I think it just feels stressful with working on something and being so antsy about it coming together. It then becomes really easy to stop focusing on it and do something else that's fun to pass off the time. I really should be focusing on mainly my priorities, instead of just relaxing after work. I mean it's nice to be able to afford to do it, but I just want to do more to get ahead now.
It gets me thinking that depending on the day, it might be better to lay off of something in favor of doing something else because it will have a better return of satisfaction. Sometimes, being able to afford the luxury of watching TV because of something interesting like the World Series that finished last Wednesday was just too good to pass up. I still could have done something personal in place of it though.
I think I just have unique plans that don't really match up with others. Also, I haven't appealed to many from not reaching the top. To get there, I would really have to compete against other frontrunners and I just don't know how to naturally. It isn't that much in my interest, and I'm only it to satisfy my personal standards mainly. Overall, it really looks like I have a set routine that I could work with.
A friend has called me a regimental person, and I think she was right. It's something I did while feeling empty underneath because I was really pushing myself harder and not feeling anything for a little while. It's something I was accustomed to and would like to get back into again while feeling more joyful and sure of myself this time around.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
