Well, I'm starting to see that I need to get back into working out regularly and I'm just letting my money waste by not taking advantage of it. Timing is so important and I need to factor that in. I really do want to get some better upper body strength so indoor climbing is the way to go for me. I guess it's one step at a time and adding on as time can permit and to work at creating more time to do stuff that interests me practically.
You know, it actually does feel good to hug one of my Asian lady friends. I actually can get hugs from two out of four of them now regularly. It's a 50% success rate so far. The other two well, I don't know. One of them just says "Bye" in an almost awkward manner and just takes off after hanging out. She enjoys laughing too, so it's quite interesting to get a half-hearted hug from her. It's like she's interested in taking the next step. I'm like whatever.
I would really like to improve on my countenance and become more camera friendly. It would be fun to just hang out and take nice photos while looking good and also feeling great in the process of staying clean and healthy.
Basically, as much as I can handle daily without losing valuable time. I'm starting to actively count by minutes now of how I spend my time. I know that five minutes of doing something I'm interested in can seriously make a difference for me. Sometimes, I'm so engaged and having fun that I'm too selfish about letting that activity go and when I force myself to let go, I feel out of place. I guess that's what people do to me in that it feels like they are dragging me into some things.
Anyhow it's cool and I've been trying to mediate of my activities and will my mind to push my body forward into doing my priorities without just sitting there and waiting for myself to awkwardly shutdown at night. I just need to get into the motion and be consistent with it and manage my time wisely. It's all of this consistency with discipline and knowing what it is that I'm going for. I'm so willing to take chances like gambling my money reasonably (not everything but a little and to the point, I'd still have money to pay bills) on a business that I've been interested in.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Thursday, August 31, 2017
Increase of Girl Count
I've been averaging hanging out with three Asian girls and they are decent looking too! Basically, they aren't fat and have some of that goodness quality that people like in ladies. I now have added on another Asian girl to hang with now. Instead of three, it's now four! Sometimes, it can be up to eight Asian girls that I'm hanging out with from the last couple years.
It seems like God is making me avoid hanging out with Korean girls. It's like God gave me a chance with them and I screwed up so it's "Baby, bye. Bye. Bye. I don't want to be a fool." If my little sister counts for hanging out which I don't and a few incredibly cute and pretty cousins also which I don't count, then I guess I don't really hang with Korean girls.
I've hung out with a co-worker's Korean daughter and she's cool and nice. I don't really respond to her and don't care that much even though she's actually pretty hot. I'm thinking she has a boyfriend already so I'm like whatever.
It seems like God is making me avoid hanging out with Korean girls. It's like God gave me a chance with them and I screwed up so it's "Baby, bye. Bye. Bye. I don't want to be a fool." If my little sister counts for hanging out which I don't and a few incredibly cute and pretty cousins also which I don't count, then I guess I don't really hang with Korean girls.
I've hung out with a co-worker's Korean daughter and she's cool and nice. I don't really respond to her and don't care that much even though she's actually pretty hot. I'm thinking she has a boyfriend already so I'm like whatever.
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Within Reason, I Believe
I have commenting privileges on this blog shut off and only for one reason, it's because when I was gunning for responses, I got nothing most of the time. I figure it looks silly to see zero comments all the time because I tend to go re-read my recent posts often. I like to get a good laugh at the stuff I write so I am intentionally trying to write in this type of manner just for entertaining myself.
From trying to write in a more structured and comprehensible approach, I'm seeing that it's really benefitting me a lot. I see that my flaw is that I will leave out a few critical details that seems like a really-easy implied thing to do, but just gets missed. It can get annoying because I find myself having to put things on halt to backtrack again for a little bit. A common mistake I've noticed with myself is that right after I barely leave my neighborhood, I remember that I need to drive back to the house to pick up something. It's something I beat myself up over every once awhile. I don't literally hit myself, it's a figure of speech.
Going off topic to talk about my figure of speech, I actually have smacked myself in the head many times for losing concentration in elementary school out of frustration while studying. I would start crying. I think my dad ended up doing it for me, and I hated him for doing that. I really feel like beating up my dad these days because of that memory I'm not so fond of.
One thing I have been so worried about was losing my intelligence from whacking myself so much from the shock. It's actually true in that one really can lose some of that natural intelligence.
A friend's brother fell off a two story building after the rooftop collapsed while he was going after retrieving his favorite toy. It left a head injury where surgeons had to reconstruct his skull with a metal plate at the age of around five or six. After that incident and thankfully surviving, his thinking pattern was a bit slower and he felt for the longest time because of that one mistake, he was destined to be a failure academically and never fully recovered from losing both will and IQ power!
My friend's brother is fully grown up and his highlight to me is that he will sound like he is talking his own language when he is angry and start blurting out comments that I can't make out while shouting. It's funny to endure, until he lets out his vexing and high-pitched laughter that pierces my ear and arouses my own anger. He does it because he finds the response very entertaining and just doesn't care about life at that point. He's in a position where he feels secure to let out all that anger and continuously do it everyday while feeling like he is the best at fulfilling his own mission. The saying for him is true in that it goes, ignorance is bliss.
From trying to write in a more structured and comprehensible approach, I'm seeing that it's really benefitting me a lot. I see that my flaw is that I will leave out a few critical details that seems like a really-easy implied thing to do, but just gets missed. It can get annoying because I find myself having to put things on halt to backtrack again for a little bit. A common mistake I've noticed with myself is that right after I barely leave my neighborhood, I remember that I need to drive back to the house to pick up something. It's something I beat myself up over every once awhile. I don't literally hit myself, it's a figure of speech.
Going off topic to talk about my figure of speech, I actually have smacked myself in the head many times for losing concentration in elementary school out of frustration while studying. I would start crying. I think my dad ended up doing it for me, and I hated him for doing that. I really feel like beating up my dad these days because of that memory I'm not so fond of.
One thing I have been so worried about was losing my intelligence from whacking myself so much from the shock. It's actually true in that one really can lose some of that natural intelligence.
A friend's brother fell off a two story building after the rooftop collapsed while he was going after retrieving his favorite toy. It left a head injury where surgeons had to reconstruct his skull with a metal plate at the age of around five or six. After that incident and thankfully surviving, his thinking pattern was a bit slower and he felt for the longest time because of that one mistake, he was destined to be a failure academically and never fully recovered from losing both will and IQ power!
My friend's brother is fully grown up and his highlight to me is that he will sound like he is talking his own language when he is angry and start blurting out comments that I can't make out while shouting. It's funny to endure, until he lets out his vexing and high-pitched laughter that pierces my ear and arouses my own anger. He does it because he finds the response very entertaining and just doesn't care about life at that point. He's in a position where he feels secure to let out all that anger and continuously do it everyday while feeling like he is the best at fulfilling his own mission. The saying for him is true in that it goes, ignorance is bliss.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Plans
I guess I'm falling asleep around maybe 10 or 11 at night so I might as well just plan how I'm going to do this. It's pretty much dinner right after I come home. Lately, I've been also doing some bowling from buying a season pass. It's like the best $40 I spent this year. It comes with three games and shoe rental which would be closely around $10 so considering how I've tried to go everyday from two months ago, yeah I'm bowling a lot better than I used to be.
I guess right after dinner, I could suit up in my gym clothes and just try to work out with a full tummy after waiting around twenty minutes. I'm thinking I will just shuffle between gym time and indoor rock climbing from having a membership to both. I guess that won't hurt then otherwise just getting myself really sore from trying to kill my muscles!
After that, I could wash up and finish up my facial products that I've been neglecting to get rid of my acne scars. I also have this growing taller book that has stretches and believe me, nobody believed me when I told him or her about it. I only grew 1/2 inches from using that book at the age of 26. Only 1/2 inches, yes and it took like 6 months of stretching daily. It was boring and I only squeezed out 1/2 inches before giving up. I'm going to try it again and get some short girls who are passed their growth to join me.
Let's see after applying that growing taller scam where I grew only 1/2 inches with it while having passed my growing stage at age 26, I'll work on doing some fast paced Forex trading. I want to be a billionaire someday so bad! Yeah right, I'll be happy with just a salary of one million a year. Just? Yes, you heard that right.
Lastly, while I'm tired I'll read the Bible and a great commentary that acts like I'm reading a sermon to put myself to sleep. If I'm still awake, I might as well mess around with playing the piano and guitar or just save that for the weekend. I can also mess around with trying to cook late at night while half asleep, if I refuse to go to bed.
In summary, right after work, I have dinner, working out, facial products and growing taller scam, learning to trade Forex for attempting billionaire status, and lastly reading Bible with any miscellaneous stuff to put myself to sleep. It's about ten things or less to do.
I guess right after dinner, I could suit up in my gym clothes and just try to work out with a full tummy after waiting around twenty minutes. I'm thinking I will just shuffle between gym time and indoor rock climbing from having a membership to both. I guess that won't hurt then otherwise just getting myself really sore from trying to kill my muscles!
After that, I could wash up and finish up my facial products that I've been neglecting to get rid of my acne scars. I also have this growing taller book that has stretches and believe me, nobody believed me when I told him or her about it. I only grew 1/2 inches from using that book at the age of 26. Only 1/2 inches, yes and it took like 6 months of stretching daily. It was boring and I only squeezed out 1/2 inches before giving up. I'm going to try it again and get some short girls who are passed their growth to join me.
Let's see after applying that growing taller scam where I grew only 1/2 inches with it while having passed my growing stage at age 26, I'll work on doing some fast paced Forex trading. I want to be a billionaire someday so bad! Yeah right, I'll be happy with just a salary of one million a year. Just? Yes, you heard that right.
Lastly, while I'm tired I'll read the Bible and a great commentary that acts like I'm reading a sermon to put myself to sleep. If I'm still awake, I might as well mess around with playing the piano and guitar or just save that for the weekend. I can also mess around with trying to cook late at night while half asleep, if I refuse to go to bed.
In summary, right after work, I have dinner, working out, facial products and growing taller scam, learning to trade Forex for attempting billionaire status, and lastly reading Bible with any miscellaneous stuff to put myself to sleep. It's about ten things or less to do.
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Getting Back On Track
Okay, I'm having a little too many off nights or that's how it feels like. I figure from having these 'many' nights where I think about my life and where it's leading to, it's about time that I developed some winning habits.
There could be at least 10 things that I would like to accomplish daily. If I'm lucky enough, I can get through three of them on average. I'm just going to have to be dedicated to it then no matter how tired I am.
What Sarah Michelle Gellar once said in her youth while playing Buffy the vampire slayer or starring in random movies is to keep on going, until you drop dead! That's precisely how I feel I need to be going at the old age of 34.
Yeah, I act a lot more silly than I do for my age. I guess when I'm mad and going on full onslaught with randomness and silliness then the person I'm doing it to messed up big time and is going to feel stupid because the situation is likely not that serious anyway and I'm just letting out what I'm feeling while I'm aware of what I'm doing. I don't really want to yell at anybody because I hate being yelled at or told off for something not that serious and feels one-sided. I might have to yell just to let the person know what I'm capable of doing and that I'm making an effort to befriend because this is in my Christian genes.
My personality carries the gift of mercy for some reason and just enjoys being at peace even over arguing about stupid things and while being still angry. I get angry from being told off for a situation that isn't serious and doesn't deal with something personally. I try to hold it in though and be nice about it which is hard considering that I'm furious and trying to make fun of the person and being offensive while sounding nice at the same time. So I'm practically this little guy going on a silly tirade which can be offensive while trying to be a winner of the argument. Overall, I'm just not going to base it on feelings of uncertainty nor fear anymore, but more about what I desire with others. What I'm looking for is just a basic friendship if the person I'm dealing with is too stupid to be my friend over whatever selfish issues they end up developing with me.
I'm pretty much in position these days with age, experience, and reading skill level to take it to another level of dedication and to go where I want to go.
There could be at least 10 things that I would like to accomplish daily. If I'm lucky enough, I can get through three of them on average. I'm just going to have to be dedicated to it then no matter how tired I am.
What Sarah Michelle Gellar once said in her youth while playing Buffy the vampire slayer or starring in random movies is to keep on going, until you drop dead! That's precisely how I feel I need to be going at the old age of 34.
Yeah, I act a lot more silly than I do for my age. I guess when I'm mad and going on full onslaught with randomness and silliness then the person I'm doing it to messed up big time and is going to feel stupid because the situation is likely not that serious anyway and I'm just letting out what I'm feeling while I'm aware of what I'm doing. I don't really want to yell at anybody because I hate being yelled at or told off for something not that serious and feels one-sided. I might have to yell just to let the person know what I'm capable of doing and that I'm making an effort to befriend because this is in my Christian genes.
My personality carries the gift of mercy for some reason and just enjoys being at peace even over arguing about stupid things and while being still angry. I get angry from being told off for a situation that isn't serious and doesn't deal with something personally. I try to hold it in though and be nice about it which is hard considering that I'm furious and trying to make fun of the person and being offensive while sounding nice at the same time. So I'm practically this little guy going on a silly tirade which can be offensive while trying to be a winner of the argument. Overall, I'm just not going to base it on feelings of uncertainty nor fear anymore, but more about what I desire with others. What I'm looking for is just a basic friendship if the person I'm dealing with is too stupid to be my friend over whatever selfish issues they end up developing with me.
I'm pretty much in position these days with age, experience, and reading skill level to take it to another level of dedication and to go where I want to go.
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Creating Fun Routine
Now I'm realizing how fun it truly might be to stick with something and make plans with all the available resources. I guess learning to let things go has been really hard on me, but to be able to do it a lot better than before, it has been better to say the truth.
I really didn't feel any passion with my last few positions at work, so I was really limited. These days I'm feeling the joy and capacity of going after it. I'd really like to have enough stability to leave my company someday and be able to go do other stuff while making money through trading successfully.
I really didn't feel any passion with my last few positions at work, so I was really limited. These days I'm feeling the joy and capacity of going after it. I'd really like to have enough stability to leave my company someday and be able to go do other stuff while making money through trading successfully.
Making Plans Again
Well, for the time being, I would really like to focus on trading a technique that I have come to believe works great! I'm pretty much just trying to do repetition with reading up on stuff and hopefully that will be enough working knowledge someday to lead myself into a profitable path.
It's really simple for me. I just want to work on my own and not really have to report to a typical job. I would rather make a lot of dough while having a lot of down time to make myself available to do stuff and also give to deserving charities.
I'm grateful for web search to offer clubs and meetups with other locals. It would be fun to be a very fit and healthy person while having a lot of great friends to occupy myself with and to also have time to cook and work on other cool projects that I would enjoy doing.
It's really simple for me. I just want to work on my own and not really have to report to a typical job. I would rather make a lot of dough while having a lot of down time to make myself available to do stuff and also give to deserving charities.
I'm grateful for web search to offer clubs and meetups with other locals. It would be fun to be a very fit and healthy person while having a lot of great friends to occupy myself with and to also have time to cook and work on other cool projects that I would enjoy doing.
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Coming To Calmness
From being friends with girls, I think girls in general can be crazy every once in awhile. It's great to still hang out with girls and be friends with them because they can be like the coolest to hang with. Female friends can be really helpful with being accepting and encouraging sensitive feelings to be let out and pitch in with a more harmonious flow of things.
I myself have become a lot more tolerant to preferences with who the eligible girl wants to date. I'm open with having a supportive role for her and would think it's cool if she does maintain a happy relationship with a great guy. For myself, I guess I don't really know how to respond to a girl's interest that well. I would like to be mainly genuine and stay cool with people as best as I can.
Yeah, what really ticks me off is being ganged up over something that isn't serious but has been escalating on its own while I've been trying to be cool about it and attempt to defuse it without me going into shout mode. From conclusion though, it's not that serious anyway and I'm fortunate they really didn't influence me in any way or make some sort of impact like I did to them. They were the ones to act out in their own silly accusations with me and couldn't take it that far with me. I really have something to be grateful about then.
I myself have become a lot more tolerant to preferences with who the eligible girl wants to date. I'm open with having a supportive role for her and would think it's cool if she does maintain a happy relationship with a great guy. For myself, I guess I don't really know how to respond to a girl's interest that well. I would like to be mainly genuine and stay cool with people as best as I can.
Yeah, what really ticks me off is being ganged up over something that isn't serious but has been escalating on its own while I've been trying to be cool about it and attempt to defuse it without me going into shout mode. From conclusion though, it's not that serious anyway and I'm fortunate they really didn't influence me in any way or make some sort of impact like I did to them. They were the ones to act out in their own silly accusations with me and couldn't take it that far with me. I really have something to be grateful about then.
Being Acceptable
I think if I lose friends on Facebook now then if I want to make some more then I might as well just put myself out there to do so. It's been really cool to have a fairly good ground with female friends. They can be like the funniest and coolest bunch sometimes. It's a little different because of some possibly perceived sexuality from being straight. I mean I'm really comfortable with just being friends if the girl is really pretty and I like her for who she is a lot.
I guess just being plain okay is fine and working hard at something to earn a decent life is just dandy and a blessing from God that a person can maintain. I'm just a layman and not called to be any pastor. I totally know that. I don't really have that gift for being a pastor and it just doesn't really appeal to me that much to pursue. I do appreciate the pastors a lot though who really go out of their way to serve the Lord and His sheep.
I guess just being plain okay is fine and working hard at something to earn a decent life is just dandy and a blessing from God that a person can maintain. I'm just a layman and not called to be any pastor. I totally know that. I don't really have that gift for being a pastor and it just doesn't really appeal to me that much to pursue. I do appreciate the pastors a lot though who really go out of their way to serve the Lord and His sheep.
Cursed By Height
I personally feel that by being only 5' 3" and pretty old now like at 34 and still no wife, I guess I'm just in the path for making myself into forced monk. I mean I have a friend who hopes that I make a good girlfriend. Even my uncle, parents, and people around me talk about me getting a girlfriend.
I just feel like the biggest reason why I can't get a hot girlfriend is because of my height. Maybe the hot girl is a bit shallow and with me wanting to date one, I just don't fit in her requirements so I'm like screwing myself over. I guess my appearance just doesn't really fit in a girl's preference.
I think it's all fun now though, so I'd like to switch over to sharing cool and charismatic stuff and things to work hard for to look good naturally. Basically, I'd like to try my best at all accounts and keep on improving and making myself better. It's just about making routinely my best effort without losing heart. My psyche does feel a whole lot better to say the truth.
I just feel like the biggest reason why I can't get a hot girlfriend is because of my height. Maybe the hot girl is a bit shallow and with me wanting to date one, I just don't fit in her requirements so I'm like screwing myself over. I guess my appearance just doesn't really fit in a girl's preference.
I think it's all fun now though, so I'd like to switch over to sharing cool and charismatic stuff and things to work hard for to look good naturally. Basically, I'd like to try my best at all accounts and keep on improving and making myself better. It's just about making routinely my best effort without losing heart. My psyche does feel a whole lot better to say the truth.
Thursday, August 17, 2017
Becoming Stronger Mentally
From actually resisting my urges to look at porn, I'm now realizing how much more I'm able to stand things better with my friends. It's a lot of unspoken selfish issues underneath and it really can tick anyone off for whatever reason, but from just holding back and willing to be glad in an unselfish or loving manner, it's really helped me out in putting together my relationships with people.
I honestly don't really mind just being friends with hot girls. I happen to be friends with a few already, I guess. It's cool and I would probably feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment if they did come onto me to say the truth. I'm still developing as a person while I go and getting proper encouragement from these hot girls so it helps a lot that they are my friends. I'm actually really indifferent about the thought of getting into a relationship with them.
I honestly don't really mind just being friends with hot girls. I happen to be friends with a few already, I guess. It's cool and I would probably feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment if they did come onto me to say the truth. I'm still developing as a person while I go and getting proper encouragement from these hot girls so it helps a lot that they are my friends. I'm actually really indifferent about the thought of getting into a relationship with them.
Planning Forward
I think I'm totally onto the whole trend line thing for trading any stock chart properly, along with using candlestick patterns for confirmation of a trend or support or resistance area to look out for. This method has been really sticking out for me. It's really adapting to any type of market situation. I guess I'm seriously going after the whole long term deal and not really looking at the charts so I'm setting up an acceptable profit level to go with my stop out.
This is starting to become a pretty fun thing to do for me and don't mind turning it into like a mindless routine with a whole bunch of complicated analysis to go with it in a few minutes each day. I'll be happy with making an income of just a million dollars a year. Yeah, people are like "Just?" How is that even imaginable while working underneath for someone?
I'm going for something that I'm sure everybody wants. It's making a good load of money while not having to really do anything. It's just the setting up part that is hard and can hurt sometimes. I guess if one truly goes after something he or she craves in the imagination and longs for it while willing to work hard for it naturally, then it's just a matter of like connecting the dots!
This is starting to become a pretty fun thing to do for me and don't mind turning it into like a mindless routine with a whole bunch of complicated analysis to go with it in a few minutes each day. I'll be happy with making an income of just a million dollars a year. Yeah, people are like "Just?" How is that even imaginable while working underneath for someone?
I'm going for something that I'm sure everybody wants. It's making a good load of money while not having to really do anything. It's just the setting up part that is hard and can hurt sometimes. I guess if one truly goes after something he or she craves in the imagination and longs for it while willing to work hard for it naturally, then it's just a matter of like connecting the dots!
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Formulating Plans
Basically, my big three really has been working out, trying to study the Bible ultra fast everyday, and working on making profitable trades in a financial market. From looking at other opportunities out there, I'm not really interested in working under somebody with a normal 8 to 4:30 shift. I want to basically do my thing and I think I have the chance from being a programmer. I think the main reason I work under somebody right now is so I can save up and pay some bills and work at my craft of practicing to become a better investor that I have in mind of becoming. One of my pitfalls that I see as a blessing sometimes could also be a curse, so I don't know why I labeled it as a pitfall- I'm confused. Anyway, online poker has been something I have dabbled on for trying to earn a living while passing my time and working underneath anyone. Yet the only challenge that I seem to hate about poker is that it isn't easy to consistently make money while gambling with other great players. I have been finding myself in that predicament a lot with poker and it's like almost long hours too while sitting there and waiting for that big pot to arrive while conserving chips and taking small risks.
I guess overall because of the length of time that could be spent on it and walking away with nothing sometimes, I just don't like that feeling after having tried to play poker for years now and win at this game. On the flip side with doing stock investments, if I lose, at least I don't have to stare at the numbers crashing and if I'm going to fall then might as well go out big while partying with the millions I have left. Jokes aside, I think investing with a long term focus and not actively being at the charts like being that lame poker player I was at a table for long periods of time would be a better trade off for me.
I'm convinced that playing online poker in general while having nothing to do will mean that I've done really something bad to my time management and needs fixing. Hey if I win at online poker and having a run then I'm coming back and pretending that my time management needs fixing. After losing though, I definitely need a new make over with my time management. That is pretty much my trend and it's funny but true. From realizing that effect, I guess it's only made possible because of my confidence without needing to fap and use porn.
I guess overall because of the length of time that could be spent on it and walking away with nothing sometimes, I just don't like that feeling after having tried to play poker for years now and win at this game. On the flip side with doing stock investments, if I lose, at least I don't have to stare at the numbers crashing and if I'm going to fall then might as well go out big while partying with the millions I have left. Jokes aside, I think investing with a long term focus and not actively being at the charts like being that lame poker player I was at a table for long periods of time would be a better trade off for me.
I'm convinced that playing online poker in general while having nothing to do will mean that I've done really something bad to my time management and needs fixing. Hey if I win at online poker and having a run then I'm coming back and pretending that my time management needs fixing. After losing though, I definitely need a new make over with my time management. That is pretty much my trend and it's funny but true. From realizing that effect, I guess it's only made possible because of my confidence without needing to fap and use porn.
Planning Accordingly
Well, with a cool and attractive girl, I'm hanging out with her by flying together to go on cool and romantic hikes. It's all for fun and she's a friend. She's definitely a "girl" friend who I'm not dating. She doesn't have a boyfriend either and is like very career minded so I got a whole bunch of chances if I still wanted it. I'm just thinking positive for laughs. The thing though is that her friends thought once I was her boyfriend when I popped up on her Snapchat. I was like "I'm cool and honored to be thought of that way."
She's cool and hot I guess, but I'm just in the mind for hanging with her. It's fun to do that with common interests. I don't really feel that sexual with her though even with me not being gay. Maybe I have tastes for a different type of woman. I don't know, it felt like she was thinking about coming on to me a little but I've said no before in the past a few times with other two hot girls. People are like "Why?" I'm just very picky and didn't realize I had some game back then.
She's cool and hot I guess, but I'm just in the mind for hanging with her. It's fun to do that with common interests. I don't really feel that sexual with her though even with me not being gay. Maybe I have tastes for a different type of woman. I don't know, it felt like she was thinking about coming on to me a little but I've said no before in the past a few times with other two hot girls. People are like "Why?" I'm just very picky and didn't realize I had some game back then.
Staying On Track
Well, one of the good things I've noticed for myself is that my scheduling is always subject to adjustments and I move accordingly with it. Listing the things that I was going to accomplish yesterday, I didn't really finish it all and had to leave some that I deemed were excessive while it was getting late. I might have to move a little quicker to finish my tasks then to get the things I'm looking for out of the way for the day. I listed giving myself free time in the end, but became carried away for about thirty minutes that felt like an hour collaborating with a cute girl that I'm working with. Yeah, she's cool and my traveling companion. We go places together and hang out and it's like people haven't asked us if we're together or anything. I have been asked by people with girls I'm hanging with and isn't that hot but she just happens to look good.
Maybe it's something in their faces that give people the message that we're dating or not. I guess but maybe those girls like me and I look good hanging with them so it probably makes sense for people to think we're dating. With the girls that people think are hot, those people don't really ask if we're together. It could be out of skepticism from thinking about how short I am. It's an interesting dynamic though in contrast to hanging with a girl who is less attractive naturally but just happens to have put on make up and try to put on some good clothes and she actually looks good in some sense.
Maybe it's something in their faces that give people the message that we're dating or not. I guess but maybe those girls like me and I look good hanging with them so it probably makes sense for people to think we're dating. With the girls that people think are hot, those people don't really ask if we're together. It could be out of skepticism from thinking about how short I am. It's an interesting dynamic though in contrast to hanging with a girl who is less attractive naturally but just happens to have put on make up and try to put on some good clothes and she actually looks good in some sense.
Humor With Imagination
I've been mad with people all this time because I've been trying to be nice approaching them and only for them to respond to me in a rude manner. It's funny now that I think of it and I'm laughing about it because I can use my imagination with how to deal with them realistically now in the future. What helps a whole bunch is that I've realized the situation isn't that serious and it escalated itself which is also funny now that I think of it.
I mean I'm mad about their rude behaviors and still get bothered by that to this day and it's something that I will also naturally have a hard time dealing with from others. Yet, the situation isn't that bad now, and I was just laughing to myself quietly how I could yell at them like a drill sergeant and influence a positive change with them.
I mean I'm mad about their rude behaviors and still get bothered by that to this day and it's something that I will also naturally have a hard time dealing with from others. Yet, the situation isn't that bad now, and I was just laughing to myself quietly how I could yell at them like a drill sergeant and influence a positive change with them.
Posting Something Gross
It looks like I'm making a natural effort now to stay away from masturbating to porn because it's all in my confidence with my sexual ability to pleasure my future spouse. It's really been just rooted in that all this time. I guess I was in a dreamy state because from avoiding masturbation and viewing stimulating material, I'm also naturally getting aroused and turned on by thinking about realistic situations with my close "girl" friends. After awhile, I'm like nah, there's a reason for me seeing her as a friend.
Anyway, that was natural I guess and it's funny to talk about on a blog so I don't mind the attention it brings for others who'll accept it as something normal for passing the time. I ended up practicing my technique while humping the bed though and that's pretty embarrassing to admit, but after that I was like, nah I'm not that in the mood for continuing. I didn't end up blowing my load after not having masturbated for weeks now. Yeah, it's just passing by easily for me. The longest I've gone without doing it has been 9 months.
From reading up on some health-related stuff, it looks like it's natural and healthy for the guy to experience hardening while sleeping. I even dreamed at least once that I was viewing porn and trying to keep myself from blowing my load. I succeeded by the way from doing my technique. I'm thinking one of these days I would be able to associate that good feeling without making it an accident if I wanted to. Again, nothing to truly boast about.
Anyway, that was natural I guess and it's funny to talk about on a blog so I don't mind the attention it brings for others who'll accept it as something normal for passing the time. I ended up practicing my technique while humping the bed though and that's pretty embarrassing to admit, but after that I was like, nah I'm not that in the mood for continuing. I didn't end up blowing my load after not having masturbated for weeks now. Yeah, it's just passing by easily for me. The longest I've gone without doing it has been 9 months.
From reading up on some health-related stuff, it looks like it's natural and healthy for the guy to experience hardening while sleeping. I even dreamed at least once that I was viewing porn and trying to keep myself from blowing my load. I succeeded by the way from doing my technique. I'm thinking one of these days I would be able to associate that good feeling without making it an accident if I wanted to. Again, nothing to truly boast about.
Considering Spending Time
Well, it looks like I had a lot of fun with my physical activities. I'm actually doing them by myself mainly and having tons of fun with it. It is technically working out while being around people and reserved about it. I'm also observing how people do things sometimes and trying to match them or outdo them while practicing by myself.
I don't really mind with basically not being good at the stuff I'm working at. It's healthy and fun and hopefully as an enthusiast, I'll make great use of it someday. If not, the attempts were worth it and it's better than nothing to me. It's also fun, so I don't really mind with looking like a loser and not that great. What I'm noticing for myself is that I'm reinforcing a behavior of practicing tons of repetition all by myself. I think putting that type of work into is really vital for success. I guess I'm working out while treating it as a hobby and I'm just reaping an active mind and staying energetic from it.
I don't really mind with basically not being good at the stuff I'm working at. It's healthy and fun and hopefully as an enthusiast, I'll make great use of it someday. If not, the attempts were worth it and it's better than nothing to me. It's also fun, so I don't really mind with looking like a loser and not that great. What I'm noticing for myself is that I'm reinforcing a behavior of practicing tons of repetition all by myself. I think putting that type of work into is really vital for success. I guess I'm working out while treating it as a hobby and I'm just reaping an active mind and staying energetic from it.
Managing Time
Seriously, I'm trying to make it happen now and put it all together without doing too much down time activities. A good thing that I have noticed is that right after working out and combining it with some Herbalife supplements, I'm gaining a lot of powerful energy and feeling really awake.
The key really is to burn calories from having fun and doing high intensity work outs. My protein intake is probably at its bare minimum right now because I'm favoring more cardio, but it looks like from trying to do muscle endurance workouts, I actually might need a bit more protein than I would from just focusing on muscle building to recover. It's actually a two edged sword because I can also take less from not doing heavy muscle building.
It really comes down to balance and knowing your body. I guess I'll just stick with somewhere in between and be happy with the trade off, so I'll just average the minimum and maximum recommended intake and try to reach there to keep it safe. I'm just a fitness enthusiast and not worried about competing with others to make a living. I have something else in mind for that.
The key really is to burn calories from having fun and doing high intensity work outs. My protein intake is probably at its bare minimum right now because I'm favoring more cardio, but it looks like from trying to do muscle endurance workouts, I actually might need a bit more protein than I would from just focusing on muscle building to recover. It's actually a two edged sword because I can also take less from not doing heavy muscle building.
It really comes down to balance and knowing your body. I guess I'll just stick with somewhere in between and be happy with the trade off, so I'll just average the minimum and maximum recommended intake and try to reach there to keep it safe. I'm just a fitness enthusiast and not worried about competing with others to make a living. I have something else in mind for that.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Making Better Usage of Time
I'm getting cravings all the time like playing video games, viewing porn or trying to find a woman to marry and have sex with, work out, and do really cool stuff with friends. Right now, I'm just trying to make the most of it while commending Jesus as number one in my life.
I just have a lot of planning to accomplish and won't be easy but I hope it does me good in the end.
I just have a lot of planning to accomplish and won't be easy but I hope it does me good in the end.
Trading Success
I've found out that using trend lines and candlestick patterns are assisting me tremendously with reading the market charts. I was able to target where I wanted to get out the market to set an acceptable risk to reward ratio.
I guess I'm just going to continuously keep on reviewing those two topics. It's a lot of reading and totals over 500 pages with many hours of video instructions. That's the only way I see myself getting better by just repeating myself with reviewing the material daily and practicing it.
With the Bible though, it's obviously a lot of pages so I think I can only afford to read a few chapters and try to study it daily. I'm using Dr. Vernon McGee's commentary of the Bible which reads more like a sermon on the verses. It really preaches a lot about stuff that's going on in this world and I really can sense the Holy Spirit was moving when they were written. Overall, it really does influence me and I don't really worry about it. I'm also open to looking at other reigning views or theories because obviously, God hasn't revealed everything to us in the Bible. It just doesn't get that easy, but still to get the blessing of the Word and live it out is amazing. I don't know how to explain it because I'm not really called to be a pastor, but just a hardworking layman.
I guess I'm just going to continuously keep on reviewing those two topics. It's a lot of reading and totals over 500 pages with many hours of video instructions. That's the only way I see myself getting better by just repeating myself with reviewing the material daily and practicing it.
With the Bible though, it's obviously a lot of pages so I think I can only afford to read a few chapters and try to study it daily. I'm using Dr. Vernon McGee's commentary of the Bible which reads more like a sermon on the verses. It really preaches a lot about stuff that's going on in this world and I really can sense the Holy Spirit was moving when they were written. Overall, it really does influence me and I don't really worry about it. I'm also open to looking at other reigning views or theories because obviously, God hasn't revealed everything to us in the Bible. It just doesn't get that easy, but still to get the blessing of the Word and live it out is amazing. I don't know how to explain it because I'm not really called to be a pastor, but just a hardworking layman.
Friday, August 11, 2017
Message for Betty
***
Out of all the girls who I felt fed up with in the past, with Betty I decidedly chose not to give her an ugly nickname. You know the show Ugly Betty ? Well, it seems like not fair for me to associate with that and get people laughing at me anyway.
What Betty did normally gets me mad if others did the same thing. It took awhile to register everything and finally see it at a (mature) level. I can only hope, but yeah, I feel happy and not insanely mad from sending this message. It makes sense because from the start I'm trying to prove how Betty has mental problems!
***
Hey it's been like 10 years and I realize you have mental problems because you were being selfish about the whole thing. It's not a big deal and you were trying to force me to stay away from you. You didn't influence any major change or make my life better so I don't care what you stood for. It seriously looks bad on you though, but it doesn't matter.
I [name withheld] have the gift of mercy. My soul groans from the Holy Spirit to get along with you, but I have an oath to fulfill with God first before I attempt in person to reconcile again. I've been polishing my craft of writing and this is one way of revealing the true heart.
I've been reading my past messages and they aren't that bad. It really does show a lot of my confidence and while trying to make you out as a dope though lol. A black girl with AT-ti-TuDDDeee shouldn't be any different to you, but a guy trying to mask his anger with control was scary to you. It makes sense because the guy is a guy and that dude was me.
The stuff you do normally makes people like me mad and still does to this day, but I love getting along and that's more important to me. Besides, you didn't get much accomplished to help me so I don't care. It wasn't anything personal you did to me, but you are making it personal to yourself with me. It's not serious and you are being selfish about it which shows you got mental problems. I'm only saying because I don't really care and will still be friends with you and want to work at a relationship with you. A restraining order isn't even serious to me and Lee lost her case in the end, so she looks bad without having solved anything. I don't know why you would want to resort to that like she did but anything is possible and I'm prepared to address some modifications from turning more extroverted. I'm an ambivert. Was 70% introvert but switched it up to 70% extrovert from being bored and shy about addressing unimportant topics like these with people in general.
Hopefully that convinces you to not act up with mental problems in a naturally emotional state. It's like using words to conduct an orchestra of emotions. It's fun to win and get personal agenda across. Naturally you do have mental problems from being selfish by saying you want me to stay away from you. The situation isn't that serious if you look at it. It only makes you look horrible and I'm aware of that. It wasn't personal with me that you made and you are saying to stay away. What more bad than that can it be for you and also not that important? I have gift of mercy and I don't really care that you didn't get much accomplished and have mental problems. I want to be your friend and that's pretty darn cool to me for appeasing my soul from the Holy Spirit causing it to groan so much.
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Letting Go of Wasting Time
I'm figuring now that playing video games isn't really doing much for me anymore. No durr nor duhh, really? Playing games hasn't really done much for me except give my butt a reason to find some cushion for long hours and sitting on it! After that, my undisciplined mind sometimes wanted to finish off to some porno.
After beating my quest to win at porno, I have this confidence of a champion that when I'm feeling it for that sexual urge and fantasy, I'd rather go find a loving wife to do it with! If I ever find a loving wife in the future she's definitely going to be hot before I marry her at least. I don't know about after, but yeah, at least I will have tried to marry her while she looked hot to me.
So with that itching feeling of porno, I'm like ehh just like I told my manic depression symptoms and now they just like sit in the sidelines until I do something more stimulating like making money while I'm feeling bored! I'm a professional IT personnel and happy to be bonafide with it.
After beating my quest to win at porno, I have this confidence of a champion that when I'm feeling it for that sexual urge and fantasy, I'd rather go find a loving wife to do it with! If I ever find a loving wife in the future she's definitely going to be hot before I marry her at least. I don't know about after, but yeah, at least I will have tried to marry her while she looked hot to me.
So with that itching feeling of porno, I'm like ehh just like I told my manic depression symptoms and now they just like sit in the sidelines until I do something more stimulating like making money while I'm feeling bored! I'm a professional IT personnel and happy to be bonafide with it.
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Optimizing Time Management
Basically, it's to not smoke weed all day and drink beer while wasting away precious money. Yes, I don't do those things. I don't think I've ever been awake enough to feel drunk. I just pass out while feeling really mellow.
I'm not someone who thinks drinking and feeling buzzed is so cool. I already feel that way because like I said, I might have or not have had bipolar disease. I definitely felt a whole lot of euphoria and major depression to the point of suicide from hearing voices in my head that said I was gay in the tenth grade! I had so much hormones going on for me and feeling so much pressure with trying to get into a great college and have fun playing video games without knowing what the heck I was doing!
I think at one point I tried suffocating myself hoping that would make the voices saying I was gay drown! It didn't work, but I took some miracle pills and it worked! I even forgot I had something like schizophrenia. It was probably a mixture of bipolar in it too. I mean I feel sad to recall that event for me and to talk about it. It does make people want to laugh though and yeah, it was a long time ago where those days felt too serious with everything just so elevated in a stressful playing field for me.
I'm just glad I got through it and it was like at it's initial and retarded stages for me, and the fact that I identified it and asked for help early and got it taken cared of, I feel so fortunate to not have to face that predicament anymore. It's really sad because one of my cool friends actually has schizophrenia and I can relate so much, but what sucks is that the cool person didn't report it early on and left it hanging thinking it was from a ghost or something. The person's voices inside the mind are like on their advanced stages, which proves the person is very bright to me but just distracted because of those debilitating voices. Comparatively, I remember how my own voices felt like I was listening to something real and was like someone shouting at me from a distance. It was like an echo and when I would turn, no one was there and I'd be like what the heck and this is so wrong and scary and that I'm sad for feeling this circumstance.
The great story I have is that I turned to prayer and on one of those crazy nights, I heard a vivid and assuring whisper, and it said that everything was going to be alright and then all the voices just backed down before firing back up again! I prayed for God to tell me everything was going to be alright and I got my answer. Even my mom read the Bible which was weird from feeling some sort of spiritual energy again and she said she stayed up all night to read it once and was going through it a second time. I was like "What?"
Well, after being fully healed of hearing those voices and completely forgetting about it to become a major butthead in my own way with my sister and a few weird friends, I turned to witnessing for Jesus. I didn't know what I was doing and it wasn't in my comfort zone, but I'm glad I put in the time to go after it. The fire has died down a lot for me, but I still believe in the Lord very heavily and try to study the Word and pray about my ordeals.
Basically prayer should be thanking God first in worship and then praying for someone and then thinking about how to be humble for myself in relation to this person being a jerk to me!
I'm not someone who thinks drinking and feeling buzzed is so cool. I already feel that way because like I said, I might have or not have had bipolar disease. I definitely felt a whole lot of euphoria and major depression to the point of suicide from hearing voices in my head that said I was gay in the tenth grade! I had so much hormones going on for me and feeling so much pressure with trying to get into a great college and have fun playing video games without knowing what the heck I was doing!
I think at one point I tried suffocating myself hoping that would make the voices saying I was gay drown! It didn't work, but I took some miracle pills and it worked! I even forgot I had something like schizophrenia. It was probably a mixture of bipolar in it too. I mean I feel sad to recall that event for me and to talk about it. It does make people want to laugh though and yeah, it was a long time ago where those days felt too serious with everything just so elevated in a stressful playing field for me.
I'm just glad I got through it and it was like at it's initial and retarded stages for me, and the fact that I identified it and asked for help early and got it taken cared of, I feel so fortunate to not have to face that predicament anymore. It's really sad because one of my cool friends actually has schizophrenia and I can relate so much, but what sucks is that the cool person didn't report it early on and left it hanging thinking it was from a ghost or something. The person's voices inside the mind are like on their advanced stages, which proves the person is very bright to me but just distracted because of those debilitating voices. Comparatively, I remember how my own voices felt like I was listening to something real and was like someone shouting at me from a distance. It was like an echo and when I would turn, no one was there and I'd be like what the heck and this is so wrong and scary and that I'm sad for feeling this circumstance.
The great story I have is that I turned to prayer and on one of those crazy nights, I heard a vivid and assuring whisper, and it said that everything was going to be alright and then all the voices just backed down before firing back up again! I prayed for God to tell me everything was going to be alright and I got my answer. Even my mom read the Bible which was weird from feeling some sort of spiritual energy again and she said she stayed up all night to read it once and was going through it a second time. I was like "What?"
Well, after being fully healed of hearing those voices and completely forgetting about it to become a major butthead in my own way with my sister and a few weird friends, I turned to witnessing for Jesus. I didn't know what I was doing and it wasn't in my comfort zone, but I'm glad I put in the time to go after it. The fire has died down a lot for me, but I still believe in the Lord very heavily and try to study the Word and pray about my ordeals.
Basically prayer should be thanking God first in worship and then praying for someone and then thinking about how to be humble for myself in relation to this person being a jerk to me!
Making Best Out Of My Time
I guess currently I'm realizing that after generating traffic somehow from last week on this blog, now I've got nothing but pretty boring stuff to say to not really hold anybody's attention. There's really no value in it for them, but for myself mainly incidentally. I guess that's just how it's going to be.
The fact that I'm just writing- well, I'm realizing that people have mental problems because well people like to be selfish in general. That's all there is to it. I mean I was probably misdiagnosed with bipolar disease or maybe I had it. I think it was a mix with schizophrenia. Yeah, I heard voices that accused me of being gay. I thought it was like the end of the world for me and became super depressed. I got rid of those voices in my head in about three months and became on fire after that not too long after.
With my relationships with people who made me mad because I would normally get angry about the stuff they did to me, it took awhile to get over it without resorting to therapy. I felt like if I was to go to see a therapist, I would have tried to punch his lights out after hearing some recommendations. Anyway, it only took about ten years to finally feel that green light and lift it out of my system while laughing about the whole incident.
I'm still angry but at least I understand those people who made me mad over stuff I get mad about in general a lot better. It was personal with what they did to me, but for me onto them it wasn't that personal to be angry about. They even said they weren't angry and lying about it with me. They were just being selfish and because of it, they have mental problems over this incident and other stuff that's too annoying for them to deal with and block out of their heads.
If this is what makes me reasonably mad and I'm still willing to make peace with them and explain the situation in a wise manner now while generally laughing and communicating with them nothing but the truth while being comfortable with them, yeah, with this long sentence- yeah, it's a definite heck yeah that I know what I'm doing now and don't have to listen to a paranoid buddy about it anymore.
The fact that I'm just writing- well, I'm realizing that people have mental problems because well people like to be selfish in general. That's all there is to it. I mean I was probably misdiagnosed with bipolar disease or maybe I had it. I think it was a mix with schizophrenia. Yeah, I heard voices that accused me of being gay. I thought it was like the end of the world for me and became super depressed. I got rid of those voices in my head in about three months and became on fire after that not too long after.
With my relationships with people who made me mad because I would normally get angry about the stuff they did to me, it took awhile to get over it without resorting to therapy. I felt like if I was to go to see a therapist, I would have tried to punch his lights out after hearing some recommendations. Anyway, it only took about ten years to finally feel that green light and lift it out of my system while laughing about the whole incident.
I'm still angry but at least I understand those people who made me mad over stuff I get mad about in general a lot better. It was personal with what they did to me, but for me onto them it wasn't that personal to be angry about. They even said they weren't angry and lying about it with me. They were just being selfish and because of it, they have mental problems over this incident and other stuff that's too annoying for them to deal with and block out of their heads.
If this is what makes me reasonably mad and I'm still willing to make peace with them and explain the situation in a wise manner now while generally laughing and communicating with them nothing but the truth while being comfortable with them, yeah, with this long sentence- yeah, it's a definite heck yeah that I know what I'm doing now and don't have to listen to a paranoid buddy about it anymore.
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Moving Forward
I ended up buying some waterless car cleaning wax and took me only about 30 minutes to complete. The car does look shinier than before and I'm happy with the look. It's not perfect because I was trying to run through it fast, but the amount of effort I put into it isn't so fast.
I'm practically using a spray bottle so yeah it does include water to clean the car. I don't put that much of the solution in and I've had it for weeks so it lasts quite awhile. The second thing I'm doing is applying wax. After polishing the car with those two things, I'm rinsing it off with a dry towel and that's how my finish looks.
It's pretty cool actually. I guess I need to just move forward then and that's what it's about for me. Trading wise, yeah it's what I would love to make a living off of and something I see myself doing as a business. It's just playing a game to win money off of other people, mainly anybody participating in the game. Because of major players being banks and other large brokers, I guess I feel no shame in taking some of their money. I can turn that into a business and don't mind at all. I'm not sharing too much with what I know though because I don't want anybody to get into it.
With the free time it can afford and my style of preferring not to put that much effort into it, if it makes me pretty good dividends then I'll be happy with that. Making millions trading and doing stocks and different types of chart trading. I can make a living off of doing that and not spending that much time on it. I would love to do that.
I'm also grateful to have a decent skill with programming too. I guess I'm thankful to the Lord for where I've come and hopefully I'll be reaching financial freedom if not a millionaire in the near future. I'd like to contribute to God's kingdom as a giver and one who discerns principles. I don't have a calling to be a pastor or elder. I have way too much loose thinking with drinking alcohol which I don't believe in, but I can drink it socially so I don't want to throw people off because of that. I don't really mind hookah occasionally either because it isn't addictive, but still people can get wrong ideas. I also don't mind being friends who swear and do crazy stuff, which I don't believe in doing so that can also throw people off. On and on and on, I'm happy to be serving the Lord with loose accountability and in the closest. I prefer blending in and being like a spy in this world. If push comes to shove, I'll gladly give my life though if anyone says being a Christian requires the death penalty. I'm grateful for what Jesus has done for my heart. He's really changing me and inspiring me to be better!
I'm practically using a spray bottle so yeah it does include water to clean the car. I don't put that much of the solution in and I've had it for weeks so it lasts quite awhile. The second thing I'm doing is applying wax. After polishing the car with those two things, I'm rinsing it off with a dry towel and that's how my finish looks.
It's pretty cool actually. I guess I need to just move forward then and that's what it's about for me. Trading wise, yeah it's what I would love to make a living off of and something I see myself doing as a business. It's just playing a game to win money off of other people, mainly anybody participating in the game. Because of major players being banks and other large brokers, I guess I feel no shame in taking some of their money. I can turn that into a business and don't mind at all. I'm not sharing too much with what I know though because I don't want anybody to get into it.
With the free time it can afford and my style of preferring not to put that much effort into it, if it makes me pretty good dividends then I'll be happy with that. Making millions trading and doing stocks and different types of chart trading. I can make a living off of doing that and not spending that much time on it. I would love to do that.
I'm also grateful to have a decent skill with programming too. I guess I'm thankful to the Lord for where I've come and hopefully I'll be reaching financial freedom if not a millionaire in the near future. I'd like to contribute to God's kingdom as a giver and one who discerns principles. I don't have a calling to be a pastor or elder. I have way too much loose thinking with drinking alcohol which I don't believe in, but I can drink it socially so I don't want to throw people off because of that. I don't really mind hookah occasionally either because it isn't addictive, but still people can get wrong ideas. I also don't mind being friends who swear and do crazy stuff, which I don't believe in doing so that can also throw people off. On and on and on, I'm happy to be serving the Lord with loose accountability and in the closest. I prefer blending in and being like a spy in this world. If push comes to shove, I'll gladly give my life though if anyone says being a Christian requires the death penalty. I'm grateful for what Jesus has done for my heart. He's really changing me and inspiring me to be better!
Saturday, August 5, 2017
Determining My Headed Path
I think the secret to all my success with relationships is to just place Jesus first. Thanks to the Holy Spirit, I am groaning with the Lord a lot and possess a forgiving characteristics with people who acted dumb with me like Lee. People who made mad in other words; I can still forgive them for their annoying behavior and try to be friends with them.
It broke my heart and at the same time made me super mad to get a restraining order. I mean I'm laughing about it now. I got it from Lee and I've been sending her messages. No, the cops haven't come over and yes, she's received those messages from me. It's confirmed by her blocking me on her Facebook page. It's funny to me now, but I was so aggravated by that. It's just that Lee didn't get much accomplished from doing that and she couldn't get me arrested. I even made her scream by attending one of her services and making a scene. It was so hard to do man. I was sweating bullets, but glad I got that out of the way. One of the great things is that I didn't do anything after getting a restraining order and it just fell out. It's really simple. If someone puts a restraining order on you, then don't do anything and the person will look stupid if you bring it up later after it's gone and want to make him or her look bad.
I figure with my anger issues of getting along with everybody, I'm not a killer but an angry lover. I might as well just express the truth and get it out there. I don't really care what Lee did. It wasn't that serious, but she looks bad and I don't care about that either. I just want to be friends because it feels good for me and I believe it's part of my groaning spirit from believing upon the Holy Spirit to keep attempting to reconcile with her. If she puts another restraining order on me after failing to extend the first one, then I don't care because she isn't solving anything anyways by principle. I might as well have fun making fun of her and bring up all the offensive reasons why I wouldn't want to stalk her in general to entertain the audience and also talk about how she's stupid to the judge.
It broke my heart and at the same time made me super mad to get a restraining order. I mean I'm laughing about it now. I got it from Lee and I've been sending her messages. No, the cops haven't come over and yes, she's received those messages from me. It's confirmed by her blocking me on her Facebook page. It's funny to me now, but I was so aggravated by that. It's just that Lee didn't get much accomplished from doing that and she couldn't get me arrested. I even made her scream by attending one of her services and making a scene. It was so hard to do man. I was sweating bullets, but glad I got that out of the way. One of the great things is that I didn't do anything after getting a restraining order and it just fell out. It's really simple. If someone puts a restraining order on you, then don't do anything and the person will look stupid if you bring it up later after it's gone and want to make him or her look bad.
I figure with my anger issues of getting along with everybody, I'm not a killer but an angry lover. I might as well just express the truth and get it out there. I don't really care what Lee did. It wasn't that serious, but she looks bad and I don't care about that either. I just want to be friends because it feels good for me and I believe it's part of my groaning spirit from believing upon the Holy Spirit to keep attempting to reconcile with her. If she puts another restraining order on me after failing to extend the first one, then I don't care because she isn't solving anything anyways by principle. I might as well have fun making fun of her and bring up all the offensive reasons why I wouldn't want to stalk her in general to entertain the audience and also talk about how she's stupid to the judge.
Making Money In Forex Trading
I've basically tested it out yesterday and it turned out that all my trades were positive and half of them went back against me and made me take a toss. The good thing is that the other trades that did well made twice as much profit so I'm still in the money.
I'm now figuring my methods to mainly just be two things for the reading the market. It's using candlesticks to confirm support and resistance and calculate the risk to reward ratio. The second thing is using trend lines to determine where everything is headed. That's pretty much it for me which is cool!
Thursday, August 3, 2017
Understanding Time Management
Well my bowling did really well yesterday for being an amateur. I was able to bowl 175 which isn't that bad for someone whose tossing just a 12 pound ball at 18 miles an hour! Yes seriously, I have bowled to 18.81 miles an hour as well on occasion too. It's fun to try to pop the pins. Also, I'm only 5'3" so I guess being short doesn't really have to do with not being able to bowl fast. I think I proved that to others who just look at me sometimes and smile and when they see me making strikes and my expressionless behavior.
I also do like a dance too sometimes while moving up the bowling lane. People really start smiling when they see me do that. It's all fun and games after all and yeah, it's cool dude!
Okay, so now I have to figure out how to make money in the most efficient manner and work hard for it. What I'm seeing that makes sense is basically using the Internet to conveniently try to market something for free and attract people to it and then from those high numbers, get some sponsors to try to make money off of them as well for a fee of course.
I diligently tried to play poker and I had a nice small run but yesterday I fell into a rut playing against good poker players. It's pretty hard to make money off those situations. There's nothing I can do about it but all I can say is that I played it well and walk away with nothing. It's a fact of life with contingency and everyone faces this drawback, including Jesus! It's just that Jesus knew what he was doing and he was in control which completely fooled the devil as the Bible reveals.
Regardless of having lost only four bucks with the potential to earn $8 in less than an hour's worth of play action with good cards and luck, poker is still a fun game playing against players who are pathetic at calculating odds. I mean I had the upper hand most of the way and yeah, sure, people will think otherwise; yet, it drained some of my time. Poker is like playing MTG in a way but using money as a means of winning. I was flirting with the possibility of turning poker into a career with my other entreaties, but with excellent players competing for cash also it really holds constraint on my most valuable commodity at the moment- personal time.
I also do like a dance too sometimes while moving up the bowling lane. People really start smiling when they see me do that. It's all fun and games after all and yeah, it's cool dude!
Okay, so now I have to figure out how to make money in the most efficient manner and work hard for it. What I'm seeing that makes sense is basically using the Internet to conveniently try to market something for free and attract people to it and then from those high numbers, get some sponsors to try to make money off of them as well for a fee of course.
I diligently tried to play poker and I had a nice small run but yesterday I fell into a rut playing against good poker players. It's pretty hard to make money off those situations. There's nothing I can do about it but all I can say is that I played it well and walk away with nothing. It's a fact of life with contingency and everyone faces this drawback, including Jesus! It's just that Jesus knew what he was doing and he was in control which completely fooled the devil as the Bible reveals.
Regardless of having lost only four bucks with the potential to earn $8 in less than an hour's worth of play action with good cards and luck, poker is still a fun game playing against players who are pathetic at calculating odds. I mean I had the upper hand most of the way and yeah, sure, people will think otherwise; yet, it drained some of my time. Poker is like playing MTG in a way but using money as a means of winning. I was flirting with the possibility of turning poker into a career with my other entreaties, but with excellent players competing for cash also it really holds constraint on my most valuable commodity at the moment- personal time.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Have To Watch Out For
Okay, I'm comfortable with acting cold towards a hot girl lately. By her appearance alone, I'm like stating I'm interested in dating her practically on a website. This doesn't seem to have any appeal at all for those girls who are probably used to it from others guys. I'm just not really sure though and it doesn't really matter that much, but I'm just not hoping to land a girl who is slightly overweight. It just seems to me that she has some personal issues with it or wants to ignore it completely. I don't really dig that type of personality. I'm someone who wants to go work out at a gym daily and take protein shakes to grow muscles and improve on cardio as well.
I still get perverted feelings every once in awhile with wanting to peek at hot bodies. It's an urge where I end up just searching on google for published nude photos of models or celebrities. Some of them look really good to me. It can be arousing, but now I don't really see the point for edging because I'm confident with my ability to hold it long as I want with a logical technique I practiced to obtain. This isn't something to boast about for me. With my relationships, I don't really have any sexual intentions with the girls I'm hanging out with. One of them is really cute and the other used to be hot when she was more slender. I didn't think she looked that way in the past, but still she has some really good selfies of herself and they are pretty. I mean I'm tempted just a bit every once in awhile, but it's not that serious to me. Just an imagination to get carried away with sometimes, but not give into because I am totally for sex in marriage.
Just from having been stupid and developed something male porn stars can do, I gained confidence to not need to edge to porn anymore. I still have those sexual drives of wanting a loving wife with strong sexual urges too sometimes. This one girl I'm developing interesting feelings for is sweet and resourceful. She's also a cool friend who likes to bust out laughing with me, so I find that fun about her. I just don't know really at this point what I'm looking at, but hanging with her is fun so that much I know so far.
I still get perverted feelings every once in awhile with wanting to peek at hot bodies. It's an urge where I end up just searching on google for published nude photos of models or celebrities. Some of them look really good to me. It can be arousing, but now I don't really see the point for edging because I'm confident with my ability to hold it long as I want with a logical technique I practiced to obtain. This isn't something to boast about for me. With my relationships, I don't really have any sexual intentions with the girls I'm hanging out with. One of them is really cute and the other used to be hot when she was more slender. I didn't think she looked that way in the past, but still she has some really good selfies of herself and they are pretty. I mean I'm tempted just a bit every once in awhile, but it's not that serious to me. Just an imagination to get carried away with sometimes, but not give into because I am totally for sex in marriage.
Just from having been stupid and developed something male porn stars can do, I gained confidence to not need to edge to porn anymore. I still have those sexual drives of wanting a loving wife with strong sexual urges too sometimes. This one girl I'm developing interesting feelings for is sweet and resourceful. She's also a cool friend who likes to bust out laughing with me, so I find that fun about her. I just don't know really at this point what I'm looking at, but hanging with her is fun so that much I know so far.
Tuesday, August 1, 2017
Just Simple Planning
I guess it's difficult enough to try to find the proper routine for me without having emotions or other distractions get in the way of things. I think I just have triggers that set into place out of habit. I just would really like to make the most out of things. I'm definitely not some guy who attracts attention all the time. I'm basically someone who gets overlooked a lot in the popularity contest. I'm not someone who is really that into it. Maybe that's what friends around me feel.
I guess I'm someone who doesn't really stand out despite all the hard work I put in. I'm not looking to be a pleasing person to everybody, so I guess it only makes sense for there to be someone who I hardly know to not be interested in me as well. I think it's only normal to do that from not feeling connected or something.
I guess the views no matter how contradictory or frustrating they may be, it all comes down to arguing the points really well. I'm someone who likes to go after the winning view. It does provide a sense of relief for me, even though the situation isn't that bad. So I guess after all, even though my friend count may be small in number, it's not really that bad to be hanging with girls who aren't that bad looking at least to me.
I guess I'm someone who doesn't really stand out despite all the hard work I put in. I'm not looking to be a pleasing person to everybody, so I guess it only makes sense for there to be someone who I hardly know to not be interested in me as well. I think it's only normal to do that from not feeling connected or something.
I guess the views no matter how contradictory or frustrating they may be, it all comes down to arguing the points really well. I'm someone who likes to go after the winning view. It does provide a sense of relief for me, even though the situation isn't that bad. So I guess after all, even though my friend count may be small in number, it's not really that bad to be hanging with girls who aren't that bad looking at least to me.
Oops
Well I definitely forgot to finish off the month to average once a day. It's hard enough to get it, but okay I guess. I just get those moods every once in awhile. I'm really having some difficulty getting a happy routine going for me. Like yesterday, after having gone bowling, I ended up eating dinner and spent my evening watching the video game Silent Hill 2 play through. I felt it was like important to me.
Well now that's over, I'm trying to create my own personal schedule to manage my time. Hopefully I get it soon.
Well now that's over, I'm trying to create my own personal schedule to manage my time. Hopefully I get it soon.
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