Thursday, April 20, 2023

Understanding My Lingering Fantasy

4AverageLife's Main Personal List
  1. I want to be married to a hot woman who enjoys making love almost all the time and to have this undying love and companionship with her and then maintain being a family while being a wealthy man! I must choose and be loved by this woman. Five criteria to look for:  I'm just looking for 1.) a sexy lady who is 2.) laid back, 3.) she wants to be with a guy,  4.) cares about personality more than appearances, and 5.) is usually interested in getting intimate just for fun! I'll be happy to settle with one of those women for the rest of my life.
  2. I want to be rich from trading and investing in options, stocks, and Forex. Eventually, I want this to also include some real estate and bonds. I also want to make a lot of money from getting involved in IT which focuses on software engineering, IT security, and database administration. 
  3. Buy a single family home. I must be rich!
  4. Do some smart cooking. I must be vigilant, committed, not distracted, and feeling lots of time.
  5. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. Buy related products. I must feel comfortable.
  6. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! I must be committed and remind myself. 
  7. Work out four days a week with alternating muscular, full body,  and yoga classes.  I must be committed and remind myself.
  8. Conduct regular hygiene. Take a shower before sleeping. Don't forget the mouth guard. I must be committed and remind myself.
  9. Finish my software engineering related courses. I must be committed and remind myself.
  10. Read something from a book. I must commit.  
Purpose: "I am brilliant and universally favored by others therefore I will live the life of a wealthy gentleman." 

My Top 10 values are in order
  1. Faith
  2. Love, Happiness, and Joy 
  3. Personal freedom
  4. Balance
  5. Understanding
  6. Health
  7. Strength and self-reliance
  8. Inner harmony
  9. Goodness
  10. Enjoyment
I see myself as a fit and cut up dude enjoying physical intimacy with a beautiful woman who is my faithful wife and she's loving every second of it, too! I am also a rich man with successful results that are visible while managing any personal hassles or adversity with positivity that is second to none. I make money while having a lot of free time on my hands. 

Affirmations of what I want:
  1. I am married to a hot woman who enjoys making love almost all the time and now has this undying love and companionship with her and maintaining a family as a wealthy man! I have chosen and am loved by this woman.
  2. I am now averaging reading at least thirty books a year!
Affirmations of what I want to believe:
  1. I am always fully happy with what I have going on in life.
  2. I am capable of not feeling hurt or bothered by others.
Affirmations for compelling visions:
  1. I have a purpose for living.
  2. I visualize my dreams with clear and specific goals in mind.
Affirmations for thinking, speaking, and affirming into existence:
  1. I have control over my thoughts and stay focused on my affirmations.
  2. I enjoy thinking with optimism and a cheerful heart.
Affirmations for connecting to the heart:
  1. I keep myself open-minded to finding my woman.
  2. I am pursuing things that really matter to me the most.
Affirmations for acting:
  1. I am taking action right away without letting it linger.
  2. I let myself accept great opportunities when the situation arises. 
Summary of personal tasks:

Trading/investing, doing work, working out, growth stretches, ab belt workout, push ups/pull ups, facial product, showering, brushing teeth twice, reading, homework, and other errands. 

Summary of interpersonal goals:

Work on close friendships and love.

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What did I do right today? 

I am trying my best to make money and to maintain balance with my life.

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I've been told that I'm fun, very smart, a good person, and sometimes complimented on my good appearances from what I choose to wear as fashion by some nice ladies who would be of interest. 

My personal struggles with relationships have come from others who behave like narcissists. I think I used to be a vulnerable narcissist myself from being selfish about wanting to be called the nicest man in the world. 

Another one of my struggles has come from people who try to give me advice and I disagree with them while they keep on insisting that their way is better than mine. This could be a sign that they are narcissists because I suspect they want to selfishly get their happy fix on from feeling like they did something to help a friend. Also, they carry some narcissistic traits over from ending up not being happy about me disagreeing while becoming flustered over thinking they were trying to help while not realizing instead that they were being more of a nuisance from instigating. 

The way I dealt with this struggle was strategizing on coming up with better advice or the best one I can and communicating it with them. From taking upon this approach, I have made a narcissistic friend not really try to give me advice anymore. I speculate that it would drive her crazy since it was so annoying to me. We are still very close friends and I see her as family, so it's been great to pick up my confidence on even having a working relationship with these narcissistic types.