Manning Up

After being so used to myself and not trying to just stress myself out with getting things done, I have a totally new approach which is actually trying to enjoy what I'm getting myself into. I don't have those really high and proud expectations for myself anymore. I've also grown past that. To really let myself down and try to ignore it afterwards isn't really that good.

So now it's time for me to put all of this together and get my act straight together. One of the things I've literally have done is letting my mouth go really foul and saying dirty things while no one is around. It's in my ingrained nature to not curse with bad words when people around. When it's just by myself and I put myself through some uncomfortable thoughts, then my mouth can just start running off in a bad way. I would really like to fix this if I can.

I want to live a pure spiritual life even when I'm not around people. I would like to not even have to look at porn ever again if that's even possible while I'm not married and yearning for a good wife to have some great sexual contact with.

Wow this blog is really turning into more adult oriented themes now and I've been trying to keep my mouth shut because I'm worried about little kids reading this site. I don't want to be influenced in bad direction. Are they really that smart to understand what's going on and capable of handling it? I'm going to have assume that if they have the maturity this understand what I'm writing here, then I'll let it be permissible.

I'm not going use swear words even though I do reluctantly in private. I've heard from people a couple times apologize for saying curse words and offending anybody. I just choose not to use it in my vocabulary, even though practically all my friends do say a curse word or two. They even like to deny it they don't use those words sometime! Actually from being around other Christians, it's been nice in that they choose not to. A have a few acquaintances who are true Christians to begin with. I'm trying to live purely as one of them, even though my heart is convicted in the beliefs of Biblical Christianity.