Growing Up

A large part of growing up seems to be what stimulates our minds. I wish I was largely stimulated from reading books, ha ha. I was usually forcing upon myself to read a book to just study and never got the hang of it for reading just for fun. I realize that I have bought a lot of books related to what I thought would be fun, but then the thoughts of reading a book kick in, and it gets hard again to finish a boring book and sort of wonder if I should have bought the book. Oh well, I don't seem to have that problem anymore and think it was just pressure on myself to get to financial stability.

Out of this longing for financial stability, I have found something that requires little time to be highly productive. If you can guess what it is, then you are a really smart and rare breed to the world. Knocking that anxiety off from working on something I actually really enjoy developing on and establishing a profitable business has been fun. I get more time to socialize which is pretty nice and might contribute to meeting someone who could be right for me in settling down with. I remember when being part of a quasi-spiritual group (San Gabriel caregroup at Hope of God Church, L.A.) was all fun and okay, this one cute person whose not part of the group said that it's about realizations- I was like wow, that's really simple and concise. In a supporting way, I believe that growing up is about getting into realizations. The weirdness or craziness factor that some people have from thinking like losers is something that I'm always going to be a part of, and I never thought I would create a useful tension with these women, which I'm not really giving any thought into chasing anymore. I am definitely not chasing after that Annie Tran or Darunee Lee Wongstapdat (LOL) lady over at the same church. About Betty, I'm actually more open to showing her some compassion- looks like she could use it now because I sort of see where her vibe is at; maybe getting just one cup of coffee with her would be something not so ordinary and could be an experience that might leave me laughing a lot over. In a way, I wonder if Betty is thinking like she's waiting on me even though she's not really my type but she's hot and I'm okay with being friends. Darunee Lee really hated it when I said something like Betty was hot and accused me of struggling with sex- funny now that I think about it even though it's still aggravating to figure out where she was taking it.