Stuff I Need To Accept

Until the day I find her, I'm going to stay a virgin!! Yeah that's right, a virgin! I'm still one and not very happy to be one. I want to get married to the sweetest and hottest girl in the world and just make love and enjoy that intimacy all day which is a pipe dream and never happening. Maybe like once or twice a week would be so fun, but yeah, it would be hard to do that considering how having sex with the same person might get old after awhile. It would get old chasing after millions of girls too and having one every night. So having sex wouldn't really be the answer to living my life. I need something that's everlasting. Everything else in this world is pretty much depressing after awhile. Well, there's one that I really seem to love and still just naturally go after, it's self-improvement. Another is interacting with people and being satisfied how I approached them especially with negative confrontations I had.

Some girls are basically staying hot but they haven't been invested in me, so I shouldn't from that go after trying to increase my sexual stamina. Basically, some girls on the web that you can search for have incredibly attractive bodies that I like and feel so turned on by but the girls aren't my singular wife to have sex with and it's likely not to happen anyway so I'm not in the position to know what I'm doing is going to be productive. I can always make this adventuresome desire whenever to put up great sexual performance when the opportunity arises out of being loved by a great woman after I'm married to her.

Using my head here, me trying to learn something off of porn is pretty much a waste of time. It's useless at this point of time because those performers are trying to entertain that crowd whose into it to make a living. I'm not really that much into it but only been wanting to last sexually going for a long period. It's pretty hard sometimes and other times, it's a cake walk.

Overall, it's all about looking out for proper setups. If one is going to try to jump the gun here and do something prematurely then he is going to experience a loss at one point and have to learn from it. I've been repeating the same mistake over and over without realizing and wanting to be better. It's frustrating and enraging but builds character somewhat at least.

Drawing conclusions, girls are going to stay hot with me and some are going to be way hotter because I just like how they look and want to experience intimacy with them in person. Having a hard time with making connections with her or finding areas that I'm in disagreement with her, I shouldn't from that still be motivated to have sex with someone like her. It's just too crazy!  There's just no point really to continue pushing more forward in any related thought after I see a very hot girl in person or media that I'm sexually attracted to and haven't made any personal connection by just the way things are.

There's not enough information for me to know if increasing my sexually pleasing ability is going to do me some good. I'm not in position to know that yet. I'm going to have to throw it out with my current setup when I'm reminded of how much I want to be this type of lover. So when a hot girl shows her stuff in a movie or I get dragged like a loser to some sex party because I'm not engaging anybody there, I'm just going to have throw out my feelings of wanting to get it on because with my position, I have nobody. I'm going to have to entrust Jesus while that moment of time is uncomfortable. The great thing about it though is that those emotional moments pass by and I'm glad to be in the Lord. Whether I continually find myself in that position to seek to improve my sexual abilities before losing my virginity in like one second, I'm going to have to throw it out and continue on with my other plans. It sucks and a pain but it's the way God has intended for me. It's not so bad after all because it does die down for me internally but it's so fun to stay engaged in other stuff that I enjoy. I need to make it happen now!