Main Things to Do

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Temporary: figure out friend's car registration issue. 

14. Temporary: pack for weekend stay at friend

I'm going to for now add or remove from this list. It's just repetition that I plan to do, even if I don't make any sense to others reading this. 

I really ought to figure out #4 by turning back purchased items that are no longer in use and then selling my old drone for some easy money. #13 and #14 go together. Most people assume my friend is a dude but she's a girl. We're close friends but personally, I figured it out, I'm not interested in her because she doesn't have enough qualities that make me attracted to her. She doesn't know this or has probably felt the vibe enough times but is still cool with it because she said that she really likes me when she was mad at me last week! 

Things I Wish to Do - Part 2

Even if I never get around to them, I'm still going to be content. These are the things I want to get myself started on, have put on hold, or working on. 

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing        myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

Great Trick to Living Long and Healthy

This is what I read a little while ago and find it to be so meaningful and truthful. 

You are supposed to have a clean diet, exercise regularly, get adequate sleep, and maintain close relationships. It makes sense because this is a great way to enjoy a fulfilled life.

It's great to have freedom in these areas: time, money, relationships, physical, and spiritual. These are the top five areas that we should all master to have enlightenment within ourselves. 

Honestly, I'm glad to that I have a true friend in a girl which was pretty unlikely from the start because she's of age and someone I would want as a partner if only she had the qualities I was looking for. Everything else is fine even though she opens up a lot about her problems and how I don't seem to find fault over those issues anymore. All that's left is really her personal qualities and as long as she doesn't end up in being more than two, long-term, serious relationships with guys or has a kid with someone. 

Things I Wish to Do

I have learned to be content with where I'm at right now. I've held it together with no problems for a long period and will keep it going. 

This comes from having peace of mind while believing upon Jesus as my Lord and Savior. You can say that I am a full-pledged Christian and never going anywhere else in my belief system forever. I nourish my faith by listening to the whole Bible verbatim on almost a daily basis. 

It's crazy how I'm doing with my life. With the lady friend who I have gotten so close to and is my buddy, she isn't someone I'm not interested in having as a partner so it makes me feel sad because I know the reason whenever she brings up a small discussion referring to my dating life. She doesn't have the qualities I look for in a partner, so I'm not attracted to her enough. However, these qualities are something I believe that any woman who is lacking can permanently gain if she wants to. I'm going to be progressive here and go with the right lady who already possesses them. 

Appearances don't really matter that much to me anymore. I have figured out the certain qualities in a partner I have preference over. These can work out to be part of the values I want in a partner, and they are close to non-negotiable. Therefore, I really do have a type and thankfully; they're common! I'm not really going to lay out too many of these qualities I want on here. 

This ends Part One. 

Getting to a Million Dollar Formula

I honestly feel like right now I may have stumbled upon a bleeding gold mine while trading the Forex market. I ended up running twenty trades overnight and they all ended up with a positive return in the afternoon. I made more than what I lost last month, after cashing in the majority of these trades. This is something I think I can repeat pretty consistently. 

I think I have a full system that's working in order effectively. It will even adapt to any market situation, while still being able to leave it as a swing trade. This might become easy money for me. It's also something I don't think I'll ever really commercialize either for more profit. I would rather just keep it my own thing that's like money growing on trees. 

I put in all this labor to figure it out, so I think I finally deserve to enjoy its riches which I consider myself blessed to have reached. I don't intend to really be vocal about this except just saying that I finally became a millionaire on my own terms.  

Understanding Dating Preferences

I think I'm a dime in a dozen when it comes to my acquired taste with dating. I'm not really that interested in appearances. 

I have learned that a woman's personality and good qualities can turn me on so much more than just admiring something hollow. This was verified to me with a photo of a physically attractive woman. I rate her as a 9 and could even be a 10. I didn't feel anything romantic or chemistry from the way she was positioning herself on the camera. From comparing it to a former coworker who is about a 5, I thought she was super hot because of her sweet personality and a few noticeably sexy body parts. I found out a little too late that she's single. It didn't work out between us unfortunately, but I think she really was someone right for me.  

Understanding My Strong Emotions

I seem to be one of those who imagines a lot of crazy things that could happen or go wrong randomly when I'm feeling so jumpy during my selfish visualizations. I admit that it can get violent in that I will scream in my imaginations and start pushing guys like my dad onto the floor and then scream in his ear how stupid he's being with me! I wish I could get away with it without having any effect on them, but it probably would maybe because it's so crazy and if I did it in a very weird fashion. 

I actually have been ballistic before, I think, but I don't really remember. It's this type of effect that I would want to happen, if I were to go all out with screaming someone's head off. I don't think it's necessary anymore from understanding my approach. 

It's also been making me a little sad to talk a little with a female friend about finding someone else to be partners with, since I'm not interested in her. She's mentioned that she really likes me a lot and has even told me enough reasons spread out over the years I've known her. She's also in a committed relationship with someone else right now. I don't think there's enough chemistry between us for something serious to ever happen. My response is to just be quiet about it right now and not show how I'm sad to talk about this with her. 

Maybe it would be better if she never said this is about me finding someone else besides her. She should probably keep that sentence to herself. Well, I'm not mad at her for mentioning this to me a lot. It just makes me feel a little sad about our situation. This could probably also be a good reason for why it would get awkward to some people about being good friends after they dated each other.

Communicating Softly By Feeling Things Out

I'm really going to have to start questioning things and playing by feel now instead of acting so dumb. I need to think quicker on my feet and maybe treat it like it's some sort of game. I guess I can relax at the same time as well. 

I'm going to have to just say anything and just let it go now. I now figured it out. Why should the former people I associated with really care about adding me back on Facebook? It doesn't matter to begin with. It's not like I'm right at their face bugging them to begin with. They are just being uptight about something that has nothing to do with me and they just decided to make it personal with me, so it's naturally going to be my business. 

Communication is really the key. 

New Form of Soul Searching

Now I'm pretty much looking for a mate to happily pass the time while in this world and hopefully raise kids who will make a very positive impact on others for what they believe in. I have chosen my faith, but I'm not going to force it down on them. I want them to choose it at their own discretion and maybe with some help from good teachers. 

I think I'll probably be doing a lot of praying over any worries and maybe even forget about how it's stressing me out over time because this is how I'm wired. I have found a person who is right for me and with no doubts now. 

For a long time, it was really a soulmate who I felt I could never be with. It's just that the soulmate thing is something that a lot of people attach naturally with strong emotions. It's pretty annoying to hear about it, when I don't think like that anymore with who I perceive to be a soulmate. Heck, I think the person I only met for a single date could be a soulmate for me too if we spent more time together. However, it's unlikely this will happen while thinking about it realistically. I know she's out there. I also don't think her personality and qualities are really all that unique. I think there's a general type that these women can be classified into and are people I might easily be able to fall in love with, if it's not unrequited for either of us! 

With a buddy who I've been turned on by with my biological functions, she doesn't appeal to me so much like that anymore. I rank her physical attraction as a 6 right now. It's probably never been that much higher than a 7, which is probably to my ideal liking. It's pretty strange in that I felt the same way often even when she was in tip-top form and guys were drooling over her inherent beauty. I still think marrying a 5 or 6 with wonderful personality and qualities that work for me will be no problem! I'll have no trouble at all with staying in a loving mood. 

The attraction with her has sort of rubbed off on me and when I think of her now, I know that she doesn't have enough qualities I look for in a partner. I think she should work on them and that it's possible she also has a form of autism because I'm totally not interested in pursuing her right now even though she has already questioned me doing that to her! Besides, if she had the awesome qualities I look for, she wouldn't go too crazy over it to begin with and realize that I'm very chill about just being buddies. What's even crazier is that a confirmed soulmate doesn't have the qualities I look for too right now. It's just my heart that tells me she is one since we've spent a lot of time together, and it feels like she has been going through a temporary personality change.

Maybe Figured Out Something Reliable and Profitable

It looks like putting in my time to swing trade is starting to pay off little by little. I'm starting to notice some patterns intuitively and just going at it. It's some sort of art form. It's also always subject to change as well. 

I'm looking forward to seeing a ton of profit it brings in the future. Pretty much, I'm going to be working out and also taking care of my appearance. To get something though, it's mainly about focusing on that. Everything else is pretty much extra and something you should do for fun. 

If a person is involved then there's going to be sometimes a collision. It's important to just communicate. 

Projecting to Get Wealthy

It looks like I'm building wealth slowly but steadily. As I climb up this pool of wealth from mainly just putting in my money at the right places and waiting patiently, I need to figure out what else I'm going to do to keep myself occupied since now I'm convinced that playing Poker a little too often isn't going to be a good idea for me.

I think I'm going to just read more and learn to be a better software developer and also go work out and work on everything else. 

With this whole dating process, I have finally realized a type I'm looking for. I'm still open to meeting others, but I've become more of a guy who cares about the personality and qualities a woman already has in terms of being a life partner. 

What I'm Trying to Accomplish During Free Time

I mainly have a few things that I would like to stay on top of right now during personal time. They are trading, working out, reading, hygiene, working on an online class, and working on getting taller! I also want to make a habit of drinking a cup of tea or coffee every evening because I want to stay up a little longer. 

It's pretty simple with what I'm looking for now, and I'm starting to see things a bit clearer than usual. For this evening, I will be working on getting ready for a weekend trip tomorrow. 

New Preferences With Love

I don't really have many preferences on appearances anymore. I normally have a personal rating system that I hardly share with anyone. I personally find that most people range from 5 to 7. I rank myself between 5 and 6. People close to me have rated me as 7 at best. I am also very comfortable dating women I find to be in this range and they have shown the most interest with me as well. 

There are even female friends who I used to rank higher having dropped in their score. Nowadays, when I see younger and prettier faces, I'm pretty nonchalant about it if I feel anything exciting about their looks. I have learned to control these shallow impulses quite a bit well.

I'm more turned on lately by admiring a woman's personality, character, and qualities. I'm basically looking at everything good on her inside. 

For my two biggest lady friends who are currently dating someone, I have discovered that they don't possess enough qualities I want in a partner. However, I am so laid back at the thought of hanging out with them. I'm probably never going to reveal this truth to them, unless they needle me for it. 

However, it's also possible that one of them could gain it later on if she becomes single again and then get me interested since she's already admitted to liking me a lot in one of our small spats. It really makes sense though that she would like me since we have already hung out often and are able to get along so well with each other's quirkiness while having some good laughs and sometimes challenging each other's views to bring out our better sides. For now, I only see her as a true buddy which I'm so grateful to have achieved from getting to know people. 

Learning While Dating Others

For all the small experiences I have with dates, I have confirmed it was just an official date while being all there mentally with only one person. It's also the first time I experienced the after effects of being interested on a confirmed date and realizing how I failed at it!

Still, I have been learning fast and I realize that communicating with my dating partner has been valuable. I struggled so many times but now I don't seem to have this hindering us. 

The main thing is talking about what you like about her as a potential partner and asking her what she thinks about you. 

Understanding Some Complex Feel Good Emotion

Something I've always wanted in the back of my mind was obtaining something that seems so far away to obtain but is right in front of me. It was becoming true friends with a cute girl of age! I found someone who I would date if she had enough qualities I look for in a partner but she's still lacking in that area. 

I'm not playing that game of believing she will change, if I pursue her. I'm going to play with what people are already going to give in person. I'm pretty laid back enough to figure that she could develop these qualities I want in the future, and I'm also willing to move on if she does while marrying the right person for her. 

For myself, I'm so happy that she's just a true close friend to me. It brings some good tears of joy! We definitely hang out often and share some good laughs while also challenging each other and ticking each other off sometimes. We have a solid relationship, overall. 

Promoting Something Good and Positive

I've realized that two tall white guys who are out of shape and look so ugly have removed me as a Facebook friend and then requested to add me again. I really don't mind because they took the liberty to request adding me again. I think they were jealous of me and going through some negative period to make them feel that way. I can have some compassion for them, even if this assumption is totally incorrect!

I'm the short guy who doesn't look ugly! They are the tall guys who look ugly! I guess we can mesh together while taking and removing something from each other. I think those tall guys can dramatically improve upon their appearances if they cared to work out and fix their diet, so naturally they could look like studs to so many hopeful ladies out there. 

What I have is the personality and temperament required for getting married to a lady who is my type. How I confirmed this is that I have already gone out on a first date with the right one. It was my first time which surprised me so much afterwards because I took it for granted and it didn't turn out well. 

She's been nice though and gave me some useful feedback to work on. I may try to hit her up again, after dating around a bit. It's that simple. It's also something that I can't explain too easily because it feels all natural and intuitive in a sense. 

Looking for acceptance on my Facebook was too crazy because it won't pay the bills and suck up a lot of positive energy from always being mad about not getting enough likes! I'm totally off of it and now I figure that whether my Facebook acquaintances care or not, I should post things on there that are important to me and have a really good message, which is usually about inspiring anyone to do something positive and have fun. It's about the quality over quantity for me which is unlike the soulmate who tries to do both but probably manufactures them with less quality! (She's a soulmate in secret now for life but I think dating my type will probably end up becoming a better soulmate.)

Putting in the Effort

A friend has admitted to me that she can't control her biological responses when she sees a very good looking man sometimes. Basically, she's making an excuse about being shallow without implying it at all to not feel bad about it and saying that it's just something women can naturally be born with in general. You sometimes have to listen to the person and it's how you communicate. 

It's important for the fully grown man to be a stronger vessel than the women he's around because it's just how the world is. From conversing with this pal, she eventually said that with the right person, preferences won't ever matter to you. She's cool about staying single though even if the right man never walks into her life. For being a single straight man, I have learned to become one of those rare guys out there who is happy to never be with anyone. 

I am content, even if I never find anyone to be with. However, just from being the person I am, I want to be constantly at my best while being happy if I'm still working at achieving anything, no matter how silly it might seem to me. I'm no longer feeling bad about constantly failing and see it as personal feedback to how I can keep on improving myself while turning the page. If I still enjoy it, then it only means that I'm meant to keep on progressing at it. For example, it must mean that I don't really enjoy gambling in Poker as much as I thought. 

I'm going to work out, take care of my appearance, and just be confident without needing to rely on anyone else for it. It's definitely a lifelong thing that I'm interested in doing, with a partner or not. It could turn into an advantage though with dating some women, but I prefer dating someone with better qualities. I'm not so hung up over appearances that much anymore and realize that a natural compatible personality along with enough qualities I look for in a partner will get me turned on. I'm also not looking to be with any single moms or ladies who have had a little too many serious relationships, which is my current preference. 

How I'm Personally Seeing My Female Friends

From having dated around a few times with some ladies who were serious about finding a husband, I already have a better understanding of what I'm looking for. It looks like I have been learning fast with my dating world because it's been necessary. 

With most of my female friends, they have been lacking somewhere in my partner preferences. I'm looking for someone decent and used to struggle with wanting a girl to look a certain way. I just don't care that much anymore. If she looks about a 5 to 7 out of 10 then I'll be happy if she has enough qualities I look for in a partner and has been single without too many serious relationships and no kids. 

What's helped me get over my personal shallowness about appearances is that I'm inspired from having grown up with lack of self-esteem over my height and appearance. I'm more indifferent about how I look. Heck, I even rate myself between a 5 to 6 most of the time. I think that's the general personal attitude I have over myself, no matter how much work I put into my appearance. Therefore, I'm interested in always being a 6 if possible because it's the best I can do. 

It totally makes sense that women around 5 to 7 have shown interest in me and even some of my female friends. It's just that they might have some baggage or be lacking in qualities or not have something within my preference. It's crazy because there's a variety of lady friends I would want to personally date, if they only had the right things I was looking for. I never really seriously pursued them either but I guess I'm lucky to be instinctually smart about holding off until I find out. 

It's helped build my character while enjoying staying single. Getting into a relationship will only be an enhancement but not a requirement to be content for myself. This is a tough pill to chew for most people. 

Finally, a Closing Message to Crazy Lee

You were yelling at me over stuff that didn't pertain to you and you
said you were trying to help. You weren't being helpful and then you
put up a restraining order and then complained about me bugging you in
court and couldn't explain that the document you made up was enough to
put a restraining order on me. It's legally not enough to do it, so
you intentionally withheld details.

You were being crazy and I think I have a case against you to
countersue if I really needed the money to go seek a therapist or
counselor. I managed just fine eventually.

I have communication under my belt and think you guys were all being
young and stupid with me. I don't think there's anything wrong with
just wanting you to accept a Facebook connection. Heck, you could even
adjust security settings.

You guys were just being really uptight and dealing with anger issues.
You guys show it by yelling at me in frustration and making up stuff
that doesn't make sense. If it's that bad, then turn me in to
authority. I accept it but you haven't and the consequences weren't
that bad.

You expected me to go out quietly, but it never happened. You were
just being incredibly wrong and I had a hard time talking through it
because it was confusing my brain so much and making me so angry the
whole time! I just stayed quiet while I was mad.

You just went completely ape crazy with me in person. It's such an
embarrassment that I think you guys have autism or something now that
you can't see things and have some tunnel vision. It's no wonder you
guys aren't sitting at the top after saying you guys think you know
more than me. You guys were being like selfish divas from feeling
something that had nothing to do with me and wasn't serious as well.
Someone should have stepped forward by now.

If I'm still making you guys react in this manner, then I think it's a
good time for you guys to still see a therapist. I'll be around just
to double check on you. I mean peace this time and have no problems
communicating your problems with me even around the people you care
about.

I have no qualms about coming across as rude just because you feel
that way. I'm just communicating very strongly and in a negative tone
my opposition with you in person. This has become personal now between
all of you and me.

Hope you guys get better though and learn to manage your angry
emotions in a much cooler fashion.

Always Making a 100% Effort

I think the only way to achieve this is to be mindful about it and then not stress yourself out about it, while completing tasks you have set up for yourself to achieve any purpose you have in mind. For a good example, I guess it makes sense that anyone can be mindful about having fun and just relaxing, which is a completely cool thing to do and how anyone can easily turn it into a habit. 

I'm interested in connecting with any woman out there now just to gain some experience with dating. I'm not really looking for anything serious to be honest and just want it to compliment myself with finding a good partner in the long run. 

Well, first things first is that I need to work on feeling more accomplished and then get comfortable with imagining myself on wedding day.  

Adapting to Better Methods

I'm constantly seeking a way right now to improve my standard of living. I'm basically doing this from trading in general. It looks like I'm switching more over to a swing trading method now and  relying on high timeframes so that I won't have to monitor the screens constantly. 

I'm looking forward to the day that I start killing it and won't have to come into any office anymore. I'm also ready to get married now to any decent looking girl. My preference is that I would like her to have an awesome personality and enough good qualities, while never having had any kids nor being in too many serious relationships and never married. 

All of my good female friends fall short of what I'm looking for. I don't have that many of them either. 

Best Teacher With Dating

I think the best teachers for dating are from the few ladies who I briefly dated and I was brave enough to ask them related questions to improve myself at it. One of them said it's about how you carry yourself. 

The other said to not ask them if you want to start off as friends, if you like them! I think I didn't communicate properly with the last one but that does sound like common sense. I told her that it's been a long time since I've dated. It seems like these few girls are actually serious about finding someone to be with, and I think that's how it should be. 

If someone's heart is not in it, then you shouldn't really be serious that you are going to change their mind in the first place. I now understand that a buddy's ex saying that he hates me for being a close friend to this girl was being stupid! My buddy never really had her heart seriously set on the relationship. I think I might have given her ex the wrong advice but I did have good intentions. I think playing it safe was the way to go but he got mad about it, so yeah, he was being stupid about it in the end. 

Being Patient About Getting Wealthy

I'm starting to see that making money is about waiting to see how it goes on a monthly basis, especially when it comes down to investing and trading. So far, I have been able to put a lot of energy into it and it's starting to formulate into an informal system that I keep to just myself. I'm analyzing the chart and coming up with a decent strategy that works and will make money in the long run. Nothing is for certain though, but as long as the strategy averages out into something reliable, it's something that can really be ongoing. 

The rule of thumb that I'm teaching everybody interested in me is that you have to be able to understand how much you're risking. You have to imagine how comfortable you would be if you ended up losing it all. You don't really know what's going to happen but you can manage the amount that you can lose and at how much volatility. It really comes down to how comfortable you are with managing your money. Everybody will be different.

A friend's mom was asking me about getting started and I advised her not to do what other successful friends are telling her because the results may vary. It's pretty much being as smart as possible and being patient about gaining riches. This is pretty much about making a living. 

My Private View of Some People With Autism

I have a private view about soulmates too. The soulmate I'm referring to is not considered to be my soulmate by most people's standards in this world. She is to me in my heart, so I'm just not going to bring it up with anyone because I'm not interested in being with her at the moment! It's weird right? People say she's not my soulmate and I'm not interested in her, but I still see her as a soulmate.

Well, anyway, I think this soulmate of mine has a form of autism! I say this because she says she's aware of stuff while acting in a very offensive manner to me while she wasn't able to pick it up that it was very off putting to me. What she did was just tell my short buddies and me in person that she's not interested in dating short guys. What's weird is that she was also in one of her rebounds from a failed serious relationship and came onto me like she was in heat! Man, it was so weird. It feels like she was on her monthly quite often because she sounded so cranky all the time.

Well, this soulmate of mine who I think developed a form of autism is also not the most wonderful person in the world because of her being how I described it. From finally going on a date with a person I'm interested in while we both confirmed it was a date after, it's really been an eye opener. 

Optimizing Time Well Spent

I'm starting to understand the proper strategies to apply. They are of course ethical and well-intended. 

Playing online Poker for real money is actually a fun game for me, and I do have a goal which is to profit a certain amount each day but the time varies to get to it. A set time is something I don't really have any control over and feel is necessary to have to enjoy a good life. 

Therefore, I can't rely on it anymore to make a living no matter how much I have an urge to make it one. It goes against my very well-being. I think the smart thing to do for killing some time then is to read and complete advanced courses related to software development.

Dealing With Difficult Personalities

We all have people in our lives who sometimes act like they suck in carrying themselves in whatever our relationship is to them. I am able to do so well and outshine a bunch of people because I'm just better at feeling that way and putting a lot of focused effort into it naturally. It's the confidence that I have been waiting for that finally arrived for me. 

Something new that I've learned is that some people's qualities just suck and are totally lacking. It's because of these qualities that make the desire of wanting to be with some ladies undesirable. It's a deal breaker for me. It's crazy because I never thought of it like this before. I'm so much more about the qualities and personalities of women now because their physical appearances don't really amount to much personal attraction for me anymore. I'm a lot older and all I'm reminding myself of is that I'm looking at a very beautiful outward shell with some of them. Of course, if some of them really worked on it and became so much better than my mind could change in an instant. However, I don't count on this happening overnight and there are plenty of ladies out there who may already be someone right for me. 

I've learned that I am pretty confrontational so I have no fears of being this way anymore. If the person I'm confronting can't put him or herself in motion to make you happy, then it's because he or she has some type of autism. I mention autism because it's like a fixed way of thinking the person has wired him or herself to be like from a natural setting. I've learned to be quite open minded and also a lot better at communicating which is the key to all of this. 

In conclusion, Crazy Lee and some of her mates are really people to me who have a form of autism. They have qualities that they can work on, but don't see it as necessary because they don't agree with me. It's pretty much viewing it as them having a form of autism whether it's temporary or not in a one-sided manner. 

From coming to this acceptance, it's now easier to strategize how to communicate with them on the spot without any preparation. I just know that my direct communication is an asset that will work to my favor. 

Personal Tricks I've Learned About Dating

The first thing I've learned about dating is to figure out what the girls you are dating are mainly looking for. It was weird that my parents signed me up for a format where we are supposed to meet each other and then become spouses.

Anyways, I'm part of it now and I was just treating it like it was originally not a real date so I wasn't being serious about it. I was just having fun and getting to know people. I wanted to hang out with these girls again because they are decent but they were like no because there's no chemistry!

I now know that it's because I wasn't flirting with them. The main thing is to flirt with them by telling them things you like about them with what you see in a life partner. The next thing is to let them openly discuss how they feel about your differences. These two things are what I wasn't doing enough of and it's something I just didn't think about because I wasn't being serious enough. 

Everything else like taking care of your appearance is nice and should be done at the best level you can do for yourself. I now understand that real dates are about doing these types of deals, but the most important is doing the first two things I mentioned just previously.

Oh I get it. It's crazy. I was thinking about it all wrong but then I ended up meeting a person who is right for me. She ended up helping me set things straight, even though I messed up our date! I'm not really embarrassed about it or anything. I'm ready to make progress and I'll be trying to get another shot at her after a while if I don't find anyone else.

Mature Revelation

***This is something I recently sent to my peers.***

"I was really shy to mention this and maybe it was because of my stubborn attitude about wanting to be so manly and holding onto so much silly pride.

You guys crossed the boundary and kept on egging me with advice that was bothering me. I influenced you guys to stop and this was by complaining enough with annoying texts or messages that you couldn't understand but knew something was bad. I was so shy and angry at the same time trying to let it all out but couldn't so the emotion would never go away for a while. I was too angry and selfish about something to even go get help and so motivated to make it happen. It was right under my nose.

At least I influenced you guys to stop even if it meant you to forcibly cut off communication with me. My doors are open for chatting anytime you feel comfortable. I will continue to respect your space with anything you feel angry and selfish about." 

Intended meaning:

I need to communicate with you in person that you never were meant to give me any advice since you decided to cut off communication. Experts never need to do that. Also, I need to tell you that I will respect your space from still feeling angry and selfish about anything dealing with me about this. I'm lucky to have finally discovered that I have my main need already met with you cutting off communication and desiring to move on. 

I Will Find Her

I don't care how long it takes me but I will someday meet the one even though I just let one slip by me! This might take me longer than I thought but it's great that I'm about to talk to a trusted lady friend who knows a lot about dating. She pretty much says that there's nothing I can do about it. 

I just have to keep on trying, until I find someone who is into the whole package with me. I'm going to have to just start asking questions relating to our relationship status. It's going to be supposedly uphill from here, but I'm ready to move forward. 

Improving Upon Dating

For my third date, I thought I had this one in the bag but I totally botched it up. It wasn't my best moment to shine and she was definitely the right one to try to start a family with. What's great is that she was good about being honest with me and helping clear up some misunderstandings I had with her. 

I think she was the one, but I botched it up so it's back to the drawing board. I totally screwed this one up and looks like I'm at the hands of a sad matchmaker who doesn't understand what I'm doing wrong with these awesome women I'm able to go on a date with.

At least it was a good experience and I'm glad that I need to get better with connecting and pursuing a romantic relationship. I think it's time to try it again. 

Looks Don't Really Matter to Me Anymore

Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. From asking my mom and a friend who happens to be physically attracted to me, they both have stated that my appearance is a 7 out of 10. I find that to be not bad since I personally rate myself as a 5 at my lowest point while averaging out to a 6 during my best years. 

From reading a book on attracting potential love prospects, it states that you should stick to someone who is no more than two grades higher or below you. I think I should try to stick to my base of 5 and not go above 7 to be on the safe side. A 10 will likely be too beautiful for me to handle.

Becoming Winning Trader

I'm really hunkering down on my trades lately and it's pretty uncanny that I put together a crypto trading system that might be very effective. I want to test out a few new ideas though, so I will be getting around to do that one of these days. 

It looks like using multiple timeframes is turning out to be my trump card. I'm still developing a useful technique for Forex, so it's pretty wild in that I'm still using some but it's still being accounted for with me making net profit. I can afford the small total loss at any given month now. 

Current Feelings About Finding a Girlfriend

As of this moment, I feel obligated to listen to my messed up dad. I think he has some form of autism because he can't let go of some insecurity that would make him happy. He's pretty much crossed the boundary and is never turning back on this one. I don't really care to disagree about anything with him, since I don't really want to be that close to him anyway. The only way I'm going to be able to do this is by becoming rich on my own terms. 

It's basically getting involved with interracial marriage. My dad will never budge from his unreasonable view. This is what I personally believe in that we are all part of the same species and only have different upbringings and skin tones. I am actually open to learning about these cultural differences and even producing beautiful offspring from it. 

I'm still not hesitant about marrying someone from my own ethnicity though. It's just that it would feel more free to have a choice and live outside of someone's roof who doesn't believe in something that is morally permissible, while I'm okay with it. I'm okay with saying that it's not his life, but my own and that he's being stupid about assuming how I would comply to any personally important demands based on how he sees it. He might as well just die ungratefully while living this imaginary nightmare he concocted from his childhood.  

I've been getting a good amount of interest from single moms out there, but I'm not interested in helping pick up any of their pieces. It's going to be too messy for me. It doesn't matter how lovely and fitting she is for me, but I'm just never going to budge out of this personal belief. The only exception I will make is if I end up becoming a parent to someone else and break up. It will hurt me a lot though, if it gets to this stage so I intend to keep on taking my time and marrying well. 

I would rather wait for happiness to arrive rather than making hasty compromises that don't align with my own personal belief. It doesn't matter to me how long it takes, nor even if I don't ever find anyone because I have learned to stay happy. Doing this is just an add-on for me. 

Laying Off Poker During Flexible Hours

Online Poker is definitely my goto game for entertainment whenever I have downtime and can get to it. However, I want to get better at managing my stress levels and being more clever about managing my time and constantly staying in a high state of happiness! 

I'm going to make reading and programming my next options of preferred choice after being done with my work. Fortunately, programming is also a main part of my job which I'm lucky to be doing. It's helped bring in some money that I can be relaxed about while feeling some purpose has been resolved for me. I'm ready to move on and do my own thing now but I want to play it safe and smart. Why rush if it's pretty good for me right now already. All of these things are just addons for me. 

At the very core of it all, I have my faith in Jesus and it's been like a rock that has kept me going while feeling so excited about living life! I'm ready to also find myself a good wife and possibly start a family while enjoying some riches and comfort of living. 

Ultimate Money Making System

It looks like I may have fine tuned myself a swing trading Forex system that could generate large sums. I could be looking at a very easy, early retirement right now. I don't know too much about this market to see if it's okay to share with others about my system. It would be more like bragging about how I'm the best and constantly bringing in steady profit despite some bumps that all traders inevitably have to suffer. It would be pretty cool for my own ego, but I honestly don't know how long it would last. I'm going to have to regrettably keep it under wraps the day I get this routine down until the day God allows something in the universe to help me see that it would be beneficial for me in the long run like maybe passing it down to a wonderful son or daughter!

I think cryptocurrency and stocks are something you can willingly share with others at any point in time. This is only because I have always been experiencing a sufficient amount of success from someone on the Internet having shared it with me. Forex is such a crazy and rare market to speculate in, but the earning potential is definitely huge while being able to manage leverage legally, which the idea of it will probably scare off most risk-taking investors! 

I'm trying to make Forex my biggest breadwinner but it's a highly risky niche at best to be a part of. I happened to have jumped on the bandwagon early in my trading years and developed a bonded relationship with this market, so I don't see any means of not continuing anymore until something forcibly shuts it off! 

Improving Upon Finding Potential Love Partners

I just finished reading upon the basics of how a person should treat his dating partner. From going out to have dinner with a buddy, I ended up practicing these moves on her while not really feeling moved into being in a relationship with her. I was just being kind and making an effort to understand that this is how dating is going to feel like and what to expect for the upcoming blind date I have scheduled. I'm going to continue practicing to get sharper on these skills with her. She seemed to love it, so I'm not going to tell her unless she notices something weird and unnatural about it and brings it up! 

Last night, I started reading into the more psychological aspects of the human mind with what they search for in a potential love partner. Without a doubt, I think a lot of people are superficial when it comes to looks because it is important to them. Some won't say anything about it to appear nice which I appreciate while with friends or try to downplay it, but deep inside our conscience it does affect who we fall in love with. 

I'm trying to make a stand against this natural instinct and not make decisions based on looks with anything related to love. One of the reasons is because as we get older, we are guaranteed to no longer look that good compared to the new, upcoming generation. I want to stay in a stable and happy relationship. I'm just like another normal human being in wanting what's best for myself and this is what I happen to believe nowadays. 

There are other factors with good looks- there's money, status, knowledge, and personality. The book does recommend to judge yourself or use people you trust to rate your overall appearance on a scale of 1-10. My mother gave me a 7 which isn't bad or could be from suspecting favorable bias. Another female friend who adores me thinks I may be above average but refused to give me a score. It's really about perception, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 

I have a picture of the blind date I arranged to see. She looks really pretty and I personally rate her facial features as a 7.  I'm not really going to care if she looks overweight. I'm all past it now. I want to see if I can work out an intimate relationship with her that will lead to a lasting marriage. 

I personally believe your face is a very large representation of your attractiveness. I rate the girl I regularly hang out with as a 7. She's pretty lucky in that category from having already been born with it. The book recommends not going beyond two grades above your perceived ranking in appearance. At best, I believe I'm a 6 but only if I'm really on it with taking care of my face and going to the gym. If I leave it as it is, I become a 5.5 at best and about 5 at the worst. I might be able to literally get to at least a 6.5 though. I have experienced straight women who were my acquaintances sharing with me that I'm so good looking after grooming myself and working out. Their ranking to my perception ranges from 4 to 7. I had the looks category down back then but I wasn't doing enough right moves from lacking confidence to enter into any form of relationship with them. 

It's not just maintaining an average face from putting in all this hard work regularly and for life that counts now. I also need to showcase my other areas, which I have naturally been focusing on all this time. This book has really helped me out, since I'm not really spazzing out like a dimwit. I have the confidence I need and yes, I will say it, I overcame roughly 98% of my inferiority complex. 

Grinding It Out Properly

I think playing online Poker is a reminder to me of how it's not going to feel good that you just spent time on something that feels like all your energy was wasted. This is what I also worry about while conducting higher level things. It's the stress that I'm worried about and want to constantly avoid while making money doing something else that's less time consuming and more fun while less stressful. 

I'm going to accept that grinding is supposed to be a way of life for me. It's how it helped me go places while I was still growing as a person and pretty much closed off to things while undergoing so much shallow insecurities and putting in the effort to always be nice around everyone. 

For the most part, I'm considerably pretty well-liked. I realize that some friends who have gone astray with me are going through some form of autism, which is infuriating to deal with. In these situations, you just have to communicate in a detailed and sound manner. I'm capable of doing it, thanks to growing up with my annoying mother! 

I'm going to dedicate myself to learning to program and preparing myself in this field just to pass the time whenever I don't have enough distractions because it's just something I want to accept myself doing now. It's a feeling of stress that I always want to dominate with confidence and patience. On top of this, I want to keep on reading and make time for hanging out with open-minded people. I currently have a female buddy who hits me up. She's been getting better for me to be around because she was initially a fuss to deal with and I could have walked out on her but my stubbornness didn't let me. 

I think we shared a similar fate with one another, so maybe we could spark an intimate relationship some time down the road if it makes sense to but as of now, it's always conquering these lustful feelings and seeing for who she really is to me underneath everything- a true friend! Sometimes, I don't feel like hanging out with her but I just do it anyway because I want to give her company. She's been the one to ask me out most of the time; we're just buddies and it's going to stay that way for a long time, I think. 

What I Think

With all of these annoyances and necessary things I needed to do for myself to find comfort, yeah, a soulmate wasn't being that wonderful of a person to me for the past couple years. It was just all about her while being so impulsive. I think she is still prone to giving over to having mental lapses of temporary autism. 

It's like she has this image of being a cranky and washed up old lady to me. She kept on asking me why some things don't happen the way she wants them to. I believe the reason is because the fault really lies with her. I wasn't able to speak up and voice my opinions too well, but I'm glad that I did even if it was in the form of a very off putting joke that I loved spewing privately all over her just to get back at all the negative things I felt she said about me in person, when she could have never brought it up to begin with. She was such a mess and from bringing it up out of feeling indignant, I don't mind any misunderstanding or hostilities it can lead to. I am able to communicate and elaborate what I fully think in a stoic manner. 

Ready to Find Love

I have been doing some reading up on what a friend says is basic, but nonetheless it's helpful to me because it saves time from having to go out and acquire it with real world experience. In a sense, I think what I'm doing is better and also necessary since I'm now ready to find myself a fiancee. 

Finding love shouldn't really be a thing that's forced upon others nor really questioned if the person isn't ready for it. It's not something that needs to be addressed and what I believe is that, you don't need an erotic love partner to have fulfillment in this life. 

I think finding love is really something that happens on an individual basis and even if there's some insecurity or sadness, it's okay to leave alone. I believe it's something that needs to be settled by the individual, and it's not a problem to me if the person never gets there. 

For a friend to have constantly brought it up with me and not do anything about it for himself, it was really pestering me. I think he does have a form of autism from not being able to understand or try to relate to what I felt was wrong about him. He only ends up trying to change the topic.

Approaching Financial Independence

Personally, I'm happy to be living the life I have going now. It's to the best of my ability and what makes things so exciting for me is that I anticipate working hard to keep on making it better to reap so many benefits later. It doesn't matter when it's going to end for me because I have learned to always live with this mindset. 

I'm now open to marrying someone who can help me approach this goal faster. I think with the current potential love partner I will be meeting next week, I'm going to be trying to plant some seeds that will convince her that she's the right wife for me. I'm only looking to be close enough to the ideal husband she wants. I will be just my true self and see if I can work things out with her on our first, semi-blind date.

It's really helping that I'm preparing for all of this by reading a research-backed book about falling in love! I've been totally clueless this whole time and from reading it, I'm absorbing it like a sponge. Here's a basic acronym that I will share: SOFTEN- (s)mile, (o)penness, (f)orward, (t)ouch, (e)ye contact, and (n)od.  

Becoming Smarter

I'm finding out that I'm maintaining myself a lot better from taking the time to read thoroughly about something everyday. Currently, I'm reading a book on how to literally make anyone fall in love with you. Without looking at it first, I came to the conclusion that the one can really be anyone and even the person you least expected it from. It comes down to being at the right time and place of their life. 

When all things look like it's faring worse then just communicate while not being a jerk about it! To me, this just means being blunt while not getting lost in any angry thoughts which I will keep on labeling as temporary autism. 

Available With Finding Love

I want to work really smart and make a lot of money consistently. I'm now open to love before I turn rich, but she's going to have to be my ethnicity just because of my parent's influence. 

However, if I'm able to turn rich then I will ignore my parent's autistic view of marrying only my own ethnicity. I honestly don't care about interracial marriages anymore or even finding myself in one. 

For my next date with a girl of my ethnicity, I'm interested in trying to make things work with her. She's a potential love partner. For my other female friends, they are not part of my ethnicity but they also could become a potential love partner if certain things did line up. Technically, it could be with any lady if my minimum requirements are met. 

Looks don't matter anymore. It's more about attracting love from stimulating each other's brain or love conscience, which is the most important. 

Reading Good Books Lately

Something that's been good of late has been taking up some time every evening to read. This doesn't even count the good amount of time I usually take to read all of my emails thoroughly. It's starting to become enjoyable and helping out with making my brain function healthy. 

It's not so weird anymore and the thing I'm doing now is catching myself not paying attention to something and going back to reread something. This is actually very hard to do with lecturing. I think I just need to take good notes on it if I find my mind wandering off so I can just look back and see if I can make some sense out of it. 

My mind is capable of simplifying a lot of intractable information going through at once now. It's just the art of applying it that becomes the challenging part and something I would have to focus a lot of time on because it's the most important. 

Proper Goal Setting

The good thing is that I finally know what I really want to do. If it's not working at any given moment because I feel stuck with something, then I'm confident enough to just put it on autopilot that comes from my subconscious. It's like these reasonable thoughts can come from a blink of an eye!

The next thing to do is to every once in a while to think about if what I'm doing is reaching a goal. If it is, then I should feel good about it and continue. If not, then I have to ask myself what I need to change and then put it into action. 

Overall, this is pretty much the gist of how to be a self-managed one minute manager! 

Putting Self into Action

I have a lot of work to do still, but for the most part, I need to stay more accountable to myself and start putting in the time and effort to stay as efficient as possible.

In a nutshell, I just need to start committing myself to finishing work and finishing up my side routines quicker which is a privilege to be able to enjoy right now. If I get stuck on something, then I don't think it's a problem to keep on working at a decent solution and grinding away. This is just what I need to be doing for myself.

Goals for Today

Today, I just feel like making a lot of money from trading and investing. It's pretty much what I'm banking on for creating personal wealth as soon as possible.

I really want to try hard to do well at it, while not letting it distract me too much from getting my work done. Playing Texas Hold Em' is also another thing that I'm playing as well, just because it's fun to grind my time if I don't have anything else to do. I think I'll just leave it as a last resort then, plus it would be something that I'm working at to increase more earnings. 

Self-monitoring to Reach Goals

I'm starting to feel a lot less worried about getting stuck with having to finish some overwhelming task. What's also pretty cool is that I finally have a working game for playing online Poker. It seriously is an up and down game, but it's all about staying in it while doing all you can and then catching a profitable momentum before cashing out. The time needed and opponents being faced are always going to be different. It's really a game of patience and waiting your turn to receive some spare change headed your way. By optimizing your skills, you can also increase your earning potential! 

It's really got to the point that I don't care about how bad my looks are. I just see myself as being different and it's not something you really need to judge for yourself as being negative. Besides, I feel a lot of confidence now. 

I honestly think now that people like Crazy Lee, who were making themselves so difficult to get along with, might be dealing with some form of temporary autism. They really aren't making themselves aware of the situation and haven't been able to read my intentions too well. It has been that bad, but I don't care about them being that way anymore. I see them as having been irritating and mean, but still funny people. 

Figuring Things Out

Yesterday, I started reading a best seller called One Minute Manager. What I've learned from it so far is how all you really need to do is write down each major goal in 250 words or less so that it can be glanced at in a minute or less. 

Next, you give yourself a minute every once in a while throughout the day and ask yourself how you are doing and if the things you are doing is promoting on reaching your goal. If not, you then simply fix it by finding and applying the solution. That's pretty much it. 

I have been so distracted as of late at work from trying to make money off of my daily trading. It's something that I will be limiting as soon as I finally get it. 

Using Time Wisely

I have discovered enjoyment in reading a good book! I've finished a few books already this year and it's more than I have ever done any other year. I have noticed for myself that my mind tends to wander off while reading, so I have to go back and reread a section. What I have picked up on that's been useful for me is speed reading. 

It's not the greatest yet, but I can work with it and expect to keep on gradually getting better at it along with increasing my motivation and comprehension. It's great that I have books that I'm interested in reading and it's a line up waiting for me back home. 

I have a trip coming up where I'll be accompanying a friend who is moving to Texas. He wants a traveling buddy to switch off driving duties. I will be flying back home. I want to pack up most of my things tonight if possible. I don't think it should be that big of a deal though.

Something new that I've picked up on from reading a good book is that it's okay to make decisions in a split second with complicated things, so I will take it with finishing up tasks that just clutter up my mind. I'm also going by my intuition and being true to myself while socializing with friends, instead of worrying about what I will be saying. I'm not afraid of dealing with disagreements and discussing these issues in a plain manner. 

Making My Life Easier

I have switched over to a more sensible and relaxing trading approach, according to what I think works. Of course, it's always subject to changes but now since I've made this jump, I feel like I don't need to be constantly looking at it anymore. 

It feels like my free time is starting to open up again. With playing Poker, I feel that it's really about just hanging in there until you catch the right cards and have proper momentum come to you. I think you just set a target and then just go after it, while sometimes spending a considerable amount of time on a rinse and repeat cycle. 

Channeling Productive Energy

I don't think it's really a matter of feeling it or not but just doing what you are normally accustomed to and getting a nice result out of it. If you don't really like something, then sometimes you are just stuck with it and have to do it out of feeling obligation for the moment. Once you get it done out of dedication and commitment which I have found myself doing so many times, then I think that's just how it is.

I think the best way to meet someone is to establish a physical connection with them via seeing them in person and just communicate to see if you can establish any form of relationship with any compromises, if needed. If it can't be met, then you just have to move on. Fortunately with a close hangout buddy and even though I have feelings for womanizing her and even have this for every proper girl I know, I'm able to deal with it from a deeper perspective. I believe that even if I am under the influence of anything, I won't even act on this instinctual drive! By ignoring those feelings momentarily, I only see her as a friend and even if I developed true feelings for her then I would be able to let her go on living happily if she needed to be with someone else. My true love for anyone isn't selfish at all!  

Besides, I can always make room for finding another soulmate to be with. I don't care how long it takes because I'm always going to stay happy wherever I'm at in life! 

How I See Myself

To get what I want, I think it's about finding out all of the accurate information you can get. In a sense, you have to be open-minded to receive it and just naturally gravitate towards it. I feel like I have been associating myself in the right clubs these days by mainly just being a reader and letting things that make sense to me flow better for my life. 

It's pretty hard to say, but it could be that I'm finding myself to be more lucky to be in the position I'm in. I don't have an appearance that the majority in the world grew up to admire but I don't see myself being different as a bad thing. I think I can still make the most of what I have been given with my body and even keep on improving upon it for longevity and looks without getting any invasive surgery done!  It's a lot of hard work well spent for me.  

In a sense, it's a form of autism with letting yourself go and losing control over things without being aware of what's going on. I don't think it's horrible, if you think you're having fun with it, as long as it doesn't harm or wrong someone. Plus, if you don't like it then you can just look to prevent yourself from ever doing it again. The truth can drastically hurt though when you put it out there for someone, and I believe you have to man up to it while communicating even if it's directed at the wrong person. I'll just be always looking to play a lot smarter from opting for an easy angle that works. 

It seems like I'm having fun and just look different in general from what I'm accustomed to seeing. I still want to do the best I can to always look nice, just because it feels good for me. I don't really need anyone else's approval in that category. I'm going to start investing in facial products and working out more for muscles just because I want to make myself feel like a good looking stud while looking in the mirror. I don't really need others to tell me this. This may be the case for me, but I don't really care how other women look when it comes to dating purposes now. 

Just by association with my preferences, I think I'm not attracted to lazy women so if they aren't fit then I might be wondering if they don't think of exercising as a priority which would make me overly concerned about their future health and being able to keep up with me from wanting them to tag along with my outdoor adventures. A soulmate doesn't really have this issue. The question I'm guessing someone might want to ask is why not be with her? I believe that I'm never supposed to be with her and how she should have found herself already being in a happy relationship and that's final! I think she's pretty autistic right now because of the stress that built up from three major breakups and not coping with it in a way that's mature enough for me. She's at fault as well for her messes from having done them while being a shallow individual.

Plus, I don't believe that appearances are the most important thing to get carried away with. It's more about how you conduct yourself with your mannerisms, actions, and nonverbal cues while spending time with someone and then form a loving relationship by getting to know them more intimately. 

I personally believe in being true to myself, so I won't hold anything back. If the love interest goes crazy and says she can't be with me, then she probably isn't that great of a person to begin with and has at least an autistic issue to work with while I hope she will come around at a later time with someone else. I find myself pretty easy to deal with and make compromises with. 

Staying Productive

It looks like since my swing trading sessions deal with using very intelligent systems that have been designed by myself and don't take very long, I may have a lot of guiltless free time opening up for me during the evenings now. I'm looking forward to making a lot of money in the near future!

It keeps on getting better for me. It's unbelievable with the work I've naturally put into with the proper mindset finally paying off for me. I'm totally comfortable with putting my money at risk to make a lot of money, while doing my best to not lose any of it and to make a nice profit! 

I'm going to continue reading and conducting personal hygiene. I will also work on finishing up any errands that come to mind so I can save time and not have to really hustle. I want to utilize my time properly!  I am working on focusing very well. 

Exercising Self-Discipline

I think it's better to be a loving and hardworking person while accepting anything that's bad. Maybe you don't really have to think about it or just see the bigger picture which is pretty hard to do. My mental health has been doing a whole lot better as of late, and I've done this without seeing any therapist. 

I guess I have been working really hard on myself and trying to push myself to always do the right thing while staying focused and being nice to whoever happens to be part of my life. Currently, with a friend I regularly hang out with I do have thoughts of wanting to womanize with her often. It's just that these feelings are shallow and consistently get shot down on my own. When I look at my feelings for her from a deeper level, I only see her as a friend and how she still isn't good enough for me to want to date! According to her, we're very close friends and she's fond of my personality so I do have the most important quality she looks for in a person. She thinks of me as family and calls me buddy currently or jokes around by even calling me her dad since we're about seven years apart in age. I do demonstrate a pretty intelligent stature in the EQ category. It only keeps on getting better from growing more as a person via spending time with her. She's been an important catch for me!

I am getting old now and still haven't found a girl to marry yet. I'm going to be 39 this year. This is quite an issue because now I just don't seem to really care about the women I meet while dropping my standards a bit. I might actually detract unattractive women naturally from being myself the whole time and plus I am short. I don't think being short really matters either in the long run in personal relationships because it's all about being yourself and how you are able to connect with others. I don't really mind being opinionated and always true to myself even if it causes any fallout with people. It's truly their loss and I'm going to still be happy. 

I want to be more of my true self, so I can find the right woman to maybe properly have romantic chemistry with someday. I'm also accepting that the women who feel physically attractive to me might be already taken, so it makes sense that I've already been pursued after by few available women. It's crazy that the subtle details never crossed my mind, but now my mind is working from being secure with my outer shell! It's too bad that I might have influenced a soulmate to think bad about her own short stature and thus, become openly scornful about dating short guys! It really angered me and triggered me to text her an insulting remark that she has some trouble getting over. We aren't spending time with each other at the moment, but I think I will pursue her friendship again when things settle down and I've found myself a good girl. 

It doesn't matter for some reason when dealing with any form of insecurity by always trying your best. In a sense, I don't think I'm a bad human product in itself. It's more like most people in the world won't ever have enough time to figure me out. Through gaining more experience and knowledge about people's ways, I can finally see myself getting married to the person I want to be with. 

Switching Trading Perspectives

From not really wanting to consistently be focusing on the computer, I have decided to increase my stop loss risk by basing it off the weekly chart. In theory, if this system ends up working for me then I should be able to possibly automate trades based on this logic with smaller time frames and net a bigger return. I have manually been getting the right timing of the market but haven't been able to stop the bleeding on time from wanting to leave my trading positions alone as much as possible. 

This time, I'm opting to use bigger timeframes so hopefully I can relax more. I'm now open to taking a net average profit instead of trying to fight for every single cent. I will let it keep running until it starts giving back on average which is supposed to come from my indicators. The reason for doing this method is because I have accepted that I don't know what the market is going to do, and all I'm really doing is just trying to conveniently follow where the money is coming from. 

Therefore, I have decided to get busy with officially swing trading the Forex and cryptocurrency spot markets! 

Sticking to a Routine in the Evening

For the time being, I see myself trading Forex and cryptocurrencies, reading, washing up, and liberally spending my night before hitting the hay. 

I'm also starting to realize that I don't care if I end up staying a failure or not. I'm going to keep on grinding away even through all of the discomfort and suffering until I get there. I'm going to stay happy wherever I'm at and even if I missed some useful details. 

I no longer feel letdown because of negative circumstances, and I can relax from feeling comfortable while living as a Christian. I don't really have any judgments now with the women I want to date too and can be anyone except for single parents, the ones who are too old to bear children already, and maybe have been in a little too many crazy relationships already. I don't care if I never get there and how long it takes. I'm going to stay happy. 

Happy 4th of July

Well I don't know if anybody reading this blog isn't really American but yeah, I guess the reader should have been able to tell by now that I'm an Asian dude who was brought up in America somewhere that's considered to be a nice place to live. 

I'm starting to get this whole dating process, after just meeting someone out of the blue I fell in interest with. I'm not saying I'm in love with her because it's pretty weird for me to do that. I ended up making myself not fall in love with her at that one spot.

It's not so weird anymore now that I'm understanding it. I just need to find someone who is just right for me. I can meet several of them and they are practically my soulmate if they have or shown some interest in me. 

I do have a soulmate but she's not quite good enough for me, so I'm not going to really mention her anymore to my other dates. It's just not going to cut it and turn out to be a stupid joke to them after explaining everything. It's just how I feel. 

Laughing Underneath at My Parents

They signed me up for this dating agency and I am getting some great ladies out of a small handful to go on dates with. So far they have all said, I have failed to make them feel romantic chemistry. 

I want to work on some techniques with maybe a dating coach now. I sort of want to fine tune everything about myself, like I want to apply skin care on my face again and wear better clothes. I think talking is going to be most of the work, but it looks like communication might be one of my strongest assets. 

Personal Problem With Online Poker

For myself, I have finally realized that there is no set time period to ensure a desired profit. This does not really work for me too well with my time management because I only have so much time left before my mind wants to shut off. I have come to accept a different form of working on receiving profit on the side.

I am going to stick to overnight trading with Forex and cryptocurrency at the moment. It's the most accessible for me to play with, considering how I don't have that much capital compared to the very wealthy investors out there. I want to increase my ROI while increasing my accuracy and frequency of trades and also sticking with an overnight strategy. 

This allows for predictable time management because I can routinely analyze and make every trading decision within the same allotted time daily. The profit will vary, but at least I get to keep my schedule. I'm considering my time to be more valuable than trying to sit there and receive a lot of profit from playing Poker, even though I've become quite accustomed to doing well at it on most buy-ins. 

I'm going to lay off of Poker now only because it can conflict with my schedule of chasing after personal interests. The only time I can see it working for me is if I have a lot of downtime like during a road trip or waiting in a long line for an attraction. 

Creating Winning Trading Strategy

For the time being, I'm trading with three different timeframes among two different intervals. I'm taking precedence with the higher interval first. It's turning out that technical trading is indeed an artform. I don't really want to constantly be deadlocked with going back and forth while turning a small profit each month. I need more accuracy in order to turn a nice profit. 

It looks like from entering more of these setups, I may have a bigger chance at locking in big moves each night and then just repeat it. During the first hour of the afternoon, the market seems to be very unpredictable so I think I won't be entering any more trades in the morning to avoid nice trades messing up because of it. I will be looking to make my money from leaving it overnight from now on, and I think this is going to be the key to my success while having an easier time with it. 

Finding the One

I think abiding by my parent's rules isn't really going to make them happy in the long run. What they want is for me to find a Korean maiden they approve of for a wife and to have babies. However, this hope of theirs is slowly dying because there's not really anyone like that interested in me right now. 

I only woke up to the idea of getting married recently and I'm almost reaching 40 which makes me old while being able to still laugh it off with blocked out pain. I don't really care if I don't ever reach any of my goals. I'm going to still work through it and hopefully, in time it will get there. I think this is life for me as planned by God. Everyone has a different life setup for them, so I just happen to be sharing my own ideas here without receiving any judgement or backlash. 

In general, I must be a pretty likable person then if I'm not really attracting that much controversy anymore. Plus, I think I'm pretty funny and not really doing it for attention. I want to promote something special or excellent that might inspire others to try it at a later time. It's more like planting a good seed in a sense. 

I have been squashing my idiotic antagonists as well as of late. Boy, I think they are so stupid going against me when I haven't really been against them in the first place. They let themselves get carried away over nothing really bad which they thought was at the criminal level. I then said that I accept it all and to turn me in, which proves they were already being stupid because there's really nothing for them to go on, no matter how hard they try. With me pointing out what I'm going to do while calling them stupid, it's really me priming them to have low confidence in holding on to their irrational beliefs about me.  

Realizing Important Relationships

I realize that my feelings about being with a girl only really confirms my orientation with wanting to be intimate with them while getting married and then to let the rest of the fun things develop. What's been so important for me to know is that physical appearances don't really matter to me anymore. 

I'm only interested in the relationship itself. With all of the few good friendships I have with ladies, I have felt tempted to want to womanize each of them but I have held back those thoughts for good reasons. 

I have put a lot of effort into not getting carried away with it and now it's paying off with seeing the true side of my relationships as a fully capable and more mature guy. The initial tempting thoughts are just because it's in my instinctual personality to want to have fun like that with women in general. However, it isn't worth it enough for me because of my faith in Christ! 

It's crazy that my belief in having a relationship with God through Jesus has really shaped a lot of my main decisions all this time! 

The understanding I have gained is that beyond that temptation of lust with decent and close female friends, I see most of them still only as friends. The good thing about all of this is that I have already grown close with a soulmate! Her looks aren't the sharpest anymore but it never should have mattered to me to begin with.

She has sort of been bad of late as a person, but it still doesn't matter to me obviously. Another crazy thing about my relationship with her is that I don't believe in being with her even though I have feelings for her. It's because with all the partners she's ever had, I believe she was supposed to settle down with one of them. I'm holding her accountable for her personal choices forever! Because of all the negative results and stress she's built up for herself, she's a pretty bitter and enraged woman right now who I think should still consult a well-trained therapist. Maybe I can also provide some comforting words for her and help her out to receive the best for her happiness without compromising my own.

Focusing on Most Important Things

I guess for myself it's really trying to make some money on the side, read something, and go work out. For a side thing, I want to have awesome hygiene and time management while being committed to focusing on boring tasks. 

Listening to the Bible is hard for me, but I'm trying to stay focused. I want to be the best I can be and do something well while being successful at trading and investing now. I don't really need anything else now for earning a living. 

Creating a Better Outcome for Myself

I'm starting to understand that this mentality of taking necessary risks that I can afford to get to where I want to be is starting to take root. I can still be happy regardless if things don't end up the way I would have liked them to because it's just all in the mindset. Plus, I'm a true believer of Christ, so I feel protected even under the circumstances that I find myself facing a fearful death. Hopefully, it never happens and I will do all I can in my power to prevent such a personal travesty but if it happens then hypothetically, I'm ready to go meet Jesus. 

I really need to do the best I can now and to focus on doing a great job besides just sitting around trying to play a game of making money when I really should be focusing. 

Realizing My Trading Style

Ideally as a trader, I want to hang on to my profitable trades reasonably as long as possible so I feel comfortable trading on the 4-Hour chart as my main timeframe. I can be a day trader or short term swing trader now. With stocks, I'm definitely an investor and for crypto, I'm more of a long term swing trader. 

It's finally come to my attention that I'm looking for a decent position that lines up with my indicators in a simple fashion. I'm not trying to go really fancy and only want something that works for me while doesn't take me too much effort. I'm definitely finding myself spending more time on getting better at it and feel confident that I will be reaching my cusp of greatness soon. I can totally taste it.

Building Wealth Patiently

I'm really doing the best I can right now and it looks like it's a lot of waiting while trying to acquire plenty of knowledge that I can be comfortable running with while learning from my mistakes. I don't really feel bad about making mistakes now and see myself trying to learn from them and just constantly trying until I get there. 

It's going to be only a matter of time before I get really good at what I want to be doing. 

Visiting My Beliefs Again With a Soulmate

Last year, I kept on mentioning in a coy way that I felt like I was stuck with only one soulmate as a compromise. There's nothing wrong about it because I learned what works for me in addressing this heart situation for myself. I need to first block out all those feelings of wanting to just have some fun from hooking up while looking at it from only the surface level. 

There have mainly been two good female friends of mine and naturally I do feel this way but I know that it's because I am tempted with having these feelings of wanting to just womanize. I've been holding back on these urges all this time and not even succeeding from the getgo because I was just too shy to make any attempts about lacking some manhood from not feeling validated enough! 

I was just thinking too superficially about everything for a while. I've finally learned to cut it out.

By taking out those lustful feelings of womanizing and considering how I feel about my soulmate, she legitimately is a soulmate of mine! In contrast with another good female friend who I have these similar tempted thoughts, I don't feel that way with her. She's still not good enough for me! 

What makes things more interesting now is that I literally do have a soulmate and it's with no doubt on my end that I don't need to boast about it to the world. I am humbled by it because I do believe that I'm never supposed to date or be married to this soulmate. I think there's practically another soulmate out there for me to marry. In fact, I think it can be potentially any woman at the right stage of their life and is still single!  

Definite Possibilities

From losing a little bit of money at any period, I don't feel discouraged at all when it deals with investing and trading. I always feel like I'm still in it and desire to keep on getting better at it while making it something I can make myself very comfortable at for earning a living.

I have found my niche now for earning a living and so far, it feels good to be back on the rise again while learning to keep everything so simple especially after everything unwraps itself so I can make adjustments with my experience and keep on shaping a successful model from just learning by continually doing what just works for me! 

Simple Formula to Success

There's two good quotes that I can relate to. One is by Bruce Lee who says to learn from others anything that's useful, leave out things that are useless, and add to it with anything you want. The other one is by Bobby Flay who says that the simple formula to success is to take risks, learn from your mistakes, and keep on trying until you become successful. 

The thing that I want to add in detail to those two wonderful paraphrased quotes is to risk only what you can afford to lose, especially when it comes to learning to make money from trading and investing. 

I did run up my trades on double time this month so I'm taking a loss of twice as much of what I usually lose- $100. It's not a big problem for me. I think it becomes a problem when you get sick of losing and start dreading the feelings of not winning. This probably means that your subconscious is saying that it might not be the right fit for you. 

To lose significantly much less after putting in so much effort with a game of Poker, I start having those negative emotions of wanting to quit. However, with trading and investing in stocks, Forex, and Bitcoin; I don't feel those things and want to keep on moving forward to keep on getting better for next time while focusing on recouping my losses. 

I've found my cup of tea for making a living. This is going to be my one man business and I will get to be my own boss while holding on to a peace of mind. 

Becoming Better Focused

I think to be better focused, it just comes down to one step. It's simplifying the process! 

By simplifying things, it just makes things so much easier and leaves room to accomplish more desired tasks. I'm now looking to just be myself intuitively while blocking out all the unnecessary bad thoughts. Even my communication has started to feel less forced and more smoothed out. 

There's really no worries. I believe that it's okay to argue what you are doing isn't wrong and isn't that big of a deal, if it's a problem to others. From there, I guess if it ends up hitting me pretty hard then I can change for the better. 

Understanding What to Look For

I now know for relationships that my preferences are not in the physical appearance anymore because I think I can grow to accept being with any lady based on how they appear. I can basically get into that kind of intimate mood very easily whenever I desire, even if my heart is not fully into it. 

It's really about finding someone who I experience that physical chemistry with from just talking to them and knowing that it's appropriate to move forward. I personally like quality time spent together while being with someone who is decent enough and likes the idea of doing it enough times for enjoyment in marriage. I just have to feel like she's the right person for me. Physical appearance doesn't matter to me anymore and even a soulmate doesn't have the ideal body I grew up idealizing. 

Adding Another Task

Yesterday, I managed to read a little bit of the book I'm currently working on along with doing some trade management. 

I would like to finish reading a full chapter this time. 

I think I'm going to just keep on building routine steps one at a time, until I'm able to multitask at once. We all have to start somewhere. 

Working on New Things

Looks like I'm going to be going after making my main money with learning to effectively and conveniently swing trade Forex while investing in Bitcoin. Once I can get a comfortable portfolio going, I plan to buy the top tier membership for an investing group that I am happy to be a part of and take advantage of it. 

I honestly don't really care about physical appearances anymore when it comes to finding my future wife. I only want to look at being physically attracted to her from having the right kind of chemistry via talking to her. 

I do have a soulmate, but now I believe there could be another soulmate out there for me, but someone I can marry. The current one I know is no longer the person I was really into. Still, I'm not taking anything away from her. I'll be coming around to be good friends with her again someday. 

Keeping Myself Occupied

I think what's important is to just do my best and stay occupied with doing a good job while reaching for my dreams. Mental health is very important so I'm pretty much stoic for the most part. 

I'm trying to no longer think with a shallow mindset while accepting things and sticking to my personal beliefs. I guess work could be about helping me gain money to invest and make myself wealthy. This is something I can say that I did on my own once I reach it someday while experiencing a lifestyle that I've always dreamed of. 

It's really important to have this flexible mindset while being willing to adapt and let the past go to focus on what you can do in the present while being the best you can be. 

Keeping Things Simple

I want to get the bare necessities done to get the ball rolling, but if I'm going to retire for the night then I won't hesitate doing so. From taking a personality test, it says that I'm messed up in a few areas with being a weakness. I don't really mind then I guess because it's good to be aware of it even though I don't know what it really is yet. 

I want to just work on trading a little, reading a little, working out a little bit, and getting my hygiene in order before doing anything else when I'm home after being done with dinner. I have been spending my time on my phone looking at other things, so I would like to hold off on doing this today.  

Interesting Change of Events

I'm interested in having a traditional marriage and possibly raising any number of kids and open to even adopting any if we can get to it. 

The thing is though that I don't really care about what I see on the outside anymore. I don't even care if she's very fat and others consider her to be ugly and not good looking enough for me or vice versa. 

I'm only interested in falling in love with the woman on the inside. 

I want to establish this connection by just talking to her and experiencing romantic chemistry. I also preferably want to be with someone who doesn't really care about wanting certain physical attributes that you can only be born with. 

These types of people who do care may not be bad people but they certainly aren't the most wonderful people in the world. Also, it's not like you can't be friends with them either because it's too shallow of a concern to even worry yourself over. I do have to admit that it can annoy me and feels offensive if it's targeted at me.  

By making fun of a soulmate's height, she was very offended by it because she does think superficially. 

It's not like she can't change this perspective either if she didn't want to, so I don't think it's a serious thing to be worried about. I don't need her to change so it's whatever and I'm going to find a soulmate who will fit me better. 

Growing as a Person

To really heavily consider physical attributes for finding a romantic partner, I think it's really superficial and conveys that the person who is doing this isn't that great of an individual to begin with. He or she may not be a bad person though, but is definitely not the most wonderful individual in the world. 

This is what I personally believe and that now I'm realizing it's better to block all of those externalities out and look at naturally engaging in chemistry based on who the person is from mainly communicating with them. It seems like being a cute fit happens quite naturally. 

My close buddy is someone who I do feel turned on by in a physical way sometimes but don't give into it from just knowing it's from a shallow angle and being used to it; I realize that I'm not really that attracted to her right now when it comes to the idea of having a deep intimate connection. She still has a lot more room to grow as a person. Without meaning any disrespect or contempt at all, she is pretty messed up in the head but not all that bad to the point where she isn't functional. She's dealing with a mental illness while seeing a therapist and I believe it can have a strain on our relationship if I wanted to pursue her. She's also not that into being a physically loving individual so it's quite funny that she feels lucky to have a partner who gets really busy to have time for her sometimes. She's also decided to not have any kids of her own because she can't deal with the negativity from having too many worries.

I think it's proper to just call her a buddy then and give her a friendly hug often because I do see her as a special person and from thinking it's nice whenever I go visit her. I want to also try hugging every girl I meet up for a date now whether the outcome turns out to be good or bad.