Many Possibilities From Having Passion

Obviously, some things like making money while working for someone is not really my cup of tea. I never really knew what my computer science degree was going to be good for, especially while not really have any motivated inspiration to get something completed. I was more trying to live in the flesh with video games and watching movies. After living that out moment after moment, it feels like I could have lived out wasting twenty years under just three years; that's how active my brain was. Haha. I did all of that while staying up all night to just barely pass my college courses. It became more like a pass or fail situation; move on and forget kind of deal back then, so with all of that natural bottled up stress working against my desire to just not do anything, I gave into doing something and that's where I ended up today.

I'm not a proud achiever of understanding how the porn industry works, too. Just making fun of myself while the time goes by. I read from a Christian book that some women struggle with that whereas a bunch of other females think porn is nasty. Haha. I'm not going to talk about a woman's sexual psyche on this blog or really cover that- I think I'll keep that mainly a secret with what I know and wish I never knew. I'm still in the mood for respecting good, kind-hearted women so that being said, I think girls around me do want to strive to be good even though they can't control their emotions that well as a well-brought up man can sometimes. I'm understanding how to be more caring and forgiving of other females who have moments of becoming out of character. It's really hard to do this when life is confusing and really giving you the chills; I've found out that having good laughs and honesty really helps to be loving to others.

This is why it's getting easier for me to see how Betty Lam (Hope of God Church, Los Angeles) wants to be portrayed to others and what her discomforts are about even though she can't tell me on the spot. I want to be a good friend to Betty, and I forgive her moments of indecency with me; it may have been annoying me a lot but on the long run, it isn't really that serious as I made it out to be in the first place- I just did that because I wanted to focus all my attention on pleasing Betty, which seems impossible at first but not so hard once you've grown from the trial and see her coming out. I can sort of believe she could be a special person to me because we've had to bond over the last couple years with all of that tension. Good thing, I really didn't try to marry her and I feel happy about my independence right now based on me thinking about her. Haha. There are a lot of good women out there, so a lot of beautiful fish are out there for the ideal man who knows how to fish for the most valuable one.