The mind is seriously a terrible thing to waste. There's no free lunch in life haha- knowledge is power, etc. I'm just trying to recall some good sayings that I remember briefly because I'm just trying to dedicate myself to write something today. I'm pretty much hooked on this whole blogging phenomenon, and I could be writing a whole lot of baloney which turns people off but what can I do? It seems like I have a productivity level where I just go off offending some people and then I just improve later for the better and to see their demise haha. Or, that's what it feels like.
Writing used to be extremely painful- nobody probably paid attention to this but I received a D in Honors English 10 for not being very good at writing essays and seriously not understanding what the heck was going on with imagery and symbolism in Shakespearean and Victorian language. Yes, it was really tough to get a lock in on it. Man, those courses still challenged me and probably contributed a little to my temporary manic depression haha. I think I was even more depressed with the outlook because I just bombed my science course with this whole domino effect after doing bad in an English course. I seriously didn't know what the heck was going on that time.
I know what it was now- it was because I was obsessed with something else during that time and I wasn't satisfied with not receiving it enough. I wanted to create games instead of getting bored with playing different games I started appreciating and getting addicted too haha. I was in a rebellion state which transpired into trying to be a cyber-criminal, and it's just minor with the stuff I did- I used to think accomplishing the smallest things on the computer meant like the world to me. I think I felt a little contempt with myself because I had so many differing interests because I really tried listening to other people's crazy advice. I was very volatile in that area of being heavily influenced by anybody for awhile. I'm pretty glad that drugs didn't get to me- neither did cigarettes or alcohol; I guess I really lived and faced everything about me the way it was. Coming out of these situations and realizing that I'm a grown-up now and happy to be where I'm at, is something that I sort of want to boast about but I give credit the most to God's grace.
Overall, the people who acted bad towards me is something that I feel that they know about or realize a little. They know who they are and just me believing it, is enough for me now instead of getting this weird idea to stalk them with signs of protest at their house and leaving so many torturing messages that don't talk about ending their life for getting sweet revenge haha. Talking to them in a cryptic and torturing way that wasn't even about ending their life is what I used to do even while I was being weird, so that's what probably made me anti-social because I would focus on those bad individuals all the time; nowadays, I see there are some really good people who wouldn't mind staying in contact with me and it's pretty comfortable so I see that as being really cool now. I know how to play it very cool and dangerous and most important, legally haha, while those bad individuals keep losing out now, and I'll be sure to try it out a little to draw more personal laughs now. Best of all, I'm staying honest about it which is even more great! Like the movie Liar Liar! where Jim Carrey became happy about spilling nothing but the truth haha. It's really crazy because what's going on the present could just turn around right away any day, so being able to keep at it is a very intelligent decision.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
