For two days in a row, I have been experimenting with my sexual orientation of being straight and never having been with a girlfriend. My morals aren't loose enough to go find a prostitute. I don't believe in paying for it directly even though sometimes you have to take a girl out to a fancy dinner or pay for doing something fun or giving her a professional spa treatment or etc. Actually, I don't believe in fornication period. I want to do it while in marriage because I fear the Lord and the message that's preached in 1 Corinthians. I don't care what the argument is to do it while dating. It is in a way something really special to treasure with the right person you fall in love with and does mean more happiness, especially from having built up all that sexual tension and romance to finally consummate. It's just a beautiful and very enjoyable rite to look forward to in life! To have spent your virginity on some person who you don't spend the rest of your life with and having been the past, it's sort of cheap to be honest.
I have been enjoying getting off of looking at attractive females on pornographic videos, so even though I'm still single and a virgin, yeah, I know what's up! I don't literally masturbate either because of my vow to never do that again while not in marriage. I have another way of getting around it which I won't reveal. Okay, I'm definitely straight and not budging from it no matter what, even when I heard voices inside my head accusing me of being gay temporarily while going through puberty.
Actually, I have an asexual partner which is an open relationship so I don't really count it for anything with sexual activity except for doing platonic and highly fun things. Boy, it's a little annoying that she only wants to do her own thing sometimes and I have to follow along with it just because I come to terms with it and ease up and think what she's thinking might actually be fun in the end! I guess it really isn't cheating then even if I can say I'm not completely single and sort of committed to a special relationship with someone. It's not like I can't date others either because of our interesting asexual agreement.
Yeah, it might drive me nuts if I end up marrying this woman and she becomes my asexual wife! I guess I'm looking for a hot single lady who is sexually attracted to me, has a good sexual appetite, and happens to be a really nice person. I think that will be living with my dream girl, so I'm not really judging on race or specific body features she needs to have as long as I can feel something below there. A lady being really obese even if she's big everywhere else is just too much. Now, if this lady with the same big features is pretty thin, then now we're talking!
Overall, I'm going to have to work on being this ideal guy for her and continue to go around searching for this right lady to pop up in my life. I don't want her to be in the adult entertainment business either and not be a swinger, so those adult dating sites are probably not going to be my cup of tea. She's just going to need to show up someday and exchange proper chemistry with me. I'll be making myself ready for that day by continuing to work on myself with hard work and confidence. I'll be okay if she used to enjoy looking at porn, since I'm guilty of that. I intend to keep my eyes on this lovely lady's body most of the time instead of looking at porn when that day which feels like a little less than "Hallelujah" arrives!
