Okay, I'm going to have to find a way to not get so carried away and then get pleasure for all the wrong reasons. I seriously believe that having a real commitment that's built on a foundation of love, faith, and hope will help me bail out when I'm not supposed to be engaging in some activity and I'm just too heavily tempted. Somehow, I need to link this commitment to my personal relationship with the Lord. If Christ is real and has really risen, then why do I live in a continual web of deceit and fall into sin. I'm seriously like a sucker for God's grace right now and the more I try to keep myself disciplined, I just can't do it based upon my own personal morals and standards. I need some inspiration from the Holy Spirit that is so great that it overwhelms me with love and confidence in the Father.
The Bible says that a person who returns back to his or her sinful ways is like a dog who comes back to eat its own vomit. Well, that's pretty nasty and foolish haha. I believe that the condition of my heart is saved thanks to desiring to trust in the Lord. However, I really need to stay on a path of repentance now in order to be able to keep up in purity and to gain satisfaction out of it. It's a real struggle everyday for me to repent; more and more, I'm finding myself trying and still having at least a small trace of it. I pretty much scramble in my daily affairs when I stumble into sin and feel very guilty about it afterward; sometimes, I don't. It shouldn't really be about what I'm thinking or feeling at the moment but what my objective is about in life. I really believe that having some help by committing to something physically will seriously help to relieve my situation. Maybe, I should really have a person I could be accountable too and really let out those vulnerable times with him, in addition to praying about it.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
