One of the most debilitating combos for any individual is feeling really afraid of something and also angry at the same time. I had this happening to me when a stupid brat put a restraining order on me. He ended up letting me approach him while he was smiling at a bowling alley. Years pass by and I wanted to punch the heck out of that guy but I had to restrain myself. I wanted to smash into him while we were driving go-karts at a social event that he went along with an ex who was cool with me at the time. She felt touched when I said that I thought she looked good, and man, I didn't know she had those type of self-image issues. Anyways, I couldn't help it and wanted to release all of this tension by setting his porch on fire by leaving some dog poop so that he would have to clean it up with his hose. I didn't communicate right with his ex to get where he lives and she became really afraid of me and so that's my first girl who became super afraid of me. It would have been hard to pull it off, but with my motivation I would have with no witnesses!
I didn't know she was actually an attractive friend at the time, so oh well, it's my loss but she has mental learning issues so I was put off by that too. Next thing, crazy Lee who I want to call psycho-mom even though I know she isn't so let's not go any further. Crazy Lee was dumb obviously because she said she had nothing against me and acted nothing like it and went ballistic crazy with me over trivial issues that I don't really care about. I didn't stalk her but she put a restraining order on me, so she's more than crazy- she's a bad word to some people I won't mention on here to be decent but I think people know what I'm alluding to. I think Crazy Lee and what she is and writing about it is doing enough justice.
From these errors that people made with me and my failure as a citizen to set these crazy people straight, I was so scared and angry at them that I released my tension somehow by making the dude's ex really afraid of me and blowing up in proportion the image of a pastor. The pastor is like he hates me and wants everybody to not take him seriously. I think this is why that church has to be cool about me going there now to try to make up some grounds and so a lot of people there have been walking away from this silly fight I have put up. However, I'm impressed because there is a guy who stuck with it and the credit really belongs to me sort of because I put in the right intensity to get to him. Third time is a charm and it feels good to do a favor for him in letting go of the beef I have with him.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
