I think it's normal to deal with weird feelings that just make you want to lose yourself with doing meaningless and fun activities. For myself, I've been playing FreeCell and Hearts to try to calm myself down and play them efficiently. I care about winning and I guess that's where my competitive edge sort of takes place for me.
It's just a little thing that I grew up with. It used to be all about playing Sega Genesis back when I was a teen. I had this ritual of playing some old fighting games like Street Fighter 2 and Virtual Fighters in expert mode. I managed to beat them and was committed to doing so. I had this weird feeling that I was wasting time. I even felt empty at times because there were those moments when acquaintances brought their systems over and I just gushed over the fun video games my parents couldn't afford to buy me. I was under a lot of torment and trying to hide away my shyness from turning to video games.
Nowadays, I'm not so shy anymore. I'm okay with talking to people. I've been more mature about dealing with my short stature in height. I'm just 5' 3" individual and okay, I might fall under being just a tad short than bare minimum. It really shouldn't keep me from enjoying a good life if I can work hard for it.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
