Ideas To Manage

I'm reading the Bible and finding it to be a very helpful source of encouragement for me now. I am putting my faith in Jesus even more confidently now, from reading the Bible. It also has helped me to see that the names I mentioned about on this blog who go to Hope of God Church LA were being wrong in how they were behaving with me in a Biblical sense! Haha. It's a good thing I'm laughing about it because it's helping me forgive them completely.

I'm realizing that I have some guts to become a successful Forex trader; I really like day trading and based on following some intellectual research a group has done, I've found out that their system can actually work quite well. I'm feeling really confident about picking up on it and that it will be a gateway to financing other great things to have a more diverse portfolio.

Wow, I'm seriously thinking about trying out an internet business, Options trading, and investing some on a savings account and then combine all of these strategies to just have to work a couple profitable hours a day. Would I be able to teach what I know? Sure, I might just have room to teach a couple very interested people just that I could also do things a little too unconventional that gets it done, which might keep a person from learning what I have become good at. Man, obtaining wealth through a smart means also has to take responsibility into account and so I'm donating at least 10% of my income yearly now. I won't be surprised if the amount I donate could boost a poor country's economy haha. 

Many Possibilities From Having Passion

Obviously, some things like making money while working for someone is not really my cup of tea. I never really knew what my computer science degree was going to be good for, especially while not really have any motivated inspiration to get something completed. I was more trying to live in the flesh with video games and watching movies. After living that out moment after moment, it feels like I could have lived out wasting twenty years under just three years; that's how active my brain was. Haha. I did all of that while staying up all night to just barely pass my college courses. It became more like a pass or fail situation; move on and forget kind of deal back then, so with all of that natural bottled up stress working against my desire to just not do anything, I gave into doing something and that's where I ended up today.

I'm not a proud achiever of understanding how the porn industry works, too. Just making fun of myself while the time goes by. I read from a Christian book that some women struggle with that whereas a bunch of other females think porn is nasty. Haha. I'm not going to talk about a woman's sexual psyche on this blog or really cover that- I think I'll keep that mainly a secret with what I know and wish I never knew. I'm still in the mood for respecting good, kind-hearted women so that being said, I think girls around me do want to strive to be good even though they can't control their emotions that well as a well-brought up man can sometimes. I'm understanding how to be more caring and forgiving of other females who have moments of becoming out of character. It's really hard to do this when life is confusing and really giving you the chills; I've found out that having good laughs and honesty really helps to be loving to others.

This is why it's getting easier for me to see how Betty Lam (Hope of God Church, Los Angeles) wants to be portrayed to others and what her discomforts are about even though she can't tell me on the spot. I want to be a good friend to Betty, and I forgive her moments of indecency with me; it may have been annoying me a lot but on the long run, it isn't really that serious as I made it out to be in the first place- I just did that because I wanted to focus all my attention on pleasing Betty, which seems impossible at first but not so hard once you've grown from the trial and see her coming out. I can sort of believe she could be a special person to me because we've had to bond over the last couple years with all of that tension. Good thing, I really didn't try to marry her and I feel happy about my independence right now based on me thinking about her. Haha. There are a lot of good women out there, so a lot of beautiful fish are out there for the ideal man who knows how to fish for the most valuable one.     

Cultural Barrier Thought

Well, I was checking my e-mail and then I saw an e-mail that was supposedly addressed from the pastor Chai over at Hope of God Church. We had an e-mail dispute awhile back. It was basically about him selling a laptop that he bought on a website. Haha. It seems sort of rude to do that, in my opinion; that's why I believe that his e-mail account could have been compromised because it also listed some personal and confidential e-mail addresses on it. Now that I think of it, it really could have been from Chai's personal e-mail because of the plausible affiliations he listed. Hey, I'm going to be rich but I don't need to buy to help when I could just give freely to the poor! 

This also makes another case to me that if these guys are irresponsible like that, then why even care so much about me writing a pointless e-mail in the first place and then argue with me about it which had no point. This gets me thinking about a cat meowing over claiming me as its territory, as an image, and getting to try to strut its stuff with me. Well, the cat got scared with me and tried to take cover; it's probably feeling stupid about it now.

Another cross of interpretation that I momentarily considered was that Thai people have a way of communicating respect and apologizing by trying to do business with a person they wronged? Haha. It means they are without any shame in doing it and trying to see if they can make money out of it. Lee also e-mailed me a business proposition too, which was weird a while back. I didn't reply to her e-mail because I'm not supposed to get in trouble for that and the feeling of abuse from her is so minimal even though all sides might believe what she did was wrong. If this version about Chai is true, then he had some influential problems with other pastors or maybe that's what did happen in addition to me. Or maybe he's just mixing it up with mostly good people and including me along- I saw a female's e-mail address and believe the person would call herself a pastor, which I detest against out of using Biblical reference / if the Bible had said anything otherwise, I would consent to a woman being a senior pastor but it teaches against it; godly women are submissive according to the Bible and very lovely too, I should add and would be protective of my godly wife. 

I'm honestly sticking to version one because I think that's the most American way of thinking it. I think Thai people also like Koreans for some reason, short or tall; they must like most of them. Haha- Koreans can safely party at Thailand because of their conservative image and religious zeal which they must sort of respect. 

Staying On Track

I'm pretty much ready for some more repeated trials and feel very ready to act on it properly if the same thing pretty much happens again. My personality just doesn't seem to find fulfillment in working for someone, no matter how secure it is. I really want to be able to call the shots and become successful over it. I would like to make this financial success a repeated thing and then continue specializing over different income generating methods and actually have profit over them.

If I keep on generating profit, then eventually I'm never going to have to worry about financial things again.  I don't care about becoming filthy rich and can care less about feeling snotty over becoming richer than 95% of Americans. I just want enough to handle things moderately, without having to put so much time into it. Because I'm following in the footsteps of great minds who have already paved the path, I believe that I do have a millionaire mindset and that I will be passing that range someday.

I have also read about people sometimes not being that careful and blowing off their whole account. Believe me, I know how to do it ten times the amount those people have done, so I'm not going to do those things anymore in real applications. Out of just practice from nothing being at stake, I do it for fun and see where it would take me - maybe, a million dollar loss. I'm planning on implementing a whole lot of creative techniques to manage a huge financial account without really having to work under anybody's wings and having a lot more time to do other important things.

For the time being, I'm not going to try to force myself to make money. I'm just going to work on things that I like doing and fortunately, it may become very profitable for me. I pretty much like the idea of setting up personal financial systems that generate profit- the only way for me to do well in it is to do a lot of research and suffer through the agony of finding them. It becomes very rewarding when it finally kicks in and generates profit while you get to enjoy cruises and fancy dinners or even afford a quality of life with lots of kids... I believe that I won't even be able to teach everyone how I do things to make money and that they may have a hard time understanding what I'm doing, so even if I'm honest about how I did things and some people manage to make profit over it, I'm still not depressed about it because I like looking for different financial opportunities. Maybe I'll be able to write a book about how I do things to make money, and people may still feel hazy about looking into it because of it's general independent nature and being so highly demanding of time and suffering with not knowing what's going to happen with lots of money.  I'm still going to have skeptics, even if I were to make a blue print of how to make a million dollars. 

Black Friday

I guess I'm typing away figuring that Black Friday has pretty much passed already. I think it appeals more to the working class rather than rich people. If I was rich, then I wouldn't really think just 50 - 100 dollars off would be that much of a difference; it really did when I was a college student back then. I don't remember what I bought, but people were all lined up and I thought I went early. Man, it annoyed me with the weather being cold at first and then getting hot while standing in line. I even went with my sister; I did a lot of wacky things to my sister, but she still went along with me in some of my adventures. She was mostly quiet with me and then sometimes would surprise me by talking so loud all of a sudden in an angry voice to other people, while I saw her from a distance.

I experienced this phenomenon quite often back then- good times even though I was suffering over hypochondria. That's probably what made me funny or made others jealous with me but still easier to get along with. A friend has described me as someone who likes to fall in love wherever I go. Haha. When he took me to Hope of God Church in Los Angeles, it was one of those interesting times where I thought about falling in love too but felt like saying "Maybe, not this time."

I have some weird theory about Chris Kuch (Hope of God L.A.) confusing me by ordering me to not talk to girls but that I can still say "Hi" to them. Hello (?)- that's still talking to them and he was like "I'm better than you. We know everything." Actually, no he didn't. I just stayed quiet and let them be so weird with me even though I was naturally mad at them. I'm not so physically angry with them anymore because the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to laugh about their folly. Chris K saw me saying hi to an attractive girl and she responded really well- he was astonished with me and was like good job to me. I think that's why Chris told me to just say hi to Annie and Betty.

More confusion arose when Lee (a girl not a man haha) told me to avoid talking to Betty, but maybe she did that because she liked me? I can sort of see beautiful, Christian females not really judging others by their looks and mainly feeling into them by their actions now. Lee was not really being pretty or beautiful with me or anything- just saying that's what I discovered now from doing some research about Christian dating. Chris is not the best looking guy or that tall compared to me (call me 5' 2" - I say) and he married someone who I respect upon like a close sister who I believe has it all that a faithful man would want.

Happy Thanksgiving

Okay the post was something I put up just so I could reference. It's something I would personally read so that's how I designed it. If I really didn't have the Bible, then I would really be at my wit's end in finding a soul mate. Obviously, there are those really special women who come around once in awhile and don't really judge you based on your looks. I wish I did have everything people wanted and then choose that girl in the end. Oh well, this is how life was made for me and the life cycle will just be that way whether I become a part of it or not.

Regardless of feeling how corrupted the world is or how much I should be sucked into this mess of feeling jealous or filled with hypocrisy and end up making stupid decisions, I should still respond to it under my faith and love in Jesus. I don't really want to respect women who fancy taller and more handsome guys but what can I do about it. It really seems like a girl would have to be crazy enough to be able to marry a midget instead of the tall, handsome, and strong man. I guess there's a lot of social pressure for a woman to stand by an ideal man in marriage and that they feel really comfortable in that type of guy whose committed. That's just the way God must have designed women. Even though I don't want to, I'm going to be accepting of a woman who she wants to be in a relationship with; if we're supposed to be friends then that might make things messy between her and me, if I really need to mess with her and then there comes the multiple restraining orders which I don't even need to stay away from her. I feel content saying or expressing whatever I need to with a girl, who hates me, to my heart's content and then leaving her alone. About Lee (a guy's name, but a girl who goes by that nick), I don't know if she hates me; I think it's the opposite even though she put a restraining order on me; I was never interested in chasing after her, so I don't know what her problem was with me individually. I think she did it because she wanted to invoke a multiple restraining order with Annie and Betty and the church she goes to being a part of it. The judge didn't allow for it, so she sort of missed out. I'm actually more experienced in this area of restraining orders because I did a lot of research on it and can get it off even when everybody says I can't now. If they want me to prove it, I will confidently through action and it will look like the law doesn't favor them that much. I've decided to take off the restraining order another time and let it ride. It's not permanent and that's what they were going for; if I wait to the end then everything they said about me becomes wrong, and they will be crippled in a spiritual sense because I'm not bothered by it at all and only improved by them being bad with me. They can be the judge for themselves and laugh about how wrong they were later. I'm laughing a lot harder than them, so I get the last laugh and end up more successful on my journey- not bad. I'll be ready if anybody dumb enough wants to do that to me again.

About this whole women liking taller men thing, it's true! Haha, I'm so short compared to most women who have the height of regular men especially Caucasians and Blacks. I don't even come close to my dad's height whose about 5' 7" so that makes me short. I don't know why they don't classify me as a midget and put me on this border line of being short or normal. I have a wide torso and big foot and does not come from being so fat; that's all genetics but I still remain short. Haha, I'm under thirty and male and laughing about this dilemma of being short and women wanting taller guys for dating. There are even grandmas who stick to what they want at the age of 80. Just go to match.com!  My mom still wants me to get married, have kids, and lead a good life despite this discrepancy of women wanting taller men to date. I believe that is my mom's fulfilling wish with me and pretty much must be naturally for any mother's kids. My mom must be trying to ignore the bad things again and trying to encourage me to be more outward. I don't want to vent and look like an idiot whose hell bent on power like Napoleon or Genghis Khan or even Attila the Hun. Those three were considerably short, too and they failed to take over in their reign. Probably the way I raised myself causes me to be outside the box. I guess with me wanting to cry over being so short in the past might have been an okay reason to mourn about.  I just wanted to increase my chances in marrying a woman who could potentially turn into a really good person and not just pretty. It looks like I might not have very many options based on what I found out. Haha. 

Happiness is bottled up in many different forms and life is set up to disappoint you with some things. The Bible really encourages me to still take heart and to carry out my current situation. The Apostle Paul commemorates marriage and thinks it's wonderful- he believes it's just as great too in deciding to stay single. The world, especially my mom's side, sees marriage as a very strong component over being single. The Bible states that being single could be better than marriage for a different sets of reasons. I think mothers should really relax on the topic of marriage and let their son or daughter be the key decision maker over what their relationship status is going to be all about. If being short deters me from entering marriage and I want to but I learned to accept it and go on to never marry, then that's good too in God's eyes. Haha.

Overall, if I become successful, because of the way I sound on telephone or usually sing (pretty deep voice) or body structure (broad shoulders and larger foot than an average 6 foot woman) maybe people will be surprised into thinking that I would have been taller in their minds. Place me wherever you want, call me to be at 5' 2". Haha. I'm still going to be helping people out in their health even if they want to make short jokes about me. I'll be working out too; I can potentially have big muscles; hey short girls run the Iron Man Challenge too.

Work At Home Jobs

There's a warning I would like to issue out:


EVERYBODY IS SAYING, DON'T PAY A COMPANY TO BE A PART OF IT.


Medical transcriptionists have positions where they get to work from home and schedule their own work hours. This job also has limited interaction with people. The best programs with possible financial aid can be found here:
http://www.mtecinc.com/our-programs/medical-transcription-editing.html
http://transcription.andrewsschool.com/

I have found out there is a job to be an online tutor which allows you to be at home, but may not be that flexible in hours.

Big internet companies might be hiring writers to help out with submitting articles.

Accounting / Bookkeeping jobs can also be found online and might offer a stay-at-home job; I'm not sure about this because I have a friend who is working as an accountant with a bank.

Computer programmers / I.T. professionals might also get a leverage to work at home, if the company allows it.  

Some people also can learn to be a day trader which is what I'm doing right now. Trading is considerably risky business and takes a long time to master; I'm still trying after about 4 months into it- I'm doing better than the majority of people because I have netted about 300% profit of initial capital in the last two months. It's considerable change so far. I'm looking into those jobs with also a medical career (people-oriented) because I like to wear a lot of different hats. Day trading is so far my ticket to riches and I may have to drive a truck around for a year or two to have enough money set aside to invest heavily on what I'm good at. I'm seriously not going to have that much people contact and be cut off from the world if I drive a long haul truck around which is going to suck. I'll figure out something if I can get a good wireless internet connection with a very top-of-the-line laptop on the truck.

Roasting Turkey / Job Condition

The Internet is pretty great for finding turkey recipes- my sister e-mailed me this recipe from Alton Brown of the Food Network; it's been living on as a legend for looks like 5 years based on some comments I whipped through. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/good-eats-roast-turkey-recipe/index.html

This looks like the traditional good-looking and juicy turkey recipe, so I'm going to join in with the many who have rated it as the best.  An alternative recipe I looked at was Rosemary Roasted Turkey- http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Rosemary-Roasted-Turkey-2/Detail.aspx - Now, moving on to job searching.

There is a job that requires hardly any human interaction and is a pretty secure job, which also allows you to work from home. I knew about it back two years ago and it just got recently promoted by a Yahoo article- medical transcriptionist. http://education.yahoo.net/articles/jobs_for_haters.htm?kid=1ATWU

A couple of my friends are accountants too which also has more time needed on a spreadsheet rather than talking to clients. A computer programming job is another which I have quite a bit of background in - being that my degree is heavily emphasized on software engineering. I'm actually attracted to these jobs for some reason, even though I tend to like to be social. I guess I like to separate making profits from people who I'd rather socialize with. My goal is to have a background in four areas eventually- computer technology, mathematics, medical science, and business.

About studying physical sciences briefly, I guess I don't mind memorizing what works now and going along with theories researchers have conjured up over a long generation- I'm still not that convinced about human evolution from natural selection. There's really no evidence yet about slightly genetic variation that progressed with significant stages over billions of years- in other words, I think humans are still a relatively new species because of its specific intelligent design compared to other primates. With humans being able to reason from the heart or to attempt to visualize unknown circumstances, I believe that humans could have been created by God for a purpose from a scientific and philosophical standpoint. I do concur with natural selection in simpler life forms and think it's cool when a gene finds its way to alter its genetic population.  

Looking For The Impossible

What I'm pretty good at doing is just moping around while researching on the different types of jobs and worrying about the bad parts about it. For myself, I don't really involve myself with people that much if it comes to being a part of a business; I hate the idea of being tied to making money by servicing people- some people are good at it and enjoy it, but for me I pretty much hate it. I'm not nervous about doing it or anything, just don't want to and I've tried forcing myself which left me with quite a bit of anxiety, so it's not for me.

Everything that I want to do is with me calling the shots. The only reason why I would work for money is if I'm part of an interest group with some friends- like programming video games. If it's obviously the greatest game ever created, then I would feel lucky and hope to not get cheated by losing profits with it, so it's just being about doing what I love doing ultimately. I'm currently with this feeling that I need to live pay check after pay check. My parents have a great business and I want nothing to do with it because I'm not passionate about working 50+ hours and worrying about money all the time. I hardly ask my parents for money because I want to make it out there on my own.

Establishing comfort among friends or enemies who turn submissive with you and then become your friend is really cool for me. One of my friends who likes to cling to me which is a nice feeling, makes some irritating comments but become funny after thinking about them. I used to feel that I was irritating others not on purpose but just that maybe something was up that I couldn't master and I felt this total digression which left me feeling a lot of anxiety, just because it was around these people who were being so irritated. If I act natural and yell at them, then they wouldn't show those signs with me anymore and totally try to distance themselves with me; I would also hear some comments that they are not really that pleasant people too. Judging from these details, I believe they are just going through something stressful that they can't handle very well and become a jerk about it which is what an average person might naturally hate. In general, it's because they are acting like a loser. I know how to deal with these people and avoid stupid and callous things with them now- I actually knew how to get people to give me the right response because I was good at doing that, just that I had a hard time seeing what was happening inside of them. I have a better discernment of people being weird with me now and know how to limit it to the amount that I want because it's dealing with me individually almost all the time. I don't mind people trying to rattle me now and feeling some sympathy for them and still limiting them from doing weird things like that now; I can do this 24-7 and have fun with it so they're out of luck with me.

These people are the ones who are funny in a very bad way and also quite weird and keeping things to themselves and so self-seeking while attaining a very bad and low quality appearance- I already mentioned who they are on this blog; Chris K, Betty L (still going to be nice with her and take care of the others who don't want me to be nice with her), Jarred T (why two r's?), Darunee Lee Wong (why can't see express liking me in the best way), Annie T (man, she was so weird and I still understand where she was going with it now), Golf (he knows that he was wrong), and Chai (the pastor is pretty non-leader oriented which might mean havoc to the church very cyclically). I can lead these men and women effectively even though they showed me a piece of their dark side.

Rules Of Engagement

Okay, I'm starting a new post- I'm getting pretty close to 365 mark with posts now. If I go a little over next month, then I'm taking a day off so I stay at 365! It should be a leap year in the next 2 years, then I will do 366 posts.  I didn't know that a leap year existed until some grade in elementary.

Right now, I'm going to look for doing a temporary job to do during the weekends. I really hate driving, giving customer service, and computer jobs right now because I'd rather work on things that interest me and not just for all the money; I don't want to spend so much money unless I'm following my heart because I don't have that much to invest right now. 

Aside from a sick road that I could take which I won't mention, I do like teaching or fixing stuff for a job. That's it, to build some more bankroll for my business, I could do the trades that I like during the week and then work part-time during the weekends (F-Sun) with stuff that interest me. I'm a church goer because I need to have that spiritual encouragement so if not Sunday, then there's another day of the week I could attend church because I go to a big one anyway.

Exploring Interests Part 3 (grand finale)

Okay this continuation is now getting boring. This is just like any of my other posts; it just rubs off of you later even though it seems pretty cool to discover something and then create laughs for a little bit. All right, I'm pretty much ready to end this title now and move on to another topic. I seem to have a backtracking potential in my thoughts so much that it bugs the heck out of my mom, who positions herself to liking to forget about bad things that happened. I actually journey into my subconscious brain and in my way can do self-hypnotizing which is sweet because I'll find myself becoming Batman the next day- just kidding. The stuff I recall way back in my flashback is like motivation to relax and go into a state of hypnosis; I am sometimes like this while talking and then when someone yells at me, I'm like "WRAHH!" back at them and they pretend to get all nonchalant while I just keep talking and don't give them any more chances to say something. Yes, I know how to be witty or whatever the goodness I feel like doing with people no matter how confused they become now. The major prevention technique is to just be honest, even if you want to call yourself a jerk from stating the fact about yourself.

Okay, I'm starting to hate watching T.V. which is similar to a bigamist hating very attractive and sweet women-  I like those types of women, don't get me wrong, I'm just starting to hate the 50-inch HDTV flat-screen with high quality stereo (expensive Bose speakers that are projected all over the living room). It also features a comfortable couch that you can sleep on, if the wife wishes to oust you from your bedroom (about an 8-footer in length).  Sure, there are times when the World Series, World Cup, World Olympics, World Superbowl, etc. occur on T.V. which is like where everyone is glued onto there. The Bible mentions about people sticking their noses up to the world by watching it on T.V. during the apocalyptic times. Sure, the news will break out all of a sudden when another forest fire creates mayhem and panic with the Americans.

On and on and on... yes ... I'm so boring...

I think it's better to get lost in a video game world then watch a dumb rerun on a fashion channel. Man those guys who fight to stay alive on the discovery channel is something that I want to do, if I have a rocket pack strapped behind me, so I'll exit and be "Sayonara" to the headshrinkers err indigenous people. I'm learning to become a rich -bleep- -bleep- yes all you jealous types, I'm putting my head into the game and participating because you don't want to do it. I'm making a living out of counter-trends where I watch the economy swing high to low and vice verse and just watch time fly by at the comfort of my home. It's pretty much capitalizing on a timed cycle, so that means I get to share in making profits during the fun and bad times with the whole wide world. Now, that's flexibility and getting a piece of the pot.

Exploring Interests Part 2

Growing up hasn't really been that rough on me actually- I was more like a hypochondriac ha ha because of those panic attacks occurring from trying to get good grades and please my grandpa or parents who sort of influenced me to do it for being successful and happy. I really owe some credit to my grandpa; he really wanted his nephews to study hard and become a doctor.

I remember this guy who was a paraplegic talking about how he wanted his kids to do nothing but study, and I was like didn't you not study that hard and mess around too much; in a way, it seems to be so hypocritical which makes it hard to influence a child to push himself to excellence. My mom was pretty much the same way too and seems to have been pretty lazy about studying or had some type of depression in her life that caused her to not succeed that well. She grew up as a tom boy and felt her place in time was a little unfortunate.

Becoming a doctor would seriously be a lot of hard work and something that I would take pride in doing. I was just lacking in confidence to do things and with whatever I set my mind out to doing, I eventually got around to finding out a way to get it done. Striving is such a wonderful force to encompass. Now that I think about it, I believe that my grandpa just wanted all of his favorite grandsons to grow up to be compassionate and diligent adults- I was one of his favorite too and probably the most loved by him.

I'm grateful that I've managed to become older with a head on my shoulders- I'm still at a beautiful and young period in my life. I wish I could keep it steady with what I have and eventually, all people are going to have to make some difficult decisions no matter how weird they are and try to annoy you about it. I play like I could seriously be the X-factor or even be the guy who can't be relied upon but well-liked at the same time. I have the ability to do whatever I want and get away with it without ever being seen as evil even though some of it is not recommended for regular people.

There are so many choices to make in my life. I'm really glad I also found a higher calling dealing with establishing relationships- it's going to be vital in my walk; there's a woman who I truly admire and see her as a close sister still which is really healthy for me. I hope to marry an attractive girl someday at this nice church I attended when I was first introduced to sharing and my favorite cousin who was an aggressive joker- I used to whack him on the stomach probably hoping he wouldn't get fatter than me even though he is now; hey, I was fat too growing up; I thought it was so cool too. I would wrestle with my weight and prey on lighter friends and play so sick to probably make them cry- I made a bigger boy than me cry once. He also made me cry too so we're even. I will continue this again tomorrow.

Exploring Interests

I'm just calling this one a goal searching or brain storming post. One of my major problems that I have is not having enough self-control internally and just losing it all together. This issue has been getting fixed on its own through me being aware of it and also accepting it as a weakness- I no longer feel this anxiety, which is temporary at the wrong time, that leaves me feeling powerless and unassertive.

T.V. is just feeling so repetitive for me now- movies are a little better for me to enjoy occasionally. It must be from seeing a lot of cartoons and reruns as part of my routine unwittingly. Some smart people in the culture with some alluring, intellectual style are mentioning that the news is better stated in writing.

If I'm going to follow my heart, I just want to continuously make jokes now and goof off on this blog. I'm also being honest because I really needed to practice it and paying for a psychiatrist is going to be too much money. I asked a weird person who has his angry moments, Jarred Daniel Taing, over at Hope of God Church- he must be like "Whoa, hey... what the" but he really was being weird if I tell the whole story which I don't mind doing in front of his face and everybody listening- I'm also going to defend myself if he loses himself so he's going to straight to jail in the end- I mean to say it as a figure of speech in literal terms. I don't want to bust out a martial arts kick that will leave him breathless because he doesn't work out- so I asked Jarred for some money to go see a psychiatrist because he kept on aggravating me to go see one and the cheap guy was asking me about if I had any insurance. They were being cheap and annoying and yet trying to remain really corny with me. Oh well, he was just not being a good person at the moment. I think it's going to affect his decisions when he becomes a parent someday, if he ever gets that far with himself. It's also good to relax in life, so parenting someone like himself could be very likely for him to do if he wants to.

Okay, nothing to hide absolutely for me. Let's see I've been going back and forth with this whole truck driving incident to make some money. I do have a passion for the road and wouldn't mind sharing it with a partner which is what some driver professionals do. It's also profitable and better than doing nothing at the house all day. I've been successful with my investment choices so far and haven't wasted a lot on the ones that weren't going to cut it compared to others. I've been pretty much middle of the road in paying for fast tracking myself to making profits, and I'm making a decent amount of cash so far hardly doing anything right now.

I'm on a bust with lack of cash in the short term right now- being a truck driver would obviously solve that and put money in my pocket to store up for making more looser and profitable investments. Two things are really keeping me from settling down right now- lack of financial stability and lack of confidence in my appearance (I want to make myself grow taller, which seems too impossible but I still frolic around with in my research and exercises). These issues are pretty much what I'm going at right now in solving and so truck driver could seriously be a boring task and make me feel like burning up inside. My life in settling down deals with me being successful and I'm the type whose going to commit himself to never looking back if I don't do it. I will continue sharing my thoughts on this same matter tomorrow.

Growing Up

A large part of growing up seems to be what stimulates our minds. I wish I was largely stimulated from reading books, ha ha. I was usually forcing upon myself to read a book to just study and never got the hang of it for reading just for fun. I realize that I have bought a lot of books related to what I thought would be fun, but then the thoughts of reading a book kick in, and it gets hard again to finish a boring book and sort of wonder if I should have bought the book. Oh well, I don't seem to have that problem anymore and think it was just pressure on myself to get to financial stability.

Out of this longing for financial stability, I have found something that requires little time to be highly productive. If you can guess what it is, then you are a really smart and rare breed to the world. Knocking that anxiety off from working on something I actually really enjoy developing on and establishing a profitable business has been fun. I get more time to socialize which is pretty nice and might contribute to meeting someone who could be right for me in settling down with. I remember when being part of a quasi-spiritual group (San Gabriel caregroup at Hope of God Church, L.A.) was all fun and okay, this one cute person whose not part of the group said that it's about realizations- I was like wow, that's really simple and concise. In a supporting way, I believe that growing up is about getting into realizations. The weirdness or craziness factor that some people have from thinking like losers is something that I'm always going to be a part of, and I never thought I would create a useful tension with these women, which I'm not really giving any thought into chasing anymore. I am definitely not chasing after that Annie Tran or Darunee Lee Wongstapdat (LOL) lady over at the same church. About Betty, I'm actually more open to showing her some compassion- looks like she could use it now because I sort of see where her vibe is at; maybe getting just one cup of coffee with her would be something not so ordinary and could be an experience that might leave me laughing a lot over. In a way, I wonder if Betty is thinking like she's waiting on me even though she's not really my type but she's hot and I'm okay with being friends. Darunee Lee really hated it when I said something like Betty was hot and accused me of struggling with sex- funny now that I think about it even though it's still aggravating to figure out where she was taking it.  

Comfortable Being Me

I've finally found out that through all the trials I've been through, I'm still going to be me now- just that I'm going to be more prepared than ever and just up for anything now. I'm ready to handle these repeated negative situations that go against me. I'm ready to handle some favors for people too and to execute them soundly. I can go through all of this now even with all these annoyances going through my head. I'm still in total disagreement with those bad people I talked about who were also being weird; I know how to deal with them accordingly now in a humane matter, so no worries because they are going to be even more scared how they portray themselves to others, after I'm finished with them.

I'm learning to be more attentive yet again now. The downward feeling of reading a boring book is something I'm going to have to deal with. Maybe, I could take it by knowing that the subject interests me and to read it in little amounts or read up on something that I might really be good at to keep it flowing better. I no longer feel the burden of writing messed up sentences, ha ha. I have the confidence that I need to portray myself the way I want to be presented.

I'm finding myself interested in a lot of things with some that I've pushed aside hoping to hop on board with it again later. I'm not really sure how I'm going to balance out my time with being a family man, right now. What I know for sure is that I should be abstaining from viewing alluring or steamy adult content for my pleasure now because an average person could find that to be cheating in a relationship. I'm not committed to anyone in that sexual area, ha ha right now. It may be a good start to abstain from those things and learn to deal with keeping my testosterone levels in check. I would like to be a responsible adult in all areas now. So, I guess I'm all about being Mr. Responsible right now. That's not that bad- even though it seems a little cocky. I like the confident feeling to it.

Separating Outward vs Inward

Being human gives us the privileges of having private thoughts while we are going through our daily living. Whether people annoy you with something and how nicely you decide to respond to it becomes sort of like an adventure still. What I mean is that, sometimes what we think is actually not happening in reality and that's where we can be brave and man up to a weird circumstance or just play more rough without having to feel bad about anything during that moment in space.

I get annoyed a lot over little things all the time- like people taking me off of their Facebook page after adding me or not wanting to add me if I know them. I might as well get around to doing it too now and just continuously talk about it with the person who I did it to just to have some fun. Even though I'm annoyed a lot or feel like being the first one to yell, there are measures I can take in communicating and still come up on top over the problem. It doesn't matter whether they oblige with me or not but I do know they are going to look pretty bad with others, if I communicate with them and they just go all out in a nasty direction. This means the only solution for them is to come around and that's how it's going to look, so I use some smartness in letting this occur for myself, and they have to go through square one again. I can communicate really clearly and know what I'm saying even though I'm mad; I had some practice with doing this and to get into tune with it- it took a lot of timing and still takes giving into some humility. I can actually talk normally even though I'm exploding inside and can do this on a consistent basis. I don't ever have to feel disparaged with anyone for whatever reason because I'm on the case already anyway.

This makes things so easy now because the people who blocked me on Facebook were actually being bad people. I really want to show a lot of compassion for Betty Lam (Hope of God Church, L.A.- lots of Betty Lam's are already settled down) because she's not really my type but she tried to open up with me- even though she had some moments of going overboard, I think those characteristics are common with older women who haven't really settled down yet. Betty is really hot too but I don't want to envision myself going on an intimate journey with her; I know I could have a shot if I tried but she's just not for me. In Betty's moments, there's a way to talk to her to calm her down and what it requires is really talking to her. Darunee, the evil lady at the time, wanted me to avoid talking to her because she didn't want me to engage in a relationship with Betty. Maybe she was feeling some of that tension with me too and I was repulsed about going with Darunee Lee too. I'm a short guy, even though some friends have told me that I'm not that bad looking- I have moments of being messy, yet I make people laugh hard sometimes. Height really doesn't matter in a relationship with some women because you can easily change their minds by making them feel comfortable- it's just a height complex that can go away with age. I read that this one lady said that when she got older, she just didn't care about how people looked as long as they displayed confidence and those normal characteristics we all want to be around. Betty denied all wrong doing that I ever did and yet, they couldn't pay attention to her feelings- what a friend they are. Betty seemed to be pretty open about asking me out and I could have gone there if I wanted to; maybe, I'll do that with her because I did talk about her the nicest and I was being blunt at the same time. Maybe I'll get some coffee with her and work on those feelings of dating a taller girl- I don't care how much taller she is, she's still taller than me and that's a little yeah, uncomfortable for me. I'm going to have to deal with that and separate it with confidence and establish a closer friendship with her and see how different it is then being around other cool guys. I am actually larger in proportion compared to Betty and most girls in other areas including strength or possibly cranium size (it feels a little cheesy to have a large head stuck on a smaller body than you ever imagined), so maybe it balances out with how I talk to them.

I know there's someone out there for me on my search and that I'm only getting warmer each time I meet some more people. There was this one cute girl I met, and I wish I had her phone number; man, I wish I went to go see a movie with her. She was open to it even though I was feeling really shy underneath and ready to explode if she blew me off; yet, I was willing to take the risk. Oh well. Nowadays, I don't seem to care if a girl doesn't want to date me and that there are really good people out there anyway that I can look forward to dating. Anyway, the bad people I talked about were in an accusative state and yet, I'm still not in trouble with the law. Of course, I'm not going to be in trouble because I was doing things that were similar to their behaviors anyway. They were just adding a lot of tension into a normal and acceptable routine. These people are the ones I mentioned from last month. They are probably going to try to act like it's old news or something, but honestly, it's pretty bad for them because I know how to play rough and still get away with it. They are going to be under some pressure and all of this is stuff they put on themselves. I have the upper hand. If they want to test me, then they are really going to get it. I really know how to communicate and somehow, get some of those people with bad moments to redirect their mind on something else with me around. In a way, it's my space and preference that I love to establish no matter what I'm feeling inside.

Withstanding the Pressure

This is pretty much similar to the other blog post, "Getting Rid of That Discombobulating Feeling." I find myself talking to myself, and I really want to stop this behavior and be able to handle the situation more gracefully now. I'm pretty much grateful that I can look forward to more problems because I couldn't really live without them anyway. I seem to do better if I struggle on something and that's where the Lord really fits into my lifestyle by trying to get me to turn away from my sins.

Throughout days and moments, I get these thoughts in my head which could equate to a similar level of post-traumatic stress disorder ha ha. Actually, I think it's a lot less in level of seriousness but fun to mention for myself. It pretty much takes commitment and just going at it on a consistent basis, like you're bothering someone to get to a level of success. I think it's really important to be in tune with our desires and not to really give into any seducing evil spirits.

This is going to take some time to withstand the pressure ha ha. If kids are actually on this blog, then maybe they should get some permission from their parents before they read some adult-related comments. Ha ha. I'll try to keep this G-rated but to cover all the meat and be fully blunt about myself, I would say that I could imply X-rated things. The stuff I talked about last month dealing with the weird gang was me being me fully and hiding nothing- not bad one would say, right?

Okay, if you are a teenager then might as well prepare yourself to be away from adult material and not let that influence you most of the times ha ha because it will be healthy and help you generate living out your desires if you seek to get some sexual excitement early- I mean to say about copulating after getting married. I'm going to admit that I have a large base of testosterone and don't ask me where I got it from. I want to work out and be so active and gain muscle and live out being content physically, mentally, and spiritually. I could brush aside slightly below average women with looks and those good-looking ones who already are committed because I have a bunch of them who are my friends, and I am happy for them too! Taking off the pressure among weird people who are being sinister with me is so much easier now and I shall get around to doing that.  

Remembering Some Things

I'm just really bored with wanting to type anything because I pretty much wrote I needed to put on here and because I'm already satisfied with what I used this blog for. Anyway, I'm just maintaining it by just writing away with another post. I'm pretty trying to average one post a day so by the end of this year I'm going to have written 365 boring posts on this blog. Woopi! Furthermore, some weird people think I'm going to do something on this blog, and they go on to read it like a hawk. If you find my blog entertaining, then thanks for just reading.

Okay, I am pretty much trying to get some exercise in daily. I'm stretching everyday also and seeing if those growth methods work. I don't care if I stay short or shrink now because my body is what is and I'm trying to keep it growing still at the age of being under thirty- that's all I really want to say right now. I'm accepting of my balding or never getting any taller; yet, I'm trying to prevent myself from getting there. I'm also trying to read the Bible daily, too; regardless of how big of a sinner I am. I'm still setting up a reliable income stream for myself. I'm on the verge of becoming so confident now that I could take on raising a family. I'm not going to say much about my dating life on this blog so much to the chagrin of the public looking at this blog, I don't really care. Pretty much last year was so interesting for me that I finally lived out what I needed to put on this blog that the unique experience was very much appreciated and including the people who unwittingly played in a role in my life by acting like my sister who was in a crazed, weird, and angry emotional state and making up exaggerated comments about me, which was fun to ridicule and for finally getting a hold of myself. 

This post should be more about my pathetic daily life and how I manage it to make myself happy despite the super amount of aggravation these people fed me with. I'm pretty much going to experience more research in making myself improve on this scene of scaling my business bigger. If I become a rich dude, am I going to be a rich jerk? I predict that I probably will try not to because money is easy to burn with fire and only interesting but naughty people worship money to the full extent. Money just helps alleviate some situations that it would help solve for some problem, so I think I'm gifted in that area of solving problems- pretty much, money will probably never really be an issue for me and that I will kick out people who try to take advantage of others after trying to suck money out of me. Hopefully, I will never have to worry about being a boss to these aggravating people and I will not have to go out of my way to feel really sorry for them and then offer them a great job. If I do, I will be happy if they do poorly because I will fire them and make sure I keep all records of how they did bad professionally and laugh about it in private daily or maybe if they try to run for office against me then maybe I'll have an edge over them. 

Finally Understand My Side

Writing on this blog about some incident that bothered the heck out of me regarding myself with some people has been helpful for me. Yes, obviously if I had a boss who wanted to fire me and then got around to doing that, I could really make him out to be a total jerk and money hogging scrooge. That being said, this blog is pretty much my personal space that I have opened up to the world; unlike, some weird people who have a Facebook and can't open themselves up with me- they should have even never had a Facebook page to begin with. Anyway, coming to an understanding has been a little easier and acting out of what I believe in has been a lot more smoother without me violating anyone.

I'm going to cover something that may be normal, and it still affects a lot of people because they just don't know how to get over it yet. It's related to a small story that got caught up in my head and now it's ready to be released into what I'm writing. Let's see, I remember the incident like yesterday ha ha. I feel like someone who wants to be in opposition wants to like come over and break my computer, so I can't write anything bad about them. Anyway, I have something that is good, and they don't want to deal with it because they want to be really immature about it. Yeah, sure. I'm pretty positive about it, so let's finish what I meant to convey.

It's been a long while since I brought up my feelings about Annie Tran over at Hope Church L.A. ( if she still attends there which I'm not certain about); it was very weird and that's how I said it in the past on my blog. I guess it will put a smile on my face if I review this later, so I'll continue. One day I wrote a private message on Facebook intended for Annie about how she looked cute while she was wearing a sun dress and sun glasses with a smile (it looked a little corny), and I was fighting these aggressive urges of chasing after her because I just didn't feel something was right. I said something like that to my sister one time, and she responded highly positively. When I told Annie that she sometimes appears attractive, she also liked it too. Hey, giving occasional compliments never really hurt. When she responded to me sort of quiet, it made me feel like she was really trying to torment me. Annie didn't accept me as a friend and put me on ignore; I thought she knew me or something and I didn't do anything to her so I was baffled here for a moment. I tried again and then the third time, I left her a message basically asking her "What's wrong?" Annie then blocked me on Facebook. This made me sort of mad because she was sort of being weird with me on Facebook. It's been awhile for me to now realize that she may have not been fully in control with something she desired in her life.

After this incident, I felt it was a little inappropriate to ask her about her private life and dating because that's just not me at the time who goes up to girls and makes a run for them. I was pretty nervous because this is something that happened to me for the first time, and the incident was so rare to me that I didn't know how to go about it. I basically did something that would typically be considered gross if you were a kid, but I did it in a mature grown-up style, I wrote a poem about her saying there's something about Annie that makes me feel she isn't attractive- it's true because the actions of a person do make them appear sometimes not so beautiful. I was hopeful that she would be coming around- this is sort of ironic because Chris Kuch (same church), someone whose not really a master of wit, told me that Annie was praying for me to come around. I was like whoa, she's praying for me? Anyway it was out of the wrong context with my case and the poem just caused a ripple and domino effect into more unfamiliar territory- Chris Kuch, Jarred Taing, Annie, Betty, Darunee, Golf, and Chai all started acting weird with me and so out of character. It's something they shouldn't do in general especially if they consider themselves a Christian. 

The solution overall is to talk to them about it bluntly and this was something I was shy about (what if they said they didn't like me?) - Darunee Lee was acting in high interest with me about something and she was just trying to control me. It isn't wrong to encourage talking genuinely and put some faith and trust in that. This also represents that the girls may not really be who they are really cut out to be if they can't handle socializing at a deeper level with a man. This is pretty much what I'm going to conclude with Annie- I was feeling for her but then again, in the end I'm like it's probably better not to. I need to ask Annie if she thought I was coming onto her really aggressively- oh yeah, I did ask Annie one time just that I forgot. She said, no. She then accepted me in being a friend so technically, it would lead to her unblocking me from Facebook if I wanted her to. The apology from her would probably be downplayed and if I kept on bringing it up I would get one from her if I really wanted it. The same applies with Betty and then Jarred. Jarred is a guy and he has mentioned that he could be a coward sometimes, so he was being really timid and couldn't man up to my own beliefs and just blocked me on Facebook. I put him on the spot privately on the phone once and he's like "Let's move on?" in a question- I'm like, not so fast and he's like "I have to go, I'm going to hang up." I think Jarred could seriously turn and be sort of attracted to me, if I wanted him to but no. The weird thing that I have to mention which is also a benefit for me is that Darunee Lee didn't block me on her facebook when I said that we're facebook buddies on my anti-restraining order petition. I submitted to her request of not talking to her or contacting her with the judge going like ("Sir, wish the best of luck") which is really easy for me because it's a peace of mind for me. Darunee was just plain ugly to me in that she was being so bossy.  Fun is right around the corner for me now, and if they are still there maybe they should consider packing and leaving a struggling church to be a leader elsewhere. I'm going to be there and clear up this mess which is so easy for me now, even if it involved cops or the pastor being weird with me- I'm sure he would hold a pitchfork along with a mob if that was considered to be good to society and the norm.

Lots of Resources

The reason why I make this boring post is because I realize that there is a lot of information out there to help you obtain what you're looking for. I figure that fulfilling some desires are probably better left alone until for later, like experiencing sex in marriage - ha ha. A pastor said that the best thing to do for the wife is to show her life and affection; I am in agreement- that's a great way to show love. Now, my mind is like getting more wired to stay away from the weird stuff more now and to really make a lot of progress. I think I should just leave those desires of being in an intimate relationship alone for now because it could come in handy later and serve as a great motivation for me to even be more hard working. I'm pretty sleepy right now, so it's time to call it a night.  

Using Bible To Help Guide Me

Acts 9:31 says The church then had peace throughout Judea, Galilee, and Samaria, and it grew in strength and numbers. The believers were walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

The Bible gives details that the early church was associated with doing miracles and attracting many people to be believers. Leaders of other religious sects were plotting to murder influential evangelists of Christ. Acts 7:60 says And he fell to his knees, shouting, "Lord, don't charge them with this sin!" And with that, he died.

Honestly, I feel like the majority of young adults and two pastors at the Hope of God Church in Los Angeles were missing the mark. They became restless and enraged by making so many complaints over things that shouldn't really be a bother. They said that they had the patience but really didn't because I was being in a way myself, and they were okay with it. They only said that to try to force me to change into their ideology.

They were emphasizing so much on their own personal wit, rather than living out what the Spirit of the Lord would want them to carry out. They were like lost sheep and totally trying to live out in being an enemy to Jesus without really knowing it. I don't seem to really mind thinking about these intractable and corrupted decisions that are part of the heart when they are trying to enforce good will now. I really see it and can actually have fun with them since it's part of a social atmosphere which I know I can heavily influence for something cool!

Overall, I really don't know if I do want them part of my Facebook family, LOL. They chose to give into their misfit attitude and weird ideology and don't know if they can snap out of it. I don't really want to be around people who only want to drag you down, but I also know how to have fun with them and seriously, cripple their desires to do bad things to others. They aren't that big in personality and not that well-known in this world; they are just a bunch of baby Christians among others who want to live in a world with complacency.

Getting Rid Of That Discombodulating Feeling

For a time being with whatever I do, I sometimes feel a little nervous about things. Like trying to learn to drive a school bus or truck under pressure, it was pretty nerve-wrecking. I really didn't like it but I tried and try I may have, I really scared a lot of the people riding in the truck with me. It's really funny because I wasn't laughing at the time; I was just still in that nervous mode. I was with that nervous feeling at the time of weird people considering on giving me a restraining order- in fact, two of them filed a restraining order against me. I'm not really that dependent on them, and I was feeling that way because of this whole nervous feeling inside of me.

Getting over this anxiety took some time. I took upon mastering the art of being self-honest and hanging on to whatever you wanted to work on. It dealt with getting over the fear of anticipating the disappointment of others and myself. I tried fighting it with sadness on my end, anger the next end, and humor on another spectrum. What worked for me was just being honest with myself. Honesty has been contributing a lot to helping me out with my patience. I realize that my desires are super strong so having a letdown is like a temporary situation for me; I wish to be dedicated and pretty charming, along with living out my desires fully. What it takes is, just living with the situation to the best of your ability and just continuously striving to make it out there.    

Satisfaction Being Reached

Acts 5:29 says But Peter and the apostles replied, "We must obey God rather than human authority."

I still remember what Darunee Lee Wongstapadat told me that she and some people at Hope of God Church were ordained by God to be leaders and that I should be submitting to their authority. Yeah, it felt fishy at the time; we see that even the disciples of Jesus living out in their faith and rejoicing over even being punished by the jealous leaders of Jerusalem back at that time.

It was a lot of weird wording that they put into it, so yeah they did end up pushing me around. Oh and by the way, I'm not in trouble with the law too. They were just acting out of frustration over being so ignorant with each other. They were so not into the Bible at the time and were about something else bothering their situation. They're actually flesh driven and not really holy people; obviously, they have some stronger morals than possibly the loosest person but still the evil that took over them is now evident with me.

Now, I realize the weirdness of people and how they are actually getting me to laugh about it. Whatever I was going through, I snapped out of it so I'm going to be okay for now on. I'm still going to have problems that I'll be experiencing and pretty annoying ones too but what can I do about them. I really have some strong desires and so I don't really feel so left down anymore if something isn't going to work out. At least I can reach an acceptable compromise with the situation.

Gaining One Hour

It was pretty nice to change the clock back. Normally, this is a pretty bad time for some businesses because they are going to suffer in the east. With winter coming around the corner, I figure just waiting outside with a concession stand at Central Park in New York is going to be cold and just slow business. I'm a little indifferent because one hour doesn't really mean much to my circadian rhythm. I got to party one hour extra last night which was pretty fun.

I learned from church that sometimes jerks are in opposition with you. Actually, that's sort of a no-brainier in life. Being persecuted for what you believe in is pretty nasty business that the enemy wants to do to you to try to tear you apart. Matthew 5:10 says Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I wish the Bible sometimes said that all Christians are cute to be around and a clear cut answer like this pretty woman wants to be your wife would be a little more evident. There must be a reason why we don't know everything; it's probably because the Lord wants us to take action. Acts 1:7 says "The Father sets those dates," he replied, "and they are not for you to know."  

Getting To Expert Status

I guess when you put some time into it then you can become really good at it, as long as you can create an edge with whatever you are doing. In other words, it requires skill to a certain degree. I feel really confident now with trading in the Forex market, and I may be seeing profits that could earn me a living soon. It's difficult to master because it takes the disciple of timeliness and getting over the fear of losing money, just like almost running any other business.

Skill wise, it just takes giving it all you got and doing this on a daily basis. I remember feeling like I had a learning disorder ha ha one time. The one thing I regret is taking some time off and doing something else that was time consuming, playing video games on my computer. I remember when I admitted to procrastinating while playing video games and feeling sort of bad about it, Betty laughed. I remember she also laughed when I mentioned that the Clippers winning a game is like a miracle to a fan, Jared. These are pretty okay jokes, I guess in general to laugh about so nothing wrong in it. The reason why I bring this up is because Betty can be pretty attentive and want to share a sense a humor with you, which is a pretty attractive quality for being a friend. When she vented with me, I really couldn't be any more supportive at the time because I was still weighing out her periods of being out of character with me. I'm really not intimidated with Betty and can actually see her smiling if I were to be around her more often in the future; it looks like it might be a sign of regret or anguish but overall, she'll actually be humbled in the process of becoming a more mature lady.

I was going back and forth with my feelings about Betty, so it was inconsistent but now I realize that even though we aren't really made to be husband and wife ha ha, she is hot. I sort of lied back then when I wrote about Betty being attractive; I didn't know her too well. I wrote a poem that stated she wasn't attractive. Betty admitted to me about not feeling attractive. Now, with me going back to realizing she's hot and that we're not meant to be in an intimate relationship, this makes things interesting in how we see each other as friends now. The speculation from a dude who claims to have right predictions which was annoying for a time said that Betty doesn't have a grudge against me. I can't go any more intimate in detail about her because I think it's inappropriate to share and probably better to keep it inward.

Know How To Deal With Strange Restraining Orders

I have two restraining orders intact that are about to be gone officially soon. The joke or ridicule is actually on them because I didn't do anything to them and don't even need to go after them before it's over. Now that I think of it, if I really wanted to I could have actually prevented it from ever getting initialized by speaking to the judge about it. I just stayed quiet because I was really nervous about Darunee Lee and Washington acting pretty strange with me. This issue was pretty much hitting upon the weakest area in my life, and I still got through it without needing to put any money into it for professional advice. Ha ha. 

Now I really don't need to be weird to get what I want, which is actually nice for a change. I can actually become a pretty nice dependable friend now to the people who have accepted me into their lives. I figure that I never really deserve any restraining order from anybody, no matter what I say to them because I'm being honest and not threatening them or yapping away with nasty insults at them. I figure if I was being unclear at the worst while being mad at them, then I was perfectly fine and actually being great about the situation.

Overall, I'm ready to handle more future weirdness that comes from people who want to file restraining orders on me. They are pretty much setting themselves up to go to ruin, and their gossip is no longer going to give them any confidence because it's going to sap the more worse the act around others because I'll be there trying to hypnotize them to feel guilty about being sinful; just joking, hopefully it's natural for them to feel guilty or else they are going to be a big problem for some cops. I'm a problem to immature cops and people going through an early midlife crisis like at around 35 and smoke a pack of cigarettes everyday. I'm a problem to people with problems in general, so that's a sign for me to figure when some more additional people remove me from their Facebook list and still have an account on there! With people who have problems, I can actually have fun with them and be very persistent to the nth degree and will be doing those things, so they better choose a good and moral lifestyle where they become happier with me around.   

Trying To Find Rhythm

Right now, it's sort of a struggle because I'm trying to get into the right mindset. I pretty much need to give more effort today to finish out the week strongly. After today, I'm pretty much going to have some free hours away from doing work. It's pretty nice to not have to work on Friday to the end of the week but it means having to be diligent in the other four days I work. It's been my first week, and so far I'm capable of handling the hours and getting pretty excited over conducting business, so it's something that I really want to stick to.

I know that most people work about forty or plus hours and that's not crazy to them. I'm sort of distributing forty productive hours through those four days, so it leaves me pretty satisfied because I think most people don't really schedule something often during the week because of work anyway. I might now be able to do some more pet projects for making money or just having fun once I get this business going in rhythm and style.

Wasting A Post With Stupid Image

This is for all you vexing people who thought trying to help me included yelling at me and acting all mad without being able to explain anything to me like a lunatic.  In reality, I do not really care anymore and know how to have fun with these people who just didn't know how to conduct themselves with me now. I understand their dispositions whether I thought it was dumb or not and can actually joke about it cleanly with them. Just that, the others who weren't involved with them may have a lot of fun hearing me out and that the ones who acted cruel and weird with me may get mad because they don't want to remember how bad they were. These people include Chris Kuch, Jar(r)ed Daniel Taing, Annie Tran, Betty Lam (I'm so sad), the pastor Chai (unbelievable), Golf (naughty naughty), Bae (buh bah sheep), and the unmentionable, untouchable, invisible Lee. They are all from the struggling church called Hope of God Church- they are pretty small in number, and I think I heard from a confidential source that the pastor needed to pay off some loan to buy the property still. I also wonder if Carlos Julio wants to get involved too with them still; maybe, when he finds out he'll definitely want to part ways with them because it's probably going to turn out to be the selfish way to go. This isn't really the case for everyone; it's just the way I'm wording it.

Business Hours

Since I have started a new company, it is relatively a new business and I would need an office sooner or later. It's also a business that mainly requires a fast internet connection, so I get to work while being home. It gives me more time to put more useful hours instead of having to worry about the killer drive going to work and coming back home.  A typical work day including the drive and lunch could easily amount to about 11 hours of work for a typical 8-5 job.

Well with the profits adding up, it's going to need a few more months to figure out if I'm going to have enough my first year to get an office set up. I would like an office just for the sake of having some space from home and to also give my programming buddies a chance to get together and work on a game. I might also hire a small staff initially for some office routines; we'll see about that.

For the time being this is my goal of the time I'm going to put in:

Activity	hours	days
training video (Fri to Th)	2.5	M-F
Trading	5.5	M-Th
Stretching / exercising	1.5	daily
additional trading / research	2.0	M-Th

Typical Routine

Mark 14:51-52 says "There was a young man following along behind, clothed only in a linen nightshirt. When the mob tried to grab him, they tore off his clothes, but he escaped and ran away naked."

That verse describes a pretty funny predicament. I notice that this one guy whose an idiot tries to make himself appear all great in private but when it comes to the real thing, he usually backs out or runs away from conflict. I think some people don't really know how to deal with fear of conflict and yet, try to give advice that they alone can't even handle. I realize this as being true to me, and it sort of angers me to be honest. Yet, I don't wish to be shaken up when it happens to me anymore. I believe I could go all day now and have some fun with those people who think they know better than me when I know that they already reminded me that they are weak in that area.

John 18:8-9 says "I told you that I am he," Jesus said. "And since I am the one you want, let these others go." He did this to fulfill his own statement: "I have not lost a single one of those you gave me."

This was a moment where the disciples of Jesus exhibited real fear and discomfort in a situation where they were faced with being put to death. Initially, the disciples did not fully understand God's plan. As we hear in history later, many Christians were put to death and some gave themselves over to be martyrs for Christ up to this day and age- including the Christian folklore that states Jesus' number one disciple, Simon Peter died on the cross upside down. The Bible states that the believers became equipped with this faith (peace and joy found outside the desires of the world) through the Holy Spirit. It also looks like Jesus justified human rights- John 18:23 says Jesus replied, "If I said anything wrong, you must give evidence for it. Should you hit a man for telling the truth?" This verse really helps me out in encouraging me to continue living out my life and the detail I cover with this blog in all honesty.