The mind is such a terrible thing to waste and with so few people out there who reach the top and are so good, they really do deserve recognition so they could inspire or entertain others. It really doesn't matter with the whole impressing others thing, which is what I was so selfish about achieving in the beginning. I think this whole selfishness with wanting to have a good relationship with everyone is really rooted on me having an abnormal level of desiring positive recognition from people. I still haven't got it and being so mad about it, I have to work even harder to get there and keep on pushing while suffering from not getting the desired level of achievement. It would be cool if everyone in this world liked this blog even, so this is my motivation to try really hard whenever I feel this selfish drive to reach this goal.
The goal I have in mind is also really scary for a few people I have been mad at and intentionally blocking out my words while trying to make fun of them and laughing at them. It's really annoying to be on my end of this passive aggressive attack, no matter what a person did. I guess that's why it is about pursuing and I just haven't had the time nor resources to reach everybody who I felt was affected by me negatively and to get them to change their hearts and minds and add me back on Facebook or even better, be willing to hang out with me. It's pretty much a work-in-progress and I accept that I will be making fun of those people and trying to get others to not take them seriously, if they try to make my life hard while responding very angry with me. If a person raises his or her voice to say stop talking about something, then it's because he or she is mad and bothered about it. For my case, it hasn't been something so serious for them to act that way so I know they have been just crazy about it. I don't care that they are crazy because the situation isn't even that serious that I don't need to see them as one of my valuable and serious friends while still being at peace with them and even befriending them again. I just think that some people around them will be selfish while not being able to handle it and not want to hang out with them from realizing their faults later on, but I'm different in that I don't see it too serious for me to even worry about them and will still be friendly with them.
They don't really have to fear me then because I know how to stay cool about it now and will work hard to always stay on top and be smarter than them while I'm hanging out with them.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
