I think the idea of living out one's dreams is a total rush and I have barely scratched the surface with figuring out how I can get there. I'm 35 years old now, making a living as a programmer for my father's company, and I don't feel satisfied at all with it. My dad is a rather annoying person at times because of his anger issues, and we have clashed several times for me to end up out-yelling him and him not being able to do much while being helpless about it and having to call me his only son. I really don't want to rely on my earthly father for anything materialistically anymore and neither do I see his point of view with much agreement either. I don't want to associate with his qualities and branch off with doing my own thing. He is a stubborn, rude, and selfish person at times and I can't look up to those qualities about him except to acknowledge he is the leader of his company and my boss while having barely raised me as a parent from being too busy working. Those moments are actually precious and I wouldn't want to miss out on too many opportunities with my own kids, adopted or not! I'm just shrugging at the idea of marrying and never having my own children- there might be someone else's kid out there I could love as my own.
I would like to live my life with meaningful purpose and I think my main thing is to be happy with donating my money to highly deserving ministries and charities for attempting to help with furthering the gospel and to help those who are hurting and in need. Other than that, my life is just pretty much going to be like a hobby and even making money with doing what I end up loving. There's just no better way to explain it and it's from here on out to continue to effectively solve my personal issues and to manage myself well.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
