If I become a self-made millionaire with a six-pack, like it's my dream that I have a hard time trying to live because of my addiction to playing MAGIC THE GATHERING (!). If I can end that insanity of destroying people's decks after sleepless nights of making a destroyer deck, I'm going to pull up at that church on my motorcycle. I'll be polite, they have a driveway for God's sake! I won't park on there, just to be courteous and get towed away because that would suck. I'm going to engage myself in a yelling match where they don't yell back (aha!) and then say I don't want to wait for the cops to arrive and then just leave out of being bored of having to wait. Even if they show up, I'll tell them it's too late with the confrontation and that I'm willingly going away because it's funny to me!
The safety word for them will be an act that the preacher has to do. He has to unblock my g-mail account! Of all people, a pastor blocked me from trying to make fun of him with stupid messages. What a weirdo and so funny that no one should be around him anyway. Oh well. He has to unblock my account and then add me as a buddy on his g-mail profile, all in one setting. One day at a time because it's going to be super hard and annoying for him. He's also a dude and taller than me too. What a stupid person in general to walk this Earth.
After he does this, I'm going to constantly trash him with messages. If he blocks me, then the process starts all over again. I don't care about bothering the other imbeciles at that church. I'll leave them alone, but only do this to that pastor alone. If he's gone and it's that other stupid guy taking over for him, then hey, he's the preacher dude. He's going to be quiet a lot with me and probably feeling great for me doing what I'm doing. He's a little gay, actually!
I imagine myself taking months to warm up to him with my silly and stupid act of walking in, telling him off, saying that I'm bored of waiting for the cops to come over, and then leaving. I might even be telling off the ushers in the beginning who want to be stay away from the church because they don't know any better. I'm going to be pulling in with my motorcycle (5-star safety rating, hoping yeah right!) for coolness and gas efficiency and then driving off with it right away.
I'll one day walk in with a darth vader suit and mouth off the pastor and shine my lightsaber and do a front-ward flip in the air and land on my feet and then say that his service isn't worth sticking around for and leave! Watch, this may all come true and will be so fun and enjoyable for me while I'm settled down with a very cute, lovely, and really attentive in a good way wife (hopefully, have my fingers that are imaginatively in my heart crossed).
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
