New Living Template Part 2

Hey, at least I drive a convertible that still drives nice and looks new!

I left with with the third thing that I'm going to do is do my dream job, which is my side job at the moment. I'm trying to become a successful currency trader. I want to become a millionaire with it! There are so many reasons why I want that to happen, but I'm trying to work for it and at the same time, enjoy the style of approach I'm taking it. I really like it actually, and it's pretty cool even though I only know very little of what it's about still. I'm just barely starting to take notice of what I'm doing right and where I need to make adjustments for me. Still, don't take any of my trading recommendations.

The next order of precedence is for me to do personal maintenance. I see it that I'll be showering right after I work out and skipping my trading session, before digging into my dream job. Oh well, it's another one of those hypocritical sessions. It's like it means everything in that I would skip only one level. No, I'm just kidding! I honestly don't think it really matters too much to me. I guess it just feels better after working out to take a shower.

The next step is to worry about my 1000 careers. At the moment, I only have two jobs that I need to juggle around. Still for the average American only dealing with one paying job, I have to deal with two of them! I'm stuck with those two jobs, until my dream job which is my third paying (sometimes losing) job starts making me dividends that I desire. I'm so lazy in my other jobs that I'm not trying to put in a promotion packet at the moment, even though I'm qualified. I guess I'll just get to it then, so that I can maximize my earnings.

The next order that I have installed in line of precedence is what I call play/work. It's a hybrid of being playful and also working on something to add on to my 1000 other jobs. I only have three paying jobs at the moment, but this section is where I get to attempt to have the most fun while I'm depressed about not making enough money in doing something that I think I could potentially make money in.

The last stage which I'm also breaking the rules with and making it first in my line of precedence is play. It deals with friendships, singing horribly and playing the piano alright, MTG, and video games that require me to move around like DDR. Overall, I'm just going to try to follow through all these steps daily even if I only spend like one minute on some of them each day. As long as I did the minimal amount of effort, it's doing something at least and better than nothing. I guess I'll be spending the most times in work and play modes. However, my line of precedence is what I have established and will to try to find some balance in. I think blogging for me is just play also. All this time, I've been writing about what I'm going to do and I consider all this to being playful.

New Living Template Part 1

I have been just sitting here all day just by myself not really doing anything in my bedroom. I've been just thinking to myself, playing some Magic: the Gathering, thinking some more, and playing MTG again. It's not the dream life I had imagined!

I have heard that studies have shown that the human brain can juggle at most seven things at once. In a few minutes, I created my own seven categories that I've been looking at doing in order of precedence that I would prefer.

Right now playing on stuff to just keep myself entertained is right at the top of the list. I'm going to notch it down a little bit and put it right at the bottom of my list.

The first one that I have chosen is the Holy Bible. It's pretty simple for me. I just need to read it. It only takes me about fifteen minutes a day to read about 10 chapters. I still don't know why I can't do it everyday. I'm really serious and not being sarcastic. I don't do it everyday even though I have this list staring at me stating that I need to put the Bible at the top of my list. I guess the main reason is because I have a lot of Christian literature that I'm juggling with at the same time, so I feel a little mentally bogged down. I might just go at it anyway. Doing something or a little everyday is better than not doing anything at all, so I'll just go with that idea and take it easy for now.

The next step for me is to exercise. I'm just doing some push up, sit-ups, and doing a run. The reason why I don't do this everyday is because it's on my mind to work out twice a day! I just get bogged down with mentally thinking again and then I go into play mode with MTG. I guess I'm thinking about trying some pointless yoga exercises to see if it will make me any taller still. It did make me grow half an inch more permanently and I'm not lying. It seriously did well beyond my final growth stages. I guess I'll just do the standard exercise for now. As I become more advanced later on, I'll switch it up and work on getting the six pack I so want! At night before I go to sleep I'll just do those stretches so that it will allow me to sleep better and just get knocked out from forcing myself to stay awake longer than my body wants to and also being uncomfortable being in those stressed positions from trying yoga!

If I was taller, then yeah! 

My Cool Photos

I realize that my cell phone is packed with lots of interesting and funny photos. It's not really that alluring where I'll get a million likes, but it's decent enough to have a few here and there to appreciate my effort.

The Path to Exile card is an awesome card for the Modern format in Magic: the Gathering. All of my buddies are frustrated or enthralled by it. In fact, about 98% of my playing buddies have expressed interest or acquired this card. It can be a pretty effective card, but will run you about 5 dollars a card.

This is what my best friend tried to make, which was his own cheap version of Magic: the Gathering (MTG). It's so funny because when he ordered his own designed deck, he couldn't wait long enough and wanted to play against my famed decks. I declined his offer because I just didn't see it happening! I ended up creating a steady online MTG account for him, and that's where we played and I slaughtered him in!

This is pretty much my computer desk and where I get to just hang out at and do my work whenever I feel inspired. 

Beginning Days of New Trading Style

Warning: Do not follow my trading recommendations.

I am trading on a demo account because it's my dream to make it big while being a currency trader. This is my attempt at becoming a millionaire. I'm basically sharing material because I figure why not try to teach something that I don't understand, so that I can become more knowledgable at it. 

Basically, my system is a pretty boring setup that mainly excites me. What I just found out is that when the bottom four indicators become in sync then I get to search the lower time frames down to the one hour looking for the same thing and for the the four vertical dots to light up in favor of the same direction. 

Then I get to put a stop loss using the trend line and then that's all the info I have for now. I've been winning and losing and not caring because it's a demo account! I'm just playing all sorts of risky business with it while attempting to learn how to be successful at it.

I'm assuming that no one really understands what I was talking about unless the reader is into this sort of stuff also! Anyhow, let me state that don't follow my recommendations. I don't know anything really. The way that I learned is by trying out other people's failing systems as well and while wanting to beam myself on the head from being frustrated, I came up with something that I find to be easy to work with. Everyone is different, and their journey is also going to vary. 

A few great professionals are out there, and it's like impossible to find them. The only way to get good at this is to come up with your solution that makes you money. You can share it if you would like, but not a lot of people are really going to trust that it works. There will be some daring people out there though with nothing to lose. I was one of those daring people who kept on losing because I paid for their education, which is a mistake. Don't pay for education, get it free! 

Excited About Life

There's a lot of joy and happiness in the Lord. I'm in a really blessed predicament. I guess it's possible for us to relate that people in this time of history have a lot of advantages compared to what it was like back then. I think the problem is really from feeling bad about yourself after something happened and not being able to make something better come out of it. I'm just thinking about why people just want to give up in life and kill themselves.

I'm starting to get annoyed with seeing some homeless people asking me for some spare change. Regardless though, I sympathize with them and think they should get some help from a professional who can get them on the right track. It could just be that they were just born with some type of ailment that keeps them from maintaining a job!

I would hate being a homeless person. When I felt like I had nowhere else to run to, I went for driving a truck. I would get a fat butt and high cholesterol level which I would abhor so much, but then again I am paying my bills and can have a chance to go home to an overweight wife as well. The worst level of human beings is that it's pretty common in that honest folks answered with how it's very difficult to manage your feelings and have total control over your worries and to also be willing about being aware of your emotions that cause you some pain that you just want to throw out and naturally forget about after letting it take place.

With so much to write about, I'm just feeling so much at awe and in peace. A lot of it is because I'm excited about finding my path in enjoying fellowship with Jesus and getting to know the Lord through reading every page of the Bible.

Reached 31 K Views

Out of the nine years I've had this blog, I think I've been at my site about 15,000 times. The rest? I don't know for sure where those views are coming from. Could they be from my potential enemies who want to get me in trouble for writing something bad? I'm not really that much of an idiot to do something like that, but I'll make fun of the person, if I think he's reading it. He can just go fuming along even more and stay off of my blog, after I ask him about the post I made about him.

 This is something random. I just realized that North and South Korea combine to have the worst suicide rate in the world. For North Koreans, it's mainly dealing with stress and to avoid punishment from the totalitarian regime. On the other hand, for South Korea, it deals with social pressure and family problems. I disappointed my parents so many times, but they still have the best hopes for me. I guess that's how you avoid feeling bad about yourself because you willingly did it, after being mad at them!

According to List 25 at http://list25.com/25-countries-with-the-highest-suicide-rates-in-the-world/5/,
the two Korean nations combine for 67.4 suicides out of 100,000. It is well-above the highest in the world. At first, I thought people were being sympathetic with me when they asked me if I was feeling alright, especially when I keep my head down and move around like that. It seems like a depressing look for a short man! However, I now feel offended. I don't really carry around personal stress or family problems that make me want to go kill myself. I want to go solve those problems, even if it ends up with me making things worse and getting people angry and firing off restraining orders at me from left to right! Out of all the nations, Koreans are killing themselves off the most. I thought it was those Japanese who invaded Korea who had the worst suicide rate. The Japanese do have one of the worst, but their 18.5 out of 100,000 suicide is a major gap. I guess out of all the nations, in Dante's Inferno, we would be seeing a lot of Koreans in the Forest of Suicides at the seventh circle which depicts violence out of the ninth circle (aka treachery) being the worst!

At first, I was cool with people asking me if I was doing fine. The saying is that ignorance is bliss, but now after reading about why Koreans commit suicide, I'm feeling offended about people asking me if I'm doing alright. I'm just going to say "Yes, I'm doing fine. Thank you for checking in with me." I guess it's a good thing to know that someone out there cares about me, besides my mom. My mom believes that she did a bad job in raising me. I agree completely! I let T.V. shows raise me up into having a brain that doesn't pay attention to anything I don't want to. I can't even force myself to pay attention sometimes. I have to ask people to repeat some phrases because I was thinking about something else during that time.

After having a brain that struggled like a mentally challenged individual, I sort of got out of that funk and now it feels a little more effortless and more about battling my lazy tendencies to make myself into a better person and more happier. I feel very content with how things are going though. I just go after things while I'm blind-sided a lot. It usually takes me some time to get better at it. I've had my opportunities, but they were so weird! I have to admit that it wasn't really conventional for me, so I guess I let them coast on by.

Message I Sent To Girl

The girl isn't very shy about her age. I think she's 35 now. Wow, age creeps out pretty fast especially for those older than you, but shhhh, don't mention that to her. She probably is going to love the big 4-0 like Jennifer Garner did. Why did she divorce the hunky Ben Affleck anyway?

Okay the girl I wrote to is a lady and a woman and a female and lot of things that make up the same description of being just a girl! I was just playing with words right there. She's now a counselor and she doesn't volunteer any responses back to me. I guess it's because I don't really need it. Yay!

This message that I wrote is pretty much like a turning point, it's harsh for only one person. The person who put a restraining order on me better be gulping.

hey it's seriously a good plan for me to wait until i have a sixpack and become a millionaire before I come visit again. I'm glad I made that promise to God. Thanks for the times you greeted me. I won't forgot those moments. I'm not going to put you down unless you do something inappropriate. With you not responding to me, it doesn't really deter me. You have to make mention of it with me, if you want this to stop. I'm sure you can handle it because all these years, you never blocked me for talking about anything. If I'm lucky, I will come across paths with you again and make some of my own effort come to fruition. Well in heaven, nothing matters in this life but for now, it's all fun and games for me with what I'm doing here now. I picked up a very strong tool to prevent myself from writing very ugly messages with people. Lee isn't exempt from those. I'm not apologizing and I will have fun describing it in court while laughing at her fuming with so much anger. I don't care if she wants another three years or 12 years to life, she can have it, but I'm making fun of her because I don't care about her feelings now.

That's me in the sexy outfit! :) :) :)

Simple Plan

The last post I talked about working at adding friends on Facebook who supported or put a restraining order on me. I guess you can count the official title of having one from a guy and a girl separately as multiple restraining orders! I don't give a care. It's a total of 2, only two more than what the average people in this world will ever have in America! Even more unique is that I got one from each gender when I was a really crazy, psychotic go-getter. My dating orientation isn't really what I'm trying to imply here though.

I'm sure those church people are like "Give it up" to me and playing the cold shoulders card now. Yeah, I'm pretty good at making that happen. Yeah, I got kicked out of a church! Something to really laugh about even if you have no ties with me. It's great, I don't care! Hahaha! Seriously, I'm not making a sarcastic remark there. To make myself focus and not get too carried away with my social games with people, I'm just going to wait until I have some washboard abs. I'll let that to also mean going through my own hardships and triumphs.

Once I obtain it, I'm going to go around testing my subjects. I will be saying like "I want to add you as a friend. You denied me so many times, but since I have a sixpack now, I have this newfound confidence and positive energy." Some of them are not going to be that joyful about it. If they talk about it behind my back, I'm going to find it to be funny that they are doing that anyway. Honestly, who honestly goes around bugging people to add him on Facebook while sporting some rock-hard abs that no one really has. It's a novelty and really hard for outsiders to support the person who I am bothering. Maybe, they'll be like saying I'm a show-off until I make some positive remarks about their friend. It will be hard to stay mad at me forever. I did it when I was an irrational kid but I had glasses back then. I don't have those trusty spectacles for me now.

I seriously value getting my health with those special hard abs and confidence-builder above being friends with some people who said yes to a restraining order on me. When I have a sixpack, I might even wait to become a millionaire. Then yeah, with all the positivity I'm portraying, it will hard to feel bad for me and me looking down on people is going to be so much easier. However, if I say those disparaging comments while wanting to actually be their friends; it might just come across me just being mad at them for what they did in the past. A restraining order is never going away and it's going to be used to make them look bad for life because it's fun for me to toy with the enemy's weapons.

Crazy Synopsis

Here's the crazy synopsis I just thought up about my old restraining orders. Because they expired even with the people making an effort to extend it, from applying my new foundation of examining the desires and intentions of the offending party, I'm not really frustrated by it at all! Well, no duh, from how I worded it.

I get to say all I want to them now in person because it's not officially illegal for me being around them anymore. They no longer have the protection of the court to sustain their silly nonsense with me. They are not really going to be people you can take very seriously because of my planned conduct with them. I'm going to also be working at adding them on Facebook too, ahahaha!

Besides if they decide to go for another one, I have all this backdrop story I can fudge along the way to make fun of them in court and then while I had my laughs that exceed my whole lifetime which is exaggerating in that I'll do my best story-telling to talk about how I offended them so that I'm laughing so much and so hard and they are just fuming even more angry; I tell them that since I lived up to not bothering them for the default amount of time the court gave me, I won't mind doing it again and that it will be very beneficial for me because they have something to talk about which will affect their personal relationships and not my own relationships with people because they are already intact. Basically in a nutshell, no matter how much they want to downplay the seriousness factor which will be inevitable by them, they still went for a court order and that's always going to go against them for life. When people find out with my social style of ambush, it's really going to suck for them.

Making Some Changes

I'm going to make this blog a little more personal by sharing a bit more cool things. I guess I'll just write every once in awhile and then add some of my photos. I've been working on some music too and there really is a way for me to share it. It's not really that good and looks like it's going to be a pretty hefty process for mastering it.

In the meantime, I feel very energetic about going to the gym everyday and being around attractive people even if I don't ever say anything to them. I guess then I'll be just going out to meet new people with common interests. With the relationships I currently have, it's quite decent and stable, I think I can make it better.

I'm going to be honest with myself. I don't think this blog is ever going to be that big. I'm just doing it for fun and what I share isn't really going to be hurting anyone. Well, I'll probably be saying that I'm going to be offending some people and then write about it without caring about their feelings so much anymore now.

The old church with the restraining order that expired isn't really much of a topic to me anymore now. I just don't fully care about it. Something new, my car seat isn't really working and my legs are fully extended for my short height. I'm driving it around while using the back seat cushion as a booster seat! It doesn't really bother me too much at the moment, so I guess I'm fine until the dealer can get it fixed for me again.

It Really Works!

I have found that I am able to better control my inner rage that makes me go e-mail people irritating messages for scaring them unintentionally. It's really about understanding the person's intentions and desires. From trying to think about all of that while I'm feeling so angry and in a mood for busting some heads, I don't think I'm really worth the trouble for those people. I guess if I treat it as a game, then I now know how to play it for the win!

It's basically just thinking about what they want, like they just don't want to be bothered because they don't know how to handle it. It was really just that simple! Because they couldn't, they signed me up for a civil restraining order for about three years. I was so confused and in a world of controlled rage during that time. I really couldn't send them any more messages or go up to give them a nice hard punch on the back and tell them "Good job" sarcastically.

Looks like, I didn't have to go through any anger management class. The Lord's grace and goodness working in me while fellowshipping with other like-minded believers was good enough for me. Actually when those restraining orders ended after having heard actual threats that they were trying to extend it, I was on cloud nine! I don't mind talking about it again with the judge, all for their embarrassment and for my laughing pleasure now. I guess by telling them that I'm going to make fun of them and describing it in a great way while everybody is around with just not caring, it's just going to make them be not taken that seriously and in addition, just deter them from signing me up for another court injunction. The only hope I have for them while feeling bad is that they left the church for good by the time I go visit. It will be then just like a relaxing in-and-out trip.

New Stuff To Try

All of a sudden I'm just trying to surround myself with new faces and among that crowd get to be around pretty and attractive women. Haha! That was pretty fun to write for me, and the attempt that I'm going at for it is true. 

I'm going to be such a rough and tough meanie to that old church group. I just so know it! I truly hope they don't gather at that same building anymore, when I do get there someday. I don't know when I'll be there because it could be never again! 

I'm back to developing a pretty healthy routine for myself. Of course, it's pretty different from what would originally attract people. Sometimes, a person who wears sheep's clothing (like a Ph. D. holder and a good guy image) could probably have the best intentions of trying to pocket your measly twenty dollars every so often! You basically just give him a nice tip just to hear him talk for two hours about his life's work

Interesting Way To Hang Out

Okay, I think I'm normal here but I'm interested in hanging out with completely new people, especially if they are attractive women! I have a source that I look up and then when I get information that this pretty girl is showing up and it's well within my reason to go while fitting my schedule and interests, then why not?

I'll just go hang out and try to appreciate them in the beginning. I might just encourage them to bring out their best behavior so that I have a lot of fun hanging out with them. I've learned from my mom and experiences that women love being appreciated and hate it deep down if you don't like them. They are sensitive like that, even the ones who act the most masculine!

Yeah, so it makes sense that this one girl goes even more crazier and hates me more when I respond to her with sarcastic remarks while making fun of her. No wonder, she kept on texting me back with statements like "Psycho!" and "Get off my lawn!" Also, their frustration just comes from you acting retarded to them. For once, the guy has an unspoken rule and duty of taking care of his lady while being the knight in shining armor! I got it from a song by Kenny Rogers.

Don't reveal to those types of cranky women personally who you are giving a hard time on accident or purposefully that they are like your guinea pigs. They will hate you even more for life! It's like having proper manners by making appreciative comments that you truly mean to a woman. They sort of melt secretly when they are mad at you. Slowly, the negativity goes away from them and they become like more functional adults with you. It just takes time in other words. I'm just noticing there's something that triggers their craziness, but bringing them to the point where they won't genuinely overreact with you is tough. I've done it where I've made them stay quiet the whole time and get them to make an effort to be stoic. I haven't had a chance to know what I was doing yet when they did act genuinely like a better person to me. I guess the day I do is the day I actually find a very pretty girlfriend haha.

I'm revealing all of this information for free because I'm impressed that I know this much while being a very short man! It's just funny to me to write about this topic and to get better at some problem that's been trying to bust my chops all this time. Just because a man is short doesn't really mean that he is excluded from drama that girls put on people sometimes! I thought I had a pass at life from being my own height, and it hasn't worked out to my favor anymore. From not understanding things and developing frustration out of trying to put in the least effort, I got my butt kicked so many times. The world isn't that forgiving.

I guess looking and appreciating a woman's physical beauty in a way can uphold the woman's self-esteem. I don't really know what my mom was explaining about when I asked her why women put on make-up. She was telling me in literally a different language. Well, with the guys being the average, frustrated chump so they end up doing stuff to compensate for their boredom, I can see how some just get lost in their own world and never really find a way out of their own deception. The up and down feelings just won't go away, unless you fearlessly take them on and not have problems with yourself while being at the lowest point in your life. There's just no better way, either than facing yourself and spending time meditating on something that brings fulfillment. The search is over for me, but I can only say it and not transfer everything that makes of me to someone. That's how it is for mostly everyone. I found it through attempting to develop a relationship with Christ while studying the pages of the Bible. I don't do it enough though because I do other things. Hopefully, the witness that I'm trying to give will be enough for me to engage enough of it for my hungry spirit.

Well, This is Interesting

Just when I thought I was giving up on Magic: the Gathering, my best friend comes along and starts liking it too! I think I have one of the best Modern decks ever assembled or at least among the top 10 Modern decks. The reason for that is because I've played against those really strong decks and tested against it. I manage to beat them using what I call the sideboard. The sideboard (SB) is in a tournament format, 15 additional cards that you can interchange among your own minimum of a 60 card deck.

You are allowed to have more than 60 in a standard MTG tournament, but it might be a disadvantage in that you might not draw what you need when the opponent is working a crazy combo! Because of my sideboard, I lay waste to all those decks of former champions. I have had all this time to just test and continuously re-test my deck against those super strong decks. I'm fairly satisfied that I've performed a flawless victory against them a few times already! It's a blue/white combination, which is fairly common to see in the final match of a tournament. Last year, the best deck of the main tournament was blue/white, so it's just a coincidence because I don't follow that champion's strategy.

I have modified my deck like so many times and then all of a sudden, I just received an inspiration that I wanted to go by and it just worked out for me. Obviously with practically unlimited time, I can build a deck that will beat multiple past champion's deck with one deck, but conceivably the time isn't nearly enough for me to be able to be a very tough contender for the title and earning a sweet prize money! I've also had the privilege of playing against other crazed MTG addicts and so from observing their strategies, I adopted a few of their ideas as well and continuously redesigned my ultimate, recreational deck that is all fairplay!

I even have an idea how I can virtually win every single game on my first turn, if there's a no restrictions list in the card game! It wouldn't be legal in a professional tournament though. Oh well. The makers of this popular trading card game need to make money by feeding to the addictions of these super crazed gamers by making it fun for everybody and a continuous challenge.

So my best friend is keeping me around longer with busting out my deck. He really loves it because I let him play with it to teach him, and he even performed a flawless victory against me too with it! He likes it that he chose one of my colors for his own favorites and he decided to use one of my useful cards for his own deck. I'm pretty familiar with the other color he is playing and from the research he put in, I say that he's starting out at around a novice/intermediate level.

Don't Think Height Really Matters

I'm starting to think after my hour at the gym that being short doesn't really matter. I feel good after completing my workout, so just saying something to an attractive and taller woman doesn't really mean anything to me. All I'm feeling is that man, I'm struggling with not liking her being taller than me.

That's my inner core and conscious thought, but once I settle in and get to know her personality as a friend, I just don't care! Basically, whoever the person God allows me to marry, yeah, I said allow! With that person, if I feel good about her and she feels the same way about me than jackpot!

Just be yourself, keep meeting people, and be self-confident about tying the knot with someone. Finding a common ground of interest really helps a lot because it makes bonding a little easier for me.

It just comes down to asking a girl you like if you want to hang out with her and if she says yes, then yeah, it's all good. A guy I know was like all "Woah" when one girl he was attracted to agreed to hang out with her. Funny times and I still remember because I wasn't laughing back then when I witnessed that incident.

If she says no, you struck out or lost all your money while playing poker or something even worse of a feeling like that. It is what it is, but just try to understand her intentions and maybe, if it's still good you could find a work-around.

Secret To Dating

I've discovered the ultimate secret to dating. I'll say it in two words- work out.

Seriously, don't take a shower, shave and use that shiny soap and lotion that makes your face all clean and beautiful. Don't even try putting on your best clothes.

No, do all those things! Working out is the secret that gives the guys that macho feeling of confidence before going on a date. My mom even tells me that my face looks much more toned after I work out. It's a secret that I have uncovered from just messing around in the past.

I've successfully bonded with all girls, even the taller ones. I once hung out with a girl, and I didn't even know I was on a date with her. Yeah, it was at Disneyland just me and her. She was just talking and talking and talking... Was that a date? I don't know for sure. I didn't work out that day because I thought walking through Disneyland was a work out. She didn't call me back. She's a pretty hot girl, but I don't think she's right for me. I still would like to deal with her weirdness just because of how hot I think she is. Man, I would be really tempting to do something with her, but okay since she's gone from my life, I'm not going to worry about it.

Personally Assessing Self

I'm doing a P.A.S. A personal assessment of self. Like that's going to be easy for me because of my personal bias. Yeah, I'm the king of my own imaginative world. In the infinite universes, there are infinite clones of me that make something happen. Therefore, we are all alike in some way. No, I'm just kidding.

Actually a close friend likes to think that way because he isn't satisfied with his life. I guess the saying goes that misery enjoys company and all that he's probably doing for a defensive mechanism to keep on living in this world is to relate himself to others. I don't really see how that solves any situation or solution constantly thinking like that, so it gets annoying for me to hear him preach about his speculation often! Anyway, in that infinite universe of his, he should try to tap into his billionaire and socialite alter-egos and try to get something going in this world. It's actually pretty entertaining to discuss his view with my other friends.

Okay, because of extreme bias and lack of focus where I might want to end up binging on inherently, egotistical remarks, I will try to limit to Wikipedia's List of stock characters.

Honestly, I am getting some likes with my comments my friends, but it's like more haters than lovers for me. Oh well, I'm going to keep on going and give all my effort for the Lord! I'm not quitting because all of that energy is for the Lord whenever I can remember and get off of my sinning nature. Anyway, I have refrained from doing something for like three weeks now. I'm trying to turn it into longer than three years and it feels like torture right now.

Back to the stock characters, to sum it up in a few words, it's a stereotypical character you label in fiction. I'm going to try to closely give off where I see myself: okay it's going to get a little gruesome and have to swallow some pride to come off honest here.

I'm a

• nerd
• spoiled kid
• everyman
• fall guy
• geek
• sidekick
• spear carrier
• strawman 
• treasure guardian
• vice

I'm basically ordinary and nothing fancy going on except that I have something very intelligent that I'm working on. I am a pretty hardy individual, and I might pair up with someone whose a lot taller than me like Batman! I could be his stocky and unagile Robin!

Style of Talking While Agitated

Talking with people while being straight-up is very healthy. The consequences that occur even though it can be scary and wanting to not think about it is actually normal. It's just that I don't think everybody in the world wants to pay attention to those details that make you feel even more weaker. Putting up a fight in the mental category is a lot more normal than I thought, but it also would take awhile for people to get there. It doesn't really matter, even if you don't understand the person being that way with you. 

Currently, I see it as a fun puzzle. I sort of want to fix and resolve it, but when dealing with girls, you need to be more sensitive and do a sort of build-up approach with them. Even if they are complaining with you in person what you did and they don't want to care anything about having a relationship with you, there's a way to heal the fall-out. I know because I have done it somewhat with my sister who wanted to just be angry with me being a jerk to her for a long time. She wanted to ignore the facts and just act inappropriate with me because she was just being a baby like that at the time. 

Yeah, it's a build up and takes time. I told a female friend who was really holding back her frustrations and fury with me that I take awhile to solve these types of problems. She said that it's okay. I think what she meant by that is that it's ideal naturally to let things take time. It gives the other person an opportunity to spend a little time on their own. You can't really be with the person when you identified she has a problem with you. In those few months of not really socializing with her, I'm taking the time to figure out the solution. It just fittingly works out, if done properly and with this touch of sensitivity.

The very angry and old female friend gave me a few outs which I recognized. After socializing and bonding with her a little in less than like fifteen minutes, she was like telling me good job. I was sort of natural at communicating with her and making it enjoyable for both of us because I was lucky to be interested in her field of study, which is dealing with people.  

The build-up with her came from like texting her very positive messages. After we agreed on a meetup date, I even sent her a message the day before and said that I am going to be happy to see her. She was very receptive and responded back. She really wanted to work with me on figuring on a problem she had with me. The moment I walked in, she wanted a hug but I was like "nah", I just gave her a handshake. I sort of hate her method of hugging. 

It was all like setting up a positive environment and being sensitive to her needs. I realized what I did was funny but I understood it gave off a wrong impression to her. She really liked how I asked close friends about my actions and was impressed by how I took a smooth direction afterwards. We bonded fairly well yesterday, and it wasn't all magical or anything. It took a little effort from both our ends.  

Meeting New People

It looks like from having adopted a new way of coping for my issues dealing with people, I don't really have to feel so grouchy a lot longer than I normally would feel. From being the short guy I am, I honestly thought nobody was really going to take me so seriously for the things I said or wrote to people about.

I guess it all started when people heard about me charging after a co-worker at his house. I came over because I was angry that he didn't want to resolve an issue he had with me. He just wanted to be left alone because he felt that I pushed his buttons too much. From feeling like I was a really short guy, I felt anything he talked about in the moment didn't have any meaning. Also with him being a guy, I thought he could sweat it out and come back to normal. Maybe it was just a temporary thing, where I caught him wanting to be in a weak situation.

I no longer feel so bad about it, but that's not the point. When I saw him again, it looked like he was in a mood for just laughing at himself about the incident. I think he wanted to find an excuse to not worry about he did with me and wanted to think that everything was going to turn out fine. My reaction was pretty normal, but nobody really wants to understand that and they want to place a high-value judgement with me because they like to think of me as being a pretty bright person. Even my mom frequently mentions in her lectures with me about how I'm pretty smart and that I can figure things out on my own. It's like Mom accepts how I want to go about situations on my own occasionally.

How would I have done it differently now that I understand what I did wrong? I just needed to say the right sentences. I didn't really point out that my old co-worker was being inappropriate and ticking me off so much! Nobody really likes to admit he or she is mad, when it's all about maintaining the pride. I had a really hard time maintaining those emotions, but now from really making the effort to think about human nature and the intentions that went into play, it doesn't seem so hard now.

How Everything is Progressing

It's going okay, I suppose. Looks like I am content with my Magic: the Gathering decks so I won't really be testing them anymore. I had fun in the process of making them even though it sucked having to lose a lot of games while doing so.

With the currency trading, I'm back to using a trend following system and so far it has pretty good results for me. It's usually like that for me, but now since I'm with a non-obtrusive broker (ECN) and it's all legal, I might actually have a shot of pulling in pretty consistent profit.

Putting Magic aside now, I'm ready to just give my focus to reading the Bible, working out, trading, and hanging with friends. A lot of things have pretty much been irrelevant for me and figuring it out without blowing up internally has been a benefit for me. I guess the self-control is originating from thinking about the intentions or agenda.

Overall, really the best way with doing something is to pretty much do it yourself! You can think about it, but doing it isn't really going to be that easy. Also learning from others in that basically testing out their method really works too, but you have to see it for yourself first.

Overall, I don't think I really need to go for a Master's now. If my dream is to pretty much make a living off of being a trader, then I might as well go straight for it now.

Giving It My All

Even if I am not that good-looking and suck at a lot of things while being a short man, I am still going to give an effort to what I have. Whether it's just little I can do or a lot, it's all going to be for the Lord! Whenever I forget to do something and remember later on, it's back to making my best effort for Jesus.

All the experiences I have had that has made me what I am, I offer it up to Him and will continue to live that way. Reading the Bible everyday and tuning into a Bible-teaching ministry has really been a benefit for my spirit-filled life. I have been going at this for a long time now. At first, I didn't know what I was worshipping but these days I am understanding better my relationship with God.

Living for God's Glory

1 Cor 10:31 and Col 3:17 both mention that whatever you do, you should be doing it for the glory of God. The New Testament practically talks a lot of Jesus, so Christians are supposed to do everything in his name. Even if nobody cares in our lives, the focus should be on pleasing the Lord. 

I guess that makes my life a lot more meaningful now. I'm going to give my all with having fun then because that's what I like to do and make it a healthy thing for the Lord's name. I'm pretty much trying to wise up now and getting my mind off of playing Magic: the Gathering. I'm pretty much back to trading. I guess I'm just going to have fun with it and try to learn something about it everyday. I'll just be doing some reading and experimenting on some new technique daily, along with maintaining my preferences.  

I should also be following up on some chores as well, so I'll be getting at that then. I'm really going to need to then just be wise. With all the jokes that I'm putting down, I'm dedicating them to God even if nobody laughs and get offended. I'm trying my best at least and will keep doing that. With all the socializing that I'm trying to do from being forever a newbie, I'm going to give over my full effort from intuition and everything I got to the Lord. Even if I get some individuals complaining to me and tempting me to get really angry and they don't want to appreciate what I'm trying to get done with them, I'm going to still give it all the Lord.

This practically all means that I should be reading the Bible on a daily basis and praying to the Father through the Lord Jesus. Basically, my daily life during the week is going to be about reading the Bible, working out, doing something related to trading, and looking for an opportunity to make human contact with someone! I don't really care about attractiveness in people now or their age, I'll just call it practice while I'm heavily suffering emotionally underneath. I'll just try to build perseverance and patience with everybody and do it all for the Lord's name. 

Follow Up

My last post is actually pretty good and just has that captivating style of my personal touch. It can be read over again while noticing some sweet spots of sympathy and humor. I'm a pretty whimsical person believe it or not and not that very gifted all-around as people think I am. I'm being honest. I have a limitation to everything and the only thing that can make me good at what I do is to calm down and work at it.

Like right now, from calming down and putting all of my emotions and intuition into a problem, I was able to get a pretty good grasp of the situation while feeling comfortable about it. For example, one of my little first-cousins had a crush on me when she was a baby. She would smile and try to give me a light kiss when she was like four or something!!! It was annoying, okay. I tried adding her as a Facebook friend and then guess what? Yeah, you know she didn't respond to it. It's not a no nor yes. I figure that she's just shy about adding me and want to go far as rejecting me romantically. Okay, I don't have a problem with that. How could I add her because I'm interested when I shouldn't be by human standards? I just need to press my values on her a little more and get her comfortable with me as a person by knowing where I stand.

Overall, I'm a very hard person to understand. By my nature, I just don't make it easy for people to figure out my intentions, unless we're like playing a game or something. Still, from playing a game, it's very logical that I'll be trying to make the best move and sometimes, I just won't do it because I'm just sucking at it. The thing about it though is that some individuals are sort of afraid of finding out when they are being selfish about something because if they were to tap into my heart, they would be influenced to do something that's out of their comfort zone.

Focusing On the Heart's Intentions

I'm starting to find something that helps fill in the gap with frustrations that come from missing information about anything. By taking the approach of figuring out the person's intentions, it really sets me up to strategize better for influencing my happiness. I'm really about developing self-control from doing anything inappropriate now. Since nobody is perfect except for the one who claims he or she is, the imperfect person will every once in awhile ignore negative self-judgement and just go about doing something while being in the heat of the moment.

I want to catch myself right at the beginning stages of those inappropriate moments and lean to the understanding of Jesus. I'm really going to try to set up a routine now and treat my life like it's a daily job for now because I don't want to get too carried away with the fluff I find in leisure.

I want to be pretty serious again and dedicated to my health and gaining knowledge to increase my vast wealth. Even though I grew up being influenced as a weak person by others who angered me with their rudeness, I never really made an effort to get them to stop. I basically fought back naturally and held a grudge even though I still wanted them to be my friend. Things are starting to slowly creep its way to how I don't really need to raise my voice to set my point straight, unless I was a cop pointing my gun at someone.

In order to be so cool at formulating a wonderful outcome, you have to be the master of yourself. You shouldn't be so agitated underneath because it's expending energy where you would be working a lot harder than you would. To be the winner, you need to be a calm and assertive person focusing on the right tasks. For me, I'm finding that my suitable propensity for solving people problems would be realizing everyone's intentions intuitively and then just communicating to force the issue out-of-style. I found out that I have been gifted a problem solver's head, even though it's very slow at processing only a billion things that are going on at once!

Leaning On Jesus

Everyday I wake up with this feeling of addiction and longing for something that would be classified as inappropriate. I guess in those instances I need to turn to Jesus through reading the Bible and praying to him. When I have those moments where something in the past is still unresolved and wants to momentarily haunt me because I let it get to me, I should just trust the Holy Spirit will guide me out of those hard times.

I'm going to start doing it and take it a day at a time. One by one and doing the right thing to the best of my ability. I need to get my priorities straight again and live a strong routine. I think the biggest imbalance of my life right now is literally playing Magic: the Gathering so much for me and watching T.V. and just not focusing on the boring and hard stuff enough that I should be doing to get my responsibilities straight. I should be doing all of those things, instead of just giving my time up to distract myself while having so much fun! I'm going to try to turn it around now and go with that flow now. The feelings are starting to get a little better and if I don't do it now, I'm going to burying myself into a deeper hole now. I need to clean up my act and do better this time around.

Reading the Bible is Awesome

Well what sucks is that Angels are probably going to be out of playoffs this year. Right at the end, they ended up choking and losing to a better team. Oh well, it sucks! At least the Dodgers get a chance in the playoffs, but I don't think they'll be winning the World Series. They are a great team though for sure.

Oh yeah, that's what was on my mind and now I don't feel so bad about moving on now. There's always next year, but it's like a bitter feeling having to wait for the next season. I wish Angels would have won more games and had a chance to battle it out in the post-season but I guess it's just going to come down to some fans ranting about firing the current personnel. Go figure, they are acting rowdy like some Yankee fans.

Okay, the Bible is just giving me this type of relaxation that feels really spiritual. Reading it everyday, just feels so healthy for me. I'm just browsing through it and trying to speed read in about maybe 15 minutes to go through like 10 chapters of the Bible, but still trying to read it verse by verse just feels really relaxing and just like an eye opener. It's like I can relate to some of those verses and passages. I'm not going to use the Bible to make some obvious jabs at people because it seems inappropriate. I should be responding to them in love and being honest about my needs with them.

I'm so glad my annoying, but good female friend told me that what I was doing is inappropriate. I feel like I'm the king at discussing about manners with people! In fact, I should be practicing what I preach.

Simple Layout

Playing Magic: the Gathering is so much fun. I like trying people with different decks. I always want to win obviously and sometimes I don't get to beat them. It really sucks, but oh well. I guess it's something of the nature where I really need to just move on.

I think I can sit well with games that involve luck and skill if I don't really have to sit there all the time and be engaged in it like playing with stocks! It sounds good to me then. I'm just talking all scattered and random right now.

Today, I went to the gym and did some hard running for about twenty minutes on the treadmill with some incline to it. Yeah, it was fun and very exhausting. After taking a cold shower, oh man, that felt so good! I'm going to try to run everyday at the 24 hour gym. It's pretty cool and something to do while I get to be all mindless and listen to random music on my headset and watch a TV screen with my favorite team losing on there! Oh man, what a bummer.

I'm also going to go for maxing out a set of push ups and sit-ups too. I think I can do that everyday and takes only about five minutes for me, which isn't too bad. I'm doing about 42 push-ups right now and 52 sit-ups. I'm down from having done about 10 more reps. I guess I'll slowly creep my way into successful reps at about the 80 level before I get bored of it and do something else. I think that's how I'll introduce myself into fitness. Just the basic push-ups and unassisted sit-ups, which aren't that easy. You have to stay in place and I keep bumping my head into the wall!

Oh yeah, I'm also going to go back to doing those growth stretches from yoga. I grew about 1/2 inch permanently from doing it. I went from 5' 2.5" to 5' 3 1/4" after doing those stretches. Man, I'm still short for a man. If I was 6' 1", then I wouldn't care about being rejected by a woman. I would just smile and move on. From being short, it's a little hard for me to smile when a girl does that to me. I keep on developing a height complex more and more, and at the same time; I'm just not caring about it.

I'm also taking a no response as a rejection to me, but if I had all the confidence in the world, it wouldn't matter to me. That's what I'm lacking from being too short. If tall men are being rejected by gorgeous women as well and seeing it on reality shows, then maybe, it's not too much of a difference anyways. I'll just go with the natural do what's good and get a hug from the pretty lady after!

Like a Job

Well, so much for feeling like it with doing some things I know that are good for me. I think I'm just going to think of it as like I'm going to work, each day I wake up. I have some free time and end up blowing it by doing mindless things like playing Magic: the Gathering but okay, I think it looks like I might be ready to put a lid on it and focus on the things I really need to do.

I don't know why I'm not doing the things as I'm supposed to be doing. I guess I just don't like feeling stressed out, so I'm naturally becoming evasive with it. If I treat it like it's a job, then maybe I have something going on here. I guess just for today only, my mind felt way too excited and it was like I had to just lay there to calm down.

Okay, it's back to limiting on playing Magic: the Gathering now and finding closure with it. I have a deck that can beat anybody in the world and somehow, I always need to prove it to myself by playing the game. I guess I can be happy with that and focus on some priorities because I'm lacking a little balance. It's like I should go pro with playing Magic: the Gathering but I'm like so reluctant to do it. I'm not numb to the feelings of losing and not making it in the money! That's why I have that currency trading business going. I'm done for now then.

Willful Discipline

Realizing that I have all of this addiction underneath me, I guess I'm just settling for being by myself for the rest of my life! Other than that, I want to do some things and when I wake up, I'm just like not in the mood because I feel a little groggy about it. It's like forcing myself to get up and go to work even though I don't feel like going.

It's pretty much how I'm living my life on a daily basis for now. I know what I want, but don't really get at it because I let other distractions get to me first. I would like to change it and do something about it these days. This is what I'm trying to do now. I don't really have any health concerns for my short stature. I just occasionally feel a little bit of anger, and I guess that's where Napoleon received his complex from. He's one of those short sociopaths I guess who made it to the top.

I definitely act like I have the Napoleon complex when I'm mad for any reason with people. I have acted very inappropriate and scared people into doing stuff for me out of control and intimidation while being a short, young man. Those days feel like they are good because I would rather subject the people I'm ticked off at to my ridiculing and nonverbal harassment. When I'm in motion with something and doing it at my fullest potential, I can sometimes cause good things to occur even while facing setbacks like Al Bundy did in Married With Children.

Why I Have No Significant Other?

Maybe I can joke that God is my husband. There are currently about 1000 women in the U.S. who have dedicated their life to God and will never marry anyone neither become intimate with anybody. It means they will have plenty of alone time with Jesus in spirit, while reading their Bibles I suppose and praying to him. I've noticed that it seems to be a Catholic thing, which is interesting being that some Christians are critical of other Christians and believe that compromising one of their beliefs will mean eternal damnation.

That's a bunch of bullocks! One group of people says that it's mixed teaching and they act so mad in person about it. Yeah well, the Apostle Paul states in the New Testament that when people are faking their Christian lives and doing good stuff out of it, he'll settle for it because it's about bringing people to the knowledge of Jesus and everything good about having a relationship with him. Overall, no alive person nor angel nor demon has the ability to judge who goes to heaven or hell at the end of a person's life. Nobody really knows if a serial killer who gave up his life all of a sudden to say that he wants to be in heaven is going to be there, except for God.

We just don't know, but what's weird is that when the Bible says something is evil in practice, there are people who still practice it while trying to reason that it's something else that the Bible is mentioning. I'm sorry to say this but having the greatest physical intimacy with the same gender is not advocated by the Bible. Adam and Eve were created for marriage. God states that some men and women are not born to be married, so when those urges for the same gender arrive, maybe it's because of upbringing and for probably exercising humility by not doing that sort of thing! I'm believing that there might not be anything wrong with living together while not doing that crazy deed.

Well, I've mentioned that I am very picky. I don't even know if I want to have a relationship with a lady who shows a little remote interest to me. I've had an opportunity with someone because she stated an interest and I was like what? the whole time. Was she in it for the money? My sister was angry because she just gets moody like I do with her when my mom said for her to fix me up. It's funny drama so I don't care about being open about it. I think it's funny to be sad about being lonely and complaining about it on a blog, so I don't mind talking about it.

I have like a bad boy image to my mom who feels she did a horrible job raising me, so she takes the blame on herself and relents to me not getting married. I'm cool with that actually! Maybe because of my extraordinary preferences and unwillingness to be in a relationship regardless of how attracted I feel and just from being shy about approaching a woman and then not getting any reply out of her, I'm just made to stay single my whole life. So far, I can live with it. I'm practically a nobody who is trying to get six pack abs and gain a million dollars! Even if I have those things, I'm still a nobody who is trying to be a practicing Christian.

Morning Passing By

The reason why I'm able to be so open and blunt is mainly because I see it as humorous to myself. Some people may not catch on or understand me unless I explain things in further detail, but that's just normal even though it annoys me but doesn't for me to question others. I guess I have a weird double standard. 

Okay, so I feel pretty dumb about some things. If there is not a real future from having no absolute, true interest from lacking something, then I might as well just pawn it. I'm saying this because I'm feeling rather numb about looking at airbrushed professional photos of models and can't constantly do it. It wears me out, so I'm like how can I be in a relationship just for a woman's beauty? 

I think I want to be more about leaning on the Lord's understanding. A buddy said that he will settle with being the family dog if he ever gets to be around God's children. It's pretty funny to me and also I think it's a humble remark from him. I showed him Mark 3:35 which has Jesus saying that whoever does the will of God is his brother and sister and mother. This remark came after someone mentioned to Jesus that his earthly family was looking for him. Pretty weird reply, but nonetheless it's about God's eternal family and there seems to be a depiction of sharing fellowship with the Lord in some type of equality which is amazing. 

Actually I think my buddy knows that he can't fully obey the Lord's commands because nobody can and he wants to accept any part of the Lord's blessing from realizing how good it was for everyone when Jesus died on the cross.  

Nothing Fancy

I guess I'm about personally controlling my hormones now. I need to try to be nice with people, so it's important for me to be a little careful. Besides getting away with being in big trouble a lot of times I've almost went into it, it's actually pretty funny mishaps even though they are highly inappropriate for humans of all ages.

Yeah, I don't deserve a girlfriend or anything and I'm not really that smart. I just try to make an effort whenever I can to do what I want at times. Right now, I really just want to be full of energy and strong and do a lot of interesting things like flipping around my body and doing some martial arts with parkour action. I would like to dunk while being only 5' 3" too.

Being short like some other girls is what it is. I'm just a guy in place of that and just don't really want to date taller women than me, and I'm just so picky even with the short ladies. I guess that's why I haven't settled down at the super old age of below 33. I'm going to be 40-something pretty soon in like another decade.

Simple Layout

I'll be maxing out on a set of push-ups, sit-ups, and then running for about 20 minutes each day. That's pretty much going to be my work out. I'll be adding on maxing out on pull-ups too. I'm getting very addicted to Magic: the Gathering. I'm starting to not care about winning or losing at it now, so I think I'll just lay off of it.

With all the boredom I have, I need to do really good and try my best with rolling along.

Going To Live With It

I guess the irritated feelings I'm constantly getting, which I equate to being angry is that I want to still be a friend to the person I'm just annoyed by. I think I like to be a hopeless dreamer, while not caring about the other person's feelings. I pretty much went viral over the web with them in giving them a beat down while just being honest. I admit it. I'm making fun of them because I'm mad at the same time. It's abusive language and yet, they seem to have not been too taken back by it. I think they were in the beginning, but now, maybe they are having second thoughts about bringing me down.

I realize that this motivational drive from anger that inspires me to get nothing done could be a waste of time. I'm still playing Magic: the Gathering. I guess it fell out of my radar from being angry at stuff. Another thing is that I'm actually working out little by little, which is surprising for an angry person like me. Finally, I'm actually investing my money and sweating it out while loving the thrill of the ups and downs of the business.

There are two rules to play of the game of investing. Rule 1: protect your account, meaning never go bankrupt by leaving enough room in your account to bounce back, even if you were to lose that 99.999999% sure bet. Rule 2: go with your gut feelings.

Reasoning With Myself

Reasoning with myself is something I really need to do a  lot more. I'm practically just letting myself get carried away with reading news about professional sports. I guess that's normal for a guy born and having grown up in America with parents who liked to argue in a language I didn't understand. It was so annoying for me!

I get carried away from getting mad, so I just want to give a fit. Instead of showing that like a little kid, I do the grown up version which is complaining! I don't complain like a normal adult. I do it in a manner that's very insulting to others. I don't admit to it, but yeah, I'm still trying to get away with it by being nice. I think from being short, I try to be passive aggressive by nature and want to do all of that petty talking behind people's backs like women are prone to do. However, from being a dude, I just want to go all macho and tell people off in their faces.

From the combination of those two abusive qualities of mine, it irritates the heck out of people and fires them up to start yelling and saying stuff that annoys me even more than they already are! I'm not a very direct kind of guy, so by holding myself back in writing, I think some people who were mad at me smelled blood and went in for what they thought was going to be an easy kill. It didn't work out for them because now I'm overly direct with those people. Also another factor to the former softness I had is that I stopped caring. However, from just being mad, I want to be their friend.

Following Through

It's pretty much about catching myself, but I really have nothing going for me right now. I can just say that Jesus rocks and that I'm trying to do my part with that on here so far. Okay, I believe in Christ and that he rose from the dead and he will come back. That's what I believe and I want to read the Bible more and be changed spiritually from understanding the Scriptures better.

Okay, that pretty much wraps up my talk about being a Christian. I'm still going to try to make it sound cool with being a Christian though, even if some people in the world think it's lame and stupid. I'm pretty insensitive, so I'm trying to understand people's motives but it seems like I'm about trying to stay clear and being nice about it, so I don't seem to get too much conflicts out of that.

I'm not going to like breath down someone's throat and say that God loves him and that the Lord wants him to go to heaven and that it's possible for him. It's like a process, but what I like is realizing your flaws on your own and from that how the Bible can help put the pieces together and to provide you with this insurmountable peace and joy in the Lord's name.

Simple Things To Do

It's nothing much for me. I'm going to turn it into a routine. I guess playing poker isn't really what I had in mind, so I'm going to let that go. Playing Magic the Gathering is really fun, don't get me wrong, but I need to not let it get to me so much now.

Okay, I'm just going to read the Bible, exercise, and trade. With the free time I have left, I'm just going to try to read around and get better at trading. That's pretty much all I really have going for me. The weekend is where I'm really going to try to socialize with people then. I might as well just go extend myself out and work on being a more social person and hopefully I can connect better with a few people and find a nice person to bond with who I can be happy with. 

I just need to stop wasting my time in places that I don't need to now. With those cravings that I have, I'm realizing that it's leading me nowhere. I need to fix it. 

Nothing New Really

It's pretty much the same old try to make money with trading currency while avoiding on playing Magic: the Gathering and hitting the gym everyday! I'm looking to go out and socialize a bit more so I'm grateful for all the friends I have accumulated over the past and to still be invited and have some coming to my all-out fancy birthday dinners.

I'm becoming a lot more calmer through the troubles some people want to put me through and to have a relatively decent understanding of what's bothering them. It's like no one wants to approach me about something they see wrong with me, anymore. I mean I'm pretty cool about not being a sore loser nor rub-it-in-your-face type of guy. I think that's why I'm still likable and approachable.

I don't think it really matters that much now dealing with some negative people. They just want to blow something out of proportion sometimes and end up losing it. It's really easy to start being disrespectful and complaining in a petty manner to just get away with stuff when you are angry. I'm going to have to load up on some self-defense skills and apply some of my deterring methods that I've been learning.

From being straight forward and not really hiding anything, it's been making a good female friend who is pretty shallow and delicate more accepting of me. She's pretty complicated and a little annoying, but I put up with it for a learning experience of communicating with a slightly stubborn woman. The Bible's ways are really true. Honesty is like a kiss on the lips. It might sting when you reveal something negative, but that's just the structure of how things are sometimes. Fortunately, I love to have a great laugh while I'm angry and getting to people by relying on my opinion and saying negative things about them that they can hear or read. In the end though, the honesty and straight-forward values just makes me seem more stable to others who aren't going through bad times, so the person I'm mad at has to accept some type of loss in the end. It's been making more bolder and understanding my ways. It's like being blunt in those heated moments has been my best treatment option for anger management therapy.

Taking It Slow

I'm really not so worried about having to watch out for myself to just be accepted in a social crowd. I guess getting to be around the right type of people can take some time, so I believe it's normal to depart casually from certain groups.

From comparing some beautiful photos of famous women and their current state, I have noticed that the visual enjoyment of them being attractive didn't really retain itself. It's like just because a woman is pretty, it shouldn't really be the only reason for me to want to marry her. The physical beauty from being young isn't going to last! There's just no way for a real-life woman to compete with an air-brushed photo.

Simple Plans

There's no reason for me to reveal my plans with people who I suspect are trying to do something bad with me. If they have that negative impression from whatever delusional train they got on, then I might as well not feed them any more thoughts and just start doing stuff without telling them my purpose because I don't have to.

Okay that being said, it's pretty simple for me. Becoming a millionaire with six pack abs! I don't care what the accusations are with me being a bad Christian. I am still going to read the Bible whenever I can!

I guess my dream job is really doing convenient trading with currency and being successful at it eventually. Even though I'm not that great yet, it's still a moving experience for me each time I try to gain some knowledge for it. I might go back to playing Magic: the Gathering, but right now, I want let that subside for a little bit. I need to try to loosen up my distractions from being angry at some long term incidents where I end up becoming motivated and stay like that without finishing anything I had ever planned.

Nothing Much

I'm starting to be about relying on the Spirit of God from reading the Bible and praying and trying to spend at least a little time carrying out some agenda in obedience of God's Word. It's pretty dry at times, I won't lie even though I'm a believer and then I feel like falling asleep. I mean I could use it as a good tool for falling asleep while I'm in bed!

It's all good though. I'm starting to realize that when I'm mad at someone, I still want to be his or her friend just because of the constant feeling of irritation I'm getting. It just makes me want to push harder and go to the extreme for something.

I didn't know what the heck I was doing at the time, but the wrong person gave me a restraining order. She couldn't extend the restraining order at court, so I went back and scared her really silly. I even sent her harassing messages that was making fun of her and then it's like she completely shut down online with the places that I was able to attack her at with my full name boldly!

A friend says that I should be nice to her because all women need some loving and was laughing about it. It hasn't really affected my social life that much, even if people know that I had a restraining order. I don't really know what the big deal is about it now! I'm just mad and want to be her friend because of it.

Yeah, this time around if anybody wants to get a restraining order on me, I'm just going to make fun of the person on the paper I get to submit to court. I'm going to make it the best memorable experience I can in laughing at the person and discussing in person about a lot of the person's negatives in a truthful manner, even if it's inappropriate because I won't even care how the person feels. Never trying to see the person again on my own efforts won't be so hard anymore, like it was back then for me. I didn't fail from having a hard time, but I would like to try to make it easier on me because I have a load of other stuff to do anyway, so this might really help me and not for the other person and might even discourage them. By being discouraged from putting a restraining order on me, I could then try to be a friend to them because I'm just mad at them and want to be that way!

Craziness

Almost 5-6 years have gone by since I've been stressed out by a church kicking me out! They aren't the best of the bunch in this world, when there's already so many to choose from. The Bible states that God's people will follow the Lord from reading Scriptures. How is it possible when there's so many differing views?

Well, if you go back to the basics, most of it is laid out in a straight-forward way. Then it goes off into different viewpoints based on how you look at it, but still the most basic things make up the foundation for being a true believer.

Honestly, enough with the digression, I'm really ticked off about it to this day and feel numb about the people's concerns there. I think I can go back and cause a funny mess for them because I'm in the mood for just ridiculing them. I think I'm what you call a functional, angry person. I'll still be your friend and hang out with you, even though I'm mad at you.

I'm practically blurting out the names of two women around my age named Betty and Annie. I personally nicknamed Annie as "N-O" in my thoughts and wrote a sarcastic love song that everybody thinks is lovely about Betty on the piano. I even have that music recorded on my phone. It's okay I guess, but I could improve some more on my singing.

More and more, I'm feeling and making the effort to part with them in my head and keep the fun song I got out of it!

Back To Where I Started

It looks like I'm still in the mood for getting a six pack. Nothing new there, and I still want to be a millionaire at the same time. I think my dream job is literally trading currency for profit. Right now, I'm pretty much rolling along with it. I'm basically picking the option of being a speculator, which is managing risk in a highly volatile market. I guess poker players who make a living off of it will somewhat fall into the same category also because of the long up and down swings a player can face in the game.

I think it's not uncommon for people to judge that investing in stocks is pretty much gambling. From reading some statistics, the major players of the currency market which include international banks are going to be the winners. My job is to try to locate a convenient trendy market and ride it so I can make a few thousand dollars off of their million dollar transactions.

It's exciting and I no longer have that craving for being greedy with my money. I've just got used to it and would like to help out starving orphans in the world, if I can earn a lucrative income off of this and probably travel the world while playing golf with someone I ended up marrying.

Reaching the Last Straw

I'm starting to reach a personal longing where I just need to let go of playing Magic: the Gathering and just be happy with what I got going. I'm basically just playing out of habit to test new decks, but I'm met with practically a control deck from my other opponents so that slows games down.

Overall, I think it's just about having fun and losing doesn't really matter that much anyway. If I'm not in any tournaments, then I guess I'm just trying to win all the time because it's fun. Losing is okay too and it's just the way things are going to go.

Happiness Counts

I'm realizing my pattern of just playing Magic: the Gathering whenever I get the chance. I'm trying to limit the approach to it now. I've realized that since there's also luck involved, I have to accept defeat sometimes instead of mulling about how I lost. I hate doing that, so I end up spending a lot more time to try to create a better destiny for myself and then end up testing it with others who are also good as well.

The one thing that sort of sucks is that I cannot test my strategies with winning over people that well. Like, I wish I could get a few losers to add me back as a friend on Facebook, but I don't really have some data to figure that out. It's like I have to use intuition and one thing I don't want to to do is get really angry and then start doing random acts of injustice to the person. I've done it once, but I was so deceptive about it that the other people didn't go after me. Maybe, it inspired them to laugh because the last I heard is that they were open to me coming back. I heard this idea from the person I least wanted to get it from. She even made a claim that she's crazy and is willing to send me to the grave because I bug her so much!

Maybe, I can be rude again and leave the church and do rude stuff to make myself laugh and then have an attempt of making some cops angry with me, all for just laughs and to be a troll because I'm just in that mood. I'll have to see how it plays out, but I do normally like to be a generally nice guy.

I just have a problem with being stubborn about some things, and I realize it. I think many arrogant men today think of it as an advantage, so complaining about it is basically a weakness. Them complaining is funny to behold even though it's annoying and you don't realize sometimes.

You know one girl coined it the best. She was open to dating me, and I should have left that one humble and pretty church girl for her. She's so angelic and was going to be with one and fighting for her wouldn't even make any sense. I'm so dumb for not realizing that.

Taking It Too Seriously

I'm playing Magic: the Gathering well maybe a little too much. I've just learned that the game is very similar to poker in a way which makes it almost a non-satisfying route for me. Fortunately, I'm not gambling in the game but from what I've read in the past, players used to gamble with cards in that the winner would take it.

What I recall reading is that one guy had a very cheap deck in that his cards were not that useful, so that even though he lost, he didn't really have to care. However, he would win at least once so from all the losses he had, he would trade back multiple cards from that one game he won, which is smart!

I wish I could do that in poker, and end up playing for free to make money, but I guess that's not happening. Nowadays, only the very best poker players get sponsored to play for free. That being said, it's really time to reassess my passions.

Knowing that Magic is a combined game of skill and luck, the beauty comes in building a deck that suits your interests. What's so awesome is that the combined agenda for most players is to pretty much win and whatever route is taken whether conventional or not, it's about being happy with what you got. Win or lose, it really doesn't matter but winning makes it so much more nicer. I'm an addict to being a winner, practically! I can't get enough of it, but losing some good battles can be frustrating also in a great way because it gives me more better insight to improve my game play.

Just Being Dedicated

I'm going to go after just rededicating my life and organizing it better. Instead of passing the time while having fun or angry from losing a lot in Magic: the Gathering, I'm going to let that be my reward for accomplishing boring or complicated tasks and doing it all completely.

If I make a mistake and left something out and enjoy Magic, then yeah, I caught a break and going to have fun regardless! Okay, I'll have to get my urges to settle down and do what I forgot, like I might pull the whole I have to go thing while I'm playing myself or some worthy opponent whose ticking me off from beating me silly!

Work vs Reward System

I'm going to try a personal reinforcement system. In a nutshell, it's the common "work hard, play hard " mantra that everybody likes to come up with. Note hard work comes first then after accomplishing something and while feeling good and on top of your game, you end up playing hard while doing something you know you like.

What about not knowing what you like doing? Well then, with my system, you would not be able to use it. School and working at the job is all hard work. Playing video games or going out trying to make a girlfriend can be painfully fun especially with all those blisters you could get from pushing buttons and getting slapped for saying the wrong thing, respectively.

I can't say I've been slapped, but I've been shouted at for saying that a woman looks fat because she had a baby and didn't get rid of the added weight. It wasn't really a nice thing to say, but I was just wondering why a bunch of shallow guys would reject her after she mentioned about not having quality dates with men.

In a way, I get to maintain my urges with playing Magic: the Gathering after being satisfied with the work into doing something. Right now, it's like all play and feeling out of whack and lot of guilt because I'm not doing enough work to get somewhere in life. I mean I have a job where I try very hard to concentrate at it, so in a way, I'm lucky to have some type of income. I just know I could do better and be living my dream!

Controlling Urges

This one guy I know is pretty funny in that he admits to having urges to doing something that's considerably odd, but makes his brother feel bad for him. If someone says he or she feels bad for me, I'll take it and use it to my advantage!

Pretty much my urges are just playing Magic: the Gathering and watching TV when I get home and snacking on an ice cream bar. That's pretty much it and it takes up a few hours at least for me to get out of that mentality.

I have so much ambition and stuff that I want to accomplish. It's all filled up in my head, and I feel like I'm not living up to my fullest potential or even making any strides for it. I want to get on the go with it and constantly have this reminder and push that I'm going the right direction in life which is eventually going to make me happy.

Well there's something I can do about it and it's just being consistent and allowing myself to suffer emotionally with the boredom and lack of patience I have. Maybe, some of those things might not really be worth the reason and wait after all. It could really be just for vanity after all, but it would be so cool at the same time. I feel like that while I'm playing Magic a lot.

Rededicating

Mainly, I've been hanging out with a buddy who isn't really that socially adept. He says that he's a natural loner and will avoid conflict at all costs. He's really happy that way or it seems he can manage that way somehow, as long as he also knows he has a place in the world. He's actually adopted a belief of infinite, parallel universes like the ones you find in comic books and that in one of them, he's a billionaire playboy living the life!

You've got to be kidding me. The answer isn't out there where he can't tap into it. It lies somewhere in this reality. I personally believe in the joy of a person's soul through being happy in the Savior of this world, who sacrificed himself in the Roman Empire period so that those who would believe upon him would find redemption.

Relaxing State of Mind

I'm starting to realize that one of the secrets to my successful living really deals with staying calm and assertive in situations that are displeasing to me. I really need to get back into reading the Bible and praying to the Lord. It just brings me a good sense of well-being.

I'm also trying to get up and work out. I'm going to try do that now. No TV and playing video games. Just reading about practical stuff and entertaining myself with an imagination. I'm not really going to spend my more time playing poker either anymore.

I guess my dream job is really about becoming a successful currency trader and that's pretty much it. I'm going at it right now with about a $5,000 account.

Another Flawless Victory

This is another one of my posts with some vanity in it. I beat a rookie at Magic: the Gathering, and I ended up scoring a perfect knockout in that card game. It was fun, but it was like taking candy from a baby. 

Okay, he had some powerful spells but I ended up just playing a counter spell which is a strong defensive control mechanism in the game that the blue cards get. I remember playing other card games like Star Wars and Pokemon which were also addicting, but Magic has stood the test of time for me. I'm still playing it to this day. 

I'm feeling mighty proud of my small achievement and feel like I need to take a few victory laps around the gym. I'm going to go try to do that, but I have some things I need to take care of right now, so I'm going to focus on those things.

Because I won with a landslide victory, I feel confident today in that I don't need to play anymore Magic for now. I like the setup that I have, and it's pretty strong and not that bad. 

Reassessing Myself

I'm giving in to a lot of minor fluff, which is just doing nothing but wasting time. I'm just being blunt with myself, even though it hurts to know the truth about it now. It's really that urge to like check up on my favorite sports channel and watch those reruns or watch some contestants trying to survive the wild. They make it look like they aren't really suffering and that I could do it too, but I'm sure a lot more degree of difficulty and experience goes into it.

I wish I was so smooth like that, but I'm just not. I need to accept it. I know it's pretty normal with what I'm going through, but I'm like so aware of it and gradually just not caring. I mean I have like this cold heart to it and there are days where I just do it while disregarding everything else. I could be calling up someone to help them out and feel good from doing it. I just keep forgetting about those things because I want to be busy with my own hobbies.

Anyway, I'm finding that blonde girls aren't really the best to date like how it was back in the day. Right now, Asian women are leading the way! Basically, my sister could do it too, but I don't think she wants to. She's actually a lot more sociable person these days and I think what irritates her gets to me also, and she's just had some of her struggles that she wanted to have full control over. I mean she was open about some things and others, she just wanted to keep it private.

For the little guy that I am, I'm not really that little. I'm actually not that bad, but know that I could be better. I guess from playing Magic: the Gathering, it's bringing out a side of me that I've kept under wraps, which is trying to be a perfectionist and attaining satisfaction at a consistent rate. It doesn't hurt to always do things to make myself happy, while being lawful.

It's funny how when I talk about God, it's like some crazy people out there could be thinking about terrorism! It's like the legal enforcers will want to get in their cars and buzz off their sirens to say that they would get me, if they could but they are busy. Something weird like that. I'm actually trying very hard to not cuss in writing, which is something I haven't done to a full, explicit way. After all this writing and anger problems and complaints about stupid people, I still haven't made an insult calling them some traditional bad words. I guess I don't want to feel like a buffoon and give into some people's outrage.

Dream Job

I finally have in mind what my dream job is. I never grew up with this assertion to make money off of being a programmer. It was really more like a hobby and I still feel that way to this day. I mean I enjoy the challenges it brings and even though sometimes, I'm not feeling it and it's just a bunch of emptiness and irritation from not getting anything done right, I'm still in the mood for finishing the job.

Computers are pretty much like a lifestyle for me, and it's something that I don't really feel right about competing for. I mean I have a degree in it and have successfully got a 100% and 99.9% grade in my graduate courses, but I could still do better for myself.

I'm pretty much changing my mind back and forth, but what my real dream job is just having one that really isn't the typical 8-10 hour job. I thought I could do it with poker but because of those nasty swings and constant beatings by lucky and irritating opponents, I'm just not cut out for it. There's one guy who puts up with it in the world and he's the best there is at it in the tournament field, Phil Hellmuth. He has 14 World Series bracelets. Wow, that is so unprecedented in poker history!

Is It All Vanity?

From talking to a buddy at work, what you always wish for when it comes true may not be the greatest thing you could imagine anymore. From taking an economics course, I remember the concept of the law of diminishing returns. This is pretty much how when you are satisfied with a demand. From constantly being fed that demand, it gradually lessens.

There's also something called sticky demand from what I remember. These markets are pretty much dealing with those dangerous and highly addictive drugs. It's like you can't get enough of it and want always more. It's a highly profitable field to exploit like some criminals have in the past, but it's life threatening and not enough addicts are responsible about maintaining their own health, so it's illegal.

Yeah, about the mind, it's really to hard to control urges and go after doing the right thing. Once you get sucked into something that really brings you some sort of accomplishment and well-being, it's just hard to be challenged by someone to abandon that. Imagine someone like Christ popped up in your life and told you everything you were doing was wrong, it would be something you either ignore or feel really offended by. What about the other end, where you do actually care about what he said and wanted to listen and change your ways?

Back To Finding My Way

I have some serious competitive urges with Magic: the Gathering. I'm playing against different styles and it's annoying to lose against them! Oh well, it was still fun to participate with someone. I finally managed to give myself a flawless victory! I was like "Haha, in your face" and then exited the playing field.

I'm finding out that I am struggling with a few styles, but what's really the important thing is just timing and having the right setup which is based on luck! What I love about this game is how I'm constantly being pushed to the limit to improve my strategies and learn new ones from my opponents and then adapt to the ones that I personally favor.

I guess having scrimmages in sports games, like friendly competition against other peers will really help you know your place and what you could do to improve yourself. I mean it's nice or depressing to know our limitations to the game that we are playing, but it's pretty much making a valiant effort from practicing.

Relying On God's Good Timing

A lot of things I'm doing is practically just me wasting time when I could be doing something better. Where I'm at right now is the starting point of ending my useless obsessions and beginning new habits.

I've really lost a lot of interest with doing some things. I'm just not the same anymore. I'm trying to figure out my heart's desires fully and also factoring in if God would be accepting to that lifestyle.

I'm really thinking now that maybe settling down with the right person would be useful in helping me to keep in check the little things in life. I'm doing a lot of little things in place of the big goals that I can't seem to register from having groggy mornings.

I just need to will myself and make stronger decisions, which is going to take some more prayerful thinking.