Yesterday, on what's traditionally a day of fellowshipping with other believers at a church, I ended up doing a gross activity that probably almost 99.99% of guys are familiar with. It's funny to mention it like this because I just feel like writing it this way. One thing I won't ever do is use vulgar language in my writing or speech with others. I haven't written out an actual cuss word all my life and sent it to someone to read. I've come close by using them in the form of **** but not actually typing it out for them to visually see all the letters!
It's my style which I think is sometimes weak because it's harder to flow when saying an expletive word instead would just bring out all that passionate energy, but I'm going to stick to my unannounced record of never writing the worst level of vulgar language which I don't even care to keep track of for anyone to read for rest of my days because it's worked out for me and can accept messaging someone that they suck works just as effectively! I guess this means I can be a pretty mellow person around others even when I'm feeling a bit short-tempered sometimes.
The reason why I went against my own preferred type of being close to living an asexual life while still single and looking for a hot, single lady to be with in marriage who will engage in a lot of it to make me do a complete 180 turn with my current lifestyle of abstinence is because I was wondering if my sexual functions are falling out. Let's just say, I wanted to see something about my body and it performed beyond my own expectations yesterday! I don't know if it can be analogous to doing a routine oil change which I took my car in for the same day! I'm more joking about that instead.
I think it's something to not really worry too much over and I think it's becoming more internalized and feel that looking at porn is just wasting my time to getting closer to what I want to truly imagine for my life. I should be putting my focus in that, so I definitely didn't give yesterday the proper justice of time management.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
