Currently, I'm feeling this sort of restlessness underneath me and it's preventing me from doing what I want to do. I think I just need to keep reminding myself daily with how I want to conduct myself. It feels like if I dwell too much on the past then it isn't going to be much good because there's also today and tomorrow to worry about. If I'm focusing on the past today and tomorrow, then I'm not going anywhere that I want to go. This is like the preferred lifestyle for the homeless out there who constantly show negativity and can also be comical with how they express themselves around others. They do seem to get angry when you hold a phone up sometimes around them or get too close. It's pretty weird like they don't want you to call authority to kick them out of their space they were getting comfortable with. Interestingly enough, these homeless people who have acted angry with me keep their distance from me still though.
I don't want to end up on the streets, so I would rather keep on working at a decent job even if the pay and hours suck. As long as I have a roof over my head and some food to eat, I can survive for long as I can. However, I really do enjoy programming so being a developer is fun and it's like I won't be hired by anyone so I have to go out there and get it by my own effort while hoping to stay lucky. Okay, I just need to deal with those restless feelings because it looks like whether I like my job or not, I'm still going to have them bugging me, so might as well pick something I know I end up liking after my day of work is over.
