What I'm Glad About

Over the last year and a half, I'm recalling the church-related fiasco that happened with me dealing with Hope Church of L.A. I mainly felt some difficulty with the leadership and I think some of these individuals who wanted to carry out as a leader placed the leadership as an idol above God. I think they looked to themselves more than what Jesus what would have wanted. As a result, they fell short and made themselves the idol and did not put Jesus first. This is how I wanted to portray myself, in wanting to place God's principles first, while being in attendance with this church. It was a little obscure at first, but thinking about it for a long time and now reasonably laughing about everything that happened even while nobody really does when I reveal it, has put my life into a different and greater perspective.

I guess I'm a lot stronger now and more confident about revealing everything and not really worry about negative things that are going to happen with me anymore. If that's where it's going to head for me, then I'm going to accept it now. I'm not going to put up a nasty scowl over it and do nothing that wouldn't solve it. I guess I have an irritation that drives me to communicate better sometimes, and I should just lead myself to try to laugh about the situation more and lighten up; this irritation also puts in a better situation of concentration so even though it's uncomfortable for me, it's something that's always going to be a part of me and something that I won't ever confuse into being so much bad anymore.

Overall, I'm so glad that I was playful with a girl named Betty Lam on facebook =) - that I said I was going to chase after her, but I added her to a poem where it was supposed to be for only one girl and it was unfortunately negative. Honestly, I really did not want to be sexually attracted to Annie Tran and it was annoying me so much underneath, but I managed to get it off my system when she revealed she was engaged and I heard it through Carlos Julio. Betty personally was really friendly with me still and had a little confusion which is considerably normal for women to go through sometimes. She would get so frustrated when I was not communicating right with her. I think she looks mainly at a person's heart and not what they are on the outside and that makes her unique, despite all the experiences that she openly shared. I think Betty can come along as a strong believer in Christ and be so vivid as a person and genuinely be there to try to courageously touch other people's lives. I know what I'm saying now because I had so much practice writing on this blog. I guess even if I still feel occasionally frustrated with Betty, I won't really mind to be mindful to her and say what I really need to say. That was one of Betty's ring tones one time and I remember it so well. Betty also talks a lot too man. She referred to a song once about how this guy who was a little bit of an idiot with me wrote this song that mocked that trait about her. Even though I don't really have that much viable interest in marrying Betty, I'm going to say that she's hot!