I'm realizing how I'm being really dumb by trying to fill up a void feeling with more things that leave me feeling empty. I think the best way to get through it will be pretty much to turn to Jesus in those situations and find things to do to keep me occupied and happy. For me to get to the state of finding a wonderful woman to marry, I believe I'm going to need to be first happy about the most important things with myself and enjoying my single life. By doing so, if it just happens that I fall in love with a woman then it was totally fate. More and more, I'm not really relying too much on appearances to be a deciding factor in a relationship.
There's probably one pet peeve of mine when it comes to finding a girlfriend. I don't really like her being mentally unstable occasionally and start cussing. Those girls are straight up supposed to be my friends even though I may still love them to death. I guess finding personal satisfaction through hard work even without getting any visible approval from the majority is something I have come to accept. It's because I'm a guy and quite a bit of people could be thinking I'm smart and lazy or something negative about me. Oh well, I'll still work on being nice because I try to be accommodating and peaceful with everyone including those idiots from my past.
Yeah, a lot of this starts out with honesty and acceptance and then moving towards consistency and self-improvement. The stressful emotions are like a negative discharge of energy which could be fueled by doubting personal happiness or just not having obtained a goal yet which puts pressure on you to turn lazy. What are your goals and what do you want to value in life?
Academy of Scrappy Credible Undergraduate Desire
