Pretty much, I'm in the mood for constantly making improvements for my own self. There's really not much to it, and it's just about putting in a lot of hard work I guess. I'm just going to keep it truthful with myself because it's been working for me and from having made some effort, I feel great.
I'm 34 now and one of my online dating profiles is being chased after by single Christian moms who are a few years older than me. I'm not really physically attracted to them or anything, and maybe there were a few I felt some buzz with but I'm just not really moved by them messaging me. Out of trying to be nice and having some humor, I just hit the "I'm interested" button and stop right there. I'm not really interested in paying for that service, Zoosk. I think I tried for a few months and the girls who were mutually interested in talking to me couldn't talk to me because they weren't subscribed as well, so I'm doing the same to these single moms who are messaging me. So far I think I've had about 40 connections in a few years. Hey that's better than none and they all mention they are "Christians" on their profile. I don't really know and I'm not feeling any buzz or calling or whatever that moves you from the Holy Spirit, so yeah, it's been interesting.
I think the online scene may be too difficult for me because I personally know that I'm not prepared for it. I know that I'll be good for dating and getting to know any girl by just hanging out. Hey, there's one girl who I get to hang out with and feel something special with. It's a pretty neat feeling and then she talks about how some guys are really cute and I'm thinking on the inside hmm, should I be jealous? I'm like maybe not and then I just smile along and enjoy it.
When I look at myself, I don't feel at my optimal state so with the confidence that I have, I'm starting to zero in on thinking with how even the hottest girl might sometimes have a few ugly shots of herself. I think this is what happens to a dude when he keeps over-analyzing physical beauty while watching porn.
I ended up watching a horror movie with a group of friends and it had a few rape scenes with female nudity and man, I was not aroused. I'm like to myself, this is a whole lot different from watching porn by myself. One of the girls who says I'm like her brother just opens up to me and smiles in a sweet manner. Oh, I think she just naturally has that cute gesture that gets some guys interested in asking her out. It really looks like she's into me, but she keeps saying I'm like her big brother.
Anyway, I don't seem to really care how hot she looks and I think I'm sort of digging her younger sister a little more. I just see some potential in her and I'm pretty much understanding the concerns these women have and what's making them tick or go crazy sometimes. That's probably why I don't really care that this pretty hot and close "girl" friend of mine wants to see me as a big brother- hey, that feels good to me actually.
