Exploring Interests

I'm just calling this one a goal searching or brain storming post. One of my major problems that I have is not having enough self-control internally and just losing it all together. This issue has been getting fixed on its own through me being aware of it and also accepting it as a weakness- I no longer feel this anxiety, which is temporary at the wrong time, that leaves me feeling powerless and unassertive.

T.V. is just feeling so repetitive for me now- movies are a little better for me to enjoy occasionally. It must be from seeing a lot of cartoons and reruns as part of my routine unwittingly. Some smart people in the culture with some alluring, intellectual style are mentioning that the news is better stated in writing.

If I'm going to follow my heart, I just want to continuously make jokes now and goof off on this blog. I'm also being honest because I really needed to practice it and paying for a psychiatrist is going to be too much money. I asked a weird person who has his angry moments, Jarred Daniel Taing, over at Hope of God Church- he must be like "Whoa, hey... what the" but he really was being weird if I tell the whole story which I don't mind doing in front of his face and everybody listening- I'm also going to defend myself if he loses himself so he's going to straight to jail in the end- I mean to say it as a figure of speech in literal terms. I don't want to bust out a martial arts kick that will leave him breathless because he doesn't work out- so I asked Jarred for some money to go see a psychiatrist because he kept on aggravating me to go see one and the cheap guy was asking me about if I had any insurance. They were being cheap and annoying and yet trying to remain really corny with me. Oh well, he was just not being a good person at the moment. I think it's going to affect his decisions when he becomes a parent someday, if he ever gets that far with himself. It's also good to relax in life, so parenting someone like himself could be very likely for him to do if he wants to.

Okay, nothing to hide absolutely for me. Let's see I've been going back and forth with this whole truck driving incident to make some money. I do have a passion for the road and wouldn't mind sharing it with a partner which is what some driver professionals do. It's also profitable and better than doing nothing at the house all day. I've been successful with my investment choices so far and haven't wasted a lot on the ones that weren't going to cut it compared to others. I've been pretty much middle of the road in paying for fast tracking myself to making profits, and I'm making a decent amount of cash so far hardly doing anything right now.

I'm on a bust with lack of cash in the short term right now- being a truck driver would obviously solve that and put money in my pocket to store up for making more looser and profitable investments. Two things are really keeping me from settling down right now- lack of financial stability and lack of confidence in my appearance (I want to make myself grow taller, which seems too impossible but I still frolic around with in my research and exercises). These issues are pretty much what I'm going at right now in solving and so truck driver could seriously be a boring task and make me feel like burning up inside. My life in settling down deals with me being successful and I'm the type whose going to commit himself to never looking back if I don't do it. I will continue sharing my thoughts on this same matter tomorrow.