuing after vengeance or going after suing the heck out of a person who caused you mental or emotional trauma, I guess it really doesn't matter how mad he or she made you. I think the most important thing is to ask questions and come to assumptions if the person ends up acting dumb with you. By what I mean dumb is that he or she gets mad at you or ignores your questions.
I'm making assumptions that I'm not in trouble anymore and don't have to worry about how mad I made some people because I couldn't comprehend why they were acting like a bunch of crazies with me! Being mad isn't really a requirement and I guess people are going to be selfish and looking out for themselves as much as possible because it's only a natural thing.
I think it's really important to weigh what your personal needs are before pursuing after something a person did to you in the past. If it isn't really that important and just sucks then I guess that's where you would have to learn to move on.
I get it now. I need to go back to that church in Los Angeles with crazy Lee and that stupid pastor still there. I hope they left and I don't have to deal with them. I hope all the people who have traces of a memory of me left or just forgot about whatever the incident was. Crazy Lee was being stupid and thought a restraining order would get me to never attend their church again. It went away and I went back again and I heard from another girl who went crazy with me that it's okay to go back there again! I deleted those messages by the way, so I have no proof except for a few comments where she just went on a cussing frenzy. It should prove that she wasn't all there and just really mad about nothing really serious and that she should get some counseling to move on if it really bugs her that much- I was just asking her to add me on Facebook and kept on bringing it up every time she said no.
I guess some people have problems dealing with persistent people and they don't know how to deal with stresses of life which can be persistently more serious than just persistent people asking for a non-serious thing such as adding a person on Facebook because he or she feels like a connection with someone. I think it's a indication that maybe they need to refocus on the important things in life and get themselves settled. Yeah, I was really good at keeping a peaceful relationship but I was so mad in the past with the crazies I tried to have a good friendship with. It's all good now because I'm laughing about the past and accepting who I am even through all that stress from putting in more hard work and pursuing after a universally known, common goal.
I'm making assumptions that I'm not in trouble anymore and don't have to worry about how mad I made some people because I couldn't comprehend why they were acting like a bunch of crazies with me! Being mad isn't really a requirement and I guess people are going to be selfish and looking out for themselves as much as possible because it's only a natural thing.
I think it's really important to weigh what your personal needs are before pursuing after something a person did to you in the past. If it isn't really that important and just sucks then I guess that's where you would have to learn to move on.
I get it now. I need to go back to that church in Los Angeles with crazy Lee and that stupid pastor still there. I hope they left and I don't have to deal with them. I hope all the people who have traces of a memory of me left or just forgot about whatever the incident was. Crazy Lee was being stupid and thought a restraining order would get me to never attend their church again. It went away and I went back again and I heard from another girl who went crazy with me that it's okay to go back there again! I deleted those messages by the way, so I have no proof except for a few comments where she just went on a cussing frenzy. It should prove that she wasn't all there and just really mad about nothing really serious and that she should get some counseling to move on if it really bugs her that much- I was just asking her to add me on Facebook and kept on bringing it up every time she said no.
I guess some people have problems dealing with persistent people and they don't know how to deal with stresses of life which can be persistently more serious than just persistent people asking for a non-serious thing such as adding a person on Facebook because he or she feels like a connection with someone. I think it's a indication that maybe they need to refocus on the important things in life and get themselves settled. Yeah, I was really good at keeping a peaceful relationship but I was so mad in the past with the crazies I tried to have a good friendship with. It's all good now because I'm laughing about the past and accepting who I am even through all that stress from putting in more hard work and pursuing after a universally known, common goal.
Monday, October 29, 2018
Accepting Things That Suck
It sucks that I ended up becoming a short man- somehow, when I was typing the 'R' keyboard it looked like this shorrrrrrrrrt. It's funny how the keyboard sucks since I have been using it for awhile and it's all dusty with useful shortcuts, so I don't want to replace it. It's really cool to have a sense of humor and to relate with others- I believe a lot of people like it especially attractive ladies! It's good for me since I'm single and looking nonchalantly. There's two girls who hit me up yesterday and yes, they are single. "Heyyy!" would be the reaction I get from some people.
I used to hate getting patted in the back by girls, but after seeing guys pat each other after winning a game in the World Series last week, I really don't care anymore and will be expressive and enjoy some good hugs even if that other girl isn't feeling it and hugging me out of obligatory issues she has trouble resolving! I'm saying those ladies pat me on the back, and it used to suck for me.
I used to hate getting patted in the back by girls, but after seeing guys pat each other after winning a game in the World Series last week, I really don't care anymore and will be expressive and enjoy some good hugs even if that other girl isn't feeling it and hugging me out of obligatory issues she has trouble resolving! I'm saying those ladies pat me on the back, and it used to suck for me.
Moving Forward
I believe that becoming an inspiration while staying busy is probably the best way to make a strong impact with others. In order to get there, we also need to learn from others and probably being a sponge is a great way to pick up on skills! I have been around so much annoying critiques from others, but it's going to keep on coming from them if I don't pursue after hard work with making a living.
There's nothing wrong with studying something that piques our interest and earning a doctorate out of it is really admirable and not easy. It's like there's places out there to go seek and find for getting a second chance. There's a view I have to ask now and it's really similar to my perception of how people have made such positive change with themselves when it comes to Christianity.
It's crazy how Christianity and having met God through believing upon His son Jesus creates a new life set apart from the old ways of living for some fleshly desires and fosters a happy change and in turn, inspires some people or maybe, some might be annoyed by that happy-go and hard-working Christian who is against their lifestyle. It happens!
Just having lived a crazy and angry life and then all of a sudden cleaning it up and turning it around while being able to relate with everybody is a powerful testimony in itself and this is what a lot is based off of for a believer to lead others into the faith. I guess learning about how loving God really is through some guidance and to be able to fellowship with other believers is a really necessary element and this is what I haven't had the chance to do in awhile. I would be about just pursuing after studying His Word and hoping to apply and use it someday. It's part of my convictions but to have also gone and visited a welcoming community of other believers at a church, it's really influenced me to be also happy about retaining the message they shared yesterday.
Yeah, whatever happened between me with that nasty Hope of God church in Los Angeles is bygones already and they definitely will have anger issues about it with me ever bringing it up again. I understand what's going on in their selfish heads and accept it without being mad myself because I know how to laugh about the crazy incidents they supported back then. The fact that I'm able to communicate about it and even debate heavily in my favor even makes my mom not want to argue with me and just stay quiet. It's definitely not a great teaching church nor a really good practicing one even though they might have some pride about it. It's life and not everybody was meant to stay connected with one another, and I just have a different purpose outside of its exclusive church. A lot of people I affiliated with at that church left too, and it's good that they did but they did for their own personal reasons after the incident with me. I think it opened up their eyes to examine their teachings and questionable manners. I believe a few genuine and gifted individuals remain there, and I hope they will be able to turn it around for the church- maybe they are already happy with the good parts and don't need to be like greedy for more public attention. When it comes down to it, accountability belongs to each of us separately no matter how much you want to blame someone or something else for it. The good thing is that it's never too late to practice hard work and consistency as long as you are willing to and even after you left it for awhile.
There's nothing wrong with studying something that piques our interest and earning a doctorate out of it is really admirable and not easy. It's like there's places out there to go seek and find for getting a second chance. There's a view I have to ask now and it's really similar to my perception of how people have made such positive change with themselves when it comes to Christianity.
It's crazy how Christianity and having met God through believing upon His son Jesus creates a new life set apart from the old ways of living for some fleshly desires and fosters a happy change and in turn, inspires some people or maybe, some might be annoyed by that happy-go and hard-working Christian who is against their lifestyle. It happens!
Just having lived a crazy and angry life and then all of a sudden cleaning it up and turning it around while being able to relate with everybody is a powerful testimony in itself and this is what a lot is based off of for a believer to lead others into the faith. I guess learning about how loving God really is through some guidance and to be able to fellowship with other believers is a really necessary element and this is what I haven't had the chance to do in awhile. I would be about just pursuing after studying His Word and hoping to apply and use it someday. It's part of my convictions but to have also gone and visited a welcoming community of other believers at a church, it's really influenced me to be also happy about retaining the message they shared yesterday.
Yeah, whatever happened between me with that nasty Hope of God church in Los Angeles is bygones already and they definitely will have anger issues about it with me ever bringing it up again. I understand what's going on in their selfish heads and accept it without being mad myself because I know how to laugh about the crazy incidents they supported back then. The fact that I'm able to communicate about it and even debate heavily in my favor even makes my mom not want to argue with me and just stay quiet. It's definitely not a great teaching church nor a really good practicing one even though they might have some pride about it. It's life and not everybody was meant to stay connected with one another, and I just have a different purpose outside of its exclusive church. A lot of people I affiliated with at that church left too, and it's good that they did but they did for their own personal reasons after the incident with me. I think it opened up their eyes to examine their teachings and questionable manners. I believe a few genuine and gifted individuals remain there, and I hope they will be able to turn it around for the church- maybe they are already happy with the good parts and don't need to be like greedy for more public attention. When it comes down to it, accountability belongs to each of us separately no matter how much you want to blame someone or something else for it. The good thing is that it's never too late to practice hard work and consistency as long as you are willing to and even after you left it for awhile.
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Working Hard Under Feelings of Hardship
My feeling of hardship is pretty much just feeling confused with nothing to do and wanting to free myself of this excessive worry so I attempt to find healthy and productive things to do by probably trying to watch exciting and addictive Japanese animated episodes. They are really awesome for binge watching. Most of the time, it's too much for me to stay obsessed about it so I speed through it by reading spoilers on the Internet. If the details sound too good, I still watch that episode by trying to find it for free on YouTube.
I'm a Korean-American with parents who immigrated here, so that means my parents grew up with other people who want to hate the Japanese. I was influenced by it a little too by a teacher who talked bad about the Japanese and made fun of them for their violent and oppressive history. It's like when the Koreans take on the Japanese in a competitive and violent soccer match during a world-class match up, I'm all for the Koreans to take them out. Other than that, I binge eat all of their sushi and like to binge watch some of their animated shows intended for college kids.
I don't really have any problems with beautiful Japanese ladies either now because it's all about the personality, but some of them are naturally very physically attractive too! I think my parents and old relatives would flip out if I did end up marrying one of them. I don't really care about their happiness to be honest when it comes to love. I don't really care either if they want to isolate me from their family functions because it's really been about having a meal ticket for me while hardly being raised by busy and hard-working parents. I totally appreciate all they tried to do but it could have been better and I wish it was better like the selfish individual I am, but nothing will come out of it from just wishing. I have my own life to live now and I'm glad to be influenced by the Bible and in my faith upon trusting the Lord, Savior, and supernatural friend Jesus. I feel like nothing is wrong for believing that I shouldn't be focused on pleasing selfish parents who say I should marry only the race they approve of. The Bible is cool about it, so I'm cool about it! It's all about the personality.
I'm a Korean-American with parents who immigrated here, so that means my parents grew up with other people who want to hate the Japanese. I was influenced by it a little too by a teacher who talked bad about the Japanese and made fun of them for their violent and oppressive history. It's like when the Koreans take on the Japanese in a competitive and violent soccer match during a world-class match up, I'm all for the Koreans to take them out. Other than that, I binge eat all of their sushi and like to binge watch some of their animated shows intended for college kids.
I don't really have any problems with beautiful Japanese ladies either now because it's all about the personality, but some of them are naturally very physically attractive too! I think my parents and old relatives would flip out if I did end up marrying one of them. I don't really care about their happiness to be honest when it comes to love. I don't really care either if they want to isolate me from their family functions because it's really been about having a meal ticket for me while hardly being raised by busy and hard-working parents. I totally appreciate all they tried to do but it could have been better and I wish it was better like the selfish individual I am, but nothing will come out of it from just wishing. I have my own life to live now and I'm glad to be influenced by the Bible and in my faith upon trusting the Lord, Savior, and supernatural friend Jesus. I feel like nothing is wrong for believing that I shouldn't be focused on pleasing selfish parents who say I should marry only the race they approve of. The Bible is cool about it, so I'm cool about it! It's all about the personality.
Would Be Nice But Dumb To Keep Doing
Men are visual creatures and some are too far into it that yes, I can side with some feminists on how some men talk like perverted, selfish pigs and end up degrading their object of desire from being all caught up with those feelings. I honestly don't believe in doing that either and want to be respectful and find a woman who will go all out for me while being married to her! It would be great to do the same thing back for her.
It was fun while I was a teenager and illegally surfing those naughty sites because I think it said I had to be at least 18 and in some sites 21. I kept on going back to them because I was hooked on looking at fleshly things that made me feel like I wanted some of that too. After awhile, it felt bad because I wanted to get stuff done and I wasn't getting any of it by continuously looking at it. The Bible says to enjoy it in marriage and I believe wholeheartedly what the Bible says, so this has been my stupid obsession all this time.
I'm not really hooked onto those naughty adult sites anymore but I'm tempted to look at it for occasional entertainment and I feel embarrassed to reveal it to anybody. The reason I'm being open about it on this blog is because I know it's a normal thing for an average, young guy to face. It would be nice to be married to an ultra-physically attractive lady who is all for doing whatever and making me feel validated about it on a daily basis, but I have to be realistic here. It's a cool fantasy that would be awesome if it happened in real life for me in a great marriage with only one lady who is the hottest person in the world, but it's all about the personality for me now.
It was fun while I was a teenager and illegally surfing those naughty sites because I think it said I had to be at least 18 and in some sites 21. I kept on going back to them because I was hooked on looking at fleshly things that made me feel like I wanted some of that too. After awhile, it felt bad because I wanted to get stuff done and I wasn't getting any of it by continuously looking at it. The Bible says to enjoy it in marriage and I believe wholeheartedly what the Bible says, so this has been my stupid obsession all this time.
I'm not really hooked onto those naughty adult sites anymore but I'm tempted to look at it for occasional entertainment and I feel embarrassed to reveal it to anybody. The reason I'm being open about it on this blog is because I know it's a normal thing for an average, young guy to face. It would be nice to be married to an ultra-physically attractive lady who is all for doing whatever and making me feel validated about it on a daily basis, but I have to be realistic here. It's a cool fantasy that would be awesome if it happened in real life for me in a great marriage with only one lady who is the hottest person in the world, but it's all about the personality for me now.
Controlling Self and Managing
I believe that wanting to give into natural desires without putting much thought into it is foolish. Looking back at them, it sometimes leaves me with feeling quite a bit of regret. Even though I make promises to myself, I haven't been consistent about it. I can probably run with it for about a day or two on average before relapsing. Fortunately, I don't personally support getting into drugs and alcohol no matter what the situation arises. I also do not believe in gambling when the odds are against the person because mathematically it means losing in the long run; a friend has this inflated view that he was meant to win at casino games and ends up losing sometimes, so I think he's just being crazy and wants to stay ignorant about details.
I do a lot of thinking and my guilty pleasures have been in the past being addicted to fun video games and TV shows. I guess it's all normal for me then, but I continue to not be satisfied and want to work hard on myself and stay consistent. I know I can be among the smart crowd and perform at a high level while being really happy about it and not looking down on everybody if I end up beating them. I'm not even fretting so much about people being better than me either, except for probably ladies running faster than me on a trail!
Overall, it's just a really strong emotion that personally influences me to escape off of finding entertainment and being bored of it sometimes. If I could live through this painful feeling and uncertainty in the present while being on top of things then I think I will be successful enough but always feeling room for myself to keep on growing. On top of this, I can find other things I want to work on at the same time. It's just a matter of committing with everything I'm saying now because my thoughts and plans are very good but I have historically not done anything about it.
I do a lot of thinking and my guilty pleasures have been in the past being addicted to fun video games and TV shows. I guess it's all normal for me then, but I continue to not be satisfied and want to work hard on myself and stay consistent. I know I can be among the smart crowd and perform at a high level while being really happy about it and not looking down on everybody if I end up beating them. I'm not even fretting so much about people being better than me either, except for probably ladies running faster than me on a trail!
Overall, it's just a really strong emotion that personally influences me to escape off of finding entertainment and being bored of it sometimes. If I could live through this painful feeling and uncertainty in the present while being on top of things then I think I will be successful enough but always feeling room for myself to keep on growing. On top of this, I can find other things I want to work on at the same time. It's just a matter of committing with everything I'm saying now because my thoughts and plans are very good but I have historically not done anything about it.
Trying To Be The Best
My latest distraction from getting to where I want to be financially is watching the World Series between the Los Angeles Dodgers and Boston Red Sox. Both of them are great teams with the Red Sox having the bigger edge to win this year. I'm watching it while rooting for the Dodgers. My eyes are really glued to the television set and I know I could be getting going with my personal tasks.
I will be continuing to try my best though and putting in a lot of effort. My biggest weakness is probably lack of commitment from being short-sighted and giving up rather easily, while not seeing things for what they are. I guess it's about the hours of hard work and understanding the game plan while having passion for something, which makes it all worthwhile and living for in the end.
It's probably because I never really understood enough nor put the time and effort into it that I'm not really the best at what I do. I need selfless individuals in my life to show me how things are run, but the world doesn't really function like that with mostly everybody looking out for their own interests. If I could be self-adaptable and consistent while putting in a lot of effort and be happy, then I think I'll be fine. This is why I believe being true to oneself really matters a lot. Life is basically meant to be hard and finding things to overcome makes it such a great objective.
I will be continuing to try my best though and putting in a lot of effort. My biggest weakness is probably lack of commitment from being short-sighted and giving up rather easily, while not seeing things for what they are. I guess it's about the hours of hard work and understanding the game plan while having passion for something, which makes it all worthwhile and living for in the end.
It's probably because I never really understood enough nor put the time and effort into it that I'm not really the best at what I do. I need selfless individuals in my life to show me how things are run, but the world doesn't really function like that with mostly everybody looking out for their own interests. If I could be self-adaptable and consistent while putting in a lot of effort and be happy, then I think I'll be fine. This is why I believe being true to oneself really matters a lot. Life is basically meant to be hard and finding things to overcome makes it such a great objective.
Monday, October 22, 2018
Hanging Out With Girls
I had the privilege last weekend of hanging out with four girls and another guy who really didn't do much but just be there for the birthday girl and hang out with his ex. This means that four girls including the guy's ex were free for me to get to know. They are all from different families too, so it meant different personalities and all sharing a similarity- they have a history of mental disorder and were open about sharing it. I like one of the girl's personalities a lot and she's managing her symptoms really well and is a dainty and chill lady with consistency. She's seen as cute, pretty, and beautiful by the other ladies even though she has a small belly popping out. This is saying something with how the personality will outshine appearance on a long-term scale for mature people.
I noticed one girl make a lot of crude and dirty jokes while espousing the acts of smoking weed and it was pretty annoying for me to think about on the grounds of health reasons for me. One of the ladies unfortunately had an episode where the people in her head started spatting out insults and she lost control while getting too angry and then yelling at them out loud with all her energy and we were able to hear what she said but not her voices. It was really sad for us to experience it and I had the blessing of being able to see her get out of the episode. It comes and goes for her daily and it's on her mind 24-7 that it distracts her from doing anything else and she's too mad and regretting everything she said was negative after the episode. There is no cure for it with medicine and all her medication does is that it puts her to sleep when she can't handle yelling at those voices anymore and not paying attention to her surrounding. She isn't violent but it seems like almost everyone wants to pity her and keep their distance if it seems like it's going to make her uncomfortable.
I seem to know a lot about the details and how to deal with it because I've had a few years of hanging out with her to put it all together. Plus, she's been very open about her episodes with me while treating it as if it's really happening for her. I've told her I deny it's real and that her people in her head can't do anything to me even though she has said that they are doing something to me. She believes I'm invulnerable to her evil voices and that I'm hot for helping her so I guess that's cool and I have a personal laugh at a lot of what she says while yelling from thinking it's funny for her to try to provoke a catfight with the evil little girls in her head. She isn't violent and is very benevolent towards people and even loves people in general. I think this is why she has repeatedly checked out of mental hospitals early. There really is no cure except for those to be bothered by it who don't like what she's doing and feeling hurt when she's pointing blame at them because of it. The blame isn't really their fault and she's just seeing it like how those voices have attached themselves to others from some spiritual realm she believes to be very real while obviously it doesn't exist for everyone else.
One good thing I noticed from this weekend is that she gained another friend who sincerely wants to help her through her mental problems with those evil voices. She could sure use more of these friends to help her through and I'm glad that I want to encourage it.
I noticed one girl make a lot of crude and dirty jokes while espousing the acts of smoking weed and it was pretty annoying for me to think about on the grounds of health reasons for me. One of the ladies unfortunately had an episode where the people in her head started spatting out insults and she lost control while getting too angry and then yelling at them out loud with all her energy and we were able to hear what she said but not her voices. It was really sad for us to experience it and I had the blessing of being able to see her get out of the episode. It comes and goes for her daily and it's on her mind 24-7 that it distracts her from doing anything else and she's too mad and regretting everything she said was negative after the episode. There is no cure for it with medicine and all her medication does is that it puts her to sleep when she can't handle yelling at those voices anymore and not paying attention to her surrounding. She isn't violent but it seems like almost everyone wants to pity her and keep their distance if it seems like it's going to make her uncomfortable.
I seem to know a lot about the details and how to deal with it because I've had a few years of hanging out with her to put it all together. Plus, she's been very open about her episodes with me while treating it as if it's really happening for her. I've told her I deny it's real and that her people in her head can't do anything to me even though she has said that they are doing something to me. She believes I'm invulnerable to her evil voices and that I'm hot for helping her so I guess that's cool and I have a personal laugh at a lot of what she says while yelling from thinking it's funny for her to try to provoke a catfight with the evil little girls in her head. She isn't violent and is very benevolent towards people and even loves people in general. I think this is why she has repeatedly checked out of mental hospitals early. There really is no cure except for those to be bothered by it who don't like what she's doing and feeling hurt when she's pointing blame at them because of it. The blame isn't really their fault and she's just seeing it like how those voices have attached themselves to others from some spiritual realm she believes to be very real while obviously it doesn't exist for everyone else.
One good thing I noticed from this weekend is that she gained another friend who sincerely wants to help her through her mental problems with those evil voices. She could sure use more of these friends to help her through and I'm glad that I want to encourage it.
Understanding Life
I believe the ultimate standard to understanding how to live life is to study the Bible. A lot of it is really hard to make out and there will always be some things to it that people will view differently. The main things do add up for a person to identify as a Christian- like believing upon Jesus to have opened the door to heaven from having allowed himself to be sacrificed for all of our sins. This is the main belief for all Christians and it's all summed up with John 3:16. I haven't even memorized what John 3:17 says! It's a beautiful verse though from having just read it- "For God did not send his Son to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Wow, I don't see how the interpretation of limited salvation for the privileged even applies now when it comes to the gospel. This is really a strong statement and that Christ's death is meant to be for all and anyone no matter what he or she did if only the choice is made to believe and accept it.
So basically, if anyone doesn't believe what Jesus did then he or she really isn't a Christian. I guess a Mormon believes in ruling a planet someday in the afterlife if he was a great man and I don't know if this even applies to women- what a messed up religion by the way if it's true! Jehovah Witnesses mainly believe only 144,000 out of all mankind to have lived in like 5000 years of known history will make it to heaven- oh man, so messed up! Christianity is about free entry into heaven from just believing Jesus paid for it with his blood. This is the message of how God is love. Lamentations 3:31-33 claims that God has unfailing love, meaning it's perfect so God has even been mad at His people for being cruel with others. God's perfect two commandments which says that it fulfills God's whole law is to love God and everyone with all your mind, heart, and soul. People have anger issues and that's for sure- it creates some relationship problems with one another. I have found out that the truth can set these people free. A proverb in the Bible says that honesty is like a kiss on the lips! It's like just explaining they are too mad to be able to do anything about it and too mad that they are seeing it all wrong and not caring about it and fortunately, because of their inability to do stuff it makes it easier for me to tell them off with harsh and selfish humor and get them to move on if it deals with me somehow! I'm really glad that I finally adopted this full-on honesty with my lips approach from being inspired by the Bible, and it means I can't be a coward about it.
So basically, if anyone doesn't believe what Jesus did then he or she really isn't a Christian. I guess a Mormon believes in ruling a planet someday in the afterlife if he was a great man and I don't know if this even applies to women- what a messed up religion by the way if it's true! Jehovah Witnesses mainly believe only 144,000 out of all mankind to have lived in like 5000 years of known history will make it to heaven- oh man, so messed up! Christianity is about free entry into heaven from just believing Jesus paid for it with his blood. This is the message of how God is love. Lamentations 3:31-33 claims that God has unfailing love, meaning it's perfect so God has even been mad at His people for being cruel with others. God's perfect two commandments which says that it fulfills God's whole law is to love God and everyone with all your mind, heart, and soul. People have anger issues and that's for sure- it creates some relationship problems with one another. I have found out that the truth can set these people free. A proverb in the Bible says that honesty is like a kiss on the lips! It's like just explaining they are too mad to be able to do anything about it and too mad that they are seeing it all wrong and not caring about it and fortunately, because of their inability to do stuff it makes it easier for me to tell them off with harsh and selfish humor and get them to move on if it deals with me somehow! I'm really glad that I finally adopted this full-on honesty with my lips approach from being inspired by the Bible, and it means I can't be a coward about it.
Friday, October 19, 2018
Life Thought Process
It looks like my life is really planned a lot around thinking about worthwhile things to spend my money or time on and also trying to invest so I will be free to engage in those plans. Life sure does feel empty without having a sense of purpose and I'm glad that with my beliefs, I owe it all to the Lord. Living life as a true Christian is truly representing spiritual freedom and I guess some people have had bad experiences or just don't like them from something they disagree about. I guess I could use more of my time to be in prayer about it then even though I don't and have been tuning into Pastor's Perspective daily during the weekdays and even listening to a Bible lesson while driving to work.
I also have been fun reading the God's Word translation because it's been a lot easier for me to understand it and then if I have a question about a verse, I end up reading J. Vernon McGee's commentary and sometimes also Jon Courson's New Testament. They are both basic enough and even disagree with each other on some teaching points, but it's useful enough for me! J. Vernon McGee will reference passages in the King James version and so reading it extra makes it pretty interesting. It's like letting them spoon-feed me for the moment so I can grow faster in basic, Biblical knowledge. I have been surprised by how much there is to know about the Bible and from what I was taught previously, how I was so limited before.
I have four lists now to organize my tasks while using my G-mail account. It's been very useful for me and simple. I like these two things a lot- simple and very useful! I'm starting to realize that with everything I have worked at with my investing, it's been about trying to make a living and I faltered with not applying myself. It's like those businesses require a gamble in putting a lot of time into it before getting successful. My mom even told me that making a living is a necessary gamble because without it how could one survive in this world? Instead of cutting losses, they went for it all the way and in my dad's case, he was successful. Knowing my mom's personality, my mom would have stuck with us all the way to the end and do all she can to support the family even if the business failed. Fortunately, it all turned around for my dad's business. I'm learning some more of these valuable life lessons and it's like gaining knowledge is nothing without applying it. It becomes like a pastime.
I also have been fun reading the God's Word translation because it's been a lot easier for me to understand it and then if I have a question about a verse, I end up reading J. Vernon McGee's commentary and sometimes also Jon Courson's New Testament. They are both basic enough and even disagree with each other on some teaching points, but it's useful enough for me! J. Vernon McGee will reference passages in the King James version and so reading it extra makes it pretty interesting. It's like letting them spoon-feed me for the moment so I can grow faster in basic, Biblical knowledge. I have been surprised by how much there is to know about the Bible and from what I was taught previously, how I was so limited before.
I have four lists now to organize my tasks while using my G-mail account. It's been very useful for me and simple. I like these two things a lot- simple and very useful! I'm starting to realize that with everything I have worked at with my investing, it's been about trying to make a living and I faltered with not applying myself. It's like those businesses require a gamble in putting a lot of time into it before getting successful. My mom even told me that making a living is a necessary gamble because without it how could one survive in this world? Instead of cutting losses, they went for it all the way and in my dad's case, he was successful. Knowing my mom's personality, my mom would have stuck with us all the way to the end and do all she can to support the family even if the business failed. Fortunately, it all turned around for my dad's business. I'm learning some more of these valuable life lessons and it's like gaining knowledge is nothing without applying it. It becomes like a pastime.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Practice Makes Perfect
It's all too common of a saying with how practice does make a person perfect on anything! It's just that it's boring sometimes and can even be too stressful to handle. I guess there's a limit to all that madness with our endeavors we should all figure out and putting it together correctly is what will make a person successful. I think one of the key elements is being consistent on time management and it is the hardest trick to master for me.
It's just saying that I'm being so senseless from being one-dimensional. I have a list of few more things that I would like to dive into, but I'm never really able to for whatever reason. I guess I will pretty much keep on employing hard work and staying focused while managing self-control and discipline. In a way, it makes me feel happy to be able to live this way and I should have done it from the start. From having worked at it and having great relationships with a pair of girls who are sisters, it's really been a stepping stone for me to realize what life may have to offer and where I would like its direction to head into.
It's just saying that I'm being so senseless from being one-dimensional. I have a list of few more things that I would like to dive into, but I'm never really able to for whatever reason. I guess I will pretty much keep on employing hard work and staying focused while managing self-control and discipline. In a way, it makes me feel happy to be able to live this way and I should have done it from the start. From having worked at it and having great relationships with a pair of girls who are sisters, it's really been a stepping stone for me to realize what life may have to offer and where I would like its direction to head into.
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
Putting Ultimate Trust In Bible
From what I believe the Holy Spirit has put into my heart, grace is given to the humble and shame will be brought to the prideful. Something interesting I recall from the past is that when I felt something was going so well for me, like when a person won me some pogs with a slammer back then, I would shout for joy and feel so happy and be like "Yeahhhh!" for awhile. It was infectious with making people who are usually calm and nice laugh.
The scary thing would be is if I'm expecting myself to win and be better than others and then look down on people. It would really make me want to slack off then with doing some more work and maybe struggle a bit more to stay the best. I know what it's like to be at the top after having put in some work that no one else was smart enough to figure out. It's not very serious like being number one of my classroom and maybe within top ten of the whole district. I have been so nervous about those things and wanting to fidget and spaz out but I would hold it in and not show it to anyone.
These days I'm trying to limit my personal amount of damage I'm doing while still single and nonchalantly looking. There's a girl I get along really well with and I have been seriously wondering if we are meant to be together, but she's split up a few times from ex-partners. I'm a little iffy about diving into a relationship with her, but our friendship reigns still supreme and more fun than ever. Maybe the attraction is mutually there, but I feel comfortable with us being joyful about having each other as great friends. I think to see something with this girl, I would need to have been in a serious relationship with another lady previously. I want to find someone who is a keeper, so I have been just lounging around and occasionally feeling out of it from repressing personal frustrations.
God's Word in the Bible mentions through living up to the Lord's promise, we will find true happiness and contentment no matter what the odds and circumstances are. There's no need to try to personally cheat the system but instead, it's better to find things to do that are permissibly fair and just and also with showing a lot of self-control and perseverance. Surely, there are people who have obtained favor with others and can do things that are inappropriate but others will feel the same way about those situations and stumble too.
I think I need to realize with discernment that I seriously have some emotional outbursts every once in awhile and do things impulsively. I don't do it 24-7 otherwise I would be called crazy and not be able to do my job and never get paid. I think with my loose and laid-back personality, I would like to chill out a whole heck of a lot more and not give into dumb substitutes when the Lord already had something for it. I will just have to be accepting with how lowly of a person I am and unable to do or look and act a certain way because it just isn't me and trying to follow attractive people who are into sex too far in a little will lead me to get no satisfaction!
The scary thing would be is if I'm expecting myself to win and be better than others and then look down on people. It would really make me want to slack off then with doing some more work and maybe struggle a bit more to stay the best. I know what it's like to be at the top after having put in some work that no one else was smart enough to figure out. It's not very serious like being number one of my classroom and maybe within top ten of the whole district. I have been so nervous about those things and wanting to fidget and spaz out but I would hold it in and not show it to anyone.
These days I'm trying to limit my personal amount of damage I'm doing while still single and nonchalantly looking. There's a girl I get along really well with and I have been seriously wondering if we are meant to be together, but she's split up a few times from ex-partners. I'm a little iffy about diving into a relationship with her, but our friendship reigns still supreme and more fun than ever. Maybe the attraction is mutually there, but I feel comfortable with us being joyful about having each other as great friends. I think to see something with this girl, I would need to have been in a serious relationship with another lady previously. I want to find someone who is a keeper, so I have been just lounging around and occasionally feeling out of it from repressing personal frustrations.
God's Word in the Bible mentions through living up to the Lord's promise, we will find true happiness and contentment no matter what the odds and circumstances are. There's no need to try to personally cheat the system but instead, it's better to find things to do that are permissibly fair and just and also with showing a lot of self-control and perseverance. Surely, there are people who have obtained favor with others and can do things that are inappropriate but others will feel the same way about those situations and stumble too.
I think I need to realize with discernment that I seriously have some emotional outbursts every once in awhile and do things impulsively. I don't do it 24-7 otherwise I would be called crazy and not be able to do my job and never get paid. I think with my loose and laid-back personality, I would like to chill out a whole heck of a lot more and not give into dumb substitutes when the Lord already had something for it. I will just have to be accepting with how lowly of a person I am and unable to do or look and act a certain way because it just isn't me and trying to follow attractive people who are into sex too far in a little will lead me to get no satisfaction!
Being Consistent With Routine
I don't seem to have any problems at all with making plans for myself, but yesterday night, I faltered from feeling boredom. I think I need to work more on self-control, and it's not like I haven't had years of practice with doing self-constraint, it just isn't consistent. I can find myself doing something that I never intended on and then stop myself or sometimes, if I'm too carried away I'll make the decision to keep on doing it. It's like being so eager to finish a good movie and then something gets bothersome, but you still don't want to leave the theater and put it off for later. I have some work to do on that for myself. I'm still getting carried away and losing a grip of my surroundings every once in awhile.
I envision myself being a rich and jolly fellow and maybe in a few years. It all depends how my personal research and development goes with trying to master the art of investing while self-employed. I find myself drawn to it because I see people as like an obstacle when it comes to doing business and would rather eliminate that clutter while getting down to the nitty gritty of letting my money react to a changing environment for bringing in some profit! It's also insanely difficult to be consistently good at it. It's a challenge I have accepted to fathom and with trying to win people's attention and make money, it's too stressful for me to worry about so I can't do it. For me, trying to learn to do some refined investment techniques and continuously adapting to find more profitable ways is cutting it.
Monday, October 15, 2018
Finding Purpose
All I can really think about right now is hard work and how I'm not really in the mood for joking around too much. It's like I'm catching myself from doing typical guy stuff and want to keep on reforming myself for the better. I'm starting to have so much confidence with myself and for the time being, I'm going to just keep on working at it.
I guess when everything is so crystal clear with this whole who I should pursue approach, then I will know when that moment is happening for me. Well, it's been pretty cool to have a to-do list and to check off and uncheck the same thing daily! Yeah, it's rather nice to be able to plan everything out and to review it consistently.
I'm just practicing with letting everything flow and want to keep on seeking after growing in my faith with Jesus. It's only a matter of time when I won't have my parents around, and it's like I've already fully grown up. It's really on me to flourish from implementing personal discipline and putting a lot of time into the things I'm interested in doing for a living. I can say that I feel joyful about where I'm at and how it's exciting to be working hard to aim for cool stuff. It's again all meaningless without having this joy in the Lord.
I guess when everything is so crystal clear with this whole who I should pursue approach, then I will know when that moment is happening for me. Well, it's been pretty cool to have a to-do list and to check off and uncheck the same thing daily! Yeah, it's rather nice to be able to plan everything out and to review it consistently.
I'm just practicing with letting everything flow and want to keep on seeking after growing in my faith with Jesus. It's only a matter of time when I won't have my parents around, and it's like I've already fully grown up. It's really on me to flourish from implementing personal discipline and putting a lot of time into the things I'm interested in doing for a living. I can say that I feel joyful about where I'm at and how it's exciting to be working hard to aim for cool stuff. It's again all meaningless without having this joy in the Lord.
Sunday, October 14, 2018
Accomplishing Things Everyday
I think the most important thing is for one to make him or herself available when the need arises to step up. My mind is totally fixated on how I'm so small in this world and not much of an attractive individual. I guess I'm scary in some respects to some people because I'm also considered crazy to a certain degree. I don't really have time to think about those things now. I want to be a joyful and peaceful person starting with my own heart and I have no one but the Lord to thank for that!
Receiving attention or being ignored is not really that big of a deal for a person who works hard to obtain a goal. I would like to be really consistent with what I have going now and it's just to earn a lot of free time to do things with social groups who will openly accept me and even find myself a loving wife. I'm just not caring so much about a lady's smoking hot appearance anymore! I'm looking for someone who has the personality I need in life now.
It's pretty cool to be a stable person these days and to not really worry so much about weird stuff that occurred in my past. I'm just really happy to have finally learned a few important lessons I needed to discover, and it's because no one in this world got it right correctly. Wow, it was tough to be stuck in that feeling of negativity with a lack of self-confidence. At least I learned from it and am recovered enough to move on from the incident. Oh well, it is what it is and I have to live up to my words to the best of my ability and being the most decent person I can be while working hard for nice things!
Receiving attention or being ignored is not really that big of a deal for a person who works hard to obtain a goal. I would like to be really consistent with what I have going now and it's just to earn a lot of free time to do things with social groups who will openly accept me and even find myself a loving wife. I'm just not caring so much about a lady's smoking hot appearance anymore! I'm looking for someone who has the personality I need in life now.
It's pretty cool to be a stable person these days and to not really worry so much about weird stuff that occurred in my past. I'm just really happy to have finally learned a few important lessons I needed to discover, and it's because no one in this world got it right correctly. Wow, it was tough to be stuck in that feeling of negativity with a lack of self-confidence. At least I learned from it and am recovered enough to move on from the incident. Oh well, it is what it is and I have to live up to my words to the best of my ability and being the most decent person I can be while working hard for nice things!
Heart Needs To Be At Right Place
I think it's just a matter of time before things start connecting together for me. I just need to keep on trying hard with diligence and to not lose too much focus with myself. The bigger picture is that we are all only human and for myself, it's meaningless with what I'm doing without being in the joy of the Lord. To get there, I need to do my fifteen minutes of Bible study. I guess in a way we hear the saying about a person getting his or her fifteen minutes of fame; and in a way, I wish to give those fifteen minutes everyday to worship God and try to understand the Bible from studying it.
Currently, I only want to stay focused now and to keep at it. It's making me happy to reach after goals and I'm just not worried about it so much about my exterior anymore. I think I'll do the best I can to manage it though because it's fun and no one can really know where he or she is going to get to. I'm only getting older and so I wish to stop spending my time so much on getting entertained and using it to invest myself in learning something wisely and reaping the rewards for it. For now, I'm enjoying with trying to live out my daily routine and resetting to try it again tomorrow. I'm planning things out and would like to put into action everything I laid out even if I feel worn out over it. I'm trying to get there.
Currently, I only want to stay focused now and to keep at it. It's making me happy to reach after goals and I'm just not worried about it so much about my exterior anymore. I think I'll do the best I can to manage it though because it's fun and no one can really know where he or she is going to get to. I'm only getting older and so I wish to stop spending my time so much on getting entertained and using it to invest myself in learning something wisely and reaping the rewards for it. For now, I'm enjoying with trying to live out my daily routine and resetting to try it again tomorrow. I'm planning things out and would like to put into action everything I laid out even if I feel worn out over it. I'm trying to get there.
Saturday, October 13, 2018
Excelling At Life
It's really nice to be a successful and decent person because I feel that a lot of people are into it but struggle to get there because of their personal issues that they have trouble setting aside or from being unable to concentrate on fully the requirements on time. I'm looking at the real world scenario these days and it looks like it's really scary in some way. I'm just another small person in this world, and it's meaningless. God of the entire universe totally encapsulates everything and is beyond even my own craziest imaginations.
Yet, I'm alive and trying to make a living for myself so I might as well put myself to work and effort to get good at it. This means that I need to spend a lot of time with the things I'm interested in getting good at for earning a living. I want to do something that's very nonconventional but at least it's not universally illegal. I'm not talking about selling anything bad or contributing in something that hurts the human race. I'm talking about using money to make money and being humble about my earnings and to accept any business losses while working hard to triumph with profiting much as possible.
I don't want to just focus on making money. I want to live and experience this world through traveling and appreciating different cultures and visiting beautiful scenery with the right partner in my life. I'm realizing it all depends on the person I meet and I can't wait on that person to change. I need someone who is already there and ready to experience it with me.
Making Sound Choices
It appears that a lot of it comes from being accurate of an individual as possible and accepting personal circumstances for obtaining some cool objectives! I personally think that doing everything on your own as possible and connecting with people you want to be around is the way to go. However, it's a lot of hard work and something a person just needs to get used to. Focusing on details all the way through and maintaining it consistently is tough especially if there's some competition involved!
I would like to not get myself too side-tracked anymore and pick up on a happy routine and just work hard for it this time around and to give my very best. I think that will make me happy in the end. I'm one of those happy who can be a little off sometimes and unreliable which is something a close female friend can make fun of me for. It's cool and it's something I would like to work at minimizing for myself so I don't have to backtrack and put myself behind again. I will have to practice a lot pretty much then. I want to practice living a life as a decent Christian who is under a lot of self-control and works diligently to be successful and maintains balance while still being single and working on myself and keeping my eyes open for the right lady to walk into my life.
I would like to not get myself too side-tracked anymore and pick up on a happy routine and just work hard for it this time around and to give my very best. I think that will make me happy in the end. I'm one of those happy who can be a little off sometimes and unreliable which is something a close female friend can make fun of me for. It's cool and it's something I would like to work at minimizing for myself so I don't have to backtrack and put myself behind again. I will have to practice a lot pretty much then. I want to practice living a life as a decent Christian who is under a lot of self-control and works diligently to be successful and maintains balance while still being single and working on myself and keeping my eyes open for the right lady to walk into my life.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Building Wealth And Its Possibilities
For myself, I'm starting to touch upon the power of analyzing a financial market after recognizing key levels of pricing and coming up with a systematical and logical approach to creating profit. We're talking about an art form that only 1% in the world have the privilege of making money consistently with after coming across knowledge from going through this very difficult process. I can see so much amazing potential with what this wealth and new found freedom will do from no longer needing a day-time job.
It's also rare for a person to be financially fit as well as being physically athletic at an elite level. They are attractive people for a reason and if they are sweet individuals, then all the more for ordinary peers to want to line up and conduct their positive endeavors with them. I'm talking about myself and how it's going to be like with having to filter out the good and bad ladies I'm interested in dating!
With having worked for financial freedom and a hot body, I can see that it will result in more privileges. I would like to stay humble about all of it throughout my whole lifetime. I just know it's going to provide me ample amount of confidence to raise a good family and provide for a nice and friendly household. It's from having invested at things the right way and beating out the bad thoughts. I honestly believe and agree with the Bible that Jesus is the way, truth, and the life and that no one can come to the presence of God except through him in our current world and will stay that way for all generations to come.
How does Jesus fit into a perspective of becoming a millionaire when it could be traditionally frowned upon by other believers? It's not about believing that God will bless me with financial riches by behaving a certain way; it's so wrong and I hate those churches who profess this ideology! It's from having freedom in believing upon Christ and that we are set free from our bondage in sins that we can have a refreshed mind and can do all the legal things we love and be successful at it while being a witness to the world that Jesus is real and loves all of us and wants a relationship. I just may be able to dig a little deeper in my Bible studies whenever I feel inspired to once I attain financial freedom! I can only spend like maybe an hour a day currently and I'm having trouble zoning in with time management issues and other stuff getting into my head. It's challenging, but eventually because my heart is for trying to live for the Lord, I believe that I will repent of all my sinful activities because I acknowledge they are and I wish to be right with God always.
It's also rare for a person to be financially fit as well as being physically athletic at an elite level. They are attractive people for a reason and if they are sweet individuals, then all the more for ordinary peers to want to line up and conduct their positive endeavors with them. I'm talking about myself and how it's going to be like with having to filter out the good and bad ladies I'm interested in dating!
With having worked for financial freedom and a hot body, I can see that it will result in more privileges. I would like to stay humble about all of it throughout my whole lifetime. I just know it's going to provide me ample amount of confidence to raise a good family and provide for a nice and friendly household. It's from having invested at things the right way and beating out the bad thoughts. I honestly believe and agree with the Bible that Jesus is the way, truth, and the life and that no one can come to the presence of God except through him in our current world and will stay that way for all generations to come.
How does Jesus fit into a perspective of becoming a millionaire when it could be traditionally frowned upon by other believers? It's not about believing that God will bless me with financial riches by behaving a certain way; it's so wrong and I hate those churches who profess this ideology! It's from having freedom in believing upon Christ and that we are set free from our bondage in sins that we can have a refreshed mind and can do all the legal things we love and be successful at it while being a witness to the world that Jesus is real and loves all of us and wants a relationship. I just may be able to dig a little deeper in my Bible studies whenever I feel inspired to once I attain financial freedom! I can only spend like maybe an hour a day currently and I'm having trouble zoning in with time management issues and other stuff getting into my head. It's challenging, but eventually because my heart is for trying to live for the Lord, I believe that I will repent of all my sinful activities because I acknowledge they are and I wish to be right with God always.
Tuesday, October 9, 2018
Staying On Track
I guess over these recent years, I was a really sensitive person while growing up. I didn't find myself enjoying the culture too much and from seeing myself as a short person. It's been brought up to me by some people, and they acknowledge me as the short guy but after a short period, they don't seem to care about it with me either! It's probably because it's all based on luck with the gene pool and some are just going to be too carried away with it I guess and no matter what I do, I will never be good enough for them. Also, success isn't really measured on how tall or good looking a person is. If a person worked hard for it or was just naturally gifted at something, then success is the vehicle a person can use to measure his or her own self-confidence and continue to adapt at any desirable rate.
A connection I feel about President Trump is that he's had a pretty successful run with impacting the country with his policies. Just look at a lot of angry people who are against his policies and how they happen with a strongly united Republican party! I honestly think it's a win overall for the country because it's about limiting spending to help save money and get business to boom again. With rich people benefiting from these tax cuts, they are the ones who have incentive to start businesses and hire unemployed workers, who are in desperate need for money in the first place. With a divided country on politics, it's been crazy how it hasn't started another revolution so I guess that's where venting comes in handy for civilized people and the country as a whole vote on their representatives, so they have to move with that flow.
I think women have had a huge voice lately and they seem to be so touchy about being heard and represented while wanting things to go their way! I guess it's driven by them caring about personal character and Donald Trump is probably not known for it in politics. What I believe about President Trump is that if a person goes against him and it doesn't go his way, he moves on and finds a way to still be successful and doesn't wait around a little to try to win his opponents' approval. He just doesn't have time for it with so many things going on to manage, and it's probably a habit he picked up on while working at what he loves to do and from applying his world-class education to make himself a billionaire. To have a person like that go after the most highest position in the country, I'm sure it wasn't about the money and he seriously wanted to change the country for probably ensuring that his progeny and ideal people he respects would have a better place to live in.
A connection I feel about President Trump is that he's had a pretty successful run with impacting the country with his policies. Just look at a lot of angry people who are against his policies and how they happen with a strongly united Republican party! I honestly think it's a win overall for the country because it's about limiting spending to help save money and get business to boom again. With rich people benefiting from these tax cuts, they are the ones who have incentive to start businesses and hire unemployed workers, who are in desperate need for money in the first place. With a divided country on politics, it's been crazy how it hasn't started another revolution so I guess that's where venting comes in handy for civilized people and the country as a whole vote on their representatives, so they have to move with that flow.
I think women have had a huge voice lately and they seem to be so touchy about being heard and represented while wanting things to go their way! I guess it's driven by them caring about personal character and Donald Trump is probably not known for it in politics. What I believe about President Trump is that if a person goes against him and it doesn't go his way, he moves on and finds a way to still be successful and doesn't wait around a little to try to win his opponents' approval. He just doesn't have time for it with so many things going on to manage, and it's probably a habit he picked up on while working at what he loves to do and from applying his world-class education to make himself a billionaire. To have a person like that go after the most highest position in the country, I'm sure it wasn't about the money and he seriously wanted to change the country for probably ensuring that his progeny and ideal people he respects would have a better place to live in.
Monday, October 8, 2018
Accepting Defeat Graciously
I see defeat as like not being able to allow a relationship to take off. I found someone on Craigslist to go on a date and she went out with me because I had something to offer. She had an attraction for my ethnicity already and was just sold on meeting me and took a risk to go there. After I talked to her and lifted her spirits on the first date, on the second date she ended up kissing me which happens to be my first for a girl outside the family who did that to me. I didn't feel any spark so I guess it wasn't meant to be for me. She then wanted to make out and yeah, I was like no way!
She ended up pursuing me, and it got pretty annoying so I learned not to do that to other ladies I feel an interest for. There was this one girl I really liked just for how she looked, and I wanted to get to know her personality more and she seemed like a great person, so it even piqued my interest a whole lot more! I started messaging her and asking her if she's busy and that I didn't want to bother her. I never heard back from her about it.
Oh well, when I pursue a girl, I'm really nice I guess and I don't hear those words of rejection. I'm like put on hold for some reason. I think it just means I'm not on her priority if she doesn't get back to me and it was hard to accept it in the beginning. I shouldn't have to wait on her and move on to another because she isn't the best already from having done that anyway. She could even look back later and reconsider, but I can make it seem too late for her and not even regret it! I wasn't thinking too smart. I haven't really found the right girl for me then yet. The right girl I'm looking for is someone I feel almost too darn good to be true but it happens to be and she just has those qualities I look for. She hasn't came around yet for me and I think she's out there. Is it really about just wanting sex in marriage for me whenever I want to with someone I'm attracted to and love? I think I need to figure that out before keeping my eyes out for the girl and to just laugh off the past with women who revealed themselves to be too annoying for me to want to date. I clashed at that old church and it's caused a bit of trouble, but from understanding where I'm going with in human nature and able to gauge their feelings without asking, I can just judge them based on their level of success with my high standards I can't even match at that moment and apply what I desire at that moment of interaction with them and work at personal satisfaction and focus on being diligent about monetary success and great relationships with other people. It's hard work and worthwhile and it's starting to come together at the age of 35 for me. I wish I was a lot younger and had thought about all of this back then. At least I feel more positive and hopeful then not while feeling some sadness at the moment!
She ended up pursuing me, and it got pretty annoying so I learned not to do that to other ladies I feel an interest for. There was this one girl I really liked just for how she looked, and I wanted to get to know her personality more and she seemed like a great person, so it even piqued my interest a whole lot more! I started messaging her and asking her if she's busy and that I didn't want to bother her. I never heard back from her about it.
Oh well, when I pursue a girl, I'm really nice I guess and I don't hear those words of rejection. I'm like put on hold for some reason. I think it just means I'm not on her priority if she doesn't get back to me and it was hard to accept it in the beginning. I shouldn't have to wait on her and move on to another because she isn't the best already from having done that anyway. She could even look back later and reconsider, but I can make it seem too late for her and not even regret it! I wasn't thinking too smart. I haven't really found the right girl for me then yet. The right girl I'm looking for is someone I feel almost too darn good to be true but it happens to be and she just has those qualities I look for. She hasn't came around yet for me and I think she's out there. Is it really about just wanting sex in marriage for me whenever I want to with someone I'm attracted to and love? I think I need to figure that out before keeping my eyes out for the girl and to just laugh off the past with women who revealed themselves to be too annoying for me to want to date. I clashed at that old church and it's caused a bit of trouble, but from understanding where I'm going with in human nature and able to gauge their feelings without asking, I can just judge them based on their level of success with my high standards I can't even match at that moment and apply what I desire at that moment of interaction with them and work at personal satisfaction and focus on being diligent about monetary success and great relationships with other people. It's hard work and worthwhile and it's starting to come together at the age of 35 for me. I wish I was a lot younger and had thought about all of this back then. At least I feel more positive and hopeful then not while feeling some sadness at the moment!
Becoming Successful With Class
I really like this idea of being a classy individual and not being swayed too much by people bringing you down. I will keep them around because they are like family, friends, or acquaintances but look for people with qualities I want to work with and even be diligent at being that type of person. Yeah, I'm looking for people who are like the best of the best and the ones who are the most decent out there in this world. It's almost near impossible to find especially because I haven't even got myself near there yet. I'm already 35 years old and I wish I had this mentality twenty years ago. I will have to settle and probably work double time to catch up and even accept all of those dreadful and scary feelings of being brought low from failure! I will have to play smart by not putting my money at inappropriate places and being humble with what I make. Sometimes, being short and sweet is probably for the best.
I'm just not really in the mood for being so funny today, but accepting while motivating myself with what I want to do. I don't know- I might still be funny with the things I talk about and take seriously.
I'm just not really in the mood for being so funny today, but accepting while motivating myself with what I want to do. I don't know- I might still be funny with the things I talk about and take seriously.
Effective Time Management
I think the idea of living out one's dreams is a total rush and I have barely scratched the surface with figuring out how I can get there. I'm 35 years old now, making a living as a programmer for my father's company, and I don't feel satisfied at all with it. My dad is a rather annoying person at times because of his anger issues, and we have clashed several times for me to end up out-yelling him and him not being able to do much while being helpless about it and having to call me his only son. I really don't want to rely on my earthly father for anything materialistically anymore and neither do I see his point of view with much agreement either. I don't want to associate with his qualities and branch off with doing my own thing. He is a stubborn, rude, and selfish person at times and I can't look up to those qualities about him except to acknowledge he is the leader of his company and my boss while having barely raised me as a parent from being too busy working. Those moments are actually precious and I wouldn't want to miss out on too many opportunities with my own kids, adopted or not! I'm just shrugging at the idea of marrying and never having my own children- there might be someone else's kid out there I could love as my own.
I would like to live my life with meaningful purpose and I think my main thing is to be happy with donating my money to highly deserving ministries and charities for attempting to help with furthering the gospel and to help those who are hurting and in need. Other than that, my life is just pretty much going to be like a hobby and even making money with doing what I end up loving. There's just no better way to explain it and it's from here on out to continue to effectively solve my personal issues and to manage myself well.
I would like to live my life with meaningful purpose and I think my main thing is to be happy with donating my money to highly deserving ministries and charities for attempting to help with furthering the gospel and to help those who are hurting and in need. Other than that, my life is just pretty much going to be like a hobby and even making money with doing what I end up loving. There's just no better way to explain it and it's from here on out to continue to effectively solve my personal issues and to manage myself well.
Sunday, October 7, 2018
Executing Plans
I have found out for myself that I like to be task-oriented and be fulfilled with having things to do. I'm trying to kill my habits of watching TV and over-indulging on things that I find are fun but not very productive. I guess I still have some more things to work on and to try my best at figuring out. Maybe some things make me feel like it's wearing me out emotionally, but I should be getting those things done. This is probably why having a to-do list works great for me.
I seem to work very well with a spreadsheet and list of things to do at my work station because I enjoy seeing that list go down. It's like progress made and life becomes easier to see it go down and feel like I accomplished so much already. I think checking off a to-do list of things I should be doing or want to do but is sort of a hassle or something I should limit myself in doing for time management, is pretty much taking it to the next level for me.
I seem to work very well with a spreadsheet and list of things to do at my work station because I enjoy seeing that list go down. It's like progress made and life becomes easier to see it go down and feel like I accomplished so much already. I think checking off a to-do list of things I should be doing or want to do but is sort of a hassle or something I should limit myself in doing for time management, is pretty much taking it to the next level for me.
Friday, October 5, 2018
Making Peace
I believe that what was making me so mad was not understanding how some people are and can't get over something to the point that they do something to tick you off. When you confront these people while trying to be nice and keep pushing it forward with no progress, they get really mad and will be triggered to act mean towards you like wanting to be a bully. It's crazy, but I didn't get it at the time. When I was triggered to feeling angry by them, I would counter with passive aggressiveness which drove them to be so insane with me and to be fearful about me.
The good thing about all of this is that my passive behavior wasn't too serious and it's only because I was having trouble understanding from being too angry to connect with the other person's issues and feeling too lazy to do anything about it. They were really angry and repressing those thoughts so were very uncomfortable also in my interactions with them. My passive aggressiveness triggered them to be crazy because they were in a vulnerable situation for trivial reasons and emotionally affected about it. It happens because we are all human!
The fact that I know all of this and that they were wrong in how they interacted with me when it comes to personal moral responsibility, it gives me the confidence I need now to not trigger them from being passive aggressive. If I'm direct and they are triggered then it means they are having trouble dealing with those issues and that's all it means, and I'm inspired by God to not continue making fun of them even though I could to make them suffer.
The good thing about all of this is that my passive behavior wasn't too serious and it's only because I was having trouble understanding from being too angry to connect with the other person's issues and feeling too lazy to do anything about it. They were really angry and repressing those thoughts so were very uncomfortable also in my interactions with them. My passive aggressiveness triggered them to be crazy because they were in a vulnerable situation for trivial reasons and emotionally affected about it. It happens because we are all human!
The fact that I know all of this and that they were wrong in how they interacted with me when it comes to personal moral responsibility, it gives me the confidence I need now to not trigger them from being passive aggressive. If I'm direct and they are triggered then it means they are having trouble dealing with those issues and that's all it means, and I'm inspired by God to not continue making fun of them even though I could to make them suffer.
Hard Work
Something I was miserable over in the past was how everything felt so empty for me. I just didn't understand the purpose of studying and how I couldn't get satisfied with anything I was doing. I would sit there watching TV shows and being bored to death but still hanging on to viewing what would happen. I really dreaded watching re-runs over too. I guess what I wanted more was a social life where I could freely be myself and learn the proper skills for connecting with others. I was so quiet even to myself that I didn't realize this social interaction with people and having so much fun was what I was longing for this whole time.
I'm now plugged in with a group of decent friends and able to ask them to hang out. I even get asked out to lunch or dinner by female friends every once in awhile and I'm relaxed about it now. I'm starting to make connections about things like out of the four girls I'm very commonly associated with, two of them are not very affectionate ladies in general for whatever reasons. They show signs of liking me a little though and I guess I could shoot them down when I'm not feeling it and get them to close up again. I would like them to be happy and hope for the best so I will be nice and encourage them to be truly who they want to be.
Overall, it's been a rough emotional experience for me at times. However, I don't need to sit there and continue doing something that bores me now especially if it's meant to be for entertainment. I don't need to rely on it and feel ripped off anymore. I could branch out from researching the web.
I'm now plugged in with a group of decent friends and able to ask them to hang out. I even get asked out to lunch or dinner by female friends every once in awhile and I'm relaxed about it now. I'm starting to make connections about things like out of the four girls I'm very commonly associated with, two of them are not very affectionate ladies in general for whatever reasons. They show signs of liking me a little though and I guess I could shoot them down when I'm not feeling it and get them to close up again. I would like them to be happy and hope for the best so I will be nice and encourage them to be truly who they want to be.
Overall, it's been a rough emotional experience for me at times. However, I don't need to sit there and continue doing something that bores me now especially if it's meant to be for entertainment. I don't need to rely on it and feel ripped off anymore. I could branch out from researching the web.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Earning Money With Humility
I'm trying to branch off with making money on my own with my style. Currently, I'm a few bucks in profit from playing online poker and yes, the site is legal in America. I don't want to encourage people to gamble and get frustrated after losing a lot of money to me, so I won't reveal which site I play at! I'm only playing for pennies and nickels right now and I intend to build it from that amount only into dollars and then hundreds of dollars. I'm only using a $50 bankroll and it came with a deposit bonus so I made about $100 in bonus from just playing. I took out that money and spent it on something I don't recall anymore!
I have learned quite a bit about my style, and I prefer to get out quickly as possible from the table after reaching my target. In like five minutes, I made ten nickels after betting one quarter on the online table and so I left. It's time to play the same way again tomorrow and keep building until I get hundreds of dollars and play for dollars instead! This way I get to learn the game and just not care if I end up losing money I earned from competing at this game. It's like a sport in some way and I even researched on the math and tendencies of how to play and there's like a winning habit to learn for making money consistently. It's been interesting and so I don't want to burn out with playing poker 24-7 and lose a lot of money that I played so well for in like five minutes each day. I will keep on playing this in and quick out style because it's fun and keeps the momentum building for me.
Another strategy that I plan to implement soon as possible is doing my own trading. I have always needed a professional risk manager to guide my hand and do the trading for me and pay him a little commission, but I have found disagreement in how all my ex-managers trade. They guaranteed profit on a monthly basis and when one says that, don't believe him! Don't buy any study materials at all and look for free information, but there's this one method I picked up on and paid a small amount for studying and working at by myself, but it's so ingenious that it works and I'm trying to find a great repertoire for it while profiting to myself.
Also, I just can't trade anyone else's money for sharing profit now because of the negative experiences I had with relying on others. I believe the person will be only thinking dollar signs and ignore the associated risks to trading, once I get good at it. I will have to explain to him or her my reasons and be like trade on your own and find your own way and use me for inspiration in that it can be done!
Monday, October 1, 2018
Starting To Relate
One of the most important elements is about being all there while with friends. I struggled from just not getting it back then and being so shy so I was dying underneath the whole time and feeling all this pressure to not in any way offend. Anyway, I ended up offending stupid and crazy Christians of all people! I'm just going to let them go and learn from my mistakes of just not saying anything about it. I tried to dodge talking to them about it while knowing I had to because I was so mad at them from being idiots! It really doesn't work out and then to go through all of this ups-and-downs-and-feeling angry approach on a daily basis and feeling like punching out even a therapist if I were to go and land in jail while trying to hurt that professional's career, so I didn't get any therapy for it.
I managed to get out of it finally! I have been preaching these things all the time and it's like the devil wanted to keep me from getting there because it would mean ultimate happiness in having a relationship with Jesus. It starts with full-on honesty and acceptance of everything that's happening. Next, it's finding peace within yourself about all of it and then working on it to make yourself happy. I honestly believe the best direction to finding true and everlasting happiness with everything that's been going on and to help with living out your dreams is to have a relationship with Jesus while getting to know him through reading and studying the Bible. I didn't get this verse for awhile but Romans 8:28 says that all things work according to the purpose of God. It's like when Paul went from being a psychotic hater of Christians to one himself and was thrown in jail for healing a mentally unstable girl in God's name and making business owners angry because she was their best fortune teller and now retired, God revealed for being in jail from having done nothing wrong, Paul would lead the prison ward to Jesus! God wants people to have a relationship with Him through believing upon Jesus.
Romans 8:28 says all things work accordingly so that means even the little stuff like getting mad at stupid Christians at that old church, Hope of God church ( what a name!) in Los Angeles, the city of angels. I even mentioned their names like Lee that crazy woman and she doesn't even do anything about it and thinking she's turning the other cheek or something. I don't know and I just don't care anymore; I now know enough to know they were wrong with how they went about it and trying to cover it up makes it go worse for them, so I think they were trying embrace it last time while thinking it's like some crisis for them- such idiots! Oh well, I'm going to let it go and this time, I know what to do if they ever try to attack my political career or something. Actually, I might even look more scary to them at that moment, so maybe they are no worries for me while thinking about it.
I managed to get out of it finally! I have been preaching these things all the time and it's like the devil wanted to keep me from getting there because it would mean ultimate happiness in having a relationship with Jesus. It starts with full-on honesty and acceptance of everything that's happening. Next, it's finding peace within yourself about all of it and then working on it to make yourself happy. I honestly believe the best direction to finding true and everlasting happiness with everything that's been going on and to help with living out your dreams is to have a relationship with Jesus while getting to know him through reading and studying the Bible. I didn't get this verse for awhile but Romans 8:28 says that all things work according to the purpose of God. It's like when Paul went from being a psychotic hater of Christians to one himself and was thrown in jail for healing a mentally unstable girl in God's name and making business owners angry because she was their best fortune teller and now retired, God revealed for being in jail from having done nothing wrong, Paul would lead the prison ward to Jesus! God wants people to have a relationship with Him through believing upon Jesus.
Romans 8:28 says all things work accordingly so that means even the little stuff like getting mad at stupid Christians at that old church, Hope of God church ( what a name!) in Los Angeles, the city of angels. I even mentioned their names like Lee that crazy woman and she doesn't even do anything about it and thinking she's turning the other cheek or something. I don't know and I just don't care anymore; I now know enough to know they were wrong with how they went about it and trying to cover it up makes it go worse for them, so I think they were trying embrace it last time while thinking it's like some crisis for them- such idiots! Oh well, I'm going to let it go and this time, I know what to do if they ever try to attack my political career or something. Actually, I might even look more scary to them at that moment, so maybe they are no worries for me while thinking about it.
Making Decent Strives
Because of the constant thoughts going through my head and how it's mainly about entertaining my poor and lowly self, I have decided to organize them into some to-do and buy lists. I have about four lists now and customized from taking a Google spreadsheet template and modifying it a little to my preferences. I am technically a programmer, so it wasn't very difficult for me to do something like that.
My mind is like all action from just all playing and being successful at it and getting by with what you have to do. Right now, I'm just starting off with playing like the junior professional league and learning my mistakes from aspiring to be good at what I want to do. Honestly with the ladies, I'm really not caring about their physical appearances even if I feel attracted to them about it. I'm not even a bit nervous now and I think it's funny to be short just that I don't want to shock too many people if they hear about me and think they felt I would have at least been normal in height.
It all connects in the professional, athletic world and having good stature in height is advantageous. I'm only cut out to be a wanna-be and will never be that great even if I work out so hard; therefore, it's me doing all of that for just fun and finding ways to improve my own game whenever I can put some time into it while being obsessed about it. I guess I'm working at becoming an alpha male and at the same time, I'm just not really worried liking some girls who have their own agenda or love life to work on. I prefer ladies to be happy and for me, it's just going to have to connect so at this moment, I really enjoy friendship!
My mind is like all action from just all playing and being successful at it and getting by with what you have to do. Right now, I'm just starting off with playing like the junior professional league and learning my mistakes from aspiring to be good at what I want to do. Honestly with the ladies, I'm really not caring about their physical appearances even if I feel attracted to them about it. I'm not even a bit nervous now and I think it's funny to be short just that I don't want to shock too many people if they hear about me and think they felt I would have at least been normal in height.
It all connects in the professional, athletic world and having good stature in height is advantageous. I'm only cut out to be a wanna-be and will never be that great even if I work out so hard; therefore, it's me doing all of that for just fun and finding ways to improve my own game whenever I can put some time into it while being obsessed about it. I guess I'm working at becoming an alpha male and at the same time, I'm just not really worried liking some girls who have their own agenda or love life to work on. I prefer ladies to be happy and for me, it's just going to have to connect so at this moment, I really enjoy friendship!
Uh Oh
I completely forgot about how I wanted to do a monthly thing and so it's a major fail! I worked at it and put in some effort but it just slipped off of my mind from having so much fun last weekend with some friends. I guess it's not really a horrible thing then. Blogging isn't really my priority. It's really more of something to help me stay on my toes then.
I guess I'll have to wait again next year to have a perfect session of trying to blog each month the number of days equivalent to the month. One thing that I have been pretty good about though is not missing out on the number of days per year. I have seriously averaged one post per day for almost the last decade and it's not a simple task to do. It requires some effort even if a person like myself is so obsessed about something and wouldn't have such a difficulty in making it come into fruition!
It feels like I disappointed some online crowd because my readership went from high to just dipping all of a sudden to a zero. It's pretty much life and things will constantly bring you up and down if it's about competing for people's attention. With this blog, it's even amazing I have some readership at all and that I have to be reminded of how I need to roll along with some punches.
I guess I'll have to wait again next year to have a perfect session of trying to blog each month the number of days equivalent to the month. One thing that I have been pretty good about though is not missing out on the number of days per year. I have seriously averaged one post per day for almost the last decade and it's not a simple task to do. It requires some effort even if a person like myself is so obsessed about something and wouldn't have such a difficulty in making it come into fruition!
It feels like I disappointed some online crowd because my readership went from high to just dipping all of a sudden to a zero. It's pretty much life and things will constantly bring you up and down if it's about competing for people's attention. With this blog, it's even amazing I have some readership at all and that I have to be reminded of how I need to roll along with some punches.
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