For the longest time, I've been thinking of how sex might be greatest thing for me and probably for a bunch of guys too. It would be meaningless sex if I wasn't in love with the beautiful woman. I mean all of that flesh and fulfilling some addiction to feel pleasure with a gorgeous body would be awesome if she was actually my loving wife! I wouldn't be able to get enough of it then. So yeah, meaningful and romantic love is something I would love to experience someday and if I'm not capable of getting there for whatever reason with how the chips fell for me, then I'm not going to fret about it.
Basically, I want to start making better use of my time while I'm feeling so weird or tired. It's hard and I keep on failing because I'm weak but I'm so glad at the same time to believe in a loving God through His Son Jesus and that I'm forgiven each time I truthfully confess and go after wanting to repent and be cleansed of my wrong doing. I'm fortunate that my evil deeds haven't caught up with the law or anything. It seems like my major sins really come from lacking self-control. I could do a whole lot better and not go after viewing porn from wanting sexual excitement in my life and not having that.
Yeah, I'm pretty normal then and want to be a pretty nice and confident dude. It seems to blend in well with people in general. No matter how silly I come across as and how inferior I feel which doesn't even matter. I just don't seem to care anymore and want to keep on improving.
