Wow I'm Normal Sexually?

Okay, I do not like writing this on my blog but my commitment to be honest is what is making me put this down. This is the area that feels the most embarrassing to me. I will never talk about this in person-to-person directly so I'm writing it to mainly release my level of distraction. This is something that I will probably be avoiding for future references now. I'm also really good at keeping secrets. I'm just leaving myself out in the open because I just want to do this honesty thing with myself on the internet. Right after I urinate, I still have a little clear fluid that leaks out of the main head of the penis. I'm not sure what it is but supposedly it's a fluid that is responsible for flushing out the fertile areas.

I read up on how semen can also look a little yellow and that it's very normal because it can be that type of color. I think it's the lighting supposedly that could give it that color. I orginally thought it was a mixture of semen and urine. I wanted to see what the color of my semen was and wanted to see if there was anything wrong with my body. Based on googling some answers, it seems like the male fertile system is really versatile no matter what goes on underneath there, except for conditions of testicular cancer. It just felt like my body was turning weird from living a life of celibacy which means restraining myself from masturbating as well. I'm at fault with overreacting sexually with myself because I feel like I want everything to be normal and also be prepared for that good moment. I still am going through those personal rites with myself and I'm trying to find some closure with it. Maybe it's just a lack of confidence in myself that I'm trying to deal with. Maybe, it's a little bipolar attitude from not understanding myself yet. I have no clue, but whatever the hindrance is, I'm going to become absolutely sure of myself and continue giving my homage to repentance for God.

I think sex is best described with a married couple, as it's related to the Bible. Sex is not just used for procreation of life but also recreation because God meant it to be absolutely good! Anything apart from putting sex in marriage, the Bible describes it as evil and those types of practices should be stopped. This means to me in general not masturbating as well or idolizing pornography. There seems to be some type of special attachment that I used to have. I no longer have it and think everything about me is absolutely normal now. I just need to go puruse after growing in my faith with Jesus from studying the pages of the Bible now.