I think I seriously need a genuinely good routine now. As hard as it is, it's really hard to let go of the past which includes stupid Lee. I know I might not be sounding so mature talking about her in that way. It's pretty much just logically speaking a moniker I invented.
These anger issues of mine were only exaggerated because I let them foster while I was in misery. I should have just talked straight forward and let myself just take the embarrassment for revealing my feelings with these people. I was just too afraid to speak up because I didn't want to be seen as a bad person. It just doesn't matter when people are mad. They are totally blind and will try to find a certain direction that could lead them into shame and regret later on.
I have so many fragmented thoughts from almost just entering almost dream world. With this creative world that my mind is inventing, I can actually recall quite a bit of them which is oddly interesting because I'm still awake while my whole-self is trying to sleep. I'm basically keeping my eyes while sleeping and trying to do that. By doing so, I can also perform some basic functions if I had to while sleeping. I'm not sure if this is even possible.
Well, I'll be working at it I suppose and do the best I can. To keep going at it.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
