Reflecting on how I let myself get carried away with watching YouTube videos to entertain myself and also read up on user comments without reacting much to them for fun, I don't think I really need to put my precious time into those things so much anymore. I guess I'm a pretty practical person and just easily swayed away from putting in hard work. It feels uncomfortable to me often, so it can be sometimes difficult to keep my priorities straight as I would like them to be.
I want to put in the work even when I'm feeling empty inside and down and out. The only thing that I have to bring to the table now is a renewed sense of personal confidence with willingness to work hard for it! I should have kept on looking to do my trades. It's about time that I let go of playing Poker now because it's just going to be about doing fun grinding sessions while feeling sheepish with the bad result, no matter how well I put up a good fight. I don't think I get lucky enough to turn myself into a consistent Poker pro. This is exactly how I felt with playing video games in the past to those I was addicted to. It's just that it was in the name of only fun, but not getting anything back out of it except feeling good for a little bit. I think it's a little foolish now because I really do want to live my life as a rich man. I want to be a gentleman with getting there while being smart as possible, so I figure that grinding my way with boring and hard sessions of doing software engineering is the way for me to go. I'm also fascinated by it to be honest especially with studying how to make software become more efficient and looking more attractive to users by implementing some clever design. This will be how I make my living now in hopes of becoming rich, while also making myself a swing trader.
On top of trying to be a rich man now, I'm also looking to find a hot girl to marry but she has to be really nice, sexually attracted to me and into sex, and single too with no complications. It's going to be hard finding her, since she'll be wanted by a lot of guys so hopefully I'll get lucky someday from continuing to hold out this long. I also want to feel really good about my body too while waking up, so it would be nice actually to stay fit and get the coveted six pack. I just need to push myself to get there while staying confident about all of it and being focused on keeping this a routine.
