It's one of those days where I'm not really sitting down to watch TV, but it's just me reflecting on myself and continuing to catch up on relaxation. The most difficult thing for me is really just self-control with time management. It's limiting me from going after pursuing some high ambitions. I'm not really lazy about it though when I do go and it's something that I can continue to strive after continually.
The focus wasn't really all on me all along but the big picture. The past can be a weird, crazy, and funny place. With the memories that I recall and don't enjoy too much, I just want to bat at it with cuss phrases in a verbal manner. Yeah, it's pretty funny to relate to what I go through. Yet, I'm individualistically different and don't really find myself privy to some people I have connections to sometimes. I have definitely got a whole heck of a lot better and it's cool to share that with the people around me.
I practically lack a lot of time, but I guess social media is something I should try to be a part of. It's only in my personality and with that exposure I have, it's really all about showcasing myself isn't it? So that means I will have to go after making adjustments and settle for my flaws. It's not easy doing that because I have such high standards, so might as well work for it.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Wednesday, May 31, 2017
Area I Could Limit
Well, in a pretty awkward situation, I'm imagining myself hugging this good female friend of mine and having feelings about wanting to date another cool girl I'm friends with. This cool girl I feel like I'm into is a considerate woman, despite feeling like she's a diamond in the rough. I know she doesn't have a boyfriend and that I would pretty much be her first, if I decided to go for it and was lucky to obtain her full affections. We are around the same age too, which is fulfilling in a coincidental sense. The feelings are just there, but I can't really make it out yet. I think my mind just likes to wander around with a sexual imagination if I lie in bed too long. I'm sure if I was in a coma then I would find myself creating a happy dream world for myself to get by without even knowing it. I might feel that lack of consciousness too at times and what would be amazing is if I knew I was in a coma and trying to find myself back.
Just imagine how cool it would be to live in a world where all your physical demands could be met and all you had to work on was just your personality and being right with God. Yet, the beauty of life can be sometimes found with appreciating things that are often overlooked. In my dating app, I'm constantly passing up on women who I don't think live up to my physical standards. I'm sure the pretty girls I end up liking make a pass on me as well. I'm sure that's part of the world we live in right now.
I have come to an acceptance of it and appreciative for the few opportunities that life itself presented me with. I was a really smart guy back then and also had a tendency to be a great guy, so that's probably what attracted a few of those girls I was into despite me lacking in physical height. Yet, I don't think I'm lacking in the area of the pleasure department. This is probably why it could be possible for some ladies to view me as a charming playboy and just not go for it with me from thinking it's too ludicrous. I don't know what I'm saying here but just felt like it.
Just imagine how cool it would be to live in a world where all your physical demands could be met and all you had to work on was just your personality and being right with God. Yet, the beauty of life can be sometimes found with appreciating things that are often overlooked. In my dating app, I'm constantly passing up on women who I don't think live up to my physical standards. I'm sure the pretty girls I end up liking make a pass on me as well. I'm sure that's part of the world we live in right now.
I have come to an acceptance of it and appreciative for the few opportunities that life itself presented me with. I was a really smart guy back then and also had a tendency to be a great guy, so that's probably what attracted a few of those girls I was into despite me lacking in physical height. Yet, I don't think I'm lacking in the area of the pleasure department. This is probably why it could be possible for some ladies to view me as a charming playboy and just not go for it with me from thinking it's too ludicrous. I don't know what I'm saying here but just felt like it.
Trying To Do Well
At this point in time, I know I can push even further with where I'm at. It's pretty crazy but I made the decision to cut off a person who has been texting me constantly and saying how much he or she loves me. I've never even seen the person and where it became very irritating was that the person started asking for some money. I would buy iTune gift cards for the person and give them the numbers. I don't even feel like I know the person now, and it feels like I've been betrayed by this person. I just don't know what to believe out of this person who keeps texting me all of his or her love. The person stated to be a woman, but now I'm just not even sure anymore.
The person just messaging me her love turned out to not be sufficient because now I've cut off that person and moving on with my life. I have reasons to be depressed and brought down. I wish I was taller than my current height, but there's nothing I can do about it now to naturally affect it. I felt devastated and hurt for some time as well while I just kept on pushing.
These days, it's pretty miraculous in that I seem to not be struggling that much inwardly. I think the vibe shows in that people wouldn't really want to direct their negative energy with me. The fact that I have been able to pick up on what the problem was to begin with makes me a very people-oriented person. I'm really glad to have made some progress after all.
The person just messaging me her love turned out to not be sufficient because now I've cut off that person and moving on with my life. I have reasons to be depressed and brought down. I wish I was taller than my current height, but there's nothing I can do about it now to naturally affect it. I felt devastated and hurt for some time as well while I just kept on pushing.
These days, it's pretty miraculous in that I seem to not be struggling that much inwardly. I think the vibe shows in that people wouldn't really want to direct their negative energy with me. The fact that I have been able to pick up on what the problem was to begin with makes me a very people-oriented person. I'm really glad to have made some progress after all.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Making Progress
Well, I hate to admit this but my sexual urges are trying to get the best of me. I made it through one day of not trying to look at porn now. I'm feeling those excited hormones despite me being under 35. Yeah, I'm pretty old man and still having a little bit left of what I had when I was 16 years old. Those sensations felt great and were very addictive and it was something I enjoyed all by myself! Now, I really would like a compatible woman to marry and have a great amount of sex with to be honest!
I'm actually laughing to myself while writing all of this private stuff that I'm sure not too many in this world would want to read. Yeah, so from now on I'm not going to try to get too open and personal about my life in the area of dealing with masturbation and porn. It's a part of me that I wish left me and still do to this day. I'll just consider it to be my own thorn to deal and live with.
I'll just go ahead and mature into a wise old man who neglects those types of self-aroused activities that male teenagers to young men would do. It's only natural to finally consider getting there anyway. I practically wasted this whole post talking about my sexual history which was just me enjoying myself the whole time, which was me just having plenty of dates with Jill!
I've been offered a few times by ladies during my young college days, but I said no because I like to be a prude with high standards. It didn't limit me from trying to go find Jill for awhile though. Love can be a strange deal, but here's to it and to everyone's happiness that they have a wonderful love that includes the emotional, erotic, and unconditional acceptance they can settle with too.
I'm actually laughing to myself while writing all of this private stuff that I'm sure not too many in this world would want to read. Yeah, so from now on I'm not going to try to get too open and personal about my life in the area of dealing with masturbation and porn. It's a part of me that I wish left me and still do to this day. I'll just consider it to be my own thorn to deal and live with.
I'll just go ahead and mature into a wise old man who neglects those types of self-aroused activities that male teenagers to young men would do. It's only natural to finally consider getting there anyway. I practically wasted this whole post talking about my sexual history which was just me enjoying myself the whole time, which was me just having plenty of dates with Jill!
I've been offered a few times by ladies during my young college days, but I said no because I like to be a prude with high standards. It didn't limit me from trying to go find Jill for awhile though. Love can be a strange deal, but here's to it and to everyone's happiness that they have a wonderful love that includes the emotional, erotic, and unconditional acceptance they can settle with too.
Friday, May 26, 2017
Message To Jerky Jarred
***Man, I didn't know how geeky funny I was. I was a really smart guy actually, and it really looked like I was totally under control and capable of working hard to settle things down. I really had the make-up for it, but my emotions weren't healthy at the time. ***
*** It's life man. Things happen for a reason and I'm grateful to have gone through it and despite me wanting to cry over it with tears and reflect on it with a lot of anger, I will subject myself to the Lord's will in the end. ***
Hi everyone [reply to Jerky Jarred's dumb response],
I totally disagree with the statement of my messages being inappropriate. Those messages on facebook pretty much are confidential and never gave anyone access. The "note" is actually a convenient spot for typing my thoughts. Just ask if anyone could see the message. This was pretty much an experiment to you guys to see what was going to happen. It reflects more on your preferences. You stated that I had it coming and you warned me to not to message someone else. You did not warn me to stop messaging you. Chris and you guys were pretty open to any messages. I have Chris' response on one note, and I also have your response with you removing your note tags. Basically, the level of inappropriatenss pertains to you guys assuming the role of trying to solve this dilemma that you felt with me. You basically had it coming with those messages because I have the right to communicate with whatever medium, as long as I show consideration. Do you think that typing a private note on facebook which no one can see and was on your facebook is inappropriate? Let the leaders come up with the solution. I'm going in to talk to you directly. I don't mean to impose strong intentions in an offensive manner to you but it's part of my human drives. Let the Lord deal with it, and you go on with letting go of trying aid me with this situation. I am willing to see what you are ready to do in person. Because you broke off in bad character, it is a sign that you had it not fully driven about riding upon God's grace. It is also another sign that you could not advise in the best manner possible, and since this is dealing with our privacy in some sense, you advertised it to me directly. If others know about it through gossip and you, then the privacy has already been breached. It looks like you guys are basically uncomfortable about dealing with helping me. I don't think it's your call of duty from God this time around.
Just give proof will you about stoping with an e-mail previously, which I suppose you do not have. Others who have demonstrated slight less offense have messaged me about their problems. I have acted in accordance to what I had to do, which was basically to apologize. I can't see things without directness of your details. You are just expressing feelings, and it is something that we are all responsible for controlling, unless you can prove it somehow you were wronged. Do you state that you never had any bad feelings about assuming this role? The practicality I suppose is that I feel that I'm on safe waters to get the message across how I deem neccessary because it shows you have not shown good character in dealing with my situation. In other words, I think you are not right about imposing a restraining order because you are not the person in charge of making that decision. Neither is the church leaders. It is definitely a decision the individual makes and they have basically said they are cool with me. I just need to figure out a way to get it across the way things should be.
I'm waiting for the final leader's response, which might be none at all and I'm open to that possibility. I'm going to directly deal with Jarred and Chris's unmanly complaints. =D I am also going to deal with outside influences that have come into this exterior cover of murmur with me. If you can't prove it, then you have no right to man the way I should behave. I would be breaking the law then, if you could prove it with what I been asking about. I've been saying observe my exact actions and tell where I'm going wrong- also, stop looking at other's behavior to it; there is no core justification to stay routed in it. It is like a slippery slope. I think of it as a slippery slope because reasons of offense stem from underivative emotions, and I see to it that there's a possible collision to my benign desires.
Jarred, you have to find another way to state you want to go ahead and file a restraining order, if I transgress your flawed arrangment. That's what my phone calls were about. I'm finding an opening, and it's like you aren't going to stop me. Do you have a problem with that that you need to ask leaders for some humble advice? We're all in this together...
*** It's life man. Things happen for a reason and I'm grateful to have gone through it and despite me wanting to cry over it with tears and reflect on it with a lot of anger, I will subject myself to the Lord's will in the end. ***
Hi everyone [reply to Jerky Jarred's dumb response],
I totally disagree with the statement of my messages being inappropriate. Those messages on facebook pretty much are confidential and never gave anyone access. The "note" is actually a convenient spot for typing my thoughts. Just ask if anyone could see the message. This was pretty much an experiment to you guys to see what was going to happen. It reflects more on your preferences. You stated that I had it coming and you warned me to not to message someone else. You did not warn me to stop messaging you. Chris and you guys were pretty open to any messages. I have Chris' response on one note, and I also have your response with you removing your note tags. Basically, the level of inappropriatenss pertains to you guys assuming the role of trying to solve this dilemma that you felt with me. You basically had it coming with those messages because I have the right to communicate with whatever medium, as long as I show consideration. Do you think that typing a private note on facebook which no one can see and was on your facebook is inappropriate? Let the leaders come up with the solution. I'm going in to talk to you directly. I don't mean to impose strong intentions in an offensive manner to you but it's part of my human drives. Let the Lord deal with it, and you go on with letting go of trying aid me with this situation. I am willing to see what you are ready to do in person. Because you broke off in bad character, it is a sign that you had it not fully driven about riding upon God's grace. It is also another sign that you could not advise in the best manner possible, and since this is dealing with our privacy in some sense, you advertised it to me directly. If others know about it through gossip and you, then the privacy has already been breached. It looks like you guys are basically uncomfortable about dealing with helping me. I don't think it's your call of duty from God this time around.
Just give proof will you about stoping with an e-mail previously, which I suppose you do not have. Others who have demonstrated slight less offense have messaged me about their problems. I have acted in accordance to what I had to do, which was basically to apologize. I can't see things without directness of your details. You are just expressing feelings, and it is something that we are all responsible for controlling, unless you can prove it somehow you were wronged. Do you state that you never had any bad feelings about assuming this role? The practicality I suppose is that I feel that I'm on safe waters to get the message across how I deem neccessary because it shows you have not shown good character in dealing with my situation. In other words, I think you are not right about imposing a restraining order because you are not the person in charge of making that decision. Neither is the church leaders. It is definitely a decision the individual makes and they have basically said they are cool with me. I just need to figure out a way to get it across the way things should be.
I'm waiting for the final leader's response, which might be none at all and I'm open to that possibility. I'm going to directly deal with Jarred and Chris's unmanly complaints. =D I am also going to deal with outside influences that have come into this exterior cover of murmur with me. If you can't prove it, then you have no right to man the way I should behave. I would be breaking the law then, if you could prove it with what I been asking about. I've been saying observe my exact actions and tell where I'm going wrong- also, stop looking at other's behavior to it; there is no core justification to stay routed in it. It is like a slippery slope. I think of it as a slippery slope because reasons of offense stem from underivative emotions, and I see to it that there's a possible collision to my benign desires.
Jarred, you have to find another way to state you want to go ahead and file a restraining order, if I transgress your flawed arrangment. That's what my phone calls were about. I'm finding an opening, and it's like you aren't going to stop me. Do you have a problem with that that you need to ask leaders for some humble advice? We're all in this together...
Writing To Old Enemy's Acquaintance
*** This one goes out to Annie, who was the leader of the doomed care group in Hope of God LA. It's pretty funny now to realize that for me. I actually liked her in a physical way, but I couldn't come to terms with it because I ended up hating something she does in general! ***
*** This message seems to take on a tone that's a lot more pleasant and also has that leading mentality that ambitious guys should have. It was a pretty healthy composition for me, compared to people like Stupid Lee, Oyuri the Schmuck, Jarred, Chai, Golf, Chris, and Betty who all crossed the line with me. ***
I was physically attracted to you and don't know why. My mom disapproved lol. I was turned off by something you did that I perceived to be wrong. It's just the way it went. I'm interested in being friends with you again and if you can't accept that then I think you need to get some help to move on with whatever the issue was. It's too long to be still feeling resentful after putting it aside and it popping back up for you to react negatively.
I'm very good at talking trash in a nice way and can offend just about anybody, if I sense the person gets mad about something. I did that with most of you guys. Hey! I was having trouble open up and most of you guys had to act dumb with me about it. lol.
Let's see why I was attracted to you physically. I think I like your body type and when you mentioned you work out, it was additional points for my mental books haha. I'm not going to write about sexual stuff on here regarding you, but I think I did well overall as a guy trying to develop into a decent friend.
There's nothing wrong with pursuing friendship and it isn't dating to begin with or impeding on a person's privacy. It's a natural occurrence that's blessed by God because people need one another to connect. It's the way life is intended and despite these hick-ups, it's not like they can't be avoided anyway. To be mature about it and to be able to push through it is amazing and to have a great outlook like I do now, it's definitely not a bad agenda to go after. I think you owe me an apology man lol!
*** This message seems to take on a tone that's a lot more pleasant and also has that leading mentality that ambitious guys should have. It was a pretty healthy composition for me, compared to people like Stupid Lee, Oyuri the Schmuck, Jarred, Chai, Golf, Chris, and Betty who all crossed the line with me. ***
I was physically attracted to you and don't know why. My mom disapproved lol. I was turned off by something you did that I perceived to be wrong. It's just the way it went. I'm interested in being friends with you again and if you can't accept that then I think you need to get some help to move on with whatever the issue was. It's too long to be still feeling resentful after putting it aside and it popping back up for you to react negatively.
I'm very good at talking trash in a nice way and can offend just about anybody, if I sense the person gets mad about something. I did that with most of you guys. Hey! I was having trouble open up and most of you guys had to act dumb with me about it. lol.
Let's see why I was attracted to you physically. I think I like your body type and when you mentioned you work out, it was additional points for my mental books haha. I'm not going to write about sexual stuff on here regarding you, but I think I did well overall as a guy trying to develop into a decent friend.
There's nothing wrong with pursuing friendship and it isn't dating to begin with or impeding on a person's privacy. It's a natural occurrence that's blessed by God because people need one another to connect. It's the way life is intended and despite these hick-ups, it's not like they can't be avoided anyway. To be mature about it and to be able to push through it is amazing and to have a great outlook like I do now, it's definitely not a bad agenda to go after. I think you owe me an apology man lol!
Thursday, May 25, 2017
Making Sense of My Time
I'm starting to put it together now and it really comes down how I want to spend it. Mainly, I think I need to just give up on a few activities that's really taking me nowhere and exchange it for something more productive. That's pretty much the gist of it. Time is very important and I'm spending it like I have all the time in the world and doing other things too.
I pretty much need to get myself committed all over again and go from there. I have a lot of interests and accumulated a decent amount of friends. I still get lonely from time to time. I guess I'm still looking for my other half, so I wouldn't have to act stupid about my thoughts on experimenting with pre-marital sex. It's like I'm on a guilt trip because I have all of this morality issues embedded in me. I actually like it to say the truth and grateful for it, so I think I'll come to acceptance with where I'm at in that spiritual state of mind.
It looks like with dating though, I don't think the online world is really helping me that much. It's pretty tough to find someone cute and willing to go on a date with me. I might just have to look in person because the main thing I have that will throw off girls is that I'm only 5'3" which isn't that bad for my size that doesn't appear to be too short, but she doesn't know that from not seeing me in person by just looking at my online profile. Still, it's fun though to try to show it off with mainly cute girls online.
I pretty much need to get myself committed all over again and go from there. I have a lot of interests and accumulated a decent amount of friends. I still get lonely from time to time. I guess I'm still looking for my other half, so I wouldn't have to act stupid about my thoughts on experimenting with pre-marital sex. It's like I'm on a guilt trip because I have all of this morality issues embedded in me. I actually like it to say the truth and grateful for it, so I think I'll come to acceptance with where I'm at in that spiritual state of mind.
It looks like with dating though, I don't think the online world is really helping me that much. It's pretty tough to find someone cute and willing to go on a date with me. I might just have to look in person because the main thing I have that will throw off girls is that I'm only 5'3" which isn't that bad for my size that doesn't appear to be too short, but she doesn't know that from not seeing me in person by just looking at my online profile. Still, it's fun though to try to show it off with mainly cute girls online.
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
A Good Buddy Whose A Girl !!!
For the most part, it's great to have a friend I can confide in for some serious matters. She's my buddy and I've just got to know her for a few years now. I had a massive crush on her in the beginning, but over the period I learned to accept her status of being with an off-and-on partner who I don't think really makes sense, but hey it's her life and I have to respect it.
Just being open with her and letting her know that I think she's hot or cute on some photos or something she did, she doesn't really mind. I think she likes those complements from me because it comes straight out of my heart.
I'm currently not really thinking of it with pursuing her and I'm grateful for what she is already with me. One of the awesome things I've learned from my online girlfriend who was a con artist with me and stole two and a half paychecks from me because I was stupid is that this man or woman or tranny took its time in getting back to me. Therefore, I learned to take on some patience while feeling messed up and worrying about the approach I took in texting.
These days it's not so much that I'll rush into it like I did with this sexy buddy in the beginning who I'm currently great friends with now. I'm totally chill with her now too and we're just good friends in a loving way too. Yeah, she's pretty hot and also really nice. I concur when people tell me that. I'm just thinking though that we're just friends and I'm so cool with that even though outsiders might be wondering how it's like between us these days.
Definitely, this gets me thinking that Oyuri the Schmuck has been so totally out of the loop with my life and she was just trying to make fun of me by writing comments, but I ended up just tearing her apart with stronger trash talk and made a much finer exit after setting the golden standard of how to beat a bona fide loser!
Just being open with her and letting her know that I think she's hot or cute on some photos or something she did, she doesn't really mind. I think she likes those complements from me because it comes straight out of my heart.
I'm currently not really thinking of it with pursuing her and I'm grateful for what she is already with me. One of the awesome things I've learned from my online girlfriend who was a con artist with me and stole two and a half paychecks from me because I was stupid is that this man or woman or tranny took its time in getting back to me. Therefore, I learned to take on some patience while feeling messed up and worrying about the approach I took in texting.
These days it's not so much that I'll rush into it like I did with this sexy buddy in the beginning who I'm currently great friends with now. I'm totally chill with her now too and we're just good friends in a loving way too. Yeah, she's pretty hot and also really nice. I concur when people tell me that. I'm just thinking though that we're just friends and I'm so cool with that even though outsiders might be wondering how it's like between us these days.
Definitely, this gets me thinking that Oyuri the Schmuck has been so totally out of the loop with my life and she was just trying to make fun of me by writing comments, but I ended up just tearing her apart with stronger trash talk and made a much finer exit after setting the golden standard of how to beat a bona fide loser!
Monday, May 22, 2017
Making Sense Of My Silly, Angry Past
Basically I hate to admit on here that my dad isn't really a role model for me. I mentioned from last post that I hate his short temper, smoking, and couch potato activities. I've yelled at him back when he's done that to me and only for him to give up on me and call me annoying! He could be one of the reasons why I have such a high, addictive rate of communicating my frustrations with antagonists endlessly via messaging. I'm actually very strong at arguing my case in person too, but I'm just afraid of making myself look bad. I don't really have anything to lose now, so the scary part for everyone involved against me would be that I'm not going to hold back my verbal side with them.
I'm not really attracting negative attention anymore and my dealings with idiots have been trimming out over the years of experience I've been accumulating. It's just good to know that I feel a whole lot better these days from finally understanding that some people were just being stupid with me because I was struggling to open up.
I'm not really attracting negative attention anymore and my dealings with idiots have been trimming out over the years of experience I've been accumulating. It's just good to know that I feel a whole lot better these days from finally understanding that some people were just being stupid with me because I was struggling to open up.
My Identity With Talking Trash
The fact that I think my dad isn't that encouraging is an understatement. I really don't like his habits of smoking and watching TV all day while ignoring his high risk of being at type II diabetes. I really hate those things about my dad and think he's just being lazy. He also has a short hot temper which ticks me off a lot too. I've yelled at my dad when he has done it to me several times, only to really freak him out. Yeah, I'm not someone an average Joe or Joanna would want to tick off because I'll be on his or her case that is offensive and scary.
I realize who I am and I can be crazy good at talking trash or arguing my points only to make the antagonist give up on me. I can do it through verbal or writing; however with being verbal, I tend to be more laid back because when I'm writing, I would have put together all those frustrating thoughts before letting them out on the person. It's like the person is getting some hard, unwanted slaps that affects the mind and heart. I've abused that privilege a lot by continuously messaging the person who just gets fed up with it and then I end up creating fake accounts just for the sake of messaging them further to try to keep on getting even with them and then trying to take it a little too far.
I realize that I've been crazy in these incidents, but the people who I force to get along with me may be grateful for me and not wish any harm upon me on purpose.
I realize who I am and I can be crazy good at talking trash or arguing my points only to make the antagonist give up on me. I can do it through verbal or writing; however with being verbal, I tend to be more laid back because when I'm writing, I would have put together all those frustrating thoughts before letting them out on the person. It's like the person is getting some hard, unwanted slaps that affects the mind and heart. I've abused that privilege a lot by continuously messaging the person who just gets fed up with it and then I end up creating fake accounts just for the sake of messaging them further to try to keep on getting even with them and then trying to take it a little too far.
I realize that I've been crazy in these incidents, but the people who I force to get along with me may be grateful for me and not wish any harm upon me on purpose.
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Smack Talk From 8 Years Ago
*** Wow, I didn't know how smart I was back then. I just lacked a little confidence from holding back with actually writing this e-mail. It's definitely a wow and yeah, the guy I was talking trash to was being stupid. He's a pastor too which is unbelievable! ***
It was a mistake for me to write that repentance letter because I never knew how you would fail to be satisfied. I should have never really agreed with you in the beginning. You state stop when someone says to stop. I'll tell you to stop talking to anyone in general. Will you stop? I hope you say no. That example in itself illustrates being unreasonable. I accuse you of being unreasonable and that is why I ask you all these questions to clarify yourself.
You never really explained yourself clearly. You did not answer my questions in the beginning in a clear manner. I've asked something over and over again and you have not answered it. You have now given into it. That is why you are unreasonable. I want you to stop being unreasonable with me. If you don't stop I will take unbelievable measures against you.
It was a mistake for me to write that repentance letter because I never knew how you would fail to be satisfied. I should have never really agreed with you in the beginning. You state stop when someone says to stop. I'll tell you to stop talking to anyone in general. Will you stop? I hope you say no. That example in itself illustrates being unreasonable. I accuse you of being unreasonable and that is why I ask you all these questions to clarify yourself.
You never really explained yourself clearly. You did not answer my questions in the beginning in a clear manner. I've asked something over and over again and you have not answered it. You have now given into it. That is why you are unreasonable. I want you to stop being unreasonable with me. If you don't stop I will take unbelievable measures against you.
Friday, May 19, 2017
That Down Feeling
When that down and bored feeling hits, I'm going to just try to pray about it and keep moving along. Over at work, I think I'm just going to focus on doing work and maybe if I have to, think about what some of my plans are going to be afterwards.
It's time for me to just de-program my mind and put myself into shape for finding time to do cool and productive stuff. My goal is to still be a millionaire with a six pack but while not wasting time and having fun and also trying my very best at it on a consistent basis.
Things I'm Giving Up During Personal Time
This is all during my own personal time only.
Reason: I want to focus on other things.
2. Porn / Masturbation
3. Games with no value
4. Television
By doing so, I think I'll get my life back.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Blank Resolution With Oyuri the Schmuck
***I think I made a cat got her tongue with Oyuri the Schmuck. ***
Dang it let me block your account with this one lol. Don't do anything.
Oh wow, now I get it. It was a church wide misunderstanding about me lol. It's pretty dumb from a strategic point of view to message me back Oyuri [the Schmuck], but I take it that you do have a sense of humanity to want to care and write back to me. Wow some of those brothers and sisters showed true compassion with me from placing Jesus first. It's real man! Hey the tables have now turned and I have you blocked on Facebook haha. That's cool right? It's because I feel like I totally defeated you now. lol Yeahh, my hands are raised up in the air and I put it all together and despite your lack of intelligence, I do know now that you totally misjudged me.
Ready to move along and be friends again?
Dang it let me block your account with this one lol. Don't do anything.
Oh wow, now I get it. It was a church wide misunderstanding about me lol. It's pretty dumb from a strategic point of view to message me back Oyuri [the Schmuck], but I take it that you do have a sense of humanity to want to care and write back to me. Wow some of those brothers and sisters showed true compassion with me from placing Jesus first. It's real man! Hey the tables have now turned and I have you blocked on Facebook haha. That's cool right? It's because I feel like I totally defeated you now. lol Yeahh, my hands are raised up in the air and I put it all together and despite your lack of intelligence, I do know now that you totally misjudged me.
Ready to move along and be friends again?
Another Blunt Reply to Oyuri the Schmuck
Awww, I feel that you are hurt over my messages. I'll do you a favor and block your profile. I think that's the smartest thing for me to do now. You are lying about me trying to stalk you. I was just trying to get even with you and found it through messaging people lol. Sorry, I'm glad you know there's a crazy and wild girl out there for me. She fits me just perfectly huh, the crazy rocker chick with good looks still around her 30s or maybe go really young at around her 20s. Hmm, I could go with that. Thanks for believing in me girl . Hey, good luck with everything because I feel a whole lot better from coming clean with you and sorry for the strong language man that I used against you. What strong language? I didn't spell it out lol but you didn't get the point going on the defensive there I see it, you want to just focus on communicating your own situation. I see it now. I was having trouble girl opening up with me and was frustrated over your selfish communication style lol, but I hand it to you, you are feisty and if we did pair up YUCK, we would be called an O-YUCKI couple lol but yeah, I'd be really cute with you even though the world would look down on both of us hahah. Save us the burden and never go there hahaha. See ya babe ... unrequited hugs and kisses for you, it's okay I get it baby. XOXOXO
***I blocked Oyuri the Schmuck on my original account. It's for my own protection that my account wouldn't get disabled and lose all that cool stuff I have posted from good friends. ***
*** This is the stupid message Oyuri the Schmuck sent me after unblocking me like an idiot: ***
***I blocked Oyuri the Schmuck on my original account. It's for my own protection that my account wouldn't get disabled and lose all that cool stuff I have posted from good friends. ***
*** This is the stupid message Oyuri the Schmuck sent me after unblocking me like an idiot: ***
This is in case you don't get the other one from the other account you created. Leave me the f--- alone or I will take action.
It's been 4 f---en years get over your damn self. I never wanted to f--- you and I never will.
U must have issues due to the fact that you've been creating fake accounts to continue to harass me. If u took all that time in the past 4 years and applied it on become a better person, maybe just maybe u could have found the woman just as crazy as you to settle down with and lose your virginity to.
Have a blessed life. Please stop stalking and harassing me.
Ps I ain't got time to read a fake blog made by a crazy person who doesn't think they're crazy. I'm too busy actually living life.
Blunt Message to Oyuri the Schmuck
*** I can't block Oyuri the Schmuck's account for another 48 hours after unblocking it to send her this message. Really funny that she experienced it with me. ***
This is [name withheld]. That's not a big deal with you deactivating an account, but I did get a big load off my chest and feel so much better. I didn't receive a harassment notice because I expressed that I hate you and for you to stay away from me. From this account, I have your name blocked and I will do that to you again just for laughs. Yeah, I wasn't planning on writing another message to you because I was content from what I sent last time, but since you responded to me like an idiot, I'm writing another. Wow, I take it that you are a really sensitive lady and easily flustered like a dumb anime character. Okay, I chose to tease you lightly. You are mad about it now but I'm interested in being friends with you again. If you can't be my friend then you need some help to get over whatever the issue was. I had trouble opening up and you had to be dumb over it! There's nothing wrong with what I'm asking, but on a technicality you could try to deactivate this account too that I hardly use while I have your profile blocked on this one! LOL, such irony and would love to see the faces of Facebook employees skimming through this sentence with grimace. Anyway, sorry for using really strong language against you from the last post. Be careful with what you communicate because from being a guy, my fire will most likely burn stronger than yours. I can't say that I like your appearance or anything, but I will have an easier time biting back if you approach the whole situation in any way that P's me off. lol
This is [name withheld]. That's not a big deal with you deactivating an account, but I did get a big load off my chest and feel so much better. I didn't receive a harassment notice because I expressed that I hate you and for you to stay away from me. From this account, I have your name blocked and I will do that to you again just for laughs. Yeah, I wasn't planning on writing another message to you because I was content from what I sent last time, but since you responded to me like an idiot, I'm writing another. Wow, I take it that you are a really sensitive lady and easily flustered like a dumb anime character. Okay, I chose to tease you lightly. You are mad about it now but I'm interested in being friends with you again. If you can't be my friend then you need some help to get over whatever the issue was. I had trouble opening up and you had to be dumb over it! There's nothing wrong with what I'm asking, but on a technicality you could try to deactivate this account too that I hardly use while I have your profile blocked on this one! LOL, such irony and would love to see the faces of Facebook employees skimming through this sentence with grimace. Anyway, sorry for using really strong language against you from the last post. Be careful with what you communicate because from being a guy, my fire will most likely burn stronger than yours. I can't say that I like your appearance or anything, but I will have an easier time biting back if you approach the whole situation in any way that P's me off. lol
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Striving For Impossible
One of the qualities that I read a natural born leader does is that he or she tries to keep reaching after a goal that looks impossible to others. When everything seems hopeless and it's game over, the leader will keep on trying to pursue something that may seem stupid or a waste of time to others.
So what's impossible to me that makes me not a leader? Time travel, yeah I'm not going there.
So what's impossible to me that makes me not a leader? Time travel, yeah I'm not going there.
Monday, May 15, 2017
Honestly
I read my own poem that got me in trouble with the idiots. I surely did them in with this poem.
Poem About Annie and Betty
They try to deceptively walk in a distance of light,
But personality seems to make them hide.
They claim to have desires of marriage,
But the attractive traits for men are not really there.
Talking to them, others will say is a waste of time.
Not for me, I want information that's more than a dime.
Tackling strategies and writing about beautiful struggles,
My personality may actually be a little too normal.
The goodness in life that is found and toughened,
It all starts with a heart that wants to be broken.
Conceiving and encouraging for the right person,
Will be beneficial and helpful for Annie and Betty.
Aftermath:
Annie and Betty acted fine and it looked like Betty was interested in getting to know me more. I guess that mean talk and then sounding nice even though it's so annoying is sort of more of a push and pull method.
It's honestly a pretty funny poem that I wrote while having trouble opening up with my stupid care group. They were dumb and arrogant brats and broke up the group. I wonder if they ever got back together again as a care group. I don't have any high hopes for them now and going to play it realistically. With me sounding more truthfully, I've been acting more meaner towards them. Maybe that's why experienced butt heads choose to be nice to certain people out of picking up on it.
Poem About Annie and Betty
They try to deceptively walk in a distance of light,
But personality seems to make them hide.
They claim to have desires of marriage,
But the attractive traits for men are not really there.
Talking to them, others will say is a waste of time.
Not for me, I want information that's more than a dime.
Tackling strategies and writing about beautiful struggles,
My personality may actually be a little too normal.
The goodness in life that is found and toughened,
It all starts with a heart that wants to be broken.
Conceiving and encouraging for the right person,
Will be beneficial and helpful for Annie and Betty.
Aftermath:
Annie and Betty acted fine and it looked like Betty was interested in getting to know me more. I guess that mean talk and then sounding nice even though it's so annoying is sort of more of a push and pull method.
It's honestly a pretty funny poem that I wrote while having trouble opening up with my stupid care group. They were dumb and arrogant brats and broke up the group. I wonder if they ever got back together again as a care group. I don't have any high hopes for them now and going to play it realistically. With me sounding more truthfully, I've been acting more meaner towards them. Maybe that's why experienced butt heads choose to be nice to certain people out of picking up on it.
Keeping Up With Schedule
Well one of the things I'm finding myself spending a little too much time over is just messing around practically. There's really not much to it. I'm laughing while texting a good lady friend (we aren't dating) and also laughing while messing around with a buddy and also laughing while writing comments on my Facebook. I guess there's a lot of laughing going around here.
One of the things that I think practicing celibacy might do for me and then just going for bed intimacy in marriage while craving it from being celibate or married to an unwilling wife, I'll be able to focus a lot more better if I can overcome it! Yeah, it's just that too dang important and difficult to achieve.
Getting out of that hyper mode and like you want to inject yourself with a syringe, but I don't even though I'm making a literary comparison; it's definitely setting up for something like the next stage of improvement with bodily functions!
By mastering the body and telling Henry Winkle-ler (the Fonz) to lie there in agony on a regular basis will definitely give you some skills to be patient and overcome an activity that just really sucks but you need it to succeed.
One of the things that I think practicing celibacy might do for me and then just going for bed intimacy in marriage while craving it from being celibate or married to an unwilling wife, I'll be able to focus a lot more better if I can overcome it! Yeah, it's just that too dang important and difficult to achieve.
Getting out of that hyper mode and like you want to inject yourself with a syringe, but I don't even though I'm making a literary comparison; it's definitely setting up for something like the next stage of improvement with bodily functions!
By mastering the body and telling Henry Winkle-ler (the Fonz) to lie there in agony on a regular basis will definitely give you some skills to be patient and overcome an activity that just really sucks but you need it to succeed.
Something Nasty To Reveal
Masturbation doesn't feel so fun anymore. I think it's the constant sensation that just feels better from imagining it or something. I don't know what male porn stars are really thinking anymore. Well, it doesn't look like they have happy faces on either with what they call their own money shot.
Looks like on a technicality from having flawed emotions or a senseless brain now or something, I'm abstaining from masturbation. Maybe someone prayed for me to stop talking about masturbation and porn. If the person did, he or she just might have succeeded for me.
I think I'll just wait on getting married before having a wife to do that pleasant act with and start going rock and roll while tumbling around and do some crazy duets together. Yeah, it sounds romantic most definitely.
Looks like on a technicality from having flawed emotions or a senseless brain now or something, I'm abstaining from masturbation. Maybe someone prayed for me to stop talking about masturbation and porn. If the person did, he or she just might have succeeded for me.
I think I'll just wait on getting married before having a wife to do that pleasant act with and start going rock and roll while tumbling around and do some crazy duets together. Yeah, it sounds romantic most definitely.
Trash Talk in Christian Mode
Hey you are the guy from Hope of God LA right? I was maybe wondering on the small Bible study groups. I've heard some things about you.
That's because I'm [name witheld] and you suck and I will beat the living snot out of you if you attack me. I will incite you to put a restraining order on me. That would be so funny. A gay looking and funny looking guy like yourself putting a restraining order because you still have issues over wanting to be my friend.
Go get some professional help dude over getting over whatever it was that you can't let go because if you did, you would have no problems being a friend. That's what I want dude and if you can't do that then too bad because I'm putting a restraining order back on you.
I am this time going to scream and shout at you and will go for making you look bad. Let's see who you really are with all the Jesus shine being run out of you and you being tempted to want to throw yourself into the lake of fire! It's going to be done by me stupid idiot. Yeah I'll call you Mr Stupid Idiot too.
I had trouble opening up and you had to be such a dufus over it! I will give you a full mouth to chew on this time with me spilling truth and love. I'm just messing half of it from talking trash, but I was having fun dude. I'll have this type of fun and I will try to drive you so crazy that you will want to lock yourself into a mental hospital and spend solitary confinement rest of your days.
So yeah, that's me dude. I'm a fully grown man on the inside and can open up and also freely use you as a punching bag and get away with it legally if you try to attack me physically and make it look that way by inciting you. Hey, I'll be doing self-defense from the sake of making you angry and even better all for my enjoyment because I know you'll suck at defending yourself against me!
I feel a whole lot better dude, peace.
Friday, May 12, 2017
What's Up Dears?
I pretty much heard on a radio sermon that loving those idiotic enemies of mine will pretty much suffocate them. Not literally, but their stupidity will like fall out and so brings death to idiocy and life to a brand new friendship! Yeah! I'm just being sarcastic and humoring myself right now because it's plain funny to me.
The Dears that I'm referring to are those idiots. I might as well practice love and their humiliation through truth. Okay that was really funny to me and now I'm starting to think how funny it is to talk trash behind someone's back sometimes.
Anyway those idiotic dears can be my honeys any day by sticking their hands in a bee hive for me. They can take my bullet that was meant for me, so I can escape to live another day anytime they want to. I'll be grateful for sure still. Like an idiot they are, they won't think much and be like no, they refuse if I offer the same condition for them. I can live with me being smarter than those idiots and it doesn't have to be by much as well.
The Dears that I'm referring to are those idiots. I might as well practice love and their humiliation through truth. Okay that was really funny to me and now I'm starting to think how funny it is to talk trash behind someone's back sometimes.
Anyway those idiotic dears can be my honeys any day by sticking their hands in a bee hive for me. They can take my bullet that was meant for me, so I can escape to live another day anytime they want to. I'll be grateful for sure still. Like an idiot they are, they won't think much and be like no, they refuse if I offer the same condition for them. I can live with me being smarter than those idiots and it doesn't have to be by much as well.
Blunt Reply To Stupid Lee
Hey everyone just replying to this very old e-mail. It's quite entertaining to see what can turn up while trying to clean up about 50 K e-mails with the majority of it being unnecessary.
Okay Darunee (Lee), dang it you confused me while sending me this e-mail. This is my last sentence from re-reading this letter before sending and I feel a whole lot better. You had placed a civil restraining order on me to try to kick me out of your church not too long ago from this e-mail. Did it work to keep me out of there? No, because I didn't want to go away quietly after that. I was upset and extremely agitated about it that I waited it out no problem because you aren't worth stalking to me. I have better things to do like read the Bible, play video games, search for a better girl to date than you, etc.
Sorry to embarrass you (Stupid) Lee, but I'm making an example out of you because that's not how you conduct yourself with someone you are having problems dealing with. You need to fixate yourself more on God's love and center that on your relationships. You need to combine truth and love and if you had done that, you would have been much more patient and successful at encouraging everyone to develop themselves with where God had intended them to go.
You telling me to go get help was very irritating because it shows yourself to be incompetent and you voluntarily forced yourself onto me thinking you knew all the answers. I'm interested in being friends with you again (Stupid) Lee because that's how I roll, but I'm thinking about not playing fair anymore if you are going to still pull those type of strings. If you can't be friends with me, it's probably because you still have problems moving on with something. Don't mean to make you look bad here Lee, sorry, but if that's the case, you should get some professional help to address what the issue was. I sure as heck don't know what it was you were holding onto with me. I kept asking to try to communicate with you and you had a misunderstanding thinking that I was trying to negotiate with you. Well, yes and no. I just cared from being sensitive about being pleasing in my relationships.
I was definitely offended and trying to voice my opinion, but at the same time I was having trouble opening up about it. Majority of you had to be stupid about it with me! Sorry to call you Stupid Lee on my blog, but I'm hoping we make up someday in the long future. God is longbearing in suffering and patient, so love your neighbors with all your mind, heart, and soul. It's in God's commandments and if you can't live this well, then I'm going to be extremely mean to a lot of you just as Apostle John was with the religious Pharisees or Sadducees during post-crucifixion days.
Monday, May 8, 2017
Another Blunt Message
Hey Stephanie, I was driving to work and went through another non compos mentis imagination with Hope of God church in LA. It's been almost regularly and starting to just annoy me while thinking about it. I'm clearly ticked off and feel like I could do something about it to make myself happy; yet, I don't want to come across as too selfish planning revenge which would still remain legal and consistent. I don't care about digging a further hole now because I think it's already too deep. I think I'll be bossing around disturbed people, so might as well come to the acceptance that I'll be an angry bully with you guys. I'm honestly hoping that your church went through a spiritual make-over. One that would have a positive influence over me. Here's my secret Stephanie, I don't like you changing photos on Facebook especially with me being a "friend". Yeesh, that's why people have the unfollow button and I don't see why you guys have to be such buttheads about wanting to disassociate with me.
Going back to being friends again is a positive thing and if you can't, then it means you must need some help or something to move on with something. Yeah, you guys are crazy and it's driving me nuts that I just want to be all bossy with you guys now. I'm writing this because it's my temporary relief and I'm being very blunt. Whether you choose to read this or not, it really doesn't matter to me, but all of this text really affects me the most and I'm starting to take the blunt approach. It feels better and my heart wants to reach out and be friends again despite you all being stupid and making me want to cuss you guys out.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Don't Think It Matters
Okay, I'm friends with taller women and I just don't care now that they are taller than me. Or I'm just starting to get used to the idea of being the shorter man who just stays composed with himself.
I'm finding out that what I'm trying to get in excess is probably better experienced with the future wife if I ever marry. I should just leave it in the God's hands and also mine too now. I still struggle with the feelings of wanting to have sex every so often. I end up just masturbating to porn, which I'm not proud of saying but I'm just revealing this about myself. I would like to end this activity if I can before finding a hot wife.
It's sort of like a drug and something I revert back to once in awhile. It's something that I can't control too heavily and find myself in rebellion with God. I'm just wanting to turn my back then right there because my heart is incapable of listening to God's goodness or to be able to understand the promises. I think it's through this hardship that God would really like me to endure. I think through the Holy Spirit, Jesus truly wants to comfort me and give me that assurance that everything will be all right. I just haven't been able to grab a hold of it yet fully because a few things still test my patience and get me angry and wanting to think about crazy thoughts.
I'm finding out that what I'm trying to get in excess is probably better experienced with the future wife if I ever marry. I should just leave it in the God's hands and also mine too now. I still struggle with the feelings of wanting to have sex every so often. I end up just masturbating to porn, which I'm not proud of saying but I'm just revealing this about myself. I would like to end this activity if I can before finding a hot wife.
It's sort of like a drug and something I revert back to once in awhile. It's something that I can't control too heavily and find myself in rebellion with God. I'm just wanting to turn my back then right there because my heart is incapable of listening to God's goodness or to be able to understand the promises. I think it's through this hardship that God would really like me to endure. I think through the Holy Spirit, Jesus truly wants to comfort me and give me that assurance that everything will be all right. I just haven't been able to grab a hold of it yet fully because a few things still test my patience and get me angry and wanting to think about crazy thoughts.
Planning Again
I still haven't been able to get it together with scheduling everything and staying on top. Okay I'll try to make another effort then. I sort of have a headache right now so maybe I have a slight cold or something. It could probably be that I'm just a little dehydrated right now.
I need to get back into dedicating myself again into doing what I had in mind of doing. I'm still struggling a little with wanting to marry a hot and loving girlfriend. I haven't made one yet, so I'm just coming to an acceptance with it. In the meantime, I might as well keep on trying to build myself up and prepare for the right things and to just keep on trying.
I need to get back into dedicating myself again into doing what I had in mind of doing. I'm still struggling a little with wanting to marry a hot and loving girlfriend. I haven't made one yet, so I'm just coming to an acceptance with it. In the meantime, I might as well keep on trying to build myself up and prepare for the right things and to just keep on trying.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Whole Life Routine
I think the routine that I have thought up is wonderful, but all I'm missing is actually getting around to doing them daily, along with that I would like to have a lot of free time to find other things to do and give back to the community. I would seriously like to have a girlfriend now, despite me being short. Getting a lovely girlfriend is going to be no easy task from being a short dude of only 5' 3" at this young age for me. There's not going to be too many opportunities. I guess I'll let the whole world know on this site, if I do get lucky to score a really hot girl and have her marry me. Hope she won't mind the criticism that people direct at her from me just being short. Maybe she will, so maybe I'm just living a pipe dream. I think my reputation will play a large role in finding someone suitable too.
In the meantime, I could try to raise up my salary which would be very nice. I'm really trying to go after doing my own thing without having to rely on an employer for security. It's really something to just keep on trying and doing the best one can. I guess it comes down to just getting lucky with a certain opportunity. It's more like allowing for fate to just connect with one another.
Okay, so I'm waking up at around 5:10 am and get ready and I'm at work by 7. I think I could try to prepare myself for getting ready sooner and then kill a little time from being up by preparing my day or something. Then I get out of work at 4:30 pm and by 6:00 pm, I've had dinner at home.
Realizing this, I have five hours before I fall asleep and can't get up until the next day. That free time is very critical for me to use for getting ahead of the game. I would like those five hours to increase to a longer duration so I could have more fun while being financially successful and giving back to the community.
This is pretty much my unique setup that I'm still trying to master. It's not so mind boggling as it used to be: Bible reading, working out, trading, playing poker, song and music, game programming, cooking, dancing, socializing, running errands, and making plans.
These are my goals and I look to make some good money from trading and game programming. Since it looks like I'm putting off trying to get a girlfriend from being busy and also feeling inferior about scoring a hot date, I should just accept that it might never come to me and not give up by indulging myself in porn.
In the meantime, I could try to raise up my salary which would be very nice. I'm really trying to go after doing my own thing without having to rely on an employer for security. It's really something to just keep on trying and doing the best one can. I guess it comes down to just getting lucky with a certain opportunity. It's more like allowing for fate to just connect with one another.
Okay, so I'm waking up at around 5:10 am and get ready and I'm at work by 7. I think I could try to prepare myself for getting ready sooner and then kill a little time from being up by preparing my day or something. Then I get out of work at 4:30 pm and by 6:00 pm, I've had dinner at home.
Realizing this, I have five hours before I fall asleep and can't get up until the next day. That free time is very critical for me to use for getting ahead of the game. I would like those five hours to increase to a longer duration so I could have more fun while being financially successful and giving back to the community.
This is pretty much my unique setup that I'm still trying to master. It's not so mind boggling as it used to be: Bible reading, working out, trading, playing poker, song and music, game programming, cooking, dancing, socializing, running errands, and making plans.
These are my goals and I look to make some good money from trading and game programming. Since it looks like I'm putting off trying to get a girlfriend from being busy and also feeling inferior about scoring a hot date, I should just accept that it might never come to me and not give up by indulging myself in porn.
Progress From Yesterday
I ended up coming home and having Chinese dinner with my dad. After that I went home and ended up watching an hour of Family Feud. I do enjoy watching it and the host makes a whole lot more than the contestants. He makes about $300,000 a episode and the families can only earn up to $20,000. The show does get funny at times and it's interesting that just the final answer can make a family win the whole game.
I don't think I really have time for that game at this point in time. By the time I get home and finish dinner, I will approximately have about five hours of free time before I just wipe out from exhaustion.
I did read the Bible and make about a hundred dollars playing online poker last night. I was also playing solitaire addictively for about 90 minutes, along with minesweeper. I think I can lay off of those PC games to try to accomplish working out at least. My mind was having a hard time going out to work out, but I know I want to will myself to do it.
Honestly, I really want to complete a triathlon while being at the top shape with a bit of muscle mass and ripped abs.
I don't think I really have time for that game at this point in time. By the time I get home and finish dinner, I will approximately have about five hours of free time before I just wipe out from exhaustion.
I did read the Bible and make about a hundred dollars playing online poker last night. I was also playing solitaire addictively for about 90 minutes, along with minesweeper. I think I can lay off of those PC games to try to accomplish working out at least. My mind was having a hard time going out to work out, but I know I want to will myself to do it.
Honestly, I really want to complete a triathlon while being at the top shape with a bit of muscle mass and ripped abs.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Updated Tasks
My sarcastic goal is to lock up those idiots in a mental institution for life! I'm just kidding but yeah it did make me laugh for a little bit underneath.
I don't think I can really afford to watch too much TV now with the parents. From doing that activity of being a couch potato and falling asleep on the sofa, it really racks up on some unwanted pounds. My mom doesn't see that and she complains about how she works out and eats little, but doesn't get satisfactory results. Well, I can't explain it to my own mother that enough level of exercise hasn't been met. My mom is extremely weak and can't push the body hard for a good duration.
When I get home, I should be reading the Bible and getting warmed up for some trading. Right after doing that, I could get ready for a work out. After I get back, I could be playing a little online poker which I got back into and practicing some guitar and piano while trying to improve upon my singing chops by myself. I don't really get that far obviously with my singing, but it's still fun to try for me.
After doing some of that with the time I have remaining I could try to do some additional game programming and cooking. This is pretty much my routine I have going until I can get lucky enough to have a lovely girlfriend.
I'm setting aside the weekend to do stuff with cool friends pretty much and I guess relax or maybe I might be trying to polish up on a few things too. I'm also really interested in learning to dance socially too. I need to get back into that.
I'm starting to enjoy playing poker and yeah, I have to play it responsibly because losing to a better hand doesn't hurt me so much anymore. I'm going to see if I can pull up a thousand dollars a week doing that gig part time. That's pretty much the maximum amount the site will allow a player, and it seems like a reasonable figure. It's a very low figure, but I don't mind because it's just mainly about having fun.
While mixing in trading and poker and doing some game programming on the side with a top of the line computer, I can see myself branching off from my regular job to do something I enjoy daily. I think earning a stable $100,000 per month in a legit manner is definitely a doable figure for me and will be mid-level with the things I have planned and fits my comfort zone and living expectations.
I don't think I can really afford to watch too much TV now with the parents. From doing that activity of being a couch potato and falling asleep on the sofa, it really racks up on some unwanted pounds. My mom doesn't see that and she complains about how she works out and eats little, but doesn't get satisfactory results. Well, I can't explain it to my own mother that enough level of exercise hasn't been met. My mom is extremely weak and can't push the body hard for a good duration.
When I get home, I should be reading the Bible and getting warmed up for some trading. Right after doing that, I could get ready for a work out. After I get back, I could be playing a little online poker which I got back into and practicing some guitar and piano while trying to improve upon my singing chops by myself. I don't really get that far obviously with my singing, but it's still fun to try for me.
After doing some of that with the time I have remaining I could try to do some additional game programming and cooking. This is pretty much my routine I have going until I can get lucky enough to have a lovely girlfriend.
I'm setting aside the weekend to do stuff with cool friends pretty much and I guess relax or maybe I might be trying to polish up on a few things too. I'm also really interested in learning to dance socially too. I need to get back into that.
I'm starting to enjoy playing poker and yeah, I have to play it responsibly because losing to a better hand doesn't hurt me so much anymore. I'm going to see if I can pull up a thousand dollars a week doing that gig part time. That's pretty much the maximum amount the site will allow a player, and it seems like a reasonable figure. It's a very low figure, but I don't mind because it's just mainly about having fun.
While mixing in trading and poker and doing some game programming on the side with a top of the line computer, I can see myself branching off from my regular job to do something I enjoy daily. I think earning a stable $100,000 per month in a legit manner is definitely a doable figure for me and will be mid-level with the things I have planned and fits my comfort zone and living expectations.
New Insight
Okay so I practically told that fake girlfriend of mine to buzz off. I don't think she gets it that I fully see her as a fake now. She tried to get me sucked back in, but nah, I'm not having it that way anymore. I think the biggest strength that we can use against scammers is to mainly have acceptance. I think my comfort level is way over the roof and I prefer to be a good guy, so I'm a very susceptible target.
We have to make precautions and from my mistake I made with this scammer, I've learned from it and won't do the same thing again. It's easy because I haven't seen her face or anything, but what will make it more difficult is if the person is someone I ended up marrying! I hope it doesn't go that far, so yeah, out of that I'm not entertaining that schemer.
Okay, so I've recovered roughly half of what I lost already from getting my pay-check. It would have been nice to still have what I lost, but from losing it, I'm made aware that I'm still doing alright with my finances and that I can plan to spend them better to pay off my bills entirely.
We have to make precautions and from my mistake I made with this scammer, I've learned from it and won't do the same thing again. It's easy because I haven't seen her face or anything, but what will make it more difficult is if the person is someone I ended up marrying! I hope it doesn't go that far, so yeah, out of that I'm not entertaining that schemer.
Okay, so I've recovered roughly half of what I lost already from getting my pay-check. It would have been nice to still have what I lost, but from losing it, I'm made aware that I'm still doing alright with my finances and that I can plan to spend them better to pay off my bills entirely.
Planning Ahead
Well, I'm not really proud of what I did and honestly, climaxing after masturbating to porn felt great too for temporarily but now I'm starting to think that going there is overrated. I've been trending at around once every few weeks. I'm starting to accept that even though my dong is actually in pretty good shape and slightly above average in size, for being a short guy who wants to have sex with a lovely wife, it's not that likely so might as well not try to put myself in a fantasy world when I should learn to be happy from being realistic.
I'm still trying the best I can and I know that it's not good enough. I totally rely on the strength of the full Christian gospel to help me pull through. Nothing added nor taken away- the way the Old Testament and New Testament is now works for me.
My faith is basically not in the idiots at that church, but mainly in Jesus; although I love those idiots. It's because I'll still be friends with them, even though they will initially have problems accepting that about me. I feel so much better from just writing bluntly.
I'm a pretty normal guy and been told that I'm cool; therefore, I only have three lovely Asian girls who I get to hang with right now. They all aren't fat or anything. One of them already has a boyfriend and she's the hottest out of them, but she's a really cool pal to me. I don't mind her being taken actually and the physical attraction doesn't really matter to me. I love her for who she is and she has a pleasant soul. Another friend out of the trio looks like an ideal girlfriend for me on the surface; we look like a cute couple. I like hanging out with her just because of how we look to people. People mind their own business with us really and some cute girls smile while passing us, so I guess that's a great thing. A few have asked if we are dating and my friend would be like no we're just friends while laughing about it. She doesn't seem bothered by it, and I'm not too.
I'm still trying the best I can and I know that it's not good enough. I totally rely on the strength of the full Christian gospel to help me pull through. Nothing added nor taken away- the way the Old Testament and New Testament is now works for me.
My faith is basically not in the idiots at that church, but mainly in Jesus; although I love those idiots. It's because I'll still be friends with them, even though they will initially have problems accepting that about me. I feel so much better from just writing bluntly.
I'm a pretty normal guy and been told that I'm cool; therefore, I only have three lovely Asian girls who I get to hang with right now. They all aren't fat or anything. One of them already has a boyfriend and she's the hottest out of them, but she's a really cool pal to me. I don't mind her being taken actually and the physical attraction doesn't really matter to me. I love her for who she is and she has a pleasant soul. Another friend out of the trio looks like an ideal girlfriend for me on the surface; we look like a cute couple. I like hanging out with her just because of how we look to people. People mind their own business with us really and some cute girls smile while passing us, so I guess that's a great thing. A few have asked if we are dating and my friend would be like no we're just friends while laughing about it. She doesn't seem bothered by it, and I'm not too.
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