It's Been An Interesting Journey

I think I'm sort of living with new ideals. I'm realizing that my temptations are pretty strong and by repetitiously overcoming them, I am becoming stronger. Haha. I'm just a typical guy, but have been characterized as being sensitive even with the most rudest person on the planet with me. It's sometimes going to have be my little sister. Hehe.

I'm sort of laughing at the thought of being intimate with some people because they are giving me a hard time and feel really harassed when I try to talk to them about it. I think the best solution is to talk with them while others are around and then answer the questions of others who are trying to get me to stop. By voicing my concerns which I can obviously do in a unique way, they pretty much just stop because they might feel a little weird about telling me to stop in general. I guess they could be the ones who go through issues that are a little weirder than I thought. There's absolutely nothing wrong about being vocal and strong about it and then trying to correct one another. It's annoying sometimes, but it's a part of being human. It's best to try to forget about everything, and in my case right now I'm going for making some better changes. It's not really like the way it was before. I'm starting to understand this stuff, mechanics, how it keeps my mind healthy, and really punishes the soul of the real perpetrator. It's at a less degree but it's pretty fun to be weird and left alone by others sometimes. Best thing is to forget about it and do what you can because you don't know what's going to happen. I now have a vision to follow for these little things and then to build it to bigger things.

Little Sad

I feel like so much time has been passing by. I really need to get to the point of finding a rhythm while resolving all my problems with people who can't justify what I did wrong with them. It really bothers me a lot, and their response has been like they went over several times with me. Actually when I talked to them and ask them to open up a little more, it feels like they are adding new details. In fact, they never really talked about it fully with me. They pretty much need to just quit it and submit in a nice fashion and do something that has a terminology of being nice. I think it's their feeling of not wanting to be defeated that they could be worried about. In this area, I think they already defeated themselves but are wording it differently to try to favor themselves. It really looks like they are going to end up being quiet with me. It is pretty funny in a way of what they did, so I guess they can still be accepted but on the long run, I don't think they are going to develop many more friends. I think their personality is going to limit themselves from reaching out to others in the future. They must really value this, even if they could made a mistake because they want to blame that the origin of a problem that started began with me.

It's a little wrong because they are the ones who actually created confusion and some frustration on my mind. They want to downplay that they are the ones to have started it. By reviewing their actions, it seems like they practically have nothing to say and are going to have to accept the faults that they have been composed of since they were born. Going from here, do I yell at them? Do I continue associating with them? These are all questions that I need to not doubt in my head anymore. In a pragmatic sense, by discussing with them my approach would be looking for a solution and that it appears that I'm trying to basically obtain something because I think it would better benefit me and might appear to be okay to others, even though it may not be that big of a thing. So that means if I do this right, they pretty much have no say and when I cover enough material with them, they pretty much agree with everything I will say. This type of responsibility is king on my end and may represent abuse if it increases to more of my selfish desires being obtained. I think I seriously am chosen by God now. I don't plan on doing something bad, and I think it's good to not feel so locked down. Big considerations are a must for me. Might be as well obtain that main factor in just personally releasing my frustrations without yelling and being funny and being smart. I am not going to be mindful of how it affects the other party because they seemed to be the wrong end and justify they are right using the wrong terminology.

Finding Some Grounds

This past year has been a whole lot of saying and listening. Just that it was really something I did not want to really be a part of. I feel like I'm really shooting myself in the foot by writing on this blog. I guess I'm just going to do it because it seems to be doing something good for me. For once, I'm getting some visits. Maybe not that much but it's something to write because there's always something to type about. I really am starting to build a lot more confidence and capable of understanding the other person's emotions now. At first, I really did not know what to make of them. These people who seem to act up when you just want them to do something they don't really want to consider that serious with you. I understand now. It's a wall that they are putting up. I really get it now.

It seems like it's really important to stay normal. I don't really know what I'm going to do sometimes. It feels like I naturally flow with something when people start arguing with me in something that should not really be that important. It looks like I'm catching stuff that is really bad now. I'm definitely different than what I was before. I'm a little more mature and accurate now. I'm starting to get this. I'm supposed to aiming for bigger things. By aiming for bigger things, the consequences can be a lot greater with the little things that I do.

Post-Thanksgiving

I'm just typing something on this blog. I need to get myself busy instead of sitting around on like this holiday and doing nothing. I need to find really something healthy and fun to do. I guess I'm looking at trying to be okay. My little sister has been complaining but is starting to be looked down a little badly because of her unusual whining. Hehe. That's like her usual self, actually. Haha. Okay, I should not be really talking so much about my little sister. I just do it because it seems to make other people laugh a little. It's starting to lighten up my mom, a little too.

I'm really going to have give a lot of effort in not trying to be lazy this time around. Since I'm a guy and pretty motivated even through stressful times, I think things should not be looked upon as a crisis for me. Especially when times are bad, I don't think I should be looked at as someone's crisis. It does not really make any sense. Okay, time to try to get back to work.

Happy Thanksgiving

Hey there, Happy Thanksgiving. Hope the turkey is cooked really well and your family stays together in one house and everybody is happy and safe. My little sister pretty much has these feelings of wanting to yell at me this season for some feminine reason. Hehe. I hope she comes around and starts being a lady at about 24-7 in her life. Haha.

I hope the stuffing is good. The ham is glazed with the perfect flavoring. In my case, I'm used to honey. Hope the gravy is not old, as like it was scooped up from the gutter. Hehe. Hope everybody has a merry holiday. It's pretty fun to type out stuff and just have fun. I have this weird feeling that law enforcers are reading my blog like a hawk right now. Haha. I do not really mind because my mind is channeling this force that's hard to resist these days. Haha. My ethics are pretty normal and compared to others' thoughts it is pretty acceptable. The law enforcers who read this writing in hopes of finding dirt can pretty much go shove themselves to the doors of real criminals! Hehe. Jesus did dine with sinners out of having mercy and compassion for them. Someone who can't justify what I did wrong and so feels they have the right to dispatch me over something they can't seem to reason with me is so on the contrary of what Jesus called them up to do.

Just Commenting About Myself

I'm just typing really fast again and going to pretty much do this as like a routine. I'm just going to say what's on my current mind. Right now, I don't really have much to write about. Haha. I'm feeling a little unloaded with all the remarks that I said. I know they could be wrong, and I hope I did not cause too much damage. I've been just trying to release frustration in the most acceptable manner and is ethical but I guess I'm really into humor while trying to be nice. I think the things that I say or write when it comes to letting go of my frustration may actually get others to sort of smile, laugh underneath, and best of all get it off my chest while I'm laughing internally. I don't have to be mean and start yelling at the top of my lungs, like some frustrated individuals have done with me. No matter how much I wanted to yell back, I tried to resort to resiliency and being capable of dealing with it which is close to impossible unless you yell back. Hehe. I did not yell after all so I resorted to a little bit of humor by being honest with them and going from there. Overall, I think I really care about it if people have something against me and can't really explain it while feeling that they did in person with me. It frustrates me a pretty great deal, and I'm doing what I can to let it go now. I'm realizing truths a little better, and the things I could possibly do in a safe, sensitive manner that sort of makes the other person look bad unfortunately. I hope those people just learn to come around. Haha. I don't want to be frustrated about this matter. I need to do things at my best with assurance which I fully have now.

Just Writing Really Quick

I have another blog that I am keeping hidden. It's pretty much personal notes where I get to just play around with whatever thoughts I have. I guess writing has helped me manage my time a little better by opening to a world very safely and in an acceptable manner. That's why the blog was originally invented in my opinion. To give people information in a casual manner or where some might actually be more educating than just writing scattered thoughts. I guess this blog is not really meant to be really popular, but I'm just opening it up to a world that would be willing to read it. I'm not going to try to sell myself and have others read it. In the beginning, it felt like I was exploring options on how others could help me. Some did start giving me advice that I should get professional help. It feels like they were being swines to me but I had to learn how to manage my frustrations in a healthy manner and really sell a good idea that I discovered or possessed.

My dad bought some cords to hook up a labtop to a 50-inch HDTV which was pretty crazy. The view is not really that great, and I think I would need a better graphics card to display much better quality. It was nonetheless pretty fun to watch a roller-coaster ride on YouTube. It feels more life-sized but not the same as feeling the motion and vibrations that some simulations have on your seat. It would be sort of cool to own and program on for me. I am a computer programmer with all the formal education that I received.

Giving It All

Let's see if I can push myself to greater lengths right now. I sort of talk to myself a lot sometimes. I must be really sorting through some emotions with myself right now. I'm trying to let go of my frustrations. I'm not really trying to destroy people's reputations at the same time. There is a dilemma in the works that I'm creating. It looks like I need to really push myself and that things may go over the edge for me. I'm not enjoying my life because of these frustrations that feel like it has invaded my life. I'm still functioning okay and capable of working and then improving. There must have been something that went wrong which I was unable to catch. I don't think it's fully my responsibility but rather on the consensus of the majority. This is where it can get conceivably really tricky. Might as well just be fully honest about it after I've repented of my personal sins. I pretty much have done that, and I hope the Lord will assist me in following through to keeping my personal desire of resisting temptation and not making the same sins again.

Just Posting Again

Just sneaking in another post to try to keep to an average of just one post / day. I'm starting to like this arrangement for myself. I'm just writing and having some fun with this. Let's see I'm practically going to go somewhere right now. I wonder who is interested in knowing the fun place I'm going to. I'm going to go hurt my head by studying and overloading my brain at a library sometime in the month. It sounds like fun, doesn't it? Okay, not really. I'm still a student for life though. I have some fun going to the library to work on something there.

Just Writing Something Related To My Life

Colleagues and friends are such an awesome thing to have a privilege over. It really helps pass the time and to get over the frustrations that try to tempt you to stay in the dumps. I can't believe that my mind is actually changing and my heart is becoming stronger in taking heart that this world may actually be just a place. Hehe. There are some things in my life that I have kept repeating itself over and I just justify to myself that it's not a mistake. I must be a fool if I end making mistakes that were actually something I was trying to prove to my conscience as being right. I should be more humble in my dealings with my own decisions.

I totally feel like right now that I am going to do something wrong to others. I know that I'm not going to be mean with them or try to do something nasty to others. These others are like the
"Others" found on the series called Lost. Haha. I really feel like I'm going to wrong them very heavily because I'm going to be going against their wishes. I feel like I'm going to be just doing this because I want to get rid of my frustrations. I think these others are not going to want to do anything with me. They are also going to just continue being individuals who may get really uncomfortable with me and then have desires to bruise me underneath. I just want to let go of my frustrations now. I'm not in the mood for yelling. It really did get my mind off of the frustration when I resorted to yelling, but doing that would make me feel so sad. I don't want to go that route and feel so trapped and lost later. I want to get rid of my frustrations the smart way. I totally feel in the process I'm going to be doing something really bad. I hope I succeed with whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish for the future.

A Lot of Stuff To Try

I guess I'm a fan of trying new things on my own and not really worrying about stuff too much anymore. It's great to have a friend who opens up to you, supports you, and someone who you could really have an open conversation with by being yourself. All of that stuff is good.

I'm currently starting to have these thoughts where I see a lot of fun stuff in life and things that are really amusing. They are really healthy and promote great activity. It feels good to be released from the bondage of stress like having to carry a big workload for a long time. I'm starting to see that my body is capable of relaxing when it used to tense up with this competitive feeling over anything trivial I would do. Man, that really would bite and not be so much fun. Okay, in some instances it's okay to get competitive like this one guy who you feel was screwing you over; so in a one-on-one basketball game, you manage to dunk on him or slaughter him. Yeah, that sort of feels good.

Hey There

I think I'm getting off to a great start. I'm getting letters and phone calls for setting up interviews for a really good job. My resume is a little shaky right now, but it's okay I'm going to add on some more credentials to it as my career progresses. I guess the financial investment side of me is something I'm sort of taking for granted. I don't want money to run my life. Heck, I would hate to see all the poor people go without a warm meal sometimes. I'd really like to help out the community.

God has been such a blessing in my life. I'm so glad that I'm facing a triumph in my life right now. It's a struggle and life can sometimes be painful. It's important to stay encouraged in the Lord and to really encourage others whenever you can. It's great to love those who you sort of don't want to get to know after awhile; for example, there's this girl you felt highly attracted to but something tells you not to chase after her. With that type of girl, I guess it's okay to love her as a friend and wish the best for her. It's about learning a lot of maturity in this life and really being adult about your own frustrations.

Writing A Little About Self-Employment

I'm taking a different route then what most would imagine doing to support their financial situation. I'm working solo by managing my own hours and being an independent contractor right now. It's a lot of hard work, but the only rewards that I can see come out of it is that you don't really have to wake up everyday on time. It's a little different because for example, a girl you like could be at work with these incredible hours during the daytime, and you could basically be longing to spend time with her but you have to wait. Haha.

One of the main reasons why I want to get a full-time job working at a business is because of the salary increase and career potential. Doing it on your own is a little risky and very difficult to overcome. It's also rewarding once you get passed those worries and start seeing a cash flow. It's very important to look at how other people comment about businesses based off commission. It's important to catch the vibe of the environment. I'm going to use my own example. I never really imagined that there was a school for becoming a financial and stock manager at a car dealership. Nonetheless, I never thought I'd actually work at a car dealership and start bugging people about good car deals. I might have actually taken that option of getting that Chevy Malibu which is pretty heavily advertised when it first launched its $200 / month lease with no down payment. Okay I'm going off topic right now and going to sign off right now for today.

I Could Get Used To This

I guess a lot of success is measured by having quality of life. It's really hard for some people to obtain it because they just stay stuck in the shadows of their limitations. It really takes a lot of heart to be able to put it aside and to still persist sometimes. When you look at all walks of life, sometimes imagining something big while doing a situation that is questionable to you makes you really have to consider what you're made of in this physical world. I look at this one poker player, and he openly states that he does personal meditations to try to remind himself how awesome of a player he is. Haha. I guess pride does exist somewhere. I heard from a Bible radio station that it's okay to have pride in an area that you are poor in and feel blessed about, whereas in an area where you are rich, you should be humble about it. The Bible indicates to me that it's not really about sitting there for long hours asking God to grow money on trees. It states that we are supposed to "Work with our hands." (1 Thessalonians 4:11)

Having Fun Writing

I'm just sitting as usual for a little moment out of the day. I'm starting to become a very adult-like mind with lots of passion in my head. I like the fact that I really see myself as a better individual in the future thanks to the Lord giving me a clearer direction. I really see that a lot of my model of living is being able to deal with my own personal pains by seeking comfort in Jesus, asking God for forgiveness, and really being the person who I am.

I have to admit that I can get very crafty at times, especially with individuals who seem to act a little peculiar around me. My personality is starting to become more apparent to me, and I realize that I can sound very silly at times but not really be that big of a nuisance that I'm sometimes thought to be. Being a diminutive creature that I am, I think that gives me an advantage in that I can be a pretty lovable friend naturally. Hehe.

Some Future Plans

Okay, right now I'm trying to find some things to do. I guess I've been trying to keep occupied over the weekend a little and right now I have something to really organize myself with. I totally hope that I can really find that groove and really incorporate a lot more than just sitting around and writing on this blog.

I've been capable of trying to let go of some things and not worrying so much about anymore. I guess my mindset is starting to become very healthy and really seeking out plans. I'm not really that great at the things I do all the time. I'm seriously trying to improve on a lot of things in my life right now. I hope and pray that I find a lot of encouragement and have my needs met without having to steer so off course in my life. Haha.

Just Hanging In There

I guess there's a lot of stuff that can bug me in life. It's just normal to feel that way I guess. I'm just trying to let all it go now by resolving because it feels like a healthy practice for me. I may resorted to lots of yelling and then outsmarting them in conversations which made them quiet with me. Like they did not want to be in a relationship with me anymore, but I would do stuff to take charge and they would eventually relent. I had a few of those that felt like it was taking too much of my focus. I don't think I want to to base a marriage off of that too. I actually like the fact that I was trying to nice even though I was extremely frustrated at a certain subset of people in a posse. I'm glad that I really tried and even though things became sort of worse in the end.

In the beginning, I just did not want to defend myself because I thought I had to feel guilty. I had proof with it over and over countless times that I did not need to. I guess it's how I was made and how I naturally think. There's always this chance that it will turn around because my hope never seems to fail. I am almost unstoppable when I'm frustrated and trying to get it out of my system. I am great at defending myself and good at scheming. Even though it may feel personally selfish, I just can't help getting rid of the frustration by dealing with the person. All of this is being done so that I can relieve my own frustrations while being ethical at the same time. I guess there's nothing wrong with that after all and actually succeed with it even with a very rare amount of losers telling me otherwise directly. My sister seems to really lose it all the time and says that I'm a lost cause or things like that. It really makes me laugh to recall all of that.

Dream Suffering

This is just a weird post that I'm going to talk about. I had this dream where I was being led by someone. I know that these made up leaders were just unconsciously linked to me. They were pretty much in support of me and were trying to encourage me along the way. They could sort of sense and agree with my desires as well. It was pretty interesting. I had two broken dreams while in my state of sleep that I could remember. In one of the dreams, it was a classroom setting with a girl who also made me an honorary leader and I accepted. The other was an upbeat Asian guy who looked cut-up and took charge at a poker tournament by trying to locate his ex-lover by taking a survey of how many girls had the name he was looking for. About four girls raised their hand and everybody was frozen when he had spoken up. He then asked who they were playing for. The majority of them said they were playing for the blue team and then he wished that the blue team would win. A large crowd in the room started cheering, as he stated it in a way that was encouraging.

Then, somehow a ping-pong championship table had to get in the way. Fast forward the best guy started overplaying and got beat by a crafty girl. I had to keep count for them so they trusted me for the record count.

Let's Keep Moving

Sometimes a lot of difficulty is found in having lack of desire. I guess I'm not without it anymore. Sometimes, it's this emotion that feels like it's running dry and because of it, it causes me to stick to the behavior by not wanting to give up. It's a little hard to explain and might actually transcribe into how I communicate with others.

I'm practically going to be getting really busy now. I don't really have all the time in the world as I thought I had back then. I guess friends come as a priority and I really would like to live out my desires now. My main desire right now for my personal needs is to just practically succeed financially. I think it might get depressing if I succeed and then find nothing to do while quitting work. Maybe, even under financial independence working at a company would still be okay. Being a charitable person sounds like a really cool thing.

This Morning

I have a job that I'm looking forward to going to and I need to persist in the paid training that is to come. I guess I will need to make payments of my card debt by really trying to stock up on cash the best I can right now. It's going to be extremely difficult for me in focusing on making money while doing other stuff while self-employed on the side, but it looks like that is the best I can come up with without compromising my main career in focus. If I can simply add in some time to work out my muscles and burn some fat then that would be nice too. Have a wonderful and blessed evening! It's basically going to be a lot of hard work with boring things to me while doing self-employed stuff like possibly working at a radio station, transcribing medical reports, and internet marketing. My main passion deals in working with computer-related things like programming and networking. There are a lot of good jobs out there, but I'm just starting out and still learning the ropes while getting valid written certifications with practicing some hands-on experience. I'm so glad that I nailed a position related to I.T. which is going to end up paying off for me. I'm going to have to be like a 24 hour machine, which is going to be a challenge.

Interesting

Sometimes you just have to keep on moving on and being content with yourself no matter how others are trying to bring you down. It's really sort of getting to that point with some people. Well, I guess by feeling that I'm not really doing something bad and literally knowing it while others are being bad with me, I guess there's no shame in dealing with whatever they want to exaggerate. Hehe.

I'm feeling practically really good these days and realize that there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. When it comes to dealing with my sins, they were very personal and the Lord gave me compassion and mercy while suffering with them. Hypothetically speaking, as long as I did not do anything wrong in the process and my thinking was not bad, even if others end up messing you up there's nothing wrong with me in the eyes of God. There's no need to get mad or totally in the mood of screwing someone over, especially if I'm not in jail after a cop tried with all his might to put me there but really couldn't. Haha. After all, the people who have opinions and were involved in witnessing the actions don't really have any strong remarks and I should be happy about gaining some grounds physically with them while moving on emotionally and burying hard feelings. Forgiving in the eyes of God to me means completely letting go. I guess my indirect moody behavior to get some payment from them is to just quip with humor.

Well, I'm Spending

Practically an area that I've gone really esoteric with is budget management. I have found some great jobs in the past, but I've always had some discrepancies for some reason. I guess that makes me a normal failure. I'm pretty much getting to that proper mood where everyone is supposed to be. I'm doing presumably fine I guess now. I don't know what it is with people sometimes trying to butt in with your life because they think they know better than you. I have had these incidences with me for the last couple months. Because I reject their help, they practically get mad and act out like they need to be in a punishing mood with me. I guess that's the pains of life I need to deal with.

I normally believe in giving people chances and hoping for the best out of them even though it can hurt. I still am trying to mean well with this new setting of people thinking they know better than me and then start going off in trying to punish me because I reject their ideas. There is always some type of problem. Probably mainly not making sense about something or not understanding or just being pesky. These annoyances are starting to get rather fun to deal with and not something I should get all mad dog about.

It Does Not Really Matter

I'm writing this post because I'm just going to open up that I've been fancying Facebook and understanding my situation that people sort of make with me. I've been noticing that some girls have removed their connection with me online and others are very cool about connecting.

Overall, I don't think the decision should be affecting me that much. It should not really be a big deal and I think that's just what I'm going to have to accept. I guess I'll come across as a jerk going up to speak to them clearly about it. If they overreact, it's only in natural setting for people to come up and say to stop doing something. I just need to persist and learn to get what I'm sort of interested in acquiring. I'm going to do it in a nice and smart manner to the best of my ability and not worry about mistakes anymore. I'm just going to say whatever is on my mind and allow it to get adjusted.

This is going to be a really interesting thing to open up to the public eventually in like a court room setting. Where things are appropriate to talk about, it's just going to be about opening up and being normal like I've always been. I'm glad that I'm not interested in fully blowing up anymore even though others may find that I have good reason for doing it. It's sort of inspiring pity and I don't really want to go that way with the hard times that we are all facing and the hypocritical nature that's been exhibited. I'm an adult that's being talked to by all walks of life. This is so interesting in investigating and discovering what it is without getting so emotionally hung over. Might as well just get random and try to be appropriate and adjust without using what I think is my worst trait. Even though it may sound mean in the beginning, I still need to persist in trial and error.

Walking In Daylight

I sort of write this post because I've been accustomed to reading about vampires or hearing about them. You know how vampires walk the night and stalk their human prey or adversaries. Haha. I'm starting to sleep and sometimes don't like sleeping for a long time. For some reason, by laying down for a long time my mind hates the inactivity and makes my body starve for some physical exercise. I'm going to go work out, make myself a little taller if possible by trying some yoga (haha), and continue to study hard.

I believe that I'm ready to get involved and making good progress. Maybe I'm not the greatest at what I do but sure gets beaten if I get to a point of going somewhere. It takes two to tango I hear that saying sometimes.

Getting Situated

I think it's really time for me to just pray to God and read Scriptures. I'm finding that I'm not always focused on paying attention to circumstances but really want to give some effort into finding out. Even though my emotions make me suffer a lot more sometimes, it's not enough to make me depressed and an unruly person. I pretty much want to live on a consistent basis now and really get to the point of doing things that I said I would be doing. I'm basing it a lot off of living in confidence now.

Looks like my pattern is to keep spending on education right now. Maybe my hobby is to educate myself with material so I could eventually use it to make a difference. I have this pretty strong feeling that my cash flow is going to get pretty big. I might as well make the most of not trying to be selfish for personal triumphs.

Just Posting About Something

Today, I'm realizing that life is okay and sometimes we all need time to ourselves. Apart from this whole personal decision thing which is funny and how I'm overcoming opinions with whiffs of confidence, it's really good to move on. Some things may be painful like when a person says he longer wants to be friends with you and has not been very open with you. Haha. I'm going to go off topic a little. I feel a little sad that the Yankees won the World Series...I was rooting for my favorite team, the Angels. I grew up with the Angels where they lost a lot of seasons. I ended up still liking them even though they lost so many games that one year. They had this really bad losing streak after being in first place and then they ended up losing the whole thing. Hehe.

Baseball is all fun and games. The Yankees were really hot and they did it through timely pitching and hitting. They were a great team this year. I wonder if they'll be repeating. I think statistics on paper will show that the Yankees are always going to be a powerhouse to meddle with in the MLB. The owner has like over 210 million dollars invested in the team. The most of any team in the majors. It seems like it could turn some people off from watching baseball, especially with what everyone considers to be the best player Alex Rodriguez and getting through his steroid usage and breaking up in his former marriage to go hang out with Madonna. They were very humble this year, and by adding talent into their lineup they took the MLB by storm. It's only like their 27th time with winning the World Series. Overall, humility and great talent really has its place.

Job Found

I'm just writing this post because I found a good job to work on. I will now have some income to go to school for pursuing after a Master's. I have a full week to search for other jobs and get stuff taken cared of before I get busy working. I need to pretty much utilize my time wisely now. It's going to be hard sacrificing but I hope I make it in the right areas. I think I should pursue after learning about good things I have desire for instead of just busting out my game console and remote control. People are important for me to love, in my opinion. I would really like to contribute in the best way possible. I myself can want to be an evil person sometimes and I just should not get so caught up in that. There are a lot of blessed people I would love to stick around. There are some who have big issues that were not so obvious to me in the beginning because they were deceitful, mean, and callous over the long period of having known them. I still want to be at peace with them because that's the type of person I am. I think strengthening a relationship in the Lord is a mighty task that is looked upon with love by God. The Bible says "Blessed are the peacemakers...Blessed are the meek..." The Bible says "Honesty is like a kiss on the lips." Haha. Another one says something like "Don't let the sun go down while you are angry." That's been a challenge for me sometimes and by talking to the individual or trying to reach in communication it sort of has helped me to let those feelings go. I think they are being really humanly selfish because they can't seem to let something go in their beliefs with me. They don't really have good backing because they have not even once reiterated the message that bothered them. Overall, things don't make sense and they are being selfish about it. This is really awkward in essence and easy for me to forgive.

Going To Job Interview

Hey, I am a pretty fortunate person to be willfully pursued after by some job interviewers. This is nice because they are nice and so generous to call me up. I don't really want to stay home all the time and do practically nothing and end up consuming more money and lose it all. That would not be a really smart thing to do. My parents are thinking about moving to a new house which is a lot bigger and I would seriously need to help them pay the mortgage. My sister sort of wants to remain cheap about not helping to pay off my parents in the house. I can understand her agony of working at a place and settling for second place in economic status. Hehe.

I am going to really be stocking about on more money and using it wisely to gain useful knowledge just to help out around my industry. To give back and be a good team player. I think it's great to have that type of opportunity. It would really fulfill one of my needs in life. I do realize that loving someone is really simple and sometimes unsuccessful people like the ones I came across are there to drag your mood down and keep you from succeeding by being humanly selfish. It's an area where I'm learning to forgive completely and to have faith on the Father to deliver me from being evil in times of frustration and temptation. I'm learning to manage because of the love that Christ has overflowed my life with.

Job Situation

This is just referencing what I did to start out with looking for a job. For me, I submitted about 300 resumes starting at Career Builder and Monster. I ended up getting some responses the next day. I received some calls for marketing and those type of calls really felt very shaky. I really researched it and found out that there were some complaints about the job, so I want to avoid going to those jobs mainly because it's not really dealing with my passion. One of the girls I wrote about anonymously with a fake name has a job as a marketer at a Hilton Hotel, so it seems a little peculiar right now to have feelings of chasing after her for me. Haha. The other girl I wrote about has a job as an insurance agent, so it's the same thing for me about not wanting to really chase after her. Heh. The girl who works for Hilton Hotel did express interest in getting an M.B.A. which I am really thinking about pursuing. There must be a little connection with her but in irrelevant settings, so in that case I really do not mind persuading her to open up with me and just fostering a normal happy mood setting. I'm not ever going to get around to yelling at Abby or Betsy. They are fake names that I am associating with real people. I guess it's by default since they are female, I don't really want to use my full adrenaline on them and just figure out what makes them happy so I could use that to my benefit in the future with other girls who I just want to be friends with. At the same time, I just want to be gentle with communicating in person with them.

I also received some calls to be an Account Manager for this business which sort of makes me laugh. I have a technical background and so some employers must not really mind the technical background and on top of pursuing after an M.B.A. Looks like, I will definitely have more jobs to interview for with an MBA. I did receive a call for a senior level technical position too which was awesome. I think I'm on an okay track so far.

Gaining An Hour

Today, I'm realizing that I have a lot of energy stored up underneath me. I think I am really a lot about performance while having the goods in an okay fashion. I woke up thinking that I missed church and sure enough, I really did not. I really need to start utilizing my time better and planting my heart in a more beautiful direction. It's like really easy to get lazy because underneath it all it's pretty funny to be all indolent. I guess for me I was mixing up a lot about commitment and displeasure and trying to be patient about some things. When it really comes down to feeling hopeless about finding the true person in your life, I think it boils down to really having confidence that there is someone out there. It's okay to share and be open about your preferences because that's how we were brought up. Some things may be pretty dumb and make me not want to be around that person but as long as there is a peaceful resolution I would not really mind. It feels like I really need to lead after all this calamity that's been drilled on me.

It's been emotionally a challenge in that I felt a lot of adrenaline and really wanted to yell at people who I thought were a bunch of vexing individuals who were up to no good. I think the energy of persistence is there for me which is not a bad thing. I think this adrenaline issue of mine is what some people think that I need to get help on. I'm coming to terms with it even though I really want to blame and justify that basically one guy thought he knew it all but practically closed things on me and really brought me to a level of wanting to stay frustrated. Because of my reaction, he practically lost control with the situation and did not know what to do so he would call up the authority to meddle with what he thought he could do on his own. Wow, that was pretty bad and I am become patient about this and learning to be open in a nice manner. I think I'm really ready to resolve the issue and sort of laugh at the people who act all angry with me even though I don't really know him and then make all these open allegations about me which is so funny. I just need to behave normally and be honest with myself.