Dee dee Random

I'm just having fun typing something on my blog today. I'm just having lots of fun and want to continue having fun doing this just for good laughs personally. I am glad that I am not in trouble with writing on this blog. I am glad that it's so great that words can be designed in a clever manner to hurt others but it's wrong to do that for a selfish purpose. I should be very careful of my adrenaline because I can pick up on things and point them out that really offends people. I heard that people by nature don't like to hear bad stuff about them in person. It's hard to deal with this sometimes because they go through stuff and sometimes want to be ignorant. I can sometimes see that by being a better person you can make others around you calm down. By bossing them around by yelling, it works for me since I'm this short guy who comes across as pretty smart but can be really sweet and nice but I don't really want to do that. I want to be consistently cool about it and open to hearing about their blunt issues. Haha.

Exception Rule

Hi, I think I'm typing another post because I'm so good at making sentences. I pretty much want to be blunt about these weird situations that occurred to me. I don't want to come across as a really bad person, but I guess I should not really impose this on people because it's like really bad for their health to hear it. If you would really to hear my really bad side then might as well drop me an e-mail and ask about my evil nature. You may be surprised of who I am and what I will admit to and also downplay for the sake of wanting to be peaceful and not offensive to others. As time goes on, I will find that connection that makes sense with people. I will admit that on an account that I won't admit I have dropped a lot of impudent and daring comments. These people don't really know me and they just pretty much make even more ruder comments which is a lot of fun. They pretty much hit the thumbs down key and the worst I've had is like -30. Must be someone who just spends their hitting their button on my comment because they think it's fun or it could really be people who thought my comment was stupid or whatever in their testosterone driven thing. Don't get me wrong, my comments may be most of the time, but most of the time it only seems to offend a little bit of people. Probably because of its lack of relevance and basically making myself laugh and not to them.

Hello

Hi, I'm just typing something as usual. I guess I can spend time on this blog because I just like to write and I should show that I could be consistent and that I'm a safe person. I can be really blunt now since this is my blog. There are some things I still don't want to talk about for the sake of protecting people's interests. I would not want the complication of people coming up to me and saying that I damaged their reputation because I was not careful and put something on here.

Disadvantages of Playing Online Poker

This post is just something I'm creating because poker seems to be getting more popular these days. Let's assume that money is more priority than just fun and that the person is making it full time. Let's also assume that the person is really poor and has average talent, along with no sponsors really to cover the costs of getting blanked by a gambler, which they refer to as sometimes a donkey.

1. It can be addicting.

2. There is an up and down spread in your winnings. You'll maximize your chances of winning at any given moment but then something comes swooping down and says no to your hard effort and thought given into it. They mention this as getting beat by a two outer or that 1 card you know won't pop up actually appears. This is where people have been known to throw tantrums because they don't want to accept what poker players call a bad beat.

3. Since you are poor, you could get so energetic and carried away with the cheap sit and go tournament also referred to as a SNG. After a hard hour of reading people's cards mentally, you can just rake in a small measly 2 bucks, or a 100% return on investment.

4. People can play so random and be deceiving. It's like sometimes they don't want you to call but place a huge bet. This is also known as bluffing. There are other times when you want people to call but your calculations of how much to put in is inaccurate. This is also known as out-betting or under-betting a value bet.

5. It just makes you feel sorry to get kicked in the rear by another player. You can still place an online note on the tab which poker sites provide you with that he does not know how to play and just got lucky. Yeah, ignoring the fact that he took all your chips.

6. It can get your mind off of important and more natural things like having sex with your spouse or from coming to the dinner table and making up excuses to stay at the computer.

7. Everyone is a winner and loser. It is the worst oxymoron ever, and this one player still thinks he can outlast them all. His excuse for getting knocked out is that they all play really inferior to him. He has won the most championships so maybe he has a point.

8. It's ultimately with a skill set that involves anticipating if a person has a better hand than you. This can be used and totally annihilate you versus other people if you are not a winner in the first place. Like you could start carrying more guts and really make things worse for yourself by being stuck in this psychological arrogance that should be avoided or gut wrenching decision that should be done which could mean life or death.

9. Maybe there's another passion that needs to be fed but the gaming is interfering with your life. No offense with all the professional players who made it big. They seriously mastered the complex system and world of chaos that involves just a deck of playing cards. They have it pretty unique and can be pretty laid back people with fans.

10. It can seriously be a rough sport. It is not for everyone and probably some would not even try it and be conservative which is okay. It is sometimes a peculiar experience because it's hard to gauge where the sweet spot is.

I've outlined ten reasons with some filler statements. Maybe going on this ride is an unnecessary experience.

Haha

I guess I'm doing okay so far today and mentally I'm pretty sound. I'm just on my own and really being lousy with myself right now. I think I can be funny if I want to be and that can help in establishing relationships again. I think I'm fine and nothing is wrong with me.

Eventually It's Going to Click

One of these days, I am going to give up all the bad habits I'm doing and become that person I really want to be deep down inside. No hard feelings with anyone and no resentments with people. I am really brave enough to bring up the topic now and lead the way with any problem someone has with me. I really want to avoid falling into temptations and following the pack. I just do it because I am inspired by Jesus in my life. I managed to get a 3 day trial membership at a YMCA yesterday. Not much of an accomplishment, but looking forward to checking out what I could do at a gym to get fit and healthy.

I'm so poor and will eventually get that job and protein in my body to make me stronger. The active part of me is going to initiate. I am truly okay and wherever I am at, I will make the most of it and worship God after praying for forgiveness. I'm going to feel much better if I get consistent in doing what my heart truly would be content with. I'm going to work on myself first and take my time without hurting myself. I want to love others and to do this, I'm going to have to spend time modeling my life after a loving Savior who is ignored very often in people's lives.

Blueprint to riches+optional fun at work Version 1.0

I'm just going to write this in case someone would like to try out my ideas of wealth. This could potentially generate $300-$500 per day or maybe a lot more with low maintenance once set up right. I am going to share what I know to reward that special someone, if he or she decides to use these things. This is pretty much free information given by me. I have tried other things too but I think these things that I'm listing have the most potential in raking cash with lowest money to gamble. Expect to gamble some money and to put in some time. I'm pretty much laying it all out because I might be as well be useful and encourage others to contribute their wealth for helping out people they want to care about.

For the first six, just google for it. Only one of them has been verified by me to work really well and is marked.

1. Blackmask
2. Google Assassin
3. FapTurbo
4. TradingFromHome.com *
5. Google Payload
6. Adwords Miracle

For the next two, focus on placing ads in the right magazines. It can get a little tricky and will take experimentation. Basically, the magazine or periodical must specifically be related to the product that the intended readers would be interested in. The periodicals will vary for all locations. I would say try searching online or go to a library to search for placing these related ads.

1. Magic Kids (Liquidated Children's Clothing)
2. Ecoquest (Ozone Layer Creator Air Purifiers)

This next option deals with buying stock options. Basically the most profit is made during a upward or downward trend in the stocks. It basically takes advantage of dramatic change of an economic situation.

1. Optionetics

I have come across an organization that focuses on top-notch service with real estate. You can practically search a database where professionals will manage the home for you and give you some residual income. You just place a down payment on the home and then rent it out to someone. You just provide the financing and then a group of professionals handle the management of renting out your new home. They also provide classes that are taught by some of the world's best real estate professionals.

1. Noveu Rouche

I also know how you can get a 120 K job. Get an I.T. degree and then get certified in the networking field. Basically search for popular Cisco certifications (CCNA, CCNP, CCIE, and CCDP) in Network Engineering careers and also Microsoft ones (MCSE and MCSA). If you get a lot of these certifications you'll definitely land a job in this huge job market. It is growing daily in jobs because the internet is practically being used everywhere and things going wireless relate to this I.T. field. Take this option, only if you see yourself having a passion doing this line of work. If you would like to take a managerial role then maybe a MBA with technological emphasis might be useful.

Optional fun

1. Start an e-bay related business that deals with drop shipping (google this for some programs).
2. Get some coaching to set up an online business website - Omni Business Solutions (*risky and pricey)
3. Work at a radio station that gives you air time that you can pay for or get sponsored for it - ARN in Hollywood...(managable to fit any 24 hour block)

Try to keep to a minimal amount of time if you like this stuff:

1. Playing online poker
2. Mystery Shopping

Do more of exploring your options and discover what you are into. Make room for lots of hobbies if you are still single and waiting on your love life before your new family or spouse becomes your new number one priority.

Side Note:

If you want to develop some pride in health terminology, become a Medical Transcriber. Google for "School of Medical Transcriptionist" or "MT Professional". There are some fees to pay. I only recommend this if you want to be an enthusiast. There is a job offer if you graduate into a professional. You get paid approximately 11-13 an hour but get to work at home and set up your own hours. I might just do only one hour and read up on health a lot to be a useful person for others, as just a hobby.

Hits and Misses

I don't really know someone who would really want to waste their time with me reading all my posts. I guess I'm just doing this for myself. I tend to like to write and then let others do what they need to say. I'm starting to understand that relevance to the the topic is very and highly important. It could make you come across as a mean and dumb person if you do not speak on the topic. Sometimes you could act a certain way to give the other person an impression about how you feel about the situation and then be like I don't know where I need to change. That's quite a funny impression and can seriously leave your opponent flustered and feel totally alienated from you. Once you know all the facts, which I have now through reasonable accounts and opening myself up to different possibilities in the life of others, I'm really starting to feel that someone was being dumb about this situation and caused me only a little pain. They receive a lot more pain than me so maybe it's best to relent for awhile and confront this dumb person and literally read his mind on the spot just to scare him because I don't care if he wants to put a restraining order on me now. A man putting a restraining order on me makes me think that maybe he has a feminine side that he does not know how to control very well. I'm seriously okay with receiving it again from this person. He's probably not going to file against me because I may seriously have this gritty lock on him that makes him feel really bad and locked up horrendously. I'm getting these threats of having the cops come directly to me from not directly threatening them which is an amazing feat that I don't even know how I even accomplished.

Fair Attempt

I believe that when someone does something to you like a personal decision that you do not agree with, it's okay to mention how others can see it as an issue. It requires some sacrifice, and I think discussing about your suspicions in a nice way with others around really helps a lot. It could equate a little bit into humor. Basically, what I'm talking about is that my sister decided to put me on her block list on Facebook. I think what I can say around others effectively with my sister are just three things. 1) Others could probably see this as an issue. 2) I care to listen to her personal issue because I'm just that type of person and because she does not want to talk about it, she's dismissing something that she could not be resolving with me. 3) I can jokingly ask if she is trying to have me avoid pursuing after her.

I think this is the method I've been searching after this whole year; however, my adrenaline really got in my way and I took an approach that felt unnatural because I did not want to come across as a very stressed out person who yells basically half the time I'm around here when she's by herself and not around others. It's like doing a guerrilla attack where you end up yelling at them while keeping your distance and when others show up, you just stay quiet and act normally. I guess it's effective because it's similar to how a Drill Sargent will get to you and make you cooperate; he basically cares about your well-being and wants you to stay away from being too stubborn and going defective. Hmm, I have never thought about how a short guy like me could do that sort of nasty stuff to slightly unattractive girls like my sister and these other ones who also put me on their block list. I corresponded with them in real life, not just online.

Thinking about something

There's a lot to life than meets the eye. Being filled with the passion of living life is a great thing, and sometimes I take too many things for granted. I no longer feel that adrenaline is controlling me. I no longer feel uncertain about what the whole truth is, even though it's understandable in my situation and already justified by those other guys. For me, when it comes to having a problem with the opposite sex even when it deals with my sister, I think it should not be about pursuing after them in a wrong direction. It should about focus, friendship, and concern. Even if it cross paths with my own interests, I should not think about it as being selfish. They hold the decision in the end, and this type of talk is not about a person being ridiculed for feeling that he is a short person.

Getting a job and working there, it's like almost certain that the worker will get paid. I have thought about the possible funny outcome of the world crashing to the floor then there's no more money to work for. In an empty world, God truly fills the void. This sacrificial God forgave believers of their sins, and they have entrance into His eternal goodness. No matter how faulty believers are sometimes like the ones I came across in the San Gabriel Valley, God still loves them. I think some of those peculiar boys and girls had some unsettled emotions that were inherited from their parents who immigrated or faced separation and prefer to live in negativity.

Writing at 6 am

I'm up right now after having an important dream that pretty much ties everything together over a stupid mess that others were ignorant over. I think out of their ignorance and causing something really bad to happen to me; I've been really able to calm down and not feel the adrenaline or unfairness tugging me down anymore. I know it's not wrong to reveal what they did wrong to me; it's going to affect others around me. There is nothing wrong in resolving a situation revolving around humanity, big or small thing. The reason why they haven't really reached out to me is because they are not really that capable of doing it, and I actually have provided that channel for them just that they have not been able to induce the proper respect that you give to a fellow.

Boston Red Sox lost to the Angels yesterday which was a pleasant surprise. They were shut out throughout the whole game, and I think that was an amazing accomplishment that the Angels did. Today, Angels are going up against the best pitcher of Red Sox, Beckett. Beckett has compiled a really respectable win-loss ratio with a good ERA; he's very compatible with big game situations and will not lose very often. He's sort of been through some injuries and might be worn out; we will have to see how well Beckett is able to handle the dangerous lineup dealing with the Angels. I remember one year everybody really took the Angels lightly but this year they have really made a statement.

The Dodgers we know still have yet to make another trip to the World Series. It would be nice to have an LA Freeway Series for the World Series. With California being the largest and most popular state, it would be hard for the world to ignore this feat that has happened for the first time since professional baseball originated.

Let's be honest with myself

I'm going to write a secret post where I detail everything that I want to say. I think this is something I want to keep personal for the sake of trying to move on better. Overall, I see that my emotions are easily becoming very nice for me to overcome. I have the ability to outdo my own personal frustration and anger. I have this inner desire to be thinking about things in a fair manner whenever I feel that a thought on a person is going downhill. After all, I'm starting to not really mind a forced upon separation with others. I don't want to let down others now. I need to turn it around and be more disciplined. I could see that even though I feel that I'm really short, I have a privileged mind that feeds on feeling great about propriety, morality, humor, and nice sensibility. I think I've done enough soul searching with myself these past couple years. It's time to start a new slate clean with the hope of the Lord. I think it's okay to be blunt in front of others sometimes, even if it makes them want to shy away from you later. With a nice smile and good attitude in the face of hostility, danger, and confusion, it sure beats violence a million times.

This morning

I think my posts are starting to scare some people or make some people angered for no real reason that they would not want to bother to explain in a through manner. The questions that I ask may be so annoying to them because they don't know how to answer and still believe that I am not deserving of what it is that they can't really reveal to me. They would probably like to think that it's mean but I should just keep writing because if someone is brave enough to read my writing they will probably let it influence themselves. This writing is probably so uncomfortable that some people need to disassociate themselves and act a little different around me then they normally would. I am not trying to suck up to anybody here. I'm just trying to make sense of this adrenaline flow I'm getting and adjusting to it for the best results. I just need to be committed and that should work.

I did read about different diagnostic methods of depression, and I don't think I have it because I'm still capable of controling my own emotions. I guess I speak out my mind a lot better in person and should come to an understanding that some individuals just want to stay uptight no matter what they want to do. I need to convince them that it's wrong to view an individual from a wrong angle especially when they think they are so right. I guess that's what really scares them the most that they could be wrong when they think they are so certain about something.

Very bad very...

I need to stop doing bad things in general. It makes me feel bad, and I know I have the energy and confidence to do it without needing to think to myself about self-esteem all the time. I know that some people just talk and then eventually get themselves frustrated and then isolate themselves. I really don't know how I cause this to happen with some people, but when that happens, it sure is very annoying to me. I don't need to talk behind their backs or do all that other meaningless stuff. I do discuss about a friend's twin brother all the time. I even talk what I say twenty-four hours with him and very bluntly. I don't mind if he changes for the better because I would not want him to be a vexing person. Even if he tries to look me down, I don't really mind anymore. It's just hard work and persistence. Not too many people know about this and just feel like giving up too easy. I don't think it's fully right but it's okay I guess.

Interesting Times

Today, my faculty is filled with inspiration. I'm in a slope where my emotions are riding higher, and I feel that all my inner emotions that others sort of have displayed with ineptitude is not that bad at all. I think the more I study, the more deeper I can look into my heart. I have hope that I can solve problems with the help of the Spirit of God leading me. I think the Spirit of God wanted me to develop confidence to pursue the path of righteousness. It's a wonderful trial that I went through, and I feel that God's grace has sufficiently kept me going.

Moving Forward

A lot has been happening for me, and I'm reaching in deep to really know what my desires are. I've been so accustomed to feeling that my desires are never really going to get met in this world and that suffering through my little pains of like not getting any taller or succeeding is something to just feel underneath but try to be good about it. I'm starting to feel really confident about so many things. I really want to also express myself in a humble fashion but I guess it's not enough sometimes. Maybe, I do it in a way that is not appropriate. I think I need to be successful and happy and experience the joys of fruitfulness and helping others before I can let my heart be humble. For the time being, I should just be getting completely honest about myself and allow myself to be understanding.

Unresolved Questions with simple answers

This post just reflects the annoyances that people like to put on you with statements that don't really reflect who you are and then they state they want to help you. This is something outside the box about unresolved issues- I realize that gambling is not good, not that I really get into it or anything; that's something people could have a hard time getting over if they do it too much of. An ignorant person told me that he wanted me to become a blessing; to be a blessing you simply just need to help out in something. I guess he did not want to think about those things I excelled in to help out, while he was really bothered about something and took him awhile to crack. This probably means something good to me because I did not do something really that bad in the beginning, and he had told me that he was sorry for what he did. I'm starting to build confidence here now. I'm getting a lot of apologies which is important to acknowledge and for me to accept maturely and to be happy about while gaining more confidence to solve this issue dealing with people.

I guess my own internal feelings of aggravation don't really come out because I like to knock it off. I am totally ready to work hard at it and also experience the good side of things that are out there. It's easy for me to connect with older individuals who have lived interesting lives and know what's going on. I think that's going to help me in the future and to be a better and more capable individual. The stress is always going to be there and just talking about it to solve it is not going to really do much. Just have to take it as suffering and still with intent of loving them and being smart with them. Overall, I think that's being fair and keeping yourself happy and in accordance with staying pleasing to the Lord.

Conclusion of Camp

Today is the final day of camp for me. I've pretty much signed up for learning a lot more about the LAN/WAN industry which is basically setting up computer networks and maintaining them with complicated stuff. They have you get certified, make this nifty resume, and apply for like over 1 Million jobs in the U.S. Demand for network engineers is really high and for many reasons that seem obvious. The internet is one reason because that's what a network really is.

Understanding the theory and applicable stuff is actually pretty fun for me. Even though it can be a challenge, I don't mind putting the hard work into it. It's a pretty lucrative position too. Something that I've felt like I need to be a part of. Maybe this field is a calling for me. What I take out of this camp is some great references who will put in a good word for me and the highest level of certification with a top 10 Fortune 500 company- that is Cisco and Microsoft. Let's see where this takes me because the state of California easily tops out to be the most technological with LAN/WAN jobs. I searched over 20,000 jobs already in the last days and it's still growing by the hundreds daily. I have a chance of getting at least scraped by a company that needs hook ups and promoting certified people with some experience. They say my Computer Science degree could count as about 2-3 years of I.T. experience depending on the employer. I am very excited with the opportunity that is ahead for me.

Right now, I'm on break with a camp. I've studied for about 10 hours a day on average by the end of the week! My brain practically is shutting down in certain parts of the day but I'm loving it. I'm actually applying some speed reading techniques. In addition to a lecture, I really was thinking about something and just want to lay it out. I really want to make a difference in this world. I'm not really in it for the money. I would like to provide a cool venue that people could apply to assist on something. Whether it's something really little or large, I remember sleeping at a conference where the maker of Intel pentium processor Hyper Threading and Larry Wall of Perl came by to talk about stuff. It was pretty awesome just that I was too tired to stay awake and listen the whole time. Life goes on for the average joe. Who just plays video games, feels bad, had a few good pizzas together with roommates while watching football and studies hard up to a certain point, and then gets drilled with hard lessons in life. It's not that bad...I've been just feeling bad from not always performing where I think I could be. What can you do in the end though? It's make better decisions by committing to something that ties everything together. Ever dream of making a choice like that?

I remember this one awesome Jewish author who came by and gave this talk about the end of the world. You know with the Jewish people, this author is a Christian and has been studying a lot of world events and been predicting stuff that actually came true. It's exciting to have heard him talk. I also slept on his testimony too. I was so tired. I hate doing this. Okay, I have to seriously stop sleeping in people's talks. I believe that I have already finally learned to resolve whatever it was that was not making me tick and stay relieved and cool even under personally induced pressure.

This is a post that I'm sneaking. I will try to be mindful of who I am writing it for. Whether it be my future lover, or if it be my curent friends who went crazy, I'm just proud to be a believer of God. I'm having so much fun and I realize that there has to be a God in my life. How he works in my heart and provides me relief in times of trouble. How His Word has always been there to pick me up. The gospel has full strength and great meaning. I just can't explain it too way right now. I can even hardly see my words because I'm writing without looking at the screen. Okay bye. Maybe I'll just pick up my Bible which I left in my car. I'm currently at a camp to get certified for a job. I'm loving it a lot. Maybe a successful journey is ready for me to begin.

Going on break

Today, I suppose that I get a chance to really study hard now. I think God has blessed me with the ability of having reasonable assumptions and to not get so mad that I entirely lose my cap and go into a mental institution. Even if I do get mad, I think I like to believe that people with turning it around any day then there is reward in it. There is no joy in trying to cut off people for the sake of obtaining something selfish because you are just not being any good person then.

I see that it's okay to want to please others to a certain extent and to feel guilty about it for awhile. Then, when the anger kicks in just pray to God and know that some people have the ability to help and to really feel compassionate with you. If you don't see any of them right now in your life, then perhaps I could introduce you to a friend of mine. He lived and died a long time ago and this may sound crazy but he rose from the dead and a myriad of witnesses claimed he went to heaven and performed miracles for the sake of providing eternal salvation. This man's name is Jesus. Jesus claimed to be God and stated that he loved all men that none should perish but have everlasting life, if they would turn from the wicked bondage of a common enemy and cast their eyes in true freedom.

I think I feel safe

I think with all the days that I have numbered on Earth. Just a few minutes out of the day to compose what's on my mind just for myself with nobody really seeing it, but could any time of the day is starting to be sort of a discomfort but also an acceptable thing.

I just don't know what really happened in the past. It's sort of becoming like a blur to me now. I think I just need to concentrate a little better and be ready to open to receiving sound Biblical teaching. It's really amazing how the simple principles are just tied together in one knot, and how the truth can set you to be free and liberated. It does not need to make you feel hurt.

Just a Post

Today, I'm just trying to basically study really hard. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I'm just in the mode of figuring out what I really want for myself and to actually do it. I don't think I really have that big of any problems. Everything is just a big misconception sometimes.

The only thing that really remains a light to me is following a relationship with Jesus. I know it's really hard for me to follow him all the time and to also preach the gospel. I guess I just have my struggles in that area and how I wish to be used by God. I'm totally in this stage where my sexual temptations are starting to get me wondering about getting married to an attractive woman. I don't want to continue living in sin.

I'm going to prioritize and learn to give enough effort. It's very difficult, but I think it's really beneficial and helpful.

Just Random

I'm just writing something random today because I'm trying to keep up with this blog. I just want to write something okay and not really be that offensive. I think it's the Spirit of God that I really want to worship that gives me this personal space of mine to write and not be intrusive to others.

I don't really want to do a lot of bad things, and I don't think I'm really all that bad and crazy underneath. I guess it's okay to be in this learning habit. I think I should be leading myself into studying more of what I'm trying to do. I also like to read the Bible even though I'm not very good at it. I'm just spending a few minutes reading a few chapters a day. This pretty much equates to taking a year to read the whole Bible. Attending a good Bible teaching church has really helped me get nourished spiritually and to see a side of being free from bondage of sin and forgiven through the loving Savior. It's really good for me to study because I get to really learn to cope with what is bugging me. It's such a nice thing to have for myself. It's so humbling and very appealing for me to try to master.

Just Planning

Today, I realize that all these years of trying to get a high by playing video games may have been okay, but not the absolute best journey of finding an eternal path. I think I'm realizing that I would like to let go of playing video games like crazy and become a very disciplined person. While doing this, I would also like to engage in at least mildly good conversations with beautiful people. Anybody who tries to turn their back on me are pretty much not really that well okay, I don't really want to say right now.

I'm going to try to take a this test to see if I could get into a police academy. I hear they are hiring, but I just want to see if they would take me. I just want to see how I rank right now for some specific purpose. I have other plans currently, but right now with the job market, I just want to see if the legal enforcers really want to pursue after me. I don't know if I'll really be joining but it might really be a real confident booster if they find me okay.

Understanding "Me"

I'm starting to notice that memories in the past may not really be all that helpful sometimes. It's great to rely on feelings and the present situation and the fun part is sometimes stirring doubt in others who seem to complain a lot. I'm just really pausing right now and wanting to basically say acceptable things over the internet. It's more of a discipline because I feel like I am more capable of writing seemingly interesting things that would stir laughter in third parties.

I really understand myself and what's best for me. Basically, it's just allowing myself to bear my own emotions whenever I have any natural doubt about something. I don't think there's anything wrong with others not wanting you to be their best friend. That's a really rude thing to impose on. Just going up for balance is so important. My sister seems to point out that my main fault or problem is not being able to talk properly. I really know how I'm supposed to succeed now and how spending so much time wallowing in my own shadows is not really going to be all that great.

It's just important to read the situation really well and to ask like the most comprehensive questions and then to be able to naturally assess the actions of others. People sometimes are faulty in this area and could not be looked upon as that serious. I think it's best to seek for the best advice by praying to God and being patient under His own timing. It is actually a flawless method that is sometimes really hard to understand.

I really don't know...

I don't really need attention right now. I'm just realizing that there is a wealth of information out here. It's just great to understand things that happened. I think by having a good attitude and just wanting to see how things will turn out, it will be all okay in God. Everything does not always seem as it is. It's probably best to avoid some subjects that people are sort of trying to be noisy with. Maybe everyone varies, it's just important to try to get along in having love with others. I don't really know what I'm saying right now. I'm just typing random jargon. I think it's just good to work hard and to be humble. Learning is such a humble thing. I'm starting to see that pride is not required when learning. The most successful people do a humble thing by studying hard.

Jesus Loves You

Sometimes one of the hardest things is living life without reassurance of what you are doing. I believe that by exercising faith in Jesus, it could mean a lot of good things. Jesus said in the Bible that he would send the Holy Spirit to believers who would confess that they are sinners and accept him as their savior. It's a totally simple concept but very hard for people living in the flesh to realize. I really think that Jesus can solve anything, if you truly want to live out in testimony of him. My personal confidence is getting to a level that is consistent, just by wanting to confess my sins daily to him and being able to face it. There's no more need for depression, mental disorders, or angry outbursts. Being able to live to endure temptations and not give into them anymore makes me feel so much more happier. It's all thanks to something underneath me that wants to reach out to God. I know that I continue to fall short daily and that I can't have a perfect walk with Jesus. My heart has truly come to accept Jesus as my true savior, without any need to display personal strength and pride in my ways. If I were to be so prideful about myself, I would be only mocking the true gospel.

Thinking Positive

I realize that I a lot of things are not really supposed to be that difficult to achieve. A lot of it really has to deal with attitude of willingness to go for it and to also work really hard for something. I don't think there's anything wrong with over-preparing on course materials. I realize that I naturally felt stuck in the past from not being able to study properly, but now I understand that it's part of me and I have learned to relax it. I'm pretty much ready to achieve high levels of success. I am really no stranger to success.

Just A Suggestion

It takes a lot of time to understand situations and patience to overcome tough obstacles that seem very difficult. There's really no right or wrong when it comes to having a normal relationship with a person. I think it really does deal with the issue of personal space. We all have our own preferences and need to have a certain level of respect for it. I, myself, have come across as an easy person to voice all concerns with. At a certain moment of time, I unfortunately can really hate them doing it so much with reasons that don't make any sense to me. I think it's within reason to talk to clear out any unreasonable factors with the person. If they just stop talking to you after all these problems they put on you, I think you are home bound to do whatever you want to do them. I suggest limiting the amount of scolding and to do it to a minimal amount and to make them submit under your personal victory.

Only Time Will Tell

I seriously realize the effect that my writing can really have and that people can view things differently. Oh, I understand that people can have the ability to be mad with me and say another thing. This whole issue sometimes can worsen to the maximum thing, but nothing bad would be really happening. I understand that I do have a moral sense of responsibility. I totally forgot a lot about myself, and where I really came from. I don't really need people telling me how to live anymore. I think I've grown up enough to understand so many different points. It really does not matter for me what happened as of this moment. I'm only going to grow stronger because of the faith that I'm putting in Christ. Not the kind who is a wishing well, but I'm just dwelling on the true authenticity who lived a perfect, sacrificial life.

All my pains are made little and like chaff that is blown away. Sure, it's nothing right now and I know that there are bigger pains in life. Maybe, God is setting me up right now for the biggest stage in my life. I'm going to live a good life and a very big one.

Repenting From Bad Urges

A saying goes the mind is a terrible thing to waste. I totally agree because sometimes if things get out of hand, others could not really use their head and rely more on their emotions and do something bad. I think it's just important to sometimes keep yourself busy and allow time to show what really went wrong. It's also important to educate the mind and to be a very hard worker and to face yourself by being completely honest about your desires. These desires can be met, but it's important to have a relationship with Jesus. What does Jesus truly want for us? I don't think the Bible intends to tell us that it's okay for us to be selfish.

Sometimes, you just have to think about the feelings of others. I am starting to realize that it's not all about centering a focus on one individual at a time. Life can move into a greater direction by not worrying so much about insignificant things. I think respecting the personal space of others is really easy, even if confusion takes place and you are not really getting what you want out of them. I should have just clearly expressed all my desires while not being afraid of myself doing harm to others. Moving on will not be that hard for me anymore. I totally have faith that God can provide all my desires and that I should have patience and align my flesh in a path of discipline to avoid myself from falling into sexual sins. I believe that it's naturally for us to have sexual urges and that God intended for us to live them out in marriage presuming that God intended a man and a woman to marry to be faithful to each other.

Winners and Losers

Today, I'm starting to realize that so many chances are still available as part of my right and that I don't need to really be listening to the opinions of the others if I feel that mine is way better. I am starting to understand myself a lot better and am really learning to face myself. I feel comfortable and yet just a little pushed over. I am starting to see that I have always naturally been good at focusing on the attention of others being mad at me over something silly. I guess I am not supposed to really mind or feel bothered by it. There's finally something for me to just appreciate.

What I Am Thinking

I am just writing this blog for myself. I am pretty much adding in stuff that would be helpful for myself. I think when people give me advice, some of it can be laughable already. I guess I have not been wanting to comprehensively face myself, but now that I am doing it, I don't really have that much I am apprehensive over anymore. I know that I am ignorant to many things. Proving things wrong have never been so much easier when things are forced upon you, and you are just trying to communicate your thoughts with reason to a bad crowd. It's just growing through adversity with people who you want to be mad at but want to just focus on being a good person, always.

It's best to just face yourself and be completely natural about something. As long as you are following the guidelines within how the Bible was originally intended for everyone, which means you have to study the Scriptures and meditate upon it daily, and then use it to live your life in accordance to how you and God desire things, it should be okay to react to hostile situations in prayer first.

Fun Day At The LA County Fair

Today, I went to the LA County fair with a very close friend. The admission fee was only like $1. Yes, seriously. Everybody was like, no way, what the heck? My parents also felt like going when I informed them that it was only until this weekend. It was really hot at this time of the year and I do not really feel like going again until at least the weather cools down.

We just walked around and saw some animals and went to visit some stores. I signed up to enter a few drawings to go on a cruise and to Hawaii. The guy who was working asked if I had a girlfriend. I sort of skirted around with the answer. I'm not going to really mention anything more about her at this time.

The drinks and games also became a dollar after 4 P.M. It was cool because I got to win some prizes. It wasn't that big, but it's okay I guess. I had fun playing and also chipping in some money for my buddy who also won a prize. He wanted to trade an item I won for a smaller item that he had. Pretty funny sarcasm. I picked up two stuffed animals- a horse with a piggy-like face and a small fish that looked like Nemo.

Managing Some Anger

I normally don't like to project my emotions in a negative manner. However, I was doing this a lot and I should have just said whatever I wanted to say. I thought by avoiding my angry comments for a long time that they would finally come to their senses. I sort of tried to do it by hiding out with all the e-mails and that no judge or person under oath even when they are so angry for whatever reason could say that my statements were violent.

I don't think the things I said were wrong, but only trying to be an educational person with an intent of becoming a better writer. At least I have a constellation prize with all the madness that has happened for me. I can write a little better and not worry as much in expressing myself fully around friends and literally listening to them in conversation. Sorting out problems or things I don't like with another person is always going to be hectic. I think I realize that people are going to be a little more open with me because of my demeanor, so I have not really lost that much alienation or loneliness. The only reason why I get it is because they are acting so crazy and only a few people seem like this in my life. Overall, just interacting with a good heart even while you are mad about something underneath is pretty fun, and you can expect some handshakes and hugs as a result.

Personal predictions

I predict that in three years a lot of things are going to happen for me. I am starting to realize my potential from having learned to grow up. I have been stuck on a lot of inconsequential things which have just been wasting my time. I think I have to learn to balance myself from these dumb incidences that have occurred for me. I just need to not worry about things that cannot be under my control anymore. The good Lord will seriously do amazing things in my life and is completely protective of me when I'm speculating a lot of pain and distress for myself.

I personally like to humor myself without offending others too much, even though maybe a few would not want to see it my well and really make me become quiet. Maybe I should do some really cool stuff and focus. There really is not much time left for me to just feel like I want to do things and then not see it happen. Life is sometimes painful in that regard for me. I just don't like to accept some things. It's just part of my personality. I am a gamer pretty much.

Today, I'm just chilling with a friend. I totally need to up my tempo with studying. I managed to read five books already in just under five days. That's one book per day while spending about four hours each on average. These books are on computers and are a pretty fast read for me. I guess making a profession out of computing won't be that bad for me after all. I am really motivated to continue pursuing in this direction of becoming a certified tech junkie with a huge company. I think it will open plenty of doors for me.

I am still offended with certain things that happened to me, like we all can be in certain times of our life. It's normal to be human. I just have not spoken up in those incidences where I was offended because I just wanted to try to listen to some distressed individuals' insane requests, even though I would not be able to function by doing them.

Just Writing

I'm starting to figure that it's okay to be uncomfortable about some things in life. You just have to keep moving along and hopefully, the pressure will eventually release itself. It's so difficult to break out of bad habits too. I myself am contending with my old nature daily. I think it's incredible to walk to the other side for better goodness, instead of continuously doing things to hurt yourself. You can't do this on your own. You need spiritual comfort to be able to fully overcome this obstacle and to never look back again. That's where Christ can fit in anyone's picture.

Today, life is good. I think that I have a lot of good people in my life. Sometimes, it's hard to reflect on what life is all about. I guess when you are so deep down nervous inside and then you feel like people are starting to harass you, it's a really hard thing to stay calm inside. Hmm, no wonder they think you would need to get some professional help. They pretty much would rather focus on providing very bad advice.

I also realize that you don't have all the time in the world. You need to prioritize. Some people are about money. I don't think these people are really doing something that's all that great. Some people are all about themselves. I don't think being selfish and closed off from the world gives you a meaningful life. I think just spending even at least 5 minutes a day on something, could equate to a year. The power of consistency in the time you give into something is so vital and should be a discipline.

Just imagine sleeping in about 8 hours. That only leaves 16 hours to get your stuff in. People who are overly invested could spend like 12 hours on something. That only leaves like 4 hours to do stuff. Hmm, being overly patient and super-slow could be a burden in some cases. It's best to have great concentration and focus. Having some truly close friends to spend time with is very meaningful and vital.

Today, I'm starting to realize that having personal complaints about insignificant things is not really going to take you anywhere. It's best to take heart about any area of discomfort and to live with what you think would be great to go your way. It's probably best not to really involve yourself with some people in certain areas of your life.

The heart is a wicked and deceitful thing. Yes, I know how bad of a person I can be and how my sins are really evil and make me fall apart. I want to continuously remind myself that it's about relying on God for all my needs and that I cannot do it on my own. Sure, I have desires just like anybody else. I want to make myself grow taller, still. Yeesh! I want to make some muscles and get some money to live pretty comfortably. Having these things in possession is still not enough to get the perfect girl. The perfect girl just loves you for who you are. Just by giving effort, sometimes you just can't expect it to go your way. You just have to learn to let some things go.

It's all thanks to Jesus that I want to give it all I have to be in a loving sensitive manner, even when I'm really frustrated at someone I know and just want to say things all over the place.

Today, I'm just in the mood for reading another book for studying about computers. I have been failing to manage my time properly. I have played this Star Wars game for a long time.

Over the last couple months, I totally understand what my problem was and that there's nothing I could do about it to change how others want to think about me. However, I'm feeling really angry inside and want to do something about it. I just want to give a full expression of myself to state what I need to say. I totally believe in expressing love in a sensitive manner, even while I'm in this pain. I just totally want to get rid of it right now. I need to be extremely patient right now because people can misunderstand you, no matter how much they say they know you.

Yesterday, I went to the library to study. It's a really cool building and although a lot of grown-ups find it boring to be at just a library, I find it to be a pretty remarkable place. They have some romantic settings over there and a fun area where these statues resembling seals shoot out water at any youngsters who dare challenge its crossfires. The building complex has a lot of really visually cool things made out of computers. They even have this aquarium that features a bambino shark- I recognize the species from having touched it at a feeding pool in a large aquarium. At the top floor, they call it the skyline floor and out of curiosity, the floor was made open to the public. I decided to check it out, as they were playing the original Neverending Story. Not bad to encourage youngsters to read a boook and share a part of the authors' imaginations.

I finally learned to bowl yesterday too at about 18 MPH top speed with a 14 pound ball. It makes a loud popping noise with the pins and something I could feel proud about. I basically did it by mimicking this really huge old-timer's form which just kept on getting strikes.

Man, I'm just so brought low today again. I need to basically repent and focus on something. I have a job that I am trying to apply for right now. I have been waiting for about a month already for this job position, but have not received any calls or mail yet.

I want to work really hard in this world and never give in to anything bad. The problem starts with the person first and then migrates to the situation. I'm going to make a promise to God. I will be the very best that I can be no matter how much I suffer for doing it. I'm pretty good at studying, I should not really have any problems in expressing myself. This is a really hard situation laid out on me.

Sometimes things in life are out there to basically frustrate you. These moments are very difficult to deal with. The Bible says to abide in the father and to love God to the fullest expectations of the Scriptures. I'm working on something that deals specifically with people. I have not done anything wrong, but the people who are against me do not see the wrong that they have done. I guess this is a very typical thing for them to do. In my fullness of anger, I do not want to express myself by writing to them. I don't even want to remotely have anything related to them. I guess it's about not doing anything bad no matter what.

There are some things that I want to reveal to the world. I'm not going to reveal the bad parts of myself to keep that a secret. I know what they are and I am going to work on preventing them so that I don't have to face the bad music anymore, if I ever get in that situation. I am a really sensitive type person who really cares about not offending others. Through this, I'm hoping to get a reasonable truce with everyone in this world. This does not deal with any religious experiences. It's just who I am.

The good parts about me is that I know how to study hard. I know how to be patient under feeling a lot of pressure. I can feel depressed but still have the will to fight on no matter what happens to me. I really hate feeling angry and feeling pain underneath all the time. It's an addiction for me to do something to cope with it, by attacking the problem. The problem I have right now is with some people. It is really frustrating that they don't want to side with my conclusions. Almost everybody has the will to laugh when I put this, the main problem I have right now is with my little sister who just graduated college. She's such a pain and does not want to do things with me or agree with me. It is just so frustrating. She thinks I have an infatuation problem with her...err, that makes me feel really mad that she would comment on me like that. There are so many beautiful people out there...why would I want to lay my eyes on her like that? I still imagine the little ugly girl in her who she was while growing up. I seriously hate the idea of having to yell at my little sister when she constantly talks to me with an attitude problem. All this anger that's running through me makes me want to distance myself from her!

Let's see if this pushes anything. Jean, my sister, does not want to put me on Facebook. She says that she does not care that I called her selfish and that she admits to not wanting to get along with me. She says that I am a very bad brother and that she would press charges if I wrote this about her on my blog.

I don't really care about this post. I'm just trying to see something. I'll take this post off.

Sometimes, the inevitable has to happen no matter how nervous one can get. When this occurs, I think the wise man needs to play a huge role in what he wants to obtain. A lot of perceptions go around all the time and sometimes even with the slightest fluctuations of how a person acts, it can be so misinterpreted.

I think there are some crazy people around me right now, but I'm not going to mention who. I would rather treat them with a good remedy in person.

Life is not really as it is if people start giving you a hard time and you backfire on them with something nonviolent. That's really hard to deal with. There are sometimes breaks in a relationship that occur no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Suffering can still take place in this area. It's all about learning to let go through a forgiving attitude and be willing to accept the truth through the ears of others first before implanting them with your own opinions.

I've had situations where I would get really short-fused with others and filled with adrenaline because I seriously did no harm to them. I would then avoid them for long periods of time.

Sometimes in life, you just need to learn to let go. This is what I want to do. I want to just move on with my life now. I don't need to justify anything I have done. I just want to be still this time around.

Hard hidden lesson

This is something that I have picked up now. It's okay if people think you are having a hard time, and they want to help you by giving you advice. I say try to accommodate them by following their advice as close as possible. Maybe your image will be affected in a bad manner to some people. I still do not think it hurts to really listen to people. I think it just means dying to yourself. It deals with the length of time that they ask of you. It's really hard to be patient if you want to things your way. I guess in life, sometimes things are not supposed to go your way. I now see that I need to live my life submitting to people who really want to help and trusting them and be ready to forgive them all at the same time. As long as you are submitting to them in all respect, I think there's something called negotiation. I don't think I will have the need to mess up in this area anymore with people in my life. Just speak up boy and be ready to commit to others' needs and wishes. I'm ready to do this without getting any professional help.

5 year old trumpet player

It's really amazing how he plays it. It like comes across as so natural for him. I've played the trumpet all my life, and my high school band teacher was like complaining that I would pinch on the horn so much. He switched me over to a low brass instrument, the euphonium. The horn was like a nightmare for me. It gave me low marks on my college days.

http://www.trumpetherald.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84937

Pretty Bored

I write so much and it pretty much is a waste of time for others to look at. I don't really mind now that I stay away from some of that naughty stuff that offends a lot of people on the internet. I'm starting to make an important connection now about some people. They sometimes don't want to get along with you because they want to be selfish. They try to hide that emotion by explaining things to you. It's very important to cover your ears up with their comments that would make you really angry with these people.

I'm starting to understand this area now and that it's not really me that is the problem. It's really them who has problems. I need to still be careful with the things I say and do now. The main point is pretty much getting cleared up, and I'm now understanding enough with happiness in the Lord. I can't believe I am finally understanding this value. It's easy to state you have no problem moving on with people who are being selfish and unreasonable. If you can really prove it, then I think it's really good on your part and very bad for them.

Random boy/girl stuff

Another comment. I hope I'm not causing any people to feel aggravated with me talking about God all the time. I know how I feel that way with others sometimes and how I need to put a lid on it because my body just wants to perceive things that way.

I've always been good at coming on top when someone does something really bad to me. It's something innate and a part of me. I just hope it does not create in me something that wants to go nuts like awhile go.

Anyway, I sort of have it figured out but have to find it tested. In Jesus, we are forgiven for our sins. Through trusting him, he gives us strength to overcome any sinful obstacles. In him, we find peace and a renewed joyful heart. Jesus promised all of mankind that any man who would believe onto him would find everlasting life. (John 3:16)

I sort of stumbled on something practical, possibly for people who been struggling with pornography. This may sound sick. I apologize. I feel that we should not be in a pursuit of porn, it's the feeling or that desire of arousal which is part of guys no matter how strong it is through our biological build-up that gives us fuel to find the right mate. I sort of been turned off by someone I've been sexually attracted to, and man it really bites another dust. It's the feeling of pursuit that guys should get accustomed to and normal with. Remember, not everyone is made for you. I think it's looking for common grounds and attaching yourself with someone who does not mind the attention you give her. It is also being patient and taking it easy with the person.

It's extremely hard to sometimes just have the mentality of being friends with certain girls...They seem to make it hard when you want to just hang out and talk about whatever and just chill. It must deal with having a good character and nice sense of humor. I think most girls dig that type of sweet sensible individual. It does not really matter how bad you look as long as you have viable characteristics. For me, I'm really really short. I think I have a nice body for my size, but still I hate the idea of being short. I guess if you have to choose something that you want to lack in, might as well be height. I hope to find out about short and well-known CEOs with taller and attractive wives soon. (*chuckles, sorry) Frost said something like "What lacks in height makes up for what is in depth." Stole it from a friend's AIM profile. Another saying from my mom is, "A more chilli red pepper is shorter than a normal one." Another cheesy analogy, but quite interesting as it runs through a culture.

I see myself always as an imperfect individual because I want to stay living in the truth. Realizing this makes it possible to build a firmer relationship with anyone. A friend of mine wants to get a little foolish and say that he is perfect in some area like courting millions of girls. I'm of course, exaggerating just for laughs; I sort of have fun pointing out his weaknesses in whatever he says. I guess that's how a boy sometimes grows up into a man!

Just writing really fast

I can now see how the normal reaction for my statements are to laugh basically. It really has pretty significant meaning in that it might lighten up the mood in a stressful environment. It all depends on how successful you are. Most of the time, I guess being quiet could mean that you are not having any trouble at all. With how people start caring about you, I think that just comes from not trying to mess around and wanting to make sense and doing something in your power.

Many of us are like not patient enough to get results. Some of us try to think that it's impossible after some certain length of time has passed on. God is not like this. Because of His perfect nature, He understands through our strengths and weaknesses that in time we will change. It's only God who can change a man or woman inside out. We are just a passing vessel; however, we all have a gift that gives us joy in the Lord.

This is pretty cool

I think I like to write a lot when I'm in some destructive mood. I try to cover it up basically through writing. Communicating is wonderful, and I don't really care to do something illegal like a cop might try to blame me for in an ignorant way.

Okay, I feel good right now after just writing it. I write like this to a lot of people who wrong me. They don't respond to me the way I expect, but it makes me laugh every time I write or going back to think about it. Eventually, the agitation goes away after writing about seriously nothing bad and comes to a normal sense of accepting them. Even if they want to lock me up, I will still write and now that I have patience and a normal head, I'm pretty gung ho about making them change into better people.

There are a few things I want to occupy myself with: 1) Study 2) Rest 3) Exercise 4) Be with a friend. In my spare time, I want to read a lot. I struggle with spiritual things a lot too, and I'm glad that I'm coming around even though it's vexing to hear people want you to be some way that you don't want to be. My desirable roots are forming.

Trying to let go of the flesh

I know all my struggles, and how I don't wish to publicize them or speak about it in private that often. There's a saying that ignorance is sometimes bliss. It's funny how by being right in your motives and actions, people can react in an insecure manner when you confront them initially. There are many painful ways to go about this, but I'm trying to get over it fast right now.

I now know my aspirations, what bugs me a lot, and how I should cope with it. It's really crazy because I have all these wonderful ideas for myself to self-motivate myself, but then I forget it the next day with my crazy emotions taking over. I sometimes lose it with this self-hedonism approach to life. It's wrong to live in this deceitfulness, but so many do to this day. It's a struggle, and I know I have it underneath me to push to the finish, but I still fail all the time to this day. I hope that by writing about it, I'll be able to take comfort in the hands of the Lord when I do face it and not forget a confession that I made like two weeks ago. I hope that I will be able to face my selfish attitude and the pain that goes along with it. To pursue in a loving way that is the right and best way even though others may see it as wrong. I hope that this connection would be linked up to me. I hope that it would change the majority and their views about me.

I'm wrong to this day somewhere, and there's no way of making it right. Ending the act of doing something and changing it to nothing could sometimes be defensive, but it could be worthless in the end. There's a dilemma to try and to change and to resist and to pursue. It's like facing myself, close to being my worst enemy. The devil Satan is our worst enemy, but let's not forget how we could bring others down and that doing something is sometimes required even though it's super messy and things go spiraling downwards. Something has to be learned from it. History should never repeat itself. Guys like me keep forgetting. Maybe there is a hard lesson to learn while pursuing after something you prize like a beautiful woman who has a heart for you, but everybody keeps you from getting to her. Maybe you want to say a lot of mean things in a nice way and laugh about it in secret and while the other person gets so mad at you. I think it's best not to care so much about unproductive things that want to haunt you from the past.

It's to look to Jesus' true intentions, so that means if you are uncomfortable about his teaching you should really research and take time to meditate on it. Not just give up or make unnecessary assumptions and not to get so mad about people disagreeing with you. He sacrificed his life and reminded us of this quote, "A best friend will lay down his life for you. " He stated to God that they know not what they are doing and to forgive them. He then stated, "It is finished" and died with a broken heart.

Here we go again

I really need to encourage myself to write more often. In a way, my mind is working so fast that some of the things I could be jotting down may amaze me in the future. In some days, it may just feel like fluff. I think we all have our good and bad days. It's just the extremes that some of us need to forget about or try to rely on faith with having good counsel. I once read this article about an atheist who was complaining that his AA meetings emphasized having faith in God to change him. It felt like he was trying to state that the idea was ludicrous and really not doing much for his addiction problem. We're all not perfect but it does not mean the norm can't be challenged by anyone who is devastatingly overwhelmed by a system.

I also work up a flair a lot when I'm in disagreement with people. I've been trying to write more in these moments because I know that I don't really say crazy things. If I can write things that sends a guilty conscience wringing down someone's throat without having stated anything bad about them , then why really give it up. It's a talent that I must possess or in some weird way that needs to be explored. If I was super sad, I probably would not be writing about my perils with the offensive person. It does not do well to communicate; everybody around me communicates like they are on a hot plate sometimes. It's just important for me to not to lose it in the end and then get super sad about it and then get so hurt that I withdraw from society and then try resolving things without any help with professionals or anybody. Man, that type of lifestyle is something I don't want to get into again. My emotions are not too overboard as it used to be. Thank goodness with age and dealing with enraging issues in attempting positive acts. In greater news, thank Jesus for committing the greatest act for all of man's sins. The perfect man who was blameless and did not fall to the temptations of the flesh and the devil. He sacrificed himself that whoever would look upon him in faith, the person would be granted everlasting life. The gospel is so wonderful and overfilling. It is a message of love, hope, and faith wherever your life is at.

I myself am waking up looking in the mirror. I am like man, I wish I was taller and had better looks with a smile now. I don't seem to be bothered by my outside appearance anymore that much. I think exercising more would be great for my health and give me considerable benefits in mobility and lifting power. It feels like a lot of my average friends wish they were a little taller too. Even though I'm really short, my friends try to say that I don't look that proportionately short. I even heard a tall professor state that he felt a lot of anxiety about standing out in the crowd. A super gentleman that he is- he married his best friend and has no trouble announcing how great his sexual needs are being met.

Ending the Act of Irritating Others

I seriously imagine myself having the ability to frustrate others unintentionally. With my age getting very close to thirty, I believe that there are a lot of expectations that I have been imposed with by people who do not seem to handle life very well. I see that they have tears coming out of their eyes, which probably means there is a guilt trip that they do not want to come out of.

They don't want to be exposed about something. It drives me a little irritated and the more I think about it, the more I come up with solutions to end this matter that I don't want to deepen. I know what I need to do. It's about having a drive of confidence that swoops others and straightens them up. I have discernment that sees the weird in others sometimes instead of feeling like I need to run away.

Life Is Seriously Painful

It is okay. Life is meant to be hard! There are some things we should just forget about it. Until that day comes, things will be very painful. People say I've had a very good life. I'm so ashamed of myself. It's time to move on. I am seriously okay with that.

This is what I plan to do to get back into a club that kicked me out for writing too many bad e-mails to them. They have also called a crooked cop, and he is very feisty. I wonder if I could get him to cooperate with me. It would be an interesting marvel. I project this whole thing of getting back is going to take about a year.

I'm just simply going to keep coming, park in a convenient location, and run to my car if a cop tells me to leave. I will do this every week, until I can catch my breath to speak to one of those cops. I will also be wearing a white shirt and black shorts. I don't think it will be long for everyone to catch that I should be in.

Dumb Group Issue

Okay, a Bible verse states "Honesty is like a kiss on the lips" and it also states something like a friend who wounds you is more greater than an enemy who tries to suppress you with sweet words. I believe this opens up an interesting area of how angered people can be hypocritical if they try to reach out to you. Just having knowledge of the Word alone sometimes is enough to help you out in exercising good principles.

What I'm getting at is that sometimes you need to be honest by jabbing at your love one's actions and justifying how he is wrong and then leading him to how you want him to behave. It takes a lot of humility to accept defeat. I guess in my end, a restraining order pretty much means I did something terrible and should accept that I did something very bad. The restraining order is something I see that people could easily overreact over. It's a strange occurrence sometimes to deal with. It's not breaking the law, if it gets on you. Just give it some time to allow the other person to calm down and give the person space.

I'm going through an issue where girls are acting pretty crazy with me. They can't explain their personal reason for wanting space with me. I keep asking, and it could be frustrating but I'm not going to let it run my life down. I'm not going to mind any restraining order with them anymore. I just don't care about having to stalk them or anything anymore, if that's what they feel I'm doing. I'll just keep away and not care about their over-reactant intonation about their side of the story.

Going to Court With Mockers

Today, on Christina's Court I saw how two ladies had a dispute over a vallet car incident. It appeared that the defendant was going to win but she ended up losing. This brings me a little scare. I have naturally been scared of over-reacting people because they sort of give me the Buh G. B's. As the aftermath of these people's actions, I guess those kind of things happen where you feel like you would not mind the comfort of a therapist and then you imagine the therapist feeling like she's wasting time with you. Seriously, how often do you invest your faculty into thinking that you have the right to get involved but you are truly not going to and then nobody can really pick up on this incident. Then, by being so quiet these few individuals who scare you start talking behind people's backs with you around their little circle. Boy, I have tried so hard to avoid wraithful thinking on their part with the hands of God.

I think it had to do with me being extremely quiet in nature and having a penchant for being around whiners who are little in their ways and holding things in contempt. They all seemed to give off this similar nonchalant voice of being fully vexed about something and then they pause and put some breaks in between these repeated words. Okay, and then they start incanting the words "Don't let this out of this circle." These type of events used to horrify me and made me surly but slowly stay out of these people's paths. I then felt super lonely about something and it's so weird that I should not try to position myself in a defensive stance anymore. If people take me to court, I'm all theirs to slaughter. I just hope I didn't have enough involvement with them in the first place, and I hope my survival mode is in high gear and in ethical grounds. I say nothing about my current comfort zone.

Interesting Spin-off

I write with some idea in mind. I think that if you truly like to do something, such as writing scripts, making songs, or designing software then you should see if you could take a project and finish it through and then, maybe you can research on what people like and if they also pertain to your interests you could pretty much stick with it and make a living off of it while feeling really cool about yourself.

That being said, I think it's really cool to think about what Jesus did for us. Jesus died on the cross practically two thousand years ago. As time has been progressing, I truly want to get to know him more. My problems are made into little pieces because of what Jesus has ultimately done for me. Sure, I'm a human being who has a selfish heart and who wants to destroy and oppress and take vengeance on the little things that people do to be evil! Presuming that it's sort of wrong, I should try to not be overreacting. The consistency rate occurs only because there is a discerning mention of doing something positive for myself that could prolong a painful feeling. To get out of this phase, I am pretty much going to have to pick it up and review my limits and privileges.

The fun part about this whole matter is that I get to mention what went wrong in a truthful manner and be laughing inside the whole time. I also get to say things in a nice and direct way that would mean that things need to be done to project things into a better situation. In other words, I need to try my hands in leading and not overreacting to negative responses.

For all the wrong things that's been done to me for trying to be under the table and not so noticeable and not wanting to follow the advice of selfish and misguided people, I am fine with all the mistreating that they have given me. I have this test which is to lead them and not overreact to it with just my emotions.

Conflict can be exciting

In circumstances that have a lot of heat, people can sometimes resort to selfish tactics to get what they want. By placing their own standards on some level of preference, it creates a bad yoke that can be tossed out eventually. What I mean by this is that sometimes people have reasons for taking action that don't really make any sense to an average person. In other words, you can sometimes hear people complaining about others behind their backs because they are constantly overreacting due to a lot of stress. This happened to bother me at one point because I thought it was being powerful when you talk bad about someone.

I'm not really worried about these little things anymore because I have had interest in neutralizing these situations. People sometimes are stubborn about changing, but appealing to them about something by placing God in the picture can be really edifying and encouraging. It takes a lot of discernment and willingness to understand my personal levels of aggression. I guess it can build up when you try to negotiate with people who think they are competent and then they end up overreacting to the circumstance.

I really see things a little better now. I don't really have to worry so much about it anymore. No matter what people who have done wrong want to advice me in, I sort of need to lead them in a better direction to ensure something good. Even if it's impossible, the personal effort is worth noting without getting personally hurt and avoiding indecent approaches.

It's okay to open up.

Today, I write with a bittersweet smile on my mind. I think sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed about inexplicable things, but I feel like I can handle it without too much of problems. I really enjoy a lot of things that happen to my life and can also not be so mad about things, if the situation is not working out. I usually thrive when I'm in a rut by leading people. I've been trying to be careful about how I need to open up. I've also been trying to not give myself too much credit in general.

I guess people telling you that there's a fundamental concern does not always create enough light. With people making these truly bad calls with me, it pretty much details a lot about their insecurity and with me changing the situation around it's supposed to be good. I finally see the way I was supposed to feel. To feel a little hurt about something, it's not always good to maximize that feeling. I think it's getting closer to Presto for me!

There is power in knowledge. Being fully honest with others and seeking to be in genuinely in love about Jesus, maybe there's something normal about it.

Writing about human nature

I realize the amount of hard work some people who get to the top do. It's really inspiring to figure how much pain that they might have passed through. To have the longing patience with the right attitude, it just helps to store up a lot of good treasures. Some things are probably not worth mentioning in light of some extremist behaviors.

I've been using writing as a tool to try to open up in an unoffensive way. To have people react to me as like they were flipping the handle, it makes me feel a little sheepish. I think it's a natural reaction that happens to people who don't feel hurt with what they are doing. To finally open up the heart and look beyond the fleshly condition, it's bringing me a lot more comfort that there's more to life than just people placing their unjustified worries with me. I think this just means to me that I need to lead in a heart-felt manner, have a lot of patience, and not be so worried or dreadful about the future with creating some misses. Rebounding is such an awesome thing when it occurs. To do it while maintaining good composure and being a normal person and finally getting everyone to come to terms with you, it pretty much opens up doors.

It's time to make it work

Not everyone can succeed in life or be really open with you. I think that's why you could sure use a little help from time to time with others who genuinely care for you. With people trying to direct you while them feeling repressed frustration, it gets sometimes a little hard to understand what they are complaining about with you.

I've been pretty stuck, and I just want to get out of it now. The best things that I value in this world can only persist by continually living in a continuance of struggles. I don't think I really need to go at it alone now. To be in a new direction and living with a little bit of pressure, it's important to get out of problems with a good attitude. It's important to not to blow up and be so angry about life, as I am prone to being. I guess others can relate to my situation. I'm pretty much just an individual who wants to transpire to lead in a good direction.

That Humble Feeling

This post is just about me releasing all my worries onto this small text box. I've always thought that having a certain emotion that contained a little overwhelming feeling would help me to get through the toughest obstacles. I think sometimes people fail to realize what they are doing wrong and become totally empowered into blaming someone else for their own misery. It could be even with them trying to stand up for someone. What I think occurs is that they feel egotistical and happy about what they are trying to impose on someone else.

It seems to be like their feelings need to be clarified in a loving direction by someone who could lead them. In the context of religion and legalism, I don't find them to be the solution to life. It's more of a distraction, rather than the answer to living out life. What you were born with and accepting some sort of misnomer does not always seem to hit the right places when faced with opposition.

I personally been wanting to show love to others, despite all the annoyances with their unreasonable impositions. I seem to be getting a lot of arguments and full-content breaths from basically people I come across. Just asking has brought me some confusion and triumphs. Perhaps, God knows that I'm listening to everyone's advice and that I have to still rely on God for all comfort when I cannot find it through people. I don't need to focus on theories; I practically want life. Right now, it's really important to get out of a jam in a likable standard.

This is just another post

I finally feel like I'm writing to an open space. I have my own personal psychology. I feel so comfortable just writing where everyone has the liberty to see it, if they choose. Maybe, it's bad for me to always go around and advertise that I have a blog. It must have been really horrible for me to test my writing. I basically went through a funk when I sent out a lot of e-mails. I was trying to get a clearer grasp of reality. Things were bothering me, but I was not intending on hurting anyone because of it. I feel that being direct with a purpose, especially long paragraphs that transcend several pages should be sufficient reason for me to vent whatever is needed to that person.

To do it in a literary manner with perfect grammar, nice speech, and average discernment pretty much encompasses my premature style of making myself a struggling writer. I think having nothing to write about it, but the pastime has brought me a lot more bizarre events with overly sensitive people. They have formed like a mob and pretty much ousted me from their party. If I ever show up again, they will pretty much notify the high officials and I get busted with a restraining order. Ouch, those things are really touchy and take a long time to heal from for the other guy who put it on you. For me, I'm just trying to neutralize the situation. Not that easy when the other guy is explaining his situation and you want to sympathize but something inside of you wants to take over and just literally drill him for being so wrong.

Life continues in the direction of the opposite or the positive, I suppose there's nothing good to expect out of everyone sometimes. To be accepting of it is pretty much my ultimate challenge.

I pretty much just want to get a job where I can make my own schedule, not really intrude on other people's lives, and be pretty lucrative in it. I also would like to repent from personal endeavors that are going to harm me on the long run, if another close person I get attached to finds out.

I just need to let life run its course, while listening avidly to what everyone wants me to do. I'm pretty lost with that direction right now, in how everyone says I should be doing something a particular way because they do not understand how I am feeling. I guess I'm a pretty mellow person, and I just need to open up better to give others room to compromise with me. This situation is something that is going to go on for a long time. The more ruts I go through, the less I want to commit suicide so I think I'm not going nuts because I'm just feeling more empowered.

I also want to work out. I want to get everyone back on my Facebook again. I also want to get taller, even though the dream has been fading away. I don't want to be shy anymore and face my problems head on without running away after I try to initiate a negotiation process. I don't want to be worried about getting hurt and then start lambasting by shouting and yelling at the person and then end up feeling like I need the person in my life. I just want to be really cool with everyone in this world. If the person is hard to get along with, then I have no problem negotiating a basic friendship with them. Disagreeing somewhere does not mean you can't live peacably with everyone.

Feeling is there, just need to persist

The reason why I write this passage today is to just self-motivate myself. I've finally come to terms with how I write. The mistakes that I've made are not entirely that bad, and I think the situation unfolds itself by sometimes allowing your instincts to take over. This is sometimes an even more huger mistake to rely on ourselves instead of a greater source.

I know it feels like a total contradiction with having to lower ourselves and totally consider others. I think the major part of life is to basically just be yourself, a unique creature who originated in some time ago in a certain sphere of space and time.

I am totally comfortable now with writing about whatever it is with others around me. If someone feels uncomfortable, I believe that I want to pursue after that person gently to understand what is bothering them. Letting go is a hard thing to do. The bothersome feeling may always be there, but look on the bright side. Life moves on, and we need to be alive so we can experience more comfortable things.

I guess it's about expecting what you are feeling as you pursue after some discomforts. To take effort in understanding it and being calm and relaxed and not so angry about it is something that could make God proud if you pass the test.

There are simple measures of tests that a person could do. Simply set up something that gives mechanics about failing or succeeding. Live in commitment to others and don't worry about it if you fail. There's always a brighter future to look forward to. Confess your mistakes, repent from that nature, and then move on knowing that there's something good out there waiting for you. If you don't know what it is, there's a loving savior who wants to release you of all your misery and walk of shame. He brings you to life and brings truth that holds peace that cannot be explained without the person experiencing it through faith.

Dealing with Angry People You Love

This is a very controversial topic. I believe that God has given me free space to live at liberty to test certain options, no matter how others may think I'm crazy. It's only hopefully going to be that way momentarily. I believe it requires a lot of mind power and will to establish peace again with those you truly love, no matter how much they bother you at times.

The Bible says "Do not associate with a man given to anger." Proverbs 22:24 I think this means that no matter what people against you say to badger you, you just have to take it without talking back. Basically, for me it just means letting them know you don't agree with them by doing the cold shoulders to them whenever they bring up anything against you. Everything else should be a normal conversation. Just basically, don't argue with these people who are against you. Do not even remotely say a hint about what the subject in question is about. Say a few words to calmly express yourself and then let them rip you apart because if they do it forever then you'll know that someone could be just wasting his time with you. Seriously, do not fall to their level and start planning revenge. Let the silence treatment do the trick. When they ask a question, you don't need to answer even if you feel bad or inclined with someone clearly in opposition to you. Example, police man siding with a guest of the home calling on another former guest who annoys the heck out of him. Annoyances can end just by applying yourself on the giving end as mentioned on the last paragraph.

Let time heal itself and be on a positive-side of mind. It's about gentle persistence that will keep you from feeling bad about your etiquette. No matter where you go, silence is sometimes golden when dealing with arguments. No matter how much it hurts, just listen, while not having to agree with them, and go on your way. When people over-react and do bad stuff to you, just apologize to them and let them know you will keep coming back to sort it out. Work on other things to keep your mind off of this, as it could turn into an endless obsession. Let go of feelings of anger and bitterness and fear of being rejected or conceiving threats.

When it's about going to be the giving end, you need to approach them and initially read any sign of feeling discomfort. If this happens, you just supposedly walk away from them. Come back and follow up with them in a loving manner. Say only one neutral sentence that explains your position. When you ask questions and these people stop answering them, then I think it's an indicator that they are willing to side with you. Just don't persist with the same questions and help them to recovery and give them gentle support. Timing is your best friend when dealing with problems with people. Time is always on your side as long as your heart is filled with the right intent. Also remember that God is longing to open His heart for you to use with others who can be bothersome to you.

This blogger's Simple Rules of Living

1. Don't let temptation make you fall into frustration. Easier said than done. It's a total tuffy when you want to cringe because the person is acting like an imbecile, and you feel totally victimized by him.

2. Stay confident, bold, courageous, and diligent.

3. Listen to your mom. I still have a very highly loving mother and very sorry for those who have lost theirs through them passing away.

4. Lead others in a loving way that is suitable. This is so tough because our preferences are made into impressionable statements sometimes, based on the person's needs. Example, I grab a fork with my left hand. You insist I use my right hand. I've been getting a lot of this lately from people. I think it's from me trying to inspire others by being stupid and writing to them with e-mails that try to lambaste their efforts with helping me because I can't see eye to eye with them. Also, I finally can prove it that they were not good at helping me. Because of this, I have some major problems that are over the hill and causing me to go from a cowboy on a rodeo to a stinking infant on a giant's pinky toe. "Fee-fie-foe-fum, what and where is that gnarly smell coming from? "

I love being human

This is something that I sort of feel. If something does not go well what you write, it's probably best to just deal with it in person. For allowing others to block you from talking to the person, it's only creating more deeper anger with those people who block you. I'm sort of laughing as I write this because it's sort of true. It is super annoying for your friends to like turn against you with a lot of bad reasons and then they start trashing you with even more bad reasons.

They add even more insult by saying that I should get some help. I don't need help. I think they do because they mentioned it first to me. I've never really been thinking like that. I think the best thing to do is to be open to research and to ask questions for what might work best for you in this situation of conflict. I personally like to pursue and initiate peace. I have to really careful to not go off tangent with hurting the person with bad insults, no matter how funny it is to me. I don't want to hurt girls in general because I'd rather be looked up to as a gentleman then go on feeling so much resentment about it. Man, no matter how annoying it is. Just got to suck it up and go in for what you want. Take in a lot of time to research and don't step out of boundary when the opportunity arises.

I'm such a weak writer

hey I think with me writing a lot and touching upon things. I'm finding logical counters and just letting it rip. If this causes you to feel bad, then I don't think you were really supposed to help in the first place. I'm perfectly fine. I know that my system is cleaning itself out through writing about good intentions. I cherish a lot of things more than you can imagine, and God is by my side supporting my every action and move. If my upbringing causes me to laugh now with all the silly efforts to try to help me because I truly like to honor people in friendships and acknowledge them despite whatever chaotic things they do to me, then I think this whole e-mailing thing can disperse.

It's time for me to take some serious action and to sort of disregard what a few guys are trying to do me. I'm afraid that I'm going to need to backtrack and add a little good flavor to it out of intentions of loving people because that's how I've raised myself. This whole facebook thing is a wonderful way of me gauging on people and how we need to make sort of a treaty again. The more collisions that it occurs the more I'm made to deny the trouble of having pride with myself. All of these statements and words find its meaning and these guys were a little off course. I don't think we are on the right page and this is not about me stating that I'm trying to be selfish. I wish they could all just see that they are totally lacking something. It's patience.

Bible verse

2 Chronicles 17:9-10 states "They took copies of the Book of the Law of the Lord and traveled around through all the towns of Judah, teaching the people. Then the fear of the Lord fell over all the surrounding kingdoms so that none of them declared war on Jehoshaphat." Jehoshaphat became the king over Judah after his father passed away after ruling for forty one years. (2 Chron. 16:13) I'm totally amazed by how good kings who feared the Lord brought amazing stability, peace, and inspiration to the people. The Bible talks about how at least some of the kings who did evil in the sight of the Lord brought upon destruction to the land because they were not really doing their job in leading the people to fear God.

Based on 2 Chron 17, it's really important to me in noticing how sometimes enemies are moved to goodness because the people are encouraged under the teaching of the Word. Jehoshaphat sent out some of the best teachers known in his land at that time and it's wonderful how the message spread out to other nations because the people could have been showing good stewardship and telling good testimonies about God.

A thing I surely am sort of pondering about right now, is that sometimes someone may not want to be fully your peaceful ally. It's been really challenging for me in how I could deal with it because of my upbringing of choosing people to be my friends. To this point in time, I need to open myself more to the Lord's attention with me. I think for starter's, it should be about worshipping the Lord wholeheartedly by being ministered upon by others and truly having a heart that's received joy from the Lord through knowing that Jesus has come into your life and set you free to become a new person.

My writing has had some up and down period. I sometimes don't even know what I'm writing. So this whole blog is just about expressing myself. It's so cool to write on a public domain somewhere. Even if I don't get noticed, it's like I don't really mind anymore. I still have this pressure to write really well in a good sense. I've had a countless number of times where I told myself that my writing is very bad. I'm just starting so random again and taking not enough time to edit it and try to make sense. If I do it so badly, then it probably entails to others that I need some help.

I don't really mind anymore what trips people have had with what I've written to them. Instead of resorting to making fun of people on this blog, I personally am going to still stick with my manners. I just love the sense of powerful words flowing from my heart. This yearning desire that never quenches. That causes a few to ponder what I totally want in life. It's a passion that never dies of thirst.

Pretty much, I need to stop on some things that are marked with total brutality in my life. I'm starting to relive with better focus and wisdom. This area of comfort was something that came by free will and absolute inspiration from the Holy Spirit. I keep missing the mark, and I don't want to leave it to some other time to let the Lord reveal to me what He has called me to do.