Suffering For A Great Cause

I think it's very imperative to suffer after making some mistakes. I mean it shouldn't really be all about us all the time because there are billions of other people out there too. By being mindful of it, I think that's what we should come to terms with. 

Something that I'm realizing now is that sometimes a desire is just too high up there to go after. I mean it could be really tempting and even seducing to give into. What should be done is to just suffer with it and keep focusing on hard work. I don't really see it as a bad time to be left out with some things now, while going after the things that we want. Sometimes, the response just isn't going to be there and just continuing to knock could be done and maybe it might get you to succeed again. 

I guess just learning to deal with unfair things and then suffering through a lot of bad desires and coming out of it through hard work and common sense is just the way to go. 

Normal Checklist With Time

Demo trading Currency / Binary Options       

=== 15 min ===

Bible Stuff

=== 30 min ===

Piano

=== 15 min ===

Workout / Shower

=== 1 hour ===

Language

=== 30 min ===

Study/errands/explore life

=== 2 1/2 hours

Total: 5 hours personal time

Weekends

Just adding 10 hours of whatever rocks my boat. 

Precaution:

Don't feel so down if life sucks at the moment and try to keep on the go, while just self-managing it in a natural and emotional state. 

Not About Wasting Time

I think Facebook is really becoming more of a waste of my time. When I do get on there, all I'm really doing is just making comments to try to make myself known and have a good time really and then I'm out. I also check to see if some people I know are still on there from time to time. I also like to check out if my type is still on Facebook because she has periodically shut off her account! That's pretty much my Facebook endeavors, as not much for it is. I also add anybody who wants to be my friend and have given some girls who said they were interested in me a hard time.

I don't really care so much anymore because for some reason, most girls I want to get to know better get really shy with me and not answer back or something. I think I just need to laugh it off better and go see what's up without being offended about anything and then just communicate how crazy they are being if they are bothered about something and just have fun from there.

Getting On the Go

I'm going to just keep on moving from now on, instead of just lingering while pondering on how to trade now. I'm going to settle with getting other things done too now. My personal time is going to be just really seamless and comfortable at the same time. Just developing this type of knack is taking me awhile, but it's going to be one of my goals this time around.

I'm probably going to need some more time to adjust to this type of concentrated effort, even while I'm not feeling good about some things, but I'm just going to have to leave those matters to the good Lord to handle for me. I really want to be disciplined and to stay focused on a successful path with myself first, before I try to do anything that's going to require some guts and glory on my end.

Getting Things Done

I'm going to have to use my personal common sense a lot better these days. Maybe, I'm having a lot more fun from being accustomed to learning to how to trade. It looks like there's always a period where I dread doing something, but when I make some repeated attempts at getting better at it, then I make some type of progress. I'm still not very good at it because I don't want to spend that much time on it. The way that I see it now is to just go with the flow and adjust on the fly as much as possible.

I'm going to have to place a time limit on doing my trades now. Okay, now I'm just going to fully heavily rely on just myself with the tools I accumulated and I'm going to do everything super fast and quick as possible. I'm going to try to generate plenty of time and then get it down to the point where things will really significantly matter for me.

My main point of interests right now are to pretty much make advancements to my financial independence, get in physical shape, and settle down. I'm leaving some room to grow in my spiritual walk with the Lord and to also try to be giving to others and friends.

Balanced Routine

Maybe my trading activity might be a little too difficult to achieve right now. I might as well just expand upon my career and then just trade demo accounts on the side while doing it really fast and not minding if I suck at it. I'm just going to do trial and error as long as I need to, until I am confident enough I will be a profitable trader. I'm no longer going to put my money into purchasing anything now and just go for doing whatever I feel like.

The imbalance that I'm finding myself doing is that I'm spending way too much time on this side endeavor, and it isn't really bringing me that much income right now. I might as well just invest my time trying to study and then obtain a job that I will really enjoy doing for the rest of my life, while I work at the basics of retirement and continue with this trading endeavor. I'm getting really close to working the kinks out of it, while still being partially lazy with it.

I'm going to have to work on becoming a more balanced individual these days. I'm going to just go with my preferred methods and take off from there. Little by little, it's all starting to come together. I will not relent and keep on going stronger. I'm noticing that regardless of how many jokes I make on Facebook or think about personal stuff in the morning, when I'm locked onto something, it's actually easy for me to disregard some things that's happened to me.

I guess even if people were to say the meanest or funniest things, I can still block it out while I focus on what I need to do. Everybody has mental problems while being irritated about the most stupid things, but it's really up to the person to really resolve those inner conflicts within him or herself.

Stable Heart

My mind is just constantly changing for the better now. It's not really getting all so nervous anymore. I'm also a lot more tolerant to people's preferences, especially those things others might look down upon. I have my strong beliefs of how any person should live because I want to dedicate my life to serving the Lord I discover from the pages of the Holy Bible; yet, I'm not about forcing it down people's necks.

I'd rather live my life as an example and serve as a living testimony to how good believing in God really can be. I think one of my problems is that I might just be too entertained spending time with myself while I'm by myself and just expressing jokes. It has a problem with making me not concentrate very well. Since I'm totally over some things and capable of laughing at the circumstance at heart while in person, even while I'm hurting, I guess I have reestablished the advantage again.

Doesn't Really Matter To Me Now

There are so many things out there that could help us out. I think I'm the type who gets to understand how stuff work and then put it into action later. No matter what hole I climbed myself into, I am capable of achieving something that I desire. I am not worthy of it, no matter what, so all I can see it now is from a point of view of how I'm being given a blessing from God whenever something great happens to me!

No matter how hard I work for something on my own; I still believe that all the good stuff that come to me are a blessing from God. I will work my absolute hardest now and never relent at something I set my mind to. I will go all the way, until I don't see it as something worthy to go further with.

Not Tripping Out Anymore

Sometimes, it takes a lot of courage to be able to man up to a situation and take in the heat! I mean the situation has to be something that really was brought up on you from having been misjudged or misunderstood. It's really difficult to keep a straight face and to stay positive during these moments, but I think the important thing is to be able to stay resilient through those times and overcome the bad things being put on you.

What makes us human is that in life, we're going to go through many ups and downs in life. Some are just more weary about those situations and possibly my type of lady to marry could be sensitive about those issues too. Just having gone through the motion and figuring things out and then being able to love again after having been crushed in the spirit is a practice that we should all incorporate into our lives!

Just making sense out of some things requires us to have a level and cool mind about some things. It requires a lot of discernment and self-confidence to be able to communicate properly without going crazy on someone whether the person is being stood up on or standing up to somebody. I think overall, everybody has mental issues and what comes down to it, is that good really does overcome everything because true love is what helps us deal with problems of another person.

Something To Get Over

Maybe I've become very calm and relaxed already now. I'm learning that it might not really have to take a lot of genuine effort to let go of any bad feelings and might actually be natural to think positively. Ultimately, I'm really looking to have some genuine fun as I go throughout living my life. Eventually, it's really going to take a lot of timing in the process and understanding what life is really about while going after things that really make sense.

Actually, messaging a pretty lady on Facebook who I think is my type and hardly knowing her while getting some responses hasn't really been that bad. I guess I might be within her league or even better! Anyway, I tried to have a little fun with asking her out, but she didn't get back to me on it. I seriously think that I have a good chance with her, but I'll find out later if she ends up going to someone else. I also realize that my type does exist out there, even though they might respond to guys a lot less than I could imagine!

It's probably just the way it is in general for me with a bunch of uncertainty going around. I'm going to have to be okay with it and persevere with a positive outlook in life. I did manage to find a young guy whose pretty adept with girls and actually have a female friend whose like an older sister to me to help me out in settling down with my type. I think I'll be happy partnering up with just one lady of my type for the rest of my life and have a much more interesting and content life.

Little Improvement

I showed a little sign of improvement with speeding up my trades and being able to manage analyzing my losses better. That's pretty much it. I'm now adjusting to just becoming a simple swing and positional trader. I did fix up on my habit of sleeping on the couch and brushing my teeth before going to bed. It took a little bit of will power on my own end. 

My life is pretty simple right now, but I think it just takes will power to get to where I need to be. I mean things suck if it doesn't go your way, but just like Bill Gates said, "Life isn't fair. Get used to used to it." I'm still working at improving my concentration levels for work. My trading endeavor has turned into something I'm doing regularly, but I should spending a little less time on it now and just go with the flow in what I have now. I'm just randomly tweaking strategies and just trying to work out some magic formula, so I can just do it on the go. I guess I'll find out through doing that then. 

I'm going to just keep on improving myself the best that I can now and try to become more efficient at my own personal tasks and be satisfied with how I'm managing things. I'm learning to respect people even if they want to be cold and selfish or want some space from having some kind of mental problem. I'm also learning the uncertainty factor and to just accept it for what it is and to be forgiving of others, even if I get brought down low because of it. It just means I have to maintain myself better by pulling myself together. 

Repeating Behavior

Okay, for trading I'm going to just try to trade very fast from now on and just go with my style. I'm just in the process of learning, so I'm really going to have no shame with it while I focus at my full-time job more than this side endeavor.

I'm going to just read up on news and developments from Google News. It's just quick and easy every day. I'm also going for daily devotions with my Bible.

Of course, I'm looking to work out every day except on Sundays. I'm also going for learning a language still. Doing all of this and then going to work should pretty much be my basic bread and butter with my personal time. Still waiting on a girlfriend, but it's just funny for me to try picking up on one and I have no shame in being turned down now. As long as she's the one I want to try to connect with, I don't really mind if she doesn't want to. It looks like most of the girls I've actually tried going after stay pretty mild and delicate with me. From just being who I am, maybe I shouldn't really worry too much about women becoming quiet with me all of a sudden and just try to have fun while learning the ropes to establishing a very strong relationship with my type of lady! I'm just going for who I think is close to my absolute type now while being nearly my age to just narrow down the field and be so much easier to focus and make strategies on happy things. If I can establish a very healthy one, then I think I'll be happy with that. I'm going to stop messing around now and go after the best thing I can obtain in settling down with someone now.

Utilizing Time Properly

I'm sort of feeling like how I'm avoiding the bad things and just going for doing whatever, while optimizing my personal time doing good stuff. I'm actually at the point of not looking at things going for me that badly anymore. Feelings are so inconsistent with how a person can live a life. I honestly think that maybe my buddy I correspond very regularly to just doesn't go along with many plans because maybe he feels that he isn't too smart and wants to stand clear without any possibility of getting himself hurt. He's already been hurt though, which is funny because I don't know why he chooses to be so passive.

I'm thinking with how things going for me can't really be that bad, even though I make some really ballsy moves very often. The crazy part is that I make those mistakes too and feel horrible all the time. From just feeling horrible, I learn to deal with the problems and to cope with it while using strategies. I guess it all comes down to really understanding a situation and how best I can situate myself into something to get the most out of it.

I think trading currency could become a very risky business, but I see myself very interested in it just from knowing that I don't have to understand everything and not even have to spend that much time on it to try to make a living. This is where my success is really dependent on right now. I'm very confident with all the tools I accumulated now and think from just looking at one chart, I'll have all the clues I need for chasing after a profitable and comfortable money making system!

Personal List of Things To Accomplish Daily

It feels like I'm not really managing my personal time very properly these days. I've always had this problem, but I think back then, it was from feeling depressed about having nothing to do and not really seeing the opportunities that were out there for me. From having really lived my life, I know what I'm very well into and how I want to improve myself to becoming a very successful person.

I think from being the person I am, I'm just naturally going to cause others to feel uncomfortable at times when those people are just not in the mood for doing anything. Maybe it's because they have some mental problems going on, so I can't really be the one to blame there. I mean if they were in a great mood, then there wouldn't be any problems; they are just acting like immature and inconsistent people. My little sister is one of them, and I really hate that because I want her to be the sweetest and cutest thing on the planet while having someone to love and take care of her, but she likes to shut herself down with people often out of nowhere. There are some things a person can't fix and just has to be left alone, which is really the selfish heart of an individual. I truly believe that only God has the power to do something impossible like that.

I've been digressing about this heart matter stuff. This is my list of things I will try to forge into my head forever, instead of letting my feelings get me carried away to burn time before I go to work again. This is no particular order because I already know what I do for myself and see important. I'm going to constantly update this list until I feel it's completed and I'm ready to go for it.

1. Working out
2. Learning a language.
3. Trading currencies
4. Reading the Bible and devotionals/ having the heart to go to fellowships.
5. Studying for my dream job.

On the side, I guess I could read up on common news to get a feel for what's happening. I do follow up on professional sports very well. Whenever I could succeed at it, I could look to go hang out and do some dating maybe while expecting her to be the right person for me this time, instead of something random like I have usually done. I'm going to try to pursue after someone who I fully like while factoring in everything and feeling good about it; that way, I won't feel so bad if she turns me down. The best things are hard to come by, so I don't know why some people can't relate to breaking up with the perfect girl like coming close to winning the lottery and then become crazy afterwards. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm just going to go for my type and proper age this time, regardless of appearance and race.

Dedicating To Simple Routine

Some of my supervisors at work have been citing that I have a little issue with focusing on my job. It's a little hard for me because in my head I'm always thinking about funny stuff to entertain myself. I'm trying to balance this out now with the occasional random shame that I feel, out of nowhere, probably from doubting in my own personal confidence of displeasing others. It's pretty weird how some people don't understand me, but in general, some people have mental problems from just being totally agitated and unable to let something go very well. I was angry at these people for awhile, but now I think I realize they just have personal problems and something wrong going on in their heads which doesn't allow them to regulate their emotions too well. If they were the happiest people in the world, then they wouldn't really have beef with what I'm doing because common sense is to mainly start worrying if someone is threatening your personal life or getting very suicidal thoughts because of you.

What really solved the issue was just communicating these things to them in a nice weird form of some sort. I don't know how I managed, but still do without getting in big trouble. Anyhow, instead of letting my mind wander off so much into a personal abyss of eternal fun from my imaginations, I would like to make at least a little bit more effort to concentrate in the real world.

This is what I plan to somehow put into action. I usually keep talking about it because I'm pretty forgetful about the things I need to do, until it just becomes ingrained in my head. My mom just gets annoyed by me talking about the same thing, but she's still the same way like myself. I guess that just gives me an advantage in these personal clashes of people being annoyed with me over just being in a bad mood or something. It's because I just realize how they are being with me and can actually speak up to show them their personal fault. They might not really be the best people to partner up with though for me. I might as well just learn to be the leader then with my form of style and just keep getting better at it.

Lining Up My Schedule

With my personal time, I've been watching a little of that Pawn Stars show on T.V. I have to admit that it's pretty addictive and impressive with the items people bring in to show off and try to sell to the stars. Those guys have some, pretty amazing talents for running a pawn shop and put on a show. Anyhow, not to discredit them or anything, I really ought to focus on something good.

One of my buddies watches humorous shows of people making fools out of themselves to get a good laugh. He doesn't like it though when others laugh at him for doing something dumb. I believe his reasoning for doing quite a thing is to help treat his own inferiority complex on a daily basis. He's even accepted his personal, loser mentality from failing to achieve some mainstream goals every normal kid would go for. It's just the way the chips fall, but I feel that he's fully not comfortable with himself and goes for backing out a lot when the stakes just get too high. In order words, if one of his plans fail and he gets hurt by it, he would rather not pick himself back up again. It's really frustrating for me to be around him sometimes because I'm the type who looks to stay active and strive for positive things again when I'm struck with something very displeasing.

Anyhow, everybody has mental issues over something, but the majority don't have something really severe to even think about committing suicide or murdering another person. Those are the people who need to be detained out of their personal will and helped if possible. Everything else in between should be left up to the person's discretion of receiving personal therapy or not, no matter how many irritated people there are coming after him.  

Seeing If I Can Get Taller

I think the reason for there not being too many successful short people is that being a short person isn't really average. I think the whole tall people being successful and things coming a little easier to them sort of has to do with how they were raised properly with good parenting or something. Regardless of where we started off in life, as long as we can come to terms with our depressing stuff and some being much more severe than others, I think as long as we get to experience true happiness, it really doesn't matter what our outer appearance truly is.

I just want to try to get taller just for fun so I could look a little more average compared to my peers. I'm not really asking for much now, but it would be cool to defy the laws of medical science that everybody has planted in their heads. The hardest people to convince including myself are those who have a pretty inflexible mind, but I think what gets their attention the best is from testifying about results like those infomercials! I guess putting a little money into it since I have job and just to keep myself motivated for fun won't really hurt. I'm not really hurt by being short in general and think I've developed so much patience to make something into a routine while pushing myself to improve on results.

Pretty Simple Life

I'm starting to realize the good behind putting my trust in God based on the pages of the Holy Bible. In fact, from doing a quick search on Google, I came up with a simple site called holybible.org - now how easy is that to remember? The site has this daily e-mail that gets sent out to remind you to read the Bible. I like how it doesn't get any easier than that.

I have pretty much been trying to learn the secret to trading international currency pairs, so it's an art that I'm trying to perfect on my own. I'm like guarding it from people because I don't want others to really figure out my methods. Anyway, there's this club that I signed up for and their mission is to pretty much help everyone become a professional in that line of business with no charge! I guess there are people out there who do care after all, but if they can help me then I guess I could recommend them also for others interested.

I'm really looking to lay low with this money business if it ends up generating me a lot of consistent profit. For right now, it's just grinding away and looking for profitable entries using my preferred style. I'm pretty much trying to work out daily, do a little trading after reading up on the news and professional analysis, doing my daily devotionals with the Bible while possibly trying to make my way to fellowship during the week, and going to work!

Life doesn't really get any more simpler than that for me, along with making time to hang out with some interest groups and close buddies. It's pretty simple to find nice clubs, just go to meetup.com and browse for some free meetings with whatever interests you. I think I'm really about finding balance and having permanent victory over my own personal bad things through the guidance of the Bible. Once I am successful, have a really nice body, and am very healthy in a spiritual and passionate manner, I think I'll seriously be ready to settle down regardless of how short I really am for a guy, while standing a few inches over five feet, just like a bunch of other females in this world.

Better Discipline and Motivation

I'm going to have to stop being a dummy with my time management skills and just let myself suffer a lot better. I'm basically thinking of just being more strategic with my daily battle plan of being successful, and how better to associate with myself at more positive things. I don't really want to go down a road of just wasting my time now. I mean it's really fun, but I could always have room to improve somewhere better in life because it's just how I've been designed to function.

I need to just constantly develop myself and let the frustrations run away and to have this personal motivational drive for succeeding. I really need to stop coming home and turning on the T.V. in the living room to find myself passing out on the couch before I retire to my bedroom. I just have a habit of doing that. I do get a good night's sleep for sure, but I really would like to make better use of my time and get used to the dreaded feelings of studying while I'm exhausted.

I think with the idea of using company,  I guess when I go see my buddy I could just bring my laptop and find something educational to do while allowing him to waste away his time on keeping himself entertained. He seems to have found things to keep himself occupied through things that are not my ideal choice of fun these days, but as long as he's finding something to do to help ease the pain of feeling depressed all the time.

I think while I leave the T.V. on during my free time then perhaps I could play on my laptop with finding stuff to learn and boost my career and personal motivation. This might very well become a decent habit of mine to do, while keeping myself at least somewhat awake. My brain has been having a hard time being flexible, but that's where I'm struggling the most right now from what I know with myself.

I'm just going to have to create better balance for myself from now on and even if I make a fall from the act of being impulsive, I really should aim to tame myself better and save the energy for something more appropriate later on in life.

Managing Personal Time Better

I remember how hard it was to motivate myself to get up out of my seat and work out. The hormones in my brain would have this dissatisfied appeal with the thought of working out and leave me with wanting to just play video games and watch movies all day, while being comfortable and no one bugging me. The mental problem that occurred to me was that I wasn't happy with how things were panning out after awhile. Therefore, I sought after becoming a very healthy individual. Basically, I see that being an athlete is going to make me money on the long run and give me some added bonuses so that's why I'm motivated to go get it!

I'm actually a lot more happier to be able to move around and be on the go. Even the girl I'm into right now has an ambition to work out and stay within a reasonable weight. It's really all coming down to timing and how I go about executing it with a little bit of favor upon me of course, which wouldn't really hurt. I think my path is pretty uniquely laid out these days and that I shouldn't really be fooling around anymore and become really serious with a sense of responsibility and added layer of personal security.

Again, I'm going to try to make myself taller with a routine going. It just doesn't feel natural to do something silly like that attempt for me because I just plain don't care with short I am right now. Anyway, I could use a few more added inches and think it would be nice to be tall, but I don't want to be too tall because it's a longer fall to the ground later on in life. I'm thinking of getting back into martial arts so I can conquer my mind over matter and get improved results with my personal and work life. I also need to start spending more time with the Lord, as well. I've also had a little success at regrowing my hair too and keeping it from falling out like my dad has. It's pretty funny how he looks, but I think my stress was causing me to get a itchy scalp so I would scratch it impulsively and that's probably why my hair fell out and has a hard time regenerating itself. Anyway, it's getting more thicker from the treatments I've been using in the shower. I hope my hair looks very good in time, so I can go back to the old days where I looked good because of my hair style.

General Trading Ideas

In addition to the details I highlighted on my last post, I'm also planning on looking at some commentary and news every morning on how the market is doing to get a general feel for what to anticipate. Also, I have taken on a variant of the Forex platform which is binary options. I have some live accounts in them and one of them is being managed by a professional. I'm currently working at figuring out who I'm going to allow managing my money for Forex as well. Thank God for demo accounts with a live market feed to test out the winners and losers on the long run, with no actual fear of losing capital.

The way I have my trading style adapted is that I don't really plan on staying on my computer that long to trade. Making some quick bucks on the side with little, but very intelligent effort is really my style so therefore, I'm putting my thinking caps onto this side of business these days. After a few years in the making, it's starting to make a lot more sense with what I'm doing and how I'm handling business.

Trading Plan Update

From having a demo account that allows hedging with Forex which is prohibited in U.S. grounds, I'm actually capable of managing all my strategies with just one broker to test my theories live. I'm actually using a simple script I created to be able to log a note of how I'm trading. I'm just noting the time frame and strategy I used so I can go back and look at it to analyze how I messed up!

This form of trying to earn a living is actually starting to become really enjoyable for me and something I can focus pretty hard on, which is very important to my own personal success. At my workplace, my mind is just constantly wandering off about my relationships with people for some reason, and all the jokes I am being mindful about. It's a pretty bad addiction that I have going, so I need to put an end to it and start focusing better even though the line of work isn't really cut out for me. It's paying the bills, so in the mean time, while I do my best to succeed at this endeavor, I need to find a way to enjoy myself better while earning a living.

My basic strategy is really just lining up candlestick formations with important price levels depicted by Fibonacci levels and support/resistance pivots. Everything is already automatically calculated, and the only thing I really need to do is just determine the stop levels while analyzing whether price is at a support or resistance level in conjunction with the proper candlestick setup.

Along with that going, I have a special thing going which I call the daily rub! My daily rub is specifically for the Daily time frame only. I'm mainly only trading the daily and 4H time frames now, while sometimes using the 1H to confirm if there's a rally or bear market forming. Also, I'm subscribed to a market report which describes the major chart patterns that have formed. I'm only trading six major pairs, along with looking at Gold and Silver prices now.

Poor and Unfortunate Souls

I remember watching Little Mermaid way back when I was little and remember this character singing, "Poor and unfortunate souls in pain..." It gets me to remind myself of feeling pity for those religious kids who grew up to still be kids in the head while young adults. I'm just saying they never got around to dealing with it while being so irritated, after being in a bad mood. Maybe something is wrong in their head where they can't regulate their own feelings too well and then start going crazy and creating personal issues with others.

Oh well, they are just the selfish kind to me, and it drove me to so much anger for the longest time imaginable because they did stuff that could drive any person off the wall and then start going on a murderous rampage! I'm starting to feel really bad for them, but what I got out of it from them doing this kind of stuff to me is that my height really doesn't matter. I'm very short compared to others, but they still saw me as a perceived, physical threat; it just didn't add up to me for the last five years or so. I had a personal height complex, where I felt inferior to others because of my short height. Yet, I performed at the highest level I could function at most times because I was driven to always succeed and get good at something.

I made a promise with one of the female leaders at that freaked up church: I told her that when I get muscles with some six pack abs and have lots of money while able to earn it on my own terms with no traditional job and if I'm still single, I'm going to show up one last time. If they decide to still go crazy with me, then I'm letting them take the win. I'll move on from that point and have truly forever recorded in my own heart and whoever was watching that my diminutive height of being only 5' 3" doesn't ever matter forever!

Just For Fun

Now, I'm going to see if I can get myself taller still for fun. It's not really a serious goal for me anymore. I'm starting to not feel bad about being a short person, or if others want to look down at me because of it. I don't think it has anything to do with it because my appearance and personality is pretty unique in general, and I've been told by taller friends that I'm actually pretty good looking. I just didn't want to accept how short I was and to go on living at the time, but still I forced myself to be reckoned with at the same time.

Yeah for being a short dude, I still look pretty normal and for that I don't really get discriminated for just being short. I'm actually still asked for doing favors that normal people would really do in general. Another fun thing that I'm doing is still playing the piano a little. I have something going with it, and it's just for fun. I'm not very good like a professional yet, but it would be fun to get good at it. Another boring thing that I'm trying to accomplish is learning the language I've been talking about all this time. Of course, I have this blog that I'm writing for fun to help myself out!

Realizing My List of Goals

There are a lot of things that I'm really interested in doing, but I'm just going to put down the main goals I can think of. My desires of goals are just constantly updating itself, but I think generalizing it will pretty much help me manage the smaller tasks that are required for me to obtain them. I am seriously a very, different-minded person these days compared to the average Joe. I like to pretty much always live on a high and to focus and train even harder if I get hit with a setback. I am really blessed by God to have been provided for a life that could be rich and meaningful, only if I am able to manage it that way.

Just writing this out of the blue, it seems like with the road I have taken, some people have been just cut off from me. It's been really annoying to the point that I try to ignore it at times, but I've been at risk several times of developing a very serious, mental issue because of it. I'm realizing the importance of learning to respect those who are lesser than you in some areas of life and to stay optimistic! It also means developing a knack for conducting the self really well around some people and getting to a point of doing it with hardly any effort at all and becoming successful, while influencing them in the right direction you want them to go.

This is my list that I eventually will try to accomplish in no particular order through a lot of hard work:

1.) Free time with lots of money gained and can be earned from putting a little bit of invested time.

2.) A healthy physique from having rock-hard abs and muscles and then being versed in a cool martial arts form, while being able to do some decent gymnastic tricks like back flips and the splits!

3.) Spending closer time with the Lord and settling down with my type to start a family- think it might actually work out with a very strong, life-long relationship.

4.) Obtaining a network engineering job and being able to volunteer while certified as a professional physician's assistant at a third world country.

5.) Being able to hang out to have fun with not too many worries with attractive people on a regular basis.

Could She Be The One For Me?

I guess from watching movies and figuring how people are in life, you can't always end up with a happy ending. Therefore, I'm giving it my all and the best effort I can to see how far I can obtain with my hopes and dreams, even without exhibiting any more frustrations that go along with failure! I realize that the woman I'm pretty much attracted into settling down with is a pretty nice person to go along with being beautiful as well, which is just dandy with me!

I've noticed that even through having these normal thoughts of becoming a dad or husband, I see myself already abandoning my past, stupid reasons for fooling around with the wrong type of group to idolize. I think true happiness really does occur with the things of God. He practically inspired misfits of the world back then to write down a loving and peaceful message that reveals the true nature of Himself and how He really wants us to live the best life imaginable! Well, having fun is great but when it's abused, the consequences seriously really suck and can leave a person not having that same feeling of arousal anymore after awhile- just imagine having been through it all and lying around as a 90 year old. Yeah, I don't think that's something I would like to think about either.

What I'm getting a sense for is how the principles found in the Bible actually relates to a very long lasting and truly satisfying life within the heart, no matter what storms try to drain our individual life's energy. How does this relate to the girl I've been thinking about? Since she's my type, it makes me want to think more about lasting things. I'm just glad to be aware of how I actually do have a type, which I didn't know for practically my entire life. It seems like this attraction is leading to a wonderful path of chasing after good things, which might be hard to comprehend for some people. It's going to really suck if I don't have anyone to settle down with if she ends up with someone else. I hope it doesn't happen, but if I gave it my whole hurrah then there would be nothing I could do about it and just move on to another opportunity. It's just the process I'm going through, rather than being centered on demanding instant gratification.

Career Options

From doing a little reading and checking up on my own personal style, I just can't be a poker player! I burned about $250 dollars on one night in hopes of turning a profit, and I did all this proper money management but the cards kept on backfiring on me! What they call it is a bad beat, where I would have the perfect setup with the best opportunity of earning the best, probable outcome but still according to this book I read, it's still a gamble where you might on average be a 7 to 3 favorite to win the hand.

Personally, I don't really want to sit there and watch cards anymore all day. I'm all washed up man from the bad beats and just being set up all the time. I don't want to gamble in that type of weird fashion anymore, no matter how solid I can manage to play. It's really the luck factor which really doesn't seem to work well with my own personal style. I gave it a shot and fell out of it. Now, it's time to face my focus on my other, opportunistic venues.

Where I see myself headed now is taking up a job as a network engineer and mastering a language my Asian parents speak and even getting paid to do it very well! On the side, I still run the risk of losing a lot of money, but I actually enjoy my uncanny style where I can just sit through ten minutes to enter some currency trades and then let it go for a whole night before repeating the process again. I really like this type of style and am still working at mastering it, but once I have it, my life might actually change for the better! I also have a career in mind of studying, while not really considering it a job but more of a volunteering opportunity which is learning to be physician's assistant and help out at a third world country or something like that on my spare time. Eventually, I am so motivated by my trading style that I believe it's going to bring me a large sum of spending money into my life. I just like having revealed information flowing through my finger tips to clue in on how a market is doing and also being able to read tried chart patterns that actually work!

Having A Good Laugh

I'm realizing that a lot of comments I'm making on Facebook and to deal with the stresses of life are making me laugh personally. If others can go along with my fun too, then it's even better! Maybe I'm not even realizing how funny I'm really actually being sometimes, but yeah, for the longest time I was seriously dealing with some crazy people. I couldn't really let them go because they were driving me so mad! I wanted to like get back at them on a daily basis with this never ending grudge.

I might from time to time still have those feelings of wanting to crush their puny lives apart, but now it's starting to mellow out with better reason. It's better that you don't let the sun go down in anger, especially after finding out the people you are dealing with actually have some mental issues with you! I guess in life, not everyone is able to enjoy it because some problems could be circulating in their personal lives. We all could use some balance and wisdom to help us stay on track. This is where I personally believe that the Bible does its best work for all believers who truly want to live out God's desires for us all.

To being the bigger person, yeah, it does make sense to respect their personal space. The loser is going to try to call in for backup when the person he or she can't stand is trying to tear the loser's life apart. The loser is actually being an embarrassment and unaware of it, so all I can really do is just have compassion on the poor soul and provide him or her the space and move on now!

Common Sense

Well yeah, people might have personal issues with their personal space and act really crazy with you, but yeah, they are entitled to do whatever they please; no matter how far out it might seem to you. Just leave it to the authorities to settle things, if they are doing something borderline with criminal activities. It really should be just common sense to leave it be and to respect them, while moving on. Let them deal with their own personal problems and try not to get so angry about it!

I don't really see how it makes sense to try sympathizing with them, but yeah, I guess it can be done from a bystander's point of view and to just stay out of their way. If something is wrong, it's probably better to just be the bigger man here and feel your way through with what might actually be a good thing while limiting the amount of work to do. People will come and go, but you can still learn to be a winner for the majority of the time. It doesn't really matter what results you get in a short time-frame, but rather making a full-pledged effort with making progress!

Interesting Stuff To Do

I realize that there are a lot of convenient apps out there, and how they can also cater to my available schedule. It really becomes all about personal interest then right? I am pretty much trying to make a whole ton of money through investing my money properly. It looks like it's really all about finding the right people and resources and then putting it into work.

I've found out that in general, mature women who want to get married might not really worry that much about appearances. I think they are more attracted to a grounded, kind, and successful male rather than a good-looking, tall guy. For guys in general, they want to get in a relationship with a beautiful, fun, and full-of-energy type woman. I have just been gaining a lot more experience with these things and thinking that maybe plugging myself into a T.V. screen might not actually be that worthwhile to me now.

Life is about taking calculated risks, when it comes to running a business; other than that, a little effort can always be made to find the one you are looking for. I'm not really so worried anymore and won't feel let down because it's just all a process of getting somewhere.

Updated Trading Style

I've found out that maybe opting for the news might not be so reliable as I would have liked, so now I'm relying on a popular investing site for a spin on its own analysis about the current market. I guess looking through it regularly will give me a little heads up of what to look for. I still have my lazy-style trading going where I spend a couple minutes fishing for a decent trade and then leave it hanging for the rest of the day, before doing the same routine the next day.

I'm basically just going back and forth with some of the tools I have, but looks like I'm about to get pretty set while looking for a profitable method that I could conveniently rinse and repeat for making profitable trades. I don't really care about making the maximum, optimal amount; I just want to conveniently generate some profit on the side, so this is what I'm resorting to. It's largely turning out to be trial and error, but I have no shame with blowing out my $5 Million demo account, in order to at least learn something! I'm locked in with trading six major pairs right now, but it looks pretty diversified so all I really care about is trying to generate a consistent amount of profit on a very comfortable basis for myself. I'm sort of being trained right now to not get so trigger happy and put my money at unnecessary risk!

Interesting Schedule

I'm just mainly doing three things each morning at home: working out and then showering with hair loss prevention shampoo. The other being spending time on my computer trying to make money as a currency trader! I really am starting to enjoy the movements of the currency market and setting it up to how I can spend a few minutes a day monitoring my trades to practice on making profit. Just one of these days man, I'm going to have it down and start rolling with the green!

With the free time that I have, I'm looking forward to research and development of my interested career. A lot of it really comes from how I want to value certain things, but yeah, it looks like I might try to spend a little time at church during the week. I truly believe that there is a God who loved us so much that he could transform our minds and hearts for good through the love of His Son, Christ! I'm surely going to try to keep my heart in the right place at all times, regardless of how others decide to judge me that originates from their own personal issues.

What I'm Looking Forward To

I'm really to be a lot about planning things and making progress. I still have a lot more room for improvement in my life and not really trying to make any more rash decisions. It isn't really my business to meddle into people's affairs if it isn't a desired thing for them. I would rather just work on myself first and then try to achieve many pinnacles of my life to try to enjoy life to the fullest! 

This is sort of a first time in my life, where I'm actually interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with my type! I feel great about it actually and think that I could actually maintain a strong, life-long relationship with her. I'm pretty excited about it myself, even through the periodic struggles I put myself through. More and more, it's getting easier to overcome my shortcomings and to go for obtaining my goals in my life. I don't feel bad about working hard for them either now. I just want to keep pushing ahead further in life and gaining much as I can, while keeping a balance for the spiritual things of the Lord!  

Only A Matter of Time

It's one of those months now where I really went to jump ahead and develop with things. I'm starting to get to used to the idea of being let down by others, also and how I should be moving on from it. I think it really needs to be all about execution of proper timing and from how I want to run things, letting it be something that's about living in the present.

Eventually, I guess I'll be getting around to doing the fun stuff that's been in my head, but for now, I'm going to have to really continue to work on myself and gain more confidence! No longer do I feel remorseful or heavily annoyed about stuff that a group of people did to me. It should be in the past now, and maybe they still have personal issues that I can't fix, so it's probably better to let them be and not stand in their way.

Making A Career Move

I think working at a job is very boring in general. I don't think it's fun to be stuck at work for eight to eleven hours a day during the week doing something to pass the time. I've noticed for myself that maybe my occupational strength and interests might lie with grabbing an MBA and getting a suave job in the I.T. world. I guess I'm just that type of person where I might be gifted in that area thanks to the amount of time I spent in it and from having this slight form of addiction with learning about the field.

What I'm starting to notice for myself is that it doesn't matter how hard something is in an area that you want to seek after, the only time it becomes a problem is if you still long for it and have stopped chasing after the dream. If you are worn out, tired, and just bored of the subject then it's a different story because there's no point in going any further with the field and moving on to another project. As long as the interest stays lit, then that's when the person should just keep on going after it. Other than that, some people could just be destined to stay dull and have some form of inferiority complex!

Pursuing A Lovely Wife

These days, I guess from having my own type of women to message and try to get to know better has made it easier to stay hopeful and not decide to get really freaky all of a sudden! I'm pretty blessed from not having given into lusts physically with the worst imaginable outcomes, but it's been something that has been tempting me on a less than often basis. I feel very strongly about consummating only after marriage, so I'm looking to build a pure and passionate relationship that will just explode with so much ecstasy after tying the knot for a consistent amount of time.

I'm looking to keep my faith and heart in the right direction and not sway from it as much as possible. Nowadays, I'm really comfortable with being attracted to the beautiful woman I have in mind and even communicating with her. I choose to not be a jealous type and pay a lot of respect! From the hardships I have had in budding friendships with others, I've been able to discern lately the importance of continuing to move forward and being grateful for attempting to achieve a triumphant thing! Even with these qualities I have decided to strictly adhere to, I'm still going to work on myself and continue to do and look for stuff that make absolute sense and optimize physical and emotional attraction from my own type I want to be with.

Friend's Funny Description

One of my close friends told me that my incident with some church people reminded him of how I did something and then all of a sudden became the ugly duckling in the group. What I would do was just leave, take some time off, and then after coming back, it would make them only more angrier. From having been mad or frustrated and so fierce about carrying out their personal decisions with me, they became clouded in their own thinking and then started acting all crazy.

It doesn't make me feel remorseful anymore with thinking about the situation, neither does it get me so much more angry and frustrated, but it was neat to hear a different, offbeat illustration from a buddy and to be able to laugh about it last night!

Reasoning Back To Becoming Sound

Something that finally catches my breath now is how from being able to laugh about some people's issues with me and not caring so much about what happened, I'm able to function without becoming incredibly mad intermittently from being unable to ignore a past event. I did a little reading up on the inferiority complex, which is a list of behaviors that come from feeling inferior to others. Some people online have joked that short men have this form, so I tried to honestly assess myself with it. It largely comes from caring about how little you feel inside and then trying to compensate by acting different from how others would normally act. In a nutshell, after assessing an annoying and dumb, former-Special Ed. student; you don't have it if you simply don't care.  

To a degree, we all need to not care about some things so much. Like yesterday, I was asking my little sister if she was in any relationship with a guy and then she became very uncomfortable and defensive about it. I joked with her about it, of course and then walked away after calling her a weird person. It was just bantering her a little like siblings can do sometimes, but all in the name of fun. I would normally have been mad because I'm the type who demands a direct, no-nonsense answer when I ask a simple yes-no question. It's definitely something about certain people with issues they can't manage; they just have to keep to themselves, but the indirect body language and words expressed become a little fun to try deciphering to get a reasonable feeling of how the person is doing.

I've basically learned to emotionally adapt to situations that would normally have made me want to crush people in a MMA cage. Life sucks sometimes; Bill Gates also coined the phrase, "[Life isn't fair.] Get used to used to it!" Ever since putting that quote on one of my other posts, I haven't forgot it!