Personal Endeavor

From the last post, I see that from reviewing it there's a lot of meaning for me. What I'm really gaining from writing on here is this experience that I want to create from having a work ethic. I can fairly say that I'm now a young grown up whose confident of himself. Through this confidence, I am capable of handling situations that are uncomfortable for me and to be able to outlast it while still have strong diligence.

This is pretty much going to be my motto for this year that I will try to achieve to the best of my ability. Through the displeasure and discomforts that come from occasional confusion and chaos, I will endeavor to work hard under a strict pattern of patience without being a weird human being. LOL I mean it, too and it's quite fun for me to mention this today. What this means is that I will work hard even under stress of something else trying to bother me; I don't need to overreact like those weird people I mentioned about did. Special note: I'm leaving Betty Lam (Hope of God Church, L.A.) permanently out of my weird people category for good; this is out of personal reasons.

Through this confidence that I now have, I know what I want for myself in how I need to manage my life to be successful and satisfied. This whole sex issue for me is like a totally new frontier for me- haha. I see that conquering that moment of feeling out of control will help me gain a leverage in social conditions when people are just getting so out of hand now and leave me laughing so hard that I could be falling off my chair. I guess I'll admit that I might have a thing for Betty - basically, I do want to be her friend and I don't mind this business of hanging out with a cup of coffee if she'll ever be convinced I'm good enough to do that with her. I do care about her enough to never really put her in harm's way literally speaking- I also know how to interpret her sayings now in a right fashion that would make us complement each other nicely. If Betty personally reads this posting about herself, I believe that she won't ever issue a restraining order even if she acts aggravated with me over some things - haha.

Betty's also a little taller than me and Betty didn't seem to have too big of an issue over us hugging each other - haha. I still hope I can outgrow her by at least a little even though her physique is smaller than mine. She said she used to be overweight, and I'm in disbelief to how bad she actually looked. She took notice that I had lost a lot of weight- that weight pretty much gained back in a jiffy because my body is capable of dramatically shifting weight right now. I was losing and gaining ten pounds a week at one point in my college days.

We hung out and had a chance to get a little more intimate in my slightly weirder days- I can't believe I was capable of initiating dates even while feeling weird and actually doing it without me noticing it that hard. The moment of reading a book together with some elementary kids was fun- I was taller than all those school kids, and it felt pretty good haha. Yeah, wait until they grow up to be massively taller than me and I'll have to feel happy for them. I was attracted to Betty in a nice way sometimes but it didn't really seem to be that serious to me at the time- I think seriously being a part of her life would be very useful to me. It doesn't really have to involve that much hard work as I thought to do this thing with her. Overall, I guess what I'm feeling for her is a form of love. I'm glad to be of some service to people.