Moving Forward

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Temporary: figure out friend's car registration issue. 

14. Temporary: pack for weekend stay at friend

I think in order for #9 and #12 to happen, I need to be committed to the process! 

----

Honestly, I'm pretty stoked with this random approach that I'm doing. I don't really know if my numbers are going to dwindle by the end of the month. Imagine I start mouthing off about Crazy Lee again even though she most likely knows that I'm doing this to her on here and shamelessly as well! Hey, I message her and she either feels bad about complaining or has learned to block me out by now. It's about time that I went to try talking to her again and see her sorry looking face in person this time around. I finally have communication under my belt! 

I have a stupid superstition. After the last message to Crazy Lee, I didn't see the cops showing up around my vicinity at work for the whole week! I saw one today pass me by and acting like I was a nobody. 

Main Things to Do

4AverageLife's Main Personal List

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying clean stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

10. Force myself to initiate cooking.

11. Force myself to initiate doing proper things at work.

12. Speed up process.

13. Temporary: figure out friend's car registration issue. 

14. Temporary: pack for weekend stay at friend

I'm going to for now add or remove from this list. It's just repetition that I plan to do, even if I don't make any sense to others reading this. 

I really ought to figure out #4 by turning back purchased items that are no longer in use and then selling my old drone for some easy money. #13 and #14 go together. Most people assume my friend is a dude but she's a girl. We're close friends but personally, I figured it out, I'm not interested in her because she doesn't have enough qualities that make me attracted to her. She doesn't know this or has probably felt the vibe enough times but is still cool with it because she said that she really likes me when she was mad at me last week! 

Things I Wish to Do - Part 2

Even if I never get around to them, I'm still going to be content. These are the things I want to get myself started on, have put on hold, or working on. 

1. Fall in love with the type who fulfills my preferences and then marry this good woman.

2. Work out regularly with cardio-muscular exercises. 

3. Become a millionaire with a lot of free time on my hands as soon as possible without stressing        myself out. 

4. Buy and play everywhere with the DJI FPV drone.

5. Buy a single family home. 

6. Finish my software engineering related courses.

7. Work on applying stuff to my face. 

8. Continue to do growing-naturally-taller routines, even if some of them are a scam! 

9. Read

Great Trick to Living Long and Healthy

This is what I read a little while ago and find it to be so meaningful and truthful. 

You are supposed to have a clean diet, exercise regularly, get adequate sleep, and maintain close relationships. It makes sense because this is a great way to enjoy a fulfilled life.

It's great to have freedom in these areas: time, money, relationships, physical, and spiritual. These are the top five areas that we should all master to have enlightenment within ourselves. 

Honestly, I'm glad to that I have a true friend in a girl which was pretty unlikely from the start because she's of age and someone I would want as a partner if only she had the qualities I was looking for. Everything else is fine even though she opens up a lot about her problems and how I don't seem to find fault over those issues anymore. All that's left is really her personal qualities and as long as she doesn't end up in being more than two, long-term, serious relationships with guys or has a kid with someone. 

Things I Wish to Do

I have learned to be content with where I'm at right now. I've held it together with no problems for a long period and will keep it going. 

This comes from having peace of mind while believing upon Jesus as my Lord and Savior. You can say that I am a full-pledged Christian and never going anywhere else in my belief system forever. I nourish my faith by listening to the whole Bible verbatim on almost a daily basis. 

It's crazy how I'm doing with my life. With the lady friend who I have gotten so close to and is my buddy, she isn't someone I'm not interested in having as a partner so it makes me feel sad because I know the reason whenever she brings up a small discussion referring to my dating life. She doesn't have the qualities I look for in a partner, so I'm not attracted to her enough. However, these qualities are something I believe that any woman who is lacking can permanently gain if she wants to. I'm going to be progressive here and go with the right lady who already possesses them. 

Appearances don't really matter that much to me anymore. I have figured out the certain qualities in a partner I have preference over. These can work out to be part of the values I want in a partner, and they are close to non-negotiable. Therefore, I really do have a type and thankfully; they're common! I'm not really going to lay out too many of these qualities I want on here. 

This ends Part One. 

Getting to a Million Dollar Formula

I honestly feel like right now I may have stumbled upon a bleeding gold mine while trading the Forex market. I ended up running twenty trades overnight and they all ended up with a positive return in the afternoon. I made more than what I lost last month, after cashing in the majority of these trades. This is something I think I can repeat pretty consistently. 

I think I have a full system that's working in order effectively. It will even adapt to any market situation, while still being able to leave it as a swing trade. This might become easy money for me. It's also something I don't think I'll ever really commercialize either for more profit. I would rather just keep it my own thing that's like money growing on trees. 

I put in all this labor to figure it out, so I think I finally deserve to enjoy its riches which I consider myself blessed to have reached. I don't intend to really be vocal about this except just saying that I finally became a millionaire on my own terms.  

Understanding Dating Preferences

I think I'm a dime in a dozen when it comes to my acquired taste with dating. I'm not really that interested in appearances. 

I have learned that a woman's personality and good qualities can turn me on so much more than just admiring something hollow. This was verified to me with a photo of a physically attractive woman. I rate her as a 9 and could even be a 10. I didn't feel anything romantic or chemistry from the way she was positioning herself on the camera. From comparing it to a former coworker who is about a 5, I thought she was super hot because of her sweet personality and a few noticeably sexy body parts. I found out a little too late that she's single. It didn't work out between us unfortunately, but I think she really was someone right for me.  

Understanding My Strong Emotions

I seem to be one of those who imagines a lot of crazy things that could happen or go wrong randomly when I'm feeling so jumpy during my selfish visualizations. I admit that it can get violent in that I will scream in my imaginations and start pushing guys like my dad onto the floor and then scream in his ear how stupid he's being with me! I wish I could get away with it without having any effect on them, but it probably would maybe because it's so crazy and if I did it in a very weird fashion. 

I actually have been ballistic before, I think, but I don't really remember. It's this type of effect that I would want to happen, if I were to go all out with screaming someone's head off. I don't think it's necessary anymore from understanding my approach. 

It's also been making me a little sad to talk a little with a female friend about finding someone else to be partners with, since I'm not interested in her. She's mentioned that she really likes me a lot and has even told me enough reasons spread out over the years I've known her. She's also in a committed relationship with someone else right now. I don't think there's enough chemistry between us for something serious to ever happen. My response is to just be quiet about it right now and not show how I'm sad to talk about this with her. 

Maybe it would be better if she never said this is about me finding someone else besides her. She should probably keep that sentence to herself. Well, I'm not mad at her for mentioning this to me a lot. It just makes me feel a little sad about our situation. This could probably also be a good reason for why it would get awkward to some people about being good friends after they dated each other.

Communicating Softly By Feeling Things Out

I'm really going to have to start questioning things and playing by feel now instead of acting so dumb. I need to think quicker on my feet and maybe treat it like it's some sort of game. I guess I can relax at the same time as well. 

I'm going to have to just say anything and just let it go now. I now figured it out. Why should the former people I associated with really care about adding me back on Facebook? It doesn't matter to begin with. It's not like I'm right at their face bugging them to begin with. They are just being uptight about something that has nothing to do with me and they just decided to make it personal with me, so it's naturally going to be my business. 

Communication is really the key. 

New Form of Soul Searching

Now I'm pretty much looking for a mate to happily pass the time while in this world and hopefully raise kids who will make a very positive impact on others for what they believe in. I have chosen my faith, but I'm not going to force it down on them. I want them to choose it at their own discretion and maybe with some help from good teachers. 

I think I'll probably be doing a lot of praying over any worries and maybe even forget about how it's stressing me out over time because this is how I'm wired. I have found a person who is right for me and with no doubts now. 

For a long time, it was really a soulmate who I felt I could never be with. It's just that the soulmate thing is something that a lot of people attach naturally with strong emotions. It's pretty annoying to hear about it, when I don't think like that anymore with who I perceive to be a soulmate. Heck, I think the person I only met for a single date could be a soulmate for me too if we spent more time together. However, it's unlikely this will happen while thinking about it realistically. I know she's out there. I also don't think her personality and qualities are really all that unique. I think there's a general type that these women can be classified into and are people I might easily be able to fall in love with, if it's not unrequited for either of us! 

With a buddy who I've been turned on by with my biological functions, she doesn't appeal to me so much like that anymore. I rank her physical attraction as a 6 right now. It's probably never been that much higher than a 7, which is probably to my ideal liking. It's pretty strange in that I felt the same way often even when she was in tip-top form and guys were drooling over her inherent beauty. I still think marrying a 5 or 6 with wonderful personality and qualities that work for me will be no problem! I'll have no trouble at all with staying in a loving mood. 

The attraction with her has sort of rubbed off on me and when I think of her now, I know that she doesn't have enough qualities I look for in a partner. I think she should work on them and that it's possible she also has a form of autism because I'm totally not interested in pursuing her right now even though she has already questioned me doing that to her! Besides, if she had the awesome qualities I look for, she wouldn't go too crazy over it to begin with and realize that I'm very chill about just being buddies. What's even crazier is that a confirmed soulmate doesn't have the qualities I look for too right now. It's just my heart that tells me she is one since we've spent a lot of time together, and it feels like she has been going through a temporary personality change.

Maybe Figured Out Something Reliable and Profitable

It looks like putting in my time to swing trade is starting to pay off little by little. I'm starting to notice some patterns intuitively and just going at it. It's some sort of art form. It's also always subject to change as well. 

I'm looking forward to seeing a ton of profit it brings in the future. Pretty much, I'm going to be working out and also taking care of my appearance. To get something though, it's mainly about focusing on that. Everything else is pretty much extra and something you should do for fun. 

If a person is involved then there's going to be sometimes a collision. It's important to just communicate. 

Projecting to Get Wealthy

It looks like I'm building wealth slowly but steadily. As I climb up this pool of wealth from mainly just putting in my money at the right places and waiting patiently, I need to figure out what else I'm going to do to keep myself occupied since now I'm convinced that playing Poker a little too often isn't going to be a good idea for me.

I think I'm going to just read more and learn to be a better software developer and also go work out and work on everything else. 

With this whole dating process, I have finally realized a type I'm looking for. I'm still open to meeting others, but I've become more of a guy who cares about the personality and qualities a woman already has in terms of being a life partner. 

What I'm Trying to Accomplish During Free Time

I mainly have a few things that I would like to stay on top of right now during personal time. They are trading, working out, reading, hygiene, working on an online class, and working on getting taller! I also want to make a habit of drinking a cup of tea or coffee every evening because I want to stay up a little longer. 

It's pretty simple with what I'm looking for now, and I'm starting to see things a bit clearer than usual. For this evening, I will be working on getting ready for a weekend trip tomorrow. 

New Preferences With Love

I don't really have many preferences on appearances anymore. I normally have a personal rating system that I hardly share with anyone. I personally find that most people range from 5 to 7. I rank myself between 5 and 6. People close to me have rated me as 7 at best. I am also very comfortable dating women I find to be in this range and they have shown the most interest with me as well. 

There are even female friends who I used to rank higher having dropped in their score. Nowadays, when I see younger and prettier faces, I'm pretty nonchalant about it if I feel anything exciting about their looks. I have learned to control these shallow impulses quite a bit well.

I'm more turned on lately by admiring a woman's personality, character, and qualities. I'm basically looking at everything good on her inside. 

For my two biggest lady friends who are currently dating someone, I have discovered that they don't possess enough qualities I want in a partner. However, I am so laid back at the thought of hanging out with them. I'm probably never going to reveal this truth to them, unless they needle me for it. 

However, it's also possible that one of them could gain it later on if she becomes single again and then get me interested since she's already admitted to liking me a lot in one of our small spats. It really makes sense though that she would like me since we have already hung out often and are able to get along so well with each other's quirkiness while having some good laughs and sometimes challenging each other's views to bring out our better sides. For now, I only see her as a true buddy which I'm so grateful to have achieved from getting to know people. 

Learning While Dating Others

For all the small experiences I have with dates, I have confirmed it was just an official date while being all there mentally with only one person. It's also the first time I experienced the after effects of being interested on a confirmed date and realizing how I failed at it!

Still, I have been learning fast and I realize that communicating with my dating partner has been valuable. I struggled so many times but now I don't seem to have this hindering us. 

The main thing is talking about what you like about her as a potential partner and asking her what she thinks about you. 

Understanding Some Complex Feel Good Emotion

Something I've always wanted in the back of my mind was obtaining something that seems so far away to obtain but is right in front of me. It was becoming true friends with a cute girl of age! I found someone who I would date if she had enough qualities I look for in a partner but she's still lacking in that area. 

I'm not playing that game of believing she will change, if I pursue her. I'm going to play with what people are already going to give in person. I'm pretty laid back enough to figure that she could develop these qualities I want in the future, and I'm also willing to move on if she does while marrying the right person for her. 

For myself, I'm so happy that she's just a true close friend to me. It brings some good tears of joy! We definitely hang out often and share some good laughs while also challenging each other and ticking each other off sometimes. We have a solid relationship, overall. 

Promoting Something Good and Positive

I've realized that two tall white guys who are out of shape and look so ugly have removed me as a Facebook friend and then requested to add me again. I really don't mind because they took the liberty to request adding me again. I think they were jealous of me and going through some negative period to make them feel that way. I can have some compassion for them, even if this assumption is totally incorrect!

I'm the short guy who doesn't look ugly! They are the tall guys who look ugly! I guess we can mesh together while taking and removing something from each other. I think those tall guys can dramatically improve upon their appearances if they cared to work out and fix their diet, so naturally they could look like studs to so many hopeful ladies out there. 

What I have is the personality and temperament required for getting married to a lady who is my type. How I confirmed this is that I have already gone out on a first date with the right one. It was my first time which surprised me so much afterwards because I took it for granted and it didn't turn out well. 

She's been nice though and gave me some useful feedback to work on. I may try to hit her up again, after dating around a bit. It's that simple. It's also something that I can't explain too easily because it feels all natural and intuitive in a sense. 

Looking for acceptance on my Facebook was too crazy because it won't pay the bills and suck up a lot of positive energy from always being mad about not getting enough likes! I'm totally off of it and now I figure that whether my Facebook acquaintances care or not, I should post things on there that are important to me and have a really good message, which is usually about inspiring anyone to do something positive and have fun. It's about the quality over quantity for me which is unlike the soulmate who tries to do both but probably manufactures them with less quality! (She's a soulmate in secret now for life but I think dating my type will probably end up becoming a better soulmate.)

Putting in the Effort

A friend has admitted to me that she can't control her biological responses when she sees a very good looking man sometimes. Basically, she's making an excuse about being shallow without implying it at all to not feel bad about it and saying that it's just something women can naturally be born with in general. You sometimes have to listen to the person and it's how you communicate. 

It's important for the fully grown man to be a stronger vessel than the women he's around because it's just how the world is. From conversing with this pal, she eventually said that with the right person, preferences won't ever matter to you. She's cool about staying single though even if the right man never walks into her life. For being a single straight man, I have learned to become one of those rare guys out there who is happy to never be with anyone. 

I am content, even if I never find anyone to be with. However, just from being the person I am, I want to be constantly at my best while being happy if I'm still working at achieving anything, no matter how silly it might seem to me. I'm no longer feeling bad about constantly failing and see it as personal feedback to how I can keep on improving myself while turning the page. If I still enjoy it, then it only means that I'm meant to keep on progressing at it. For example, it must mean that I don't really enjoy gambling in Poker as much as I thought. 

I'm going to work out, take care of my appearance, and just be confident without needing to rely on anyone else for it. It's definitely a lifelong thing that I'm interested in doing, with a partner or not. It could turn into an advantage though with dating some women, but I prefer dating someone with better qualities. I'm not so hung up over appearances that much anymore and realize that a natural compatible personality along with enough qualities I look for in a partner will get me turned on. I'm also not looking to be with any single moms or ladies who have had a little too many serious relationships, which is my current preference. 

How I'm Personally Seeing My Female Friends

From having dated around a few times with some ladies who were serious about finding a husband, I already have a better understanding of what I'm looking for. It looks like I have been learning fast with my dating world because it's been necessary. 

With most of my female friends, they have been lacking somewhere in my partner preferences. I'm looking for someone decent and used to struggle with wanting a girl to look a certain way. I just don't care that much anymore. If she looks about a 5 to 7 out of 10 then I'll be happy if she has enough qualities I look for in a partner and has been single without too many serious relationships and no kids. 

What's helped me get over my personal shallowness about appearances is that I'm inspired from having grown up with lack of self-esteem over my height and appearance. I'm more indifferent about how I look. Heck, I even rate myself between a 5 to 6 most of the time. I think that's the general personal attitude I have over myself, no matter how much work I put into my appearance. Therefore, I'm interested in always being a 6 if possible because it's the best I can do. 

It totally makes sense that women around 5 to 7 have shown interest in me and even some of my female friends. It's just that they might have some baggage or be lacking in qualities or not have something within my preference. It's crazy because there's a variety of lady friends I would want to personally date, if they only had the right things I was looking for. I never really seriously pursued them either but I guess I'm lucky to be instinctually smart about holding off until I find out. 

It's helped build my character while enjoying staying single. Getting into a relationship will only be an enhancement but not a requirement to be content for myself. This is a tough pill to chew for most people. 

Finally, a Closing Message to Crazy Lee

You were yelling at me over stuff that didn't pertain to you and you
said you were trying to help. You weren't being helpful and then you
put up a restraining order and then complained about me bugging you in
court and couldn't explain that the document you made up was enough to
put a restraining order on me. It's legally not enough to do it, so
you intentionally withheld details.

You were being crazy and I think I have a case against you to
countersue if I really needed the money to go seek a therapist or
counselor. I managed just fine eventually.

I have communication under my belt and think you guys were all being
young and stupid with me. I don't think there's anything wrong with
just wanting you to accept a Facebook connection. Heck, you could even
adjust security settings.

You guys were just being really uptight and dealing with anger issues.
You guys show it by yelling at me in frustration and making up stuff
that doesn't make sense. If it's that bad, then turn me in to
authority. I accept it but you haven't and the consequences weren't
that bad.

You expected me to go out quietly, but it never happened. You were
just being incredibly wrong and I had a hard time talking through it
because it was confusing my brain so much and making me so angry the
whole time! I just stayed quiet while I was mad.

You just went completely ape crazy with me in person. It's such an
embarrassment that I think you guys have autism or something now that
you can't see things and have some tunnel vision. It's no wonder you
guys aren't sitting at the top after saying you guys think you know
more than me. You guys were being like selfish divas from feeling
something that had nothing to do with me and wasn't serious as well.
Someone should have stepped forward by now.

If I'm still making you guys react in this manner, then I think it's a
good time for you guys to still see a therapist. I'll be around just
to double check on you. I mean peace this time and have no problems
communicating your problems with me even around the people you care
about.

I have no qualms about coming across as rude just because you feel
that way. I'm just communicating very strongly and in a negative tone
my opposition with you in person. This has become personal now between
all of you and me.

Hope you guys get better though and learn to manage your angry
emotions in a much cooler fashion.

Always Making a 100% Effort

I think the only way to achieve this is to be mindful about it and then not stress yourself out about it, while completing tasks you have set up for yourself to achieve any purpose you have in mind. For a good example, I guess it makes sense that anyone can be mindful about having fun and just relaxing, which is a completely cool thing to do and how anyone can easily turn it into a habit. 

I'm interested in connecting with any woman out there now just to gain some experience with dating. I'm not really looking for anything serious to be honest and just want it to compliment myself with finding a good partner in the long run. 

Well, first things first is that I need to work on feeling more accomplished and then get comfortable with imagining myself on wedding day.  

Adapting to Better Methods

I'm constantly seeking a way right now to improve my standard of living. I'm basically doing this from trading in general. It looks like I'm switching more over to a swing trading method now and  relying on high timeframes so that I won't have to monitor the screens constantly. 

I'm looking forward to the day that I start killing it and won't have to come into any office anymore. I'm also ready to get married now to any decent looking girl. My preference is that I would like her to have an awesome personality and enough good qualities, while never having had any kids nor being in too many serious relationships and never married. 

All of my good female friends fall short of what I'm looking for. I don't have that many of them either. 

Best Teacher With Dating

I think the best teachers for dating are from the few ladies who I briefly dated and I was brave enough to ask them related questions to improve myself at it. One of them said it's about how you carry yourself. 

The other said to not ask them if you want to start off as friends, if you like them! I think I didn't communicate properly with the last one but that does sound like common sense. I told her that it's been a long time since I've dated. It seems like these few girls are actually serious about finding someone to be with, and I think that's how it should be. 

If someone's heart is not in it, then you shouldn't really be serious that you are going to change their mind in the first place. I now understand that a buddy's ex saying that he hates me for being a close friend to this girl was being stupid! My buddy never really had her heart seriously set on the relationship. I think I might have given her ex the wrong advice but I did have good intentions. I think playing it safe was the way to go but he got mad about it, so yeah, he was being stupid about it in the end. 

Being Patient About Getting Wealthy

I'm starting to see that making money is about waiting to see how it goes on a monthly basis, especially when it comes down to investing and trading. So far, I have been able to put a lot of energy into it and it's starting to formulate into an informal system that I keep to just myself. I'm analyzing the chart and coming up with a decent strategy that works and will make money in the long run. Nothing is for certain though, but as long as the strategy averages out into something reliable, it's something that can really be ongoing. 

The rule of thumb that I'm teaching everybody interested in me is that you have to be able to understand how much you're risking. You have to imagine how comfortable you would be if you ended up losing it all. You don't really know what's going to happen but you can manage the amount that you can lose and at how much volatility. It really comes down to how comfortable you are with managing your money. Everybody will be different.

A friend's mom was asking me about getting started and I advised her not to do what other successful friends are telling her because the results may vary. It's pretty much being as smart as possible and being patient about gaining riches. This is pretty much about making a living. 

My Private View of Some People With Autism

I have a private view about soulmates too. The soulmate I'm referring to is not considered to be my soulmate by most people's standards in this world. She is to me in my heart, so I'm just not going to bring it up with anyone because I'm not interested in being with her at the moment! It's weird right? People say she's not my soulmate and I'm not interested in her, but I still see her as a soulmate.

Well, anyway, I think this soulmate of mine has a form of autism! I say this because she says she's aware of stuff while acting in a very offensive manner to me while she wasn't able to pick it up that it was very off putting to me. What she did was just tell my short buddies and me in person that she's not interested in dating short guys. What's weird is that she was also in one of her rebounds from a failed serious relationship and came onto me like she was in heat! Man, it was so weird. It feels like she was on her monthly quite often because she sounded so cranky all the time.

Well, this soulmate of mine who I think developed a form of autism is also not the most wonderful person in the world because of her being how I described it. From finally going on a date with a person I'm interested in while we both confirmed it was a date after, it's really been an eye opener. 

Optimizing Time Well Spent

I'm starting to understand the proper strategies to apply. They are of course ethical and well-intended. 

Playing online Poker for real money is actually a fun game for me, and I do have a goal which is to profit a certain amount each day but the time varies to get to it. A set time is something I don't really have any control over and feel is necessary to have to enjoy a good life. 

Therefore, I can't rely on it anymore to make a living no matter how much I have an urge to make it one. It goes against my very well-being. I think the smart thing to do for killing some time then is to read and complete advanced courses related to software development.

Dealing With Difficult Personalities

We all have people in our lives who sometimes act like they suck in carrying themselves in whatever our relationship is to them. I am able to do so well and outshine a bunch of people because I'm just better at feeling that way and putting a lot of focused effort into it naturally. It's the confidence that I have been waiting for that finally arrived for me. 

Something new that I've learned is that some people's qualities just suck and are totally lacking. It's because of these qualities that make the desire of wanting to be with some ladies undesirable. It's a deal breaker for me. It's crazy because I never thought of it like this before. I'm so much more about the qualities and personalities of women now because their physical appearances don't really amount to much personal attraction for me anymore. I'm a lot older and all I'm reminding myself of is that I'm looking at a very beautiful outward shell with some of them. Of course, if some of them really worked on it and became so much better than my mind could change in an instant. However, I don't count on this happening overnight and there are plenty of ladies out there who may already be someone right for me. 

I've learned that I am pretty confrontational so I have no fears of being this way anymore. If the person I'm confronting can't put him or herself in motion to make you happy, then it's because he or she has some type of autism. I mention autism because it's like a fixed way of thinking the person has wired him or herself to be like from a natural setting. I've learned to be quite open minded and also a lot better at communicating which is the key to all of this. 

In conclusion, Crazy Lee and some of her mates are really people to me who have a form of autism. They have qualities that they can work on, but don't see it as necessary because they don't agree with me. It's pretty much viewing it as them having a form of autism whether it's temporary or not in a one-sided manner. 

From coming to this acceptance, it's now easier to strategize how to communicate with them on the spot without any preparation. I just know that my direct communication is an asset that will work to my favor. 

Personal Tricks I've Learned About Dating

The first thing I've learned about dating is to figure out what the girls you are dating are mainly looking for. It was weird that my parents signed me up for a format where we are supposed to meet each other and then become spouses.

Anyways, I'm part of it now and I was just treating it like it was originally not a real date so I wasn't being serious about it. I was just having fun and getting to know people. I wanted to hang out with these girls again because they are decent but they were like no because there's no chemistry!

I now know that it's because I wasn't flirting with them. The main thing is to flirt with them by telling them things you like about them with what you see in a life partner. The next thing is to let them openly discuss how they feel about your differences. These two things are what I wasn't doing enough of and it's something I just didn't think about because I wasn't being serious enough. 

Everything else like taking care of your appearance is nice and should be done at the best level you can do for yourself. I now understand that real dates are about doing these types of deals, but the most important is doing the first two things I mentioned just previously.

Oh I get it. It's crazy. I was thinking about it all wrong but then I ended up meeting a person who is right for me. She ended up helping me set things straight, even though I messed up our date! I'm not really embarrassed about it or anything. I'm ready to make progress and I'll be trying to get another shot at her after a while if I don't find anyone else.

Mature Revelation

***This is something I recently sent to my peers.***

"I was really shy to mention this and maybe it was because of my stubborn attitude about wanting to be so manly and holding onto so much silly pride.

You guys crossed the boundary and kept on egging me with advice that was bothering me. I influenced you guys to stop and this was by complaining enough with annoying texts or messages that you couldn't understand but knew something was bad. I was so shy and angry at the same time trying to let it all out but couldn't so the emotion would never go away for a while. I was too angry and selfish about something to even go get help and so motivated to make it happen. It was right under my nose.

At least I influenced you guys to stop even if it meant you to forcibly cut off communication with me. My doors are open for chatting anytime you feel comfortable. I will continue to respect your space with anything you feel angry and selfish about." 

Intended meaning:

I need to communicate with you in person that you never were meant to give me any advice since you decided to cut off communication. Experts never need to do that. Also, I need to tell you that I will respect your space from still feeling angry and selfish about anything dealing with me about this. I'm lucky to have finally discovered that I have my main need already met with you cutting off communication and desiring to move on. 

I Will Find Her

I don't care how long it takes me but I will someday meet the one even though I just let one slip by me! This might take me longer than I thought but it's great that I'm about to talk to a trusted lady friend who knows a lot about dating. She pretty much says that there's nothing I can do about it. 

I just have to keep on trying, until I find someone who is into the whole package with me. I'm going to have to just start asking questions relating to our relationship status. It's going to be supposedly uphill from here, but I'm ready to move forward. 

Improving Upon Dating

For my third date, I thought I had this one in the bag but I totally botched it up. It wasn't my best moment to shine and she was definitely the right one to try to start a family with. What's great is that she was good about being honest with me and helping clear up some misunderstandings I had with her. 

I think she was the one, but I botched it up so it's back to the drawing board. I totally screwed this one up and looks like I'm at the hands of a sad matchmaker who doesn't understand what I'm doing wrong with these awesome women I'm able to go on a date with.

At least it was a good experience and I'm glad that I need to get better with connecting and pursuing a romantic relationship. I think it's time to try it again.