Getting What's Going On

I'm aiming for trying to make the reader think it would be cool if my proposals happened. Just attempting to become relatable in that fashion.

I try to be nice so I've been practicing chivalry when people bring up topics I don't want to be a part of. I'm not that good at it and been having trouble opening up to them, so I don't take it seriously when I go on my own rampage of talking about stuff they don't want to hear about. Especially things from the past that could be really embarrassing for them if it got out of hand.

I haven't been happy dealing with my own anger and emotional problems. I'm feeling angry while running it through my head and it can be distracting. I have to make an effort to block it out so I can be productive at my job. Even though it's uncomfortable, I think this is a good thing from my part.

I'm not going to let myself fret anymore over people giving me advice that goes against my vision. I might as well just ignore it or just pay attention a little better over the possible conflict that could arise and be straight forward about it with a person. My past is that I have two restraining orders from bothering people in the past.  I might as well let the person know this crazy side of me before the conflict gets out of hand.

I've been afraid to face my conflicts head-on. I would rather avoid so it's still unfinished business that I'm putting off to the side at the moment. One of these days, I'm going to go back to the church that has the woman who put a restraining order on me.

This time I'm going to say something like if you act too crazy with me in the next five seconds I'm never going to approach you again. You would be the reason that I'm not really friends with anyone
and very agitated to the point that I would make your life miserable. It's all because what you said never happened and you tried to extend the RO but couldn't.

If she doesn't act crazy with me, I'm calling her an idiot and that I'm placing a restraining order on her as well as she is a worthless person to me if she decides to put another one. I'm also not going to show up to the hearing and throw away the piece of paper and look forward to seeing her on her next hearing of trying to extend it. It would be me seeing her one too many times and she would be compromising because seeing me once more would be too many times already.

I'm going to finish up the dirty work that feels unresolved someday but I'll settle for never seeing her again if she just leaves that church when I do show up. I hope she's not there and moved on to another church.

From now on, I'm paying attention a little more with people I feel are being rude to me and informing them about how I bothered people to the point that I got a restraining order from them. I'm letting them know that I won't bother to show up to the hearing but I'm going to file one on them if they do. I put a restraining order on the first person and it went through. The second one I didn't on the girl because she's a girl and I'm a man. This time I'm ready to treat the matter equally this time but the only time I'm moving into action is if they put the restraining order on me first.

I may end up having like 10 more restraining orders from people who are not the best fit for me but I'm prepared to be stained with that image because those 10 people are getting a restraining order from me as well and it's only if they initiate it first with me. Everybody should have a first time with something.

Other than that I'm just kicking back and trying to be friends with everyone.