From what I believe the Holy Spirit has put into my heart, grace is given to the humble and shame will be brought to the prideful. Something interesting I recall from the past is that when I felt something was going so well for me, like when a person won me some pogs with a slammer back then, I would shout for joy and feel so happy and be like "Yeahhhh!" for awhile. It was infectious with making people who are usually calm and nice laugh.
The scary thing would be is if I'm expecting myself to win and be better than others and then look down on people. It would really make me want to slack off then with doing some more work and maybe struggle a bit more to stay the best. I know what it's like to be at the top after having put in some work that no one else was smart enough to figure out. It's not very serious like being number one of my classroom and maybe within top ten of the whole district. I have been so nervous about those things and wanting to fidget and spaz out but I would hold it in and not show it to anyone.
These days I'm trying to limit my personal amount of damage I'm doing while still single and nonchalantly looking. There's a girl I get along really well with and I have been seriously wondering if we are meant to be together, but she's split up a few times from ex-partners. I'm a little iffy about diving into a relationship with her, but our friendship reigns still supreme and more fun than ever. Maybe the attraction is mutually there, but I feel comfortable with us being joyful about having each other as great friends. I think to see something with this girl, I would need to have been in a serious relationship with another lady previously. I want to find someone who is a keeper, so I have been just lounging around and occasionally feeling out of it from repressing personal frustrations.
God's Word in the Bible mentions through living up to the Lord's promise, we will find true happiness and contentment no matter what the odds and circumstances are. There's no need to try to personally cheat the system but instead, it's better to find things to do that are permissibly fair and just and also with showing a lot of self-control and perseverance. Surely, there are people who have obtained favor with others and can do things that are inappropriate but others will feel the same way about those situations and stumble too.
I think I need to realize with discernment that I seriously have some emotional outbursts every once in awhile and do things impulsively. I don't do it 24-7 otherwise I would be called crazy and not be able to do my job and never get paid. I think with my loose and laid-back personality, I would like to chill out a whole heck of a lot more and not give into dumb substitutes when the Lord already had something for it. I will just have to be accepting with how lowly of a person I am and unable to do or look and act a certain way because it just isn't me and trying to follow attractive people who are into sex too far in a little will lead me to get no satisfaction!
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
