It's like from having a better sense of humor and more personal stability with accepting things that just make me downright mad underneath, I'm starting to have more of an absent-minded feeling about the pain in putting myself through too much work. It's like just making a decision and sticking to it. This is what it really comes down to.
For my watching with World Series yesterday, it's like I dropped everything so I could see the game. I knew I had other stuff on my plate to already complete. I actually regret having done that now and should be a little smarter like I could watch the highlighted replays. I mean this game was so good yesterday though and had so much entertainment value. It's not really going to be the end of world for me if I miss it though because I have other things that I need to keep myself busy with at the moment. It's great if others can come to terms with having fun and letting go of their responsibilities in that moment of time. They really shouldn't though and it's just my opinion with that.
It's sort of like having status and I can imagine that with people being parents. They have kids and after they tuck them to bed or trust them as good kids who are spending the night at their friends', the parents get like a off night to have lots of fun with each other if you know what I mean! I wonder if I would still try to sneak in a lot of fun even with the kids around, just lock the door to keep it private I guess.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
Thursday, October 26, 2017
Planning My Steps
I'm completely just winging it and doing whatever these days and for some of the things, I'm just not feeling for them. I guess that part with missing the good feelings really isn't a reliable indicator for how happy I am at the moment.
I'm really open to being happily married now and willing to wait on God's timing for it. The Lord is real to me and even though I'm still tempted and see myself falling, I can't rely on my own strength here. It has to come from my faith and trust in Jesus because my feelings are going to totally go whack throughout the day. Just doing whatever I want to do and even forgetting that I have a Bible to read on most days, I'm going to be doing the same thing most likely even when I'm home.
I do want to make changes for myself though and it's hard moving out of my own comfort zone to be consistent with that effort. It's like with all this free time where I just want to relax with entertaining myself, it's hard to get away from that and put my focus on something that just feels boring and hard and unproductive. It's probably from just fear of being stressed out.
I'm really open to being happily married now and willing to wait on God's timing for it. The Lord is real to me and even though I'm still tempted and see myself falling, I can't rely on my own strength here. It has to come from my faith and trust in Jesus because my feelings are going to totally go whack throughout the day. Just doing whatever I want to do and even forgetting that I have a Bible to read on most days, I'm going to be doing the same thing most likely even when I'm home.
I do want to make changes for myself though and it's hard moving out of my own comfort zone to be consistent with that effort. It's like with all this free time where I just want to relax with entertaining myself, it's hard to get away from that and put my focus on something that just feels boring and hard and unproductive. It's probably from just fear of being stressed out.
Managing My Time
I guess I'm planning a lot of leisurely activities like I'm trying to go for a major hike at San Gorgonio with a female friend of mine. She sees me as a big brother, but gets mad if I don't treat her like a lady. She also likes to call me up and talk about pretty much everything. Well yeah, she's pretty too so I'm not really trying to complain even though I wish she would talk less sometimes when we're watching a movie together.
Like begets like though because since she's pretty and I have another pretty friend, pretty female friends just keep getting added on to me. A bonus is that they tell me that they love me too! It's great.
Sometimes being just pretty and smart like those girls are isn't good enough because you just can't do everything to meet their demands. It's like they'll tell you let's go do this and this and you sort of sometimes feel like it's a drag but the good thing is that these cute friends love being outdoors and I'm into that too.
Like begets like though because since she's pretty and I have another pretty friend, pretty female friends just keep getting added on to me. A bonus is that they tell me that they love me too! It's great.
Sometimes being just pretty and smart like those girls are isn't good enough because you just can't do everything to meet their demands. It's like they'll tell you let's go do this and this and you sort of sometimes feel like it's a drag but the good thing is that these cute friends love being outdoors and I'm into that too.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
Just Feel Like it
I feel like just watching the Dodgers play Game 2 of the World Series today. I will be back home from by 6 pm and then be ready to knock out by 10 pm. I just have four hours and it will go by fast and then the next day I have to wake up at 5 am to get ready and go to work on time by 7 am in the traffic while driving 30 miles. It's quite a bit of driving. This has been my routine and it's scary for me sharing because this is mainly what I do.
I want to change it up and not go into this same office anymore. I want to make a lot of money doing what I have been dreaming of. The friends around me, especially the girls, have been great and supportive of me. It's like I have won their love already even though they may be committed to something else at the moment. Hanging with them has been a major plus and taking my time to understand and tolerate their antics I'm not too interested in, has really helped me to better understand women in general. These girls I've been hanging with have something that's very smart about them.
I've been just opening up with honesty and sticking to my moral values of decency and just believing in that. I'm naturally a pretty giving person based on my personal preferences and personality. It's just a part of me, so it just makes sense that I get along with people in general. Bringing up my past a little bit with these friends of mine, they believe the people I talked to were acting weird with me.
I didn't have a voice back then when I wanted to say something and that's probably what ruined everything and gets everybody scared or nervous with me. I've been doing the opposite and it's been a lot better for me with managing myself around people. I've even written long and openly honest statements with people I've been just ticked off at from the past and they haven't responded back neither have I got in trouble with them for anything. I guess this attempt to be fully honest with them has helped me be in better standing in general. It may be really easy to pick at those past individuals now if I feel like it though, and they are trying to come at me.
I want to change it up and not go into this same office anymore. I want to make a lot of money doing what I have been dreaming of. The friends around me, especially the girls, have been great and supportive of me. It's like I have won their love already even though they may be committed to something else at the moment. Hanging with them has been a major plus and taking my time to understand and tolerate their antics I'm not too interested in, has really helped me to better understand women in general. These girls I've been hanging with have something that's very smart about them.
I've been just opening up with honesty and sticking to my moral values of decency and just believing in that. I'm naturally a pretty giving person based on my personal preferences and personality. It's just a part of me, so it just makes sense that I get along with people in general. Bringing up my past a little bit with these friends of mine, they believe the people I talked to were acting weird with me.
I didn't have a voice back then when I wanted to say something and that's probably what ruined everything and gets everybody scared or nervous with me. I've been doing the opposite and it's been a lot better for me with managing myself around people. I've even written long and openly honest statements with people I've been just ticked off at from the past and they haven't responded back neither have I got in trouble with them for anything. I guess this attempt to be fully honest with them has helped me be in better standing in general. It may be really easy to pick at those past individuals now if I feel like it though, and they are trying to come at me.
Goals and Sacrifices
I guess the main sacrifices I'm going to have to make is pretty much leisure or thinking about whatever the heck I want. Like for now, I was just thinking about Bolieve, a WWE character who is a funny heel (bad guy). There was a YouTube video posted where some WWE Superstars read negative comments about themselves and reacted to it. Bolieve had one of the funniest responses when he read a comment from a lady who claimed that he made her feel sick. He stated that he wanted to stick out his hands through her television and grab her neck and then tell her how much beautiful he thinks she is.
Yeah, entertainment is hard to get enough of and so many performers do it so well and make a successful living off of it. I'm wired and drawn to viewing those entertainers even them I can always think a lot about the things I have on my plate. It's probably that in the moment I just don't feel like completing it. I'm missing that spark of interest and want to be sucked into something really cool and entertaining. After it's all over though, it has a negative effect with my emotions.
I haven't really been able to come away with making a living with what I desire and spend little time with leisure. It's really hard and I still have that desire underneath me to reach that goal. I basically work slow and have stints if I can be emotionally bonded to something while having fun with it. It's like my mind is just shutting down after this long day at work and drive home with traffic. It just likes to drain my energy. I need to find a way out of this state of mind because I want something bigger than just constantly being entertained while just sitting there.
Yeah, entertainment is hard to get enough of and so many performers do it so well and make a successful living off of it. I'm wired and drawn to viewing those entertainers even them I can always think a lot about the things I have on my plate. It's probably that in the moment I just don't feel like completing it. I'm missing that spark of interest and want to be sucked into something really cool and entertaining. After it's all over though, it has a negative effect with my emotions.
I haven't really been able to come away with making a living with what I desire and spend little time with leisure. It's really hard and I still have that desire underneath me to reach that goal. I basically work slow and have stints if I can be emotionally bonded to something while having fun with it. It's like my mind is just shutting down after this long day at work and drive home with traffic. It just likes to drain my energy. I need to find a way out of this state of mind because I want something bigger than just constantly being entertained while just sitting there.
Setting Priorities
I guess making friends is great too and trying to socialize with new attractive people. There's pretty much nothing wrong with doing that then. A lot of the issues that I'm dealing with is pretty much not having time to do the things that I'm interested in. It would be awesome if everyday had like 30 hours instead of 24 but it's not happening, this is how God and man balanced out our days.
Imagining myself with the world having 30 hours per day, I would probably complain about not having enough time again anyway. Everything needs a balance for me and my thoughts need to adjust for as such. I think I'm just going to have to need patience and plan my steps out in a detailed manner while making it all count.
I guess from me going all crazy with some estranged friends in the past, I made them think that I'm a psycho. I never really thought of myself to be that type of person. I guess admitting that I got a restraining order from an old estranged friend who accused me of being a terrorist behind my back changes things. Well, I guess it's just drama from girls then and they don't really want to see it that way and just want to think that I'm some crazy person. It's the way girls are sometimes. They are stupid in that manner and just can't help it because that's who they are. I have come to an acceptance with those stupid girls in my life.
Let's be 100% detailed here and cover everything without leaving anything out to the point that people will just poke fun at me. The main thing is just blocking out angry thoughts and staying in control and thinking through the situation. I'll just do whatever I feel like man in the end.
Imagining myself with the world having 30 hours per day, I would probably complain about not having enough time again anyway. Everything needs a balance for me and my thoughts need to adjust for as such. I think I'm just going to have to need patience and plan my steps out in a detailed manner while making it all count.
I guess from me going all crazy with some estranged friends in the past, I made them think that I'm a psycho. I never really thought of myself to be that type of person. I guess admitting that I got a restraining order from an old estranged friend who accused me of being a terrorist behind my back changes things. Well, I guess it's just drama from girls then and they don't really want to see it that way and just want to think that I'm some crazy person. It's the way girls are sometimes. They are stupid in that manner and just can't help it because that's who they are. I have come to an acceptance with those stupid girls in my life.
Let's be 100% detailed here and cover everything without leaving anything out to the point that people will just poke fun at me. The main thing is just blocking out angry thoughts and staying in control and thinking through the situation. I'll just do whatever I feel like man in the end.
Time Management Issues
My time seems so pressed for doing the things I want to accomplish. I'm just not able to because I'm lacking discipline to get it done. It's just like right at that moment I let myself get distracted and do something else with what I have planned.
Well, I guess the smart thing since I'm watching the World Series right now with the Dodgers and Astros, I could just watch the replays instead of just sitting there to enjoy the game. The Lakers games could be fun as well, but probably what's draining most of the time is work.
Well, I guess the smart thing since I'm watching the World Series right now with the Dodgers and Astros, I could just watch the replays instead of just sitting there to enjoy the game. The Lakers games could be fun as well, but probably what's draining most of the time is work.
Monday, October 23, 2017
Ideally Speaking
Out of all the girls I have hung out with and are still available, it's just funny to me that some of them think I'm awkward or weird. They're just negatively invested in a weird emotional way that girls are wired to think. Those girls just can't help being naturally stupid and from me gaining self-confidence with a sense of humor about my shortcomings like being short or just sucking at life, I don't really care that much anymore frankly.
There are some really bright girls out there if you tap them the right way and in some cases, you can take the wrong approach and there's one girl who I did that too and she still thinks of me as a friend. Repairing fallen relationships for whatever reason isn't going to happen just by bugging the person. There's a lot of work that needs to be done and also tempers are going to be flaring.
I guess since I desire to push those girl's buttons and shove the envelope so hard they'll feel it even after 10 years, I might as well just do whatever the heck I feel like it because I don't want them dead to begin with. I don't care if they're miserable because of me trying bug them by talking though. I'll even bug the people they try to run to and make those girls and the people who are trying to help those girls look stupid and laughing stocks. That will be my little entertainment and secret to keep from them. Well, if they are smart enough to read this blog, then they know my plan that they are helpless to stop regardless anyway.
All those silly girls can do is just run far away and never come back to the establishment I have settled in that they don't happen to be proud owners of nor use it for any significant social outings. I guess I can make a scene then and just be like they aren't holy to begin with to give any advice because they are just stupid and run with that like everything about them is a joke. I'll just call it my entertainment and tell them it's better than sitting down and watching TV for me. It's also safer than UFC fighting but I will defend myself and call the cops if I need to and don't care how unfair I kick their behinds from training myself to be a great fighter at the same time.
There are some really bright girls out there if you tap them the right way and in some cases, you can take the wrong approach and there's one girl who I did that too and she still thinks of me as a friend. Repairing fallen relationships for whatever reason isn't going to happen just by bugging the person. There's a lot of work that needs to be done and also tempers are going to be flaring.
I guess since I desire to push those girl's buttons and shove the envelope so hard they'll feel it even after 10 years, I might as well just do whatever the heck I feel like it because I don't want them dead to begin with. I don't care if they're miserable because of me trying bug them by talking though. I'll even bug the people they try to run to and make those girls and the people who are trying to help those girls look stupid and laughing stocks. That will be my little entertainment and secret to keep from them. Well, if they are smart enough to read this blog, then they know my plan that they are helpless to stop regardless anyway.
All those silly girls can do is just run far away and never come back to the establishment I have settled in that they don't happen to be proud owners of nor use it for any significant social outings. I guess I can make a scene then and just be like they aren't holy to begin with to give any advice because they are just stupid and run with that like everything about them is a joke. I'll just call it my entertainment and tell them it's better than sitting down and watching TV for me. It's also safer than UFC fighting but I will defend myself and call the cops if I need to and don't care how unfair I kick their behinds from training myself to be a great fighter at the same time.
Wednesday, October 18, 2017
Things To Do
Honestly, I would love to showboat and spend my time like it was leisure bugging old acquaintances who ended up developing anger issues with me to put it aside and add me back onto their social media profiles. I guess I was releasing nervous energy with them which concerned them so much because it was overly done in a way that just scared them and they didn't know what I was talking about! I was having fun with them while I was practically mad and feeling good about letting all of it go and don't have problems doing it to the people who they go running to because after all it's just fun for me!
Yeah, over all it's just wasting my time and having fun at the same time. It's like watching TV while knowing that I should be working on my beauty sleep. It's pretty dumb what I'm doing because there are better things out there besides just messing with the heads of people who can't handle my behavior that well.
Yeah, over all it's just wasting my time and having fun at the same time. It's like watching TV while knowing that I should be working on my beauty sleep. It's pretty dumb what I'm doing because there are better things out there besides just messing with the heads of people who can't handle my behavior that well.
Time Consuming Activities
Well for the most part, worshipping Jesus does take a big portion of my life because I'm trying to honor his ways 24-7 even while I'm willingly acting stupid from getting a little loose like having a drink or two or even still trying to view hot nude photos of the most attractive women available on there. I guess I'm definitely straight and it's not changing anytime soon. I can seriously think a man is really good looking though and be a little surprised why girls are like not chasing after him sometimes.
I can't really think of myself from just enjoying sex on the fly. I really need to feel an attraction for her and it has to be mutual. I do feel turned on occasionally while hanging out with a single friend who is occasionally lonely and bored with nothing to do. I'm sure it would be fun, but it just wouldn't be right because I know she's not in the right state of mind yet. It would be just purely irresponsible for us to go there, so I just let it dissipate. It does feel a lot better and more natural than forcing myself upon looking at porn and trying to study how to hold it long enough to pleasure a partner.
I can't really think of myself from just enjoying sex on the fly. I really need to feel an attraction for her and it has to be mutual. I do feel turned on occasionally while hanging out with a single friend who is occasionally lonely and bored with nothing to do. I'm sure it would be fun, but it just wouldn't be right because I know she's not in the right state of mind yet. It would be just purely irresponsible for us to go there, so I just let it dissipate. It does feel a lot better and more natural than forcing myself upon looking at porn and trying to study how to hold it long enough to pleasure a partner.
Photography
With my time, it really looks like I don't have any time to do stuff but it's been cool to dabble in photography. Getting my feet wet onto that subject has been great and I'm like so interested to get better at it outside the classroom. A lot of cool shots really happen from me just getting lucky!
Basically, it's like taking a million shots and getting lucky with ending up with a few gorgeous shots. It's just bound to happen for everyone and you just need to be ready for it. The only thing I'm missing in my photography arsenal is now printing some gorgeous photos and that's going to be so expensive! I guess that's the only thing missing for me.
Basically, it's like taking a million shots and getting lucky with ending up with a few gorgeous shots. It's just bound to happen for everyone and you just need to be ready for it. The only thing I'm missing in my photography arsenal is now printing some gorgeous photos and that's going to be so expensive! I guess that's the only thing missing for me.
Interesting With Hanging Out
I guess it's a lot easier to have a friend to be like always interested with going outdoors and exploring trails and just having fun with it. She sees me as a big brother to her and I have no problems with it. The thing though is that we are not related by blood and she doesn't have any problems with me trying to hit on her sometimes or giving her some serious hugs!
It's pretty funny over all how she uses that big bro term from looking up to me, and I am at least seven years older than her even though she's in her mid 20s already. I have noticed guys smiling at us while we're hanging out. I guess we naturally look like a couple together. I just try to downplay it the whole time in my head. People just leave us alone about the idea so I guess it can't really be that bad for me. She is also a bit shorter than me so that also helps too a lot for me!
It's pretty funny over all how she uses that big bro term from looking up to me, and I am at least seven years older than her even though she's in her mid 20s already. I have noticed guys smiling at us while we're hanging out. I guess we naturally look like a couple together. I just try to downplay it the whole time in my head. People just leave us alone about the idea so I guess it can't really be that bad for me. She is also a bit shorter than me so that also helps too a lot for me!
Monday, October 16, 2017
Hmm
It looks like I have a pretty good idea with how to manage my time properly. From basically getting to work after waking up, it's like I'm not really trying to waste my time and take care of business. Just by doing this, I am made really well with spending my time well.
I think I have a much cooler attitude with my tasks these days and just not really about fretting from not having enough fun. There's pretty much a way for getting things done and it isn't impossible.
I think I have a much cooler attitude with my tasks these days and just not really about fretting from not having enough fun. There's pretty much a way for getting things done and it isn't impossible.
Approaching Women Confidently
I have no problems and issues with being turned down by any woman if I really like her. For myself, I feel that I haven't got myself to a state yet that I desire to start dating anybody. I want to still work at myself before I go for a really swell woman. From all the socializing I have done with lady friends who look hot sometimes, I totally suppress those emotions and love to hold meaningful conversations with them. It looks like I'm not really interested in a romantic relationship with them because of maybe their tendencies to want independence.
I get really physically attracted sometimes when I hug a female friend and try to bear hug her affectionately for a short period. She doesn't mind and still acts friendly while probably not even knowing that chemistry goes on in my head. I've been able to be aroused at certain periods and just be like it's passing to my head and still be in control while hanging out.
I'm getting pretty good at monitoring my own personal sexual desires these days. With this lady friend of mine, I know she wouldn't be able to be fully committed to the best of her ability in a relationship. She has a psychological condition that I managed to bring myself out of. I just love the fact that I bond with her from my depressing past and can share some meaningful conversations and just chill while having fun with her.
I get really physically attracted sometimes when I hug a female friend and try to bear hug her affectionately for a short period. She doesn't mind and still acts friendly while probably not even knowing that chemistry goes on in my head. I've been able to be aroused at certain periods and just be like it's passing to my head and still be in control while hanging out.
I'm getting pretty good at monitoring my own personal sexual desires these days. With this lady friend of mine, I know she wouldn't be able to be fully committed to the best of her ability in a relationship. She has a psychological condition that I managed to bring myself out of. I just love the fact that I bond with her from my depressing past and can share some meaningful conversations and just chill while having fun with her.
Passing the Moment
I believe that time management is one of the biggest critical things for me right now that I would love to have mastery over. Along the way, I've been developing some beautiful friendships with decent looking and attractive girls. It doesn't really bother me that much to say the truth that I'm not in any dating relationship with any of them. I guess I'm just really picky and see some flaws with them naturally that would really hinder me from wanting to go on dates with them in the first place.
Just because a girl looks hot, I'm not really trying to pursue a date with her. I would like to take my time with just getting to know her and look at it from the sidelines. I know I'll do okay with a really loving and blessed relationship, but I just don't feel ready economically enough to pursue girls. I also want to continue to improve my appearance as well, so I'm about half way there right now and right at the beginning in some places.
Just because a girl looks hot, I'm not really trying to pursue a date with her. I would like to take my time with just getting to know her and look at it from the sidelines. I know I'll do okay with a really loving and blessed relationship, but I just don't feel ready economically enough to pursue girls. I also want to continue to improve my appearance as well, so I'm about half way there right now and right at the beginning in some places.
Tuesday, October 10, 2017
Understanding Myself
I can be a strong button pusher and also push the envelop with people. This is what has been developing for me with some people and fortunately, the situation isn't really that bad for me and I don't really have to take what those people think that seriously either now.
It's all underneath me and preparing myself more these days, I don't think I need to act out in fear or anger with people anymore. I can just be calm and say the truth and I guess from doing that, I find myself to be naturally a light-hearted funny guy.
It's all underneath me and preparing myself more these days, I don't think I need to act out in fear or anger with people anymore. I can just be calm and say the truth and I guess from doing that, I find myself to be naturally a light-hearted funny guy.
Sticking To Agenda
This is one thing that I need to work at doing. I guess it's really for me to be sidetracked from having set out to do something and then be led into another to spend my time. It's not entirely too bad from last night with how I fared. It's unfortunate though because I'm reaping personal feelings of not having really met my desires that I made for myself.
The thing that has been so hard for me is dealing with distractions from family while I have plans to do something. I know I could be doing a lot better.
One of the things that I'm understanding better these days is that it really doesn't bother me to not get that much recognition from friends. I think I work better from not being bothered anyway. There's so much more potential that I have and I haven't reached it yet. I'm putting stuff that could be cool in some cases but the quality isn't really there yet and needs a lot of polishing.
With people being spoiled, I guess this is what causes them to try to move away from me or me with them. It's pretty much back to trying again and figuring things out for me.
The thing that has been so hard for me is dealing with distractions from family while I have plans to do something. I know I could be doing a lot better.
One of the things that I'm understanding better these days is that it really doesn't bother me to not get that much recognition from friends. I think I work better from not being bothered anyway. There's so much more potential that I have and I haven't reached it yet. I'm putting stuff that could be cool in some cases but the quality isn't really there yet and needs a lot of polishing.
With people being spoiled, I guess this is what causes them to try to move away from me or me with them. It's pretty much back to trying again and figuring things out for me.
No Fear, No Anger, Just Truth
I think a lot of my problems with people even though those matters aren't that serious as it felt back then, is that I just let scared feelings and anger get in the way of things. It's been really hard to not give into some past scenarios and replaying back, I just felt like I could have damaged a person from just letting out my anger with him or her. I mean I feel bad about doing those things so that's my fear of feeling guilt.
My anger was practically being yelled at or people not adding me as a friend anymore or dropping me as a friend. In dealing with both my fear and anger, I had trouble opening up with the people I felt bothered by. They didn't really know what was going on because I wasn't revealing all the truths about me that I didn't want them to know.
It looks like from the intensity I felt in dealing with these people, I can treat the matter as being a real world issue for myself. At the end of the day though, I'm relieved it's not really that bad as I made it out to be in the past. It's not something that is too hard to get over and the one desire I had trouble doing was pushing the envelope with people out of fear.
My anger was practically being yelled at or people not adding me as a friend anymore or dropping me as a friend. In dealing with both my fear and anger, I had trouble opening up with the people I felt bothered by. They didn't really know what was going on because I wasn't revealing all the truths about me that I didn't want them to know.
It looks like from the intensity I felt in dealing with these people, I can treat the matter as being a real world issue for myself. At the end of the day though, I'm relieved it's not really that bad as I made it out to be in the past. It's not something that is too hard to get over and the one desire I had trouble doing was pushing the envelope with people out of fear.
Monday, October 9, 2017
Prioritizing Again
It seems like I'm really uncomfortable talking about every micro-detail going on with me on this blog. I guess I'll keep some of it private then because I wouldn't want someone to read up on me from this site just to expose me being completely honest as possible with myself.
Probably one of the major tools that I will have to utilize is discipline of my time management. I think I'll list out the things I want to complete and try to get them done before trying to finish off the night doing whatever. I think rest is really vital, so I might not get around to entertaining myself so I need to get used to that.
Probably one of the major tools that I will have to utilize is discipline of my time management. I think I'll list out the things I want to complete and try to get them done before trying to finish off the night doing whatever. I think rest is really vital, so I might not get around to entertaining myself so I need to get used to that.
Setting Priorities Straight
I guess one of the things I should be doing then is just planning my steps. There's really not much to it. The hard part is really just executing it without being distracted by other things.
It does really feel good to set aside to complete one major activity before moving on to the next and then finding yourself with downtime to do whatever from completing what's on your list. The problem that I'm facing is that I may have too many priorities that I want to complete and just not physically able to. I need to figure out how I can make my time more worthwhile.
It does really feel good to set aside to complete one major activity before moving on to the next and then finding yourself with downtime to do whatever from completing what's on your list. The problem that I'm facing is that I may have too many priorities that I want to complete and just not physically able to. I need to figure out how I can make my time more worthwhile.
Friday, October 6, 2017
Dealing With a Guy or Girl
Guys and girls are generally so different. Basically I started off liking with being friends with guys and thought girls had cooties. I was like yuck whenever a cute little girl approached me to play with her. It happened maybe only once and then all the girls stopped approaching me. A few cute little girls were fun when I was in elementary and I think only one fat teacher who was like 400 pounds hated me and that was about it. Man that fat teacher was a bad apple to me and I just wanted to hate on her while I stared at her walking and moving all of that mass. I felt like I could hear a boom boom bass drum with every step she took. That teacher passed away early and I had no words to say about it. Now looking back, I recall the teachers back then said you'll look back and be like all cool about what you went through. Precisely, those teachers were right.
I think I just wanted to be better and did not know what I was doing and going with that ignorant direction completely sucks. It's better to just be open-minded and research about topics that interest you and possibly take from that what community has to offer you. If you can give back, then that's great too I suppose! I tried doing that a few times and it feels good to get recognition. You just can't go wrong with that.
Well with guys, generally to make fun of them and get something across while they are snapping and you fuming with them, you just talk trash about how they are making a living. You only do this if you really have a point and their defenses will go up and if you can break through that barrier like I've been able to with some dumb guys, those guys will just look hopeless and crash and burn with you. This is only with guys you are just really mad at and want to make fun of them to the point that they can't do anything about it. It really disrupts their confidence and that's all you have to talk about.
From my experiences with dealing with agitated young women, they are so helpless! Looking back, they are like ready to be submissive with you. I think that's what the total secret is with them, so the general idea is to end up being nice to them and being straight-forward with plenty of details. Generally, to hurt them it's really putting out consequences they may have no control over or something they just dread so much. It's a little complicated and something you just do in a natural fashion but yeah being straight-forward with plenty of details and communicating clearly even if it's stupid will generally get the girl to relax a little bit with you. Girls just like being this submissive or nice person underneath with you, especially if you are a decent guy. She can't do everything for you, if she's already in a committed relationship and will feel bad, but these are what girls generally like to feel with you.
I think I just wanted to be better and did not know what I was doing and going with that ignorant direction completely sucks. It's better to just be open-minded and research about topics that interest you and possibly take from that what community has to offer you. If you can give back, then that's great too I suppose! I tried doing that a few times and it feels good to get recognition. You just can't go wrong with that.
Well with guys, generally to make fun of them and get something across while they are snapping and you fuming with them, you just talk trash about how they are making a living. You only do this if you really have a point and their defenses will go up and if you can break through that barrier like I've been able to with some dumb guys, those guys will just look hopeless and crash and burn with you. This is only with guys you are just really mad at and want to make fun of them to the point that they can't do anything about it. It really disrupts their confidence and that's all you have to talk about.
From my experiences with dealing with agitated young women, they are so helpless! Looking back, they are like ready to be submissive with you. I think that's what the total secret is with them, so the general idea is to end up being nice to them and being straight-forward with plenty of details. Generally, to hurt them it's really putting out consequences they may have no control over or something they just dread so much. It's a little complicated and something you just do in a natural fashion but yeah being straight-forward with plenty of details and communicating clearly even if it's stupid will generally get the girl to relax a little bit with you. Girls just like being this submissive or nice person underneath with you, especially if you are a decent guy. She can't do everything for you, if she's already in a committed relationship and will feel bad, but these are what girls generally like to feel with you.
Diligence
Diligence is pretty much putting in a painstaking effort to get something done. For example, it's like playing a video game and staying persistent with it while it gets boring to pass the whole game. I've done that with a few games in the past and only to feel excited after passing it right after, so it's like hidden and something you might never know. This is probably what got me addicted to games in the first place.
After awhile of being a game addict, I felt very sheepish to be continuously trying to play it over and over again. It was feeling like an empty life for me and not really satisfying me so much anymore. I was also feeling guilty over not prioritizing with other stuff that was out there and wanted to have more fun besides just feeling empty and all by myself. I wasn't feeling good at all sometimes and actually feeling restless with a lot of negative energy and fatigued while getting headaches with frustrations when I was going after doing other boring chores.
It just took a dedicated effort to become more self-aware of myself and despite it being so hard from having no direction, I just continued to try. While feeling so hard on myself, which was probably one of the biggest issues I had growing up, life was pretty hard to deal with. Even though I had nothing much going for me, I wasn't able to look at the big picture and just feeling like a mess totally inside while not trying to show it to anybody.
It was more than just finding a cure for my mental depression. It was about looking for answers and finding constant joy and happiness.
After awhile of being a game addict, I felt very sheepish to be continuously trying to play it over and over again. It was feeling like an empty life for me and not really satisfying me so much anymore. I was also feeling guilty over not prioritizing with other stuff that was out there and wanted to have more fun besides just feeling empty and all by myself. I wasn't feeling good at all sometimes and actually feeling restless with a lot of negative energy and fatigued while getting headaches with frustrations when I was going after doing other boring chores.
It just took a dedicated effort to become more self-aware of myself and despite it being so hard from having no direction, I just continued to try. While feeling so hard on myself, which was probably one of the biggest issues I had growing up, life was pretty hard to deal with. Even though I had nothing much going for me, I wasn't able to look at the big picture and just feeling like a mess totally inside while not trying to show it to anybody.
It was more than just finding a cure for my mental depression. It was about looking for answers and finding constant joy and happiness.
I'm a Believer
With the world having billions of people, I'm a true believer that there is a hot woman out there who will love and marry me. It's ought to happen all in time so I'm not stressing it anymore. With me getting older, I guess I can go without kids and maybe even have the heart to adopt a few if I'm wealthy. I guess I don't want to be too old by the time I'm able to have a child with a hot wife!
I don't think it really matters to me though. Honestly, I'd rather have a lot of fun being intimate with her if you know what I mean. With there being so many fish in the sea, I guess I screwed up with some very terrible choices by default and I don't regret it because I did absolutely nothing with those girls!
I don't think it really matters to me though. Honestly, I'd rather have a lot of fun being intimate with her if you know what I mean. With there being so many fish in the sea, I guess I screwed up with some very terrible choices by default and I don't regret it because I did absolutely nothing with those girls!
Thursday, October 5, 2017
So Very Difficult
Time management is turning out to be very hard to do. I'm like aware and my mind feeds me weak signals but I'm unable to do what I want to set myself out to do. They are only excuses because when I'm in the moment while at home, I just want to chill and not really work hard especially after driving home through traffic and eating a meal cooked by my mom.
It's not a bad thing and I want to blame the traffic and my mom's cooking for not being able to do anything, but they are only bad excuses for my lack of time management and overloading myself with desires that I can't seem to keep up with. This is pretty much my problem right now. In the past, probably from being withdrawn with my mental depression, I just played video games and kept life simple while feeling lonely and wanting something more out of life. When I took the hard step to drop playing video games that used to stimulate my brain and entertain or anger me from competing against other players, my life slowly started taking a different direction.
I haven't really regressed into playing a popular video game. I just can't seem to find the time to have fun with it. I'm becoming more practical but yet I'm just opting to sit there and watch TV or read up on useless entertaining material. Yeah, it's fun to read up on Top 10s on any topic that grabs my attention like sex or iconic movie scenes. I guess that's how those sites make money and stick around in their Internet business. I'm better off moving along then maybe and have to just keep on trying.
It's not a bad thing and I want to blame the traffic and my mom's cooking for not being able to do anything, but they are only bad excuses for my lack of time management and overloading myself with desires that I can't seem to keep up with. This is pretty much my problem right now. In the past, probably from being withdrawn with my mental depression, I just played video games and kept life simple while feeling lonely and wanting something more out of life. When I took the hard step to drop playing video games that used to stimulate my brain and entertain or anger me from competing against other players, my life slowly started taking a different direction.
I haven't really regressed into playing a popular video game. I just can't seem to find the time to have fun with it. I'm becoming more practical but yet I'm just opting to sit there and watch TV or read up on useless entertaining material. Yeah, it's fun to read up on Top 10s on any topic that grabs my attention like sex or iconic movie scenes. I guess that's how those sites make money and stick around in their Internet business. I'm better off moving along then maybe and have to just keep on trying.
Saturday, September 30, 2017
Time To Try
I guess I'm going to be crazy and go running in the afternoon. I think I'm really motivated and don't mean anyone bad, but I guess I'll just live with it and take it easy to say the truth.
Better Experience
I guess I'm so tired and it's hard so I need to do the best I can while in that situation. For the most part, I think I'm going to have to just work efficiently as possible so that I wouldn't have to worry about that part. When it does come up, I don't know, maybe I could stop by and get some late night and light coffee or something because caffeine doesn't seem to last for a long time anyway.
Also, I figure that I wouldn't want to stay up late anyway and wake up the next day well-rested.
Also, I figure that I wouldn't want to stay up late anyway and wake up the next day well-rested.
Trying To Play Catch Up
I guess I'm doing the best I can right now with everything. It's really hard for me so it's just tough to put everything together. I just need to work at it and put my time and word into it. Yeah, it's pretty tough in general for me.
I guess I'll do whatever I can. I mean it's great to be an understanding individual and solve people's problems especially your own. I think there's a sense of self-control that needs to be required. Along with that, there needs to be just bravery with opening yourself up and letting everything known about the situation. Also, there has to be a sense of confidence and self-assurance with assertiveness at the same time.
From doing this, I think it's not too hard to deal with stupid problems that people are doing. I guess ideally loving them and meaning well is probably better on the long run then just being angry and going crazy over somebody. I'm aware of all of this and while being in the moment, it's hard to keep in check with all these things sometimes. I guess that's the point of learning and going back.
I think with all the stops that people who are just being bad with me want to do, I think I can outsmart them now while just being entertaining about it with others who get bothered by that person. I have the ability to play my cards however I want to do and end up winning. It's not such a big deal after all.
I guess I'll do whatever I can. I mean it's great to be an understanding individual and solve people's problems especially your own. I think there's a sense of self-control that needs to be required. Along with that, there needs to be just bravery with opening yourself up and letting everything known about the situation. Also, there has to be a sense of confidence and self-assurance with assertiveness at the same time.
From doing this, I think it's not too hard to deal with stupid problems that people are doing. I guess ideally loving them and meaning well is probably better on the long run then just being angry and going crazy over somebody. I'm aware of all of this and while being in the moment, it's hard to keep in check with all these things sometimes. I guess that's the point of learning and going back.
I think with all the stops that people who are just being bad with me want to do, I think I can outsmart them now while just being entertaining about it with others who get bothered by that person. I have the ability to play my cards however I want to do and end up winning. It's not such a big deal after all.
Managing Time Better
I seriously need to manage my time a whole lot better and make better sense out of it. I'm losing so much precious time and hours from just sitting there and watching pointless YouTube clips to relax. I guess I feel something underneath me just pushing me while I'm doing activities that I feel are not so satisfying. Yet, it's really just based on this craving for reading things that I'm interested in and it's not doing much for me.
I think I really need to self-monitor myself better and just be aware of my weak state of mind. I have gone out of a terrible mental disease anyway. I'm fortunate and blessed and give credit to the Lord for bringing me out of it. I really should dig more into Scriptures and be patient with it to gain the knowledge I need to live in this world while feeling more guided. I think it's more than that though because I just can't rely so much on my feelings anymore and I just want to only for the sake of being satisfied with having fun.
I get this drive and want to finish stuff that are pointless after getting the craving. This is probably why I'm wasting so much time now that I think of it. I think I just need to be aware of it. I'm not really going to benefit from seeking a therapist or anything because all I'm really doing is just writing about my problems already anyway and from doing this, I'm gaining better awareness of how I am. I guess it's a good thing over all then. I just don't have affirmation from anyone knowledgeable and that is something I'm going to have to work for in obtaining so I'll be a lot more confident with the direction that I am heading.
I think I really need to self-monitor myself better and just be aware of my weak state of mind. I have gone out of a terrible mental disease anyway. I'm fortunate and blessed and give credit to the Lord for bringing me out of it. I really should dig more into Scriptures and be patient with it to gain the knowledge I need to live in this world while feeling more guided. I think it's more than that though because I just can't rely so much on my feelings anymore and I just want to only for the sake of being satisfied with having fun.
I get this drive and want to finish stuff that are pointless after getting the craving. This is probably why I'm wasting so much time now that I think of it. I think I just need to be aware of it. I'm not really going to benefit from seeking a therapist or anything because all I'm really doing is just writing about my problems already anyway and from doing this, I'm gaining better awareness of how I am. I guess it's a good thing over all then. I just don't have affirmation from anyone knowledgeable and that is something I'm going to have to work for in obtaining so I'll be a lot more confident with the direction that I am heading.
Making Strides
I guess it's not the end of the world for me and it is really fun with a lot of things that's going on for me. I mean I'm hanging out with girls and actually pretty good friends with them! That's better than being a lonely dude out of the loop somewhere for me.
It's better to do something then not do anything at all. Despite me still feeling sleepy, I guess this is the part where I just need to keep trucking along and putting in the effort. I'm just not consistent because I guess I just feel like I don't have everything that I'm aware of. Yet, I have grown to be very appreciative of what I have here. I guess I'm praising God for it, but I don't have balance that I need.
It's better to do something then not do anything at all. Despite me still feeling sleepy, I guess this is the part where I just need to keep trucking along and putting in the effort. I'm just not consistent because I guess I just feel like I don't have everything that I'm aware of. Yet, I have grown to be very appreciative of what I have here. I guess I'm praising God for it, but I don't have balance that I need.
Mainly One Thing
I guess I just need to utilize my time better and to be able to stay awake until it's time to go to sleep. That's pretty much the only difficult thing for me. It's just managing my time and sleeping while being happy I guess instead of it being involuntary.
Catch Up
Well I'm just on here to say that I'm really bored now with the thought of getting off on porn. I would rather have a sexy wife who is into getting rather intimate if you know what I mean. Along with that it would be nice to be successful and have a lot of time on my times while staying healthy.
Besides just trying to waste my weekend really not doing much but feeding my cravings for winning at simple games, I think I could let go of that silly activity because of it just feels a little too much in excess for what I want to have going.
Besides just trying to waste my weekend really not doing much but feeding my cravings for winning at simple games, I think I could let go of that silly activity because of it just feels a little too much in excess for what I want to have going.
Friday, September 29, 2017
Uh Oh
Okay I haven't posted on here for awhile. Time for a little catch up. I'm just making a filler post here. Technically, I could just do this everyday but I'm finding that writing whatever is in my little head is practically funny and can be bad for people that I'm trying to bash if they decide to read it and figure it's directed right at them!
The good news is that I still like being friends. What I just heard on the radio is that everybody isn't perfect for each other because we are sinful people. It's just nice to be understanding about it and personally work at it.
The good news is that I still like being friends. What I just heard on the radio is that everybody isn't perfect for each other because we are sinful people. It's just nice to be understanding about it and personally work at it.
Sunday, September 24, 2017
Follow Up For Efficiency
It's starting to feel a lot more simple these days. Especially with me being cluttered with a lot of different things, I do really have only three main things that I would like to get done on a daily basis. It's pretty much study the Bible, work out, and learn to trade or make money with that.
Instead of just procrastinating, I think it's better for me to just get those basic steps done and then go after extra credit with staying ahead of things or being consistent with things to the best of my ability. This would mean that I'm not going to have time for some fun things for awhile, but it's life so sacrifices need to be made to get that winning point of fulfilling my dreams.
Instead of just procrastinating, I think it's better for me to just get those basic steps done and then go after extra credit with staying ahead of things or being consistent with things to the best of my ability. This would mean that I'm not going to have time for some fun things for awhile, but it's life so sacrifices need to be made to get that winning point of fulfilling my dreams.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
Going for Efficiency
I'm starting to understand what it takes to perform really well now and what good discipline means. For myself, I see that it's about continuing to push myself and to let some stuff go as needed. There are some things that are beyond my control and to dwell on it, it's really just taking up my time when I should be wise about my time management. It's hard sometimes but a lot of the stuff that I get caught up with isn't really that important to me anyways. It shouldn't be that hard to move on from and to re-center my focus on something that I desire.
It feels awkward to just have that feeling of being lost, but it's during that moment where I'm supposed to just keep on pushing forward and going after completing my rigid schedule as necessary. I'm not the little kid that I used to be and still a part of me wants to remain that way and to have the comforts of luxury in life, but I don't think God intended for me to have that. Not without putting in hard work first anyway!
I totally get that I'm an adult now and how it's about manning up. Basically with dating, unless I'm going after dating women who are highly interested in sex, I should stay away from dating sites. I think the best quality of getting a hot girlfriend will really be from conveniently meeting her at like a venue we both happen to enjoy and maybe somehow can run into each other from being introduced or something like that. I think it's really about putting myself out there and being open to making friends and understanding and cool with everybody's time.
I'm pretty much like an alpha male with my short height and I think I'm one of those who can disprove a general idea that short guys can't find happiness with a sexy women. Whether she's taller than me or not now, I think I can entertain dating a taller women without feeling too awkward about it. I guess I can be really happy like Roman Polanski is with his taller and hot trophy wife. Hmm, a trophy wife eh? I think I'll work on being more photogenic so people won't think that way if I do get lucky with scoring a really hot lady.
It feels awkward to just have that feeling of being lost, but it's during that moment where I'm supposed to just keep on pushing forward and going after completing my rigid schedule as necessary. I'm not the little kid that I used to be and still a part of me wants to remain that way and to have the comforts of luxury in life, but I don't think God intended for me to have that. Not without putting in hard work first anyway!
I totally get that I'm an adult now and how it's about manning up. Basically with dating, unless I'm going after dating women who are highly interested in sex, I should stay away from dating sites. I think the best quality of getting a hot girlfriend will really be from conveniently meeting her at like a venue we both happen to enjoy and maybe somehow can run into each other from being introduced or something like that. I think it's really about putting myself out there and being open to making friends and understanding and cool with everybody's time.
I'm pretty much like an alpha male with my short height and I think I'm one of those who can disprove a general idea that short guys can't find happiness with a sexy women. Whether she's taller than me or not now, I think I can entertain dating a taller women without feeling too awkward about it. I guess I can be really happy like Roman Polanski is with his taller and hot trophy wife. Hmm, a trophy wife eh? I think I'll work on being more photogenic so people won't think that way if I do get lucky with scoring a really hot lady.
Simple Review
Well, I'm not doing my optimal best and I could do a whole lot better. I haven't really been touching my trades ever since coming upon that tool and should really be more consistent with learning it. I think it really is going to be my ticket to financial success. I'm just going to have to work hard at it by being consistent at it. I know that it's probably going to work this time around.
I did read a few verses of the Bible today, so I could just strive to study about three chapters to do to approximately finish it in a year. I do have it accessible on my iPhone. I guess it could be worse for me and it's not like it isn't accessible for me, so I should just take advantage of the resource available to me and pray to the Lord as well. I should do all of this in a daily fashion.
I finished working out and I'm trying to go for doing it everyday if possible. I'm also trying to be consistent with my photogenic enhancing stuff too. That's pretty much all I have going while trying to improve myself at being an entertainer. I'm short and only 5' 3". Oh well, I don't care anymore what people think about it, but I do care about getting more muscles though.
I did read a few verses of the Bible today, so I could just strive to study about three chapters to do to approximately finish it in a year. I do have it accessible on my iPhone. I guess it could be worse for me and it's not like it isn't accessible for me, so I should just take advantage of the resource available to me and pray to the Lord as well. I should do all of this in a daily fashion.
I finished working out and I'm trying to go for doing it everyday if possible. I'm also trying to be consistent with my photogenic enhancing stuff too. That's pretty much all I have going while trying to improve myself at being an entertainer. I'm short and only 5' 3". Oh well, I don't care anymore what people think about it, but I do care about getting more muscles though.
Doing Best I Can
I know I'm getting warmer with having everything set up. I think one of the things I need to do is just keep pushing myself and pushing aside some entertaining ideas as less important and go for practical things even though it may feel boring.
For the most part, I don't think dating sites will come that much in handy anymore unless I'm looking for people who basically want sex! Probably the best option for me in meeting open people could very well be just going to places where people just gather and making friends. I think the best relationship may actually come out of being introduced by a good friend.
For the most part, I don't think dating sites will come that much in handy anymore unless I'm looking for people who basically want sex! Probably the best option for me in meeting open people could very well be just going to places where people just gather and making friends. I think the best relationship may actually come out of being introduced by a good friend.
Monday, September 18, 2017
Height Doesn't Matter
I totally got the solution for short guys now, but the short guy needs to be highly motivated and smart enough to make this work. The short guy also needs to generally have a natural inclination with not liking with being a selfish person. If you are a short guy and have those prerequisites, it's really quite simple. For myself, I've been lucky to be hanging with two cute Asian girls at once. They are sisters and one generally made herself hot and I get along with her really well like she wants to think of me as big brother, but I have that feeling she wouldn't mind being more than that. They both are also trying to help me get me a hot girlfriend.
Here's the general outlook that I put together in a few seconds. I'll try to reorganize my thoughts and put it together like I do while coding programs. A few steps to do:
1. Work out. It doesn't matter how much good friends tell you that looks don't matter. It really doesn't after falling in love but work out! We are in the early stages of finding a hot girl and she is a dork and will have filters on while hoping to find the love of her life. She's a dork because other dorky people told her that the right guy is this certain type like being super tall is hot. Stupid I know, but if she falls in love with a tall guy, she won't care that much she first felt that way get it? Don't be selfish and angry short guy with Napoleon complex and be like trying to make her feel guilty. She's going to be with the guy she fell for and you liked her originally so why change your mind and act stupid? I don't get it why I was able to think that some stupid bros do this.
2. Go for looking photogenic. I've slept over at my lady friend's house in her room and when she wakes up, she still looks good from being hot but that's not the point. She still wants to put on makeup to even look better! There's definitely something to talk about and maybe this is for closing in on friendship to talk about this stuff, but I just added in there because looking good for photos will probably get people to think you are too good looking for this hot girl and that might help with confidence and not get you feeling so possessive of her if she wants to do something else with her time and doesn't seem into you. Instead, you can just work on different hot girls until one of them sends you the right signal.
3. This is crazy but it works. Even if it hurts with the girl you are friends with, when she says no to you even if she says she's busy because she's not interested in an activity or actually busy with no reason to give you, have a positive response. It may feel like she ripped your heart out sometimes and will never ever respond to you, but if you weren't weird with her in person and stayed honest and open with her while having true and good intentions, she'll stick around you as at least still a friend.
4. You really got to open up and be social with an extroverted personality. A short guy who does this is seen as masculine and masculinity is seen as sexy and not for the "friend zone" cute! Just being a quiet short dude who doesn't work out and looks nice while saying small phrases and just separating himself from reality to think about how this girl is looking for him while going on autopilot with the date isn't going to cut it for the ladies. The dates will most likely suck for her.
5. Got to pop the question eventually. You like her? Feel her out first and let the feelings of how hot she looks go away for a second. This is where being smart and unselfish is important. You need to examine the compatibility with this girl. Are you also ready for the big commitment?
6. Make lots of money from being successful at something. Be a go-getter. This is so masculine and will attract so many ladies with your focus and on top of that, you have so much money that hot gold diggers will try to buy their way in and match the personality you are looking for! This is where you got to be smart from having all this money and free time, which is important. I know what I'm looking for, but have you put the thought into it to know?
7. Oh yeah. Be nice to people. People are going to be like "this short guy" and "this short guy" and going on and on and on about it. From being sensitive and genuinely a nice guy which is hard to come by for a masculine alpha short guy I have become more like, they won't bring it up so much about you being "this short guy" and might even be rooting for you!
Here's the general outlook that I put together in a few seconds. I'll try to reorganize my thoughts and put it together like I do while coding programs. A few steps to do:
1. Work out. It doesn't matter how much good friends tell you that looks don't matter. It really doesn't after falling in love but work out! We are in the early stages of finding a hot girl and she is a dork and will have filters on while hoping to find the love of her life. She's a dork because other dorky people told her that the right guy is this certain type like being super tall is hot. Stupid I know, but if she falls in love with a tall guy, she won't care that much she first felt that way get it? Don't be selfish and angry short guy with Napoleon complex and be like trying to make her feel guilty. She's going to be with the guy she fell for and you liked her originally so why change your mind and act stupid? I don't get it why I was able to think that some stupid bros do this.
2. Go for looking photogenic. I've slept over at my lady friend's house in her room and when she wakes up, she still looks good from being hot but that's not the point. She still wants to put on makeup to even look better! There's definitely something to talk about and maybe this is for closing in on friendship to talk about this stuff, but I just added in there because looking good for photos will probably get people to think you are too good looking for this hot girl and that might help with confidence and not get you feeling so possessive of her if she wants to do something else with her time and doesn't seem into you. Instead, you can just work on different hot girls until one of them sends you the right signal.
3. This is crazy but it works. Even if it hurts with the girl you are friends with, when she says no to you even if she says she's busy because she's not interested in an activity or actually busy with no reason to give you, have a positive response. It may feel like she ripped your heart out sometimes and will never ever respond to you, but if you weren't weird with her in person and stayed honest and open with her while having true and good intentions, she'll stick around you as at least still a friend.
4. You really got to open up and be social with an extroverted personality. A short guy who does this is seen as masculine and masculinity is seen as sexy and not for the "friend zone" cute! Just being a quiet short dude who doesn't work out and looks nice while saying small phrases and just separating himself from reality to think about how this girl is looking for him while going on autopilot with the date isn't going to cut it for the ladies. The dates will most likely suck for her.
5. Got to pop the question eventually. You like her? Feel her out first and let the feelings of how hot she looks go away for a second. This is where being smart and unselfish is important. You need to examine the compatibility with this girl. Are you also ready for the big commitment?
6. Make lots of money from being successful at something. Be a go-getter. This is so masculine and will attract so many ladies with your focus and on top of that, you have so much money that hot gold diggers will try to buy their way in and match the personality you are looking for! This is where you got to be smart from having all this money and free time, which is important. I know what I'm looking for, but have you put the thought into it to know?
7. Oh yeah. Be nice to people. People are going to be like "this short guy" and "this short guy" and going on and on and on about it. From being sensitive and genuinely a nice guy which is hard to come by for a masculine alpha short guy I have become more like, they won't bring it up so much about you being "this short guy" and might even be rooting for you!
Message to Weird but Cute Looking Girl Who Was Mad At Me
*** Well, for the most part, I think what makes her look pretty hot with her recognizable, facial features is that she's lucky to be born with a thin body and manage to keep it there. Her potential to be emotional in a dramatizing manner is enough to annoy my less savvy friends and complain about her with me. I don't know, I was never really that into her though but I have to admit that I think she looks good now. Especially from all the girls I have met and the ones who seemed to show interest, I think she's one of those I just let get away from me but it might have been the right choice if I look beyond her looks anyway. ***
Hey Michelle, this is [name withheld], the little guy (5'3") you blocked on Facebook! lol
Height doesn't matter because of your DMV license yeah I remember seeing that cute photo with your listed height and age. I was like hmm, nice seriously. It's a good thing that I'm scarier than you are while we were both mad at each other for stupid reasons. It's because I'm a nicer person. You had to go complaining to your good friends like Rosa about me. Yeah, I know and I don't care. Being straight up with you is the best move I got so umm, I guess you are hot for your age lol. You gave me very noticeable and enjoyable hugs, so yeah I get it. The truth is stupid and I'll tell you.
Washington was a total cuss word with me because he thought I was a terrorist and put a restraining order on me. I never went to jail while I got off of it, so at least I'm a safe and friendly terrorist if you think about it with my sarcasm. This means Washington is stupid and deserves me being mad at him because he couldn't handle his girly emotions from being a dude, which I expected out of him! I wanted to get a doggy bag and light it on fire after putting some of his dog's poop on it and ring the doorbell and then run for my life! Yeah, it's immature and got it from a movie. I wanted you to tell me where he lives, gosh dang it! I was so shy to tell you about my immature plan that you totally misunderstand me and turned into a jerk! Who cares because you're a girl and didn't get much out of it and got scared and I'm ahh smarter and nicer than you are.
Yeah, it's the past and I have a guy's attitude with pursuing friendships with girls who were crazy to me by turning them into good friend status. It feels very good to me and like to do it. So yeah, I think you look good Michelle and I'm trying to work at being a bit more photogenic and it's not too serious to get over. I kept it short, I could have turned it into a novel to make you mad but nah, I'm just the type who likes to get over weird stuff in relationships and rebuild a better one from it. I'm not mad at Washington anymore; he's a dope but doesn't mean he isn't human and I also stayed a step ahead of him by luck, so yeah feeling good from that luck I had is enough to overcome the past. Here's something cute to end this with, if I ever meet another girl who reminds me of you, I'll treat her well.
Hey Michelle, this is [name withheld], the little guy (5'3") you blocked on Facebook! lol
Height doesn't matter because of your DMV license yeah I remember seeing that cute photo with your listed height and age. I was like hmm, nice seriously. It's a good thing that I'm scarier than you are while we were both mad at each other for stupid reasons. It's because I'm a nicer person. You had to go complaining to your good friends like Rosa about me. Yeah, I know and I don't care. Being straight up with you is the best move I got so umm, I guess you are hot for your age lol. You gave me very noticeable and enjoyable hugs, so yeah I get it. The truth is stupid and I'll tell you.
Washington was a total cuss word with me because he thought I was a terrorist and put a restraining order on me. I never went to jail while I got off of it, so at least I'm a safe and friendly terrorist if you think about it with my sarcasm. This means Washington is stupid and deserves me being mad at him because he couldn't handle his girly emotions from being a dude, which I expected out of him! I wanted to get a doggy bag and light it on fire after putting some of his dog's poop on it and ring the doorbell and then run for my life! Yeah, it's immature and got it from a movie. I wanted you to tell me where he lives, gosh dang it! I was so shy to tell you about my immature plan that you totally misunderstand me and turned into a jerk! Who cares because you're a girl and didn't get much out of it and got scared and I'm ahh smarter and nicer than you are.
Yeah, it's the past and I have a guy's attitude with pursuing friendships with girls who were crazy to me by turning them into good friend status. It feels very good to me and like to do it. So yeah, I think you look good Michelle and I'm trying to work at being a bit more photogenic and it's not too serious to get over. I kept it short, I could have turned it into a novel to make you mad but nah, I'm just the type who likes to get over weird stuff in relationships and rebuild a better one from it. I'm not mad at Washington anymore; he's a dope but doesn't mean he isn't human and I also stayed a step ahead of him by luck, so yeah feeling good from that luck I had is enough to overcome the past. Here's something cute to end this with, if I ever meet another girl who reminds me of you, I'll treat her well.
Saturday, September 16, 2017
Future Endeavors
I have a lot of cool projects that I want to complete, but I just don't have financial security for those activities. I don't even know if it's going to turn into a hit. I'm basically taking a risk for diving into them, but I'm so interested in going after it and want to make time for all of it.
First off, I really need to be well off financially before I can get there and I don't want to work for an investment company either. It all makes sense that becoming a professional investor on the side works for me without having to go through all of that licensing. I don't want the responsibility of managing other people's money. It's not even my dream! I just think that being wealthy from setting up this successful cash flow model for me will allow to have the freedom to do things that I wildly imagine. I would be a lot more comfortable giving $100,000 to organizations to conduct the Lord's purpose, for example. It would all fit in God's plan.
I guess whenever I have the chance I will. I don't have time to do everything, but I am seriously taking up this whole hobby with taking photos and trying to be decent at it. I'm no talented professional but it would be fun to share what I think is cool and putting my best foot forward while trying to study good photography in a natural state.
I'm seeing where I'm headed and it's really practically having no traditional job while making plenty of money with free time to do other cool fun projects that could be expensive and might never even be profitable. It would be fun to try though or to just make adjustments as needed to stay updated and improve.
Today's Plans
From now on, I'm really going to try to dedicate myself more to my schedule and adjust it for purposes of time management. One of my biggest obstacles is that I end up knocking out while slowing down late at night. If I can stay on the move until it's too late and by giving some effort to complete some plans then I think I'll be good. I need to be able to do this consistently and to review my options and goals.
I woke up unusually late today from messing with my own sleep cycle and being interrupted by my mom. I have a job and paying my parents rent which they don't need, so with the 800 dollars per month check I write out to my mom, she cashes it in the bank to invest into her savings account. Okay whatever! Where I'm living is really nice though, so I can't complain about having a family deal so it's one of the minor nuisances with my mom so if I put up with it this long, then it can't be really bad to keep it going for awhile until I at least find a nice and attractive lady to marry.
For my plans today, I'm just going to take some supplements, go for a run, drive back, load up a second serving of supplements, do some growing taller stretches, take a shower, do my face and hair with some products, read the Bible, get my car an oil change, get my eye brows trimmed, cash my pay check, load up software on my laptop, do a little research for a class, maybe lunch, hang out with my lady friend, and then from there, I'll give myself free time to do whatever. It's just that I want to double up with the hair, facial, and dental products with a rinsing shower first before I go to sleep.
My mind is currently addicted to learning about trading the markets successfully, so I'll be working at that too if I get a chance which I don't think is a bad thing.
I woke up unusually late today from messing with my own sleep cycle and being interrupted by my mom. I have a job and paying my parents rent which they don't need, so with the 800 dollars per month check I write out to my mom, she cashes it in the bank to invest into her savings account. Okay whatever! Where I'm living is really nice though, so I can't complain about having a family deal so it's one of the minor nuisances with my mom so if I put up with it this long, then it can't be really bad to keep it going for awhile until I at least find a nice and attractive lady to marry.
For my plans today, I'm just going to take some supplements, go for a run, drive back, load up a second serving of supplements, do some growing taller stretches, take a shower, do my face and hair with some products, read the Bible, get my car an oil change, get my eye brows trimmed, cash my pay check, load up software on my laptop, do a little research for a class, maybe lunch, hang out with my lady friend, and then from there, I'll give myself free time to do whatever. It's just that I want to double up with the hair, facial, and dental products with a rinsing shower first before I go to sleep.
My mind is currently addicted to learning about trading the markets successfully, so I'll be working at that too if I get a chance which I don't think is a bad thing.
Friday, September 15, 2017
Pretty Crazy
From all the lonely nights with masturbating to porn and having a job with enough money to treat out a girl, I'm still a virgin at age 34. I'm one year older than when Christ died while being married to no one. Well Jesus is God so God is technically immortally and forever not married to any of His creation with man. I'm just saying that because there is a Greek story about how Zeus fell for a human lady and from out of that, Hercules was born and the jealous wife Hera who tried to kill the baby. I thought it was cool to watch the 90s show dealing with the adventures of Hercules and how the creative team wrapped up the series by allowing Hercules to kill his dad Zeus out of self-defense to protect an innocent child who was born to end immortality of all the popular gods in that show.
I'm fortunate to have met and hang out with girls who want me to be in a happy and committed relationship. Like these girls in college are young and they have tried to set me up on the go with girls who are actually hot! One of them was telling me what to do, but I failed from having a headache after drinking some bottomless mimosas with friends. I didn't think that was going to make me feel like that and it was funny to hang out with more girls who were just acting wild with each other. I thought it was fun and didn't care at that point of how I looked.
I'm getting a lot better about overcoming my insecurity with being around taller women. I've been hanging with a taller Asian girl who occasionally hints at liking me more than just being a friend. Her personality is just like that, but it's also easy for her to be attracted to a bunch of other individuals. I might be a little too much on the adventurous side for her, but fortunately, I'm so chill about just sitting around while hanging out and chatting with each other. It's been cool to engage in some deep conversations with each other and even get to the point of talking about having relationships with other people. She's like a partner to me now.
I'm fortunate to have met and hang out with girls who want me to be in a happy and committed relationship. Like these girls in college are young and they have tried to set me up on the go with girls who are actually hot! One of them was telling me what to do, but I failed from having a headache after drinking some bottomless mimosas with friends. I didn't think that was going to make me feel like that and it was funny to hang out with more girls who were just acting wild with each other. I thought it was fun and didn't care at that point of how I looked.
I'm getting a lot better about overcoming my insecurity with being around taller women. I've been hanging with a taller Asian girl who occasionally hints at liking me more than just being a friend. Her personality is just like that, but it's also easy for her to be attracted to a bunch of other individuals. I might be a little too much on the adventurous side for her, but fortunately, I'm so chill about just sitting around while hanging out and chatting with each other. It's been cool to engage in some deep conversations with each other and even get to the point of talking about having relationships with other people. She's like a partner to me now.
Keeping It Simple
I ideally know the type of woman I want to marry and think a straight man would have to be stupid to not agree with me. She's gorgeous, really smart, and nice. I think those attributes along with her physical beauty pretty much sums it up for most single guys out there who are still looking for their mate.
Of course, with things being the real world, I don't think it always comes into play. Feelings of whether the girl is pretty, smart, or nice is always subject to change. Especially when it comes down to the thought of having to live with her for the rest of your life and commit to being a family.
That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with being single unless the person is feeling lonely. It would be cool to be unique like that and not have that loneliness from being totally into something else. I guess just picking a woman to be a partner based off looks and great qualities will make just about any average guy happy to be married to her. She's the wanted one and gets to choose the guy in other words, but if both the eligible and great guy and her get married, hey, it's the best of both worlds and no crazy ex will probably bug them if they seem really happy with each other!
I'm lacking just quite a bit and that subtle amount really can drop my standing. It's like the world's best athletes are only off by increments of a second. Using the analogy, when it comes to competing for the most sought after people, then yes, being off by even a little will get you cut. It's just the nature of the best but the strongest are probably those who come to accept it and keep on going and from being small in number when it comes to working hard for the final stage, it's basically cool to have got there. So yeah, my final stage of dating will be getting a girlfriend who happens to be hot, nice, and quite reliable!
Of course, with things being the real world, I don't think it always comes into play. Feelings of whether the girl is pretty, smart, or nice is always subject to change. Especially when it comes down to the thought of having to live with her for the rest of your life and commit to being a family.
That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with being single unless the person is feeling lonely. It would be cool to be unique like that and not have that loneliness from being totally into something else. I guess just picking a woman to be a partner based off looks and great qualities will make just about any average guy happy to be married to her. She's the wanted one and gets to choose the guy in other words, but if both the eligible and great guy and her get married, hey, it's the best of both worlds and no crazy ex will probably bug them if they seem really happy with each other!
I'm lacking just quite a bit and that subtle amount really can drop my standing. It's like the world's best athletes are only off by increments of a second. Using the analogy, when it comes to competing for the most sought after people, then yes, being off by even a little will get you cut. It's just the nature of the best but the strongest are probably those who come to accept it and keep on going and from being small in number when it comes to working hard for the final stage, it's basically cool to have got there. So yeah, my final stage of dating will be getting a girlfriend who happens to be hot, nice, and quite reliable!
Improvements
I really feel that there are a lot of improvements I can still make, even while it feels like I've reached a wall at this point. Probably one of the biggest things for me that I'm trying to resolve on my personal time is time management. How do I balance out relaxation and being comfortable with being active and adventurous? I honestly wish I was rich and a little better good looking, along with the tough spiritual journey I put myself through while trying to submit to the Lord.
It's okay though because I will try to use what I have to still develop myself at the old age of 34! I actually saw some really pretty photos of girls who are around my age, so my hope isn't complete lost.
It's okay though because I will try to use what I have to still develop myself at the old age of 34! I actually saw some really pretty photos of girls who are around my age, so my hope isn't complete lost.
Monday, September 11, 2017
Commemorating Today
It was definitely a tragedy today with what happened. I still remember how sad it was to watch the horrific event at the cafeteria in college. I still had a little bit of that bipolar stuff lingering around, so it hit me pretty hard. I remember the depressing feeling and can tear up right now over it, but I felt that Americans were stupid for saying there was going to be a World War III. Fortunately, it never happened and Bush led the country into the war on terror. I'm sure there's going to be opponents, but it looked like the majority of Americans were for it. I didn't vote for Bush, but then I had a change of heart and eventually, coming to my senses, I think it was the right thing for America to do.
Flash forward, I feel like I'm being inappropriate with posting my fantasy football scores and joking about my gay team I created today on Facebook without adding obvious cues like LOL or ROFL or HAHA. I am reminded of what I put today earlier and still laughing so hard about it to myself. I think I seriously disrupted someone out there because he or she is longer following me. I'm surprised that person didn't unfriend me; I deserve it, but then again, I do have a scary and respectable reputation if I'm able to make those smart aleck comments.
The cool thing about it is that maybe it was just too funny for today and with such a wonderful and positive emotion going around, the person was probably uncomfortable with feeling it being so inappropriate, but at the same time because of that effortless comment I made there and it being nothing wrong, I think the person was willing to still stay a friend but just break away from my feeds after all these years.
I have some tasks I really ought to complete, so I'll just go for the ones that I think I'll be able to complete while being the most accessible. I have a new drone that I'm working at flying which is cool. I'd like to go work out at the indoor climbing gym by taking their strengthening of the core class. I would also like to continue with my trading endeavor, which is turning out to be like a fun game for making money and being more accurate with pinpointing how the market is behaving. It's amazing with the tool I have stumbled upon and glad I gave it a chance. I also would like to read the Bible like study three chapters if possible, take a shower, do my hair and face, and growing taller stretches. I'll just leave it at that for today, but first I really ought to get a hair cut because it's awfully a little too long.
Flash forward, I feel like I'm being inappropriate with posting my fantasy football scores and joking about my gay team I created today on Facebook without adding obvious cues like LOL or ROFL or HAHA. I am reminded of what I put today earlier and still laughing so hard about it to myself. I think I seriously disrupted someone out there because he or she is longer following me. I'm surprised that person didn't unfriend me; I deserve it, but then again, I do have a scary and respectable reputation if I'm able to make those smart aleck comments.
The cool thing about it is that maybe it was just too funny for today and with such a wonderful and positive emotion going around, the person was probably uncomfortable with feeling it being so inappropriate, but at the same time because of that effortless comment I made there and it being nothing wrong, I think the person was willing to still stay a friend but just break away from my feeds after all these years.
I have some tasks I really ought to complete, so I'll just go for the ones that I think I'll be able to complete while being the most accessible. I have a new drone that I'm working at flying which is cool. I'd like to go work out at the indoor climbing gym by taking their strengthening of the core class. I would also like to continue with my trading endeavor, which is turning out to be like a fun game for making money and being more accurate with pinpointing how the market is behaving. It's amazing with the tool I have stumbled upon and glad I gave it a chance. I also would like to read the Bible like study three chapters if possible, take a shower, do my hair and face, and growing taller stretches. I'll just leave it at that for today, but first I really ought to get a hair cut because it's awfully a little too long.
Just Few Tasks After Work
I guess I have a large amount of goals I would like to do for fun, but I just need to utilize my time better. It looks like all of it is right underneath me without having to right out my personal schedule, which I'm not even living up to.
For the longest time, it's like right after work, I've been wanting to procrastinate doing everything and just focus on messing around with having fun at something. I was also tempted to regressing back to masturbating to porn, but I just didn't feel like wasting around thirty minutes doing my technique of holding back. It just didn't feel worth it for me, so that passed by for me. Having that technique down is nothing to really boast about for me. I don't know what it is with my sexual preferences in women, but it's just that even if I think a guy is good looking or has a great picture of himself, I just don't have any gay feelings for him.
So basically Tom Cruise and Brat Pitt are like meh to me if I think about my sexuality. I'm not gay. A good looking guy to me is that actor who plays Thor. I admire his muscles and want to build some for my body!
Okay with all of this digressing, I surely do want to work out my biceps and get stronger and sexy arms to show off with cool clothes that a lady friend picked out for me. She's actually very good at eyeballing casual clothes for men. Okay, I think I have myself a hangout buddy who will generously help me out like that and help me get some girls. I'm in luck from having this type of girl in my life!
I guess within time when it all factors, I will be able to marry, but first I need to my ditch my parent's home and pretty well-off independently without having to rely on them. My parents are very conservative and stupid about me marrying only a Korean lady. They are like it's fine that you are short to those tall Korean girls who are mostly going to be shallow like that with you, marry an ugly Korean girl, who cares. I'll marry a non-shallow hot girl who might not be a Korean, who cares?!
My parents are like oh you are a sick weirdo, get out of our house, I disown our grandchildren. I'm like, who cares?! If I enjoy some great sex in marriage to a super hot, Christian lady and am rich and healthy while putting Jesus first in my life, I don't really mind whatever my parents want to think. There you have it. My few impossible tasks to complete after work!
For the longest time, it's like right after work, I've been wanting to procrastinate doing everything and just focus on messing around with having fun at something. I was also tempted to regressing back to masturbating to porn, but I just didn't feel like wasting around thirty minutes doing my technique of holding back. It just didn't feel worth it for me, so that passed by for me. Having that technique down is nothing to really boast about for me. I don't know what it is with my sexual preferences in women, but it's just that even if I think a guy is good looking or has a great picture of himself, I just don't have any gay feelings for him.
So basically Tom Cruise and Brat Pitt are like meh to me if I think about my sexuality. I'm not gay. A good looking guy to me is that actor who plays Thor. I admire his muscles and want to build some for my body!
Okay with all of this digressing, I surely do want to work out my biceps and get stronger and sexy arms to show off with cool clothes that a lady friend picked out for me. She's actually very good at eyeballing casual clothes for men. Okay, I think I have myself a hangout buddy who will generously help me out like that and help me get some girls. I'm in luck from having this type of girl in my life!
I guess within time when it all factors, I will be able to marry, but first I need to my ditch my parent's home and pretty well-off independently without having to rely on them. My parents are very conservative and stupid about me marrying only a Korean lady. They are like it's fine that you are short to those tall Korean girls who are mostly going to be shallow like that with you, marry an ugly Korean girl, who cares. I'll marry a non-shallow hot girl who might not be a Korean, who cares?!
My parents are like oh you are a sick weirdo, get out of our house, I disown our grandchildren. I'm like, who cares?! If I enjoy some great sex in marriage to a super hot, Christian lady and am rich and healthy while putting Jesus first in my life, I don't really mind whatever my parents want to think. There you have it. My few impossible tasks to complete after work!
Few Added Changes
Okay, it looks like my bowling season is over now which is sad for me. I really wanted to utilize that $40 but it was fun while it lasted. I might as well just join a league if I ever get the chance to practice my chops and hopefully, things will get better.
Now it just leaves me with being able to visit a climbing gym and working out at a gym. I haven't been able to read the Bible in awhile from being totally distracted and my mind just zoning out while just sitting there and feeling a little tired. I think there's something I could seriously do about that.
Now it just leaves me with being able to visit a climbing gym and working out at a gym. I haven't been able to read the Bible in awhile from being totally distracted and my mind just zoning out while just sitting there and feeling a little tired. I think there's something I could seriously do about that.
Friday, September 8, 2017
Getting Better With Awareness
I'm becoming a lot more accepting about the past that angered me and it's eight years now or around there. It's amazing how young and stupid me and my church group was. I really have an advantage in that it wasn't that serious and the people there were unable to make an impact with me. It's basically no big deal, so I do naturally want to go back to be friends with them again. It's just what I like to do and think most of the people I have talked to about it these days are actually supporting me to go for it.
It's not really a topic I talk about so much anymore, but I just felt like writing about it because I'm realizing how naïve I was and thinking stupid about the incident. It's okay overall.
I did get to the gym at 12:30 am and got out of the shower after getting back at around 2 am. It felt actually really good to go to bed while feeling clean. It was a pretty awesome feeling and don't know why I haven't resorted to doing so all these years. I've also realized that I could just turn myself into a certified personal trainer because one of my main goals is really to get a six pack and be able to have proper nutrition anyway.
About the whole turning myself into a millionaire, I think I've caught onto something that really makes sense with watching the market and want to continue to develop in it. I'm going to keep it low key actually. I also really want to still have time with developing in virtual reality. I don't really see it as that much of a hassle for me, but something that would be neat because I do want to specialize in having fun with playing the video games that I end up making.
I guess my business model would be selling software that comes from hard work while doing the best I can to develop it that would be pleasing for the majority of the people and also myself. I naturally have high standards that consistently test my patience with burning out. Although it may take a long time, I just think it would be a lot of fun to develop with some brilliant friends and not just myself. I can see what it means to try to download stuff from really not having any means to go out and buy them, so I guess I'll settle for a loss of profit in that area if it does become that good.
It's not really a topic I talk about so much anymore, but I just felt like writing about it because I'm realizing how naïve I was and thinking stupid about the incident. It's okay overall.
I did get to the gym at 12:30 am and got out of the shower after getting back at around 2 am. It felt actually really good to go to bed while feeling clean. It was a pretty awesome feeling and don't know why I haven't resorted to doing so all these years. I've also realized that I could just turn myself into a certified personal trainer because one of my main goals is really to get a six pack and be able to have proper nutrition anyway.
About the whole turning myself into a millionaire, I think I've caught onto something that really makes sense with watching the market and want to continue to develop in it. I'm going to keep it low key actually. I also really want to still have time with developing in virtual reality. I don't really see it as that much of a hassle for me, but something that would be neat because I do want to specialize in having fun with playing the video games that I end up making.
I guess my business model would be selling software that comes from hard work while doing the best I can to develop it that would be pleasing for the majority of the people and also myself. I naturally have high standards that consistently test my patience with burning out. Although it may take a long time, I just think it would be a lot of fun to develop with some brilliant friends and not just myself. I can see what it means to try to download stuff from really not having any means to go out and buy them, so I guess I'll settle for a loss of profit in that area if it does become that good.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Spending Time Better
Okay, I'm reading awfully a lot about sports, so I think I could lay off of that a little to try to do other stuff. What's crazy is that I woke up at 5 am and took an hour to get ready for work. I'm trying to get to work at 7 and the drive in traffic takes about twice as longer so I do try to leave around 6:10 to get to work on time. I think I'll have to leave at 6 on the dot then just to be safe that I'll be at work on time everyday. I prefer to be on time to work like that besides just traffic killing me.
I do like that being 10 minutes early window. This is probably going to mean that I should really try to take showers before going to sleep. It's like right after I've done some work out, if I didn't sweat that hard, I'll just go straight to sleep. Yeah, I think that will save a lot of time in the morning by taking a shower at night, so I wouldn't have to worry about taking longer in the shower with it being really early.
I guess I could also still wake at 5 then to get ready and do whatever I want to get ready for the day by 6 and then leave. I think I could just make this a routine then. I'll have to try it out and see how it goes.
I do like that being 10 minutes early window. This is probably going to mean that I should really try to take showers before going to sleep. It's like right after I've done some work out, if I didn't sweat that hard, I'll just go straight to sleep. Yeah, I think that will save a lot of time in the morning by taking a shower at night, so I wouldn't have to worry about taking longer in the shower with it being really early.
I guess I could also still wake at 5 then to get ready and do whatever I want to get ready for the day by 6 and then leave. I think I could just make this a routine then. I'll have to try it out and see how it goes.
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Managing Time
My time management is yet messed up a little again. I guess I'll have to try again then. Hopefully, I'll get it down. Anyway, I just have this confidence that if I just keep looking then eventually land on the woman I'm looking to marry. However, I don't expect it to be such a big spectacle for me. I don't think I'm physically attractive to women, but I'll just keep on trying to improve myself all around.
It would be better for me to just be happy and stay healthy with a whole lot of time to do stuff. During that time, I could just try to make a girlfriend then. I don't know, it's just going to have to take awhile. I'm definitely getting used to not worrying about not having anybody to date. Well, one of the things that makes it easy for me to get over it is that it's easy for me to find fault with a girl. It's one of those things that I just put up with anyways, but at the same time, might feel some sense of relief from not actually dating her.
It's just a bunch of these contradicting complications going on for me that I haven't really tapped into yet. Overall though, I'm learning to deal with it. Just maybe someday, I might be able to land a gorgeous wife.
It would be better for me to just be happy and stay healthy with a whole lot of time to do stuff. During that time, I could just try to make a girlfriend then. I don't know, it's just going to have to take awhile. I'm definitely getting used to not worrying about not having anybody to date. Well, one of the things that makes it easy for me to get over it is that it's easy for me to find fault with a girl. It's one of those things that I just put up with anyways, but at the same time, might feel some sense of relief from not actually dating her.
It's just a bunch of these contradicting complications going on for me that I haven't really tapped into yet. Overall though, I'm learning to deal with it. Just maybe someday, I might be able to land a gorgeous wife.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Doing the Best I Can
I figure with my mindset these days, I'm just going to do the best I can do and give myself to keep on improving with hard work. I want to be really committed to be successful at something that will grant me the type of independence I'm looking for.
I'm back into trying new things now and having fun with it. I think the most difficult for me is just running my schedule along with making room for some unexpected things that I also want to take care of.
Yeah, definitely I feel weird at times and tired or even dreading what I have set out in my mind to do. I've found out keeping my mind occupied by playing simple games is helping me stay happy in some way, but I'm just not being satisfied with the results. There's something going on with me that I'm trying to tap into. I know the potential is there for me, even though it feels like I'll be training for a marathon daily.
I mean it's cool for people out there to be better than me now and even if I think they were born with something I wish I had too. I guess I'll be chasing after them by working hard to be a tad more consistent with myself. I might as well just keep searching, building, and then enjoying as much as I can get in this world.
I'm back into trying new things now and having fun with it. I think the most difficult for me is just running my schedule along with making room for some unexpected things that I also want to take care of.
Yeah, definitely I feel weird at times and tired or even dreading what I have set out in my mind to do. I've found out keeping my mind occupied by playing simple games is helping me stay happy in some way, but I'm just not being satisfied with the results. There's something going on with me that I'm trying to tap into. I know the potential is there for me, even though it feels like I'll be training for a marathon daily.
I mean it's cool for people out there to be better than me now and even if I think they were born with something I wish I had too. I guess I'll be chasing after them by working hard to be a tad more consistent with myself. I might as well just keep searching, building, and then enjoying as much as I can get in this world.
Not Losing Heart
I think one of my more developed traits is that I'm not really feeling sad for any of my failures anymore. I think it's embarrassing and all of that to be found out on, but I'm not that worried about that these days. There's really nothing I can about it anyway. I'll just try my best to improve myself.
A main thing I'm seeing with myself is that I'm still procrastinating by doing other things to keep myself entertained. It's probably better that I control myself there even though I know it be fun and save it for another time. Time is something that I feel like I don't have on my side that often anymore and it just feels like I'm not able to do everything I want in life.
I'm really trying to make myself more efficient while feeling weird about doing something I know I ought to be doing, basically. At least I can keep on attempting and seeing if I can improve myself. I just don't really mind that much. It's one of those I'll eventually get it with a lot of things.
A main thing I'm seeing with myself is that I'm still procrastinating by doing other things to keep myself entertained. It's probably better that I control myself there even though I know it be fun and save it for another time. Time is something that I feel like I don't have on my side that often anymore and it just feels like I'm not able to do everything I want in life.
I'm really trying to make myself more efficient while feeling weird about doing something I know I ought to be doing, basically. At least I can keep on attempting and seeing if I can improve myself. I just don't really mind that much. It's one of those I'll eventually get it with a lot of things.
Oh Well
I don't think I'm good looking and tall enough to ever marry happily to someone beautiful. It's pretty shallow for me to think about being attracted to looks anyway. I'm starting to not worry so much about appearances anyway though. I think my lack of confidence is probably from not thinking my looks are that great, but I figure I could offer quite a bit to the gene pool too.
It's a lot of contradictory thoughts going on for me. With lady friends messaging me voluntarily these days, I'm just wondering how it might really be just a matter of time before I land on someone beautiful, attractive, and nice. Who am I kidding? I'm just half-way there still and need to dedicate myself a bit better to keep climbing my way up.
It's a lot of contradictory thoughts going on for me. With lady friends messaging me voluntarily these days, I'm just wondering how it might really be just a matter of time before I land on someone beautiful, attractive, and nice. Who am I kidding? I'm just half-way there still and need to dedicate myself a bit better to keep climbing my way up.
Saturday, September 2, 2017
Keeping Myself Productive
I have no problems with keeping myself occupied by doing entertaining stuff that practically consumes my time. I don't think this is helping me at all by a long shot because I'm realizing that at the age of 34, my time just gets used up and when the day is over, I'm feeling sheepish about how I could have used my time.
I really do want to spend my time wisely and I think it has to all start with myself before I go try to find a lovely partner to marry and engage in wonderful sex! I'm laughing at the thought of that, but yeah, practically, a girl who happens to be a Christian also with sexual feelings and is a bombshell type, I guess I'd be happy to struggle with focusing my energy on God more than that person. It would be fun to have balance in my life with Jesus leading the way while including love.
Yeah, I know Christianity offends some people. I think what's important to me is that there's a genuine relationship with Jesus that I'm seeking after, especially after what he represented. From that big book called the Bible, I think it's inspired and as time permits, I would love to research more on the pros and also take a look into what the leading criticism is. I'm not just going to be a blank book about my faith. As time permits and as my mind gets out of the funk with procrastinating and trying to stay healthy.
I really do want to spend my time wisely and I think it has to all start with myself before I go try to find a lovely partner to marry and engage in wonderful sex! I'm laughing at the thought of that, but yeah, practically, a girl who happens to be a Christian also with sexual feelings and is a bombshell type, I guess I'd be happy to struggle with focusing my energy on God more than that person. It would be fun to have balance in my life with Jesus leading the way while including love.
Yeah, I know Christianity offends some people. I think what's important to me is that there's a genuine relationship with Jesus that I'm seeking after, especially after what he represented. From that big book called the Bible, I think it's inspired and as time permits, I would love to research more on the pros and also take a look into what the leading criticism is. I'm not just going to be a blank book about my faith. As time permits and as my mind gets out of the funk with procrastinating and trying to stay healthy.
Procrastinating
I'm realizing that my mind is procrastinating but feeding itself the right kind of thoughts. I just need to act out on them more often. I think my belief in God really plays a huge role for me. The oaths that I have made with Him are huge and I don't intend on breaking them. However, I was smart enough to not make an oath where it will limit my freedom or anything. In a way, the oath actually helps me out in more ways and gives me time to settle for a conflict that I'm angry about.
The Bible is something I truly hold close to my heart and will guard until the end of time when it comes to having sex. I'm saving it for marriage and like on a useless quest to find an attractive girl with right personality to marry. I don't even want her to have a big age gap either. I guess if we look cute to people, then it will be hard to pass up on.
The Bible is something I truly hold close to my heart and will guard until the end of time when it comes to having sex. I'm saving it for marriage and like on a useless quest to find an attractive girl with right personality to marry. I don't even want her to have a big age gap either. I guess if we look cute to people, then it will be hard to pass up on.
Thursday, August 31, 2017
Things To Improve On
Well, I'm starting to see that I need to get back into working out regularly and I'm just letting my money waste by not taking advantage of it. Timing is so important and I need to factor that in. I really do want to get some better upper body strength so indoor climbing is the way to go for me. I guess it's one step at a time and adding on as time can permit and to work at creating more time to do stuff that interests me practically.
You know, it actually does feel good to hug one of my Asian lady friends. I actually can get hugs from two out of four of them now regularly. It's a 50% success rate so far. The other two well, I don't know. One of them just says "Bye" in an almost awkward manner and just takes off after hanging out. She enjoys laughing too, so it's quite interesting to get a half-hearted hug from her. It's like she's interested in taking the next step. I'm like whatever.
I would really like to improve on my countenance and become more camera friendly. It would be fun to just hang out and take nice photos while looking good and also feeling great in the process of staying clean and healthy.
Basically, as much as I can handle daily without losing valuable time. I'm starting to actively count by minutes now of how I spend my time. I know that five minutes of doing something I'm interested in can seriously make a difference for me. Sometimes, I'm so engaged and having fun that I'm too selfish about letting that activity go and when I force myself to let go, I feel out of place. I guess that's what people do to me in that it feels like they are dragging me into some things.
Anyhow it's cool and I've been trying to mediate of my activities and will my mind to push my body forward into doing my priorities without just sitting there and waiting for myself to awkwardly shutdown at night. I just need to get into the motion and be consistent with it and manage my time wisely. It's all of this consistency with discipline and knowing what it is that I'm going for. I'm so willing to take chances like gambling my money reasonably (not everything but a little and to the point, I'd still have money to pay bills) on a business that I've been interested in.
You know, it actually does feel good to hug one of my Asian lady friends. I actually can get hugs from two out of four of them now regularly. It's a 50% success rate so far. The other two well, I don't know. One of them just says "Bye" in an almost awkward manner and just takes off after hanging out. She enjoys laughing too, so it's quite interesting to get a half-hearted hug from her. It's like she's interested in taking the next step. I'm like whatever.
I would really like to improve on my countenance and become more camera friendly. It would be fun to just hang out and take nice photos while looking good and also feeling great in the process of staying clean and healthy.
Basically, as much as I can handle daily without losing valuable time. I'm starting to actively count by minutes now of how I spend my time. I know that five minutes of doing something I'm interested in can seriously make a difference for me. Sometimes, I'm so engaged and having fun that I'm too selfish about letting that activity go and when I force myself to let go, I feel out of place. I guess that's what people do to me in that it feels like they are dragging me into some things.
Anyhow it's cool and I've been trying to mediate of my activities and will my mind to push my body forward into doing my priorities without just sitting there and waiting for myself to awkwardly shutdown at night. I just need to get into the motion and be consistent with it and manage my time wisely. It's all of this consistency with discipline and knowing what it is that I'm going for. I'm so willing to take chances like gambling my money reasonably (not everything but a little and to the point, I'd still have money to pay bills) on a business that I've been interested in.
Increase of Girl Count
I've been averaging hanging out with three Asian girls and they are decent looking too! Basically, they aren't fat and have some of that goodness quality that people like in ladies. I now have added on another Asian girl to hang with now. Instead of three, it's now four! Sometimes, it can be up to eight Asian girls that I'm hanging out with from the last couple years.
It seems like God is making me avoid hanging out with Korean girls. It's like God gave me a chance with them and I screwed up so it's "Baby, bye. Bye. Bye. I don't want to be a fool." If my little sister counts for hanging out which I don't and a few incredibly cute and pretty cousins also which I don't count, then I guess I don't really hang with Korean girls.
I've hung out with a co-worker's Korean daughter and she's cool and nice. I don't really respond to her and don't care that much even though she's actually pretty hot. I'm thinking she has a boyfriend already so I'm like whatever.
It seems like God is making me avoid hanging out with Korean girls. It's like God gave me a chance with them and I screwed up so it's "Baby, bye. Bye. Bye. I don't want to be a fool." If my little sister counts for hanging out which I don't and a few incredibly cute and pretty cousins also which I don't count, then I guess I don't really hang with Korean girls.
I've hung out with a co-worker's Korean daughter and she's cool and nice. I don't really respond to her and don't care that much even though she's actually pretty hot. I'm thinking she has a boyfriend already so I'm like whatever.
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Within Reason, I Believe
I have commenting privileges on this blog shut off and only for one reason, it's because when I was gunning for responses, I got nothing most of the time. I figure it looks silly to see zero comments all the time because I tend to go re-read my recent posts often. I like to get a good laugh at the stuff I write so I am intentionally trying to write in this type of manner just for entertaining myself.
From trying to write in a more structured and comprehensible approach, I'm seeing that it's really benefitting me a lot. I see that my flaw is that I will leave out a few critical details that seems like a really-easy implied thing to do, but just gets missed. It can get annoying because I find myself having to put things on halt to backtrack again for a little bit. A common mistake I've noticed with myself is that right after I barely leave my neighborhood, I remember that I need to drive back to the house to pick up something. It's something I beat myself up over every once awhile. I don't literally hit myself, it's a figure of speech.
Going off topic to talk about my figure of speech, I actually have smacked myself in the head many times for losing concentration in elementary school out of frustration while studying. I would start crying. I think my dad ended up doing it for me, and I hated him for doing that. I really feel like beating up my dad these days because of that memory I'm not so fond of.
One thing I have been so worried about was losing my intelligence from whacking myself so much from the shock. It's actually true in that one really can lose some of that natural intelligence.
A friend's brother fell off a two story building after the rooftop collapsed while he was going after retrieving his favorite toy. It left a head injury where surgeons had to reconstruct his skull with a metal plate at the age of around five or six. After that incident and thankfully surviving, his thinking pattern was a bit slower and he felt for the longest time because of that one mistake, he was destined to be a failure academically and never fully recovered from losing both will and IQ power!
My friend's brother is fully grown up and his highlight to me is that he will sound like he is talking his own language when he is angry and start blurting out comments that I can't make out while shouting. It's funny to endure, until he lets out his vexing and high-pitched laughter that pierces my ear and arouses my own anger. He does it because he finds the response very entertaining and just doesn't care about life at that point. He's in a position where he feels secure to let out all that anger and continuously do it everyday while feeling like he is the best at fulfilling his own mission. The saying for him is true in that it goes, ignorance is bliss.
From trying to write in a more structured and comprehensible approach, I'm seeing that it's really benefitting me a lot. I see that my flaw is that I will leave out a few critical details that seems like a really-easy implied thing to do, but just gets missed. It can get annoying because I find myself having to put things on halt to backtrack again for a little bit. A common mistake I've noticed with myself is that right after I barely leave my neighborhood, I remember that I need to drive back to the house to pick up something. It's something I beat myself up over every once awhile. I don't literally hit myself, it's a figure of speech.
Going off topic to talk about my figure of speech, I actually have smacked myself in the head many times for losing concentration in elementary school out of frustration while studying. I would start crying. I think my dad ended up doing it for me, and I hated him for doing that. I really feel like beating up my dad these days because of that memory I'm not so fond of.
One thing I have been so worried about was losing my intelligence from whacking myself so much from the shock. It's actually true in that one really can lose some of that natural intelligence.
A friend's brother fell off a two story building after the rooftop collapsed while he was going after retrieving his favorite toy. It left a head injury where surgeons had to reconstruct his skull with a metal plate at the age of around five or six. After that incident and thankfully surviving, his thinking pattern was a bit slower and he felt for the longest time because of that one mistake, he was destined to be a failure academically and never fully recovered from losing both will and IQ power!
My friend's brother is fully grown up and his highlight to me is that he will sound like he is talking his own language when he is angry and start blurting out comments that I can't make out while shouting. It's funny to endure, until he lets out his vexing and high-pitched laughter that pierces my ear and arouses my own anger. He does it because he finds the response very entertaining and just doesn't care about life at that point. He's in a position where he feels secure to let out all that anger and continuously do it everyday while feeling like he is the best at fulfilling his own mission. The saying for him is true in that it goes, ignorance is bliss.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Plans
I guess I'm falling asleep around maybe 10 or 11 at night so I might as well just plan how I'm going to do this. It's pretty much dinner right after I come home. Lately, I've been also doing some bowling from buying a season pass. It's like the best $40 I spent this year. It comes with three games and shoe rental which would be closely around $10 so considering how I've tried to go everyday from two months ago, yeah I'm bowling a lot better than I used to be.
I guess right after dinner, I could suit up in my gym clothes and just try to work out with a full tummy after waiting around twenty minutes. I'm thinking I will just shuffle between gym time and indoor rock climbing from having a membership to both. I guess that won't hurt then otherwise just getting myself really sore from trying to kill my muscles!
After that, I could wash up and finish up my facial products that I've been neglecting to get rid of my acne scars. I also have this growing taller book that has stretches and believe me, nobody believed me when I told him or her about it. I only grew 1/2 inches from using that book at the age of 26. Only 1/2 inches, yes and it took like 6 months of stretching daily. It was boring and I only squeezed out 1/2 inches before giving up. I'm going to try it again and get some short girls who are passed their growth to join me.
Let's see after applying that growing taller scam where I grew only 1/2 inches with it while having passed my growing stage at age 26, I'll work on doing some fast paced Forex trading. I want to be a billionaire someday so bad! Yeah right, I'll be happy with just a salary of one million a year. Just? Yes, you heard that right.
Lastly, while I'm tired I'll read the Bible and a great commentary that acts like I'm reading a sermon to put myself to sleep. If I'm still awake, I might as well mess around with playing the piano and guitar or just save that for the weekend. I can also mess around with trying to cook late at night while half asleep, if I refuse to go to bed.
In summary, right after work, I have dinner, working out, facial products and growing taller scam, learning to trade Forex for attempting billionaire status, and lastly reading Bible with any miscellaneous stuff to put myself to sleep. It's about ten things or less to do.
I guess right after dinner, I could suit up in my gym clothes and just try to work out with a full tummy after waiting around twenty minutes. I'm thinking I will just shuffle between gym time and indoor rock climbing from having a membership to both. I guess that won't hurt then otherwise just getting myself really sore from trying to kill my muscles!
After that, I could wash up and finish up my facial products that I've been neglecting to get rid of my acne scars. I also have this growing taller book that has stretches and believe me, nobody believed me when I told him or her about it. I only grew 1/2 inches from using that book at the age of 26. Only 1/2 inches, yes and it took like 6 months of stretching daily. It was boring and I only squeezed out 1/2 inches before giving up. I'm going to try it again and get some short girls who are passed their growth to join me.
Let's see after applying that growing taller scam where I grew only 1/2 inches with it while having passed my growing stage at age 26, I'll work on doing some fast paced Forex trading. I want to be a billionaire someday so bad! Yeah right, I'll be happy with just a salary of one million a year. Just? Yes, you heard that right.
Lastly, while I'm tired I'll read the Bible and a great commentary that acts like I'm reading a sermon to put myself to sleep. If I'm still awake, I might as well mess around with playing the piano and guitar or just save that for the weekend. I can also mess around with trying to cook late at night while half asleep, if I refuse to go to bed.
In summary, right after work, I have dinner, working out, facial products and growing taller scam, learning to trade Forex for attempting billionaire status, and lastly reading Bible with any miscellaneous stuff to put myself to sleep. It's about ten things or less to do.
Thursday, August 24, 2017
Getting Back On Track
Okay, I'm having a little too many off nights or that's how it feels like. I figure from having these 'many' nights where I think about my life and where it's leading to, it's about time that I developed some winning habits.
There could be at least 10 things that I would like to accomplish daily. If I'm lucky enough, I can get through three of them on average. I'm just going to have to be dedicated to it then no matter how tired I am.
What Sarah Michelle Gellar once said in her youth while playing Buffy the vampire slayer or starring in random movies is to keep on going, until you drop dead! That's precisely how I feel I need to be going at the old age of 34.
Yeah, I act a lot more silly than I do for my age. I guess when I'm mad and going on full onslaught with randomness and silliness then the person I'm doing it to messed up big time and is going to feel stupid because the situation is likely not that serious anyway and I'm just letting out what I'm feeling while I'm aware of what I'm doing. I don't really want to yell at anybody because I hate being yelled at or told off for something not that serious and feels one-sided. I might have to yell just to let the person know what I'm capable of doing and that I'm making an effort to befriend because this is in my Christian genes.
My personality carries the gift of mercy for some reason and just enjoys being at peace even over arguing about stupid things and while being still angry. I get angry from being told off for a situation that isn't serious and doesn't deal with something personally. I try to hold it in though and be nice about it which is hard considering that I'm furious and trying to make fun of the person and being offensive while sounding nice at the same time. So I'm practically this little guy going on a silly tirade which can be offensive while trying to be a winner of the argument. Overall, I'm just not going to base it on feelings of uncertainty nor fear anymore, but more about what I desire with others. What I'm looking for is just a basic friendship if the person I'm dealing with is too stupid to be my friend over whatever selfish issues they end up developing with me.
I'm pretty much in position these days with age, experience, and reading skill level to take it to another level of dedication and to go where I want to go.
There could be at least 10 things that I would like to accomplish daily. If I'm lucky enough, I can get through three of them on average. I'm just going to have to be dedicated to it then no matter how tired I am.
What Sarah Michelle Gellar once said in her youth while playing Buffy the vampire slayer or starring in random movies is to keep on going, until you drop dead! That's precisely how I feel I need to be going at the old age of 34.
Yeah, I act a lot more silly than I do for my age. I guess when I'm mad and going on full onslaught with randomness and silliness then the person I'm doing it to messed up big time and is going to feel stupid because the situation is likely not that serious anyway and I'm just letting out what I'm feeling while I'm aware of what I'm doing. I don't really want to yell at anybody because I hate being yelled at or told off for something not that serious and feels one-sided. I might have to yell just to let the person know what I'm capable of doing and that I'm making an effort to befriend because this is in my Christian genes.
My personality carries the gift of mercy for some reason and just enjoys being at peace even over arguing about stupid things and while being still angry. I get angry from being told off for a situation that isn't serious and doesn't deal with something personally. I try to hold it in though and be nice about it which is hard considering that I'm furious and trying to make fun of the person and being offensive while sounding nice at the same time. So I'm practically this little guy going on a silly tirade which can be offensive while trying to be a winner of the argument. Overall, I'm just not going to base it on feelings of uncertainty nor fear anymore, but more about what I desire with others. What I'm looking for is just a basic friendship if the person I'm dealing with is too stupid to be my friend over whatever selfish issues they end up developing with me.
I'm pretty much in position these days with age, experience, and reading skill level to take it to another level of dedication and to go where I want to go.
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Creating Fun Routine
Now I'm realizing how fun it truly might be to stick with something and make plans with all the available resources. I guess learning to let things go has been really hard on me, but to be able to do it a lot better than before, it has been better to say the truth.
I really didn't feel any passion with my last few positions at work, so I was really limited. These days I'm feeling the joy and capacity of going after it. I'd really like to have enough stability to leave my company someday and be able to go do other stuff while making money through trading successfully.
I really didn't feel any passion with my last few positions at work, so I was really limited. These days I'm feeling the joy and capacity of going after it. I'd really like to have enough stability to leave my company someday and be able to go do other stuff while making money through trading successfully.
Making Plans Again
Well, for the time being, I would really like to focus on trading a technique that I have come to believe works great! I'm pretty much just trying to do repetition with reading up on stuff and hopefully that will be enough working knowledge someday to lead myself into a profitable path.
It's really simple for me. I just want to work on my own and not really have to report to a typical job. I would rather make a lot of dough while having a lot of down time to make myself available to do stuff and also give to deserving charities.
I'm grateful for web search to offer clubs and meetups with other locals. It would be fun to be a very fit and healthy person while having a lot of great friends to occupy myself with and to also have time to cook and work on other cool projects that I would enjoy doing.
It's really simple for me. I just want to work on my own and not really have to report to a typical job. I would rather make a lot of dough while having a lot of down time to make myself available to do stuff and also give to deserving charities.
I'm grateful for web search to offer clubs and meetups with other locals. It would be fun to be a very fit and healthy person while having a lot of great friends to occupy myself with and to also have time to cook and work on other cool projects that I would enjoy doing.
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Coming To Calmness
From being friends with girls, I think girls in general can be crazy every once in awhile. It's great to still hang out with girls and be friends with them because they can be like the coolest to hang with. Female friends can be really helpful with being accepting and encouraging sensitive feelings to be let out and pitch in with a more harmonious flow of things.
I myself have become a lot more tolerant to preferences with who the eligible girl wants to date. I'm open with having a supportive role for her and would think it's cool if she does maintain a happy relationship with a great guy. For myself, I guess I don't really know how to respond to a girl's interest that well. I would like to be mainly genuine and stay cool with people as best as I can.
Yeah, what really ticks me off is being ganged up over something that isn't serious but has been escalating on its own while I've been trying to be cool about it and attempt to defuse it without me going into shout mode. From conclusion though, it's not that serious anyway and I'm fortunate they really didn't influence me in any way or make some sort of impact like I did to them. They were the ones to act out in their own silly accusations with me and couldn't take it that far with me. I really have something to be grateful about then.
I myself have become a lot more tolerant to preferences with who the eligible girl wants to date. I'm open with having a supportive role for her and would think it's cool if she does maintain a happy relationship with a great guy. For myself, I guess I don't really know how to respond to a girl's interest that well. I would like to be mainly genuine and stay cool with people as best as I can.
Yeah, what really ticks me off is being ganged up over something that isn't serious but has been escalating on its own while I've been trying to be cool about it and attempt to defuse it without me going into shout mode. From conclusion though, it's not that serious anyway and I'm fortunate they really didn't influence me in any way or make some sort of impact like I did to them. They were the ones to act out in their own silly accusations with me and couldn't take it that far with me. I really have something to be grateful about then.
Being Acceptable
I think if I lose friends on Facebook now then if I want to make some more then I might as well just put myself out there to do so. It's been really cool to have a fairly good ground with female friends. They can be like the funniest and coolest bunch sometimes. It's a little different because of some possibly perceived sexuality from being straight. I mean I'm really comfortable with just being friends if the girl is really pretty and I like her for who she is a lot.
I guess just being plain okay is fine and working hard at something to earn a decent life is just dandy and a blessing from God that a person can maintain. I'm just a layman and not called to be any pastor. I totally know that. I don't really have that gift for being a pastor and it just doesn't really appeal to me that much to pursue. I do appreciate the pastors a lot though who really go out of their way to serve the Lord and His sheep.
I guess just being plain okay is fine and working hard at something to earn a decent life is just dandy and a blessing from God that a person can maintain. I'm just a layman and not called to be any pastor. I totally know that. I don't really have that gift for being a pastor and it just doesn't really appeal to me that much to pursue. I do appreciate the pastors a lot though who really go out of their way to serve the Lord and His sheep.
Cursed By Height
I personally feel that by being only 5' 3" and pretty old now like at 34 and still no wife, I guess I'm just in the path for making myself into forced monk. I mean I have a friend who hopes that I make a good girlfriend. Even my uncle, parents, and people around me talk about me getting a girlfriend.
I just feel like the biggest reason why I can't get a hot girlfriend is because of my height. Maybe the hot girl is a bit shallow and with me wanting to date one, I just don't fit in her requirements so I'm like screwing myself over. I guess my appearance just doesn't really fit in a girl's preference.
I think it's all fun now though, so I'd like to switch over to sharing cool and charismatic stuff and things to work hard for to look good naturally. Basically, I'd like to try my best at all accounts and keep on improving and making myself better. It's just about making routinely my best effort without losing heart. My psyche does feel a whole lot better to say the truth.
I just feel like the biggest reason why I can't get a hot girlfriend is because of my height. Maybe the hot girl is a bit shallow and with me wanting to date one, I just don't fit in her requirements so I'm like screwing myself over. I guess my appearance just doesn't really fit in a girl's preference.
I think it's all fun now though, so I'd like to switch over to sharing cool and charismatic stuff and things to work hard for to look good naturally. Basically, I'd like to try my best at all accounts and keep on improving and making myself better. It's just about making routinely my best effort without losing heart. My psyche does feel a whole lot better to say the truth.
Thursday, August 17, 2017
Becoming Stronger Mentally
From actually resisting my urges to look at porn, I'm now realizing how much more I'm able to stand things better with my friends. It's a lot of unspoken selfish issues underneath and it really can tick anyone off for whatever reason, but from just holding back and willing to be glad in an unselfish or loving manner, it's really helped me out in putting together my relationships with people.
I honestly don't really mind just being friends with hot girls. I happen to be friends with a few already, I guess. It's cool and I would probably feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment if they did come onto me to say the truth. I'm still developing as a person while I go and getting proper encouragement from these hot girls so it helps a lot that they are my friends. I'm actually really indifferent about the thought of getting into a relationship with them.
I honestly don't really mind just being friends with hot girls. I happen to be friends with a few already, I guess. It's cool and I would probably feel a bit uncomfortable at the moment if they did come onto me to say the truth. I'm still developing as a person while I go and getting proper encouragement from these hot girls so it helps a lot that they are my friends. I'm actually really indifferent about the thought of getting into a relationship with them.
Planning Forward
I think I'm totally onto the whole trend line thing for trading any stock chart properly, along with using candlestick patterns for confirmation of a trend or support or resistance area to look out for. This method has been really sticking out for me. It's really adapting to any type of market situation. I guess I'm seriously going after the whole long term deal and not really looking at the charts so I'm setting up an acceptable profit level to go with my stop out.
This is starting to become a pretty fun thing to do for me and don't mind turning it into like a mindless routine with a whole bunch of complicated analysis to go with it in a few minutes each day. I'll be happy with making an income of just a million dollars a year. Yeah, people are like "Just?" How is that even imaginable while working underneath for someone?
I'm going for something that I'm sure everybody wants. It's making a good load of money while not having to really do anything. It's just the setting up part that is hard and can hurt sometimes. I guess if one truly goes after something he or she craves in the imagination and longs for it while willing to work hard for it naturally, then it's just a matter of like connecting the dots!
This is starting to become a pretty fun thing to do for me and don't mind turning it into like a mindless routine with a whole bunch of complicated analysis to go with it in a few minutes each day. I'll be happy with making an income of just a million dollars a year. Yeah, people are like "Just?" How is that even imaginable while working underneath for someone?
I'm going for something that I'm sure everybody wants. It's making a good load of money while not having to really do anything. It's just the setting up part that is hard and can hurt sometimes. I guess if one truly goes after something he or she craves in the imagination and longs for it while willing to work hard for it naturally, then it's just a matter of like connecting the dots!
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Formulating Plans
Basically, my big three really has been working out, trying to study the Bible ultra fast everyday, and working on making profitable trades in a financial market. From looking at other opportunities out there, I'm not really interested in working under somebody with a normal 8 to 4:30 shift. I want to basically do my thing and I think I have the chance from being a programmer. I think the main reason I work under somebody right now is so I can save up and pay some bills and work at my craft of practicing to become a better investor that I have in mind of becoming. One of my pitfalls that I see as a blessing sometimes could also be a curse, so I don't know why I labeled it as a pitfall- I'm confused. Anyway, online poker has been something I have dabbled on for trying to earn a living while passing my time and working underneath anyone. Yet the only challenge that I seem to hate about poker is that it isn't easy to consistently make money while gambling with other great players. I have been finding myself in that predicament a lot with poker and it's like almost long hours too while sitting there and waiting for that big pot to arrive while conserving chips and taking small risks.
I guess overall because of the length of time that could be spent on it and walking away with nothing sometimes, I just don't like that feeling after having tried to play poker for years now and win at this game. On the flip side with doing stock investments, if I lose, at least I don't have to stare at the numbers crashing and if I'm going to fall then might as well go out big while partying with the millions I have left. Jokes aside, I think investing with a long term focus and not actively being at the charts like being that lame poker player I was at a table for long periods of time would be a better trade off for me.
I'm convinced that playing online poker in general while having nothing to do will mean that I've done really something bad to my time management and needs fixing. Hey if I win at online poker and having a run then I'm coming back and pretending that my time management needs fixing. After losing though, I definitely need a new make over with my time management. That is pretty much my trend and it's funny but true. From realizing that effect, I guess it's only made possible because of my confidence without needing to fap and use porn.
I guess overall because of the length of time that could be spent on it and walking away with nothing sometimes, I just don't like that feeling after having tried to play poker for years now and win at this game. On the flip side with doing stock investments, if I lose, at least I don't have to stare at the numbers crashing and if I'm going to fall then might as well go out big while partying with the millions I have left. Jokes aside, I think investing with a long term focus and not actively being at the charts like being that lame poker player I was at a table for long periods of time would be a better trade off for me.
I'm convinced that playing online poker in general while having nothing to do will mean that I've done really something bad to my time management and needs fixing. Hey if I win at online poker and having a run then I'm coming back and pretending that my time management needs fixing. After losing though, I definitely need a new make over with my time management. That is pretty much my trend and it's funny but true. From realizing that effect, I guess it's only made possible because of my confidence without needing to fap and use porn.
Planning Accordingly
Well, with a cool and attractive girl, I'm hanging out with her by flying together to go on cool and romantic hikes. It's all for fun and she's a friend. She's definitely a "girl" friend who I'm not dating. She doesn't have a boyfriend either and is like very career minded so I got a whole bunch of chances if I still wanted it. I'm just thinking positive for laughs. The thing though is that her friends thought once I was her boyfriend when I popped up on her Snapchat. I was like "I'm cool and honored to be thought of that way."
She's cool and hot I guess, but I'm just in the mind for hanging with her. It's fun to do that with common interests. I don't really feel that sexual with her though even with me not being gay. Maybe I have tastes for a different type of woman. I don't know, it felt like she was thinking about coming on to me a little but I've said no before in the past a few times with other two hot girls. People are like "Why?" I'm just very picky and didn't realize I had some game back then.
She's cool and hot I guess, but I'm just in the mind for hanging with her. It's fun to do that with common interests. I don't really feel that sexual with her though even with me not being gay. Maybe I have tastes for a different type of woman. I don't know, it felt like she was thinking about coming on to me a little but I've said no before in the past a few times with other two hot girls. People are like "Why?" I'm just very picky and didn't realize I had some game back then.
Staying On Track
Well, one of the good things I've noticed for myself is that my scheduling is always subject to adjustments and I move accordingly with it. Listing the things that I was going to accomplish yesterday, I didn't really finish it all and had to leave some that I deemed were excessive while it was getting late. I might have to move a little quicker to finish my tasks then to get the things I'm looking for out of the way for the day. I listed giving myself free time in the end, but became carried away for about thirty minutes that felt like an hour collaborating with a cute girl that I'm working with. Yeah, she's cool and my traveling companion. We go places together and hang out and it's like people haven't asked us if we're together or anything. I have been asked by people with girls I'm hanging with and isn't that hot but she just happens to look good.
Maybe it's something in their faces that give people the message that we're dating or not. I guess but maybe those girls like me and I look good hanging with them so it probably makes sense for people to think we're dating. With the girls that people think are hot, those people don't really ask if we're together. It could be out of skepticism from thinking about how short I am. It's an interesting dynamic though in contrast to hanging with a girl who is less attractive naturally but just happens to have put on make up and try to put on some good clothes and she actually looks good in some sense.
Maybe it's something in their faces that give people the message that we're dating or not. I guess but maybe those girls like me and I look good hanging with them so it probably makes sense for people to think we're dating. With the girls that people think are hot, those people don't really ask if we're together. It could be out of skepticism from thinking about how short I am. It's an interesting dynamic though in contrast to hanging with a girl who is less attractive naturally but just happens to have put on make up and try to put on some good clothes and she actually looks good in some sense.
Humor With Imagination
I've been mad with people all this time because I've been trying to be nice approaching them and only for them to respond to me in a rude manner. It's funny now that I think of it and I'm laughing about it because I can use my imagination with how to deal with them realistically now in the future. What helps a whole bunch is that I've realized the situation isn't that serious and it escalated itself which is also funny now that I think of it.
I mean I'm mad about their rude behaviors and still get bothered by that to this day and it's something that I will also naturally have a hard time dealing with from others. Yet, the situation isn't that bad now, and I was just laughing to myself quietly how I could yell at them like a drill sergeant and influence a positive change with them.
I mean I'm mad about their rude behaviors and still get bothered by that to this day and it's something that I will also naturally have a hard time dealing with from others. Yet, the situation isn't that bad now, and I was just laughing to myself quietly how I could yell at them like a drill sergeant and influence a positive change with them.
Posting Something Gross
It looks like I'm making a natural effort now to stay away from masturbating to porn because it's all in my confidence with my sexual ability to pleasure my future spouse. It's really been just rooted in that all this time. I guess I was in a dreamy state because from avoiding masturbation and viewing stimulating material, I'm also naturally getting aroused and turned on by thinking about realistic situations with my close "girl" friends. After awhile, I'm like nah, there's a reason for me seeing her as a friend.
Anyway, that was natural I guess and it's funny to talk about on a blog so I don't mind the attention it brings for others who'll accept it as something normal for passing the time. I ended up practicing my technique while humping the bed though and that's pretty embarrassing to admit, but after that I was like, nah I'm not that in the mood for continuing. I didn't end up blowing my load after not having masturbated for weeks now. Yeah, it's just passing by easily for me. The longest I've gone without doing it has been 9 months.
From reading up on some health-related stuff, it looks like it's natural and healthy for the guy to experience hardening while sleeping. I even dreamed at least once that I was viewing porn and trying to keep myself from blowing my load. I succeeded by the way from doing my technique. I'm thinking one of these days I would be able to associate that good feeling without making it an accident if I wanted to. Again, nothing to truly boast about.
Anyway, that was natural I guess and it's funny to talk about on a blog so I don't mind the attention it brings for others who'll accept it as something normal for passing the time. I ended up practicing my technique while humping the bed though and that's pretty embarrassing to admit, but after that I was like, nah I'm not that in the mood for continuing. I didn't end up blowing my load after not having masturbated for weeks now. Yeah, it's just passing by easily for me. The longest I've gone without doing it has been 9 months.
From reading up on some health-related stuff, it looks like it's natural and healthy for the guy to experience hardening while sleeping. I even dreamed at least once that I was viewing porn and trying to keep myself from blowing my load. I succeeded by the way from doing my technique. I'm thinking one of these days I would be able to associate that good feeling without making it an accident if I wanted to. Again, nothing to truly boast about.
Considering Spending Time
Well, it looks like I had a lot of fun with my physical activities. I'm actually doing them by myself mainly and having tons of fun with it. It is technically working out while being around people and reserved about it. I'm also observing how people do things sometimes and trying to match them or outdo them while practicing by myself.
I don't really mind with basically not being good at the stuff I'm working at. It's healthy and fun and hopefully as an enthusiast, I'll make great use of it someday. If not, the attempts were worth it and it's better than nothing to me. It's also fun, so I don't really mind with looking like a loser and not that great. What I'm noticing for myself is that I'm reinforcing a behavior of practicing tons of repetition all by myself. I think putting that type of work into is really vital for success. I guess I'm working out while treating it as a hobby and I'm just reaping an active mind and staying energetic from it.
I don't really mind with basically not being good at the stuff I'm working at. It's healthy and fun and hopefully as an enthusiast, I'll make great use of it someday. If not, the attempts were worth it and it's better than nothing to me. It's also fun, so I don't really mind with looking like a loser and not that great. What I'm noticing for myself is that I'm reinforcing a behavior of practicing tons of repetition all by myself. I think putting that type of work into is really vital for success. I guess I'm working out while treating it as a hobby and I'm just reaping an active mind and staying energetic from it.
Managing Time
Seriously, I'm trying to make it happen now and put it all together without doing too much down time activities. A good thing that I have noticed is that right after working out and combining it with some Herbalife supplements, I'm gaining a lot of powerful energy and feeling really awake.
The key really is to burn calories from having fun and doing high intensity work outs. My protein intake is probably at its bare minimum right now because I'm favoring more cardio, but it looks like from trying to do muscle endurance workouts, I actually might need a bit more protein than I would from just focusing on muscle building to recover. It's actually a two edged sword because I can also take less from not doing heavy muscle building.
It really comes down to balance and knowing your body. I guess I'll just stick with somewhere in between and be happy with the trade off, so I'll just average the minimum and maximum recommended intake and try to reach there to keep it safe. I'm just a fitness enthusiast and not worried about competing with others to make a living. I have something else in mind for that.
The key really is to burn calories from having fun and doing high intensity work outs. My protein intake is probably at its bare minimum right now because I'm favoring more cardio, but it looks like from trying to do muscle endurance workouts, I actually might need a bit more protein than I would from just focusing on muscle building to recover. It's actually a two edged sword because I can also take less from not doing heavy muscle building.
It really comes down to balance and knowing your body. I guess I'll just stick with somewhere in between and be happy with the trade off, so I'll just average the minimum and maximum recommended intake and try to reach there to keep it safe. I'm just a fitness enthusiast and not worried about competing with others to make a living. I have something else in mind for that.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Making Better Usage of Time
I'm getting cravings all the time like playing video games, viewing porn or trying to find a woman to marry and have sex with, work out, and do really cool stuff with friends. Right now, I'm just trying to make the most of it while commending Jesus as number one in my life.
I just have a lot of planning to accomplish and won't be easy but I hope it does me good in the end.
I just have a lot of planning to accomplish and won't be easy but I hope it does me good in the end.
Trading Success
I've found out that using trend lines and candlestick patterns are assisting me tremendously with reading the market charts. I was able to target where I wanted to get out the market to set an acceptable risk to reward ratio.
I guess I'm just going to continuously keep on reviewing those two topics. It's a lot of reading and totals over 500 pages with many hours of video instructions. That's the only way I see myself getting better by just repeating myself with reviewing the material daily and practicing it.
With the Bible though, it's obviously a lot of pages so I think I can only afford to read a few chapters and try to study it daily. I'm using Dr. Vernon McGee's commentary of the Bible which reads more like a sermon on the verses. It really preaches a lot about stuff that's going on in this world and I really can sense the Holy Spirit was moving when they were written. Overall, it really does influence me and I don't really worry about it. I'm also open to looking at other reigning views or theories because obviously, God hasn't revealed everything to us in the Bible. It just doesn't get that easy, but still to get the blessing of the Word and live it out is amazing. I don't know how to explain it because I'm not really called to be a pastor, but just a hardworking layman.
I guess I'm just going to continuously keep on reviewing those two topics. It's a lot of reading and totals over 500 pages with many hours of video instructions. That's the only way I see myself getting better by just repeating myself with reviewing the material daily and practicing it.
With the Bible though, it's obviously a lot of pages so I think I can only afford to read a few chapters and try to study it daily. I'm using Dr. Vernon McGee's commentary of the Bible which reads more like a sermon on the verses. It really preaches a lot about stuff that's going on in this world and I really can sense the Holy Spirit was moving when they were written. Overall, it really does influence me and I don't really worry about it. I'm also open to looking at other reigning views or theories because obviously, God hasn't revealed everything to us in the Bible. It just doesn't get that easy, but still to get the blessing of the Word and live it out is amazing. I don't know how to explain it because I'm not really called to be a pastor, but just a hardworking layman.
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