Things are going along okay today. I'm still struggling a bit economically, so I'm more fussed about it and possibly distracted from meeting any prospects for marrying. One of my friends is still pretty insecure about getting married and since he loves to get carried away with a lot of hypothetical thoughts, he isn't really going to be tying the knot anytime soon or going out with anyone. I believe that he's a special case and it isn't wrong for him to be the way he is in the area of forming relationships. I do see some rooms of improvement he could have by repenting, like probably holding back on cursing with his tongue haha, but I still accept him as a friend.
There are a lot of stuff that I could cover about the church I've been writing about even to the dismay of others who go there; for the most part, it's because I'm upset at some people for reflecting a poor image with me. Out of this, I'm highly motivated to not really need to hang around there which should invalidate any of their dumb accusations about me stalking them haha. I'm just talking to them and letting them know about everything I see negative with them while being honest about it so that I could learn to cope with their weirdness. Yeah, that's why I'm saying they should get some professional help if they can't handle this thing being repetitively upon them now, much to the chagrin of the therapist who would probably want to be entertained by hearing my side of the story more than theirs haha.
I see that I truly know how to control my rage or anger now and express it well enough to let it subside into a more pleasurable mood haha. I think communication is really vital to me too and that I'm not going to be too bothered by weird people now trying to make my plans backfire. One of the neat things for me is that I should just really act my part when I'm by myself and really stay focused enough even when I'm around some people. My appearance isn't really that great, even though I feel happy about having some pretty big body parts haha and yeah, I think those are pretty legit to feel sort of happy about- well, one of the things that make me feel a little sad is not really being that tall and sort of on the short side. I know that plenty of women are shorter than me, but I'm still probably about 2 inches shorter than the average tall woman =( so that's a bummer. I'm still trying to see if I could end up making myself taller and I'm doing something about it instead of letting this turn into a bothersome complex of mine.
Until I have it made, I pretty much need to be constantly working and so I'm really distracted being in student debt and don't really want to be the one to pay for my date right now when I could use that money to pay off my bills right now. I really need to play catch up somehow before I can be like all right, it's time to have some fun in getting married haha- that thought sounds scary to some guys. Maybe, if I don't ever get out of this debt, I do have an age limit with wanting to get married preferably, then I really have to think about staying single for the rest of my life. I honestly think the weird lady Lee who put a restraining order on me is already too old to get married haha.
Boy, I would say no to all her advances for life now with me. She was definitely not in the Spirit of the Lord when she did that whole crazy act in the court system haha and yeah, it's really ugly when considering how her heart was at the moment. I wonder if she takes after a little with her mother; it's interesting because her older sister and younger sister seem to be a lot more stable- maybe it's because Lee is the middle child- ah, the middle child complex haha. I feel like I don't really belong to any child order haha because it's just my little sister who sort of tries to reverse roles with me to my annoyance sometimes haha. She sort of has the younger child attitude and I guess I'm supposed to be cool with it, according to researchers. I like to really lead, and this shows up especially when I'm trying to deal with weird people.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
