Interesting Feelings

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Make this a habit. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Research for future trips. Buy tickets and book airbnb. (After paycheck)

14. Make this a habit. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping. 

15. Get car registration settled (After paycheck)

16. Return old drone for selling and unused merchandise (on weekday)

17. Buy a close friend a birthday present (After paycheck)

18. Put some money back into bank account during the week

19. Fun task: catch up on episodes for a movie and to keep up with a close friend

I managed to complete #4 and #14 last night. I was going to do #9 but I fell asleep. I almost completed all my tasks, so I think this format is working for me exclusively. 

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It's crazy that I know some of my stupid frenemies might have some issues cluttered up in their head. I don't care if I sound demeaning to them because they can be as well with me or anyone and shouldn't be doing that if they say that I shouldn't demean them. 

I stopped caring about all the mean things they want to bring up out of having anger issues. I finally managed to get over this personal traumatic experience and don't mind smiling about it with a sense of serenity. 

My close friend does like to say "Have a good night" to me often which irks me sometimes. I relate it to reading something like how she is saying that because she doesn't want to be involved with me in a romantic sense; otherwise, she would have just said "Good night" to me. She's said it both ways to me already, so I'm wondering now if her mood switches sometimes from being little interested to not in the mood. 

It really shouldn't bother me because I'm not interested in pursuing after her. She doesn't have enough qualities yet for me to be interested in her. It's probably that I feel a little annoyed underneath like I want to say "How dare you!" but I'm staying quiet about it because these are just subtle things and it's still a good thing to say to each other. I basically say "Have a good night" back to her like a parrot now with a little forced smile while disguising some annoyed feelings but it's something I will never bring up with her unconditionally. 

I do hate it even if she means well by saying that I'm like a brother to her sometimes. She sees it as something very special but I don't see it her way. It feels like an insult to me because I interpret it as like she's not interested in dating me so it's rude to say it that way because I could bring up things about her with why I don't want to date her and haven't talked about it officially with her. I feel some sort of frustration from realizing there's a double standard whether it's actually true or not. Also, I think no lady is worthy of calling me like their actual brother except my own little sister. It just makes me mad to hear it, even if they mean well. 

Creating Personal Rules of Engagement

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Research for future trips. Buy tickets and book airbnb. (After paycheck)

14. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

15. Get car registration settled (After paycheck)

16. Return old drone for selling and unused merchandise (on weekday)

17. Buy a close friend a birthday present (After paycheck)

18. Put some money back into bank account during the week

For #11, I think I'm going to keep a separate running tab for it. I'm going to go watch episodes or play after I complete these bolded tasks. 

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For playing online recreational Poker with real money, I've decided to commit to a way of conduct so that it doesn't interfere with my psyche when things don't go the way I want it to. 

1. Play and exit with some profit whenever you feel like it.

2. Buy in for 50 big blinds each time and quit for the day after getting cleaned out four times. 

3. Quit for the day when your profit has become at least 200 big blinds.

4. Quit for the day when you get cleaned out with a bad beat. 

This is what I will commit myself to from now on easily. 

Good One Liner

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Research for future trips. Buy tickets and book airbnb.

15. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

16. Get car registration settled

17. Return old drone for selling and unused merchandise

This is starting to get really good, and I'm understanding how my patience and drive is helping me settle down when it comes to stressing out over any type of work!

Thinking About the Details

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Research for future trips. Buy tickets and book airbnb.

15. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

16. Get car registration settled

17. Return old drone for selling and unused merchandise

Gosh, I hardly did anything yesterday because I was so distracted with doing some maintenance with my room and helping out a close friend. My mom ended up trying to throw away a lot of clothes and some of it was something she didn't like. I really want to get my own property for myself, but I'm still saving up and trying to make a lot of money on the side as a trader and investor. It's coming along better than ever and also you never know what's going to happen, so I'm taking a risk with my money and not minding taking some losses. It's like taking some losses sometimes but gaining it back plus a lot more in grand fashion!

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I understand how a close friend of mine really likes me. She even told me in person, after having a few spats that left us annoyed with each other. We get along well as friends, and it's probably because I'm naturally built for getting along and adapting to anyone with her needs. She still doesn't have enough qualities I look for in a romantic partner though. It's something she potentially could gain, but I'm not going to play this hand to avoid feeling like I'm wasting my time and commit myself to someone who is the right person. Our relationship still could turn romantic and I've already become very happy about being always nice to her. It's just that it's probably entirely on her now to gain those qualities I really need in a partner! It might never even happen as I find myself the right person to be with, which is totally fine. 

Therefore, it's still sad to me whenever she wants to bring up any details about my dating life. She's someone who could be my partner if she had enough for me and can even gain it, but she doesn't right now so I'm not interested in her. I'm realizing that it's pretty sad for me to talk about dating with any girl who I don't think has enough of the right qualities I look for in a person. 

I know a friend who does have enough, but she's a single mom and that's not within my preferences. I'm able to talk about dating with her and not be so bothered by it. I think even with girls who do have enough preferences and aren't interested in me, I'm okay with them criticizing me or giving me some pointers. I wouldn't be able to stand them calling me like a brother though because this attention will only be going to my little sister. 

Projecting Personal Confidence

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Research for future trips. Buy tickets and book airbnb.

15. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

16. Get car registration settled

17. Return old drone for selling and unused merchandise

I pretty much want to finish this as much as I can, so I can start focusing on other long term goals or tasks.

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I think a lot of it is pretty much a waiting game and going about something as smart as you can while spending as much time as you can on it. This is pretty much the formula to getting to where you want to go. Also, it's important to never lose heart and to stay persistent no matter how hard and lonely the road may be. If it's an uncommon dream among your family, friends, acquaintances, or peers then it probably has to mean something big! 

I think mistakes or failures are things you can embrace and not stress out so much over. This is something that took me a long time to get over. Also, I thought becoming a short man was in a way my own mistake and felt like something I had to drag myself over throughout life! No matter what people told me, is it going to make me feel better? I think the answer always came from myself. It's so cool that I'm no longer worried or feel that it's a curse with being a short man. I don't think it's bad to put on a small smile of confidence and just move on while feeling great about yourself! 

Just Some Negative Thoughts I Feel is Truthful

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Research for future trips. Buy tickets and book airbnb.

15. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

16. Get car registration settled

17. Return old drone for selling and unused merchandise

I want to get a lot of things done as quickly as possible! I just need to concentrate. 

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I think one of my friends I haven't talked to in a while acts like a crass jerk in a tactful manner sometimes and doesn't realize it for himself. He did like asking me why he doesn't really have any friends hit him up. I pretty much gave that reason, and he doesn't want to accept it from strongly feeling that he isn't one, which is completely fine if he didn't get miserable but he really does. 

I regularly have a few good friends contact me, which is better than nothing. I've become a lot better at not caring about anyone saying things about me that could be off-putting or feel demeaning. I'm still going to happily be myself!  

My close friend just revealed to me that whenever I try to be a smart alec with her via text which she claims is demeaning, it really messes with her head to the point that she ends up blaming herself and feels off-balance. She said that it's so rude and tried to explain that I should change for the better. 

Anyhow, she doesn't have all the qualities yet that I look for in a romantic partner but she currently has the most potential out of all my female friends. We're close friends by fate which is good enough! I have chosen to act nice towards her in my not-so-fond moments with her and discussed it with her, which she's happy about. She's also trying to be nice with people she's not so fond of and finds it to be very difficult unlike me. 

Maybe Powerful Ritual

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Research for future trips

15. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

16. Get car registration settled

I just highlighted #11. I wasn't even paying attention all day today at work which is bad. I'm going to shape up right now. 

At least I have my debt cleared out now. It was so annoying dealing with this private collections agency and seeing my credit score drop. Man, it's going to take a while to see that rise back up to a wonderful number again! 

Working on Grinding Through Stress Properly and Positively

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

17. Get car registration settled

I feel like when I'm under some stress, I don't want to resort to playing Poker anymore because it detracts from the actual source of discomfort which is probably most likely something I need to embrace while overcoming it by working on a solution. Basically, I want to let my mind wandering off be the last thing I have in mind. I want to put in a lot of effort while being positive and relaxed about all of it! 

Something new that I've learned from studying the Bible is that I'm inspired to let people live the way that makes them happy even if it goes against the account of how God intended things or doesn't personally please me. Obviously it's wrong if some try to deceive others and conduct crimes but those are things I'm willing to forgive but at the same time, I will play a role to try to prevent those occurrences and even support consequences that go on record. 

I have a voice that can be heard now from just communicating about my personal opinions and debating sometimes anytime. I'm so confident about who I am as a person and it feels so good. I mean really good!  

Finally Reached an Important Goal while Relaxed

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

I'm very stoked about my results with making money off of Forex this month. The money just came rolling into me like a flooding stream, and I didn't have to micromanage it. I just had to develop a daily routine that was manageable and didn't take me that long. It looks like I could get it done in under twenty minutes of work everyday! 

I'm going to trade on Monday to Thursday and looking to close out trades on Friday. The only time the Forex market closes is on Saturday. This can create a bad and unpredictable offset with the market transitions so unless my position is well within its means of already being profitable, it's probably going to be better to close it out or not engage the market on a Friday and early Sunday. 

I'm excited to have found something that could really accentuate my lifestyle and complement it so well! It could be that it's more like a blessing in disguise that I finally put it together from just naturally putting in this effort. The fact that it's been available all this time makes it so much cooler, especially with it going untouched by most people and even by the famous ones in the world. 

The main trick is to go for big gains and small losses while minimizing them. As a swing trader, there's no need to constantly stare at the market which I know a friend likes to do as a scalper but I feel like it's a misconceived effort from being too greedy and fearful about losing. 

From trying to get rich off of Bitcoin, he has been forced to be a swing trader by his trading robot anyway which I find to be funny. 

I know now that I am a rarity in this world from pulling off an impressive return with Forex this month on my own accord and while feeling relaxed about my developing private strategy. 

Feeling Ton of Excitement

A4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

I have now bought the drone and so now the goal is to only play everywhere with it! It's still a significant difference with my goal change I think.

I am seriously digging this new Forex strategy I came across by just fiddling around with some technical indicators. I pretty much just ate $5,000 worth of Forex education for being a daily scalper which didn't work out for me in the end. I don't think it's going to be a long way for me to earn it back now. 

This month is my all time high ever with ROI percentage wise from doing it on my own, and it's been done with relatively little effort and low worries! I went on this run in a matter of just two weeks. I just need to check it once in the morning and once in the late afternoon. I believe that I can keep up with this routine while naturally looking to come up with ways to keep on improving my strategy to limit losses while netting big gains per trade! 

Everything is also perfectly legal without any opposition from the government and makes a ton of sense for doing this to make a healthy living to reach my financial goals and freedom of time. 

Working on Status

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

Yesterday, I ended up reading and then getting some coffee after reading about fifty pages on a novel. I was getting really into it and then I decided to catch up on watching a show. I knocked out without any hesitation. 

I think watching TV should really come last as a rewarding state in a sense. It can be in some form a way to decongest after taking care of everything else and if there's still some left in the tank. Basically, entertainment in the form of really not doing much productive work should come last. It took me a while but playing video games is pretty foolish but addictive. It's still fun though to mess around every once in a while with it, if you have some company around. 

With reading, I'm applying some speed reading now and going back to reread after breaking some concentration. I think it's going to take a force of habit to keep my mind fixated on something besides letting it wander off so much. At least, it's something I'm finding to be enjoyable now and it is exercising my brain in a sense. 

I have pretty much missed out on reading for most of my childhood, when I could have probably become some real hotshot and rich guy with a great job and some respect among my peers while also scoring a decent chick to willingly be my wife. It wasn't just because I was doing things too soon, but that's just how my mind sort of works. I was pretty good at reviewing my recent actions and determining what I needed to do with making improvements. I had so many issues with patience and exhibited signs of panic wanting it to be over with, but now I'm able to hang in there better and manage this stress without really putting too much effort over it. I'm just so glad that I found something that I think will work for me.

New Plan of Thought

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

I'm going to have to pull the trigger and purchase that FPV drone I've been wanting now on Ebay. 

It looks like I'm on a roll with an effective and profitable Forex system that could make me a lot of easy money while putting in little effort daily! It has a bunch of ideas that I've stayed glued on over the years and there are still a few issues, so it's been about just almagating all of it. I think it's going to be a system that I need to constantly tweak, but I'm excited with the high amount of profit I'm able to earn on a regular basis while controlling my risk appropriately. 

I could really be on my way to a financially independent life at a quicker pace. 

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My interesting view that I just came to accept is that there's no need to control anyone to behave a certain way if it isn't to your liking. It's a little too bossy and the main homegirl I'm hanging with right now likes to bring this up with me. I'm probably not going to say much, if she complains about it but if she wants to push it then I will debate just like all the other annoying times she likes to do this to me! 

I guess thinking about it, since I'm worried that she isn't living up to Biblical standards, I can just pray that God will work a true miracle in her life. If she doesn't, then at least she can work on being truly happy with whatever things she wants to work on.  I can totally respect that out of love even if some of her ways don't really mesh with mine. 

Working With What I Have

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

I see things starting to come along well. It's awesome that I am knocking things off this list and even recalling it in the evening when my mind is slowed down.

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I have three good female friends. They are all within range of at least having the physical appearance of being my ideal partner. The only problem is that none of them meet enough of my preferences yet and they all differ from each other. It's crazy to compare and contrast them while noticing my likes and dislikes about each of them.

For the one who currently has the most potential to be my future partner, she has flat out told me that she really likes me and currently texts me the most out of the three as a buddy and asks me to go hang out with her and then buy her dinner. We have a great relationship. However, the things she likes to argue with me can get annoying sometimes! She's lacking in a major quality and maybe a few small ones that I value in a partner because of her personality flaw and upbringing. I'm fine with everything else about her and even meeting her needs. If she can develop this quality, then I just think she might be the right one for me! 

There's another good friend who has enough qualities and a good enough appearance for me to want to partner up. It's just that she's a single parent with her own kid and it's not my preference to pursue after her. I think she's been warming up to me a bit and I feel like I'm doing the same and able to open up about all of my shallow preferences and concerns in relationships. I can just talk about my dating problems with her and she's so cool about it, too! She's looking for her perfect match though and is cool about staying single for the rest of her life if he doesn't exist. I fully respect her approach! 

Lastly, this friend is pretty much a very flawed soulmate. She is moody and can be annoying while so nagging. She's also been in several serious relationships and gone through divorce twice! Man, she's too much for me to want to even tame. I'm just not into treating her as an intimate partner anymore. 

With the flawed soulmate, I have distanced myself from her because she was driving me crazy. I made fun of her and hurt her feelings via text before she cut me loose but knowing her, it's easy to establish a relationship back up again with her because she values spending time with friends of all backgrounds. She sort of has my view in life so maybe that's why we got along so well and are the rare misfits who match so well together and can always be around each other 24/7! 

With the flawed soulmate, she's in a serious relationship right now and it made me mad that she dismissed it as something she doesn't really know the good parts about. I really wanted to hear the details, but I guess she can be stupid in the wrong situations and has a quality that she could work on. It took me a while to get over it, but I'm seriously okay and hope she can work on it and manage to stay happy. Besides, I'm not into her. 

To be honest about my assessment which I won't discuss out of the blue with just anyone, I think the flawed soulmate is just settling with someone good looking enough for her right now and also think her partner can do better than her. I'll let her know this and tell her that as long as she's able to work on the relationship and maintain happiness then that's the most important thing going for her! 

Status Updates

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read as a habit

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Dentist appointment

14. Call to settle a debt

15. Research for future trips

16. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

The good thing is that I have a few things knocked off my list finally. It's going to look like it took me several days to get it done like a slow poke. However, this is far from the truth because I am creating multiple entries daily, so a lot of it is just copy and paste with my ideas and then just writing at least a sentence about it. 

I ended up spending most of my time last night reading and had a good time doing it. I think I need to recognize that even though I'm ambitious about finishing a 600 page novel with small text right now as fast as I can, my speed reading skills aren't that great yet. This is what I'm looking to practice from just reading things that I think aren't that important and trying to be attentive to most details without putting in that much effort. 

I'm going to need to learn when it is appropriate to call it quits for the night and get my other tasks out of the way as quickly as I can!

---

I have found out with my trading, I am well over 20% ROI for the month. This is heck of a lot good and I did it in less than two weeks while starting out the month with a loss! 

I have figured that I am mainly a speculator using technical indicators. I don't want to spend that much time on it, so I am subscribed to an ultra conservative yet successful investing group. I completely believe in their products and have already made some money as well and look to secure my wealth with a peace of mind by going this direction in the future. 

I am a swing trader who tries to engage in proper market timing from using technical indicators. I am specializing in the Forex market and able to make calls or shorts using leverage. Leverage scares off a lot of traders and investors already from what I know. You just have to understand your risks and it can't be that bad if you size your positions appropriately. 

I believe why this month has been working for me is because I'm following the principle of going for big gains and small losses while not losing that often. This translates to a nice paycheck in the trading world! I am seeing big percentage gains on my risked positions from timing the market appropriately and it seems to be something I'm doing effortlessly now. This is what I have always dreamed of and it feels great that I can see myself reaching my goal of being a millionaire soon! I may even be able to do well for myself already even if I'm not a millionaire and managing my finances currently. 

Another trick I have up my sleeve is that I am looking at the top chart which is the monthly and then pairing it with the Daily and 4-hour. My trades don't usually last more than a couple weeks but I do at least leave it overnight, so this figures that I'm a swing trader who is timing the market. I don't time it spot on but just look for an appropriate direction and position based on indicators showing me the market is overbought or undersold. If it's too overbought or undersold and there's momentum that's pushing into more profit, I don't really like to stick around and close out the position while settling for a handsome profit!  

Serious Dream Mode

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

14. Dentist appointment

15. Call to settle a debt

16. Research for future trips

17. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

18. Get haircut for visiting a cousin I mentored at his high school

I'm dreaming big!

---

My dream is that I will marry a good woman someday and enjoy getting to know her really well and often if you know what I mean! It's not my only dream that I don't care to ever obtain in my life. 

I want to have a lot of free time and donate some of my resources as a wealthy man. I also want to be in ideal shape. I basically want to obtain the dream of freedom in all of these categories: time, money, relationships, physical, and spiritual. I want to be an enlightened millionaire and willing to put in enough hard work for it! 

I think it starts off with recognizing your talents and making necessary adjustments while having a dream in mind. You have to sometimes let some go while picking and choosing because it just wasn't meant for you. 

What I'm Looking For in Partner and Will Find

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

14. Dentist appointment

15. Call to settle a debt

16. Research for future trips

17. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

18. Get haircut for visiting a cousin I mentored at his high school

I'm dreaming big!

---

I don't expect to ever bring this up with anyone, but a soulmate of mine doesn't meet my preferences for wanting to be partners with. I'm not going to mention she's an actual soulmate to girls I'm interested in. I tried it once on a date and I thought it was too cringy! The reason why I call her a soulmate is because we both agreed upon it with being soulmates at a low level. That's what a soulmate is in my definition- it's a lifelong thing and irreversible. 

Therefore, I now believe you can have more than one soulmate and find even better ones! I'm not going to be mentioning this regularly in person as a conversation because it's just not practical to bring up. It's going to stay a private thought or unless someone really gets open about hearing me talking about it.

Anyway, this soulmate of mine is someone I'm not interested in partnering up with. It's because she's been in a little too many serious relationships to my liking. Also, she doesn't have enough qualities I look for in a partner. 

For my preferences, I have found out that I don't want her to have been in too many serious relationships or something that resulted in marriage. The soulmate I'm referring to has already been in two failed marriages and broke up with another long-term serious partner! That's just way too much and red flags all over for me. Another thing is that I don't want to deal with any step kids unless they were literally adopted! It's not my time yet to be a step dad and I don't care how great she is for me, I will rather stay single if these are the only girls I can attract for the rest of my life! 

Fortunately, it's proof to me that I don't attract only these types of girls and they are single as well without having ever had to deal with anything too serious or that obvious on paper. Lastly, I want to marry someone with enough qualities that I'm attracted to and prefer this over looks. I can probably even go as low as 4 out of 10 in looks according to my standards. Ideally, I would like 5 to 7 because that's around how I confidently feel with my appearance to keep it fair. 7 is on the high end with how I feel about myself but close friends who like me rate me around there. 

Eager to Continue

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

14. Dentist appointment

15. Call to settle a debt

16. Research for future trips

17. Conduct regular hygiene. Take shower before sleeping.

18. Get haircut for visiting a cousin I mentored at his high school

It's becoming sort of just putting myself in motion with getting these personal tasks out of the way. 

---

I think becoming wealthy is about being as smart as possible while being patient. It's something I believe will happen for myself. I'm just trying to get there as soon as possible, and I think I've found my preferred trading platform in Forex. What's so crazy is that Forex currently has a confirmed average trading volume of over 6.6 trillion dollars daily!  There's plenty in it for me to earn myself a little piece of the pie and stay a giving millionaire.

For a friend I'm not talking to, he gets depressed because he thinks illogically while thinking he's the most correct with his conclusions. He is incorrect often on his investing decisions and then ignores finding his personal faults. He can also respond negatively after receiving some criticism about his deliberations to the point that it becomes annoying associating with him.  

The best way is for me to reach my goals and be happy before talking to him again and using how I reached my goals just to make a strong point with him. I think it's about recognizing your talent and putting enough work into it. I think he and his dumb brother are both just living their lives like a bunch of peaceful idiots while not having much going for them! 

It looks like I'm not bothered too much about anybody seeing me negatively anymore and even vocalizing it. I have gained all the confidence I need to function healthy and reach what I'm looking for.  

Making Progress

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

14. Dentist appointment

15. Call to settle a debt

16. Research for future trips

It seems like a lot of these small tasks I have on my To Do list can really be completed by just going on my computer. I really want to do a lot better with my focus. 

It looks like I already have the grinding spirit so I just need to put in the effort to initiate it and then keep up with the enthusiasm to bring it to the finish line! 

----

My understanding is that I want to continue to try as best as possible while not being so hard on myself. It looks like Forex might be the best option for myself with making money the most rapidly and conveniently. I'm seeing a good return on it this month and plan to continue getting sharper. 

Picking and Choosing

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

14. Dentist appointment

15. Call to settle a debt

16. Research for future trips

I'm realizing that I'm at a major disadvantage whenever I get home. I end up zoning out a little and relaxing while not doing what I had in mind. I think I just need to push myself besides just giving in to some leisurely activities. I do have objectives that I want to reach, and my confidence level is at an all-time high. I think I can even handle the stress and boredom of it that comes attached with it while being patient with grinding at something. I just need to pick and choose what it's going to be. 

---

I think the main homie who is a girl right now really likes me and considers us to be in a close platonic relationship. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been calling me to hang out with her all this time. Whenever she talks about me being with another girl besides her, it feels pretty sad because I know now why I'm not interested in her. She doesn't have enough qualities I look for in a partner, but her appearance really is compatible enough with mine so I guess some witnesses can suspect we're a couple whenever we run some routines together. Even though she's dating another love interest, it's still sad for me to want to talk about but if she ever interrogates me I'm going to open up. 

Personal Feedback

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

I would like to get myself back into doing #2, but #3 seems to be taking a good amount of free time away right now. What's great is that my style of investing and trading is more of a less hands-on approach, so all I really need is to bring in a steady form of profit and to be able to do it at will. I'm still in the process of figuring out a great routine. 

Taking Initiative

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Get my mom new trash cans.

#3 is definitely a very important goal of mine and it seems to be a pervasive theme of my life right now. It's taking precedence over a lot of these other side things, but I do believe that it comes in second place compared to my faith in Christ. For #4, I have found a website that will buy back my old drone so that I can use it towards purchasing a new one that I want. To get #9, I really need to find some time. I think #12 is a relative thing but for the most part, I think it's concentrating on finishing a task at hand while giving an effort to finish it without putting too many breaks in between. I have been putting #13 for a while but it's starting to come to my mind.

---

I have realized for myself that I just need to get myself started on doing something and then what I have to do just naturally comes next. Sometimes, my mind will be distracted so I just have to snap myself out of it and put myself back on course. 

It might even be something that happens persistently for me, but I think by being patient with myself and being calm about it, I don't really have to stress out about my mind doing this to me and just let myself persevere with a happy and positive attitude while working hard at things. Honestly, I'm so glad that I have made a true friend now even if she has to be a girl who looks compatible with me but I'm not interested in romantically. It's sad to me because I am interested in a female partner and for her wanting to sometimes bring up about me finding another partner someday because I know why I'm not into her anymore. She is already dating someone else though, which isn't my reason. 

Moving Forward

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Temporary: figure out friend's car registration issue. 

14. Temporary: pack for weekend stay at friend

I think in order for #9 and #12 to happen, I need to be committed to the process! 

----

Honestly, I'm pretty stoked with this random approach that I'm doing. I don't really know if my numbers are going to dwindle by the end of the month. Imagine I start mouthing off about Crazy Lee again even though she most likely knows that I'm doing this to her on here and shamelessly as well! Hey, I message her and she either feels bad about complaining or has learned to block me out by now. It's about time that I went to try talking to her again and see her sorry looking face in person this time around. I finally have communication under my belt! 

I have a stupid superstition. After the last message to Crazy Lee, I didn't see the cops showing up around my vicinity at work for the whole week! I saw one today pass me by and acting like I was a nobody. 

Main Things to Do

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Temporary: figure out friend's car registration issue. 

14. Temporary: pack for weekend stay at friend

I'm going to for now add or remove from this list. It's just repetition that I plan to do, even if I don't make any sense to others reading this. 

I really ought to figure out #4 by turning back purchased items that are no longer in use and then selling my old drone for some easy money. #13 and #14 go together. Most people assume my friend is a dude but she's a girl. We're close friends but personally, I figured it out, I'm not interested in her because she doesn't have enough qualities that make me attracted to her. She doesn't know this or has probably felt the vibe enough times but is still cool with it because she said that she really likes me when she was mad at me last week! 

Things I Wish to Do - Part 2

Even if I never get around to them, I'm still going to be content. These are the things I want to get myself started on, have put on hold, or working on. 

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing        myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

Great Trick to Living Long and Healthy

This is what I read a little while ago and find it to be so meaningful and truthful. 

You are supposed to have a clean diet, exercise regularly, get adequate sleep, and maintain close relationships. It makes sense because this is a great way to enjoy a fulfilled life.

It's great to have freedom in these areas: time, money, relationships, physical, and spiritual. These are the top five areas that we should all master to have enlightenment within ourselves. 

Honestly, I'm glad to that I have a true friend in a girl which was pretty unlikely from the start because she's of age and someone I would want as a partner if only she had the qualities I was looking for. Everything else is fine even though she opens up a lot about her problems and how I don't seem to find fault over those issues anymore. All that's left is really her personal qualities and as long as she doesn't end up in being more than two, long-term, serious relationships with guys or has a kid with someone. 

Things I Wish to Do

I have learned to be content with where I'm at right now. I've held it together with no problems for a long period and will keep it going. 

This comes from having peace of mind while believing upon Jesus as my Lord and Savior. You can say that I am a full-pledged Christian and never going anywhere else in my belief system forever. I nourish my faith by listening to the whole Bible verbatim on almost a daily basis. 

It's crazy how I'm doing with my life. With the lady friend who I have gotten so close to and is my buddy, she isn't someone I'm not interested in having as a partner so it makes me feel sad because I know the reason whenever she brings up a small discussion referring to my dating life. She doesn't have the qualities I look for in a partner, so I'm not attracted to her enough. However, these qualities are something I believe that any woman who is lacking can permanently gain if she wants to. I'm going to be progressive here and go with the right lady who already possesses them. 

Appearances don't really matter that much to me anymore. I have figured out the certain qualities in a partner I have preference over. These can work out to be part of the values I want in a partner, and they are close to non-negotiable. Therefore, I really do have a type and thankfully; they're common! I'm not really going to lay out too many of these qualities I want on here. 

This ends Part One. 

Getting to a Million Dollar Formula

I honestly feel like right now I may have stumbled upon a bleeding gold mine while trading the Forex market. I ended up running twenty trades overnight and they all ended up with a positive return in the afternoon. I made more than what I lost last month, after cashing in the majority of these trades. This is something I think I can repeat pretty consistently. 

I think I have a full system that's working in order effectively. It will even adapt to any market situation, while still being able to leave it as a swing trade. This might become easy money for me. It's also something I don't think I'll ever really commercialize either for more profit. I would rather just keep it my own thing that's like money growing on trees. 

I put in all this labor to figure it out, so I think I finally deserve to enjoy its riches which I consider myself blessed to have reached. I don't intend to really be vocal about this except just saying that I finally became a millionaire on my own terms.  

Understanding Dating Preferences

I think I'm a dime in a dozen when it comes to my acquired taste with dating. I'm not really that interested in appearances. 

I have learned that a woman's personality and good qualities can turn me on so much more than just admiring something hollow. This was verified to me with a photo of a physically attractive woman. I rate her as a 9 and could even be a 10. I didn't feel anything romantic or chemistry from the way she was positioning herself on the camera. From comparing it to a former coworker who is about a 5, I thought she was super hot because of her sweet personality and a few noticeably sexy body parts. I found out a little too late that she's single. It didn't work out between us unfortunately, but I think she really was someone right for me.  

Understanding My Strong Emotions

I seem to be one of those who imagines a lot of crazy things that could happen or go wrong randomly when I'm feeling so jumpy during my selfish visualizations. I admit that it can get violent in that I will scream in my imaginations and start pushing guys like my dad onto the floor and then scream in his ear how stupid he's being with me! I wish I could get away with it without having any effect on them, but it probably would maybe because it's so crazy and if I did it in a very weird fashion. 

I actually have been ballistic before, I think, but I don't really remember. It's this type of effect that I would want to happen, if I were to go all out with screaming someone's head off. I don't think it's necessary anymore from understanding my approach. 

It's also been making me a little sad to talk a little with a female friend about finding someone else to be partners with, since I'm not interested in her. She's mentioned that she really likes me a lot and has even told me enough reasons spread out over the years I've known her. She's also in a committed relationship with someone else right now. I don't think there's enough chemistry between us for something serious to ever happen. My response is to just be quiet about it right now and not show how I'm sad to talk about this with her. 

Maybe it would be better if she never said this is about me finding someone else besides her. She should probably keep that sentence to herself. Well, I'm not mad at her for mentioning this to me a lot. It just makes me feel a little sad about our situation. This could probably also be a good reason for why it would get awkward to some people about being good friends after they dated each other.

Communicating Softly By Feeling Things Out

I'm really going to have to start questioning things and playing by feel now instead of acting so dumb. I need to think quicker on my feet and maybe treat it like it's some sort of game. I guess I can relax at the same time as well. 

I'm going to have to just say anything and just let it go now. I now figured it out. Why should the former people I associated with really care about adding me back on Facebook? It doesn't matter to begin with. It's not like I'm right at their face bugging them to begin with. They are just being uptight about something that has nothing to do with me and they just decided to make it personal with me, so it's naturally going to be my business. 

Communication is really the key. 

New Form of Soul Searching

Now I'm pretty much looking for a mate to happily pass the time while in this world and hopefully raise kids who will make a very positive impact on others for what they believe in. I have chosen my faith, but I'm not going to force it down on them. I want them to choose it at their own discretion and maybe with some help from good teachers. 

I think I'll probably be doing a lot of praying over any worries and maybe even forget about how it's stressing me out over time because this is how I'm wired. I have found a person who is right for me and with no doubts now. 

For a long time, it was really a soulmate who I felt I could never be with. It's just that the soulmate thing is something that a lot of people attach naturally with strong emotions. It's pretty annoying to hear about it, when I don't think like that anymore with who I perceive to be a soulmate. Heck, I think the person I only met for a single date could be a soulmate for me too if we spent more time together. However, it's unlikely this will happen while thinking about it realistically. I know she's out there. I also don't think her personality and qualities are really all that unique. I think there's a general type that these women can be classified into and are people I might easily be able to fall in love with, if it's not unrequited for either of us! 

With a buddy who I've been turned on by with my biological functions, she doesn't appeal to me so much like that anymore. I rank her physical attraction as a 6 right now. It's probably never been that much higher than a 7, which is probably to my ideal liking. It's pretty strange in that I felt the same way often even when she was in tip-top form and guys were drooling over her inherent beauty. I still think marrying a 5 or 6 with wonderful personality and qualities that work for me will be no problem! I'll have no trouble at all with staying in a loving mood. 

The attraction with her has sort of rubbed off on me and when I think of her now, I know that she doesn't have enough qualities I look for in a partner. I think she should work on them and that it's possible she also has a form of autism because I'm totally not interested in pursuing her right now even though she has already questioned me doing that to her! Besides, if she had the awesome qualities I look for, she wouldn't go too crazy over it to begin with and realize that I'm very chill about just being buddies. What's even crazier is that a confirmed soulmate doesn't have the qualities I look for too right now. It's just my heart that tells me she is one since we've spent a lot of time together, and it feels like she has been going through a temporary personality change.

Maybe Figured Out Something Reliable and Profitable

It looks like putting in my time to swing trade is starting to pay off little by little. I'm starting to notice some patterns intuitively and just going at it. It's some sort of art form. It's also always subject to change as well. 

I'm looking forward to seeing a ton of profit it brings in the future. Pretty much, I'm going to be working out and also taking care of my appearance. To get something though, it's mainly about focusing on that. Everything else is pretty much extra and something you should do for fun. 

If a person is involved then there's going to be sometimes a collision. It's important to just communicate. 

Projecting to Get Wealthy

It looks like I'm building wealth slowly but steadily. As I climb up this pool of wealth from mainly just putting in my money at the right places and waiting patiently, I need to figure out what else I'm going to do to keep myself occupied since now I'm convinced that playing Poker a little too often isn't going to be a good idea for me.

I think I'm going to just read more and learn to be a better software developer and also go work out and work on everything else. 

With this whole dating process, I have finally realized a type I'm looking for. I'm still open to meeting others, but I've become more of a guy who cares about the personality and qualities a woman already has in terms of being a life partner. 

What I'm Trying to Accomplish During Free Time

I mainly have a few things that I would like to stay on top of right now during personal time. They are trading, working out, reading, hygiene, working on an online class, and working on getting taller! I also want to make a habit of drinking a cup of tea or coffee every evening because I want to stay up a little longer. 

It's pretty simple with what I'm looking for now, and I'm starting to see things a bit clearer than usual. For this evening, I will be working on getting ready for a weekend trip tomorrow. 

New Preferences With Love

I don't really have many preferences on appearances anymore. I normally have a personal rating system that I hardly share with anyone. I personally find that most people range from 5 to 7. I rank myself between 5 and 6. People close to me have rated me as 7 at best. I am also very comfortable dating women I find to be in this range and they have shown the most interest with me as well. 

There are even female friends who I used to rank higher having dropped in their score. Nowadays, when I see younger and prettier faces, I'm pretty nonchalant about it if I feel anything exciting about their looks. I have learned to control these shallow impulses quite a bit well.

I'm more turned on lately by admiring a woman's personality, character, and qualities. I'm basically looking at everything good on her inside. 

For my two biggest lady friends who are currently dating someone, I have discovered that they don't possess enough qualities I want in a partner. However, I am so laid back at the thought of hanging out with them. I'm probably never going to reveal this truth to them, unless they needle me for it. 

However, it's also possible that one of them could gain it later on if she becomes single again and then get me interested since she's already admitted to liking me a lot in one of our small spats. It really makes sense though that she would like me since we have already hung out often and are able to get along so well with each other's quirkiness while having some good laughs and sometimes challenging each other's views to bring out our better sides. For now, I only see her as a true buddy which I'm so grateful to have achieved from getting to know people. 

Learning While Dating Others

For all the small experiences I have with dates, I have confirmed it was just an official date while being all there mentally with only one person. It's also the first time I experienced the after effects of being interested on a confirmed date and realizing how I failed at it!

Still, I have been learning fast and I realize that communicating with my dating partner has been valuable. I struggled so many times but now I don't seem to have this hindering us. 

The main thing is talking about what you like about her as a potential partner and asking her what she thinks about you. 

Understanding Some Complex Feel Good Emotion

Something I've always wanted in the back of my mind was obtaining something that seems so far away to obtain but is right in front of me. It was becoming true friends with a cute girl of age! I found someone who I would date if she had enough qualities I look for in a partner but she's still lacking in that area. 

I'm not playing that game of believing she will change, if I pursue her. I'm going to play with what people are already going to give in person. I'm pretty laid back enough to figure that she could develop these qualities I want in the future, and I'm also willing to move on if she does while marrying the right person for her. 

For myself, I'm so happy that she's just a true close friend to me. It brings some good tears of joy! We definitely hang out often and share some good laughs while also challenging each other and ticking each other off sometimes. We have a solid relationship, overall. 

Promoting Something Good and Positive

I've realized that two tall white guys who are out of shape and look so ugly have removed me as a Facebook friend and then requested to add me again. I really don't mind because they took the liberty to request adding me again. I think they were jealous of me and going through some negative period to make them feel that way. I can have some compassion for them, even if this assumption is totally incorrect!

I'm the short guy who doesn't look ugly! They are the tall guys who look ugly! I guess we can mesh together while taking and removing something from each other. I think those tall guys can dramatically improve upon their appearances if they cared to work out and fix their diet, so naturally they could look like studs to so many hopeful ladies out there. 

What I have is the personality and temperament required for getting married to a lady who is my type. How I confirmed this is that I have already gone out on a first date with the right one. It was my first time which surprised me so much afterwards because I took it for granted and it didn't turn out well. 

She's been nice though and gave me some useful feedback to work on. I may try to hit her up again, after dating around a bit. It's that simple. It's also something that I can't explain too easily because it feels all natural and intuitive in a sense. 

Looking for acceptance on my Facebook was too crazy because it won't pay the bills and suck up a lot of positive energy from always being mad about not getting enough likes! I'm totally off of it and now I figure that whether my Facebook acquaintances care or not, I should post things on there that are important to me and have a really good message, which is usually about inspiring anyone to do something positive and have fun. It's about the quality over quantity for me which is unlike the soulmate who tries to do both but probably manufactures them with less quality! (She's a soulmate in secret now for life but I think dating my type will probably end up becoming a better soulmate.)

Putting in the Effort

A friend has admitted to me that she can't control her biological responses when she sees a very good looking man sometimes. Basically, she's making an excuse about being shallow without implying it at all to not feel bad about it and saying that it's just something women can naturally be born with in general. You sometimes have to listen to the person and it's how you communicate. 

It's important for the fully grown man to be a stronger vessel than the women he's around because it's just how the world is. From conversing with this pal, she eventually said that with the right person, preferences won't ever matter to you. She's cool about staying single though even if the right man never walks into her life. For being a single straight man, I have learned to become one of those rare guys out there who is happy to never be with anyone. 

I am content, even if I never find anyone to be with. However, just from being the person I am, I want to be constantly at my best while being happy if I'm still working at achieving anything, no matter how silly it might seem to me. I'm no longer feeling bad about constantly failing and see it as personal feedback to how I can keep on improving myself while turning the page. If I still enjoy it, then it only means that I'm meant to keep on progressing at it. For example, it must mean that I don't really enjoy gambling in Poker as much as I thought. 

I'm going to work out, take care of my appearance, and just be confident without needing to rely on anyone else for it. It's definitely a lifelong thing that I'm interested in doing, with a partner or not. It could turn into an advantage though with dating some women, but I prefer dating someone with better qualities. I'm not so hung up over appearances that much anymore and realize that a natural compatible personality along with enough qualities I look for in a partner will get me turned on. I'm also not looking to be with any single moms or ladies who have had a little too many serious relationships, which is my current preference. 

How I'm Personally Seeing My Female Friends

From having dated around a few times with some ladies who were serious about finding a husband, I already have a better understanding of what I'm looking for. It looks like I have been learning fast with my dating world because it's been necessary. 

With most of my female friends, they have been lacking somewhere in my partner preferences. I'm looking for someone decent and used to struggle with wanting a girl to look a certain way. I just don't care that much anymore. If she looks about a 5 to 7 out of 10 then I'll be happy if she has enough qualities I look for in a partner and has been single without too many serious relationships and no kids. 

What's helped me get over my personal shallowness about appearances is that I'm inspired from having grown up with lack of self-esteem over my height and appearance. I'm more indifferent about how I look. Heck, I even rate myself between a 5 to 6 most of the time. I think that's the general personal attitude I have over myself, no matter how much work I put into my appearance. Therefore, I'm interested in always being a 6 if possible because it's the best I can do. 

It totally makes sense that women around 5 to 7 have shown interest in me and even some of my female friends. It's just that they might have some baggage or be lacking in qualities or not have something within my preference. It's crazy because there's a variety of lady friends I would want to personally date, if they only had the right things I was looking for. I never really seriously pursued them either but I guess I'm lucky to be instinctually smart about holding off until I find out. 

It's helped build my character while enjoying staying single. Getting into a relationship will only be an enhancement but not a requirement to be content for myself. This is a tough pill to chew for most people. 

Finally, a Closing Message to Crazy Lee

You were yelling at me over stuff that didn't pertain to you and you
said you were trying to help. You weren't being helpful and then you
put up a restraining order and then complained about me bugging you in
court and couldn't explain that the document you made up was enough to
put a restraining order on me. It's legally not enough to do it, so
you intentionally withheld details.

You were being crazy and I think I have a case against you to
countersue if I really needed the money to go seek a therapist or
counselor. I managed just fine eventually.

I have communication under my belt and think you guys were all being
young and stupid with me. I don't think there's anything wrong with
just wanting you to accept a Facebook connection. Heck, you could even
adjust security settings.

You guys were just being really uptight and dealing with anger issues.
You guys show it by yelling at me in frustration and making up stuff
that doesn't make sense. If it's that bad, then turn me in to
authority. I accept it but you haven't and the consequences weren't
that bad.

You expected me to go out quietly, but it never happened. You were
just being incredibly wrong and I had a hard time talking through it
because it was confusing my brain so much and making me so angry the
whole time! I just stayed quiet while I was mad.

You just went completely ape crazy with me in person. It's such an
embarrassment that I think you guys have autism or something now that
you can't see things and have some tunnel vision. It's no wonder you
guys aren't sitting at the top after saying you guys think you know
more than me. You guys were being like selfish divas from feeling
something that had nothing to do with me and wasn't serious as well.
Someone should have stepped forward by now.

If I'm still making you guys react in this manner, then I think it's a
good time for you guys to still see a therapist. I'll be around just
to double check on you. I mean peace this time and have no problems
communicating your problems with me even around the people you care
about.

I have no qualms about coming across as rude just because you feel
that way. I'm just communicating very strongly and in a negative tone
my opposition with you in person. This has become personal now between
all of you and me.

Hope you guys get better though and learn to manage your angry
emotions in a much cooler fashion.

Always Making a 100% Effort

I think the only way to achieve this is to be mindful about it and then not stress yourself out about it, while completing tasks you have set up for yourself to achieve any purpose you have in mind. For a good example, I guess it makes sense that anyone can be mindful about having fun and just relaxing, which is a completely cool thing to do and how anyone can easily turn it into a habit. 

I'm interested in connecting with any woman out there now just to gain some experience with dating. I'm not really looking for anything serious to be honest and just want it to compliment myself with finding a good partner in the long run. 

Well, first things first is that I need to work on feeling more accomplished and then get comfortable with imagining myself on wedding day.  

Adapting to Better Methods

I'm constantly seeking a way right now to improve my standard of living. I'm basically doing this from trading in general. It looks like I'm switching more over to a swing trading method now and  relying on high timeframes so that I won't have to monitor the screens constantly. 

I'm looking forward to the day that I start killing it and won't have to come into any office anymore. I'm also ready to get married now to any decent looking girl. My preference is that I would like her to have an awesome personality and enough good qualities, while never having had any kids nor being in too many serious relationships and never married. 

All of my good female friends fall short of what I'm looking for. I don't have that many of them either. 

Best Teacher With Dating

I think the best teachers for dating are from the few ladies who I briefly dated and I was brave enough to ask them related questions to improve myself at it. One of them said it's about how you carry yourself. 

The other said to not ask them if you want to start off as friends, if you like them! I think I didn't communicate properly with the last one but that does sound like common sense. I told her that it's been a long time since I've dated. It seems like these few girls are actually serious about finding someone to be with, and I think that's how it should be. 

If someone's heart is not in it, then you shouldn't really be serious that you are going to change their mind in the first place. I now understand that a buddy's ex saying that he hates me for being a close friend to this girl was being stupid! My buddy never really had her heart seriously set on the relationship. I think I might have given her ex the wrong advice but I did have good intentions. I think playing it safe was the way to go but he got mad about it, so yeah, he was being stupid about it in the end. 

Being Patient About Getting Wealthy

I'm starting to see that making money is about waiting to see how it goes on a monthly basis, especially when it comes down to investing and trading. So far, I have been able to put a lot of energy into it and it's starting to formulate into an informal system that I keep to just myself. I'm analyzing the chart and coming up with a decent strategy that works and will make money in the long run. Nothing is for certain though, but as long as the strategy averages out into something reliable, it's something that can really be ongoing. 

The rule of thumb that I'm teaching everybody interested in me is that you have to be able to understand how much you're risking. You have to imagine how comfortable you would be if you ended up losing it all. You don't really know what's going to happen but you can manage the amount that you can lose and at how much volatility. It really comes down to how comfortable you are with managing your money. Everybody will be different.

A friend's mom was asking me about getting started and I advised her not to do what other successful friends are telling her because the results may vary. It's pretty much being as smart as possible and being patient about gaining riches. This is pretty much about making a living. 

My Private View of Some People With Autism

I have a private view about soulmates too. The soulmate I'm referring to is not considered to be my soulmate by most people's standards in this world. She is to me in my heart, so I'm just not going to bring it up with anyone because I'm not interested in being with her at the moment! It's weird right? People say she's not my soulmate and I'm not interested in her, but I still see her as a soulmate.

Well, anyway, I think this soulmate of mine has a form of autism! I say this because she says she's aware of stuff while acting in a very offensive manner to me while she wasn't able to pick it up that it was very off putting to me. What she did was just tell my short buddies and me in person that she's not interested in dating short guys. What's weird is that she was also in one of her rebounds from a failed serious relationship and came onto me like she was in heat! Man, it was so weird. It feels like she was on her monthly quite often because she sounded so cranky all the time.

Well, this soulmate of mine who I think developed a form of autism is also not the most wonderful person in the world because of her being how I described it. From finally going on a date with a person I'm interested in while we both confirmed it was a date after, it's really been an eye opener. 

Optimizing Time Well Spent

I'm starting to understand the proper strategies to apply. They are of course ethical and well-intended. 

Playing online Poker for real money is actually a fun game for me, and I do have a goal which is to profit a certain amount each day but the time varies to get to it. A set time is something I don't really have any control over and feel is necessary to have to enjoy a good life. 

Therefore, I can't rely on it anymore to make a living no matter how much I have an urge to make it one. It goes against my very well-being. I think the smart thing to do for killing some time then is to read and complete advanced courses related to software development.

Dealing With Difficult Personalities

We all have people in our lives who sometimes act like they suck in carrying themselves in whatever our relationship is to them. I am able to do so well and outshine a bunch of people because I'm just better at feeling that way and putting a lot of focused effort into it naturally. It's the confidence that I have been waiting for that finally arrived for me. 

Something new that I've learned is that some people's qualities just suck and are totally lacking. It's because of these qualities that make the desire of wanting to be with some ladies undesirable. It's a deal breaker for me. It's crazy because I never thought of it like this before. I'm so much more about the qualities and personalities of women now because their physical appearances don't really amount to much personal attraction for me anymore. I'm a lot older and all I'm reminding myself of is that I'm looking at a very beautiful outward shell with some of them. Of course, if some of them really worked on it and became so much better than my mind could change in an instant. However, I don't count on this happening overnight and there are plenty of ladies out there who may already be someone right for me. 

I've learned that I am pretty confrontational so I have no fears of being this way anymore. If the person I'm confronting can't put him or herself in motion to make you happy, then it's because he or she has some type of autism. I mention autism because it's like a fixed way of thinking the person has wired him or herself to be like from a natural setting. I've learned to be quite open minded and also a lot better at communicating which is the key to all of this. 

In conclusion, Crazy Lee and some of her mates are really people to me who have a form of autism. They have qualities that they can work on, but don't see it as necessary because they don't agree with me. It's pretty much viewing it as them having a form of autism whether it's temporary or not in a one-sided manner. 

From coming to this acceptance, it's now easier to strategize how to communicate with them on the spot without any preparation. I just know that my direct communication is an asset that will work to my favor. 

Personal Tricks I've Learned About Dating

The first thing I've learned about dating is to figure out what the girls you are dating are mainly looking for. It was weird that my parents signed me up for a format where we are supposed to meet each other and then become spouses.

Anyways, I'm part of it now and I was just treating it like it was originally not a real date so I wasn't being serious about it. I was just having fun and getting to know people. I wanted to hang out with these girls again because they are decent but they were like no because there's no chemistry!

I now know that it's because I wasn't flirting with them. The main thing is to flirt with them by telling them things you like about them with what you see in a life partner. The next thing is to let them openly discuss how they feel about your differences. These two things are what I wasn't doing enough of and it's something I just didn't think about because I wasn't being serious enough. 

Everything else like taking care of your appearance is nice and should be done at the best level you can do for yourself. I now understand that real dates are about doing these types of deals, but the most important is doing the first two things I mentioned just previously.

Oh I get it. It's crazy. I was thinking about it all wrong but then I ended up meeting a person who is right for me. She ended up helping me set things straight, even though I messed up our date! I'm not really embarrassed about it or anything. I'm ready to make progress and I'll be trying to get another shot at her after a while if I don't find anyone else.

Mature Revelation

***This is something I recently sent to my peers.***

"I was really shy to mention this and maybe it was because of my stubborn attitude about wanting to be so manly and holding onto so much silly pride.

You guys crossed the boundary and kept on egging me with advice that was bothering me. I influenced you guys to stop and this was by complaining enough with annoying texts or messages that you couldn't understand but knew something was bad. I was so shy and angry at the same time trying to let it all out but couldn't so the emotion would never go away for a while. I was too angry and selfish about something to even go get help and so motivated to make it happen. It was right under my nose.

At least I influenced you guys to stop even if it meant you to forcibly cut off communication with me. My doors are open for chatting anytime you feel comfortable. I will continue to respect your space with anything you feel angry and selfish about." 

Intended meaning:

I need to communicate with you in person that you never were meant to give me any advice since you decided to cut off communication. Experts never need to do that. Also, I need to tell you that I will respect your space from still feeling angry and selfish about anything dealing with me about this. I'm lucky to have finally discovered that I have my main need already met with you cutting off communication and desiring to move on. 

I Will Find Her

I don't care how long it takes me but I will someday meet the one even though I just let one slip by me! This might take me longer than I thought but it's great that I'm about to talk to a trusted lady friend who knows a lot about dating. She pretty much says that there's nothing I can do about it. 

I just have to keep on trying, until I find someone who is into the whole package with me. I'm going to have to just start asking questions relating to our relationship status. It's going to be supposedly uphill from here, but I'm ready to move forward. 

Improving Upon Dating

For my third date, I thought I had this one in the bag but I totally botched it up. It wasn't my best moment to shine and she was definitely the right one to try to start a family with. What's great is that she was good about being honest with me and helping clear up some misunderstandings I had with her. 

I think she was the one, but I botched it up so it's back to the drawing board. I totally screwed this one up and looks like I'm at the hands of a sad matchmaker who doesn't understand what I'm doing wrong with these awesome women I'm able to go on a date with.

At least it was a good experience and I'm glad that I need to get better with connecting and pursuing a romantic relationship. I think it's time to try it again.