Writing on this blog about some incident that bothered the heck out of me regarding myself with some people has been helpful for me. Yes, obviously if I had a boss who wanted to fire me and then got around to doing that, I could really make him out to be a total jerk and money hogging scrooge. That being said, this blog is pretty much my personal space that I have opened up to the world; unlike, some weird people who have a Facebook and can't open themselves up with me- they should have even never had a Facebook page to begin with. Anyway, coming to an understanding has been a little easier and acting out of what I believe in has been a lot more smoother without me violating anyone.
I'm going to cover something that may be normal, and it still affects a lot of people because they just don't know how to get over it yet. It's related to a small story that got caught up in my head and now it's ready to be released into what I'm writing. Let's see, I remember the incident like yesterday ha ha. I feel like someone who wants to be in opposition wants to like come over and break my computer, so I can't write anything bad about them. Anyway, I have something that is good, and they don't want to deal with it because they want to be really immature about it. Yeah, sure. I'm pretty positive about it, so let's finish what I meant to convey.
It's been a long while since I brought up my feelings about Annie Tran over at Hope Church L.A. ( if she still attends there which I'm not certain about); it was very weird and that's how I said it in the past on my blog. I guess it will put a smile on my face if I review this later, so I'll continue. One day I wrote a private message on Facebook intended for Annie about how she looked cute while she was wearing a sun dress and sun glasses with a smile (it looked a little corny), and I was fighting these aggressive urges of chasing after her because I just didn't feel something was right. I said something like that to my sister one time, and she responded highly positively. When I told Annie that she sometimes appears attractive, she also liked it too. Hey, giving occasional compliments never really hurt. When she responded to me sort of quiet, it made me feel like she was really trying to torment me. Annie didn't accept me as a friend and put me on ignore; I thought she knew me or something and I didn't do anything to her so I was baffled here for a moment. I tried again and then the third time, I left her a message basically asking her "What's wrong?" Annie then blocked me on Facebook. This made me sort of mad because she was sort of being weird with me on Facebook. It's been awhile for me to now realize that she may have not been fully in control with something she desired in her life.
After this incident, I felt it was a little inappropriate to ask her about her private life and dating because that's just not me at the time who goes up to girls and makes a run for them. I was pretty nervous because this is something that happened to me for the first time, and the incident was so rare to me that I didn't know how to go about it. I basically did something that would typically be considered gross if you were a kid, but I did it in a mature grown-up style, I wrote a poem about her saying there's something about Annie that makes me feel she isn't attractive- it's true because the actions of a person do make them appear sometimes not so beautiful. I was hopeful that she would be coming around- this is sort of ironic because Chris Kuch (same church), someone whose not really a master of wit, told me that Annie was praying for me to come around. I was like whoa, she's praying for me? Anyway it was out of the wrong context with my case and the poem just caused a ripple and domino effect into more unfamiliar territory- Chris Kuch, Jarred Taing, Annie, Betty, Darunee, Golf, and Chai all started acting weird with me and so out of character. It's something they shouldn't do in general especially if they consider themselves a Christian.
The solution overall is to talk to them about it bluntly and this was something I was shy about (what if they said they didn't like me?) - Darunee Lee was acting in high interest with me about something and she was just trying to control me. It isn't wrong to encourage talking genuinely and put some faith and trust in that. This also represents that the girls may not really be who they are really cut out to be if they can't handle socializing at a deeper level with a man. This is pretty much what I'm going to conclude with Annie- I was feeling for her but then again, in the end I'm like it's probably better not to. I need to ask Annie if she thought I was coming onto her really aggressively- oh yeah, I did ask Annie one time just that I forgot. She said, no. She then accepted me in being a friend so technically, it would lead to her unblocking me from Facebook if I wanted her to. The apology from her would probably be downplayed and if I kept on bringing it up I would get one from her if I really wanted it. The same applies with Betty and then Jarred. Jarred is a guy and he has mentioned that he could be a coward sometimes, so he was being really timid and couldn't man up to my own beliefs and just blocked me on Facebook. I put him on the spot privately on the phone once and he's like "Let's move on?" in a question- I'm like, not so fast and he's like "I have to go, I'm going to hang up." I think Jarred could seriously turn and be sort of attracted to me, if I wanted him to but no. The weird thing that I have to mention which is also a benefit for me is that Darunee Lee didn't block me on her facebook when I said that we're facebook buddies on my anti-restraining order petition. I submitted to her request of not talking to her or contacting her with the judge going like ("Sir, wish the best of luck") which is really easy for me because it's a peace of mind for me. Darunee was just plain ugly to me in that she was being so bossy. Fun is right around the corner for me now, and if they are still there maybe they should consider packing and leaving a struggling church to be a leader elsewhere. I'm going to be there and clear up this mess which is so easy for me now, even if it involved cops or the pastor being weird with me- I'm sure he would hold a pitchfork along with a mob if that was considered to be good to society and the norm.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
