Okay, I haven't typing anything on here for awhile. It looks like that I'm becoming so normal now that the cops aren't interested in chasing my tail now. That's just how I feel honestly. I was so paranoid in the beginning from stupid Lee being instigated for over something that wasn't really serious.
I guess it's not that serious now and I can tell that the church has been really struggling. Whether I decide to go back ever is still a mystery now. I haven't really entertained it now. One thing that is for certain though is that I just want to yell at them to let go of all the built up frustration I had with them. I just want to yell and scream out any comments that are just going through my mind while I'm just fuming.
I realize that I'm mad but I'm about trying to control it while being blunt at the same time. Just letting out anything that's just on my mind for some time and communicating what's on my mind. From being fully authentic and letting it out there, it's been beneficial for me in a way. It's like there's no other way for me. People do it also, but this is looking at it from my own perspective. I could just yell if people say something and I don't like it. People respond back in a quiet manner then if I do that. Okay, the arguments were never serious to begin with, and I'm thinking that I can't really be good friends with these church people so why am I wasting my time. I just want to get rid of my anger issues from just yelling at them. From doing that, I'm laughing at them so hard and from having done it once, I can just let it go and do something else. I need to test this theory of yelling at them to see if I really will laugh at them or even stay more mad at them than ever. I just don't know, and I don't even know if I'm going to go back on my words.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
