Breaking it down so far, it comes down to the big things, my faith, and then all the little things. My faith is always going to be there to stay while having its opportunity to grow more. I might be adding on more big things like maybe spending time with my dream girl if I'm lucky enough to be married to her and having lots of happy sex! I realize that saying these types of truths to get myself laughing is one of my most normal and happiest state of minds. I wish I could constantly stay in this state while being challenged by idiots! It will take a long deep breath and probably sneaking in some more without letting it be noticeable to them.
I have a lot of fun doing the small things more than still stressing out a little with making myself a programmer. I'm actually starting to feel a lot better about it. I just have to think to myself this same thought. I don't how I did it with my mind just now, but it felt so good with the thought of getting myself going to program just now. I'm not doing it because I'm finishing this post though. I really like finishing what I just started and doing it quickly if I can. Programming does take a lot of effort though and it could take me days and up to months to finish up on a significant task. Maybe this is my underlying stress inducer found in my conscious. I'm so glad that I wrote this to realize how good programming still feels for me.
Finishing up on the little things and ahh, it feels good, I see it as hanging out with friends, cooking, going to the gym, watching basketball games right now, playing the piano, and giving into some fun distractions. This reminds me how I should be mindful of a few little things like continuing to research and plan for an upcoming trip with my asexual partner. She's like a sister to me, but I still like her since I love doing fun things with her. Plus, she's a good person and now I understand where her anxieties are rooted in and I feel bad for her too. I really want to help her out by encouraging her to overcome that state of mind by being like a brother and close friend to her. I don't really care about the sexual frustrations I have with her since that's negative to continue thinking about. I'm not going to look too far ahead with visualizing the best outcomes.
