Life is not really as it is if people start giving you a hard time and you backfire on them with something nonviolent. That's really hard to deal with. There are sometimes breaks in a relationship that occur no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Suffering can still take place in this area. It's all about learning to let go through a forgiving attitude and be willing to accept the truth through the ears of others first before implanting them with your own opinions.

I've had situations where I would get really short-fused with others and filled with adrenaline because I seriously did no harm to them. I would then avoid them for long periods of time.

Sometimes in life, you just need to learn to let go. This is what I want to do. I want to just move on with my life now. I don't need to justify anything I have done. I just want to be still this time around.

Hard hidden lesson

This is something that I have picked up now. It's okay if people think you are having a hard time, and they want to help you by giving you advice. I say try to accommodate them by following their advice as close as possible. Maybe your image will be affected in a bad manner to some people. I still do not think it hurts to really listen to people. I think it just means dying to yourself. It deals with the length of time that they ask of you. It's really hard to be patient if you want to things your way. I guess in life, sometimes things are not supposed to go your way. I now see that I need to live my life submitting to people who really want to help and trusting them and be ready to forgive them all at the same time. As long as you are submitting to them in all respect, I think there's something called negotiation. I don't think I will have the need to mess up in this area anymore with people in my life. Just speak up boy and be ready to commit to others' needs and wishes. I'm ready to do this without getting any professional help.

5 year old trumpet player

It's really amazing how he plays it. It like comes across as so natural for him. I've played the trumpet all my life, and my high school band teacher was like complaining that I would pinch on the horn so much. He switched me over to a low brass instrument, the euphonium. The horn was like a nightmare for me. It gave me low marks on my college days.

http://www.trumpetherald.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=84937

Pretty Bored

I write so much and it pretty much is a waste of time for others to look at. I don't really mind now that I stay away from some of that naughty stuff that offends a lot of people on the internet. I'm starting to make an important connection now about some people. They sometimes don't want to get along with you because they want to be selfish. They try to hide that emotion by explaining things to you. It's very important to cover your ears up with their comments that would make you really angry with these people.

I'm starting to understand this area now and that it's not really me that is the problem. It's really them who has problems. I need to still be careful with the things I say and do now. The main point is pretty much getting cleared up, and I'm now understanding enough with happiness in the Lord. I can't believe I am finally understanding this value. It's easy to state you have no problem moving on with people who are being selfish and unreasonable. If you can really prove it, then I think it's really good on your part and very bad for them.

Random boy/girl stuff

Another comment. I hope I'm not causing any people to feel aggravated with me talking about God all the time. I know how I feel that way with others sometimes and how I need to put a lid on it because my body just wants to perceive things that way.

I've always been good at coming on top when someone does something really bad to me. It's something innate and a part of me. I just hope it does not create in me something that wants to go nuts like awhile go.

Anyway, I sort of have it figured out but have to find it tested. In Jesus, we are forgiven for our sins. Through trusting him, he gives us strength to overcome any sinful obstacles. In him, we find peace and a renewed joyful heart. Jesus promised all of mankind that any man who would believe onto him would find everlasting life. (John 3:16)

I sort of stumbled on something practical, possibly for people who been struggling with pornography. This may sound sick. I apologize. I feel that we should not be in a pursuit of porn, it's the feeling or that desire of arousal which is part of guys no matter how strong it is through our biological build-up that gives us fuel to find the right mate. I sort of been turned off by someone I've been sexually attracted to, and man it really bites another dust. It's the feeling of pursuit that guys should get accustomed to and normal with. Remember, not everyone is made for you. I think it's looking for common grounds and attaching yourself with someone who does not mind the attention you give her. It is also being patient and taking it easy with the person.

It's extremely hard to sometimes just have the mentality of being friends with certain girls...They seem to make it hard when you want to just hang out and talk about whatever and just chill. It must deal with having a good character and nice sense of humor. I think most girls dig that type of sweet sensible individual. It does not really matter how bad you look as long as you have viable characteristics. For me, I'm really really short. I think I have a nice body for my size, but still I hate the idea of being short. I guess if you have to choose something that you want to lack in, might as well be height. I hope to find out about short and well-known CEOs with taller and attractive wives soon. (*chuckles, sorry) Frost said something like "What lacks in height makes up for what is in depth." Stole it from a friend's AIM profile. Another saying from my mom is, "A more chilli red pepper is shorter than a normal one." Another cheesy analogy, but quite interesting as it runs through a culture.

I see myself always as an imperfect individual because I want to stay living in the truth. Realizing this makes it possible to build a firmer relationship with anyone. A friend of mine wants to get a little foolish and say that he is perfect in some area like courting millions of girls. I'm of course, exaggerating just for laughs; I sort of have fun pointing out his weaknesses in whatever he says. I guess that's how a boy sometimes grows up into a man!

Just writing really fast

I can now see how the normal reaction for my statements are to laugh basically. It really has pretty significant meaning in that it might lighten up the mood in a stressful environment. It all depends on how successful you are. Most of the time, I guess being quiet could mean that you are not having any trouble at all. With how people start caring about you, I think that just comes from not trying to mess around and wanting to make sense and doing something in your power.

Many of us are like not patient enough to get results. Some of us try to think that it's impossible after some certain length of time has passed on. God is not like this. Because of His perfect nature, He understands through our strengths and weaknesses that in time we will change. It's only God who can change a man or woman inside out. We are just a passing vessel; however, we all have a gift that gives us joy in the Lord.

This is pretty cool

I think I like to write a lot when I'm in some destructive mood. I try to cover it up basically through writing. Communicating is wonderful, and I don't really care to do something illegal like a cop might try to blame me for in an ignorant way.

Okay, I feel good right now after just writing it. I write like this to a lot of people who wrong me. They don't respond to me the way I expect, but it makes me laugh every time I write or going back to think about it. Eventually, the agitation goes away after writing about seriously nothing bad and comes to a normal sense of accepting them. Even if they want to lock me up, I will still write and now that I have patience and a normal head, I'm pretty gung ho about making them change into better people.

There are a few things I want to occupy myself with: 1) Study 2) Rest 3) Exercise 4) Be with a friend. In my spare time, I want to read a lot. I struggle with spiritual things a lot too, and I'm glad that I'm coming around even though it's vexing to hear people want you to be some way that you don't want to be. My desirable roots are forming.

Trying to let go of the flesh

I know all my struggles, and how I don't wish to publicize them or speak about it in private that often. There's a saying that ignorance is sometimes bliss. It's funny how by being right in your motives and actions, people can react in an insecure manner when you confront them initially. There are many painful ways to go about this, but I'm trying to get over it fast right now.

I now know my aspirations, what bugs me a lot, and how I should cope with it. It's really crazy because I have all these wonderful ideas for myself to self-motivate myself, but then I forget it the next day with my crazy emotions taking over. I sometimes lose it with this self-hedonism approach to life. It's wrong to live in this deceitfulness, but so many do to this day. It's a struggle, and I know I have it underneath me to push to the finish, but I still fail all the time to this day. I hope that by writing about it, I'll be able to take comfort in the hands of the Lord when I do face it and not forget a confession that I made like two weeks ago. I hope that I will be able to face my selfish attitude and the pain that goes along with it. To pursue in a loving way that is the right and best way even though others may see it as wrong. I hope that this connection would be linked up to me. I hope that it would change the majority and their views about me.

I'm wrong to this day somewhere, and there's no way of making it right. Ending the act of doing something and changing it to nothing could sometimes be defensive, but it could be worthless in the end. There's a dilemma to try and to change and to resist and to pursue. It's like facing myself, close to being my worst enemy. The devil Satan is our worst enemy, but let's not forget how we could bring others down and that doing something is sometimes required even though it's super messy and things go spiraling downwards. Something has to be learned from it. History should never repeat itself. Guys like me keep forgetting. Maybe there is a hard lesson to learn while pursuing after something you prize like a beautiful woman who has a heart for you, but everybody keeps you from getting to her. Maybe you want to say a lot of mean things in a nice way and laugh about it in secret and while the other person gets so mad at you. I think it's best not to care so much about unproductive things that want to haunt you from the past.

It's to look to Jesus' true intentions, so that means if you are uncomfortable about his teaching you should really research and take time to meditate on it. Not just give up or make unnecessary assumptions and not to get so mad about people disagreeing with you. He sacrificed his life and reminded us of this quote, "A best friend will lay down his life for you. " He stated to God that they know not what they are doing and to forgive them. He then stated, "It is finished" and died with a broken heart.

Here we go again

I really need to encourage myself to write more often. In a way, my mind is working so fast that some of the things I could be jotting down may amaze me in the future. In some days, it may just feel like fluff. I think we all have our good and bad days. It's just the extremes that some of us need to forget about or try to rely on faith with having good counsel. I once read this article about an atheist who was complaining that his AA meetings emphasized having faith in God to change him. It felt like he was trying to state that the idea was ludicrous and really not doing much for his addiction problem. We're all not perfect but it does not mean the norm can't be challenged by anyone who is devastatingly overwhelmed by a system.

I also work up a flair a lot when I'm in disagreement with people. I've been trying to write more in these moments because I know that I don't really say crazy things. If I can write things that sends a guilty conscience wringing down someone's throat without having stated anything bad about them , then why really give it up. It's a talent that I must possess or in some weird way that needs to be explored. If I was super sad, I probably would not be writing about my perils with the offensive person. It does not do well to communicate; everybody around me communicates like they are on a hot plate sometimes. It's just important for me to not to lose it in the end and then get super sad about it and then get so hurt that I withdraw from society and then try resolving things without any help with professionals or anybody. Man, that type of lifestyle is something I don't want to get into again. My emotions are not too overboard as it used to be. Thank goodness with age and dealing with enraging issues in attempting positive acts. In greater news, thank Jesus for committing the greatest act for all of man's sins. The perfect man who was blameless and did not fall to the temptations of the flesh and the devil. He sacrificed himself that whoever would look upon him in faith, the person would be granted everlasting life. The gospel is so wonderful and overfilling. It is a message of love, hope, and faith wherever your life is at.

I myself am waking up looking in the mirror. I am like man, I wish I was taller and had better looks with a smile now. I don't seem to be bothered by my outside appearance anymore that much. I think exercising more would be great for my health and give me considerable benefits in mobility and lifting power. It feels like a lot of my average friends wish they were a little taller too. Even though I'm really short, my friends try to say that I don't look that proportionately short. I even heard a tall professor state that he felt a lot of anxiety about standing out in the crowd. A super gentleman that he is- he married his best friend and has no trouble announcing how great his sexual needs are being met.

Ending the Act of Irritating Others

I seriously imagine myself having the ability to frustrate others unintentionally. With my age getting very close to thirty, I believe that there are a lot of expectations that I have been imposed with by people who do not seem to handle life very well. I see that they have tears coming out of their eyes, which probably means there is a guilt trip that they do not want to come out of.

They don't want to be exposed about something. It drives me a little irritated and the more I think about it, the more I come up with solutions to end this matter that I don't want to deepen. I know what I need to do. It's about having a drive of confidence that swoops others and straightens them up. I have discernment that sees the weird in others sometimes instead of feeling like I need to run away.

Life Is Seriously Painful

It is okay. Life is meant to be hard! There are some things we should just forget about it. Until that day comes, things will be very painful. People say I've had a very good life. I'm so ashamed of myself. It's time to move on. I am seriously okay with that.

This is what I plan to do to get back into a club that kicked me out for writing too many bad e-mails to them. They have also called a crooked cop, and he is very feisty. I wonder if I could get him to cooperate with me. It would be an interesting marvel. I project this whole thing of getting back is going to take about a year.

I'm just simply going to keep coming, park in a convenient location, and run to my car if a cop tells me to leave. I will do this every week, until I can catch my breath to speak to one of those cops. I will also be wearing a white shirt and black shorts. I don't think it will be long for everyone to catch that I should be in.

Dumb Group Issue

Okay, a Bible verse states "Honesty is like a kiss on the lips" and it also states something like a friend who wounds you is more greater than an enemy who tries to suppress you with sweet words. I believe this opens up an interesting area of how angered people can be hypocritical if they try to reach out to you. Just having knowledge of the Word alone sometimes is enough to help you out in exercising good principles.

What I'm getting at is that sometimes you need to be honest by jabbing at your love one's actions and justifying how he is wrong and then leading him to how you want him to behave. It takes a lot of humility to accept defeat. I guess in my end, a restraining order pretty much means I did something terrible and should accept that I did something very bad. The restraining order is something I see that people could easily overreact over. It's a strange occurrence sometimes to deal with. It's not breaking the law, if it gets on you. Just give it some time to allow the other person to calm down and give the person space.

I'm going through an issue where girls are acting pretty crazy with me. They can't explain their personal reason for wanting space with me. I keep asking, and it could be frustrating but I'm not going to let it run my life down. I'm not going to mind any restraining order with them anymore. I just don't care about having to stalk them or anything anymore, if that's what they feel I'm doing. I'll just keep away and not care about their over-reactant intonation about their side of the story.

Going to Court With Mockers

Today, on Christina's Court I saw how two ladies had a dispute over a vallet car incident. It appeared that the defendant was going to win but she ended up losing. This brings me a little scare. I have naturally been scared of over-reacting people because they sort of give me the Buh G. B's. As the aftermath of these people's actions, I guess those kind of things happen where you feel like you would not mind the comfort of a therapist and then you imagine the therapist feeling like she's wasting time with you. Seriously, how often do you invest your faculty into thinking that you have the right to get involved but you are truly not going to and then nobody can really pick up on this incident. Then, by being so quiet these few individuals who scare you start talking behind people's backs with you around their little circle. Boy, I have tried so hard to avoid wraithful thinking on their part with the hands of God.

I think it had to do with me being extremely quiet in nature and having a penchant for being around whiners who are little in their ways and holding things in contempt. They all seemed to give off this similar nonchalant voice of being fully vexed about something and then they pause and put some breaks in between these repeated words. Okay, and then they start incanting the words "Don't let this out of this circle." These type of events used to horrify me and made me surly but slowly stay out of these people's paths. I then felt super lonely about something and it's so weird that I should not try to position myself in a defensive stance anymore. If people take me to court, I'm all theirs to slaughter. I just hope I didn't have enough involvement with them in the first place, and I hope my survival mode is in high gear and in ethical grounds. I say nothing about my current comfort zone.

Interesting Spin-off

I write with some idea in mind. I think that if you truly like to do something, such as writing scripts, making songs, or designing software then you should see if you could take a project and finish it through and then, maybe you can research on what people like and if they also pertain to your interests you could pretty much stick with it and make a living off of it while feeling really cool about yourself.

That being said, I think it's really cool to think about what Jesus did for us. Jesus died on the cross practically two thousand years ago. As time has been progressing, I truly want to get to know him more. My problems are made into little pieces because of what Jesus has ultimately done for me. Sure, I'm a human being who has a selfish heart and who wants to destroy and oppress and take vengeance on the little things that people do to be evil! Presuming that it's sort of wrong, I should try to not be overreacting. The consistency rate occurs only because there is a discerning mention of doing something positive for myself that could prolong a painful feeling. To get out of this phase, I am pretty much going to have to pick it up and review my limits and privileges.

The fun part about this whole matter is that I get to mention what went wrong in a truthful manner and be laughing inside the whole time. I also get to say things in a nice and direct way that would mean that things need to be done to project things into a better situation. In other words, I need to try my hands in leading and not overreacting to negative responses.

For all the wrong things that's been done to me for trying to be under the table and not so noticeable and not wanting to follow the advice of selfish and misguided people, I am fine with all the mistreating that they have given me. I have this test which is to lead them and not overreact to it with just my emotions.

Conflict can be exciting

In circumstances that have a lot of heat, people can sometimes resort to selfish tactics to get what they want. By placing their own standards on some level of preference, it creates a bad yoke that can be tossed out eventually. What I mean by this is that sometimes people have reasons for taking action that don't really make any sense to an average person. In other words, you can sometimes hear people complaining about others behind their backs because they are constantly overreacting due to a lot of stress. This happened to bother me at one point because I thought it was being powerful when you talk bad about someone.

I'm not really worried about these little things anymore because I have had interest in neutralizing these situations. People sometimes are stubborn about changing, but appealing to them about something by placing God in the picture can be really edifying and encouraging. It takes a lot of discernment and willingness to understand my personal levels of aggression. I guess it can build up when you try to negotiate with people who think they are competent and then they end up overreacting to the circumstance.

I really see things a little better now. I don't really have to worry so much about it anymore. No matter what people who have done wrong want to advice me in, I sort of need to lead them in a better direction to ensure something good. Even if it's impossible, the personal effort is worth noting without getting personally hurt and avoiding indecent approaches.

It's okay to open up.

Today, I write with a bittersweet smile on my mind. I think sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed about inexplicable things, but I feel like I can handle it without too much of problems. I really enjoy a lot of things that happen to my life and can also not be so mad about things, if the situation is not working out. I usually thrive when I'm in a rut by leading people. I've been trying to be careful about how I need to open up. I've also been trying to not give myself too much credit in general.

I guess people telling you that there's a fundamental concern does not always create enough light. With people making these truly bad calls with me, it pretty much details a lot about their insecurity and with me changing the situation around it's supposed to be good. I finally see the way I was supposed to feel. To feel a little hurt about something, it's not always good to maximize that feeling. I think it's getting closer to Presto for me!

There is power in knowledge. Being fully honest with others and seeking to be in genuinely in love about Jesus, maybe there's something normal about it.

Writing about human nature

I realize the amount of hard work some people who get to the top do. It's really inspiring to figure how much pain that they might have passed through. To have the longing patience with the right attitude, it just helps to store up a lot of good treasures. Some things are probably not worth mentioning in light of some extremist behaviors.

I've been using writing as a tool to try to open up in an unoffensive way. To have people react to me as like they were flipping the handle, it makes me feel a little sheepish. I think it's a natural reaction that happens to people who don't feel hurt with what they are doing. To finally open up the heart and look beyond the fleshly condition, it's bringing me a lot more comfort that there's more to life than just people placing their unjustified worries with me. I think this just means to me that I need to lead in a heart-felt manner, have a lot of patience, and not be so worried or dreadful about the future with creating some misses. Rebounding is such an awesome thing when it occurs. To do it while maintaining good composure and being a normal person and finally getting everyone to come to terms with you, it pretty much opens up doors.

It's time to make it work

Not everyone can succeed in life or be really open with you. I think that's why you could sure use a little help from time to time with others who genuinely care for you. With people trying to direct you while them feeling repressed frustration, it gets sometimes a little hard to understand what they are complaining about with you.

I've been pretty stuck, and I just want to get out of it now. The best things that I value in this world can only persist by continually living in a continuance of struggles. I don't think I really need to go at it alone now. To be in a new direction and living with a little bit of pressure, it's important to get out of problems with a good attitude. It's important to not to blow up and be so angry about life, as I am prone to being. I guess others can relate to my situation. I'm pretty much just an individual who wants to transpire to lead in a good direction.

That Humble Feeling

This post is just about me releasing all my worries onto this small text box. I've always thought that having a certain emotion that contained a little overwhelming feeling would help me to get through the toughest obstacles. I think sometimes people fail to realize what they are doing wrong and become totally empowered into blaming someone else for their own misery. It could be even with them trying to stand up for someone. What I think occurs is that they feel egotistical and happy about what they are trying to impose on someone else.

It seems to be like their feelings need to be clarified in a loving direction by someone who could lead them. In the context of religion and legalism, I don't find them to be the solution to life. It's more of a distraction, rather than the answer to living out life. What you were born with and accepting some sort of misnomer does not always seem to hit the right places when faced with opposition.

I personally been wanting to show love to others, despite all the annoyances with their unreasonable impositions. I seem to be getting a lot of arguments and full-content breaths from basically people I come across. Just asking has brought me some confusion and triumphs. Perhaps, God knows that I'm listening to everyone's advice and that I have to still rely on God for all comfort when I cannot find it through people. I don't need to focus on theories; I practically want life. Right now, it's really important to get out of a jam in a likable standard.

This is just another post

I finally feel like I'm writing to an open space. I have my own personal psychology. I feel so comfortable just writing where everyone has the liberty to see it, if they choose. Maybe, it's bad for me to always go around and advertise that I have a blog. It must have been really horrible for me to test my writing. I basically went through a funk when I sent out a lot of e-mails. I was trying to get a clearer grasp of reality. Things were bothering me, but I was not intending on hurting anyone because of it. I feel that being direct with a purpose, especially long paragraphs that transcend several pages should be sufficient reason for me to vent whatever is needed to that person.

To do it in a literary manner with perfect grammar, nice speech, and average discernment pretty much encompasses my premature style of making myself a struggling writer. I think having nothing to write about it, but the pastime has brought me a lot more bizarre events with overly sensitive people. They have formed like a mob and pretty much ousted me from their party. If I ever show up again, they will pretty much notify the high officials and I get busted with a restraining order. Ouch, those things are really touchy and take a long time to heal from for the other guy who put it on you. For me, I'm just trying to neutralize the situation. Not that easy when the other guy is explaining his situation and you want to sympathize but something inside of you wants to take over and just literally drill him for being so wrong.

Life continues in the direction of the opposite or the positive, I suppose there's nothing good to expect out of everyone sometimes. To be accepting of it is pretty much my ultimate challenge.

I pretty much just want to get a job where I can make my own schedule, not really intrude on other people's lives, and be pretty lucrative in it. I also would like to repent from personal endeavors that are going to harm me on the long run, if another close person I get attached to finds out.

I just need to let life run its course, while listening avidly to what everyone wants me to do. I'm pretty lost with that direction right now, in how everyone says I should be doing something a particular way because they do not understand how I am feeling. I guess I'm a pretty mellow person, and I just need to open up better to give others room to compromise with me. This situation is something that is going to go on for a long time. The more ruts I go through, the less I want to commit suicide so I think I'm not going nuts because I'm just feeling more empowered.

I also want to work out. I want to get everyone back on my Facebook again. I also want to get taller, even though the dream has been fading away. I don't want to be shy anymore and face my problems head on without running away after I try to initiate a negotiation process. I don't want to be worried about getting hurt and then start lambasting by shouting and yelling at the person and then end up feeling like I need the person in my life. I just want to be really cool with everyone in this world. If the person is hard to get along with, then I have no problem negotiating a basic friendship with them. Disagreeing somewhere does not mean you can't live peacably with everyone.

Feeling is there, just need to persist

The reason why I write this passage today is to just self-motivate myself. I've finally come to terms with how I write. The mistakes that I've made are not entirely that bad, and I think the situation unfolds itself by sometimes allowing your instincts to take over. This is sometimes an even more huger mistake to rely on ourselves instead of a greater source.

I know it feels like a total contradiction with having to lower ourselves and totally consider others. I think the major part of life is to basically just be yourself, a unique creature who originated in some time ago in a certain sphere of space and time.

I am totally comfortable now with writing about whatever it is with others around me. If someone feels uncomfortable, I believe that I want to pursue after that person gently to understand what is bothering them. Letting go is a hard thing to do. The bothersome feeling may always be there, but look on the bright side. Life moves on, and we need to be alive so we can experience more comfortable things.

I guess it's about expecting what you are feeling as you pursue after some discomforts. To take effort in understanding it and being calm and relaxed and not so angry about it is something that could make God proud if you pass the test.

There are simple measures of tests that a person could do. Simply set up something that gives mechanics about failing or succeeding. Live in commitment to others and don't worry about it if you fail. There's always a brighter future to look forward to. Confess your mistakes, repent from that nature, and then move on knowing that there's something good out there waiting for you. If you don't know what it is, there's a loving savior who wants to release you of all your misery and walk of shame. He brings you to life and brings truth that holds peace that cannot be explained without the person experiencing it through faith.

Dealing with Angry People You Love

This is a very controversial topic. I believe that God has given me free space to live at liberty to test certain options, no matter how others may think I'm crazy. It's only hopefully going to be that way momentarily. I believe it requires a lot of mind power and will to establish peace again with those you truly love, no matter how much they bother you at times.

The Bible says "Do not associate with a man given to anger." Proverbs 22:24 I think this means that no matter what people against you say to badger you, you just have to take it without talking back. Basically, for me it just means letting them know you don't agree with them by doing the cold shoulders to them whenever they bring up anything against you. Everything else should be a normal conversation. Just basically, don't argue with these people who are against you. Do not even remotely say a hint about what the subject in question is about. Say a few words to calmly express yourself and then let them rip you apart because if they do it forever then you'll know that someone could be just wasting his time with you. Seriously, do not fall to their level and start planning revenge. Let the silence treatment do the trick. When they ask a question, you don't need to answer even if you feel bad or inclined with someone clearly in opposition to you. Example, police man siding with a guest of the home calling on another former guest who annoys the heck out of him. Annoyances can end just by applying yourself on the giving end as mentioned on the last paragraph.

Let time heal itself and be on a positive-side of mind. It's about gentle persistence that will keep you from feeling bad about your etiquette. No matter where you go, silence is sometimes golden when dealing with arguments. No matter how much it hurts, just listen, while not having to agree with them, and go on your way. When people over-react and do bad stuff to you, just apologize to them and let them know you will keep coming back to sort it out. Work on other things to keep your mind off of this, as it could turn into an endless obsession. Let go of feelings of anger and bitterness and fear of being rejected or conceiving threats.

When it's about going to be the giving end, you need to approach them and initially read any sign of feeling discomfort. If this happens, you just supposedly walk away from them. Come back and follow up with them in a loving manner. Say only one neutral sentence that explains your position. When you ask questions and these people stop answering them, then I think it's an indicator that they are willing to side with you. Just don't persist with the same questions and help them to recovery and give them gentle support. Timing is your best friend when dealing with problems with people. Time is always on your side as long as your heart is filled with the right intent. Also remember that God is longing to open His heart for you to use with others who can be bothersome to you.

This blogger's Simple Rules of Living

1. Don't let temptation make you fall into frustration. Easier said than done. It's a total tuffy when you want to cringe because the person is acting like an imbecile, and you feel totally victimized by him.

2. Stay confident, bold, courageous, and diligent.

3. Listen to your mom. I still have a very highly loving mother and very sorry for those who have lost theirs through them passing away.

4. Lead others in a loving way that is suitable. This is so tough because our preferences are made into impressionable statements sometimes, based on the person's needs. Example, I grab a fork with my left hand. You insist I use my right hand. I've been getting a lot of this lately from people. I think it's from me trying to inspire others by being stupid and writing to them with e-mails that try to lambaste their efforts with helping me because I can't see eye to eye with them. Also, I finally can prove it that they were not good at helping me. Because of this, I have some major problems that are over the hill and causing me to go from a cowboy on a rodeo to a stinking infant on a giant's pinky toe. "Fee-fie-foe-fum, what and where is that gnarly smell coming from? "

I love being human

This is something that I sort of feel. If something does not go well what you write, it's probably best to just deal with it in person. For allowing others to block you from talking to the person, it's only creating more deeper anger with those people who block you. I'm sort of laughing as I write this because it's sort of true. It is super annoying for your friends to like turn against you with a lot of bad reasons and then they start trashing you with even more bad reasons.

They add even more insult by saying that I should get some help. I don't need help. I think they do because they mentioned it first to me. I've never really been thinking like that. I think the best thing to do is to be open to research and to ask questions for what might work best for you in this situation of conflict. I personally like to pursue and initiate peace. I have to really careful to not go off tangent with hurting the person with bad insults, no matter how funny it is to me. I don't want to hurt girls in general because I'd rather be looked up to as a gentleman then go on feeling so much resentment about it. Man, no matter how annoying it is. Just got to suck it up and go in for what you want. Take in a lot of time to research and don't step out of boundary when the opportunity arises.

I'm such a weak writer

hey I think with me writing a lot and touching upon things. I'm finding logical counters and just letting it rip. If this causes you to feel bad, then I don't think you were really supposed to help in the first place. I'm perfectly fine. I know that my system is cleaning itself out through writing about good intentions. I cherish a lot of things more than you can imagine, and God is by my side supporting my every action and move. If my upbringing causes me to laugh now with all the silly efforts to try to help me because I truly like to honor people in friendships and acknowledge them despite whatever chaotic things they do to me, then I think this whole e-mailing thing can disperse.

It's time for me to take some serious action and to sort of disregard what a few guys are trying to do me. I'm afraid that I'm going to need to backtrack and add a little good flavor to it out of intentions of loving people because that's how I've raised myself. This whole facebook thing is a wonderful way of me gauging on people and how we need to make sort of a treaty again. The more collisions that it occurs the more I'm made to deny the trouble of having pride with myself. All of these statements and words find its meaning and these guys were a little off course. I don't think we are on the right page and this is not about me stating that I'm trying to be selfish. I wish they could all just see that they are totally lacking something. It's patience.

Bible verse

2 Chronicles 17:9-10 states "They took copies of the Book of the Law of the Lord and traveled around through all the towns of Judah, teaching the people. Then the fear of the Lord fell over all the surrounding kingdoms so that none of them declared war on Jehoshaphat." Jehoshaphat became the king over Judah after his father passed away after ruling for forty one years. (2 Chron. 16:13) I'm totally amazed by how good kings who feared the Lord brought amazing stability, peace, and inspiration to the people. The Bible talks about how at least some of the kings who did evil in the sight of the Lord brought upon destruction to the land because they were not really doing their job in leading the people to fear God.

Based on 2 Chron 17, it's really important to me in noticing how sometimes enemies are moved to goodness because the people are encouraged under the teaching of the Word. Jehoshaphat sent out some of the best teachers known in his land at that time and it's wonderful how the message spread out to other nations because the people could have been showing good stewardship and telling good testimonies about God.

A thing I surely am sort of pondering about right now, is that sometimes someone may not want to be fully your peaceful ally. It's been really challenging for me in how I could deal with it because of my upbringing of choosing people to be my friends. To this point in time, I need to open myself more to the Lord's attention with me. I think for starter's, it should be about worshipping the Lord wholeheartedly by being ministered upon by others and truly having a heart that's received joy from the Lord through knowing that Jesus has come into your life and set you free to become a new person.

My writing has had some up and down period. I sometimes don't even know what I'm writing. So this whole blog is just about expressing myself. It's so cool to write on a public domain somewhere. Even if I don't get noticed, it's like I don't really mind anymore. I still have this pressure to write really well in a good sense. I've had a countless number of times where I told myself that my writing is very bad. I'm just starting so random again and taking not enough time to edit it and try to make sense. If I do it so badly, then it probably entails to others that I need some help.

I don't really mind anymore what trips people have had with what I've written to them. Instead of resorting to making fun of people on this blog, I personally am going to still stick with my manners. I just love the sense of powerful words flowing from my heart. This yearning desire that never quenches. That causes a few to ponder what I totally want in life. It's a passion that never dies of thirst.

Pretty much, I need to stop on some things that are marked with total brutality in my life. I'm starting to relive with better focus and wisdom. This area of comfort was something that came by free will and absolute inspiration from the Holy Spirit. I keep missing the mark, and I don't want to leave it to some other time to let the Lord reveal to me what He has called me to do.

Just, Any Thought

Problems occur all the time in life or for whatsoever reason. It is in these instances that we sometimes find ourselves trapped. It's a little awkward when your attempts to console is not quite with the best result. For me to not be willing to receive awkward feedback sometimes, I just have to put my faith in Jesus forward and go in for it! It says a lot to be able to think of all the influences that were ever placed on you and to willingly choose the right steps for yourself. A lot of free will is involved with people telling you what's bothering them and how you should change. I don't think the frequency of its nature is rather relevant to what needs to be done. Examining the whole structure and asking questions to avoid any common assumptions that might not be related is actually a pretty humble process to me. It takes a lot of time to analyze someone's thought, I guess I sometimes don't want to take time to think like that to give heart in a happy direction. I believe that I probably will need to if I perceive the person as someone who is not being very good about it.

Living in Motion

Today, I feel that life will keep on moving forward and that there is no reason to feel ashamed of being part of life. With these incidences of people trying to be clever with you and change you into some person you are uncomfortable about, I sometimes really need to speak up when that happens. It's wonderful to keep a smile on your face and to reflect how life is sometimes meant to be naturally filled with some discomforts. To have this sense of being wronged and trapped, it really can give off a person's level of maturity.

I think I'm finally in a mental state of awareness with no more confusion and emotional perturbations. I mean my eyes or body will still feel agitated or burned up at times, but all of that passes away through taking care of the body. I don't think I really need to blame anyone for anything bad happening to me. At times, I really feel tempted to boil up and then I tell myself that I am not going to communicate anything bad with them and just let it rip. To place myself in some of these awkward situations, I sometimes feel some pressure but I think it's good to self-manage a range of emotions and not get so caught up all the time.

My Postive Spirtiual Reflection

There are about so many things we could do to keep ourselves excited. When a person feels down and out, I realize that there are genuine people out there who can truly care for you. It is not just one person soaking in all the love and attention. It pretty much requires both sides to have this great model of unconditional love for each other. If this falls into place and with Jesus having conquered our sins and living in true repentance under his spirit, we find ourselves growing in fruitful fellowships.

It is highly difficult to sometimes gauge what is right and wrong. Some of us may feel this discomfort zone that causes a lot of calamity. I think individuals do influence us, and it would be a great thing to be a wonderful influence to others. The Bible states that God called all believers to repentance and to fellowship under a roof at a assembly, such as a home fellowship and a church.

I myself am definitely not perfect at everything and God says that it's through the blood of Jesus that we have been cleansed of all our unrighteous conduct. Furthermore, God blesses us with the Holy Spirit to convict us of our sins. The Lord has showed me a road where I can focus a lot more on self-control and to be reminded of how great God is through others communicating what the Lord has done for them. No matter how little or too wide, God is still in control and He truly blesses us with everything that we need in abundance.

Group-related Respectful Values

I believe that a person may sometimes have a difficult time in understanding others' point of views. For example, I think a major conflict that some people like to feel is that a person fails to respect the other person's rights by doing something they disapprove of. In the circle of friendships, I think we all have our own different tastes and differences. By not wanting to come to terms with some of these things, it surely sometimes leaves room for outbursts or frustrations from a person who is trying to put up with it.

One of the major issues that I feel is that we sometimes may not closely look at how many times the offense happened, the time intervals that it occurs in, and end up weighing our own preferences over the individual as the de facto standard because we feel the need to change them to what makes us feel happy. It can even be bunched up into an agreement of a small group, and they may see upon it as being totally right! In a way, I think if we are not careful about accepting others' weaknesses and their way of going about it, it can surely cause tension for both sides or be disastrous for one side in the end.

I believe that collisions with other people are bound to happen with the more people we interact with. It is inevitable that conflict may be felt by someone by placing a sensitive insinuation that may feel edgy to her. Depending on the person, he or she may feel a necessity of becoming defensive or just going along with the crowd. I think arguing for the sake of self-defense about something the accused person did not do is a really difficult situation to be dealt with for the poor lad. It would take a lot of thinking, but basically what makes sense for me is to try to continue exercising self-control or living for the Lord. Letting it be known through communication is pretty much a difficult obstacle to overcome.

Timing is a Virtue

I don't think God created us to deprive ourselves of our basic necessities. People can feed you from left and right on how to live, but ultimately our conscious efforts belong to ourselves. Life is definitely a huge deal for mostly everybody. Whether guys on the market shop for food or we see people scrambling to pay off their loans, the world is a small bubble that's indefinitely loved by a spiritual being better than ourselves.

Our current inhibitions whether proudly great or small, sometimes have to be dealt with. Without needing to resort to uncivilized tactics, we can maintain our lives by being committed to loving people regardless of their preferences, background, ethnicity, or sins. This is what God is all about. He places concern on man, and long before Christ rose from the dead, God was still there for us.

I'm currently living in the golden age, and I'm supposedly in the best period of my life. Perhaps, others may not want to fancy in doing some of my physically challenging activities. I know that perseverance with a good clean attitude and repentant heart will help us find the fulfillment we are looking for. Focus needs to be on the right things because investing in these options create a more stronger foundation. Perhaps, confidence and not having resentment while being disappointed with still the greatest efforts of living for Christ creates a happy person! Let's worship in Spirit and absolute truth with the Word of God by our side.

We have an awesome God.

The Lord is super amazing. Many things happen in our lives, and I'm coming to realize that I have complained to God all out of vanity. The Apostle Paul stresses about having a renewed mind and regenerated heart in the New Testament. Philippians 4:8 says "Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." (KJV) I just keep bringing up that verse for some reason. I don't think it is necessarily commenting on being ignorant to sensitive issues. I don't really think that Christians are striving to be dopey people.

Sitting around has its major losses. Just think of how God could use you in this struggling world. A lot of my friends who try to be prideful talk about giving back to the world and how everyone should believe a certain way. Instead of criticizing others, we should move our hearts in the direction of actively loving others. We may be just one person at the end of the day, but God has a bigger and brighter future for believers. We can look forward to the coming of Jesus who will bring forth a glorious and marvelous kingdom. Revelations 21:4 says "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Revelations 7:16 says "They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat."

I know that a lot of people doubt the Bible being the truth. I've heard some tell me that it is a wonderful story passed on for generations- that it's been etched onto the minds of decent people. Living out in truth is sometimes uncomfortable. We are born from a mother and have the right to not let anyone overshadow us into thinking how another should think. We have our minds to make up about this whole Jesus phenomenon. The choice is yours. Romans 10:9 says that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.

Part 2 to last post

The last post seemed a little choppy, but basically what I want to do is "Go up to them and be like hey, and rip a smile about the whole situation." I'm getting pretty down to the wire and writing about stuff that I was uncomfortable about has taught me a lot of perseverance and to be a wonderful example in how I'm supposed to be. I think the sharing part has been a little shaky with interesting responses, but I'm willing to accept their feelings because that's a part of who I am. I like to bring peace instead of leading destruction with notions that they bring and stir up trials.

Communication, the right way!

I'm sort of sensing a great way of communicating is to not minimize a person's feelings. It could appear selfish sometimes to basically try to shut them up, get what you want, and then go out. I think time is a great way of telling where a person is at. I guess in life people may sometimes want to gang up on you and then force you out of there. It could be an annoying experience, especially if you did not intend on anything bad happening. To keep out frustrations for the petitioner's side, I think he or she basically needs to be ready to accept what may come his or her way. A technique that I have yet to try is to maximize their feelings in the plane of the offense, tell them a reason, and then give them time to ponder about it. Like here's an example, a girl goes up to another estranged woman and says "You told me that you made your personal decision already based on being uncomfortable with your personal preferences. You have not yet given your specifics about how I might have violated you. Are you feeling reproached with me asking you about it?"

It's so important to not lose it even if it feels unfair with the majority in opposition. The majority is pretty much hawk-eying you all the way. It takes a little skill but basically keeping yourself under control and asking about how they accept you without downplaying their feelings. I'm currently not trying to reveal my feelings about it at all, but trying to look at things vicariously. The results are turning out to favor me in the role of character. You could also entrust a person to open some doors. If you been mad about your social life so long, by trying this I know that it can help you mature and come to apply some good humor with them. You will also come to terms with yourself and how others will treat you. A weaker method that has some results is to just keep on apologizing, but it feels bad to apologize about how you feel that you are a wonderful person. I would not suggest taking that route of selling out, but keep apologies in mind because someone may end up surprising with astonishing abasement.

Reflecting on Others' Feelings

I am realizing that I have a lot to learn about people. I know that it causes some to be a little testy about my comfort zones sometimes. To be stretching myself far and trying to apply things in a loving manner, I realize that I have so many flaws and that I could lose so much focus for myself. As I am gaining more grounds and becoming more emotionally secure, I need to be careful about being too reckless about others' feelings.

Life in solitude has meant the worst of times for me sometimes. Perhaps, it results from a part of my moral culpability where I try to be the initiator or aggressor sometimes in dealing with situations but end up nowhere. I'm starting to gain a lot of confidence for some reason and feel acceptance for any response, even in the form of expressionless facial appearance, with the other party I end up trying to communicate with. It's just so important to not to lose it, while expressing self-control and unconditional love for her! Sometimes the man needs to suck up the discomforts in life and aim for leading the woman in the greatest direction that's reasonable even if she's not his type.

Renew Thyself

A lot of things sometimes happen to me, and it's like I want to protect my own interests by not conveying them. It has been a little difficult for me to find the right and meaningful path with the best approach and to also feel confident about it. Currently, I am realizing that there is a place for me and it's only going to get stronger as I find it hard to contain within myself! The inspiration coming from how Christ lived is inexplicable to me.

I know that I have several faults in me that I cannot seem to fix. These sins of mine would never have been so apparent if was not for the Lord convicting me of my prideful and erring ways. One of the most difficult worries I have is a person taking advantage of me. It is really something I need to pray about and to allow God to fix. I know I am a work in progress and that in time, as I let Jesus finish the work created in me; I should be the person that I want to be who is pleasing the Lord. Without the Bible, I would not have anything to go by. The Bible is definitely more than a piece of literature to me; it's the word of God. It is simply not about what I feel at the moment when I am reading it- it is about living through acknowledging what Christ truly meant through the Scriptures.

Thanks for being there God

I think being confrontational can sometimes appear controversial. Whether it's emotional or not, a decision needs to be made on how one wants to go about it no matter how disillusioned others may feel about his or her claims. My whole life seems to be centered on some rules that I have adopted in trying to be considerate for others. It's really important for me to keep a clear mind that wants to be accepting of other people's weaknesses. I know that I'm weak but loving people is like one of the greatest attributes a person can have. The way Christ went about it while he walked on Earth is so remarkable that I am inclined to being emphatic to his ways when emotional challenges resurface.

I think it's really important for a person to be a great peacekeeper. I guess calling someone an idiot or trying to push her away because she does not fit your boat may not be the greatest expression of love. When we let our pride get in the way, it sometimes gives us reason to end up disregarding other people's feelings. It's not a really good thing to express in my opinion, like that's the only thing in your life worth contending with. I think we all possess enough heart to have the capacity to receive the Lord into our lives and to allow him to direct our dealings with conflict. Emotions are a very strong medium and to lose oneself to it while being angry could be devastating to one's health.

Fresh Thinking

I think a lot of my perspectives have been about learning to change to the point of understanding where I need to be at right now. Sometimes, it feels like dramatic things happen in my life but I just don't want to let others know about it. To communicate my thoughts and feelings while in the mood for gossip just sounds so childish for me. I realize my own behaviors have limitations now and that I am not that good enough on my own.

Having adjusted emotionally has taken a lot of toll in my life. I do still have different desires that have not been met yet. The personal preferences in my life are about giving it all up for the Lord. I don't really need to feel uncomfortable always and try to run away with developing myself.

Small Excerpt about My Morning with God

Respecting a person sometimes really takes a lot of commitment. With values and schemes that occur in life, I believe that one would sometimes want to escape from life by finding selfish pleasure. It could be personal lusts, idolizing someone, or even found through self-incrimination. I think we sometimes get too carried away with ourselves and some of us may never want to come out of our own bubble.

Today, I briefly read through the passages in the Bible about Jepthah and Samson. These passages feel a little much about God condoning their foolishness because of how He cares for our own weaknesses. I can greatly see through the historical speculation of them both of how God had blessed them a great deal, but would still use it to stir up what others may find troubling. I think I am in a similar situation right now. It's amazing how unwarranting people about what I'm going to do, even if it was subsocial could cause a lot of grief and doubt to a people who really considers you a lot.

Let's keep this real

Life is good, no matter what happens because Jesus will always be there to forgive me for all my mistakes. I am ready to challenge others who challenge me. I have this moral obligation with people's feelings right now. They want to run my life the way they see as fit. Balancing these things with the feelings of others will take some time. I need to keep making mistakes with these small requests that they impose on me. The only way to find myself out is to go down trying and being myself. I believe in high values and standards, but I need to play a little dirty sometimes in a high moral fashion.

Life feels so good

I think the best way for me to be a blessing right now is to carry people's burdens in a loving way and to be very productive in the things I am doing. The reason for my thinking is that I think I'm starting to voice out a lot of my emotions in a way where people can sort of be led into. This is happening through my writings. I can always find excuses if people don't like how I have been soul searching and maybe then, I'll be able enliven something wonderful.

The way that I can be productive and a blessing to others is to read books proficiently and also study. A very important decision to me is to continue in fellowship with Christ, who is found in the traditional Bible. It's also to do things that are ultra-cool right now; such as skydiving, biking long distances, cliff-diving, rock-climbing, working out, raising a million bucks legally and with interesting tactics, etc. I could sure use a couple more inches in height, too; nevertheless, it does not bother older folks. There are so many scary stuff you could try to get taller. I recommend consulting a physician about it, but many of them may be like "Who cares, you are a unique individual with genes that you carried from your parents." Regardless, just ask about the nutrition or medication and how dangerous the exercises could be. I grew a half-an-inch from getting enough sleep and trying some of those heart-pumping exercises. I should keep it up and not feel sorry for no reason because it does not involve anyone, but myself. Can't find the verse for this one, but it says, "If the barn needs painting, paint it."

Dealing With Wall From Friendly Girls

This passage is detailing my little active struggle of not trying to live out my past. I have actually woke up this year to a lot of different experiences. Specifically, I have a wall surrounding me around three intelligent girls. This is so cool in a way because I never thought I could be considered for even rejection in a relationship. I was working so hard at not trying to give myself away at being in a relationship with anyone. I have not asked any of those girls, if they wanted to get committed in some relationship. Pretty weird because my body used to be a little uncomfortable about listening to them.

Now that I have risen at a new level, I feel the need to pump out better results. I am a very straight man by the way. No hustling going on in the last sentences. There's a special girl who I truly admire out there. It's exciting that I have actually some real life conflict to anticipate. Others have even tried to get involved with me just allowing them to solicit me. Going back to the wall surrounded around these women, I feel like having the green light to go talk to them because of everything surrounding my ignorance to them. They sort of failed to clue me in about the conflict they were going through. A straight man who appears to have no experience in this area and changing his outlook in life all at the same time; probability: almost impossible. This is where my genius may resurface.

Gosh, my head was a little messed up.

The Lord has taught me something meaningful lately. It's really to cast all my concerns on Him. Recently, I have been squirming a little about pulling out all my hairs. Life is really something, and God placed us here on this world for a definite reason. It's wonderful that our personalities are all different and some of us just need others around to help us take a break. I guess that's why I really hate it when people start acting a little different around you. You just really want to break the ice and fix something they are not accustomed to you about.

I'm currently learning to adjust at becoming a hard-working and focused student. I think the winning takes place by multi-tasking my emotions and having faith in God that everything will be okay. It's just that sometimes, my soul is just so poked at that I have to go out and do some remedial things. I would really like a balanced and fresh life, but I do not want to leave behind something dealing with people. I am not quite ready to give up on a note of misunderstanding or discomfort with someone. I think a wonderful person is also someone who can create more work for him or her to be proactive and make a positive impact. I should honestly be doing that too. Instead of being so distracted, it's to work hard at dealing with it through the Lord's blessing.

Internal Personalities

It's a pretty well-worthy note of writing to receive comfort from the Lord. I currently am finding that being a guy with so much difficulty of not casting out annoyances is sort of hampering with my life. Everyone has their desires and ideas, and they like to think it's right with absolute certainty. It's just like me. They place it upon me and then annoy me! I think my gig has been to just keep asking questions and then demand answers. I don't want to jump into rash conclusions and then spill up somewhere. That's just my train of thought, I suppose.

God is a great friend to anyone who calls out to Him when circumstances are rock-bottom. Some people ignore the wonderful attributes of getting to know the Lord. I find that my personality has not been really used to staying annoyed with something and then letting go of it. You know, I really need to start pursuing after changes but keeping the Lord in mind. I don't really feel down on myself anymore.

Moving On for Better Days

I think we would all like to view life as having a meaning and purpose. Sometimes, some of us may want to make excuses with being a dummy and accepting it. The situations that God places me in is sometimes really hard to relate in others. In some part of our lives, I think sin takes its toll and may cloud the mind. It's important to stay fresh in the Lord and to repent from all bitterness and resentment. Phil 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." (NASB)

I don't really want to share the things that I've been going through because of conflicts-of-interests. After I deal with the situation, I may have the luxury of laughing off a wonderful story. I really like delightful things that arise from confusion and frustrations. It feels like moving forward.

I will share that I'm out of my house a lot more because I'm pretty stuffed about staying indoors and doing things that I have been accustomed to. 1 Cor 13:11 says, "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." (NASB) It's in my heart to move away from my parents soon and live a really diligent life without having to rely on them for financial support. My mom just wishes me to marry off and have a job that people could look up to. Maybe, this is what my mom would think is best for me. This reminds me about the parable of the talents (Matt 25:14-30, Luke 19:12-28). By being diligent in work, it is natural to master the skill and then be blessed with more tasks for gaining added treasures. This means that I may have the skills in the future to really accomplish a big dream that I have. My dream is to give support for dying nations by doing something to help out- something that is not languish; possibly, lending financial support to virtuous and wonderful volunteers with a great vision I can follow.

I am currently studying to be a high level I.T. worker. The jobs in that field are very incredible and potentially fruitful. It may actually fit my niche of what I need to help maintain a balanced life. Giving my time to serving the Lord is also an area that I wish to grow in. I hope to be the guy who can really handle a lot of things that would normally pester individuals and to deal with them strongly and come away with pleasing God.

Public Apology to the Lord

God has the ability to liberate us under any circumstance that we may feel is hectic on us. The under-driven guilt of all my sins is ever consuming me like a drug. My fallen moments arise from lacking trust in myself at the given moment of not receiving what I desire. The Bible says in Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding." (NASB) It's a very simple concept that requires us to pray consistently to Christ who reigns in heaven. Eph 6:18 says, "With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints," (NASB) and 1 Thes 5:17 says to "pray without ceasing" (NASB). It's difficult in all of us to give trust over to the Lord sometimes. We find that perhaps, life would be better if we proposed improvements on things we knew about. 1 Cor 1:27 says, "But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong" (NASB). We live our lives sometimes for pleasing only ourselves and find that it's a direction that leads away from the Lord.

Being a person with opinions, it's relatively hard to stay logical and if you are my sister, to never stop relying on your feelings. I have come to accept that my hard stubborness is only a defensive mechanism to excuse myself with being selfish. I don't need to add onto the Bible what it's saying, and only need to rely on God's grace. The Bible is a comprehensive manual of how to live and to manage with receiving the provisions of God.

To be of one mind with Christ, it takes commitment and self-discipline. I feel that others may want to impose that Christianity is a religion that labels a certain people and putting on a security blanket with no absolute proof of what they are believing. It worries me a little because Jesus is a real person who died on the cross. The case of how the tomb of Jesus became empty with two Roman soldiers standing watch should be convincing enough to be an intriguing case in history. Philosophical arguments are not needed in the case of the empty tomb. One just needs to put together all the pieces of what really happened in reference to the Jewish culture.

It's time for me to pray and feel like I'm jumping over countless hurdles until I can overcome the limitations with a blessing that I seek. Right now, it's about struggling without sex as a single man. God has called me to save my virginity for the woman he has allowed me to marry in the future. The marriage bed will be pure and a very joyful moment when that time comes. The end of the race will have its fruitful moment. Never too late to repent from a swinger's lifestyle or addiction to porn. It's been very evil of me to heighten my sexual desires for my own merit. I have to accept that I will have down times as a sexual creature. A new dawn is coming, and a new life has started and it's time to thank the Lord for this day! "Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things are passed away; behold, new things have come." (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Random Fictionalized Story of Marc

Once upon a time, a person named Marc told a story while making funny faces. He gradually arose after that from the table he was sitting at and then started making belly aching noises. He was so filled with awe and misery at the same time because he found no acceptance with what he was doing. He then ended up withdrawing himself from the world. All he had with him was loving parents who gave him housing and food, and a very infuriated sister who could not get a load of him at times.

There are moments in Marc's life where Marc feels very depressed and lonely about not having enough friends around to give him support. Marc always wanted acceptance and felt like he had to work hard to receive it. One day Marc just felt like being annoying, according to some news sources and started messaging people with unclear sentences all around those e-mails. Marc just could not get enough of it and so he continued doing it some more. People have asked what the purpose was, but the best explanation has been stated that he loves to just write for the thrill of not knowing what words will be coming back to haunt him.

Marc has a big load of thoughts piling up in his life. In regards to how he could never get by without people, he just has to learn to deal with the annoyances of not knowing some things about people. Marc has recently given up looking at porno, watching television, and playing video games. He would rather do nothing instead of polluting his mind with indecent thoughts right now. Marc is starting to make the decision to repent for the sake of getting to know the Bible better and make more wonderful decisions. All of these annoyances with the self has been pretty much about a relentless attack to the unknown sphere about people. It has brought Marc a lot of confusion and nervousness. Writing a lot of confusing statements has made Marc even more sensitive about what people are actually thinking. He can sometimes state random things in his head and start laughing and then his mom would start scolding him for acting so wierd.

Marc eventually grew up with a nice head and wonderful personality. It is all thanks to the wonderful and loving Savior of this world. This committment to God has produced wonderful results and truthful experiences relating to the heart in all aspects of his life. There is a joy that can't be unfathomable when Marc fellowships with God by reading His Bible. He became very successful, earned a couple million dollars, and married a sweet and beautiful woman. They have raised ten children together and have hired their own children to help around the house. Marc and his wife, Francine can be found in their own daily radio talk show. They seem to really have wonderful chemistry on air and encouraged fans to seek after the Lord.

The problem circulating with Marc right now is that he wishes all who do know the true living Christ to give God a chance. Marc has this burden in his heart to want to serve God for the purposes of being an instrument that helps people get out of being deceived with a selfish world. He wishes to tell all of a wonderful loving Savior who wants to restore good values and heal the void in their lives. Marc has taken on a role to be a volunteer at his local community and also has formed an organization that helps people worldwide with common struggles by providing clear and practical Biblical solutions...

to be continued at a later date!

1 Samuel 4:12 - 1 Samuel 8

Today, I read these passages. I have not had time to read the Bible lately. I have a burden on my shoulders which is to be the very best that I can be when writing. A verse that I liked is 1 Samuel 6:6 which states, "Don't be stubborn and rebellious as Pharaoh and the Egyptians were. They wouldn't let Israel go until God had ravaged them with dreadful plagues." (NLT)

I believe the Holy Spirit to not to be just a coincidence. I think some are still saying that Christianity is a religion or a personal reflection of correcting oneself, rather than a true relationship with God. Because of being human, I think we sometimes get a little lost in life and leave out Christ. Christ came into this world as a human who interacted with real people. Of all the phenomenons out there, I believe this to be a greater marvel than anything else in the whole universe. Jesus made his mark by resurrecting and leaving behind an empty tomb. This case about Jesus when analyzed at a historical point creates a marvelous statement of how God could surely be real in this world.

For me, I need to try to be more patient with God. With all the privileges I have, I think I could live a well-balanced and Biblical centered life. Currently, I am being prayed for and all of a sudden, I'm starting to see where I need to flourish in necessity and desires. I am finding that I can find meaning right now as a pretty satisfied bachelor. I have found that living in God, every desire can be obtained with the right cause. If God takes away a desire, it is only meant for me to allow God to do it under my submission of His will. I will ultimately allow God to edify me through the washing of His word and to eventually take on greater responsibilities in the future. I think people are here to try to help us out, but ultimately the best advice I think I can receive is to solely rely on God's advice. To search it, we need an open and willing heart to love God with all our mind, heart, and soul and to have love for others, as well. We may feel abandoned sometimes, 1 Samuel 7:2 says "...During that time, all Israel mourned because it seemed that the Lord had abandoned them." (NLT) Suffering is sometimes painful, sorrowful, regretful, or even frustrating. I don't think I can be pleasing to everybody, but what I can do is listen to people's petitions with eagerness. At this point in time, I have to stay right in the Lord with the most obvious things about my private life. Yes, I have some sexual struggles but it's not nearly that bad which prevents me from making good friendships with women.

Talking and Writing

Things have been so different for me these days. I am trying with all my might to find the goodness achieved through our Lord and Savior. I see that putting our confidence in Jesus helps us to walk in our worst moments. To be growing in my faith, it has been an incredible challenge. I see myself as incapable of doing really anything, but I believe that God has called me to find harmony with others.

I don't really see everything at first glance. I believe that God does marvelous things to me when a person has something against me. It's amazing how words can really affect a person's emotions. God gave me this ability to work under my own pains to lead people to restore the way things were before. I used to do a lot of apologizing back then. I think that was the key because I did not know what was going on fully. I think through apologizing and placing agenda on my own needs with a person, I have not been able to grow in knowing the person better. I'm trying a more positive approach and finding it is going to take lots of effort to be considerate to the women affected by me. It's so easy to clarify good intentions by sticking with pure writing and talking as the actions. It's amazing how the least evil of things can make people angry. For example, writing with lack of clarity because I want to edify and worship the Lord through words. Brothers and sisters have told me I'm on the right path by communicating my desires with the Lord. I am ready to push ahead to greater things. Mainly the affected people are best to just clarify with the greatest purposes in mind.

Social Writing

I wanted to test my writing skills by seeing how well I can communicate with it. With the lack of people I have worked with, I have come across some problems. The problems associated with me are basically frustrations from not communicating effectively at a good level. The confidence factor in me is still pretty evident with others. I think I have pretty good intentions with writing and therefore, since no one really does this what I'm doing, it must be fairly unique. The people who wrong me are basically dealing with a pretty unique, but entirely normal person. I like the factor of being normal because it causes people to really later think about their mistakes and repent. I feel that people need me to communicate with them at face value.

I will seriously try my best to incorporate talks, but I truly like to hold the best for everyone. It's like the logic is starting to pop out of my writing so evidently. People are able to analyze it and ask questions to get even more richer details. It is so good for me to voice better reasons without trying to come across as a person in need of professional help. I believe that when I write I sometimes feel empowered with what I'm doing and so it gives the reader a reason to feel victimized about something. I need to dig in and ask better questions relating to myself. I think I'm dealing with people who are going through some difficult situations and need to adopt a talking manner of reaching out to them.

Progress In Jesus Makes Perfect

There's this problem with me being so deconstructive with myself. It can annoy a lot of people when they don't understand me. I am trying the best I can to be right with everyone. I can see that there are hidden meanings in the things I'm putting down. It's the way that I think that causes this person to not understand me in any way, shape, or form. I am being revealed the way to a successful journey- it's to communicate.

Things should mainly be about God's glory. There's a purpose behind every Christian's life in what the person is doing. Maybe God is leading to a certain direction or not. The answers will sooner or later be revealed. Let me not become a cheap person, but a person who has quality and ready to socialize and be in agreement with everyone who I feel wronged by.

Gen 42-45

I skipped yesterday's reading again. I must not be refraining a bit from feeling negative on myself. There's no need to skip having fellowship with the Lord, no matter how bad you feel about the situation. Ultimately, the blame would probably be stated as me having initially done something wrong to do the person. After I explain myself and the person sees that it was a bad thing to be mad at, then I think they may feel weird about it. Genesis 45:5 says, "Don't be angry with yourselves that you did this to me, for God did it." By being a man who fears God, it allows room for compassion upon those who have trespassed us. Joseph demonstrated this humility by showing love to his brothers, even though he was feeling he had all the right to be mad at them (Gen 42:25).

It's amazing how expressing deep love and aiding a person, despite them knowing they hurt you a lot, it creates a feeling of anger within their own flesh. It's like they did all this wrong to you, and you are not trying to. The principle of showing love after being wronged to a person who deliberated on it, is a timeless classic that forms a relationship with the enemy respecting the lover. I know this because my sister has deliberately hurt me by kicking and screaming so much about how she's unreasonably happy. I have talked to her about it, and when I had the chance to deride my sister, I sometimes chose not to, out of needing to be an adult.

I like how Jacob turned out to be a well-principled man as he mellowed out in the land of Cannan. His objective was to bless his enemy only to appease them for what he felt he was burdened with. His sons caused some turmoil with Jacob with the growing pains, and maybe one turned out to be a serial killer! Overall, Jacob did not always end up bickering about his problems and place pride over himself. His heart was finding ease while fearing the Lord. Gen 43:11 says "So their father, Jacob, finally said to them, 'If it can't be avoided, then at least do this. Fill your bags with the best products of the land. Take them to the man as gifts- balm, honey, spices, myrrh, pistachio nuts, and almonds.'"

Joseph also applied a test on their brothers to remind them what they put him through. By putting them in prison, he was implicitly stating that he suffered. In our walk, we don't always have to be confrontational in our actions through our struggles. I think it's really good to let them know what they did and in a good way. For me right now, it's about communication and not always dwelling in the past frustration. I think bringing it up to talk about it is as mature as one could be. Right now, I'm dealing with a lot of frustrations in insecure people. They seem to have this persona of being someone to rely on and then they assume I went through the motion of trying to write them off in secret. The frustration may be from feeling disrespected from not knowing what I have said to them. This is seriously a sign for me to communicate more with people and let them know what I was up to.

I think it's never over to let God forgive you when you have done someone seriously wrong. You don't have to be mad at yourself and end up punishing yourself. Allow God to walk into your heart and to bring you up in humble confidence. God's son offers to save us from the burning fires of hell. (John 3:16)

Gen 37-Gen 39, 1 Ch 2:3-8

I skipped over some more chapters from not reading yesterday. I need to make it a habit to read the Word daily. I am doing this because I want to be nourished in the Spirit and receive encouragement. I know that I am not that great of a writer and that I see lots of small problems right now. I am so sensitive about them right now, but I don't want to let God stop working in my life and help me to become a better person. The story takes place with Joseph who really becomes the favorite child (Gen 37:3) and a highly blessed man (Gen 39:6).

I can really apply some principles out of these passages right now. What I see is that Joseph remained humble before the Lord's eyes and did not commit treason with the Lord's commands. Psalms 18:30 says, "God's way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to Him for protection." (NLT) Joseph was a talented individual who was envied by others and pretty much had a higher calling. Genesis 39:3 says, "Potiphar noticed this and realized that Lord was with Joseph, giving him success in everything he did." (NLT) His brothers ended up selling Joseph into slavery. And then after having some success as Potiphar's favorite slave, Joseph would wind up in prison. Sometimes, bad things happen to good people for a reason. It's really hard to always understand why situations occur that causes some people to put negligence. I think it could be from them having lack of understanding with goodness.

What I like about Joseph is that he did what he could in all his might to avoid any sexual sins. Joseph was very diligent and possessed great leadership. These traits show me that God blessed Joseph with leadership. I myself find that I am weak and feeble-minded. I do not have great qualities of being a leader. I falter with my own physical appearances. Overall, after the day is gone the light of God's grace, love, and mercy still shines upon my life. 1 Cor 13 explains that pure love does not have jealous motives. Perhaps, my reasonings are so flawed that I cause people to stumble; or maybe, just the way I am causes people to get angered. I think God might have blessed us with certain callings. These callings enable us to desire God fully. I'm not saying that our passions are always the best thing to do. We can certainly try to ignore others, which displays our own selfishness. I believe this is what I'm getting when it deals with relations with others- it's to keep trying, cut out anger, maintain regard and respect, never feel down, in self-control and be reasonable while allowing Jesus in your life.

Gen 32-Gen 35

I skipped some passages over the weekend because I kept myself occupied. I then fell short from being away with the Word. I am starting to realize with the things that I treasure need to be based on God's desires. The story leaves off with Jacob running away from his jealous brother, Esau and living with his uncle Laban. Jacob ends up becoming his uncle's servant and then marries both of the daughters for his dedication. Jacob did possess more love for Rachel rather than Leah, Laban's eldest. I recall how it must have pained Leah with the lack of attention Jacob gave her at times. Rachel and Leah were sort of both competitive with each other in the aspect of bearing children for Jacob.

After becoming a wealthy man with traveling servants and flocks, Jacob left Laban to find his own land to settle in. Jacob faced this suspense of having to face his brother again, as the family traveled across land. It's important to me how Jacob showed a lot of humility. I think humility is an aspect of showing respect for an individual. Jacob also had so much fear of being killed that he was ready to appease his enemy. I think God really leaves His mark on us when we are in devastated moments and willing to do anything to avoid conflict while humbling ourselves. God truly admires a humble person. When fear settles in through the mistakes that had occurred, a really smart person will attempt to reconcile. So I believe reconciliation is not a bad thing in general and that there's no need to keep on avoiding. God will set up the appointment, and it's just a matter of not having resentment or conceitedness with the person you are offended by.

It appears that some of Jacob's sons may not have been closely brought up in the way of the Lord. When family gets so huge, I guess it's easy to just label a child as a son or daughter and ignore things about them. I think it's easy for us to sometimes get really frustrated about bad things happening to the ones we love and try to take revenge as a result. Through the bad things happening in the world, it's rather courageous to try to stand to reason instead of resorting to hatred and bloodshed. Even while the opportunity is available, we should try to consult the Lord first before engraving our own contempt on a person who wronged us. This is an area that I thought I was strong in, but I think my immaturity showed signs of still developing and causes people to block out their rudeness that they feel were insignificant. It's rather awkward feeling burdened down by others and trying to show your full appreciation for them. I have had moments of just becoming this pained creature giving out directions to stubborn people who won't change. It's like parenting in a way and being able to see it through prayer is allowing me to repent. It's also pretty weird because I can't seem to always remember that little detail people love about me, which helps me to lead them. I guess leading others has been a little stressful for me with the amount of patience I have had in the past. The lack of confidence and knowledge through the evils of this world indicate that people who have wronged me are training in foolish things and setting themselves up for failure.

Gen 25:27-Gen 28:5

Today, I read about the life of Issac and his sons Jacob and Esau. Jacob took on the favor of his mother, Rebekah; whereas, Esau had the favor of his dad, Issac because he brought home wild game. (Gen 25:28) Esau ends up giving up his birthright to Jacob. (Gen 25:33) It looked as if Esau focused on the things of the moment, as it is for me sometimes. By focusing on the "I'm suffering now part", it could look foolish to give up all that you treasure to the wrong entity. I guess Esau did not really have so much concern about his birthright, but rather wanted focus on the pleasures of the world. It appears that Esau plots to kill Jacob out of being mad that he does not have any family inheritance to enjoy for materialistic comforts. (Gen 27:41) Back then, it must have been pretty difficult access to have warm housing, food, workers, and sanitation without it being passed down to family.

Esau did marry some women who did not turn out to be a blessing for Issac. (Gen 26:35) Perhaps, it might have been for physical attraction that he chose to marry these Canaanite women. (Gen 26:34) Holding control of those hormones to stay pure is a real challenge for a lot of guys. The Bible suggests that believers should not marry a non-Christian. It is something about the bonding of the yoke thing. I recently heard about a well-brought up American falling for a man who is a part of radical Islam. One of the main reasons to not do this is because the head of the family should have total reverence for God. Family is the basic unit of growing in love and growing up well. If a spouse becomes a Christian later he or she can be a witness to the other spouse by being a blessing. God permits marriages for unbelieving couples, but it's been told that true happiness won't be found directly in the relationship. It has to come by the true cleansing flow of the Holy Spirit through our Lord and Savior, Jesus. Salvation through Christ is a concept that is not too difficult to pick up on. It's just a matter for all of us to want to call upon his name. A lot of people seem to argue that Christianity is this biased religion that offends others by placing unfair judgment on good men and women. They seem to want to argue about mainly contradictions. Nothing could be more false with the true nature of God. All the evil in this world is attributed to Satan. He alone said that there would be no peace and destruction if Jesus would worship him. Jesus knew that if he had done it then it would result in chaos at the end because one little sinful act- like one shot of cocaine, night of losing virginity, and getting drunk could result in a life of regretting some things.

Issac truly struggled with people back in the day. (Gen 26:14) It wasn't just a pleasant trip, but God had a place for him. I think it's intended for me find my place with God and to allow Him to transform me because I want to trust in God's Word. The day is coming for me to find overflowing riches in God's kingdom. Currently, I'm blessed to be able to live a certain wealthy life to be able to have fellowship with God. I do want to learn more eventually.

Gen 25:1-26, 1 Ch 1:28-33, 34

These passages describe the first offspring of Abraham. We are told here that Abraham married a new woman and bore kids, along with his concubines. (Gen 25:1, 6) I have heard the Jewish law did decree it as permissible for a man to have concubines back then. Nowadays, it's basically a man being with only one wife who mutually love each other. I think it's pretty fair for the girl who needs all the attention she can get from her best friend. Don't you think?

Issac, Abraham's son, ends up inheriting everything Abraham had (Gen 25:11). Gen 25:6 says, "But before he died, he gave gifts to the sons of his concubines and sent them off to the east, away from Issac." (NLT) What's really neat is that Abraham confessed his sin of sleeping with other women instead of his wife and prepared for Issac to respect his bride-to-be by sending his concubines packing. This conjecture is taken from Abraham's concubines never being mentioned again with Issac in the Bible and that possibly the children were so young that the mother had to follow. Abraham took careful consideration of his son, and this shows that he loved Issac very dearly. He must have felt awkward about sensing the children would tamper with Issac, as Sarah had blamed Abraham for not having a direct son with her and feeling ridiculed about it. We reach to the period of Issac bearing two sons with his wife, Rebekah- Jacob and Esau. Jacob would turn out to be such a stubborn mouse, whereas Esau is seen as this elusive guy who focuses on the flesh by what I think hardly having any fellowship with God. The faithful God predestines Jacob to be the greater twin, even though he is younger. (Gen 25:23) Back in the day, it was the oldest son who inherited all of the father's possessions. They were born like a minute apart, imagine how Jacob desired being the oldest but only by a couple inches off.

Ishmael, a son of Abraham's concubine, is believed to be the ancestor of the Arabs and possibly results in the Muslim religion. Abraham has cross-ties with Judaism, a belief of the Jews; Christians, and Muslims. They all see Abraham as the founding father. Therefore, this is one account of God wanting to work in our lives, but how so many opt to push themselves away from the Creator in heaven. Abraham missed his wife Sarah throughout his lifetime; it's evident by how he meticulously prepared her funeral. (Gen 25:11) Recently, the old-timer, reputed, great evangelist Billy Grahm lost his wife who died of old age. He publicly announced his grief. It's something about these men of God who really love their wives and treat them with kindness and have a great relationship with them. It's by the blood of Jesus that I am called to take on humble confidence and eventually lead a marriage, as I try to make it happen.

Genesis 21:8-21 - Gen 24:1-67 - Jan 7

I am not that great of a devotional guy. Neither am I that great of a writer, neither am I this person who you should always look up to for advise. I do realize that it's about getting the heart right with God and following His principles as closely as possible. By being in prayer, it allows God to help us live our lives in accordance to His will and to be satisfied with getting the gist of life.

What I recall from reading this passage is that it talks about Abraham who was so willing to sacrifice his son to serve his God. The act of submission and no intention of defying God is unbelievable. The Bible states that God would not test us according to what we cannot handle. It's amazing how the faith element needs to be regarded in Abraham's servant. He traveled so far and was so loyal to serving Abraham's interests. This must imply that Abraham treated all of his servants with love and kindness and also brought out the best in his workers by encouraging them. Abraham had straight access to God, who gave him a great reputation. Imagine how Rebekah must have felt when she was called upon by God to marry Abraham's son, Issac.

The privileges that God gives come through our reputable hearts. How we conduct ourselves in love has a lot of meaning. Say for instance, a girl did some harmless act of wanting to ignore this guy who does not act like he likes her that much. The guy could be extremely bothered by it or not. If he's bothered by it, then maybe he must be sensitive. Anyway, my point is that being a good influence has a very good and positive impact. I see how when you are left out of the circle, which I get myself into a lot, you really need to face your demons. I guess it's just a matter of asking and receiving a reply. I really don't mind anymore because I'm dealing with people who come to church and need to profess to the Bible's teaching. Otherwise, God will deal with them, even if you did all you could to prevent stuff from happening. I guess giving it your all and praying to God is the best way to ameliorate any situation dealing with a person. I think getting all my desires out of a person may take a little time and effort. Oh well, I have to live with how me being quiet that I'm seen as not being that comfortable around others and set apart.