Well, this is definitely a fun post for me. I guess dealing with my own sexual hormones all of a sudden and it going on and off, my brain really wants to shut itself off and then my selfish conscience wants to engage in some auto-eroticism and prolonged arousal which then begets personal regret because I have no hot spouse to look forward to getting it on with.
It's the truth and I'm starting to realize it's just a hormone that supposedly comes from below or something a little off-center in my body and then wants to disperse all over to my other sensitive physical regions. It also can enter into my emotional side and just make me feel good momentarily and then by rash decision, I get curious and engage in playing with myself. Okay, this is totally T.M.I. to describe here, but for the sake of being honest even if it's embarrassing to me at this point in time and even if I go back to read and start laughing at myself in the near future from having got passed through this.
I'm going after a very difficult decision to not act out in a sexual manner by instinct. I want to show some self-restraint and not regret getting myself into unbeneficial situations. There's something that just doesn't feel wholesome by centering myself around sexual attraction and pursuing it. It's missing something really pure for me and I think it's a marriage with a sexy love of my life.