Man, I have a lot that I need to accomplish. Anyhow, I'm feeling depressed while I'm talking sometimes and planning stuff with people. Yet, it passes away. I think feelings are really unreliable to begin with and even though I may be suffering underneath, it's great to have something to look forward to anyway. It helps to work on yourself and to let those feelings that are rotting underneath to stabilize.
Okay, with my friend that I like I think I'm going to continue just being friends with her. I actually enjoy that friendship with her. It's nice having that feeling of validation and acknowledgement. That's all I'm really looking for from her. I don't really need to be dating her or anything to receive that type of high. I guess I'm good where it lies now. At first, my feelings were just messing with me and I thought I was falling in love with her or something, but all of that goes away eventually. It just comes down to being if the person is really right for you or not.
Overall, she's pretty good as a friend, and I acknowledge her. I'm still learning to be better with interacting with a girl at a personal level. I'm definitely not shy with attractive-looking women anymore. I guess it helps to work out with scantily clad women. I just don't see women in that way anymore with how they dress. I personally don't care. I'd rather focus on the bigger picture, which is love and finding the right person. I really like the idea of being friends with her. I think she's turning out to be very good for making me a better person and with that experience I'm going to try to find someone a little more hotter and compatible than her. She also needs to be a Christian in my book, as well, so I'll be lying in wait and maybe it will happen someday while I continue to work on myself.
A lot of good people are already taken and will be in the future. I'll just have to let timing play a role then and roll with the punches. I'd rather not give up and that's about it.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
