Strategy In Staying Awake

From having been with only four hours a sleep a night, it was obviously very difficult for me to stay awake for classes. From where I have been, it's not a wonder why I was always up like that- especially with the intensity of not getting much food and also moving around the body really actively to different places. Yeah, I basically lost weight very easily and it was not even fat camp for me!

One day, my body just finally got it together and I managed to stay awake for a very boring six hour class while having barely three and a half hours of sleep. I will share how I did this because this may actually help some people be successful at their career or school if they have those ambitions and have been frustrated like I was in falling asleep.

There's basically one thing- it's to not stress out and force yourself to stay awake. It's pretty much relax while knowing you are in a very sleepy and tired state. It's like don't strain your eyes and relax them while you sit there. Basically, hold it there and not fall asleep. In other words, I like to call this being half asleep. While the brain waves are sending the body a sleep message, your body is actually getting a chance to sleep and nobody ever notices your half-awake because you have your eyes regularly opened. While in this status, it is also possible to continue taking notes and barely be able to participate in a class lecture.

After awhile, when the brain waves keep coming and make you feel tired, if done properly you will feel rejuvenated again and you'll be able to conduct some things while fully awake in the day! It's like feeling that morning stretch after waking up.

Beauty of Knowing God

People in life all have their own personal worries. Without them, I think life wouldn't be a test with trials. I believe that sometimes we all must go through some relationship problems to understand what type of person we are. I think I'm a better judge than some people are like this one dude who I really wrote about to make him look bad by being absolutely honest. Hey, if a point needs to be made and if you want to make it hurt so much then just be honest.

Face it, people knowing facts have even had them get shot or assassinated! That's why the truth is so powerful because it has the power to dismantle walls that people up in a social manner. Those weird people told me that these girls were putting up a wall with me. Whatever. Those weird people is from that weird church all the way down in Los Angeles. Now, I can understand a church like that being somewhere close to Hollywood in California. Weird as they are, like the guy Jarred Taing and Golf the gopher and also former members like Chris Kuch and some weird ladies still attending there like "mocking-man, General" Lee, I am forced to love them for the weird kind of stuff they put out.

Here We Go Again, Same Old Stuff Again

I know life really has its temperaments and things are out there to distract us. Sometimes our lives are part of journeying into an abyss to finish an impossible mission. It's like we want to be a Hercules or a hero who stops the gods from ruining humanity. It's like we want to be there like Perseus and chop off Medusa's head and then marry the prettiest princess in all the fair lands. It's pretty interesting how she ended all chained up on a cliff so she would be sacrificed.

That being said, probably most of us wouldn't even be able to set foot on the underworld. I know I would- first off a person would have to be born to have those qualities and secondly, it just plain doesn't exist! Hades is a place that houses demons in the Bible, or it's another term for hell. The Greek god Hades is depicted as an arrogant, ambitious, and chauvinistic immortal who would stop at nothing to get what he wants. I'm sure there were times I was like that- just that I didn't possess those powerful qualities; I was pretty much like a rug rat and wanting to steal all the toys in the world. Oh well, live and learn.

People With Difficulties On Me

I believe that a person may sometimes have a difficult time in understanding others' point of views. For example, I think a major conflict that some people like to feel is that a person fails to respect the other person's rights by doing something they disapprove of. In the circle of friendships, I think we all have our own different tastes and differences. By not wanting to come to terms with some of these things, it surely sometimes leaves room for the person whose offended to be a sour loser!

The loser doesn't deserve to have friends because he just doesn't know how to handle himself really well when someone else is doing something that doesn't pertain to his life. I could remind the loser about this and plant it in his head that it would be the only thing he's feeling whenever he sees me.

Hello

Hi, I'm just typing something as usual. I guess I can spend time on this blog because I just like to write and I should show that I could be consistent and that I'm a safe person. I can be really blunt now since this is my blog. There are some things I still don't want to talk about for the sake of protecting people's interests. I would not want the complication of people coming up to me and saying that I damaged their reputation because I was not careful and put something on here.

Anyway, that being said, it's really something I'm going to disregard if a person does something to make me not want to side with them. I'll really mention about how I want to give them a hard time but I wouldn't really make it that obvious to them. I would just get under their skin a little and start telling them about it and just laugh. It really gets those certain individuals to not really get on me with anything. I am also not really caring about it that much anymore. There's really not that much worry and when I see it, I could probably influence and beat out a whole lot of people at once. 

Exercising Discipline

It's important to maintain discipline because it really helps a person get what he or she wants in the end. There are obviously short cuts a person can take and when it's really not moral and being done for fun then it sort of does mean being stupid about it. I think there are fun ways to obtain a person's needs- it just takes a lot of hard work and discipline to get there. Enjoying the fruits of one's labor is something that I believe the majority of young people don't really understand yet.

Keeping a balance with the self and coming to an agreement with a certain higher calling is something that I'm sure a person could will him or herself too. It's just that for whatever reason, sometimes a person just wants to ignore doing what's right and get evil towards others.

Not Liking Something

I guess everybody has their dislikes and if I were to listen to all of them then it might pretty much be analyzed and maybe some common answers might pop up. For myself, I think I'm at a level where I feel like I've faced so many frustrations already that I don't even try to go there and have my own moment because it really doesn't do anything for me. It's like just wasting more energy and not helping for me.

Overall, I'm going off topic because I'm just writing what's on my mind. It really takes some thinking to understand what a girl is saying sometimes for me. I'm a guy and just letting her words soak in and trying to visualize how it's holistic makes it a little interesting to see what she means. I guess in this fashion it seems like I could imagine stuff and completely invent whacky ideas or something that might make reasonable sense to the average person. When I do the later, it probably could become scary if I point out negative things and might encourage the unlucky person I'm examining to become paranoid and a sociopath.

Taking Advantage

I am realizing that it is not the worst thing with where I am at right now. It's pretty much about dealing with situations and not really caring about some things. Even though I feel like I've struggled over small things, it's still had an effect of helping me to grow. Putting together all these things and just coming to a reasonable conclusion, it makes it easier to stick to something especially when it's not supported by everybody.

My emotions are pretty much really stable right now. I honestly don't mind it if good things happen to me. By how a person acts against me, it just helps me to see that some things are just not really worth losing some sleep over. It's really going to be about letting things become squared away. Just getting over some of the worst things helps me to see that from a personal standpoint I really might need some divine inspiration.

The life I live right now can be really smart, exciting, and cool. I think there's this unique energy I've gained over all these years of mixing up hard work and trying to get somewhere I want to be in a legitimate and smart manner. Seriously, I believe that placing faith in the foundation of the whole Bible and using God's Word that is found on those pages really develops a resilient and gentle person, along with having him or her find a place in the Book of Life. All those seemingly contradictions add up to one big picture and it just shows that it's meaning to point out a genuine testimony which has stood out even through many prestigious and scholarly examinations. Just look for the best evidence that's out there currently, and you'll see what I mean with this whole Christianity thing.

How To Be Successful At I.T.

Basically stay off of drugs, period. Don't do drugs and maybe when dire circumstances or depressing situations occur for a person (for example, removing one's wisdom teeth) then maybe it's okay to pop a pill or two to go to sleep and being all drowsy at work. Personally, I think it's really a lot of gaining intuition and just not giving up at accomplishing something. It takes accomplishing a lot of small things sometimes intuitively to get to the final step to make it happen. It's like running through steps over and over again and then when I get stuck, I just want to shut down my computer and cry.

It's okay to cry even though I don't really cry like I did when I was ten years old. I hit the screen so hard to try to break it and it didn't break so I regret that moment as a kid. I then punched in a different command on the key because I acted like I was going to boss it around and then it started working again. I guess from then on, it's like from having those frustrated moments playing out all the time, it's about not giving up and enduring until getting to the last step.

I understand it because I've been there and done that. I now created a secret weapon which is like cheating on a test. I just google for stuff when I'm stuck and want to be lazy.

Important To Have Fun

I'm going to have fun by doing boring things. I'm taking these online courses for free because I'm a very special person. They prep me up to get certified in very cool things. It's very boring to learn how I can be adept at doing cool things. Oh well, it's really important to have fun so I need to put my time into it to get there. It's about making a wise investment after all.

I see myself really taking advantage of my position from being a special person. I may be short but I see myself as not an average short person. I have some features of a big person, so I'm not an average short person. Because of these big features, slightly younger females don't seem to be mind talking to me because I seem to look very stable and confident with myself.

Very Cool Mac Feature

It's really quite simple. I just place two fingers together on the mouse pad and then slide left to right or up and down and then the screen scrolls. It's really cool because when I place one finger on the mouse pad it doesn't do it. I don't have to do that annoying click and hold and then slide. It's like I never knew I could do this but since this Mac informed me, I'm happy about this knowing this convenience.

I placed this top-of-the-line Mac on the camera program and then made it look like birds were dancing over my head. The guys in my room thought I was on drugs and hallucinating- it was really funny. They thought I was staring at pointless things and claimed that I was brain dead.

Time To Catch Up

I guess when I have a little time because I am keeping myself busy and also have about 300 days left to make 365 posts, I'm going to catch up to my daily quota of averaging one post per day. It just feels like a lot right now and sometimes when I was ahead it felt like I was hardly writing but all-in-all averaging it out, it gets to one post a day.

I remember trying to catch up last year in my last 10 days which was really painful because my wrists started to hurt and also I felt like I was glued onto my chair and had a headache. Man, those are good times! Good times, good times. Yeah, it's good to think the glass is half full sometimes.

What I Learned

I'm learning that younger females don't really care if a guy like me is shorter than them. They just talk to me regardless of how short I look to them. These young people I'm surrounded by and even older people just tell me directly that I'm short and make it a conversation with me. My mind just blanks out whenever I hear it and it goes out the other ear. This is how other short people should feel too and act. I just don't plain care anymore, as long as I can drive a car and am big enough to lay a nice fist or kick in a sensitive area of an enemy then I guess I can learn to be content when it comes to survival of the fittest.

I was even asked out by a cute girl too today in the morning. I just woke up and found out she called me while I was sleeping. She then tagged along with me which was cool. I then parted ways with her because she wanted to do something and I was losing focus; I guess I can talk to her later because she seems pretty friendly.

Ready To Start Posting

Okay, it looks like I'm going to start doing damage again now with this blog because I'm armed with a new laptop now. Well, this laptop cost me only $1500 so I guess it is a pretty bad one because I paid so much for it. It's like it only weighs four pounds and has one of the best processors out there in the market, so that along with being a Mac I guess it is safe to say that it's going to be pretty reliable for the years to come. I think this laptop is going to be still practical after about 4 years. It only makes sense to purchase it for me because I'm going to take this baby everywhere I go and use it as a tool.

Another cool thing is that it's possible to turn this Mac into also a PC that could get potentially infested with viruses and then I'll have to switch over to the Mac side and stay there when it happens! I'll just click a button to delete the windows partition and start all over again. Actually, I don't know why I'm going to load up Windows when almost all Mac users know that Mac is a more stable operating system.

I guess it's okay to stay away from Dell now and go Mac while porting Windows onto it like a nerd. I actually like the Mac design, it's a pretty nice hardware and convenient too. For once, it's really lightweight and efficient in saving space. I guess I'm happy with this computer and going to be on a Mac craze now. It was just about taking the initiative to buy one of these expensive Macs.

What It's About

Right now it is really all about staying on top of things. I really want to just get everything done in an efficient manner and have excellence out of it. I guess I do not really mind the amount of time it takes to get there as long as I get some time off every once in awhile for personal things. 

A few months ago it was about staying par with a lot of details. Nowadays I would seriously like to get squared away while maintaining the highest level of integrity and discipline. 

What I have put myself through has seriously been a reflection of working towards achieving something. 

Getting This Whole Being Short Thing

It seems like it would be funny if I scored a sweet and attractive wife and then I made regular guys jealous. Like the first thing they would try to say bad is "Hey what is that midget doing with holding that girls hand?" Well I would have to say back "Good, there should be more of them like it. I will teach my craft to short guys only." Yeah it will be like overtaking the world and where tall people would want to become short. Also tall athletes would go broke.

Honestly it does not really have a lot to deal with height when it comes to me getting to know some females. The heck with it. Might as well make it work.

It is really about the ideologies that a guy has and what females may perceive out of him. I guess some girls are crazy enough to try to make it work out of their needs and just go for the eye candy they grew up thinking that was good.

If anyone really bases it off of appearances it can mean two things. A, he or she has an immature mind or B, the lady gets eliminated on my list of being that really wholesome woman she wants to be credited with. So in fact if the short person marries then the spouse might really be a strong, one of a kind, and considerate person. It works with both genders, although I would prefer a smaller female too.

Wow Do Not Care Anymore

I guess it is sometimes too easy. Am I tracking? Yeah. It looks like I have met enough beautiful people to understand a few things that really relate to me. Like for once I atm actually relaxed with talking to attractive women and there is one who is really sweet. She has asked me out a few times already and even asked me to go swimming with her- whatever that means. Yeah I am so relaxed and cool about it.

Hey I am short and have been told about it directly. I do not care and that is how every short person should feel. I still have a chance with marrying a beautiful person so why should I really care. At least I can work out and learn martial arts that suit short people better. I already have a black belt in something and have threa

Making Small Posts

I guess I am at it again. This time it is going to be meaningless for awhile until I get a new laptop to play with. Currently due to the sensitive nature K am involved in I understand the risks of maintaining this blog. Basically I am saying that I get to be mean in a fun and objective way.

Right now it is taking a lot of effort to make this post using my new Samsung Galaxy. It is a pain. I might even hold off to next month until I get my new ATM card mailed to me from back home. Hmmm I do not know if I should have revealed that. It takes discipline to use this stupid phone.

Doing the Impossible

Wait until I start getting attracted to taller people. It's like breaking a personal rule for me. Am I seriously going to end up marrying someone whose taller than me? I'm sure women don't mind if they are shorter, but I guess they don't put that much confidence in shorter guys sometimes. Come on, we could be on a similar fate so why not be okay with a switch a roo. I think there was a really sweet girl who is very sociable and amiable who thought I was cute, so I guess she was like a lot taller than me and didn't care about how I looked.

There was another girl who was really tall too and she sort of came up to me and looked like she enjoyed flirting with me a little. Okay, how does a short guy like me get lucky like that and still feel like being short is a curse sometimes? Man, I need to stop feeling stigmatized about being short! If I end up marrying a woman whose like 7 feet tall than I guess I become the hero. Laying side by side, I'd probably be able to level up to her then even though taller people lay longer.

It's starting to not really be of anything bad to me now. I have learned that it's not all about how a man appears to a woman, even though an attractive guy will stir up some of those feelings. It's mainly about how the man presents himself and makes himself appear very confident. Meaning, it's important to have clean hygiene. It's some sort of aura or presence in a guy that would make a woman fall pretty crazy for him. It's like a science, I'd have to say- I'm smart enough that I have a science/engineering degree, then it shouldn't be that hard for me to read between the lines of this grey matter.

Feeling Little Stuck

I'm going to just move quickly now. I think it's important that I get a normal workout before I begin the day a little late now. I'm pretty much going to have to pack everything and then get ready for tomorrow. I'm going to try to get everything that I can out of the way. After researching a little bit on how it's going to be like, I think I'm ready to move forward into putting more effort into better things.

It's really crazy how I've really awaken from being ignorant to things and just being able to move forward. Whatever happens now, it's about being patient anyway so I guess hopefully things will work out.

Missing Church

I've been skipping church for the last couple weeks. I've also been forgetting about praying before eating some meals. I'm seriously letting go of some things that I shouldn't have to focus on- the kind of thoughts that would really disrupt my relationships with others and hurt myself. I think it's really easy to go search for stuff on the Internet for visual sensations easily. It's basically not hard to tune in and watch anything, if the person really wants to. I guess that's why certain comedy sitcoms generate a lot of profit.

I guess I'm seriously becoming more accepting of things in that with the actions I'm taking, I don't really need to get all baffled and angry about stuff. The group I'm forcing myself to properly deal with aren't really that smart anyway. It's not like I can't establish great relationships and be happy most of the time without needing to be weird like they are.

I'm pretty much ready to make a proper transition with everything going well for me in my life now.

Last Day, Need To Make It Count

I understand how I need to pretty much not let myself get too carried away with things now. I also know how to torture some individuals without having any violent persona or any threatening appeal now too. I can also make this prolonged and have all that painful attention directed at themselves. That being said, I should be careful and not waste my precious time.

I'm going to have to deal with some really cold nights while camping, and I'm glad that I have some advice in how to do it. Basically just google, "keeping warm in a tent" or anything related. The only thing I was missing was not putting something underneath the sleeping bag because the ground was really cold. Other than that, I should be okay.

Making these last minute preparations isn't going to really be that fun, but I guess it's what it is. Okay, I'm glad I found some papers that I thought I lost.

Giving It A Whirl

I'm going to be gone again for a good part of the month so I might as well type up random stuff again before I leave. With the things that have been happening for me, I've been really occupied. Today, I realized that my little sister was just being her boisterous self and it didn't faze me at me. I think she likes to present authority by yelling a little bit louder than everybody else she tries to lecture. When I told her that I don't care about it, she felt a little dissed and felt like I was taking away her girl power or something like that.

I understand now her female personality. It's like letting the girl win in that area of speech. I pretty much felt like a gentleman by knocking on her door and asking her if she was doing okay. She kept on yelling at me that it wasn't funny and to leave her alone. I told her in a soft but audible voice that I'm a numb nut. I told her that she's right and I'm a numb nut. She started yelling and telling me that it wasn't funny and to leave her alone.

I then started rocking on my piano. I played the piano and sang the loudest that I could with the door closed. I played my favorite songs that attributed to something that would be rocking but have some sort of sweet piano rhythm. I'm not really that good like a pro- I guess it's very difficult to be that good and well-liked by a large number of people. I'm only told that I sound okay and not excellent or great! What I felt through hitting those piano keys and trying to reach those high notes was passion. I played for a good thirty minutes and nobody came over and told me to shut up with it. I guess it's really that unique for everybody else that I would have to be horribly terrible to have someone come over and tell me to stop. I think my dad told me to stop playing a few times, so I haven't really been without feeling insulted. I think it hit me hard and I started picking a fight with my dad when he did that once.

I think now that I'm a little better and just have been doing it for awhile; whether people like it or not, it's what I do now.

Happy New Years Day

Well, I'm realizing that getting somewhere in life is going to take a lot of work. I'm understanding that I shouldn't get myself too carried away with some things which might end up affecting my personal relationships with others or kill me. Therefore, I'm glad that having faith in the Holy Bible and using its principles is providing me some guidance in how I should conduct myself and to experience a lifting of my troublesome past.

Being at the state I'm currently in, it's like I could will myself to do nothing but positive things. I would still get yelled at by others for any reason, but it doesn't faze me anymore. I pretty much have a thick skin and totally believe in living out God's Word in a verse-by-verse basis. Praying is such a privilege and it really lightens the load when things seem entangled.

I feel like from what I've been through, people have emotions that could be manipulated enough to cause them to be influenced in a certain path. I understand it at a more important level now and don't really feel concerned about it anymore. My words can seriously cause a person to feel harm or safe- there's responsibility in making proper statements for a living.

Happy New Years Eve And Happy Happy

Happy Happy Happy, joyful, joy, shout again to happy happy joy joy, make a joyful noise, make a wonderful happy happy joyful joy to the world that you are just happy. Happy New Years! Hope you all open a nice bottle of champagne and enjoy the flavorful contents of it- I think some people understand my contents. I'm pretty much going to do the best I can right now to make it work the next year. I'm just going to probably be mean to that one group that I've been talking about the next year after. I think I'm going to be pretty much like getting what I need from that group by making them think they are supposed to be good people and out of fear of being exposed, they are going to do what I want them to do. And then I have what I need and don't have to care anymore and leave happy and joyful and willing to shout out a loud to make a joyful noise.

Hope the new year is wonderful for everybody, except for the group I'm going to be mean to.

2

Number 2, I think people know what it means to get the number 2. Number 2 gets to back up Number 1. Number 1 goes down and then Number 2 has to pick up the slack. However, number 2 is never really the leader of anything. You see, even Captain Pickard or Star Trek named his number 2 commander, "Number 1". We see in that one movie- what is it? Austin Powers where Dr. Evil's Number 2 was complaining about never leading at anything.

3

This is the number threeee! I'm getting very inconsistent with my grammar because I'm just being very lazy right now. I'm actually just writing anything. I'm not about to be inconsistent in my language choice. I could probably confuse some by starting to write in another language - por pavor. I don't know how to spell that word right now. I think I'm just trying to blaze through this blogging sensation that I have going for myself. I am talking out loud very slowly while I compose these sentences. I feel like a baby whose reading my own blog right now.

4

Oh man, I want to skip 4. I just want to go do my thing. I want to let this thing for the whole year. Man, I feel so glued to my chair. I'm complaining right now about doing this. This is so inconsiderate because I'm not spending my time on other things that I should be doing. This is taking awhile, this is taking so long. I really need to get out more. I think I've been coming home the next day for quite some time. I'm outside and then when I'm coming home, it feels like the morning has already begun sometimes.

5

Oh boy, it's 5 and I hope that I will dodge more bullets coming from the Enemy. I don't want to deal with big problems. I have so many small problems and I'm so happy I can manage them now. I don't want to go off and just get lost in a huge problem. I think all my problems just put together just make like an infinite amount of small problems that I can cope and fix. I'm actually thinking that my problems are solved by having feelings of not caring sometimes. It makes it easier to work at things more swiftly at times.

6

Six is considered to be not a very sacred number. It's considered to represent the devil if you add it by 660. I'm not going to put down the demonic number right now but I can state that in a game of poker I had a set of 6s before to make my hand and win very big. Therefore, I don't know if I can state that the devil was working for me during that hand.

Unlucky number 7

I think some people think 7 is a very lucky number. Unfortunately, it's not. Happy New Years and hope everybody makes a great resolution.

8

Eight is a decent number. The eighth birthday is coming for my baby cousin Kevin. Oh my, Kevin is really big for his age. I thought he was about two grades higher which would make him in the second grade right now. When I was a second grader, I thought my age would never end. I thought I was going to be stuck at school for eternity. Therefore, I stopped doing my homework sometimes and just go out play. Afterwards, I would feel bad for not doing my homework. It's great that the homework assigned only took me about a couple hours at most.

9

I'm just going to finish out the year by using numbers for my title. I'm just being really fast and random here. I just don't know what I'm saying because I'm typing so fast without thinking. Yes, I don't have carpal tunnel syndrome or whatever that arthritis type of condition it is. I'm going to rest my wrists and put it on the neutral position. I was at the doctor's office yesterday and read that you can put your wrists on extension or contraction and it looked really funny. I think I walked around with extended wrists before and acted like I was a zombie. My little sister probably just saw me with her bloodshot eyes and ignored me.

10 More Posts

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ... I'm ready to get out of here. I'm ready to go use the bathroom because I need to really unload some food I had at three in the morning. I already shaved and I have pretty decent warm clothes on. I'm also driving somewhere to pick up my buddies and we're going to party and not drink and kill  ourselves.

11 More Posts To Go

Man, I'm typing so little. I'm only typing a few sentences right now and it's equating to very little paragraphs that I'm posting today. Hey, this is a loose ended, conservative blog. The only thing that I'm trying to control here is my use of language because I want to make this site G-rated. I think I can still laugh even though I can't share some inappropriate things to the world. I can probably hint at it in an adult way and then start laughing pretty hard about it to myself.

Quck Post Counting Backwards from 12

It's almost there. The famous countdown from 10. I'm doing it on this blog just that it's not really 10 seconds. It's going to be ten posts. I'm just typing random again and it's going to take me a little while to finish this but I'm going to get this thing done.

Lucky Number 13

I was told that I was lucky number 13 because I fell asleep at a safety meeting at a military installation. The thing was about driving safely and not being under the influence of alcohol or drugs. It showed some gruesome police photos. There was a really pretty F.B.I. agent or something like that who attended and started talking about how I would have to see her if I got in trouble. With a million dollars, I think people would try just about the weirdest things. However, soldiers don't get paid that much. That being said, most of them want to good little boys and girls and serve their country. No, they want to be the strongest, disciplined fighting force in the world and be very cooperative with one another and really function at making a good purpose.

Countdown to 0

I'm at #14 now. Okay, I think I can sound like Chewbacca. I know anybody can, especially the guys and some girls if they tried. I think if they made the Chewbacca cry then others would sort of want to laugh after identifying what it is. So let's out a Chewbaaca cry. I'm going to do it right now while I type this sentence. Grrraaaawwwhhhh, it's like Homer's growl when he wants to do a playful assault on Marge. Note, I'm trying to keep this thing G rated still maybe some people will smack their foreheads.

15 More Posts

Yes, I'm closing in now. It's like doing the countdown to the New Years. I'm not typing that much right now because I don't have that much time. I'm pretty much rephrasing everything that's going on. I think I'm just going to type really random stuff and hopefully some of the things I come up with will make me laugh.

Happy New Years Eve Everybody

Happy New Years Eve, everybody! I don't really have much else to put. Hope everybody has a Happy New Years. I wonder if someone is going to be smooching. I know where I could go to get some smooching too, but I guess I will celebrate a little cleanly today.

Almost Really Finished

I'm feeling pretty good man. I'm feeling good about closing out the year. I have to go somewhere really fast. I don't like how I'm really dedicated to this blog with having to average a post one per day. I was gone for about two months so I had a lot of catching up to do which wasn't really fun. It was more like work but I'm not getting paid for this. I guess I can call this charity work.

Almost Finished

I'm going to have to do this really fast because I don't really have that much time. I'm going to pretty much make this what I said I would do. I'm going to see the stuff I come up with and then finish out the year. It's going to be not much because I don't really have that much to write about.

19 More Posts

Oh how I wish I was 19. I would do something about some things that I should have done. I would pretty much make life more happier for everybody else. I would take some sort of risk in the right direction and end up successful. It would be a risk then but then fast forward to today- it was a wise investment. Maybe, the things that happen in life are meant to occur and bring down people you know.

After making a reflection, it's an okay time to think about something sad. It's okay to let it linger for awhile. It's good to reflect on emotions all the time, but when it's time for chowing down on food- man, it's time to eat like an instinctual animal. Chowing down on that food really fast and then leaving the table makes my mom go like "What the freak?"

Okay, it's reflection time- putting a sad frown on my face. I just feel sad, but empty. There's something I'm missing in my life. I want to bring down that group- I don't care if they turn into killers and shoot themselves. I'm not going to assist them in anything, so maybe they'll just scream and slap each other a few times and then run out the door and come back the next day and repeat the process all over again.

Doing The Weird Smart Thing

I'm so good at it. Period. I'm at least okay at being smart in doing some weird things to people. I have made a judge laugh so hard before, I think. It's either a dream state or it really happened. I just don't recall so much. I think I was so worried about being in trouble but then it ends up with me catching a break because maybe my face was so concerned about stuff that during the stress, I managed to catch enough things about myself to end up with a satisfactory appraisal.

Or maybe, I just worried so much and show it that people just don't pay attention to me and I'm like there in existence as some sort of mythical creature to them. It talks- me. It eats- so much that I forgot what he had. I'm trying to talk like a third person and reflect on myself. Really weird I know.

What Is An Inferiority Complex?

I have a question- I don't know if I have the symptoms of an inferiority complex. Just because I'm asking, does it mean that I might not? The reason for me laughing at my own insanity and craziness and resorting to how people feel about it- does that mean I'm aware of having this complexity and still engage in it like a fool? I sure hope not.

I guess I have the minimum prerequisites for this complexity. Yes, it's like taking a college class for me- I'm trying to dissect it down into something palatable for my soul. Oh well. I didn't mean to be born with this acute sense of how things might be going good and bad sometimes. I just had to get rid of the haunting spirits like the one found in The Christmas Carol. Man, those ghoulish creatures were so haunting and moaning the whole time. Hey, at least they were not bad as Scrooge was when he was a miser. It's because I think it's easier for people to know a Scrooge in their life- like that little kid who wants to keep his power ranger toy and not share it. Hmm, I wonder what toy Chris Kuch enjoyed and wanted to be stingy about.

What's about with me being lame with Chris Kuch? Is it about me wanting to do some hanging with Chris Kuch? I'm sure he would be enthusiastic about seeing my face even though I feel like I would project it a thousand times more. Chris might want to say, "Yeah, multiply zero times one thousand." Okay, then I say that it's a possibility but logically speaking, I'm enthusiastic so his pipe dream has to be over.

22 Now, Patience Is Virtue

Patience is the key to success. I have a lot of patience now in addition to not really caring about some things. It's all about hard work man. It's all pleasing the soul and heart and worshiping the goodness that is provided in nature. As cheesy as that sounds, it's good to laugh out loud a little. A few times I bought some gifts that I thought were funny for some girls and they ended up thinking it was very cute.

I need to be very careful with that discernment however. I shouldn't really pick on anybody. I guess gifts are a different field where people get to be all bubbly and playful. When I smile about something and start laughing then I guess it's initially a big worry.

Man, those people in that group are really in for it. The thing is that I have time frame where I need to wait another year. I'm a year ahead of schedule. That means I get a whole year to plan very hard and come up with unexpected and useful things to knock them off their shoes. They're probably like "Oh great!" I'm really happy for them because I'm feeling a lot of enthusiasm on my side.

23 More Posts To Go

23 is a lucky number for some people- it's the lucky number that made my good friend win some money at a roulette table. For some people, it represents six championships and could have been more if the player didn't take a break. He says the best team in history is the team he played on- that is a lot of confidence he has in that team especially because it seems like he did most of the scoring and allowed everybody else to slack off a little. It's a small joke I recall from my childhood memories so don't take my words for it.

I don't recall the things I said today that made my little sister laugh. She just called me inconsiderate a couple times and that raised up a red flag to me. She told me to sit somewhere else but she does do a lot of talking these days- she even thought she could teach me how to do math better. I thought the accepted stereotype is that guys are better at math than girls in general. I guess that could be true because guys like to get serious with money so that requires crunching some numbers to figure out logically how to be breadwinners.

She didn't laugh at my cheesy lecture of how to do binary math. I told her that it was for geeks but would make anyone think "Duhhh!" Even if I can't get there and I do it half-minded or half-baked, I'm still going to get there whether people don't like it or not. Because that's when I'm the most nervous sometimes and not aware of how people see me and then they just go "Okay, wow" and just act all stunned. Maybe, it's my facial expression and their expectation of me to be a certain way but I just amaze them with where I'm taking something so they can't even see me in their gossip pool anymore.

That's what I'm pretty good at doing and I'm going to accomplish it. So the people who are affiliated and reading with that group, I'm going to accomplish something that I've always done in the past. This time, I have a strong tool which is not needing to ever raise my voice or be angry and literally make fun of the other person. In addition, I can provide thoughts that would seem like advice but in actuality, it would make them feel so ticked off that they would act like they can't see me around them.

Bashing Thought Processes

I'm so good at being aware of this whole people being naughty towards me that I don't really have to yell to get my point across now. I might feel a little bothered by some things I listen to, but I'm laughing at the same time with those things too. After all, people are going to have to learn anyway to go somewhere in life. After all, jerks are people with feelings too and they fall big and get laughed at. I might think someone is the biggest jerk and be laughing all day about it like Chris Kuch. I just put down a name- he's a Texan bonehead. I don't think he would make Texas proud from what he did. Maybe his wife would even laugh a little too. Hey, love is strong! The thing that is funny is that it's him in a bad way.

I'm so used to bad things happening to me in these little things now. Man, I don't want to deal with the bigger side of things. I want to stay bothered with these little things- I just feel so comfortable being able to manage them now. Just not caring so much about some things doesn't mean that I'm always going to be a cow that walks into the slaughterhouse to get chopped up.

Man it's late. I don't know with what I'm saying, but it's getting me to chuckle quite a bit. I actually can transfer some of this to my smaller sibling who used to be like an annoying rival to me. I realize that when people ask me if I have a girlfriend or family to take care of, it's because they literally think the possibility of me having one. It's not just that they want to mock me or make fun of my short height. I've felt so defensive about my physical height, but it's gradually becoming less of a worry and when a tall lady smiles toward my direction, I don't feel so weird about it anymore.

How Long Am I Going To Stay Up

Honestly, I don't really know how long I'm going to stay up. I've found something that I could keep occupied with and it's doing this pretty intelligent activity. I don't know who wants to come on this blog and read my stuff. I don't know for what reasons, but just to guess it's probably because people want to see me blow up and laugh at the comedy I come up with or just try to keep up with what I'm about to do because they're so worried I'm going to hurt their cause.

I've always seen it as, I have some deficiencies. Well, for once, I'm really short. I'm glad some of the other young soldiers were able to spot that right away and actually give me special treatment because of it. Like, I don't really have to do extra physical effort to lift stuff- just have to move fast and get aligned with the program. This is what is done in a team and a mission.

In a way, I sometimes feel like it sucks to be short but then again, I'm learning to embrace it a lot more now. It was uncomfortable for me and sometimes bugs me a little, but the feeling is going away for me. Maybe, I bought into a new theme of a Napoleon complex. It requires me to do absolutely no yelling and just talk. The talk can be so bothersome that people will accuse me of having something like that. Yet, I'm so confident at the same time that I could act like a legitimate tall person whose also a jerk.

Whether height matters or not, the issue has to be the heart. For some reason, because height matters to me- I sort of want to discriminate against taller woman to be honest. Maybe, I might feel a little pain if the woman is attractive but then again I'm like "What the heck, it doesn't matter" when I'm in that situation. I view myself standing next to her and play around with the image of how we might look on the outside- by judging at a superficial level, I haven't found anyone I have liked so far. Actually, I thought maybe a few seemed right to me but they were already married. It's a little easier to compare when she's standing next to an actual guy.

Oh Man, What A Drag

I wish I could steal my little sister's Galaxy Tab and go online and just type something on this blog. It would have charged me something. My little sister might have asked me for an arm and a leg. I was the money provider throughout the vacation. I don't know- walking around fully loaded in cash might not always seem like a good idea. I'm like an ATM for loved ones then. I see what it would mean being a dad to like female triplets. Growing up with them, I could imagine the pains of listening to them just talk, talk, and talk about things - details that I never really wanted to think about.

Don't mind my bantering now of people and calling out people's names and making fun of them to pass a little time. The one thing I need to be careful of is how I present the truth. What I said in the past was honest, but I held back the Stone Cold Stunners because I wanted to be nice. It didn't get them to cooperate, so I got to see the selfish ambitions of some people. I already know how to control them; I knew it long before they did and I could have slaughtered them.

The reason why I didn't was because my heart was just sick and tired of doing it as a routine and not receiving the attention I was craving. Yes, I wanted to be talked to. They talked alright, in a really mean way but I got to listen to them talk and I had a thick skin underneath. If I have a thick skin, why am I writing about it and still going at it. I'm like an energizer battery- I just keep going once I start something until the mission is completed like a soldier's will.

Life isn't that bad- I seriously don't mind being laughed at for anything. I don't mind being yelled at about anything. I don't even mind people trying to force me to do stuff for them. I just don't really care about it. I love people- some I love to death way more than others. I'm just so aware of my surroundings because my eyes have been opened. I want to shout with tears of joy right now. I'm just so rejoiced about everything, and I'm giving this all credit to Jesus who reigns in heaven. I'm sure if I said some blessings, some people would shut up and not think like it; that's how big I'm aware of people's thoughts. I just know that I have to be humble because I can discern how a person is going to behave and not be afraid about it anymore. I'm a soldier whose completing a mission, and I'm not stopping for anybody in my path to serve the Lord I have chosen.

Fully Alert And Ready

I'm so glad that I'm so conscious about my behaviors. I can see that I can open any door I want eventually and receive the form I intended. I would be doing a lot of bugging but I would at least get the person to say that I can get along with him and wish it were so with anything certain and accommodate me in that manner. I can do this with anybody now. I just wish and hope and pray that I don't get led to anybody whose really a bad person at heart now.

It really doesn't matter what they did, and it doesn't really matter what I did. I just know that I can keep up now and literally kill the competition. My prayers are to also hope that the people I affect don't get super damaged by me because I'm going to go full out on a social onslaught. I know exactly the angles I need to attack to bring down social barriers and walls.

I know I'm smart in this area which is probably going to be a headache for everybody else who wants to be against me. I'm so confident and understand what's going on. I'm so excited and thrilled with what this means to me now. Man, I need to work out. I'm so conscious about it that I know I need to work out.

Earnings I've Made

From maintaining this website, in a matter of 3 years, I've earned fifty cents. It's better than the expected two cents I was originally counting on. I guess I can just state this website doesn't really cost anybody anything so that is a win-win situation for everyone.

If I were to treat exercising like a paycheck, then I can make an analogy that I earned more dollars in my wages in comparison to amount of push ups I've done. If I make the analogy of doing push ups as making dollars, from making $25 I'm now at $46. It's not bad, considering that I increased by three repetitions after coming back for vacation. I guess I got a little stronger which isn't that bad. I think some people would be like hoping that I stop doing push ups or claim that what I'm doing is very scary to them.

However, my push up count really sucks much like possibly their amount. In the U.S. Army, there is no number of push ups that will make you stand out as the ultimate athlete, except if the athlete is female. This one female athlete in the army can do at least 100 masculine push-ups in two minutes which is insane! For all the other males, it doesn't matter what number they reach- they are still close to being a turd in basic training. Even the narcissist with a kiddie brain I spoke to started measuring up to the fact that he would have to respect a female drill sergeant- nothing like threatening he won't get paid does the job. In fact, he started adding in how he would impress them after telling him that they don't care about him and nothing would make those drill sergeants get involved in some sort of scandal with him.

How I Have To Keep Clean and In Shape

It's really important for me to stay clean, healthy, and fit. If I don't, then my body is really going to suffer especially with the place I'm going to in the next week-in-a-half. I really need to get back into it because it's not really a lot of time. I have something that I need to work on to improve my efficiency in staying awake. I guess I'm going to do this and make myself used to it while engaging in some low-level intensity stuff because it's really going to put me to ultimate test in having to stay awake.

Just making my bed right now, it actually makes my mind feel good. I think it's just something I'm used to seeing back in my army camp. I think I'm going to brush my teeth now. Okay, I need to keep typing random stuff on here; despite it being Christmas, I feel like going out to work out.

Planning Boring Stuff Again

From being part of the military, I've learned that every single thing I do has a purpose to accomplishing something. Whether it be me being punished for being a bad solider or not, I'm still aiming at reaching the prize which is completing the mission. I've made some mistakes and been punished for them in the first week of my training, and I guess the saying goes that it's normal. I want to really be a good soldier so I'm going to be sacrificing quite a bit while being a part-time soldier because I'm part of the U.S. Reserves. It's actually a little joke because I'm not a full-time soldier where I'm active and stationed somewhere in the middle of the U.S. on a desert. I'm actually going to be stationed pretty close to my home, which is convenient.

I shouldn't screw this up, so I'm going to get myself a second job. I wonder if people get the little inside joke that I am alluding to. By being part time, I only work during the most odd-ball hours which is just one Saturday and one Sunday for the whole month. I get a pay check for just working two days; man, I signed up for it. I'm going to get another job in the civilian world which is allowable in the Military Code of Justice.

Boring Stuff I Need To Go Over

During the holidays, I guess some people like to wake up, have breakfast, and go get their life over with. I can't say that I'm not one of those types of people. A few things I should be watching out for is to make sure that I haven't lost my normal routine because if I mess myself up, then I'm going to have a hard time again. I need to make sure that I'm still living this maintainable life without screwing up anything. I guess I just need to place energy and get used to this whole freedom and going somewhere I'm supposed to be placing myself in destiny.

I'm going to try waking myself up during the middle of the night and stay up for an hour because that's what I did in training. I'm also going to wake up a little earlier and work on managing my sleepiness. If I have a lot low-level intensity activities that I need to work on and if I stay awake to all of those, then I guess I won't have any problems staying awake when the drill sergeants push my sorry self and make me run around and do a lot of crazy stuff for them.

Laughing at a Good Point

It's really quite easy for me to want to feel frustrated and blame it on others. What if I resonated with this Napoleon complex because I am short indefinitely and caused others to live miserably while I worked so hard to prove a point against them and actually succeeded. Well, for once, no matter how good of an advice or idea I would come up with, people wouldn't want to listen to me because they would just feel so baffled by how I obtain that kind of knowledge. They would probably want to laugh at my shortcomings as well underneath and not spend so much time criticizing my behavior at the same time. After all, if I'm working so hard and driven to surpass them and at the same time I do stuff to push their buttons to ensure everything gets put in order then they're probably going to see it's my personality and accept it.

Therefore, that whole paragraph should mean that it doesn't matter how small or short a person is. It doesn't really matter if people want to marry tall people and just pronounce it to this whole world. I do have some confidence in that at least I carry average appearance or maybe a little better so I'm not bothered. I'm just short and if I just proved that being short doesn't matter then I guess I don't care if others look at me as a baby now for being so small to them. I don't feel offended at all about it anymore and don't even care if it affects me from getting a position. If a company takes a tall person who can't get his ABC's right and I'm right there besides him, what's the point of really caring for some status that is only going to be short-lived anyway.

It's really all about obtaining what we desire, right? If the heart is so set upon getting to its destination and we're doing everything right then what's there to really self-doubt. There's really no need to be frustrated, and we get to stay strong. This type of confidence can't be obtained just from seeking a person's outer appearance- it's something that develops over time and can be found in anybody. I've even heard of tall-loving people falling for a small person or dwarf, so it's actually not that big of a deal. There are bigger worries in life, then just looking at a person's size- we're not cannibalistic, meat cutters so why care how much weight they carry around.

Temperature Dropping, Hands Shivering

The weather has been a little unusual for me. Being in the south-east coast of the United States, I was expecting it to snow and be freezing below 0 degrees Celsius. I did get to feel that type of weather in my one-man Army tent. It was very cold, and it wouldn't matter how much extra layers of clothes I put on; sleeping in that weather was not very fun at all for me. The only difference is that it was cold, but I never got to see snow. It did rain and my boots felt like they would freeze. I now see how having dry clothes and a good pair of boots actually helps. It's also important to keep them from getting wet- in war scenarios, keeping dry would be a challenging task in the snow but ensure survival.

I guess the Army is a place where everything moves along and can't afford too many distractions. In the civilian word, I would understand about some issues the soldiers have but when I'm in that uniform functioning as part of a team, I seem to get really annoyed about listening to them. I just want some common functionality and efficiency of tasks to take place; I can see how I would be really intense and not accepting of hearing some complaints from soldiers.

The Army is like a world of entering commitments and fully engaging the self to complete a mission. The soldier I was annoyed by was a complaining woman, but I didn't see her as a normal woman at the time. Since I'm on break, I'm just capable of alluding back to it. She just kept on complaining on how things were so hard and how the weather was too freezing for her. I think she really lost in touch with completing the mission we were called upon to do in Basic Combat Training. In reality, she is pretty normal and a normal person will be able to sympathize with her but she was not a normal soldier because I would really want her to be an efficient team member who would be able to look for me too.

I was really into the training- it was about executing everything perfectly and paying painstakingly close to every detail I did. I wanted smooth execution and to be fast at everything I did. Changing into combat uniforms from regular pajamas is not really easy to do rapidly, the best I've done is only ten minutes. I think the only time I really did change my clothes was when other battle buddies brought up that my uniform looked dirty or smelled. I would then change the next time and make myself clean again while doing laundry. Everything I did was about self-maintenance, the kind that would drive a decent housewife madly in love with you.

If the Lord Be Willing

If the Lord be willing, may the people I care about and those who have come to that stage of sorrowful enlightenment which makes them turn towards Him, never fall again! I just know that if our hearts are in the right direction then most likely, it's a reflection of how we were made to do beautiful things no matter how misled we were or bad lifestyle we concocted for ourselves. The beauty in Christianity is believers acknowledging the truth about their personal state and being filled with something new, peaceful, and joyful to carry out living a guilt-free life from knowing they are no longer in a sinful bondage and have obtained salvation through placing their faith in Christ. It really causes some to feel jealous or still scorn them- like Christians are a bunch of some goody-two shoes or hypocrites.

The heart of the matter is that it's a choice for anybody to really accept it in his heart. The spirit of Christ won't force its way into anybody's heart but lie in wait for anyone willing to seek his guidance. Maybe this doesn't make sense because to some people religion is dead! Pretty much, I have come to accept that despite the Bible being so hard to understand at some parts- there are those givens that really fill the heart with gladness and inspire believers to live a good, purposeful life after having fallen. It is the right of Man to practice any religion he wants; why should some religions be so belligerent about it and obtain death decrees on some motivated Christians? It just seems a little awkward that people give into those weaknesses sometimes and form a mob on someone whose just trying to project good. Maybe, the Bible is right about the prince of this world being the devil who tries to lure people away from the truth by using clever devises and staying hidden. In a spiritual warfare, mature believers say that it's prayer that defeats Satan's forces.

Merry Christmas

I'm really grateful for the people who are alive and reading this beautiful website. I'm still saying nice stuff about it even though I'm probably going to bag on it later. I hope all of the people are doing really well and have something really good for them right now. I hope they're all happy and well loved in this unstable, economic times. I realize that people sometimes have trouble communicating what they're feeling when they feel frustrated or angry; with this nasty period the country has been through, it's not too hard for anyone to relate. There are so many events that has happened and from the job market being one of them that laid off workers who don't want to retire yet or still need the money, I guess sympathizing with others probably isn't that hard to do.

In a time of economic crisis, having a heart that's just filled with self-confidence and reassurance is a luxury to live by. I'm starting to realize that just about anyone can obtain what their desires are in life, regardless of age, income status, or education level. It's just that some decisions we made sometimes hold us back, or maybe they're something we want to ignore and not care about because the world is just too hard to be a part of. I know a guy whose a narcissist, very annoying, dumb, and foolish. He's probably reaching 30 in a couple years and he still spends his time playing video games and talking about how great he is at it while I watch him getting man-handled by the A.I. he plays against.

I guess some people like him just don't want to function at a high standard because he's tried so hard and given up. He wants to be sucked into some dark form of living because he feels it's necessary to survive. He does however have a conscience that doesn't want to screw up and look bad on himself; he spends his time mocking dumb behaviors so he wouldn't get engaged in it himself. From the choices he has made, he isn't really getting anymore and if he's heart has been set on something misleading which already appears, he can't really be of much use to anybody so I should just turn him over and see where he'll end up later. He seems to respect me a lot more because of the personal choices I made for myself- he can't really make fun of me anymore.

Happy Christmas Eve

Happy Christmas Eve everybody, and I hope all is well for the people who actually have read some stuff on this lame website. I can't see that it's boring for me anymore. Well, maybe I will in the next couple days I come to view this site and type some more repeated nonsense. It's been a lot of close calls for me; well, not really. I'm just trying to get by to the best of my ability and by just putting my focus into something and not losing heart at it, I'm actually getting somewhere.

I've read some funny material related to life which has kept me going during this holiday season. I guess it's good to have a nice laugh and not take something too seriously whereas others might want to. I think it's just good to look for the right things in life and just prepare for it with the right mentality and heart. It's like putting your best foot forward in going in for a job interview. Man, I've reeked at job interviews except for those company that don't care if you can't alphabetize from A to Z.

Actually, those companies that do pay people to do something for them and takes them out of the blue is actually better than nothing in this economy. Furthermore, I believe that many people disqualify themselves from even getting that type of opportunity for themselves. I pretty much had to do what I did because I needed the money and it was something that just had the right opportunity for me. Actually, I haven't really been put down for taking this decision from anyone. I might even leave some people speechless, but then again, I'm really deciding not to really be around them around because I entirely disagree with them in certain issues that really matter. It's not that I can't get along with them- I just don't think dealing with them would be in the best interests for both of us now.

Lalalalala

Okay, I'm really feeling like I'm losing it from having to write on here with only 48 hours left until Christmas. I just feel like I'm crunched with all my time and feeling like I'm pressured to buy these precious gifts and ensure that some people are doing okay- I think this is how I might say I feel like most of the time. It sort of makes you look good to be concerned about someone else besides yourself, family, or kids.

Indeed, it looks good to be not a brat in general but some people just seem to care like me anymore. I don't really overreact to people yelling at me anymore. I'm not going to tell them to stop yelling at me or feel like crying about it underneath anymore. If I made a mistake, then I admit it and try to move on if they won't let me fix it. More often than not, they force me to do something about it which is a bummer. I don't get to relax when it happens; I guess being a man, it might be interesting to get requests bombarded with me.

Writing Mania

Man, this is getting pretty swell. I wish you a Merry Christmas. I wish you a Merry Christmas. Good tidings for you and for all of your kin. I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Feliz Navidad! Did you know that Feliz Navidad is a song that was supposed to originally be fully in Spanish? When the song was going to be aired awhile back in the states, there was a really conservative crowd who only wanted to hear music created by other white folk. That's why the song has some English in it- it's still a catchy tune after all these years and has caught on.

I guess I'm losing a little focus talking about Christmas now. I haven't really done any Christmas shopping. I asked if my sister needed anything, and she really didn't say. Maybe I'll get her a cheesy Ipod or something like that tomorrow for laughs. I know she wants that Ipad really badly; I guess I can look into it too. I think I really need to save up a little more before I can buy her a new BMW!

Finally Something Like A Peaceful Shrink

Pretty much, I imagine myself typing away and submitting these posts straight through a blank wall in a figurative sense. It's not much listening I'm receiving but nonetheless, I'm getting a good thrill of typing on here. Or maybe, not really. I can pretty much talk about the same thing and reword like I've been doing for the past posts. Actually, one or two of those posts might be pretty good and very original. I even surprise myself how much truth it may capture and really create some phenomena with.

I remember how I used to type word for word and go back and catch my grammar errors, if I had any of those skills back in those days. I just remember typing with personification that came out of a nut job because I was incoherent and caused some heads to spin. Man, I sacrificed my grade point average because of that- it was like a bad addiction I couldn't get out of. Nowadays, I'm learning to get out of nasty habits so let's see if I progress later.

Oh Boy, Busting and Loading

I just came back from running an hour ago. I wasn't really sweating that much in my black T-shirt and black shorts. My black T-shirt says, "I love New York!" It's just a cool work out shirt- I don't really have any emotional ties to New York; I just know my little sister was thoughtful enough to buy me a shirt that fits. As I walked in and my little sister told me that I had some post cards from the military, I made a phone call and acknowledged to her that I was in trouble.

She started laughing and then I said that I just needed to do some drug testing. I was on the phone for awhile while she was cooking some Christmas treats; she became a little annoyed that I had my sun glasses on the whole time and even ate lunch while wearing it and stayed on the phone. Yeah, that's life. I told her that I need to treat her like an officer because she's a civilian that I am forced to respect- this is if I stick to my American soldier ideals. I'm in it to serve the civilians of this country, even if I think some of them act like turds.

It's the sacrifices people make to ensure that a country runs smoothly. We're grateful for them- I know that I'm pretty grateful for the battle buddies I spent some time with at a military installation.

This Is Becoming Like A Really Painful Chore

I'm feeling glued on my seat right now typing about stuff that probably wouldn't make that much sense to the common person. I'm even skipping some words as a type now and not paying that much attention to the details that I should be engrossing myself in. I guess I'm not meant to be a real writer then. This could pretty much be interpreted as me wasting a great deal of my time right now.  I'm still engaging in this light activity because for some reason, it's bringing out something I like about myself.

I guess the more times a person practices at something, the more better he will become at it. I think something that I have been accustomed to in the past is pretty much spending long hours on something everyday. Well, I started out like that by watching T.V. I think just staring at the screen and letting my mind rot was not really something I can boldly state that I'm proud of.

Fixing and managing my computer was very frustrating back then, but somehow having no help I managed to do what I wanted sometimes except for the impossible things like learning to program software which was so hard and something I became addicted about learning. I think when my dad bought me a book on learning to program, and it didn't do what I wanted- I gave up thinking that there was nothing that I could do in making it work. I think the moment arose again when I was in college- when I was stumped on some programming task and couldn't find the solution- I pretty much just started all over and kept on studying all the different tools I could use and surely enough, I would come across a solution if not the best solution and use it to finish my project.

After Failing, Looking Forward To Retesting

One thing that the military does believe in, is giving the soldier whose learning to overcome an obstacle some more chances with learning to pass an event in order to graduate. In life, there can only be so many chances but I believe if the individual takes it very seriously and commits he or she will most definitely reach a goal. It's mainly in the attitude which will really allow a person to do what's needed to get there.

If the will isn't there, then pretty much if the event is too difficult to complete then one can expect to always fail. Without preparing and giving some strong and consistent effort, there really can't be a successful attempt. I just need to personally learn to push myself with very little self-doubt and not worry about getting that cold rejection from mother nature when it does happen.

Running Out Of Steam

My mind is just ready to shut down because I know that once I'm finished with reaching this month's goal. I'm going to need to write about thirty-one more posts to finish up the year. I'll be going on a skiing vacation again, so I'm not going to have access to the Internet this time. The most significant thing that I did today was just wake up and do some push ups. It's really funny how the most important thing to me for the whole day only takes like five minutes to accomplish.

I really need to watch myself more carefully and keep the mind from wandering off into a dark path. Maybe things are just getting more laid back for me, and I'm just not being that attentive about it anymore. I guess I'm just moving along and writing about boring stuff over and over again. I guess if I slip I just need to learn to snap out of it and face the consequences and ask the Lord for forgiveness now. Furthermore, I need to learn to not go back into it again. A verse in the Proverbs states that a sinner who goes back to his old habits of sinning is like a dog that returns to its vomit. 

I understand the cycle I'm in and how it's really difficult to snap out of it and push myself into a more likeable transition. Though my flesh is weak, my heart isn't giving up; I'm not losing my faith in what Christ has done just so I could go back into living a pretty ignorant and selfish lifestyle. 

I Should Maintain The Body And Myself

I have some things that I told myself that I would do. I need to live up to them now. Well, today I supposedly have a party that I need to attend so I'm guessing that should be a lot of fun. I need to let go of the guilt with some acts I'm not too proud of and just repent of that nature while recognizing that I'm like a new creature trying to serve God. I do feel freed from all the hassles I felt like I was dealing with nowadays.

My personality is really staying stable and capable of being pretty smooth with everybody. I just need to make some minor adjustments with myself now and then I should be set. Being home, it's hard for me to live up to the commitments that I've wanted to set out to do because I'm in a relaxed state at home. By going out the workplace, it took me nearly a month-in-a-half to adapt to a more stressful environment.

I don't want to lose the edge that I created for myself. I should be taking advantage of the situation I'm currently in. I should be trying to stay diligent with something that I really want to do and be honest about my situation while trying to be moral about stuff.

Simple Way To Fix Computer

I was a little worried while I was backing up my files that it would take me a long time to fix my computer today. However, I just ran a piece of software called Malwarebyte and it pretty much solved my issue. The spyware I got stuck with is called Windows Security 7- it's really annoying because most programs can't be ran and causes the user to get a pop up screen stating to register and buy the software. I guess I might have clicked accidentally and agreed to have my computer scanned thinking it was a natural update from Windows Defender.

What made the difference was running Malwarebyte by clicking on "Run as Administrator." It pretty much trampled the spyware and saved me the hassle of restoring my computer to factory settings and installing some other software I personally use. 

Clearing the Mind

My mind is not wandering off as it used to anymore. It's sometimes set on doing something that I shouldn't be focusing on. I'm really close to doing things right; I shouldn't let something I did to screw up keep me down. I guess I can pray for forgiveness when the Spirit ministers to me that I've been under sin. Having a sense of purpose and getting myself out of a small jam is something that's going to take me awhile to get used to, but I hope to get back on track again.

I'm starting to see the momentary distractions from not feeling it. It's a small cycle that inhibits me from being productive and possibly successful. There's a way for me to personally manage it and come out on top still- I know it's not that far away for me to turn it around and get ahead with my daily tasks again.

Have To Discipline Myself

I think I need to just relax now and let go of all the pressure that's built underneath me. I need to look at things in a moral perspective and just accept that being human and alive, there's a sense of responsibility that I want to maintain. The only way I'm really going to be able to do what I need is to let go of some things that never really worked out for me and to just try my best in hanging in there.

I think being disciplined can actually be a pretty purposeful lifestyle- not to mention, it's not that I can't make it fun also. I guess just taking my time with paying close attention to some things and then speeding up while getting used to a certain routine might be cool. I think I just need to get back into the habit of certain things and when I'm feeling off center and out of focus, I just need to let it fall out and reconcile with the feelings that are buried underneath and be patient about it.

A State of Denial

I'm starting to see that people sometimes like to overindulge themselves; hence, they become abnormal for a few seconds yelling from being uncomfortable about something. I guess I might be abnormal too because I've actually learned to be pretty calm over those situations that arise and can cause some people to blow their lids. It wasn't like this a few years ago because I was in a state of denial from not wanting to see it in simplistic terms. I was really emotionally connected with something and having a hard time letting go. Those people who I dealt with weren't really sentimental with me because they were so aggravated- this came out of that disgruntled church which I'm now totally understanding. They were spiritually blinded and their hearts were so hardened with the stubborn decision they were fixated on that they just simply told me to get help and couldn't acknowledge that I had a hard time letting go of some ties I built with their church.

It's a lot easier to see it now- also it was pretty rude of those people to make me feel like I was some piece of garbage by not being able to clarify it over again while I was denying their allegations with me. I sort of picked up on this behavior because of them removing me as a friend on their Facebook page. I guess it's not the act that I mind but my judgement I was placing against them.

Nowadays, they are all gone after blaming me for causing their people to leave their church. I think that unofficially exonerates me from whatever madness they wanted to scapegoat me over. I was in an emotional state of denial and it caused me to ignore the situation they were placing me in. I was dumb for not being able to accept the truth back then and realize that they were being foolish with me.

I guess it's hard to move on especially when there's some unsettled business I feel beneath my heart. I'm not about to go on a shooting rampage with a loaded M-4 which is hard to calibrate on its own and won't hit any target looking through the sight post. I think the soldiers I was surrounded around understand my call on the M-4. I'm just really happy for some reason because I think I recovered from a very difficult situation and might have needed to boast a little about it. That's probably what I was missing and now I think I'm ready to deal with their countenance after time has passed which is going to appear pretty pathetic if I ever come across them again.

What I Think I Did Wrong

I pretty much focused on the wrong thing and left myself feeling cheated. I should maintain a level of concentration and discipline by doing something that I know is productive and will induce happiness when I do complete the task. I am familiar with completing some very difficult tasks and feeling really filled and rejuvenated. I should utilize this need of responsibility to get something done over my break.

It's really easy to sit around and pretty much watch television like I did all throughout my schooling. It was fun sometimes but boring most of the time. It was when I got my hands dirty fiddling around with something using my screwdriver that things got a little interesting. It was really difficult to maintain the desire to work on a project, but I didn't understand a lot about life back then.

I guess I'm glad my writing while I reflect about my boring life is actually helping to motivate me.

Exercising Discipline

I'm sort of treating my vacation right now while thinking that once I exercise, I'm pretty much free. However, I want to do more than just play right now. I want to utilize this time that I have to do something I know I have set out in myself. I guess I can prepare myself to go back to school to earn a graduate degree. I'm almost squared away with everything that I need to focus on.

Because I by myself, I should really maintain a level of excellence that I usually strive for when I'm around my peers. It's like I can't really let down my battle buddies- we have to each function individually to work as an effective team. I really should be doing my part while I'm still not belonging to anything.

Six More To Post 1000

With this whole trying to average one post a day, it's getting really hard to want to write on this blog now. It just feels that way for the moment, but I'm still on here typing away with anything random that's going on my head. I don't seem to really care at the moment how ostentatious or impractical this blog appears. Anyway, I received complaints from my mom at one point who told me that I was an idiot for writing stuff on here.

The saying goes that practice makes perfect. I don't really see how useful this blog is going to be on the long run for everybody else at the moment. However, it seems like the more I focus on something genuinely good and use it for clever things, it seems to create an impact for me. I've had moments where I wrote up something that I've never even thought of and used the reflection to help myself.

Okay, there's something about me where if I'm accustomed to something and it doesn't go the way I want it, then I might feel a little irascible about it. I guess the extreme version of some criminals have rage that never goes away when they are irritated; they must be like sitting there in a dark corner while locked up and alienated from making any more friends. I think I'm learning to not care if something doesn't go my way- then again, I'm starting to laugh about it a little inwardly so I guess it's a decent defensive mechanism and helpful in keeping me cheerful about life and something to be thankful about always.

Never Been So Popular

Honestly, I don't seem to really care about popularity. The heck with it, I've been celibate all my life- I'm saying it the G-rated way. I'm happy to celebrate celibacy which means that I never married. This implies a lot of things in a good way, which might even make some people a little jealous or wish they could turn back time. It's difficult actually when a person grows up and still have the desire of wanting to never marry. It can mean a lot of things for the person and disrupt some areas of confidence; however, it can all be changed by simply making the effort.

Putting a smile on your face over thinking about smart things and applying it isn't always a bad thing. Just do it. My count of people reading this blog has really dipped because I haven't been able to manage it that well for the last two months. I actually have a count on how many people are actually looking at this site.

Then again, I'm doing pretty okay according to my personal standards. I don't expect any surge of readers looking at this site any time soon.

Have To Stay Clean

I need to work out and then take a shower. That's what I'm feeling. I already worked out in the morning with push ups and sit ups. I need to go run right run and then take a shower and then I need to go take this hard to clean, army uniform and drop it off at a cleaning place. Okay, I need to clean my desk again because it's getting annoying looking at all this trash on my desk.

I'm glad I paid my bills on time and can sort of get about it for this whole month. I am going to try to early pay my bills so I don't have to worry about it anymore. I am getting a headache looking at my desk right now- I feel like really cleaning it so I'm going to clean it.

Almost Ready To Fully Grasp Everything I Need

I know how it's so easy to see something or observe it, but when translating it into steps; sometimes, it's just too confound to entertain the mind and achieve the goal. Nonetheless, it doesn't mean the person should become erratic or dejected about taking on the challenge. I think when a person becomes self-motivated, there's really no need to all of a sudden jump the gun into doing something that's probably crazy. Maybe something isn't really so crazy to the person, who might see it in an entirely different light; well, it doesn't really seem to be so helpful to the masses.

I think when it comes down to it- whatever a person does, it really comes down to the intentions of the heart. Something may seem so great to observers who are not part of something, but what's it really like for the person whose been successful at receiving the favorable outcome? I guess I have some questions but then again everybody does, and dealing with some of the most annoying people on the planet makes me sort of laugh about it now.

Not In Mood For Writing

I feel like this the half of the time I actually do write on this blog. Yet, I put down something because I just have a forced habit so I'm going to be posting something, regardless of how lame or shameful my composition becomes. It's interesting when I seem to get myself laughing and then others start laughing too. It's very enjoyable and sort of fun so I guess it makes things a little more comfortable for me.

It might mean that I'm becoming a master at manipulating people's emotions or some liberal field of thought that causes some people to feel offended about this blog. I remember last couple years, I felt really locked up- I still hate the idea of using curse words to express myself even though I've come so dog gone close. I mean I use words that seem to be bad but in general, it's used for the purpose of conveying something useful, so I guess I remain thankful that I don't need to limit my vocabulary to vulgar contexts.

Don't Know If I'm Going To Make It

Writing like 56 more posts feels like too much for me to handle. Honestly, I've done a lot of writing in the past from being motivated and from what I've busted out in the past- man, that's a daunting amount of posts for me to personally handle this month. It's because I'm going somewhere again next week so I'm not going to have time to post so I'm trying to break my limit in a matter of a few days. Boy, it's feeling really gut crushing for me. It's like I just want to not dedicate myself to these pages anymore and go on doing something else.

Yet, I feel this personal commitment that I made to this blog. I pretty much stated that I would average one post a day. See, how hard it really is? I personally do.

Tackling Substance

I'm pretty lucky in that I have all this time to myself right now since I'm back on break. I'm pretty much left alone and get to do whatever I want at this home and not feel really burdened by anything in the world. I guess that's called ultimate relaxation- I still feel a little guilty in that I could probably do quite a bit more while I'm facing this moment I'm getting to enjoy.

Learning to balance my desires and frustration levels have been quite a ride for me, and it might really destroy my desire to concentrate because I just feel so emotionless about it. I can't personally rule it as a state of depression either- it's just a mood of thinking I guess that I haven't really been tested with. I think it's because I'm losing in touch with my sense of purpose sometimes.

There's this innate desire to connect and stay connected with me- I don't want to stay in the bad side of things either when I could just aim for excellence. I think I just need to think less about the state I'm currently in and work on stuff to recognize later how I've been resilient with some things. I just need to keep an ensured head locked in with everything and be able to flow.

It's like I need to be able to do this everyday- regardless of how I might feel. The good thing is that I sort of laugh about my setbacks now, so they don't bother me as much anymore. I think it's nice that I developed this sort of defensive mechanism when the going seems a little tough. It keeps me wanting to stay resilient and just pushing forward with an endeavor. I no longer feel like I have to regret sticking to the decision of someone else when it's really my call to make now. I really feel a lot of stuff happening with me and that I should just relax and try to catch onto things a little more smoothly.

Conquering Unwanted Addictions

It could be really anything that a person might have trouble staying away from. Maybe that piece of chocolate is too good to pass up, so the guy might finish up three pounds of chocolate in one setting. I don't think that's very healthy obviously, but it could sure serve up being a laughing matter. I think overcoming these pitfalls is just a matter of recognizing one's strengths and then applying concentration to stay busy and just do the right thing.

My current problem when I'm by myself is thinking very incorrectly and out of line with the world, like I'm in my own bubble. It even is attached to my emotions from probably experiencing some positive reinforcement from it. I really need to retrain myself out of this immature pattern of acting and become a little more aligned with morally contributing at something.

Trying To Finish Up The Year

I feel like being at home to do nothing makes it a lot easier for me to be susceptible to doing naughty things to myself. I don't think I should engage in that type of behavior and just find something to keep active with. I think with all this time that I have been given for the vacation along with a pretty decent amount of income with a pretty good housing condition, I should really take advantage of it and apply some discipline no matter how boring the going gets. I don't think it's about what I'm currently doing, but more about where it's leading now.

If I focus on stupid things, then that's how I've been keeping myself busy which is not very bright. I would like to focus on smart things and keep away from unnecessary distractions now. The thing that I'm having trouble is this feeling of having nothing to do and then blowing off time by doing something crazy to pump up my adrenaline. I think it's really all about having the right kind of heart when it comes to dealing with stuff in life.

Man, being of coming age it's getting really hard to ignore the thoughts of wanting to raise a family. It seems like a direction that would help out with maintaining some responsibility and enjoying stability. I am really weak in the flesh when it comes to dealing with that marriage stuff right now, so I sort of need to commit myself again in the right direction. I'm going to pretty much spend some of these days in prayer and seeking heavenly advice from Christ through searching the Scriptures and apply those principles that become revealed to me in his spirit.

Feeling Heavy Duty Writing

I feel a headache at the thought of punching some keys to make up some random sentences right now. I guess that's how it's like to feel normal most of the time. I guess the other times I might feel weird is when I'm on this natural high with writing and then I write something I think is good, but when I read it later, it actually sucks. Oh well, life is filled with emotional contradictions all the time. What makes a good standard in writing anyway? With all these different styles, I guess the plaintive and tedious style of getting to the point with a simple opinion is how to write essays. I guess adding some flavor to it and then bashing things might really offend even the grader, but then I guess the grader is forced to give the writer an A while completely hating the piece because it's a well-composed draft.

Looking at things in a humorous way with this random setup can sometimes cause the brain cells to activate. I guess it's the part where a person puts his or her focus that breaks the person, so no matter how annoying a person becomes from making you laugh with silly jokes, I guess it gets to the point of staying focused and bringing in the money to support your family and yourself.
  

Need To Call Now

I have some card debt remaining still. Now, I only have some money in my bank account which is pretty enough to pay my bills. As long as I don't really injure my body, I should be in decent standing to withstand the cold weather in a military installation like Fort Benning when I go back in January. I'm back from training hard- I lost ten pounds and have a little bit of lining that looks like muscle forming on my abs. I guess I'm becoming a leaner and stronger soldier. I was surprised I could even do a pull up and hold it there for a little while- I used to not be able to do any; in fact, throughout the whole training I needed a spotter to do a pull up. All of a sudden, I did a pull up; wow, so amazing.

I guess it's normal for females to not be able to do a lot of push ups; so unfortunately, they can't really join the military even if they wanted to. There was this one female at the training who couldn't do any push ups and she became singled out and looked really weird, but in the civilian world she would be considered normal. In the military world, she is looked down upon which is pretty sad. She might be kicked out but she is improved from doing 0 push ups to 6 push ups in a matter of 8 weeks. I think that's a pretty low number of push up repetitions still, compared to my improvement from 25 to 43 in 8 weeks. In the U.S. Army, men and women are considered equal so by not doing those push ups, it invites alienation and being looked down upon or seen as a piece of turd by drill sergeants, females and males alike. There are some females who have busted out and do most push ups than males- kudos to them.

Have To Make Phone Calls

I ended up trying to text a girl named Betty Lam - there's like at least hundreds of the same name in China. I unfortunately had to deal with a Betty Lam- she lives in California still I think. Even in California, there's a lot of Betty Lam's out there- I see that it might be easy for her name to be stolen and hence, be a victim of identity theft. It happened to my little sister because her name is pretty common too. I think I'm speaking some truth about this while laughing quite a bit trying to discuss about it.

There's also another common girl name found in China that I came to talk to. There was another one too but she was very exceptional to me based on her demeanor and level of maturity- I thought her age was like 35 but now that I reason, she might have only been like ten months older than me. Anyway, I can technically call her an older sister still but it has to be looked at as the bare minimum. There was this really funny Thai name- I guess Thai people sometimes have these excruciating long last names spelled out in English. I guess it flows a lot better being written down in a different language- maybe that's why it has traditionally stayed like that; still, it seems like Thai people feel a little disconnected with each other sometimes with the economic crisis and stuff, so I can't really make an accusation of how having long last names to remember causes them to forget about other agenda.

I guess I get along with the most unruly people, especially if I've hung out at a military installation all this time during the last two months and have no altercations or verbal exchanges to really highlight. This should be mean that all I had to do was just open my mouth and tell those church people how weird I thought they were being and they would just shut down and let me expose how weird they were being. It's like I could have walked all over them easily and probably still could but maybe I should maintain my discipline of spirituality and not really do it.

Countdown to 365

Yeah, at the pace that I'm writing I could be at 365 in no time- that is if my mind doesn't decide to sleep at the desk I'm in. Basically I feel like going out to work out even the outside is considerably cold. I'm just weird like that in that it's not common to wake up early and then go work out. I can only do 40 push ups in two minutes compared to my little sister's 5 push ups. My stats are still pretty horrible, so I have to work on it and am going to do so right now or eventually after finishing writing. I feel like I can almost reach only 60 situps in two minutes and comparing that to the rest of the female population- man, I need to compare myself to other males. Man I suck at doing push ups and sit ups right now and my run time is only 7 minutes a mile right now- I need to cut it down to 6:30 minutes per mile to be considered a dog gone, pretty elite soldier.

I'm waking up thinking about doing physical training. Being at basic combat training in a military installation like Fort Benning has caused me to think about just exercising and longing to be a better marksman. It was fun throwing grenades and ducking to avoid shrapnel- I was told that the safety instructors will utilize beating up a person to bring him or her to safety which is kind of an oxymoron. I will explain- the instructor can pretty much lift up the individual and kick him so he falls to the dirt really battered to avoid shrapnel from a grenade just to save his life. I didn't hear about it happening to any of the 210 soldiers who were with me this time. That's how it's supposed to be, and they keep on telling us, "Don't be that one [bad soldier]."

Let's Get The Coveted 365 Posts

My mind is on its random rampage again to finish what it set out to do in the beginning. From procrastinating which really sucks a lot, I think any person who does that will lose out in a significant amount of details in their life while trying to complete an endeavor successfully. It's pretty much being forced to make compromises dealing with the amount of time that is left. It's a really painful journey and always will be- it never really prepared me for meeting deadlines that became shortened either.

There's something inappropriate about me and I know what it is but I'm not going to share. Let's just say that I want to keep this gig of mine G-rated, so I could hint a little just like how those Disney films do it. I think I gave away a lot of implications already, but then again the little ones might still have a little more thinking to do before they get it, so I guess it's not bad to treat the matter as such on this blog then.

What I Have Been Doing?

I don't know what I have been doing. Let's just say that I've been away from my house for awhile now. I didn't have any access to the Internet or news or hardly got to speak to normal people. It's because I've been training at a military installation. As funny as it sounds with how I'm putting it, it's true that I signed up for the Army Reserves and became accepted.

I was worried about a private incident that happened with me but it looks like it's going to stay only private. I mean to say that I denied doing anything wrong, and if it doesn't really show up on my public record with me still avoiding from making the problem any larger back home then I guess I haven't really done anything wrong and don't need to worry about it anymore.

Back To Posting

Okay, it's five days before Christmas now. I have an incredible amount of catching up to do now. Looks like I might actually be living up to what I said I would be doing which is splitting up each post to just one paragraph just to see what type of randomized stupid stuff I come up with. I think this is a great way to just cheat myself for the whole year but then again, I'm getting what I want to do. That being said, I'm probably going to be just letting myself loose and have no worries about people bashing me for writing something that goes against their morals or just plain offends them.

I've found some technique underneath all of this to try to still stay relevant and get people to just stay quiet. I guess that's the best way which is shutting them up sometimes.