I'm able to see my own lazy feelings before coming back home to my parent's house after work. It's like having this strong feeling of wanting to relax and munch on snacks while watching entertaining T.V. shows. This all sounds normal right? I'm sure it is but it doesn't satisfy me. I believe that I'm capable of doing so much more. It's really interesting how I'm always around friends who say they want to accomplish something, but never get around to doing it so well. In a way, it irritates me to think about it, but I can't really hate myself at the same time for being that way too sometimes.
I guess I'm crazy then because I don't really want to be a normal and lazy human being right after coming back home from work. I want to work double time and get some big muscles with gorgeous abs and do some big-time things just like any boy with nice ambitions would. To put in the effort, it's quite hard and from being a person trying to do too much it's going to be overwhelming and make him want to give up. From giving up, it makes it harder to be a happy person but working harder sometimes might not be the solution when all it needs is a smarter approach.
This is where I believe the rule of smaller portions can apply. I had a dumb roommate in my first year of college living outside my parent's home. They insisted on paying for my living and to just focus on studying and don't worry about getting a job. I really didn't understand why they told me to do this because it made me very lazy in my thought process. My mom said to get a girlfriend, but I struggled from lack of self-confidence and didn't have a job. I didn't feel good about mentioning how I'm a poor student to people and it just didn't sit well with me. Anyhow, I think my parents didn't want me to have thoughts of ditching them right after college and making so much money if I became successful. This is probably why they helped me out with some selfish intentions. They probably also did this because they wanted to feel like they are great parents and to demonstrate no one else can support me so much. Yeah, they were a little worried about their future and maybe didn't want to be put in a retirement home and no one to really come visit them.
Back to the rule of smaller portions with a former dumb roommate. He believed in going all-out and making himself sore all over. It didn't last long and he stopped. I believe a person should start off with something smaller and gradually build it to have the endurance for doing so if he chooses. For example, a lady might be able to lift only about 10 pounds and hold it while walking around with it for long periods. If she decided to work out with 15 pounds, she will be able to lift it but not that much longer but on a good day, she will maybe lift 30 pounds only once. Eventually, with some dedication, she is able to reach 20 pounds and can move around 15 pounds all over the place if she desired. In this fashion, I believe a person should work out like this and gain some huge muscles. Imagine starting out with being a normal-sized guy who can comfortably lift and move around 50 pounds and then increase it to 150 pounds with the same ability while having some bulging biceps for people to admire! This is what I'm precisely going after.
I think I just want to feel so accomplished with my high standards so I can have the self-confidence and when it does happen someday, I will be able to relax and take on a beautiful marriage. It just might be so late for me though because I'm like 15 years behind schedule in my thought process. This is how things turned out for me and I just held myself back, so in that manner it will be sad for others to find out about this if I'm able to reach happiness in what I've wanted out of my myself. I probably could have married a bit sooner, if my parents were more open-minded and didn't influence me on who I should marry and also always acted more chill when money was a little tight. I'm one of those who just didn't and have always been a little skittish about winning in a popularity contest anyway. I think my parents are being incredibly selfish in that they want to feel proud for what they accomplished in raising me from all the hardships they faced.
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
