My Current Mind Situation

I'm thinking too much to myself. I'm sometimes talking to myself, which I should really try to limit. I think I also occasionally get a runny nose with blood squirting out one side of my nose because there's like a weak scab on it. I think the reason why I keep getting it is because I boxed with a friend once and he kept on my punching my nose and then all of a sudden I had blood coming out of my nose, and I lost like a cup full of blood that day. I think my heart was just ongoing with blood pumping because it was excited from the adrenaline flow and everything. So, I was a pretty bad writer at the time and did not know what in the world I was doing, and everybody considered it to be normal. That's a nice analogy for me to express now.

I'm really thinking about coming back to that church which messed up with me. I think I'll come back to the church after the restraining order is put off, which comes off by default in about 2 years. I really don't care if they want to put another restraining order on me. I'm not going to go near them again and won't problems doing that, if the court imposes that on me again. Supposedly, it would like putting me on double jeopardy if they were to try to incriminate me again in the court of the law. I would also be inclined to file a harrassment claim against them as well too. Not being nervous and being honest for me seems to be taking me a long way in this situation. The advantage belongs back to me and always will. Also, the more they do those sort of actions, the more they are going to look bad and I will ensure that comes out because I'm just being a little random and not caring. I'll have my satisfaction with mainly the head pastor there, which I'm pretty sure will be around if the church is still in existence. If the church goes bankrupt or something, then maybe I'll put some money into it and see if some local believers would like to worship there freely! Either way, I'm happy to just express myself in an honest manner with anybody at that church and not care if they view me as a jerk. I'm just going to be like whatever there and not care and just push it and don't care any more further. I can make people look bad if they respond to me back or not, so it really does not matter how they act. They already acted bad and continue to act bad so that makes it easy for me to make them look bad, if they do nothing about it or justify themselves. I'm going to be continuously improving myself and being happy so I'm not worried.